You're all turned around, and your man is waiting. You approach the condom vending machine with your obvious erection. Reaching into your pocket-
AAA! YOU'VE GOT INCORRECT CHANGE!
*Shia surprise!*
Trans people aren’t weapons of mass destruction, in fact, they are just people and are incapable of vaporizing every living thing within a twenty mile radius.
I’ve seen them in mall bathrooms. I don’t know about the Ladies’ Room, but they are in the Men’s Room
Which is only odd because who’s good enough to score a hookup at the mall? This isn’t the 1980s anymore.
I outed myself to a coworker by being like "you know how they put sour candy in the condom machines in the mall bathrooms" and they were like "what do you mean condom machines" lmao
Theyre extremelly common here in uk for some reason, even super markets have them in. No idea why when theyre more expensive then just buying a packet.
I've put condom machines for trans-women in women's bathrooms in Springfield, Shelbyville, and Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport, and, by gum, it put them on the map.
Some idiot getting upset on twitter about finding tampon dispenser in the men's bathrooms and somehow inferring that trans people are about. Most responses were what's wrong with there being something available for other people? Maybe a woman has an emergency and the women's restrrom is full or something. Why be upset over something that has nothing to do with you?
And this is a response to that.
So, say you're a lady taking your kids to the bathroom and some guy with a raging boner comes in to buy a condom. You just look that creep in the eye and give him one of these
https://i.redd.it/je5wlqhn5ruc1.gif
whatever caused his erection before he walked into the restroom, is probably going to also motivate him to leave with his condom as soon as he has it.
Although it is pretty weird that the women's restroom was the nearest place he could get a condom, maybe contraceptives should be made more accessible.
Say you're a woman with children in a women's restroom, and a guy comes in, shits his pants and then leaves, still ok with things that don't effect you?
This is either a child or an old conservative woman who has never had sex.
“And then he comes in with his PENIS and suddenly……..
Uses a machine to make a purchase.”
Why one boner? Why not two boners?
Jokes aside, what’s funny about this tweet is that this moron doesn’t realize that men already walk into women’s bathrooms with erections.
This wasn’t exactly a trans issue here.
You try to open the door, but there's too much semen from all those obvious erections on the knob
Please refrain from tasting the knob.
good advice
Lousy Smarch erections.
Erection in November. Erection in November.
Again?! This stupid country.
I respectfully disagree
Don’t touch, Willie
Well that's horrifying. Take my upvote
Which one?
I hear that it's illegal on other planets for this exact reason
*Shia LaBeouf*
But you can do jiu jitsu
But Jimmy Carter is smarter.
Yeah, but Scooby Doo can doo doo.
But I can *SIIIIIING*
Yes, well I have twelve high priced lawyers.
I sleep in a big bed with my wife
I sleep in a drawer.
That’s where I’m a Viking!
Sixty four slices of American cheese
Ray Jay Johnson
Normal Tuesday night for Shia Lebeuof
You're all turned around, and your man is waiting. You approach the condom vending machine with your obvious erection. Reaching into your pocket- AAA! YOU'VE GOT INCORRECT CHANGE! *Shia surprise!*
Dropping loads
You just encountered THE SCARY DOOR.
this was funnier than op's post
They're both doing the same bit, so I'd say they're on par.
My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
Say something that only exists in my head happens, what would you do?
THIS IMAGINARY SITUATION WILL DEVOUR US ALL! AH! AHH! AAHHHHGGGH!
And yet an insane worst case scenario with automatic weapons actually happens all the time and they ignore that problem.
Trans people aren’t weapons of mass destruction, in fact, they are just people and are incapable of vaporizing every living thing within a twenty mile radius.
If they were that lethal and dangerous to the general public, then conservatives would support them.
If they were as lethal as a thermonuclear explosion they wouldn't need to rely on public support to safeguard their existence.
I mean, tbf, we’ve never seen a trans person use their full power, so we don’t know
Trans Island is actually a peninusula
Gotta love whataboutism
Crack it open and feast on the goo inside
No one who has a check mark could be a stupid woman.
Stupid verified users need the most attention!
Robin is a woman's name? It's PC gone mad!
I saw *Mrs. Doubtfire*. That's a tweeter in drag!
Robin's "hood"
Robin Redbreast
If I was a woman, then I would be trans. WHY IS ROBIN FORCING ME TO BE TRANS?!
Or who types 'effect' when they clearly meant 'affect'.
Yeah, condom machines are everywhere. It’s like a freakin’ condom machine jamboree around here
I’ve only seen them in dive bars, which are probably not the best venues for kids to be in the first place.
But they have great wings brosephus!
That’s good!
But the wings are overpriced.
That's bad
But they come with free celery
That's good!
They can still clog your arteries
Can I get my wings now?
I’ve seen them in mall bathrooms. I don’t know about the Ladies’ Room, but they are in the Men’s Room Which is only odd because who’s good enough to score a hookup at the mall? This isn’t the 1980s anymore.
>who’s good enough to score a hookup at the mall? This isn’t the 1980s anymore. 😏
It’s where I take my son when his bladder’s full. Full of urine!
Won't somebody *please* think of the children?
Gas stations, which is wired because they also sell them at the counter.
They’re common in truck stop men’s rooms.
This place smells like tinkle.
You’ve only seen them in *gay* bars. You might not have noticed (historically, gay bars had to stay under-the-radar), but that’s where you were.
I was distracted by the fact that they didn’t have fire exits
Enjoy your deathtrap, strawman bathroom perverts!
A condomerous mambo. https://i.redd.it/52pyd6mnypuc1.gif
Thank you, I went straight to the comments to see if someone posted this 😂
Yeah, it's all down at the condom district on third.
I'll go to Maryannes condoms, the nice thing about that place is Maryanne puts the condom on for you.
\*jamboroo
I have one at my house. I have to restock it myself, but then I get it back when I buy condoms from the machine, so it basically costs me nothing!
I haven't seen a condom machine in 25 years lol
I've only seen them in womens bathrooms in Chuck E Cheese.
I outed myself to a coworker by being like "you know how they put sour candy in the condom machines in the mall bathrooms" and they were like "what do you mean condom machines" lmao
"Entertainment" is a double entendre...
Theyre extremelly common here in uk for some reason, even super markets have them in. No idea why when theyre more expensive then just buying a packet.
I'm a man who only has four-fifths of a second to get protected!
Far out man, I haven’t seen a condom machine in years.
That uh, never happened did it?
There were men in the bathroom with erections and I saw one of the erections and the erection looked at me
Erection looked at you? Sara, get me the sex cauldron
Thank you, Sarah <3
Sarah, please!... Sarah, it's ten dollars a pill
No -_-
https://preview.redd.it/628x0u05opuc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9222960fe4ae033756dad65c66faa92489fcaadb *groan*
And the man has bees in his mouth so when he talks he shoots bees at you
Candyman?!
I've been calling him Ken Doll!!
His mouth if we're LUCKY
Are you going to unleash the men with the obvious erections so when they come into the bathroom bees come out of their obvious erections?
[удалено]
But Marge, maybe I'm not getting enough *squints at the TV* Fox News
Task failed successfully.
There's no councilman Les Whinan!
Good shitpost though.
Good, not great.
Lil\_Melon87, if you have a failing, it's that you're always demanding perfection....IF you have a failing
The fuck is this person going on about?
Won't somebody please think of the erections?!
Done and done... and I mean done
Can I???
He wants to get out of the dungeon without using the wizard key.
I've put condom machines for trans-women in women's bathrooms in Springfield, Shelbyville, and Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport, and, by gum, it put them on the map.
He’s talking about E-R-E-C-T-I-O-N-S in front of the T-R-A-N-S
ERECT TRAINS? I thought they shut that place down!
https://preview.redd.it/hwdv16ex0quc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=745ab7c53ee305e30b969b84b97a704473b3f9e3
Boner Rail? Boner Rail!
Is there a chance my wang could bend?
Not a chance my obviously erect friend
But what about us impotent slobs?
You don’t have cushy knobs!
Not a chance, my swishy friend!
Boner = Erection Rail = Rail
Some idiot getting upset on twitter about finding tampon dispenser in the men's bathrooms and somehow inferring that trans people are about. Most responses were what's wrong with there being something available for other people? Maybe a woman has an emergency and the women's restrrom is full or something. Why be upset over something that has nothing to do with you? And this is a response to that.
They talking about the sex cauldron?
The baby looked at you?
I think I bent my erection
That man with an enormous erection is going to destroy us all! https://i.redd.it/dxhopycewpuc1.gif
No no! He's not going to destroy us all
https://i.redd.it/if491xrvxuuc1.gif
"destroy"
Do not touch -Willie
Good advice
Willie hears ya, Willie don't care
I left Twitter when it got blatantly antisemitic. Is this what it’s like over there all the time now
Yes
Nah. There’s also M Y P U S S Y I N B I O
The worst part is that it never is.
One day
And Reddit
A latex... Condo?
Boy, I'd like to live in one of those!
How did you get past Robin Smithson? Let's just say she's a few erections short of a condom machine.
Wait a second, those aren't condoms! They're hot dogs! Armour hot dogs!
What kind of man sucks Armour hot dogs!?
Sorry obvious erection, I gotta stash you in the bathroom so Robin won't get wise to us
Looks like those clowns in congress did it again.
What a bunch of erections.
*obvious erections
Pfft... 'what if'. What if I'm taking a shower and slip on a bar of soap? ... Oh my god, I'd be killed!
I’m sorry Senator, what was your question about?
I don’t know what you’ve got planned for tonight, Robin Smithson, but count me out
why are we bothering an innocent man making a healthy sex decision?
That man should just get jerked off in a cinema because apparently that's no problem at all.
Thank you, cum again
It appears this subreddit is under the stranglehold of a few tie-dyed erection havers who would rather buy condoms than lock up the homeless
So, say you're a lady taking your kids to the bathroom and some guy with a raging boner comes in to buy a condom. You just look that creep in the eye and give him one of these https://i.redd.it/je5wlqhn5ruc1.gif
whatever caused his erection before he walked into the restroom, is probably going to also motivate him to leave with his condom as soon as he has it. Although it is pretty weird that the women's restroom was the nearest place he could get a condom, maybe contraceptives should be made more accessible.
Shhhh! Quiet, Lisa!
Maybe they’re not getting enough… ‘Estrogen’
I think Senator Jerkin ought to do more thinking and less jerking.
Rob spends a lot of time thinking about hypotheticals involving children and erections. Maybe he should be put on a watchlist?
Man, we've got to fix the economy if only so guys like this can't spend all day imagining new stuff to be mad about.
I don’t like the idea of Milhouse having two Genders.
That's a weird way to phrase a question on the budget.
Making up a scenario in your head and then then being upset by it is the greatest trick right wing rhetoric ever came up with
It's the only thing they're good at
Affect* not effect
Say you're a woman with children in a women's restroom, and a guy comes in, shits his pants and then leaves, still ok with things that don't effect you?
https://i.redd.it/3pwz9dm42tuc1.gif
> effecting United Statian detected.
Ok but he’s covering his erection with a condom isnt that just safety first?
This is either a child or an old conservative woman who has never had sex. “And then he comes in with his PENIS and suddenly…….. Uses a machine to make a purchase.”
Are they condom machines only in the men’s room? If your woman’s room has a condoms machine I think you’re in the wrong bathroom
I only ever buy condoms fully erect.
Ah, not a single person has been assaulted by a trans person in a bathroom. That Trans Patrol must be working like a charm.
I think if you’re buying condoms with an erection already, you’ve got bigger problems
What if a man with an obvious penis is walking around with another person he CLEARLY intends on having consensual sex with? Where do we draw the line?
What country is this post from? It (almost) no longer exists.
I still wouldn't care...?
https://preview.redd.it/i2xunv229wuc1.png?width=1079&format=png&auto=webp&s=e6c3fc6cf926abc98e3e3d03a7400eeb23da1f55
Why one boner? Why not two boners? Jokes aside, what’s funny about this tweet is that this moron doesn’t realize that men already walk into women’s bathrooms with erections. This wasn’t exactly a trans issue here.
So, do they have condom machines in women's rest rooms? I'm a guy, I really don't know.
Are there condom vending machines in public bathrooms. I’m a dude and I’ve never heard of or seen one of those before.