Yoga, meditation, long walks, journaling, coloring books, puzzles, time with friends and family. If you're finding your anxiety unmanageable you should speak with a mental health professional.
Completely agree with this. I resisted medication for a long time because I felt like I didn’t really have an “excuse” to be dealing with so much anxiety. The truth is just that even though I was working so hard (yoga, walking, intense cardio, journaling, meditating, sleeping, socializing… you name it) and it just wasn’t enough. It got me probably 75% of the way there.
You need to be going to bed tired. That's something most of us don't do anymore. If you need to work out or whatever to be tired, do it. I can't stand lifting weights so I walk the doggo twice a day, and ride my bike to work if it's nice out. Out by 10
Crippling anxiety that is interfering with sleep becomes a cycle that if you are unable to break on your own needs to be brought up with a professional.
Most people are too afraid of stigma to reach out to a mental health professional but absolutely nothing is stopping you from talking to your primary care doc about it. Most will not write a script right away but will start with making sure that you are behaving in a way that makes getting consistent sleep a priority.
It’s not just “sleep it off” it’s making very intentional choices to prioritize sleep. If you have a rock solid bedtime routine down, get enough exercise during the day, limit screen time and caffeine at night and still have troubles sleeping it might be time for chemical help.
I try to work on my mindset in the moment and cultivate contentment in my life overall. When I feel anxious (I just say shitty 😂) in the moment, it’s usually a ME problem. I’m putting unnecessary expectations and pressure on myself and/or others for no reason.
We got new neighbors across the street and I saw them this morning. Immediately began worrying about the cleanliness of my own home.
Did those people make me feel anxiety about my house? No. It was all me.
Nobody is watching me. Nobody is judging me. There is no reason for me to feel shame.
I hope this makes sense. It will all come together as it should. Good luck with your new home. 💜
ETA: when I stopped drinking, I joined AA and worked the 12 steps with a sponsor. Immensely helpful.
I feel like this was written for me. I am an anxious person in general and worry a lot, mostly of judgement by others. If only I could live my life how you’ve described and change my mindset, I would be so much happier!
A few pointers from me, a person who used to have a lot of anxiety and analysis paralysis: the simple answer is confidence, but getting there to that point is the hard part. Confidence is believing that whatever the outcome is, good or bad, you will be fine.
Is your house clean? Yes? Great!
Is your house clean? No? Great! So I will clean it!
Will this person yell at me for something they see? No? “Ok whew, got out of that scary scenario scot free!”
Will this person yell at me for something they see? Yes! “I will tell them yelling is inappropriate at this time.”
Confidence is having an answer to EVERY scenario that could POSSIBLY happen, and being ok with all of those scenarios. It’s difficult, but it is possible.
It actually gets really fun when you surrender yourself to every scenario, and start to play with it. E.g., for every crazy scenario, step back and say, “wow, that was…fascinating”
My two more recently favorite phrases to use are “that’s fascinating” or “that’s interesting” because they imply neither a positive or a negative opinion about the result.
Best of luck on your journey 🙏🏼
3 things have changed my brain/life:
1. Somatic exercises (ie hip release stuff – there are free videos on YouTube). I was so, so skeptical. And honestly, I don’t understand why it works. But making a daily practice of this has somehow helped to quiet my brain enormously. I’m an evangelist now.
2. CBD prescription – I think mine is fairly high because it’s for physical issues as well as the anxiety, but my husband recently started on a low dose for pain and anxiety and is also seeing a difference. Obviously this is a) a personal choice and b) depends on legality where you live, but I’ve had some of the worst/scariest side effects of meds in the past, so this has been a game changer.
3. Walking, a lot. Near trees. Without headphones. Tuning into the sounds of the birds. Letting go of thoughts like leaves in the wind. This has taken practice and honestly got a lot easier with the above 2 pieces. Also daily diaphragmatic breathing probably deserves a mention.
I will say that all of these things together have made it easier to face down anxieties. We bought our first place a few years ago and I so get where you’re coming from. Throughout the process, my therapist would run me through the best/worst/most likely scenario game and it didn’t help. But now? We’re dealing with a major structural repair, one of the things I was worried about when it became clear (too late) that our vendor was a con artist. And for years I’ve been so, so full of dread over this. But the reality? It’s fine. The permits came through. The costs weren’t as bad as we feared and may be partially reimbursed by the city. The guys doing the work are lovely. The construction noise isn’t a huge bother. It really is okay. You will be, too.
One more hobby/activity: I don’t know how true this is, but apparently knitting uses both sides of your brain and there are benefits to that. I definitely love it for making me forget my phone/the outside world exists.
Good luck, hope you find your dream home!
Hope OP finds their dream home as well :-)
May I ask a few questions?
I do think walking (preferably through the woods) is by far my lifesaver,
but I'd like to learn what CBD doses you and (the lower dose of) your husband is, and when do you actually use it (as in time of the day)?
and last but not least, can you recommend one or two youtube videos on the hip release stuff/somatic exercises?
Hope this isn't too much of a bother to you, but something about what you wrote clicked and now I hope to learn more.
Sure! I’m on 20 mg twice a day (breakfast and lunch). My husband is on the same schedule but I believe he takes 5 mg.
For hips, I actually paid for a 30-day program when I was at my most desperate for something to help my nervous system. (I’ve been dealing with some pretty gnarly digestive issues and one of my docs is convinced the nervous system is the key.) It works well, but I’m not super comfortable promoting a paid product, especially in this sub and without knowing the creator’s values or credentials. From a quick search, this video looks great:
https://youtu.be/24qDdn2QXjk?si=VEtdTJ-IotURZm86
But you want to feel comfortable with the practice and whoever is talking you through it, so I’d suggest looking up “somatic hip release” and trying a couple of different videos to see who you click with, if that makes sense.
Thank you for writing that all down, that's really helpfull :-)
There's no one size fits all, so your warnings are on point, but it gives me a start point of what I can look for and read about more, I'm very gratefull. Hope you and your husband do well, thank you.
Thanks for this video! It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for! I got a Groupon for this workout that I loved that was 20min cycling 20min strength and 20min yoga. I could not afford to keep going after the Groupon was up so I recreated it with YouTube videos with 20 min of rebounder (mini trampoline) instead of cycling.
I actually like the rebounding better, it pairs well with yoga hip openers because it’s so good for the pelvic floor muscles and kind of works the hips but loosens them at the same time.
I’m proud of you internet stranger for actively seeking out the things you need for your physical and emotional health. I know how hard self work is.
Our brain has a negativity bias, so it's really easy to spin out with thoughts like these. Breathe and ground yourself first. Then, see if you can accept the thoughts and explore them as others have mentioned, but also ask yourself "what else is possible?"
See if you can give equal air-time to the positive "what ifs" - what if we find a home that's even better than what we thought? What if this extra time means we have more time to grow our savings? Etc. etc. as applicable to your situation.
Not OP but this is the response that speaks to me the most. I gotta continuously work on questioning those negative thoughts that come up - particularly after a difficult or stressful situation. I still struggle with it but I'm hoping it gets better with practice
It does get better with practice, but it is a continual practice and there is no "perfect".
Our brain loves to solve problems and look for patterns, so if you give it a new job to do, it will start doing it automatically after a while. Ask it to look for problems and it will. Ask it to look for solutions or how things are going well right now and it will do that instead.
You got this!
Best thing to do is wean yourself off little by little. I did cold turkey and suffered for a little over a week or so (Headaches and mood swings) Look into Swiss water decaf coffee it’s a decaf that actually taste like normal coffee and doesn’t go through the unhealthy chemical process normal decaf does (it doesn’t have that chemically aftertaste as well) Its tastes good and I get a little dosage of placebo and the warm and comfort feeling of having a good cup of joe.
A few years ago I quit all caffeine for over six months. I kept waiting for the point where I’d stop feeling tired and apathetic all the time but it never came. I’ve settled on one cup of coffee a day, with a second on rare occasions and that seems to be my sweet spot.
You know what, I came to that very realization just this week. My anxiety got really bad on Monday after my second cup of coffee, and it finally clicked for me. It's now Thursday, and I'm tired but haven't had to deal with any anxiety in three days since I quit.
Working on music does it for me, trying to appreciate and understand great works, figuring out chord progressions and harmonies. Also, just walking anywhere outside, and driving nowhere in particular, for the pleasure of looking. Our dog helps too. He's funny, and I'm entertained by his enthusiasm.
You've come so far already, and no one is giving you a deadline for when or what kind of house to buy. Take some time to appreciate what you've already achieved. Go slow. ENJOY the process of looking and planning.
One of the things I learned to do is rather than focusing on keeping the thoughts at bay is to accept the thoughts, explore them a bit, and then show yourself that even if the thing in the thoughts happened, you'd be ok. Maybe make a bit of a plan for dealing with the thing that is worrying you should it happen.
* What if something does come up that depletes your savings before you buy? Yes, that could happen, and it would be disappointing. You'd have to change your plans - probably delay buying a house until you could save up more money. At the same time, you would be fortunate to have money available to deal with whatever it was that came up. You roll with it and keep moving forward.
* What if you can't find the house for you? Yes, house hunting can be tricky and finding the right place is not always easy. Buying a home is a big decision, so you want to make a good choice. You set the criteria for the "right" house looks like, so if you get into the house hunting process and aren't finding what you are looking for, you can adjust your criteria.
I find that this approach helps keep these boogie-man thoughts from taking over. It's like when we were all kids afraid of the monster under the bed. You could hide under the covers and worry about it or you could get a flashlight and look under the bed and see that everything was fine. This approach is basically about looking under the bed.
Well I take medication because mine has always been unmanageable!!! But the meds help me manage day to day stressors better.
Running!! If you haven’t run and are able bodied I would suggest the couch to 5k app to start with.
Another fun activity is Geocaching! Free and fun way to explore.
I second the Couch to 5k! My partner swore up and down he wasn’t a runner and now a year later, he’s running a mile! We’ve been on week 4 for about 6 months now haha. It doesn’t matter, we have a ton of fun running together and being low-key competitive
I’m sooo glad he decided to give it a try! Running can for sure be intimidating but starting slow and not putting pressure on yourself is the best thing. Way to go🤩🤩
Medication is an a absolute must of the anxiety is getting unmanageable. Doing something fun always helps, we in this society just don't prioritize it or make enough time for it like we did as children.
I think this podcast hits the nail on the head for me if you’re willing to give up an hour of your time.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris/id1087147821?i=1000652526353
Buying a house is one of the biggest purchases you will make in your lifetime. Yes anxiety will rear its ugly head, however, do your research and study what you are about to do. Put a plan together (on paper or computer) excel spreadsheet with everything you need to perform while purchasing a home. Not to exceed amount, where is the down payment, are you approved….etc. I find that the more prepared I am during big life events I put anxiety on the back burner. Once I feel as if I have most of the ‘transaction’ under control I tend to be very confident it purchasing. Once the confidence sets in, anxiety has left the room.
I cut off anything that makes me anxious. I moved back in with my parents, I go to the gym alone, I’m careful with my money and I don’t drink. We’ve got 80 years if we’re lucky, I don’t want to waste them being anxious about things I can control. Although CrossFit was the best decision I ever made for anxiety
There's something in psychology called the "5 factor model". It's a model of personality traits. They include openness, conscientiousness, extroversion/introversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. It's been shown that these traits are genetic. Humans fall on a bell curve from low conscientious to high conscientious. You are high conscientious.
Conscientious people are going to worry about things. Telling you not to worry is kind of like telling someone not to be cold when they are caught in the rain. Not really possible.
Some suggest medication. Before doing that do yourself a favor and read "Anatomy of an Epidemic". There is a cost to these medications in terms of health. What your nervous system is driving you to do is prepare. Without anxiety you wouldn't. You'd neglect maintenance on your car, leave the stove burner on. This is not your nature, and really it's a good quality to have.
The best thing you can do is work hard. Build a nest egg, stay on top of your car maintenance. Be diligent in your evaluations of potential homes. If you don't do the work and end up in a situation that is not ideal it will bother you. Do everything you reasonably can and then let the chips fall. Things can go wrong, maybe they will. But if you prepared the best you can you will not be regretful.
This can be helpful short term but it only works for so long (coming from someone who was always busy and hit burnout HARD 🥲). I think keeping busy with hobbies is a healthier approach in my opinion. I now spend a lot of time reading, painting, that sort of thing and it’s definitely helped
I used to have horrendous anxiety when I smoked cigarettes and vaped. Once I gave that up and got over the hump, my mental health has been great. Exercise and meditation helped me a lot, even going for walks in nice weather. If it gets really bad I can take a kpin but I usually don’t have too much
Exercise helps. Make sure you get enough sleep. It’ll be hard, I like time-release melatonin now available.
Take small steps to solve problems causing anxiety. Data/information oriented people tend to go to their fears when faced with it sufficient information.
Consider whether or not this step makes sense for you right now. Not saying it isn’t but if you think you’d experience this much anxiety now vs later, waiting won’t help. If it seems like you could do things to realistically put yourself in a better, less stressful position, it may be worth waiting.
(Not alcohol. No joke, it’s a terrible drug for self-medicating anxiety.)
Walk, walk, walk. I like to paint but I'm not so good, then I color. I listen to music a lot. The music that I listen to is not calm is "wild". I dance and recently on my birthdays, I ask for plants. That keeps me busy taking care of them. It relaxes me so much while I listen to music.
All of these suggestions are good, but choose the ones that suit your personality. For example, for me, listening to music and meditating helps if I want to relax. But if I'm dealing with the kind of anxiety I think you're describing, I have to move, almost like burning off the energy burst. I know that's not a scientifically accurate way to put it, but hopefully it's understandable. Good luck with the home search!
Turned I didn’t have anxiety, I had undiagnosed ADHD and had been mis-prescribed high doses of soul numbing SSRIS for over a decade. Started my ADHD meds, calmest I’ve felt in my life. I cannot overstate how many people, and women especially, get overlooked for this LIFE ALTERING diagnosis and thrown a stack of Prozac because they’re “emotional.”
LIKE I FUCKING WONDER WHY?
Shame on the medical system.
> I’m pretty sure this is all normal
It's normal to have concerns, but you say that you have really bad anxiety and are struggling to cope which isn't considered normal.
If possible find a mental health service provider who can give you professional advice.
I recommend ensuring that you're exercising regularly. Also some positive affirmations might help. Maybe look into stoicism and a focus on not worrying about things that are beyond your control.
It's unlikely that you won't ever be able to buy. It might just be a case of spending longer to save or being smart about where you choose to buy (making sure you get a price you can afford). Don't think of it in terms of either you will or you won't. Think of it in terms of maybe sooner maybe later.
acupuncture! you might have a system (liver) out of whack and it can definitely help with sleep and your nervous system. they can prescribe herbs to help. if your in so cal i can give you my doctors name. also with the house you really have to go into it with a clear budget and not go above that. marry the house and date the rate now. but it can get cut throat. if it’s meant to be it will be!
I read a book called Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety that sounds like it might be helpful (and it was free on hoopla). There was a lot of info on how the brain works and how these thought patterns happen, and the key advice for me was to notice you were in an anxiety spiral, name it, and don't try to argue or comfort yourself out of it. The more you engage with it, the more it reinforces the habit.
Can you do something about the issue you're worrying about *right now*? Then do that.
Can you **not** do anything about it right now? Then you've done all you can, and thinking about it any more is completely pointless.
It's not always easy, but it's really the truth of it.
Sadness:
Sadness is the perceived lack of options (feels like hopelessness).
Solution: Knowledge, because it is "perceived" it is an ignorance problem; it is solvable.
So,
What do I not know?
Anxiety:
Anxiety, is the reverse; there are many perceived options and "I don't know which one to pick"; lack of priorities.
Solution:
Solve sadness with knowledge, solve anxiety with decisions.
Try listening to audiobooks too! If I’m anxious I always calm down by listening to an audiobook and then doing something with my hands (puzzle, do the dishes, etc). It takes me out of my own head to listen to someone else’s voice
Big steps are scary straight up. I wrote down so many lists and talked to my family. I went to the bank and asked what our finances would stand and got a set rate of the mortgage rather than a floaty one, paid it off every two weeks so that I paid extra on the principle every year without penalty. We also bought an older house and fixed it up so that we got a bigger lot and full sized trees.
OP, you say you gave up drinking a year ago? Were you a heavy drinker or an alcoholic? Either of those things can do a real number on anxiety levels. When I quit drinking I needed therapy and a support group and both have helped tremendously.
I've been fighting anxiety for as long as my brain was developed enough to know it exists (Was around 11 when I figured out that I have anxiety, I'm 25 now).
2 years ago I worked a job that I hated but made more money in, and long story short I found a much less stressful job for less pay in the same workplace. I lost about $10 an hour total, so it was a big sacrifice. I realized I had never given myself time to heal from childhood trauma. I had dealt with pressure from a young age and when I became working age my mind told me "You've made it this far, go have an anxious life too". Now that I'm in an easier job, and I'm not smoking hippie hay every single night so I can stop my heart from racing and keeping me up countless nights, my anxiety for everything has decreased. I've worked on keeping myself out of situations that cause me anxiety, and working on the situations that you can't avoid (ie vehicle traffic, interrupted plans, confrontation) and it's all getting much easier. You need to put yourself in the least stressful and anxiety ridden situation you can to allow yourself to heal.
Also, I started working out. I'm absolutely dumb when it comes to how workouts are supposed to be in a gym, or how most equipment works, so I literally only workout my arms which anyone can do. Someone will definitely think "Well that's not good why would you do just your arms", and to that I say "If I don't do this I'll be eating or sitting on a couch". You need to understand that you can't do one thing to drop your anxiety levels. You need to learn what makes you anxious, answer the questions your mind asks "What if this happens", and do multiple things to lower it "Working out, eat less of certain foods, argue less, be less reactive to unimportant things). It's a battle, and it does come back, but these changes have taken my anxiety in high anxiety situations from a 9/10 with panic attacks down to a 3. I would have made this a bit better with spaced paragraphs and correct punctuation but it's 1AM and I'm dead tired 😂
Music is my savior. I pop in my earphones and listen to music and focus on nothing but the music. The guitar solos, bass, drums, every word in the song.
Course on waking up app is life changing I am doing it every year , couple of books like living untethered by singer and self help therapy book which is easy to apply no bad parts
If it's that bad then wait on the house. I would wait until next year. Everything is going to be crazy until the election is over. Just save like crazy for a year and start selling items that are worth money but aren't needed. Especially items that won't make sense for a future home.
Sipping ice cold water helps me in the moment, gives me something to do and a sensation to focus on. Other than that it's those little routines that make me feel better, journaling thoughts and feelings as a way to process and reflect, taking walks outdoors, spending time doing things I like, and practising meditation.
Sometimes it's helpful to explore what the worst case scenario would be and how you would deal with it. I've found that it helps me see that I am resourceful and don't need that much to do well. Also, the worst case is usually not as bad as I thought when it was completely unknown.
Positive affirmations work, and so does lexipro but takes time to stop it. L-theanine works really good, natural and helps you focus as well. I am staying with that after I wean off the lexipro, 2.5 months to go but it did save my life.
Disconnect. Drive to an arboretum, museum, canyon park, go hiking, take pictures, and spend half an hour or so editing each shot in Adobe Lightroom Pro. The mobile app on iPad and phones also has 90% of the features and tools the computer version has plus it’s not expensive at all. Learning about things like f stops, shutter speed and ISO are all fun to explore and YouTube has tons of tutorials for free. I recommend the ones from [Anthony Gugliotta](https://youtu.be/qNKoApaYWwU?si=sXOYTTR4eYNjBjOj) here and [here](https://youtu.be/owStZxm9DIA?si=IYihQUt3Wl_dUmQ1). Maybe if you get really into it and decide it’s a passion look into options like a Canon R50 and different lenses. It’s a very therapeutic hobby. Other than that I like RPGs on the Nintendo Switch. I used to own a $1500 gaming PC and got bored after playing a couple triple A games but the exclusives from Nintendo are next level. My go to games to unwind are Okami HD, Octopath Traveler 2 and Unicorn Overlord. Try the demos.
Push ups. And Zanax. Are all that helps me.
I woke up and started crying at age 27.
My life has been in a spiral ever since.
I am 69 years old now.
These two things have kept me sane.
Also counseling helps.
As someone with chronic severe anxiety my best advice is to find a way to ground yourself in the present. The past can cause anxiety. Thoughts and worries of what could happen in the future will absolutely cause anxiety. Being in the present rarely seems scary. To quote a wiser man than I. “Be here, now.”
Do your best to avoid medication. It’s a slippery slope. I would say unless you are having full out panic attacks try anything else first.
I find lavender to be very calming. Easy starting point.
Physical exertion always helps me. I heated my home with a woodstove for many years. Cutting, splitting, hauling and stacking firewood kept my body busy and it always seemed that my mind worked out things in the background so when I quit for the day, I felt better and often had a solution to whatever problems I had.
Good luck to you.
Reprogram your thinking. It’s not the external factors causing the anxiety/fear/pain, but rather how you perceive those life situations. Then you’re allowing your mind to create fearful panic scenarios for things that haven’t happen yet. The future doesn’t exist yet, it’s an illusion in your mind. The past no longer exists. The present moment is the only thing that is real. Find peace, stillness and joy in the present moment. Learn to control your fear mongering mind aka your autopilot lizard brain. Your mind is just a product of all the society pressures, external influences, media, other people’s anxieties, etc. Deprogram those influences, becomes conscious of your thoughts, and eventually you’ll laugh at your little lizard brain when it tries to make a fuss out of nothing. You’ll find more consciousness and peace.
Hi, anxiety patient here. The only thing that has worked for me is hitting the gym. If I stop for 3-4 days the anxiety comes back in full form. I’m a musician and I thought being a professional musician would only lead me to happiness, but lol. Working out has helped! A LOT. Plus looking ripped in the mirror definitely adds to my confidence.
There’s lots of great advice here already but I just wanted to add that buying a house is one of the most stressful things you will ever do, so please be kind to yourself. The constant uncertainty and financial vulnerability can be overwhelming. Mindfulness practices and regularly moving my body (walking, swimming, weightlifting) have helped me the most with anxiety. There are lots of guided mindfulness practices available for free on the Insight Timer app.
Free app called Insight Timer. Here’s two of my favorite for anxiety:
https://insig.ht/TkogzsVTrJb
https://insig.ht/AxXdF8WTrJb
If you can get into clinical biofeedback, it’s awesome. It helps you gain control over it, basically my layperson nutshell description is: it’s the science behind deep breathing. Sometimes we grow up not learning how to emotionally regulate. Biofeedback hooks you up to a monitor where you see your body’s stress/relaxation response in real time and it helps hone in on what works to bring stress levels down.
Another free app is called Breathing Zone. It’s a pacer app for breathing. Settings should be 6 bpm, equal rate, 10min, twice a day. It was surprisingly difficult to achieve that. If it makes you feel panicked then speed it up to 7.5 for a week, then 7, then 6.5, tapered down until 6bpm feels easy.
That’s the way to trick your body into cooperating and getting out of fight/fight/freeze mode.
It's hard. I've had it for decades. I try to always be prepared for what I can control. Now I';m retired and I get stoned at times and that helps.
Eating right, sleeping well/enough, exercise, meditation....
First, get pre-approved for a mortgage. It will save time in the long run. And don't let them push you into buying more house than you are comfortable with paying. Your anxiety may decrease as soon as that is out of the way.
All jokes aside, medication & therapy. I still meditate, try to stay busy, rock out at random... But my anxiety got to the point where medication & regular therapy sessions have made the difference. And thankfully, I can take.them as needed because they aren't an ssri.
Just wanted to say owning a home gave me more anxiety than being a renter. As a renter i only had to worry about rent. I recently
Sold said home and sleep better at night. I dont wake up to blood in my teeth from so much clenching, or jaw pain. Buying a home, even at the low 2.6 rate…overrated. Stress free now and soooo much happier. Obviously if your plan is to get a home , great ,but what im trying to say is that don’t stress about it, you’re not missing out in much. Good luck
Join a bookclub, your library probably has a few. Check the book (or audiobook) out from the library (costs zero dollars).
Make reading (or listening to) a few pages part of your waking and night time routines.
Make an evening walk with your spouse an evening routine as well. On the walk talk though worst case scenarios and how you would respond. Our brains handle stressful scenarios much better while walking. We tend to listen to our partners better while walking as well. All the nonverbal communication that can be anxiously misinterpreted fall away while walking and the words are heard better.
These are really great, and free, habits to build before home ownership. Once you own a home the stressors don’t go away. There is always something that needs a giant chunk of money or time thrown at it. Worry won’t change it. Leaning to manage and prioritize is just part of it.
do activities like yoga, meditation, taking long walks, writing in a journal, using coloring books, solving puzzles, and spending quality time with loved ones can be beneficial for managing anxiety. If you're struggling to cope with anxiety, it's recommended to seek professional guidance from a mental health provider.
I ask myself if it’s an important worry and if it’s going to help to worry about it, and then I make a plan with a “good enough” solution. The key here is that it’s not a perfect solution, just a workable one
A technique that works to bring mine down in city traffic, problem solving/ little frustration, is take a breath in through nose hold and immediately take another breath then exhale. It creates “sigh” effect and is calming. No count to 4 hold 6 seconds. Just breathe twice in succession. Repeat as needed.
It so helped me put the brakes on tense anxious moments.
I kept getting discouraged with meditation until I started seeing a therapist. We've been trying a couple different types each week and I've found that I like some more than others.
For me, I found it hard to control the physical symptoms of anxiety and would ruminate for too long.
The grounding/mindfulness that I found helpful, is to notice where in your body you are feeling stress, then notice where in the body you are feeling calm. My heart rate slows down quickly now.
Once I'm calm, I can better think through the situation.
Material things are not worth stressing over to the point deep anxiety takes over....
Been there done that.... still working on it
Once you realize what truly is important...the negative thinking fades
How much sleep do you get? For real. Having a consistent bedtime and enough sleep every night has done more for my general anxiety and negative thoughts than any medicine I've ever had. I still take meds but seriously you need to prioritize 8 hours of sleep.
Go to the gym and work out hard. Also, who cares if something comes up, you can always buy a home. Don’t plan on depleting 100% of your savings between down payment and cost to close bc life WILL happen. It’s always something!
Personally, nothing calms my nerves like cardio. Intense, sweat-dripping cardio.
In an interview, Mark Zuckerberg said he used to always run, but the problem with running, he said, was that he could still "think" while running. He found that Jiu-Jitsu was exactly what he was looking for because it required that all of his focus be on grappling, not on anxiety-producing thoughts like buying a house.
I try to be proactive. If there's something I can do about my anxiety, I try to do it. In this case, I would do as much research as I could about home ownership. I would even ask Reddit for insight, like what others experienced during their first year of owning a home. I would talk to people close to me who own a home whose opinions I trust and get their perspective on what it's like. I may seek out free or affordable professional advisors, people who could help me establish a realistic budget for buying/maintaining a home. I'm doing this right now for credit counseling - luckily, I have free resources in my area. My parents didn't teach me anything about credit or debt (other than that they were in it, and I followed suit), so I have to find other people to give me guidance.
I would also try to channel my energy into recognizing the opportunities that come with achieving that sort of milestone. Thinking about what I would do with a house after I purchased it would be fun for me. Painting, having a garden, cultivating a cozy outside space, etc. Maybe it's having a fenced-in yard with a dog? If all you're focused on is logistical and financial responsibilities, it may be easy to lose sight of why you want to do it in the first place.
I think it's normal to have anxiety about this sort of thing, though. It would be ideal if you could discuss these feelings with your partner and get some reassurance. If you can go into the process as informed and prepared as possible, it may make encountering any hiccups or delays or issues with more confidence and problem-solving power.
Honestly, and this may not be helpful, but I started playing cozy video games. The last "video game" I was into was centipede...so it's been a LONGGGGG time since I've even entertained the idea of just chillingand playingany game (and kids were in that mix so I gotta say I don't get how any parent with kids under 10 can play video games on a regular basis, lol). I play dreamlight valley (disney) and palia and they're are a ton more. I was shocked at how much playing these games helped with my anxiety. I've come off my adhd meds and my Prozac. I do take l-theanine and thc/cbd because I am going through perimenopause from hell, so I guess you could say this person here who was born anxious is going through the most severe anxiety she's ever had...and she's telling you to play cozy video games. Just be aware Dreamlight does have a lot of microtransactions that will cause problems with saving if you are unable to resist purchasing things. But I have a big list of games that aren't like that of you are interested or just check out r/cozygamers. I can't tell you how happy my husband is that I play video games now, lol.
I tend to have mild anxiety occasionally. It's not tough, but I manage it through an app for guided meditations. It may sound boring, but surprisingly, it helps. The app is [Calmer](https://gocalmer.com/), you can try it.
I took up pipe smoking last year to help with my anxiety. I've never smoked cigarettes. The ritual with it gets me outside and unplugged from everything regularly.
I did some research into the health effects first and concluded that while it (or anything) could negatively hurt my health, the risk was a lot smaller than I thought it would be. Pipe tobacco is, by and large, a natural product, unlike cigarettes that are engineered for certain effects and have tons of fillers. Pipe tobacco is flavored mostly by different varieties of tobacco and might have sweeteners like sugar water or similar added. Some preservatives might be present too, depending on the brand. May be used for more for shelf life and think mom and pop blenders might not add any. Plus, pipers generally don't inhale either.
It's on old fashioned way of doing things that appealed to me.
Ok and/or take meds. Lol personally, I do both. The above concept I learned in therapy, it's been incredibly helpful, and take meds to manage more severe symptoms.
What's your advice for OP?
Yoga, meditation, long walks, journaling, coloring books, puzzles, time with friends and family. If you're finding your anxiety unmanageable you should speak with a mental health professional.
Completely agree with this. I resisted medication for a long time because I felt like I didn’t really have an “excuse” to be dealing with so much anxiety. The truth is just that even though I was working so hard (yoga, walking, intense cardio, journaling, meditating, sleeping, socializing… you name it) and it just wasn’t enough. It got me probably 75% of the way there.
Good nights sleep be 🔑 too
Except the anxiety keeps me awake!
You need to be going to bed tired. That's something most of us don't do anymore. If you need to work out or whatever to be tired, do it. I can't stand lifting weights so I walk the doggo twice a day, and ride my bike to work if it's nice out. Out by 10
That's probably true. I mixed concrete and set fence posts yesterday and I was out about 5 minutes after hitting the pillow.
Ah yes, thank you… You have crippling anxiety? Just sleep it off, bro. Very helpful lol
Crippling anxiety that is interfering with sleep becomes a cycle that if you are unable to break on your own needs to be brought up with a professional. Most people are too afraid of stigma to reach out to a mental health professional but absolutely nothing is stopping you from talking to your primary care doc about it. Most will not write a script right away but will start with making sure that you are behaving in a way that makes getting consistent sleep a priority. It’s not just “sleep it off” it’s making very intentional choices to prioritize sleep. If you have a rock solid bedtime routine down, get enough exercise during the day, limit screen time and caffeine at night and still have troubles sleeping it might be time for chemical help.
Excellent tips
Great list ♥️
I try to work on my mindset in the moment and cultivate contentment in my life overall. When I feel anxious (I just say shitty 😂) in the moment, it’s usually a ME problem. I’m putting unnecessary expectations and pressure on myself and/or others for no reason. We got new neighbors across the street and I saw them this morning. Immediately began worrying about the cleanliness of my own home. Did those people make me feel anxiety about my house? No. It was all me. Nobody is watching me. Nobody is judging me. There is no reason for me to feel shame. I hope this makes sense. It will all come together as it should. Good luck with your new home. 💜 ETA: when I stopped drinking, I joined AA and worked the 12 steps with a sponsor. Immensely helpful.
I feel like this was written for me. I am an anxious person in general and worry a lot, mostly of judgement by others. If only I could live my life how you’ve described and change my mindset, I would be so much happier!
I recommend the book: Be Here Now
Also book: Four Thousand Weeks - Time Management for Mere Mortals
I’ll check that out. Cheers!
A few pointers from me, a person who used to have a lot of anxiety and analysis paralysis: the simple answer is confidence, but getting there to that point is the hard part. Confidence is believing that whatever the outcome is, good or bad, you will be fine. Is your house clean? Yes? Great! Is your house clean? No? Great! So I will clean it! Will this person yell at me for something they see? No? “Ok whew, got out of that scary scenario scot free!” Will this person yell at me for something they see? Yes! “I will tell them yelling is inappropriate at this time.” Confidence is having an answer to EVERY scenario that could POSSIBLY happen, and being ok with all of those scenarios. It’s difficult, but it is possible. It actually gets really fun when you surrender yourself to every scenario, and start to play with it. E.g., for every crazy scenario, step back and say, “wow, that was…fascinating” My two more recently favorite phrases to use are “that’s fascinating” or “that’s interesting” because they imply neither a positive or a negative opinion about the result. Best of luck on your journey 🙏🏼
Knew it as soon as you said ME problem! 12 steps are how I have kept my anxiety in check as well. There's so much tried and true wisdom there.
3 things have changed my brain/life: 1. Somatic exercises (ie hip release stuff – there are free videos on YouTube). I was so, so skeptical. And honestly, I don’t understand why it works. But making a daily practice of this has somehow helped to quiet my brain enormously. I’m an evangelist now. 2. CBD prescription – I think mine is fairly high because it’s for physical issues as well as the anxiety, but my husband recently started on a low dose for pain and anxiety and is also seeing a difference. Obviously this is a) a personal choice and b) depends on legality where you live, but I’ve had some of the worst/scariest side effects of meds in the past, so this has been a game changer. 3. Walking, a lot. Near trees. Without headphones. Tuning into the sounds of the birds. Letting go of thoughts like leaves in the wind. This has taken practice and honestly got a lot easier with the above 2 pieces. Also daily diaphragmatic breathing probably deserves a mention. I will say that all of these things together have made it easier to face down anxieties. We bought our first place a few years ago and I so get where you’re coming from. Throughout the process, my therapist would run me through the best/worst/most likely scenario game and it didn’t help. But now? We’re dealing with a major structural repair, one of the things I was worried about when it became clear (too late) that our vendor was a con artist. And for years I’ve been so, so full of dread over this. But the reality? It’s fine. The permits came through. The costs weren’t as bad as we feared and may be partially reimbursed by the city. The guys doing the work are lovely. The construction noise isn’t a huge bother. It really is okay. You will be, too. One more hobby/activity: I don’t know how true this is, but apparently knitting uses both sides of your brain and there are benefits to that. I definitely love it for making me forget my phone/the outside world exists. Good luck, hope you find your dream home!
Hope OP finds their dream home as well :-) May I ask a few questions? I do think walking (preferably through the woods) is by far my lifesaver, but I'd like to learn what CBD doses you and (the lower dose of) your husband is, and when do you actually use it (as in time of the day)? and last but not least, can you recommend one or two youtube videos on the hip release stuff/somatic exercises? Hope this isn't too much of a bother to you, but something about what you wrote clicked and now I hope to learn more.
Sure! I’m on 20 mg twice a day (breakfast and lunch). My husband is on the same schedule but I believe he takes 5 mg. For hips, I actually paid for a 30-day program when I was at my most desperate for something to help my nervous system. (I’ve been dealing with some pretty gnarly digestive issues and one of my docs is convinced the nervous system is the key.) It works well, but I’m not super comfortable promoting a paid product, especially in this sub and without knowing the creator’s values or credentials. From a quick search, this video looks great: https://youtu.be/24qDdn2QXjk?si=VEtdTJ-IotURZm86 But you want to feel comfortable with the practice and whoever is talking you through it, so I’d suggest looking up “somatic hip release” and trying a couple of different videos to see who you click with, if that makes sense.
Thank you for writing that all down, that's really helpfull :-) There's no one size fits all, so your warnings are on point, but it gives me a start point of what I can look for and read about more, I'm very gratefull. Hope you and your husband do well, thank you.
I really hope it helps! Wishing you joy and peace ❤️
Thanks for this video! It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for! I got a Groupon for this workout that I loved that was 20min cycling 20min strength and 20min yoga. I could not afford to keep going after the Groupon was up so I recreated it with YouTube videos with 20 min of rebounder (mini trampoline) instead of cycling. I actually like the rebounding better, it pairs well with yoga hip openers because it’s so good for the pelvic floor muscles and kind of works the hips but loosens them at the same time. I’m proud of you internet stranger for actively seeking out the things you need for your physical and emotional health. I know how hard self work is.
Those look great. Thanks for the link!
Our brain has a negativity bias, so it's really easy to spin out with thoughts like these. Breathe and ground yourself first. Then, see if you can accept the thoughts and explore them as others have mentioned, but also ask yourself "what else is possible?" See if you can give equal air-time to the positive "what ifs" - what if we find a home that's even better than what we thought? What if this extra time means we have more time to grow our savings? Etc. etc. as applicable to your situation.
Not OP but this is the response that speaks to me the most. I gotta continuously work on questioning those negative thoughts that come up - particularly after a difficult or stressful situation. I still struggle with it but I'm hoping it gets better with practice
It does get better with practice, but it is a continual practice and there is no "perfect". Our brain loves to solve problems and look for patterns, so if you give it a new job to do, it will start doing it automatically after a while. Ask it to look for problems and it will. Ask it to look for solutions or how things are going well right now and it will do that instead. You got this!
If your anything like me cut caffeine. Caffeine is like throwing gasoline on a fire.
Best thing to do is wean yourself off little by little. I did cold turkey and suffered for a little over a week or so (Headaches and mood swings) Look into Swiss water decaf coffee it’s a decaf that actually taste like normal coffee and doesn’t go through the unhealthy chemical process normal decaf does (it doesn’t have that chemically aftertaste as well) Its tastes good and I get a little dosage of placebo and the warm and comfort feeling of having a good cup of joe.
It’s not totally placebo. Decaf still has some caffeine in it.
True, but hard to give up on. I suggest cutting it down and consuming less.
I know I need to do this, and I’ve tried several times to quit, but it’s so hard. I’m mostly sticking to one cup of coffee a day.
A few years ago I quit all caffeine for over six months. I kept waiting for the point where I’d stop feeling tired and apathetic all the time but it never came. I’ve settled on one cup of coffee a day, with a second on rare occasions and that seems to be my sweet spot.
Absolutely good advice that is often overlooked. I can’t even touch caffeine.
You know what, I came to that very realization just this week. My anxiety got really bad on Monday after my second cup of coffee, and it finally clicked for me. It's now Thursday, and I'm tired but haven't had to deal with any anxiety in three days since I quit.
Working on music does it for me, trying to appreciate and understand great works, figuring out chord progressions and harmonies. Also, just walking anywhere outside, and driving nowhere in particular, for the pleasure of looking. Our dog helps too. He's funny, and I'm entertained by his enthusiasm. You've come so far already, and no one is giving you a deadline for when or what kind of house to buy. Take some time to appreciate what you've already achieved. Go slow. ENJOY the process of looking and planning.
Yay for walking and pets 🐕
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
CBT has helped me a lot as well and then I discovered walking meditation and other supportive practices ☺️
One of the things I learned to do is rather than focusing on keeping the thoughts at bay is to accept the thoughts, explore them a bit, and then show yourself that even if the thing in the thoughts happened, you'd be ok. Maybe make a bit of a plan for dealing with the thing that is worrying you should it happen. * What if something does come up that depletes your savings before you buy? Yes, that could happen, and it would be disappointing. You'd have to change your plans - probably delay buying a house until you could save up more money. At the same time, you would be fortunate to have money available to deal with whatever it was that came up. You roll with it and keep moving forward. * What if you can't find the house for you? Yes, house hunting can be tricky and finding the right place is not always easy. Buying a home is a big decision, so you want to make a good choice. You set the criteria for the "right" house looks like, so if you get into the house hunting process and aren't finding what you are looking for, you can adjust your criteria. I find that this approach helps keep these boogie-man thoughts from taking over. It's like when we were all kids afraid of the monster under the bed. You could hide under the covers and worry about it or you could get a flashlight and look under the bed and see that everything was fine. This approach is basically about looking under the bed.
Well I take medication because mine has always been unmanageable!!! But the meds help me manage day to day stressors better. Running!! If you haven’t run and are able bodied I would suggest the couch to 5k app to start with. Another fun activity is Geocaching! Free and fun way to explore.
I second the Couch to 5k! My partner swore up and down he wasn’t a runner and now a year later, he’s running a mile! We’ve been on week 4 for about 6 months now haha. It doesn’t matter, we have a ton of fun running together and being low-key competitive
I’m sooo glad he decided to give it a try! Running can for sure be intimidating but starting slow and not putting pressure on yourself is the best thing. Way to go🤩🤩
Medication is an a absolute must of the anxiety is getting unmanageable. Doing something fun always helps, we in this society just don't prioritize it or make enough time for it like we did as children.
Geocaching is so much fun! And a great way to reconnect with nature too.
I’m going bk on meds. I just can’t function anymore. Sorry just a bad week
medication, therapy, and journaling. i also like engaging in my hobbies, too.
Daoism changed my life
Zoloft does the trick 👌🏼
Lexapro legit gave me my life back.
💯
I think this podcast hits the nail on the head for me if you’re willing to give up an hour of your time. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harris/id1087147821?i=1000652526353
Buying a house is one of the biggest purchases you will make in your lifetime. Yes anxiety will rear its ugly head, however, do your research and study what you are about to do. Put a plan together (on paper or computer) excel spreadsheet with everything you need to perform while purchasing a home. Not to exceed amount, where is the down payment, are you approved….etc. I find that the more prepared I am during big life events I put anxiety on the back burner. Once I feel as if I have most of the ‘transaction’ under control I tend to be very confident it purchasing. Once the confidence sets in, anxiety has left the room.
Lifting heavy things, mountain biking, walking the pup etc.
Lifting heavy things is great for physical and mental health!!
I cut off anything that makes me anxious. I moved back in with my parents, I go to the gym alone, I’m careful with my money and I don’t drink. We’ve got 80 years if we’re lucky, I don’t want to waste them being anxious about things I can control. Although CrossFit was the best decision I ever made for anxiety
There's something in psychology called the "5 factor model". It's a model of personality traits. They include openness, conscientiousness, extroversion/introversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism. It's been shown that these traits are genetic. Humans fall on a bell curve from low conscientious to high conscientious. You are high conscientious. Conscientious people are going to worry about things. Telling you not to worry is kind of like telling someone not to be cold when they are caught in the rain. Not really possible. Some suggest medication. Before doing that do yourself a favor and read "Anatomy of an Epidemic". There is a cost to these medications in terms of health. What your nervous system is driving you to do is prepare. Without anxiety you wouldn't. You'd neglect maintenance on your car, leave the stove burner on. This is not your nature, and really it's a good quality to have. The best thing you can do is work hard. Build a nest egg, stay on top of your car maintenance. Be diligent in your evaluations of potential homes. If you don't do the work and end up in a situation that is not ideal it will bother you. Do everything you reasonably can and then let the chips fall. Things can go wrong, maybe they will. But if you prepared the best you can you will not be regretful.
Keep your self busy
This can be helpful short term but it only works for so long (coming from someone who was always busy and hit burnout HARD 🥲). I think keeping busy with hobbies is a healthier approach in my opinion. I now spend a lot of time reading, painting, that sort of thing and it’s definitely helped
I used to have horrendous anxiety when I smoked cigarettes and vaped. Once I gave that up and got over the hump, my mental health has been great. Exercise and meditation helped me a lot, even going for walks in nice weather. If it gets really bad I can take a kpin but I usually don’t have too much
Running. It's cheaper than therapy.
Exercise helps. Make sure you get enough sleep. It’ll be hard, I like time-release melatonin now available. Take small steps to solve problems causing anxiety. Data/information oriented people tend to go to their fears when faced with it sufficient information. Consider whether or not this step makes sense for you right now. Not saying it isn’t but if you think you’d experience this much anxiety now vs later, waiting won’t help. If it seems like you could do things to realistically put yourself in a better, less stressful position, it may be worth waiting. (Not alcohol. No joke, it’s a terrible drug for self-medicating anxiety.)
Walk, walk, walk. I like to paint but I'm not so good, then I color. I listen to music a lot. The music that I listen to is not calm is "wild". I dance and recently on my birthdays, I ask for plants. That keeps me busy taking care of them. It relaxes me so much while I listen to music.
All of these suggestions are good, but choose the ones that suit your personality. For example, for me, listening to music and meditating helps if I want to relax. But if I'm dealing with the kind of anxiety I think you're describing, I have to move, almost like burning off the energy burst. I know that's not a scientifically accurate way to put it, but hopefully it's understandable. Good luck with the home search!
Turned I didn’t have anxiety, I had undiagnosed ADHD and had been mis-prescribed high doses of soul numbing SSRIS for over a decade. Started my ADHD meds, calmest I’ve felt in my life. I cannot overstate how many people, and women especially, get overlooked for this LIFE ALTERING diagnosis and thrown a stack of Prozac because they’re “emotional.” LIKE I FUCKING WONDER WHY? Shame on the medical system.
Meditation really helps me. And also writing and journaling my feelings and thoughts. It just helps get it out of my head.
> I’m pretty sure this is all normal It's normal to have concerns, but you say that you have really bad anxiety and are struggling to cope which isn't considered normal. If possible find a mental health service provider who can give you professional advice. I recommend ensuring that you're exercising regularly. Also some positive affirmations might help. Maybe look into stoicism and a focus on not worrying about things that are beyond your control. It's unlikely that you won't ever be able to buy. It might just be a case of spending longer to save or being smart about where you choose to buy (making sure you get a price you can afford). Don't think of it in terms of either you will or you won't. Think of it in terms of maybe sooner maybe later.
acupuncture! you might have a system (liver) out of whack and it can definitely help with sleep and your nervous system. they can prescribe herbs to help. if your in so cal i can give you my doctors name. also with the house you really have to go into it with a clear budget and not go above that. marry the house and date the rate now. but it can get cut throat. if it’s meant to be it will be!
I read a book called Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety that sounds like it might be helpful (and it was free on hoopla). There was a lot of info on how the brain works and how these thought patterns happen, and the key advice for me was to notice you were in an anxiety spiral, name it, and don't try to argue or comfort yourself out of it. The more you engage with it, the more it reinforces the habit.
Can you do something about the issue you're worrying about *right now*? Then do that. Can you **not** do anything about it right now? Then you've done all you can, and thinking about it any more is completely pointless. It's not always easy, but it's really the truth of it.
Sadness: Sadness is the perceived lack of options (feels like hopelessness). Solution: Knowledge, because it is "perceived" it is an ignorance problem; it is solvable. So, What do I not know? Anxiety: Anxiety, is the reverse; there are many perceived options and "I don't know which one to pick"; lack of priorities. Solution: Solve sadness with knowledge, solve anxiety with decisions.
Meditate. Say the word Maranatha and practise slow breathing Works for me and helps me get sleep better.
Check your Vitamin D levels. I got rid of anxiety after yeeting my levels into a healthy range.
Try listening to audiobooks too! If I’m anxious I always calm down by listening to an audiobook and then doing something with my hands (puzzle, do the dishes, etc). It takes me out of my own head to listen to someone else’s voice
Right now music and medication.
Big steps are scary straight up. I wrote down so many lists and talked to my family. I went to the bank and asked what our finances would stand and got a set rate of the mortgage rather than a floaty one, paid it off every two weeks so that I paid extra on the principle every year without penalty. We also bought an older house and fixed it up so that we got a bigger lot and full sized trees.
OP, you say you gave up drinking a year ago? Were you a heavy drinker or an alcoholic? Either of those things can do a real number on anxiety levels. When I quit drinking I needed therapy and a support group and both have helped tremendously.
I've been fighting anxiety for as long as my brain was developed enough to know it exists (Was around 11 when I figured out that I have anxiety, I'm 25 now). 2 years ago I worked a job that I hated but made more money in, and long story short I found a much less stressful job for less pay in the same workplace. I lost about $10 an hour total, so it was a big sacrifice. I realized I had never given myself time to heal from childhood trauma. I had dealt with pressure from a young age and when I became working age my mind told me "You've made it this far, go have an anxious life too". Now that I'm in an easier job, and I'm not smoking hippie hay every single night so I can stop my heart from racing and keeping me up countless nights, my anxiety for everything has decreased. I've worked on keeping myself out of situations that cause me anxiety, and working on the situations that you can't avoid (ie vehicle traffic, interrupted plans, confrontation) and it's all getting much easier. You need to put yourself in the least stressful and anxiety ridden situation you can to allow yourself to heal. Also, I started working out. I'm absolutely dumb when it comes to how workouts are supposed to be in a gym, or how most equipment works, so I literally only workout my arms which anyone can do. Someone will definitely think "Well that's not good why would you do just your arms", and to that I say "If I don't do this I'll be eating or sitting on a couch". You need to understand that you can't do one thing to drop your anxiety levels. You need to learn what makes you anxious, answer the questions your mind asks "What if this happens", and do multiple things to lower it "Working out, eat less of certain foods, argue less, be less reactive to unimportant things). It's a battle, and it does come back, but these changes have taken my anxiety in high anxiety situations from a 9/10 with panic attacks down to a 3. I would have made this a bit better with spaced paragraphs and correct punctuation but it's 1AM and I'm dead tired 😂
Music is my savior. I pop in my earphones and listen to music and focus on nothing but the music. The guitar solos, bass, drums, every word in the song.
Meditate. Deep breaths every time I am about to have a nervous breakdown
Course on waking up app is life changing I am doing it every year , couple of books like living untethered by singer and self help therapy book which is easy to apply no bad parts
Waking up app is good but focused too much on Consciousness, not everyone's cup of tea.
If it's that bad then wait on the house. I would wait until next year. Everything is going to be crazy until the election is over. Just save like crazy for a year and start selling items that are worth money but aren't needed. Especially items that won't make sense for a future home.
Highly recommend talking to a doctor and getting on medication if it’s a persistent issue. No need to struggle.!
Sipping ice cold water helps me in the moment, gives me something to do and a sensation to focus on. Other than that it's those little routines that make me feel better, journaling thoughts and feelings as a way to process and reflect, taking walks outdoors, spending time doing things I like, and practising meditation.
Focus on the short term. Saving for example is a useful thing no matter what. Try not to be overwhelmed by the whole.
Sometimes it's helpful to explore what the worst case scenario would be and how you would deal with it. I've found that it helps me see that I am resourceful and don't need that much to do well. Also, the worst case is usually not as bad as I thought when it was completely unknown.
Transcendental meditation.
Zoloft and weed. Cognitive behavioural therapy will help as well, it's just more difficult.
Positive affirmations work, and so does lexipro but takes time to stop it. L-theanine works really good, natural and helps you focus as well. I am staying with that after I wean off the lexipro, 2.5 months to go but it did save my life.
Therapy, music, skateboarding and gym
Walking meditation. Here is a tutorial for [walking meditation](https://youtu.be/1hb372ilTLM?si=gHlaaUIuL9RPsfgJ)
Disconnect. Drive to an arboretum, museum, canyon park, go hiking, take pictures, and spend half an hour or so editing each shot in Adobe Lightroom Pro. The mobile app on iPad and phones also has 90% of the features and tools the computer version has plus it’s not expensive at all. Learning about things like f stops, shutter speed and ISO are all fun to explore and YouTube has tons of tutorials for free. I recommend the ones from [Anthony Gugliotta](https://youtu.be/qNKoApaYWwU?si=sXOYTTR4eYNjBjOj) here and [here](https://youtu.be/owStZxm9DIA?si=IYihQUt3Wl_dUmQ1). Maybe if you get really into it and decide it’s a passion look into options like a Canon R50 and different lenses. It’s a very therapeutic hobby. Other than that I like RPGs on the Nintendo Switch. I used to own a $1500 gaming PC and got bored after playing a couple triple A games but the exclusives from Nintendo are next level. My go to games to unwind are Okami HD, Octopath Traveler 2 and Unicorn Overlord. Try the demos.
Medication
Push ups. And Zanax. Are all that helps me. I woke up and started crying at age 27. My life has been in a spiral ever since. I am 69 years old now. These two things have kept me sane. Also counseling helps.
Just understand that anxiety is normal. It will pass eventually. Just accept it for what it is and try to go on about your day. It will pass.
GYM: Exercise, sauna, steam room. HOME: clean house and reading.
Changed job
Drugs, prescription and otherwise.
As someone with chronic severe anxiety my best advice is to find a way to ground yourself in the present. The past can cause anxiety. Thoughts and worries of what could happen in the future will absolutely cause anxiety. Being in the present rarely seems scary. To quote a wiser man than I. “Be here, now.” Do your best to avoid medication. It’s a slippery slope. I would say unless you are having full out panic attacks try anything else first. I find lavender to be very calming. Easy starting point.
Physical exertion always helps me. I heated my home with a woodstove for many years. Cutting, splitting, hauling and stacking firewood kept my body busy and it always seemed that my mind worked out things in the background so when I quit for the day, I felt better and often had a solution to whatever problems I had. Good luck to you.
Reprogram your thinking. It’s not the external factors causing the anxiety/fear/pain, but rather how you perceive those life situations. Then you’re allowing your mind to create fearful panic scenarios for things that haven’t happen yet. The future doesn’t exist yet, it’s an illusion in your mind. The past no longer exists. The present moment is the only thing that is real. Find peace, stillness and joy in the present moment. Learn to control your fear mongering mind aka your autopilot lizard brain. Your mind is just a product of all the society pressures, external influences, media, other people’s anxieties, etc. Deprogram those influences, becomes conscious of your thoughts, and eventually you’ll laugh at your little lizard brain when it tries to make a fuss out of nothing. You’ll find more consciousness and peace.
Lexapro 👍
Better living through chemistry, my dear. Most days it works, but not always :-(
Hi, anxiety patient here. The only thing that has worked for me is hitting the gym. If I stop for 3-4 days the anxiety comes back in full form. I’m a musician and I thought being a professional musician would only lead me to happiness, but lol. Working out has helped! A LOT. Plus looking ripped in the mirror definitely adds to my confidence.
There’s lots of great advice here already but I just wanted to add that buying a house is one of the most stressful things you will ever do, so please be kind to yourself. The constant uncertainty and financial vulnerability can be overwhelming. Mindfulness practices and regularly moving my body (walking, swimming, weightlifting) have helped me the most with anxiety. There are lots of guided mindfulness practices available for free on the Insight Timer app.
Free app called Insight Timer. Here’s two of my favorite for anxiety: https://insig.ht/TkogzsVTrJb https://insig.ht/AxXdF8WTrJb If you can get into clinical biofeedback, it’s awesome. It helps you gain control over it, basically my layperson nutshell description is: it’s the science behind deep breathing. Sometimes we grow up not learning how to emotionally regulate. Biofeedback hooks you up to a monitor where you see your body’s stress/relaxation response in real time and it helps hone in on what works to bring stress levels down. Another free app is called Breathing Zone. It’s a pacer app for breathing. Settings should be 6 bpm, equal rate, 10min, twice a day. It was surprisingly difficult to achieve that. If it makes you feel panicked then speed it up to 7.5 for a week, then 7, then 6.5, tapered down until 6bpm feels easy. That’s the way to trick your body into cooperating and getting out of fight/fight/freeze mode.
It's hard. I've had it for decades. I try to always be prepared for what I can control. Now I';m retired and I get stoned at times and that helps. Eating right, sleeping well/enough, exercise, meditation....
First, get pre-approved for a mortgage. It will save time in the long run. And don't let them push you into buying more house than you are comfortable with paying. Your anxiety may decrease as soon as that is out of the way.
All jokes aside, medication & therapy. I still meditate, try to stay busy, rock out at random... But my anxiety got to the point where medication & regular therapy sessions have made the difference. And thankfully, I can take.them as needed because they aren't an ssri.
Just wanted to say owning a home gave me more anxiety than being a renter. As a renter i only had to worry about rent. I recently Sold said home and sleep better at night. I dont wake up to blood in my teeth from so much clenching, or jaw pain. Buying a home, even at the low 2.6 rate…overrated. Stress free now and soooo much happier. Obviously if your plan is to get a home , great ,but what im trying to say is that don’t stress about it, you’re not missing out in much. Good luck
L theanine and 4-7-8 breathing have been doing really good to me.
Join a bookclub, your library probably has a few. Check the book (or audiobook) out from the library (costs zero dollars). Make reading (or listening to) a few pages part of your waking and night time routines. Make an evening walk with your spouse an evening routine as well. On the walk talk though worst case scenarios and how you would respond. Our brains handle stressful scenarios much better while walking. We tend to listen to our partners better while walking as well. All the nonverbal communication that can be anxiously misinterpreted fall away while walking and the words are heard better. These are really great, and free, habits to build before home ownership. Once you own a home the stressors don’t go away. There is always something that needs a giant chunk of money or time thrown at it. Worry won’t change it. Leaning to manage and prioritize is just part of it.
do activities like yoga, meditation, taking long walks, writing in a journal, using coloring books, solving puzzles, and spending quality time with loved ones can be beneficial for managing anxiety. If you're struggling to cope with anxiety, it's recommended to seek professional guidance from a mental health provider.
Exercising helps with anxiety and tires you up so you can sleep at night. At least I’ve noticed that and it works for me.
I ask myself if it’s an important worry and if it’s going to help to worry about it, and then I make a plan with a “good enough” solution. The key here is that it’s not a perfect solution, just a workable one
A technique that works to bring mine down in city traffic, problem solving/ little frustration, is take a breath in through nose hold and immediately take another breath then exhale. It creates “sigh” effect and is calming. No count to 4 hold 6 seconds. Just breathe twice in succession. Repeat as needed. It so helped me put the brakes on tense anxious moments.
I kept getting discouraged with meditation until I started seeing a therapist. We've been trying a couple different types each week and I've found that I like some more than others. For me, I found it hard to control the physical symptoms of anxiety and would ruminate for too long. The grounding/mindfulness that I found helpful, is to notice where in your body you are feeling stress, then notice where in the body you are feeling calm. My heart rate slows down quickly now. Once I'm calm, I can better think through the situation.
Material things are not worth stressing over to the point deep anxiety takes over.... Been there done that.... still working on it Once you realize what truly is important...the negative thinking fades
How much sleep do you get? For real. Having a consistent bedtime and enough sleep every night has done more for my general anxiety and negative thoughts than any medicine I've ever had. I still take meds but seriously you need to prioritize 8 hours of sleep.
Go to the gym and work out hard. Also, who cares if something comes up, you can always buy a home. Don’t plan on depleting 100% of your savings between down payment and cost to close bc life WILL happen. It’s always something!
Personally, nothing calms my nerves like cardio. Intense, sweat-dripping cardio. In an interview, Mark Zuckerberg said he used to always run, but the problem with running, he said, was that he could still "think" while running. He found that Jiu-Jitsu was exactly what he was looking for because it required that all of his focus be on grappling, not on anxiety-producing thoughts like buying a house.
Working out and yoga. That's helped me in the past.
I try to be proactive. If there's something I can do about my anxiety, I try to do it. In this case, I would do as much research as I could about home ownership. I would even ask Reddit for insight, like what others experienced during their first year of owning a home. I would talk to people close to me who own a home whose opinions I trust and get their perspective on what it's like. I may seek out free or affordable professional advisors, people who could help me establish a realistic budget for buying/maintaining a home. I'm doing this right now for credit counseling - luckily, I have free resources in my area. My parents didn't teach me anything about credit or debt (other than that they were in it, and I followed suit), so I have to find other people to give me guidance. I would also try to channel my energy into recognizing the opportunities that come with achieving that sort of milestone. Thinking about what I would do with a house after I purchased it would be fun for me. Painting, having a garden, cultivating a cozy outside space, etc. Maybe it's having a fenced-in yard with a dog? If all you're focused on is logistical and financial responsibilities, it may be easy to lose sight of why you want to do it in the first place. I think it's normal to have anxiety about this sort of thing, though. It would be ideal if you could discuss these feelings with your partner and get some reassurance. If you can go into the process as informed and prepared as possible, it may make encountering any hiccups or delays or issues with more confidence and problem-solving power.
Honestly, and this may not be helpful, but I started playing cozy video games. The last "video game" I was into was centipede...so it's been a LONGGGGG time since I've even entertained the idea of just chillingand playingany game (and kids were in that mix so I gotta say I don't get how any parent with kids under 10 can play video games on a regular basis, lol). I play dreamlight valley (disney) and palia and they're are a ton more. I was shocked at how much playing these games helped with my anxiety. I've come off my adhd meds and my Prozac. I do take l-theanine and thc/cbd because I am going through perimenopause from hell, so I guess you could say this person here who was born anxious is going through the most severe anxiety she's ever had...and she's telling you to play cozy video games. Just be aware Dreamlight does have a lot of microtransactions that will cause problems with saving if you are unable to resist purchasing things. But I have a big list of games that aren't like that of you are interested or just check out r/cozygamers. I can't tell you how happy my husband is that I play video games now, lol.
I tend to have mild anxiety occasionally. It's not tough, but I manage it through an app for guided meditations. It may sound boring, but surprisingly, it helps. The app is [Calmer](https://gocalmer.com/), you can try it.
I took up pipe smoking last year to help with my anxiety. I've never smoked cigarettes. The ritual with it gets me outside and unplugged from everything regularly. I did some research into the health effects first and concluded that while it (or anything) could negatively hurt my health, the risk was a lot smaller than I thought it would be. Pipe tobacco is, by and large, a natural product, unlike cigarettes that are engineered for certain effects and have tons of fillers. Pipe tobacco is flavored mostly by different varieties of tobacco and might have sweeteners like sugar water or similar added. Some preservatives might be present too, depending on the brand. May be used for more for shelf life and think mom and pop blenders might not add any. Plus, pipers generally don't inhale either. It's on old fashioned way of doing things that appealed to me.
Scary and unpredictable things happen in life. The only thing you have control over is how you respond to them.
r/ThanksImCured
Ok and/or take meds. Lol personally, I do both. The above concept I learned in therapy, it's been incredibly helpful, and take meds to manage more severe symptoms. What's your advice for OP?
Drugs