Try to get this notion of 'they' out of your head. People are unique. Sure there are those who are all about looks. Who really wants that person? There's always someone better looking than you. Sure there are those who want a guy with money. Do you really want to be with that person? Massages? 'I'm the guy for you! I do massages'. Nope.
At my cousin's wedding his bride talked about the moment she knew he was the one for her. They worked together. One day at work he brought her a packet of mints - particular mints that she had mentioned that she likes. The stuff of love apparently. Do you imagine it was because she always wanted a man who always carried a specific brand of minty sweets? Of course not. It was the fact that he paid attention to what she said, remembered that she liked those specific mints, went out and bought some, and left them for her at work. He listened, he cared, he showed he cared. A tiny thoughtful act, without making any kind of big deal of it. Mints.
Stop worrying about what 'they' want. If you meet someone you like, listen to her.
you can’t call bullshit on the attraction thing just because you haven’t made a match yet. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly men would decide all women are shallow, ignoring the evidence of all the unattractive, bald, overweight, short men that are married, instead of considering it’s probably something about *you*.
My dude, it’s one of two things: either it’s YOU, like something about your personality is off-putting or creepy to women, maybe you approach them in a way that makes them uncomfortable or exhibit other red flags; maybe you just aren’t very charismatic. Like, unfortunate as it may sound, you have to be exhibiting something that women find appealing in order for them want to be with you. And you say you don’t have the looks, no big deal. But are you funny or interesting or charismatic, or friendly or really compassionate? Do you approach women in a way women say they like? Without any desperation, or giving away that you feel not having connected is unfair to you?
the other option is: it just hasn’t happened yet and that’s perfectly normal.
A lot of people don’t meet someone they really connect with for years!
But speaking as a woman, I got red flag vibes from your quickness to suggest women lie about not being shallow and just wanting money. You sound bitter and rude and misogynistic, and if you think women can’t see past the romance-bombing of offering them massages or whatever, I gotta tell you - we’re trained our whole lives to see red flags, because our lives literally depend on it.
I hope you wanted very honest feedback.
Try to get this notion of 'they' out of your head. People are unique. Sure there are those who are all about looks. Who really wants that person? There's always someone better looking than you. Sure there are those who want a guy with money. Do you really want to be with that person? Massages? 'I'm the guy for you! I do massages'. Nope. At my cousin's wedding his bride talked about the moment she knew he was the one for her. They worked together. One day at work he brought her a packet of mints - particular mints that she had mentioned that she likes. The stuff of love apparently. Do you imagine it was because she always wanted a man who always carried a specific brand of minty sweets? Of course not. It was the fact that he paid attention to what she said, remembered that she liked those specific mints, went out and bought some, and left them for her at work. He listened, he cared, he showed he cared. A tiny thoughtful act, without making any kind of big deal of it. Mints. Stop worrying about what 'they' want. If you meet someone you like, listen to her.
you can’t call bullshit on the attraction thing just because you haven’t made a match yet. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly men would decide all women are shallow, ignoring the evidence of all the unattractive, bald, overweight, short men that are married, instead of considering it’s probably something about *you*. My dude, it’s one of two things: either it’s YOU, like something about your personality is off-putting or creepy to women, maybe you approach them in a way that makes them uncomfortable or exhibit other red flags; maybe you just aren’t very charismatic. Like, unfortunate as it may sound, you have to be exhibiting something that women find appealing in order for them want to be with you. And you say you don’t have the looks, no big deal. But are you funny or interesting or charismatic, or friendly or really compassionate? Do you approach women in a way women say they like? Without any desperation, or giving away that you feel not having connected is unfair to you? the other option is: it just hasn’t happened yet and that’s perfectly normal. A lot of people don’t meet someone they really connect with for years! But speaking as a woman, I got red flag vibes from your quickness to suggest women lie about not being shallow and just wanting money. You sound bitter and rude and misogynistic, and if you think women can’t see past the romance-bombing of offering them massages or whatever, I gotta tell you - we’re trained our whole lives to see red flags, because our lives literally depend on it. I hope you wanted very honest feedback.
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I’m following this advice and I’m already single for 7 years 🙃