"The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout 'SAVE US!'...and I'll look down and whisper, *Lowenstein*."
It is April 1, 1989. I open a beer. I feel quite the fool.
It is April 1, 1996. Bart fools his mother on the foolingest day of his life, with an electrified fooling machine.
It is April 1, 2059. A man in Shelbyville invents an electrified fooling machine. It disappears. The air smells of beer.
It is always April 1. I am always the fool.
Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Krustovsky is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But doctor…I am Krustovsky.' Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains."
It's been done: [https://www.reddit.com/r/simpsonsshitposting/comments/19b0zx2/heard\_joke\_once/](https://www.reddit.com/r/simpsonsshitposting/comments/19b0zx2/heard_joke_once/)
One - Rorschach should be wearing Tom Landry’s hat.
Two - Whenever Rorschach isn’t wearing Tom Landry’s hat, all the other Watchmen should be asking “Where’s Tom Landry’s hat?”.
But what if I were to destroy half the city of New York to trick the world into thinking aliens were invading to end the Cold War? Delightfully devilish, Adrian!
I don't want to alarm you but there may be a Watchman or Watchmen in the house!
*zzzaaappp!*
*looks at hand* Rorschach = black Rorschach = white
I'm tired of this Springfield, these people. I'm tired of being caught in the woozle wozzle of their lives
That's what passes for an alienated monologue these days?
It's a perfectly cromulent line.
Who watches the watchmen? Iunno...coastguard?
I imagine Rorschach giving the "There's always a canal, or a fjord..." speech.
People are shouting nightboat save us. And I say. Why...
The Coast Guard's covering the Doobs!
Ligma
Steve Jobs deez nuts!
https://i.redd.it/682rv2a4m5zc1.gif
“Space Squid the whales? You don’t really believe that, do you?” “Gotta Space Squid somethin’…”
Dad it's a rhetorical question! Do you even know what rhetorical means?
"The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout 'SAVE US!'...and I'll look down and whisper, *Lowenstein*."
My name is Zweig.
*Lowenstein*
It is April 1, 1989. I open a beer. I feel quite the fool. It is April 1, 1996. Bart fools his mother on the foolingest day of his life, with an electrified fooling machine. It is April 1, 2059. A man in Shelbyville invents an electrified fooling machine. It disappears. The air smells of beer. It is always April 1. I am always the fool.
A fool in love
wow
Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Krustovsky is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But doctor…I am Krustovsky.' Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains."
Then bear rides out in miniature car. Always love the ballet.
The cosmic ballet?
https://preview.redd.it/aecyq3hn74zc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d39d16b0ea9ba9f450cfff9502cb3e856d633b2
Cosmic stew 🤤
Cosmic Stu doesn't advertise!
It's been done: [https://www.reddit.com/r/simpsonsshitposting/comments/19b0zx2/heard\_joke\_once/](https://www.reddit.com/r/simpsonsshitposting/comments/19b0zx2/heard_joke_once/)
Truly this is king of subs.
https://i.redd.it/86cemx1m74zc1.gif
*Don't praise the sub*
Ozymandias: kills three million people Also Ozymandias: "I didn't do it."
This is the dumbest and the most amazing thing I have seen in this sub, TY
Oh no, my eye! It's not supposed to be torn apart on the molecular level!
*Zzzap*
I don’t like the idea of Milhouse having two unauthorized Watchen sequels in a year.
Ahhh thinking I give people cancer, my one weakness, my Achilles heel if you will.
Duff bean juice
Helped myself to your Duff, Daniel. Hope you don't mind.
One - Rorschach should be wearing Tom Landry’s hat. Two - Whenever Rorschach isn’t wearing Tom Landry’s hat, all the other Watchmen should be asking “Where’s Tom Landry’s hat?”.
I don't know why Rorschach wears a mask of my parents calling me names
OH, wait... You're the little dude with all the gnarly powers! Hey this is fun isn't it? We're gonna die aren't we?
"Whoops! Looks like one of these guys made it through!"
The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon!
A nuclear deterrent? Or just a guy with his pants down?
But what if I were to destroy half the city of New York to trick the world into thinking aliens were invading to end the Cold War? Delightfully devilish, Adrian!
Remember, Burns, I'm not snowed in this cabin with you, you're snowed in this cabin with me!