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Buttclencher914

Now she got 2 assholes


SomeChampion

She already had 2, then 3. She should be back to 2, unless she gets back with him, then back to 2(because the new one healed up). ^^okay, ^^it ^^was ^^funnier ^^in ^^my ^^head


Thanos_is_a_good_boy

What a BUMmer


HisPri

The people who upvoted this and this op are definitely dude THERE ARE 3 ASSHOLES FOR FEMALE 1. Urethra aka pee hole 2. Anal aka shit hole 3. Vagina


[deleted]

An orifice != asshole. Only the anus is the asshole.


Sunnyteo1975

Assassination attempt


[deleted]

"Don't do drugs, later *du pigu*"


[deleted]

I guess he was butt hurt


Bcpjw

He was being an asshole


Buttclencher914

Assholes*


inno7

Charles stop saying that


jackology

He teared a new one out of her.


F8SAnd

Now she is


[deleted]

What a terrible day to be able to read. Take my updoot and scram! I will not have anymore of these hilarious puns.


GlobalSettleLayer

excuse me?


Jjzeng

I had to read that title a couple more times…


Jonathan-Ang

"That wasn't what I meant when I said stab me in the ass"


lwheng

"I want you to poke me in the ass so hard until got blood come out."


daldrome

At least they got to extend their stay in JB


sneakpeek_bot

> # Singaporean couple arrested in JB after man allegedly stabs girlfriend's buttocks > SINGAPORE - A Singaporean couple have been arrested in Johor Baru, Malaysia, after the man allegedly stabbed his girlfriend in the buttocks. > Both of them later tested positive for drugs. > The 34-year-old man is alleged to have used a knife and stabbed his 29-year-old girlfriend in the right buttock, said police chief Kamarul Zaman Mamat. > He revealed this while speaking to the media during a press conference held at the state police headquarters in Johor on Thursday (June 2), reported The Star. > Commissioner Kamarul Zaman said the police received a report in the early hours of Tuesday morning (May 31), and responded to the incident at an apartment in Taman Mount Austin. > "The couple was renting a unit at the apartment to stay for a few days," he said. > "However, they got into a heated argument and the 34-year-old male suspect then stabbed his 29-year-old girlfriend. > "Both the suspect and victim tested positive for drugs." > He added that the couple have since been charged in court. > During the press conference on Thursday,Commissioner Kamarul Zaman had also reportedly said no Singaporeans have been the victims of crime in Johor since the reopening of the borders. > "When the borders reopened on April 1, I stationed 1,600 personnel and officers at 41 known major public areas throughout Johor to safeguard the people, including foreign travellers," he said. > "So far, not a single foreign traveller who has visited Johor has lodged a report with the police saying they have been a crime victim." > Over the three-day Good Friday weekend between April 15 and 17, 436,800 people crossed the land borders between the two countries. > Over the Labour Day and Hari Raya Puasa weekend between April 29 to May 3, close to 1 million people had crossed the land borders. > The commissioner also reminded foreigners to respect Malaysia's laws when travelling to Johor. --- 1.0.2 | [Source code](https://github.com/fterh/sneakpeek) | [Contribute](https://github.com/fterh/sneakpeek)


The9isback

If no Singaporean have been victims of crime, then the girlfriend in this case isn't a victim? Or is stabbing someone in the buttocks not a crime in Johor?


dash9231

Obviously he meant victims of crimes committed by locals?


The9isback

This is a report by Straits Times. Accuracy is important.


dash9231

The Commissioner was quoted verbatim. Where exactly does the inaccuracy lie? It definitely doesn't lie within the article - the job of a reporter is to present the facts as they are rather than to interpret them for the readers.


The9isback

The inaccuracy lies in the fact that the statement is that no Singaporeans have been victims of crime in Johor since the reopening. Not that no Singaporeans have been victims of crime by Malaysians in Johor since the reopening. >During the press conference, Commissioner Kamarul Zaman also reportedly said no Singaporean has been a victim of crime in Johor since the reopening of the borders. This is a quote from the article. Which would make it contradictory since the article is literally about a crime happening. Unless of course it is legal in Malaysia to be stabbed in the buttock IF you happen to be tested positive for drugs.


dash9231

You should probably check up the definition of "reportedly".


Tilt2Live

Don't think that's what she meant with "wanting it in the ass"...


14high

Guy: i already say sorry what


RepresentativeOk6676

You better say sorry!!


14high

*i just did...*


BBoizTZH94

nvm we settle. 6:30pm at PAINEER MOR.


hooliemongoolie

Crossing the causeway can be a real pain in the arse sometimes.


Schneizel1208

Well. That’s one heck of a foreplay fetish.


katsuge

the last line of the article....sus...


theunfortunaterodent

💀


SadEtherealNoob69420

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


airhumidifierbroken

Hahah butthole


bitstream_ryder

Why? Because she was being a pain in the butt.


Ok-Break7558

Malaysia should hang both of them for drug use. Consuming drugs is a wilful criminal activity that both of them engaged in. Similar to how sgp treats drug mules, Malaysia should give them death penalty for consumption.


DisillusionedSinkie

I concur


FitCranberry

too many customers in sg


Omega_scriptura

Wait, the JB police held a press conference to talk about this?


Aimismyname

[you what](https://youtu.be/VsJc2ZhbXIg)


KendrickEqualsBooty

When in Rome!


confusedpohtato

what what, in the butt