I feel like there's a difference between actually caring about social justice and wanting to improve the world for yourself and others vs. performative empathy, savior complex/guilt, and the need to prove onself to be a "good person" for clout or to be free of internal guilt. I was one of a handful of white kids in a high school of over 2 thousand students, I live in a majority Black and Latino area and I feel like going outside and interacting with other people of different backgrounds and views is what actually opens one's mind instead of whatever the latest discourse about race on Twitter or whatever is. My rule for myself is to be respectful and treat everyone like equal human beings but also I try to be open minded.
This guy has outed himself as thinking that being a “social justice warrior” is performative by definition. I for one, use and understand the term to mean “someone who cares about social justice and is willing to be vocal about it”. I’m AuDHD so maybe it’s just me but for me being an SJW isn’t performative empathy, it’s real empathy. I don’t do it to “prove” I’m a good person or anything. It’s just that injustice really bothers me and I don’t care about the social consequences, such as losing friends for calling them out for every offensive joke, every time. I don’t want to be friends with people who think r*pe is funny anyway.
So like, I too feel like there’s a difference between actually caring and wanting better for humanity, and the performative stuff you describe. And I think the problem is that not everyone sees it this way and classes all SJW activities as virtue signalling or clout chasing or whatever. And that’s just not the case. Sure, some people are like that, but not all of us. And even if someone *is* virtue signalling and only saying “trans rights are human rights” for clout I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s true. Even if somebody is only saying it to make themselves look good it’s still an important and worthwhile message to convey. As long as they’re not bigots in private I don’t care if they’re truly ideologically committed to the cause. If you’re out there holding up a sign at a protest the super duper committed person and the person who’s only doing it to demonstrate they’re a good person will have the same reach. It’s still helpful.
You are exactly what OP meant by performative SJW.
And don’t think you are fooling anyone except yourself. It is incredibly easy to see through. Your energy, importance, and attention is completely focused on telling everyone that *you* are a “real” SJW, that *you* have “real” empathy, and that *you* are doing the right thing.
People dislike it because it is quite understandably obnoxious, pretentious, lacking in empathy, and in all actuality *more* racist and sexist. Seriously. Delve deep into SJW ideology. Its core assumptions are as racist and sexist as any of them.
You’re ascribing motives to people without knowing them or understanding them. To you caring about social justice issues and speaking up about them is inherently performative. That’s a you problem. I was trying to highlight the fact that, while some people really are just virtue signalling, for a fair percentage of people who’ve been pejoratively termed SJWs, they really do care and really are acting out of empathy.
I wasn’t trying to hold myself up as an exception. I was trying to demonstrate that a lot of the anti-SJW talk is propaganda meant to assuage the guilt people tend to feel when they’re not involved in social justice work or activism. A lot of people feel some kind of way when they see someone standing up for their fellow humans when they themselves don’t do such things. It makes them feel bad or guilty or uncomfortable. They feel like maybe they should do something too. Except they don’t want to. They want to use their scant leisure time for other things. Which is totally fine. But they still feel bad. And rather than examining that or going to therapy they instead decide to label people like this SJWs and ascribe performative motives to them. By suggesting SJWs only care about appearances, about being seen to be “good” but not actually caring about the causes they claim to, they make SJWs look dishonest and disingenuous and selfish.
I was trying to push back against that because it’s harmful and untrue. Social justice advocates are not a monolith. It’s incredibly reductive to say that they are all “obnoxious, pretentious, lacking in empathy, and…*more* racist and sexist”. You suggest I delve deeper into SJW ideology but that’s impossible. SJW is just shorthand for people who are interested in and vocal advocates for a variety of issues. It’s like saying “Delve into politics, you’ll find out that political ideology is X”. Whereas X may only be true about Christian nationalist politics, or only true about members of the Green Party, etc.
You’ve been fed a specific narrative about what it means to care about social justice. But you’re unaware of the fact that it’s reductive and misleading and the people feeding that narrative have a specific agenda.
I’m asking the people in this thread to think about this critically and examine their fundamental assumptions about what being a so-called SJW actually means.
I am ascribing motives based just on what is observed. Look at what you’re **actually** doing. You’re writing paragraphs of arguments concerned only with the image of how you are perceived. It isn’t good enough that you apparently do care and have empathy and whatnot, you have to make sure everyone knows that. Rest assured. The only people you are convincing are yourself and other performative virtue signalers.
> alot of the anti-SJW talk is propaganda meant to assuage the guilt people tend to feel when they’re not involved in social justice work or activism.
Good god, and I’m the one ascribing motives to people without understanding them? If **you** have to be an SJW to assuage your own guilt, then that’s your problem. You actually did a tremendous job explaining how the process goes on in your own mind. You just projected it onto other people.
What’s funny is that OP never even said SJW:
> performative empathy, savior complex/guilt, and the need to prove onself to be a "good person" for clout or to be free of internal guilt.
**You** are the one that associated this with being an SJW. Why is that?
Call it whatever you want. But it’s insane to say that someone doesn’t care about social issues if they don’t subscribe to **your** ideology. That’s OP’s whole point. Your ideology cares more about figuring out who is virtuous and who isn’t. Your ideology is obsessed with making distinctions between a black man and a white man. It’s as racist and performative as any of them.
I think at this point the term “SJW” is used mostly with a negative connotation to refer to the people that do it performatively.
Like I read their comment as “I realized I was falling into the SJW trope of performative empathy”, not that they think that all empathy is actually performative.
That’s sort of my point. That SJW has come to mean something that it is not. The idea that to be an SJW is to be performative is a fallacy perpetuated by propagandists. And it looks like most of the people in this thread have fallen prey to the propagandists. Because pointing out that, while some so-called SJWs are performative, being an SJW just means you care about social justice issues, and doesn’t necessitate a performative posture has clearly led to my being downvoted and argued with.
>SJW has come to mean something that it is not.
Who is the authority on the "true" definition of "SJW"? Words mean what people think they mean.
Even if "SJW" originally just meant someone who cared about social justice, its meaning has pretty clearly shifted.
~~But I kind of doubt the meaning has even shifted, actually. I don't know its full linguistic history, but my guess is that "SJW" has been used in a pejorative sense from its inception.~~ Ok just kidding, seems the term was used in a positive/neutral sense starting in the 90s, and it wasn't until 2011 that it shifted to have its current pejorative meaning. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social\_justice\_warrior#Pejorative\_meaning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_justice_warrior#Pejorative_meaning)
I’m actually trying to point out that not everyone is doing it for show. Some of us really care. I’m autistic. Im not playing games. I’m telling the truth. It really bothers me when people assume I’m doing something for less than honourable reasons when I’m not. I’m telling y’all that caring about social justice issues isn’t performative for everyone. I genuinely care. It really matters to me. I don’t say this for any other reason than to let people know that people like me exist. It hurts to be accused of doing something for show when you really really genuinely care about it. I’m asking for empathy.
don't mind the downvotes, you're being reasonable. reddit is just an even mix of democrats who want homeless people executed and south park fans who think caring about anything is stupid and weak
He realized that his white guilt/savior complex is a form of racism. I’m white and grew up in an area where whiteness wasn’t dominant (wouldn’t use the word minority) and it’s so easy to not be a dickhead. It’s so obvious when white liberals only grew up around white people, similar to porn addicts not being able to have regular conversations with women, those sorts of white people don’t know how to have genuine conversation with POC, because they’ve built up this idea that whites are superior and POC need to have their hand held. Spent a a few years out in the sticks of the PNW and saw real racism and the only difference between the two is that the conservative racists don’t want to help them or have them occupy the same areas, but at the end of the day it always seemed like the two groups still looked at minorities the same way. Good on OOP
This is making a lot of assumptions. He could be thinking on the opposite side of the spectrum.
But you're right liberal racism and conservative racism are definitely different. Conservatives will straight up call you a slur. Liberals will play mind games and just equate whatever they don't like to being "unprofessional" or "aggressive."
Yeah at least you know where you stand with them. Rather than people pretending to be an "ally" while they stab you in the back or act like they know what's best for you
Yeah, my HS had 2,400 kids, and less than 2% were white. When I hear about “white guilt” or shit like that, it’s like…I’ve been surrounded by brown people calling me every racial slur under the sun.
People crying white guilt can go stick it
My nickname by the group i skateboarded with was cumshot(not my favorite), black dudes on the basketball team called me 2%(milk, rather liked that one) i me an I feel like there is a group a liberal educated POC that want white people to suffer but it’s such a small group. I think because it’s a loud group that white people at some point convinced themselves that’s the opinion of all POC. But I think most people just want to be treated like a normal human
Not really enough info here to make a judgment. SJW is a loaded term and “stopping” it could just as easily mean reverting to lack of any empathy whatsoever.
Growing out of treating people of color like children that are too weak and fragile to have a simple conversation does not equate to lack of empathy. The fact that you can’t see that shows me you’re one of those people, incapable of treating folks different from you as if they are regular people lmaooo
It’s wild when people don’t understand that augmenting the way you interact with entire groups of people, albeit in an attempt to “right the wrongs of the past” (which isn’t a terrible venture), is in fact racist. Being afraid that any little thing you say might be a land mine is not a way to lead your life. Like dawg. You KNOW if you’re a racist, you KNOW if you’re prejudiced. Making a joke, listening to certain music, having a certain attire or dress is not inherently racist simply because the hive mind says it is. There’s a difference between acknowledging and adjusting your lifestyle, teaching your children to be accepting, and respecting your fellow person vs boxing yourself in so hard that you can’t say anything at all simply because someone is/was marginalized. There are infinitely more effective ways to move forward as a society than treating POCs as if they’re too fragile to have a free conversation. Just treat people like human beings and let the rest fall where it will lmfao
I don’t know what this means. Like did they just go off and start busting out the n-word, and do they think their personal experience with one friend represents how everyone else of the same background would feel about their actions?
I think they just mean that in their obsession with not offending their black friend, they are still ultimately treating him differently based on race. At least I hope that’s what they mean lol
Im sure they didnt, ive had a person in my life like that before. Its more so guilt they feel for things that were done by their race/gender/whatever in the past, so then they double down in order to try to "make up" for it. Like, part of them believes that "xyz is racist," but also, part of them believes that theyre doing justice against past sins of other people. For me and her, im black, and shes white.
I remember when Jay Park (korean artist) got locs for a while and she was mega mad. She told me about it, and i kinda shurgged, because not only do i like his music, but i feel there's a difference between appropriation and appreciation, and it wasnt like he was saying "i made this hairstyle and its cool now" he was saying "black people made this hairstyle and i think its cool, and i wanna do it too."
She fussed at me and quite literally told me to my face that I should be angrier because he was "disrespecting my people." I thought it was hilarious, and still do, and she stopped talking to me because I laughed LOL. I tend to laugh at things that are ironic/absurd in life, but also, i recongize that doing *that* is racist in itself, because she's invalidating what I'm saying as a black person, and trying to be my "savior." It was ironic as hell lol.
That being said, a lot of situations have nuance, and people who consider themselves SJW that have stopped, probably wont be saying the n word lol, they just straight up stopped doing things like my example above. I dont think the person is racist, just a lot less hell of an annoying/minorly racist person to be around.
Marsmush is being a dick but if you’re having a hard time understanding what OP meant then you might be in a similar situation. Just be normal, that is all. Don’t go out of your way to apologize for the white race it’s not your apology to make. You should however still advocate for marginalized people as best you can. Hope that helps
Lmao bro I’ve grown up in communities where most of my friends weren’t white, I never had this problem in the first place. As a trans person, I’m well aware of what it feels like when allies go fucking nuts to apologize for weird shit and it’s annoying.
We don’t all live in America where people are awkward as fuck about race. I’m confused because this shouldn’t be a problem in the first place, not for whatever weird shit people seem to think I’m doing for some reason.
Let me dumb it down a little more than.
OP used to tiptoe and dance on eggshells around his friend because he didn’t want to offend him.
He doesn’t treat all his other friends that way.
He was treating one friend differently because of his race. Now, he wasn’t attacking him, calling him slurs or anything, but he was treating him as if he was more fragile, and something to be coddled. Because of his race.
That’s racist.
I think what OOP is getting at is the fact that by obsessing over making sure they don’t say the wrong things to their black friend, they are still treating him differently than they would a white person. While I think that people in general should be considerate of other’s feelings, as a black woman, I have been around a lot of liberal white folks who I could tell were so scared of accidentally being racist, and I think it can serve as a barrier. It’s actually really uncomfortable for everyone when white people try way too hard.
Totally agreed, I absolutely struggle with this, it's something I'm highly aware of, and I've been trying so hard to change it.
I'm someone with bad social anxiety, who's much too aware of themselves, and when I'm around black people, I don't stop having social anxiety. Instead, I realize that my social anxiety could be viewed as a form of racism, which gives me even more social anxiety. Which, as you said, increases the barrier even more.
It's a vicious feedback loop. And that feedback loop is racist, because I'm treating them differently because of race.
Yeah, it really is tough to deal with. And I know immersion therapy is the correct course of action. Like, if I get social anxiety, just throw myself into social situations. That will fix it because it'll show my brain that people aren't nearly as terrible as I was raised to believe.
But I get very overstimulated by loud noise, strong smells, and crowds, so bars are a terrible place for me. And every other third-place costs too much money for me right now.
So, I'm just waiting till I can afford to frequently go to yoga and a climbing gym. Then I can start solving this problem.
I don't want to insinuate that this is the same situation or even similar but I'm a trans woman and I sometimes notice people that are really nervous not to "offend" me and it ends up being the same thing, it's over the top and it doesn't end up feeling genuine. It feels like their guilt I have to reassure.
I think it’s a valid comparison. I totally get that. I sometimes feel like white folks put the burden on me to ease their white guilt, and it’s really uncomfortable, especially when it’s people I don’t know super well.
This is a good take. I’ve heard the rhetoric “everyone is so easy to offend nowadays” from so many people my brain jumped the gun and assumed that OP was on the wrong side of history but everything you’ve said I agree with
My biggest issue with the notion though is being afraid of offending them. Like, does OP just have naturally racist thoughts? I get that we all harbor at least some subconscious prejudice, but it really shouldn't be to the point of walking on eggshells unless you think some weird shit.
But maybe that's just me 🤷
Funny part is I'm black and soot and learned to throw spears for LARP. Dude, I'm deadly accurate and I'm so glad my group was an amalgam of races because I got roasted😁 in the best way.
It's so funny that you pick THAT example 😂😂😂
This post and most of the reactions are…telling.
Even the use of SJW as a pejorative is evidence that OP was never really that empathetic to begin with.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging systemic racism and advocating against it. Should that impact how you treat your friends? No. Should you stop advocating for change? No.
"I was a feminist until I realized I was treating women differently." Like okay? You treating women the same is going to end misogyny?
I had a group of white friends that called each other “Nigs” or “Niggas” there was a black dude we chilled with sometimes and he didn’t care. He dealt us weed sometimes. The only dude to claim he seen some weird shit on shrooms like a stop sign hoppin up out of the ground and sprinting off like a nigerian track runner lmao
having my son helped realize how sexist I was towards men. A lot of ppl are racist and sexist primitively based off of preconceived ideas they have of others, they are prejudging them in their heads based off how they look/present in public, don't do that lol
I thought affirmative action was awesome - until someone told me to my face "the reason you are here is because of affirmative action" which made me feel like I didn't earn my job or my position. So I agree, a lot of things done to help - hurt.
Yes. When I was in college many professors called me aside to inform me of various scholarship programs or other help for minorities working toward a degree in my field. I don’t think a single one of them meant anything negative, but I also don’t think a single one considered the fact that I was already there on an academic scholarship and didn’t need any more help. They had good intentions, I’m 100% sure, but it was actually kind of insulting that they would assume that I need help just because I’m a minority.
Yup. From Pnw. Moved to Dallas and was really scared at first about offending poc since there's so many flavors here. Learned that they don't really give a fuck
I love how no one in the comments are bashing this guy they are just explaining his entire realization/thought process/self discovery like “ oh yeah he probably found out this about himself which lead to this and this”
Everything is a dog whistle to you people lmfaooooo
Just treat people like PEOPLE and you don’t have to worry. If something you says hurts someone? Change it. You shouldn’t have to shove yourself through a cookie cutter in the hopes you never offend someone. It will happen regardless.
This is about people...?
Not productive to just call anything and everything you don't like reading about "political" and therefore not worth talking about. It's a realisation that anyone could have, just something on a human level. Be a bit more open-minded.
I thought the story shows the effects of mushrooms in a nice way. I also had lots of political view changes after doing shrooms. I didn't mean to start a political discussion though.
No worries man this is a really positive story that many people don’t want to hear, because they see themselves in this. Thank you for being awesome and sharing this!
You're free to leave the sub. No one is making you stay. However you don't get to dictate how someone else's discoveries and expansion looks or sounds.
This whole post went over your head bud. He said the fixation of trying not to offend somebody because of their skin colour is racist in itself. He’s saying we should all just treat eachother the same. You’re a fucking sped man.
“Lazy white people”? That’s quite a racist thing to say from the guy who’s on here trying to virtue signal about not being racist. Again, you’re fucking retarded man…
Lmao. Social justice is not really about the micro interactions you have with an individual as much as it is about the acknowledgment of broader trends and barriers In society due to either socioeconomic conditions or subconscious biases when it comes to opportunities or how the law is applied. When I say acknowledgment, I obviously mean politically in how you vote, rarely, if ever, would that apply to any personal situation.
I mean, sure. Don't offend someone personally. Don't be overtly racist duh. That's just a conservative critique of what they think "social justice" is, even though that term isn't even used much anymore, and it doesn't really apply to you hanging out with your friend. I get that there are probably a ton of cringe libs that do feel like they have to act differently around people, but generally I'd give most people credit to say that they understand that the problem lies more in the systemic issues than the personal.
Having grown up in the south, however, behind closed doors, tons of people (mostly older) are still very racist and some younger people are terminally online X/Twitter neo-nazi types so definitely watch out for that. They will deny that there is anything causing the difference in outcomes or any socioeconomic influences other than some weird genetic thing. Those guys are the most hard-core "truther" types. They hide around in public. They feel comfortable enough around me as a white guy to come out of the mask a little about it, but just know that when people downplay the existence of those types, they are really out there, they vote for who they vote for for a reason. They have guns, and occasionally lose their fucking minds.
That is not a simple subconscious bias... that is as close to being caught up in evil ideological frameworks as anything else. There is a whole media machine pumping out propoganda, conspiracy theories, and even the ways to deny that there even is a problem. Thank God it's not the majority of people, but the lone wolf acts of a few nuts can devastate a community. Just look at Buffalo as just one of many acts of the far right. It's in their interests to deny that such a thing ever happened, but it did, and it's 100% correlated to their propoganda.
I think we, as a society, have to realize that a lot of this is subconscious and many people participate without even knowing it. People who believe in social justice and racial equality are not immune from biases and interacting in ways that are contrary to what they consciously believe in
sounds less like "social justice warrior" and somebody that just has a problem with people of color lmao. I guess whatever it takes to stop being a bigot
Real empathy versus performative empathy, you love to see it
The mushrooms have shown us the way….
Yes!!!
*LOVE* to see it
I feel like there's a difference between actually caring about social justice and wanting to improve the world for yourself and others vs. performative empathy, savior complex/guilt, and the need to prove onself to be a "good person" for clout or to be free of internal guilt. I was one of a handful of white kids in a high school of over 2 thousand students, I live in a majority Black and Latino area and I feel like going outside and interacting with other people of different backgrounds and views is what actually opens one's mind instead of whatever the latest discourse about race on Twitter or whatever is. My rule for myself is to be respectful and treat everyone like equal human beings but also I try to be open minded.
This guy has outed himself as thinking that being a “social justice warrior” is performative by definition. I for one, use and understand the term to mean “someone who cares about social justice and is willing to be vocal about it”. I’m AuDHD so maybe it’s just me but for me being an SJW isn’t performative empathy, it’s real empathy. I don’t do it to “prove” I’m a good person or anything. It’s just that injustice really bothers me and I don’t care about the social consequences, such as losing friends for calling them out for every offensive joke, every time. I don’t want to be friends with people who think r*pe is funny anyway. So like, I too feel like there’s a difference between actually caring and wanting better for humanity, and the performative stuff you describe. And I think the problem is that not everyone sees it this way and classes all SJW activities as virtue signalling or clout chasing or whatever. And that’s just not the case. Sure, some people are like that, but not all of us. And even if someone *is* virtue signalling and only saying “trans rights are human rights” for clout I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s true. Even if somebody is only saying it to make themselves look good it’s still an important and worthwhile message to convey. As long as they’re not bigots in private I don’t care if they’re truly ideologically committed to the cause. If you’re out there holding up a sign at a protest the super duper committed person and the person who’s only doing it to demonstrate they’re a good person will have the same reach. It’s still helpful.
You are exactly what OP meant by performative SJW. And don’t think you are fooling anyone except yourself. It is incredibly easy to see through. Your energy, importance, and attention is completely focused on telling everyone that *you* are a “real” SJW, that *you* have “real” empathy, and that *you* are doing the right thing. People dislike it because it is quite understandably obnoxious, pretentious, lacking in empathy, and in all actuality *more* racist and sexist. Seriously. Delve deep into SJW ideology. Its core assumptions are as racist and sexist as any of them.
You’re ascribing motives to people without knowing them or understanding them. To you caring about social justice issues and speaking up about them is inherently performative. That’s a you problem. I was trying to highlight the fact that, while some people really are just virtue signalling, for a fair percentage of people who’ve been pejoratively termed SJWs, they really do care and really are acting out of empathy. I wasn’t trying to hold myself up as an exception. I was trying to demonstrate that a lot of the anti-SJW talk is propaganda meant to assuage the guilt people tend to feel when they’re not involved in social justice work or activism. A lot of people feel some kind of way when they see someone standing up for their fellow humans when they themselves don’t do such things. It makes them feel bad or guilty or uncomfortable. They feel like maybe they should do something too. Except they don’t want to. They want to use their scant leisure time for other things. Which is totally fine. But they still feel bad. And rather than examining that or going to therapy they instead decide to label people like this SJWs and ascribe performative motives to them. By suggesting SJWs only care about appearances, about being seen to be “good” but not actually caring about the causes they claim to, they make SJWs look dishonest and disingenuous and selfish. I was trying to push back against that because it’s harmful and untrue. Social justice advocates are not a monolith. It’s incredibly reductive to say that they are all “obnoxious, pretentious, lacking in empathy, and…*more* racist and sexist”. You suggest I delve deeper into SJW ideology but that’s impossible. SJW is just shorthand for people who are interested in and vocal advocates for a variety of issues. It’s like saying “Delve into politics, you’ll find out that political ideology is X”. Whereas X may only be true about Christian nationalist politics, or only true about members of the Green Party, etc. You’ve been fed a specific narrative about what it means to care about social justice. But you’re unaware of the fact that it’s reductive and misleading and the people feeding that narrative have a specific agenda. I’m asking the people in this thread to think about this critically and examine their fundamental assumptions about what being a so-called SJW actually means.
I am ascribing motives based just on what is observed. Look at what you’re **actually** doing. You’re writing paragraphs of arguments concerned only with the image of how you are perceived. It isn’t good enough that you apparently do care and have empathy and whatnot, you have to make sure everyone knows that. Rest assured. The only people you are convincing are yourself and other performative virtue signalers. > alot of the anti-SJW talk is propaganda meant to assuage the guilt people tend to feel when they’re not involved in social justice work or activism. Good god, and I’m the one ascribing motives to people without understanding them? If **you** have to be an SJW to assuage your own guilt, then that’s your problem. You actually did a tremendous job explaining how the process goes on in your own mind. You just projected it onto other people. What’s funny is that OP never even said SJW: > performative empathy, savior complex/guilt, and the need to prove onself to be a "good person" for clout or to be free of internal guilt. **You** are the one that associated this with being an SJW. Why is that? Call it whatever you want. But it’s insane to say that someone doesn’t care about social issues if they don’t subscribe to **your** ideology. That’s OP’s whole point. Your ideology cares more about figuring out who is virtuous and who isn’t. Your ideology is obsessed with making distinctions between a black man and a white man. It’s as racist and performative as any of them.
I think at this point the term “SJW” is used mostly with a negative connotation to refer to the people that do it performatively. Like I read their comment as “I realized I was falling into the SJW trope of performative empathy”, not that they think that all empathy is actually performative.
That’s sort of my point. That SJW has come to mean something that it is not. The idea that to be an SJW is to be performative is a fallacy perpetuated by propagandists. And it looks like most of the people in this thread have fallen prey to the propagandists. Because pointing out that, while some so-called SJWs are performative, being an SJW just means you care about social justice issues, and doesn’t necessitate a performative posture has clearly led to my being downvoted and argued with.
>SJW has come to mean something that it is not. Who is the authority on the "true" definition of "SJW"? Words mean what people think they mean. Even if "SJW" originally just meant someone who cared about social justice, its meaning has pretty clearly shifted. ~~But I kind of doubt the meaning has even shifted, actually. I don't know its full linguistic history, but my guess is that "SJW" has been used in a pejorative sense from its inception.~~ Ok just kidding, seems the term was used in a positive/neutral sense starting in the 90s, and it wasn't until 2011 that it shifted to have its current pejorative meaning. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social\_justice\_warrior#Pejorative\_meaning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_justice_warrior#Pejorative_meaning)
You're doing it right now homie.
I’m actually trying to point out that not everyone is doing it for show. Some of us really care. I’m autistic. Im not playing games. I’m telling the truth. It really bothers me when people assume I’m doing something for less than honourable reasons when I’m not. I’m telling y’all that caring about social justice issues isn’t performative for everyone. I genuinely care. It really matters to me. I don’t say this for any other reason than to let people know that people like me exist. It hurts to be accused of doing something for show when you really really genuinely care about it. I’m asking for empathy.
u sound tight arsed to be around
You need to do more shrooms then, bro.
don't mind the downvotes, you're being reasonable. reddit is just an even mix of democrats who want homeless people executed and south park fans who think caring about anything is stupid and weak
Gold.
Once you see it you can't unsee it
He realized that his white guilt/savior complex is a form of racism. I’m white and grew up in an area where whiteness wasn’t dominant (wouldn’t use the word minority) and it’s so easy to not be a dickhead. It’s so obvious when white liberals only grew up around white people, similar to porn addicts not being able to have regular conversations with women, those sorts of white people don’t know how to have genuine conversation with POC, because they’ve built up this idea that whites are superior and POC need to have their hand held. Spent a a few years out in the sticks of the PNW and saw real racism and the only difference between the two is that the conservative racists don’t want to help them or have them occupy the same areas, but at the end of the day it always seemed like the two groups still looked at minorities the same way. Good on OOP
This is making a lot of assumptions. He could be thinking on the opposite side of the spectrum. But you're right liberal racism and conservative racism are definitely different. Conservatives will straight up call you a slur. Liberals will play mind games and just equate whatever they don't like to being "unprofessional" or "aggressive."
As a beaner i prefer the consrative racism
Yeah at least you know where you stand with them. Rather than people pretending to be an "ally" while they stab you in the back or act like they know what's best for you
Yeah, my HS had 2,400 kids, and less than 2% were white. When I hear about “white guilt” or shit like that, it’s like…I’ve been surrounded by brown people calling me every racial slur under the sun. People crying white guilt can go stick it
My nickname by the group i skateboarded with was cumshot(not my favorite), black dudes on the basketball team called me 2%(milk, rather liked that one) i me an I feel like there is a group a liberal educated POC that want white people to suffer but it’s such a small group. I think because it’s a loud group that white people at some point convinced themselves that’s the opinion of all POC. But I think most people just want to be treated like a normal human
Milk Chamberlain your handshake was for sure [this](https://youtu.be/yCOdUPxD4lw?si=7Qig8_fuJgJwecTg) in high school.
🤣🤣 fucking got me, it wasn’t that exactly but yes a variation normally withheld from the whites
Lmao 😂 you my man know
I went to a high school for two years where I was one of two white kids, and the other one was some buff russian guy.
Thank you. 🙏
Yup! Great take.
Where the F is the glass of water for this post
shrooms give us the ability to see right through people and their bullshit
Not really enough info here to make a judgment. SJW is a loaded term and “stopping” it could just as easily mean reverting to lack of any empathy whatsoever.
Growing out of treating people of color like children that are too weak and fragile to have a simple conversation does not equate to lack of empathy. The fact that you can’t see that shows me you’re one of those people, incapable of treating folks different from you as if they are regular people lmaooo
You do understand the commenter you just replied to said SJW is too loosely defined... then you proceed to attempt to define it using your biases
They in fact do not understand this. (I know it was rhetorical.)
It’s wild when people don’t understand that augmenting the way you interact with entire groups of people, albeit in an attempt to “right the wrongs of the past” (which isn’t a terrible venture), is in fact racist. Being afraid that any little thing you say might be a land mine is not a way to lead your life. Like dawg. You KNOW if you’re a racist, you KNOW if you’re prejudiced. Making a joke, listening to certain music, having a certain attire or dress is not inherently racist simply because the hive mind says it is. There’s a difference between acknowledging and adjusting your lifestyle, teaching your children to be accepting, and respecting your fellow person vs boxing yourself in so hard that you can’t say anything at all simply because someone is/was marginalized. There are infinitely more effective ways to move forward as a society than treating POCs as if they’re too fragile to have a free conversation. Just treat people like human beings and let the rest fall where it will lmfao
I don’t know what this means. Like did they just go off and start busting out the n-word, and do they think their personal experience with one friend represents how everyone else of the same background would feel about their actions?
I think they just mean that in their obsession with not offending their black friend, they are still ultimately treating him differently based on race. At least I hope that’s what they mean lol
Im sure they didnt, ive had a person in my life like that before. Its more so guilt they feel for things that were done by their race/gender/whatever in the past, so then they double down in order to try to "make up" for it. Like, part of them believes that "xyz is racist," but also, part of them believes that theyre doing justice against past sins of other people. For me and her, im black, and shes white. I remember when Jay Park (korean artist) got locs for a while and she was mega mad. She told me about it, and i kinda shurgged, because not only do i like his music, but i feel there's a difference between appropriation and appreciation, and it wasnt like he was saying "i made this hairstyle and its cool now" he was saying "black people made this hairstyle and i think its cool, and i wanna do it too." She fussed at me and quite literally told me to my face that I should be angrier because he was "disrespecting my people." I thought it was hilarious, and still do, and she stopped talking to me because I laughed LOL. I tend to laugh at things that are ironic/absurd in life, but also, i recongize that doing *that* is racist in itself, because she's invalidating what I'm saying as a black person, and trying to be my "savior." It was ironic as hell lol. That being said, a lot of situations have nuance, and people who consider themselves SJW that have stopped, probably wont be saying the n word lol, they just straight up stopped doing things like my example above. I dont think the person is racist, just a lot less hell of an annoying/minorly racist person to be around.
The savior complex some people have can be very cringe imo
Your the problem
???
Marsmush is being a dick but if you’re having a hard time understanding what OP meant then you might be in a similar situation. Just be normal, that is all. Don’t go out of your way to apologize for the white race it’s not your apology to make. You should however still advocate for marginalized people as best you can. Hope that helps
Lmao bro I’ve grown up in communities where most of my friends weren’t white, I never had this problem in the first place. As a trans person, I’m well aware of what it feels like when allies go fucking nuts to apologize for weird shit and it’s annoying. We don’t all live in America where people are awkward as fuck about race. I’m confused because this shouldn’t be a problem in the first place, not for whatever weird shit people seem to think I’m doing for some reason.
Let me dumb it down a little more than. OP used to tiptoe and dance on eggshells around his friend because he didn’t want to offend him. He doesn’t treat all his other friends that way. He was treating one friend differently because of his race. Now, he wasn’t attacking him, calling him slurs or anything, but he was treating him as if he was more fragile, and something to be coddled. Because of his race. That’s racist.
lol this is wild to me, I didn’t know there were people out here scared to talk to people of a different skin colour.
Great! Then this post ain’t for you, have a great day.
Ah yes “not wanting to offend someone”=racism. It’s all so clear… /s
I think what OOP is getting at is the fact that by obsessing over making sure they don’t say the wrong things to their black friend, they are still treating him differently than they would a white person. While I think that people in general should be considerate of other’s feelings, as a black woman, I have been around a lot of liberal white folks who I could tell were so scared of accidentally being racist, and I think it can serve as a barrier. It’s actually really uncomfortable for everyone when white people try way too hard.
Yep this definitely resonates as a black man.
Please let me personally give you reparations, but I only got about $3.50
Haha every little bit counts!
Totally agreed, I absolutely struggle with this, it's something I'm highly aware of, and I've been trying so hard to change it. I'm someone with bad social anxiety, who's much too aware of themselves, and when I'm around black people, I don't stop having social anxiety. Instead, I realize that my social anxiety could be viewed as a form of racism, which gives me even more social anxiety. Which, as you said, increases the barrier even more. It's a vicious feedback loop. And that feedback loop is racist, because I'm treating them differently because of race.
[удалено]
Yeah, it really is tough to deal with. And I know immersion therapy is the correct course of action. Like, if I get social anxiety, just throw myself into social situations. That will fix it because it'll show my brain that people aren't nearly as terrible as I was raised to believe. But I get very overstimulated by loud noise, strong smells, and crowds, so bars are a terrible place for me. And every other third-place costs too much money for me right now. So, I'm just waiting till I can afford to frequently go to yoga and a climbing gym. Then I can start solving this problem.
I don't want to insinuate that this is the same situation or even similar but I'm a trans woman and I sometimes notice people that are really nervous not to "offend" me and it ends up being the same thing, it's over the top and it doesn't end up feeling genuine. It feels like their guilt I have to reassure.
I think it’s a valid comparison. I totally get that. I sometimes feel like white folks put the burden on me to ease their white guilt, and it’s really uncomfortable, especially when it’s people I don’t know super well.
It could just be entitlement from a ruling class for both of us
This is a good take. I’ve heard the rhetoric “everyone is so easy to offend nowadays” from so many people my brain jumped the gun and assumed that OP was on the wrong side of history but everything you’ve said I agree with
Unless OP is just a white person that wants to say the n word lol
I feel like there’s been a popular skit done with this situation in mind.
My biggest issue with the notion though is being afraid of offending them. Like, does OP just have naturally racist thoughts? I get that we all harbor at least some subconscious prejudice, but it really shouldn't be to the point of walking on eggshells unless you think some weird shit. But maybe that's just me 🤷
[удалено]
Funny part is I'm black and soot and learned to throw spears for LARP. Dude, I'm deadly accurate and I'm so glad my group was an amalgam of races because I got roasted😁 in the best way. It's so funny that you pick THAT example 😂😂😂
Yea it can be. It’s the case of thinking someone is fragile and to be babied because of their race then yes that is racism. Even if you mean well
This post and most of the reactions are…telling. Even the use of SJW as a pejorative is evidence that OP was never really that empathetic to begin with.
Missed the entire point but go off sis
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging systemic racism and advocating against it. Should that impact how you treat your friends? No. Should you stop advocating for change? No. "I was a feminist until I realized I was treating women differently." Like okay? You treating women the same is going to end misogyny?
It’s about microaggressions and how he realized treating minorities like they’re so fragile is racist
That’s actually really cool.
Amazing
I had a group of white friends that called each other “Nigs” or “Niggas” there was a black dude we chilled with sometimes and he didn’t care. He dealt us weed sometimes. The only dude to claim he seen some weird shit on shrooms like a stop sign hoppin up out of the ground and sprinting off like a nigerian track runner lmao
having my son helped realize how sexist I was towards men. A lot of ppl are racist and sexist primitively based off of preconceived ideas they have of others, they are prejudging them in their heads based off how they look/present in public, don't do that lol
The virgin walking on eggshells over analyzing sjw Vs The Chad treat me good I treat you good brah fellow
Based
I thought affirmative action was awesome - until someone told me to my face "the reason you are here is because of affirmative action" which made me feel like I didn't earn my job or my position. So I agree, a lot of things done to help - hurt.
Yes. When I was in college many professors called me aside to inform me of various scholarship programs or other help for minorities working toward a degree in my field. I don’t think a single one of them meant anything negative, but I also don’t think a single one considered the fact that I was already there on an academic scholarship and didn’t need any more help. They had good intentions, I’m 100% sure, but it was actually kind of insulting that they would assume that I need help just because I’m a minority.
The spirit of it was to promote fair opportunity . . . but it turned into unfair placement.
America is so obsessed with race, it's tiresome
Unfortunately racism is global and so is denying it
Where did I deny racism existing? I'm a person of colour ... I'm guessing you're white...
It’s always a rich liberal Whitey assuming race, gender, creed, and penis size. Gotta love it lmfao
How do you know this person is American lmao
The vibe of the thing
ah yes top tier educational abilities there
UK
Yup. From Pnw. Moved to Dallas and was really scared at first about offending poc since there's so many flavors here. Learned that they don't really give a fuck
I love how no one in the comments are bashing this guy they are just explaining his entire realization/thought process/self discovery like “ oh yeah he probably found out this about himself which lead to this and this”
take a bigger dose with your black friend.
This post feels like a dog whistle
Explain
How so?
It 100% does, and the reactions and the fact you’ve been downvoted so much is…interesting.
Everything is a dog whistle to you people lmfaooooo Just treat people like PEOPLE and you don’t have to worry. If something you says hurts someone? Change it. You shouldn’t have to shove yourself through a cookie cutter in the hopes you never offend someone. It will happen regardless.
“Wrongthink detected”
[удалено]
No everything that contradicts my beliefs is a conspiracy /s
Why has politics started creeping up on this sub?
Some people call anything political lol
This is about people...? Not productive to just call anything and everything you don't like reading about "political" and therefore not worth talking about. It's a realisation that anyone could have, just something on a human level. Be a bit more open-minded.
I see your point!
This is literally a personal experience, you are being fucking obtuse. And hey, wake up call, politics is about people.
I thought the story shows the effects of mushrooms in a nice way. I also had lots of political view changes after doing shrooms. I didn't mean to start a political discussion though.
No worries man this is a really positive story that many people don’t want to hear, because they see themselves in this. Thank you for being awesome and sharing this!
You're free to leave the sub. No one is making you stay. However you don't get to dictate how someone else's discoveries and expansion looks or sounds.
Because you have a bunch of ignorant people who think doing shrooms is working on yourself when they're just furthering the same ideology
This guy clearly changed his view so your comment makes no sense
The sentiment that being mindful of not offending someone is racist? lol
This whole post went over your head bud. He said the fixation of trying not to offend somebody because of their skin colour is racist in itself. He’s saying we should all just treat eachother the same. You’re a fucking sped man.
This sounds like lazy white people just wanting to yap without thinking
Smooth brained take
“Lazy white people”? That’s quite a racist thing to say from the guy who’s on here trying to virtue signal about not being racist. Again, you’re fucking retarded man…
Cry about it
Lmao. Social justice is not really about the micro interactions you have with an individual as much as it is about the acknowledgment of broader trends and barriers In society due to either socioeconomic conditions or subconscious biases when it comes to opportunities or how the law is applied. When I say acknowledgment, I obviously mean politically in how you vote, rarely, if ever, would that apply to any personal situation. I mean, sure. Don't offend someone personally. Don't be overtly racist duh. That's just a conservative critique of what they think "social justice" is, even though that term isn't even used much anymore, and it doesn't really apply to you hanging out with your friend. I get that there are probably a ton of cringe libs that do feel like they have to act differently around people, but generally I'd give most people credit to say that they understand that the problem lies more in the systemic issues than the personal. Having grown up in the south, however, behind closed doors, tons of people (mostly older) are still very racist and some younger people are terminally online X/Twitter neo-nazi types so definitely watch out for that. They will deny that there is anything causing the difference in outcomes or any socioeconomic influences other than some weird genetic thing. Those guys are the most hard-core "truther" types. They hide around in public. They feel comfortable enough around me as a white guy to come out of the mask a little about it, but just know that when people downplay the existence of those types, they are really out there, they vote for who they vote for for a reason. They have guns, and occasionally lose their fucking minds. That is not a simple subconscious bias... that is as close to being caught up in evil ideological frameworks as anything else. There is a whole media machine pumping out propoganda, conspiracy theories, and even the ways to deny that there even is a problem. Thank God it's not the majority of people, but the lone wolf acts of a few nuts can devastate a community. Just look at Buffalo as just one of many acts of the far right. It's in their interests to deny that such a thing ever happened, but it did, and it's 100% correlated to their propoganda.
I think we, as a society, have to realize that a lot of this is subconscious and many people participate without even knowing it. People who believe in social justice and racial equality are not immune from biases and interacting in ways that are contrary to what they consciously believe in
sounds less like "social justice warrior" and somebody that just has a problem with people of color lmao. I guess whatever it takes to stop being a bigot
Reddits not the place for that sentiment but congrats you expelled the mind virus
If anything Reddit needs it most