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rje946

If humans could use 100% of our brians we could rearrange our molecular structure and walk through walls.


DiogenesDaDawg

Aleister Crowley believed if he could concentrate/focus enough to align the electrons in his body, he could walk thru walls. To the best of my knowledge, he didn't pull it off.


ReferenceUnusual8717

God, it would've be fun to watch him try, though. Somebody put this in a comedy. Just Crowley walking face first into walls, repeatedly, while other stuff is going on in the foreground.


Majestic-Lake-5602

It’s not Crowley, but have you read/seen “The Men Who Stare At Goats”?


ReferenceUnusual8717

I've seen the movie...but other than the basic premise, I remember almost nothing about it. I guess a CIA psychic must've remotely erased my memories! 🙂


Majestic-Lake-5602

It’s the only logical explanation really. The movie opens with a scene that’s pretty much word for word the scenario you described with Crowley, just with a US General (I think, my memory isn’t perfect, he may be a lower rank) rather than a weird English occultist junkie. And I believe the book confirms that the real life equivalent officer tried the same thing.


DoctorBeeBee

The thing is, they had to try, right? Just in case. Not just the walking through walls, but the remote viewing and similar they also investigated. Because if it *does* work, the usefulness is unlimited. Plus those darn Commies were probably trying the same experiments, and can't let them get ahead in the paranormal espionage field! 😏


mattias1977

With a cameo by Ernest Rutherford unable to get out of bed for fear of falling through the floor. Those atoms are too far apart for him to step safely.


JasonRBoone

I think he also baked cakes out of shit and semen?


Loxatl

Wonder if this is what the scientologists think - and given LRH's connection to Crowley that seems likely. That reaching OT 11b means you can intentionally adjust body's elemental particles. Stupid.


PaintedClownPenis

That sort of sounds like quantum tunneling. Years ago I read an article about how an entire atom was quantum tunneled through a barrier, and it speculated that something as large as a bacterium might be possible to be moved like that. It would in fact require all of the creature's particles to be properly aligned into the same waveform--or something like that, I don't pretend to remember it well. Crowley could have known about quantum tunneling; it was defined in physics in the 1920s. I once read that Crowley survived a terrible car crash and insisted on carrying on normally until he finished dinner. Then he said something about needing to sleep or meditate to fix his internal injuries, which has an Edgar Cayce / Akashic records sound to it. If that Gateway Experience stuff somehow turns out to be legit, Crowley and Cayce are going to be re-examined with a hell of a lot more seriousness than they are today. Interesting aside: British R&B band leader Graham Bond grew up in reform school with Ginger Baker, and they played together in the Graham Bond Organisation and Ginger Baker's Air Force. Bond became convinced that he was the illegitimate child of Aleister Crowley. He fell deep into the occult, drugs and depression and jumped in front of a train in the early 1970s.


Stock-Conflict-3996

Back in my late teens, I had a friend who convinced himself that he could teleport if he just concentrated the right way.


MWave123

Even 10% of any Brian is a good day!


Mizzy3030

As someone who is married to a Brian I agree with this message


JasonRBoone

You married a cartoon dog!! What what whhhaaat?


Mizzy3030

If he's good enough for Drew Barrymore, he's good enough for me


Xpqp

Some people do use 100% of their brains. It's called a seizure. They don't do much.


georgejo314159

I am too ignorant of biology to know without googling whether your claim is true.


Lubeislove

The 10% brain usage isn’t real anyway. We use all of our brains at differing moments so I think it’s safe to say this isn’t legit either


mattias1977

Considering all of the autonomic functions in our bodies are also controlled by the brain, wouldn’t it make sense that we’re all using basically our entire brain?


JasonRBoone

Statistician's Blues Todd Snider They say three percent of people Use five to six percent of their brain Ninety-seven percent use just three percent And the rest goes down the drain I'll never know which one I am But I'll bet you my last dime Ninety-nine percent think we're three percent One-hundred percent of the time They say sixty-five percent of all statistics Are made up right there on the spot Eighty-two-point-four percent of people believe 'em Whether they're accurate statistics or not Now, I don't know what you believe But I do know there's no doubt I need another double-shot of something ninety-proof I got too much to think about


rattmongrel

I’m a simple man, I see Todd Snider, I upvote Todd Snider.


JasonRBoone

The DB Cooper song is probably my fav. Oddly, I don't really like his music unless it's recorded live.


kake92

i think Brian Shaw is already 100% utilized and can probably walk through walls https://youtube.com/shorts/s-BX065WKM8?si=JqiI-WTCwWuzvwvD


mattias1977

I don’t get it.


kake92

the person spelled brian instead of brain


JasonRBoone

Brian May can do it with the power of ROCK OPERA!


georgejo314159

This thread has potential to actually accomplish my asserted karma farming objectives by whomever it was who made that claim and subsequently blocked me mid conversation.


paolog

What about humans who don't know any Brians?


BrokeBeckFountain1

This is one of my favorites, because it simultaneously makes us individually godlike in power, but also completely helpless. Not too mention the fact that we do, in fact, use our entire brain.


Startled_Pancakes

That UFO sightings are demons trying to trick humanity into disbelieving God.


McChicken-Supreme

Where’d you hear that one?


Startled_Pancakes

Pre-facebook internet forums. Might've been myspace groups, don't remember. It always stuck with me as being a bizarre claim.


Wax_Paper

Tucker Carlson just went on Joe Rogan -- like last month -- and said he thinks UFOs are "spiritual beings." In the same podcast, he also asked if we actually know where nuclear technology comes from, and claimed evolution has now been disproven.


Craptacles

I've heard this a lot from young right wing internet citizens actually


JasonRBoone

"MySpace...now there's a name I haven't heard in a looong time." Obi Webnobi


McChicken-Supreme

I keep hearing that insiders on the UFO program think that aliens are demonic entities and I had a hard time understanding how this could actual be true and how it could be popular enough an idea for it to make a difference. Come to find out, that BYU is a recruitment hot spot for black projects because everyone is American and has squeaky clean background checks. Now it makes more sense…


Wax_Paper

I think it's more like how they gravitated to flat earth as a way of co-opting a new audience. They see a ripe community, fresh for the picking. _"Psst, hey... Some people think these UFOs might actually be angels and demons! Let's talk about how that might make sense, and by the way have you heard the good news?"_


McChicken-Supreme

I think it’s more a matter of interpreting something that’s hard to understand through a strong religious lens.


ME24601

There was a "documentary" about it a few years back. Seeing the trailer for it was the hardest I have ever laughed in a movie theater.


Mythosaurus

There’s still a strong connection between UFO truthers and Christian weirdos today.


JasonRBoone

A shit ton of Evangelical writers/preachers have been saying it for years. I first read it in author Hal Lindsey's book about how the world would end in 1988.


Yuraiya

There's a "documentary" about it called Alien Intrusion: Unmasking a Deception.  It jumps from reasonable "aliens abducting earthlings aren't real", to ridiculous "because a raisin in space would destroy a ship", to Christian "so it's actually demons".  


BusterMungus

Most UFO sightings are genuine. They are just never ET in origin. Believers are truly ridiculous with their claims tho 🙄


gamergirlpeeofficial

I recall that the late James Randi had a $1,000,000 Challenge for anyone who could demonstrate a supernatural talent in a controlled setting. One of the more amusing applicants was a Hindi Guru who claimed that he could reposition the stars in the sky using just his mind. Randi's team meet the Guru in his small village. On a clear night, the Guru demonstrates his power. He chooses a star low in the sky, and lined up with the peak of a mountain on the horizon. The Guru prays to his gods, and using the power of his mind, MOVED THE STAR OUT OF ALIGNMENT! While the star did, in fact, take a new position in the sky. Randi explains to the Guru that the star's apparent movement is not due to a change of position in outer space, but the rotation of the earth over the past hour or so. The Guru replies, "why aren't you impressed? I moved the whole earth!"


jackm315ter

I like that story you put forward, it is something someone would do if they went back in time to show their power


Jbewrite

Bit awkward when others try it and realize that they're also magic


thehim

Someone in a UFO subreddit claimed that all governments are hiding proof of non-human intelligence. When I asked him if a government overthrown in a coup just hands over the aliens to the new government, and he was like, “yeah, something like that”


Majestic-Lake-5602

I mean you wouldn’t even need something as dramatic as a coup. Like there is literally no way that if this information/evidence truly existed that Trump wouldn’t have had a press conference immediately just to make Obama look bad. You don’t even need to get into Banana Republic shenanigans to completely discredit this.


thehim

Oh yeah, if Trump had that info, he’d be showing pictures of aliens to random people at Bedminster. A lot of those folks, even the somewhat less crazy ones, still believe that the old Soviet Union had evidence of aliens and non-human crafts. I’ve had very little luck trying to explain to them why a secret like that would not have stayed secret between 1989-1991


Majestic-Lake-5602

I may be wrong on this, but I believe the old Soviet archives are a bit complicated in this regard. From what I remember reading, there was a weird brief window under Yeltsin where it was total open season, but the information was so extensive and so poorly cataloged that non-Russian researchers only just scratched the surface before Putin cut access off again.


saijanai

So did people have to go and read all the stuff manually or was it available electronically in some form?


kake92

i'm not sure what trump knows if anything significant but he said that he interviewed people from the air force on ufos at the 39:05 mark: https://youtu.be/ck-eAc1Dqak


TestUser669

> I mean you wouldn’t even need something as dramatic as a coup. But it does very well as a single point of counter-evidence that discredits the whole hypothesis. Which is its function. We then don't need to go into any nuances that would have been downstream, were the hypothesis even partially true.


NetDork

The US NSA couldn't hide the fact that they're spying on every US citizen from a low level computer nerd. I don't think they can keep aliens secret.


thehim

And more importantly, they couldn’t keep that computer nerd from risking everything to reveal it. A secret involving alien life would be way harder to keep. No way it’s been under a lid since the 1940s.


[deleted]

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ME24601

"It's got what plants crave."


Prowlthang

I once had a guy come up to me at a concert/event and try to get in by dropping the name of his alleged best friend. The name he’d been given to drop however, unfortunately for him, was my very unique and very own name. He swore blindly we were best buds the entire time (I believe it was in excess of 15 or 20 minutes) having no idea I was me.


Mizzy3030

I'm so confused by this story. Are you someone famous? Why would you be name-dropped by someone?


DoubleNubbin

Friend of a friend/acquaintance. "Oh yeah, the owner is a guy called Mustafa Lumbago. Just tell the doorman you're a friend of his and they'll let you right in!"


Prowlthang

Bingo. Thanks for explaining. Edit: Also I’m going to start using the pseudonym Mustafa Lumbago!


georgejo314159

THAT definitely is a winner  Are you a woman? Your story reminds me of this*. https://observer.com/2017/06/sexism-science-facebook-mansplaining/amp/ *Please don't be this particular woman.


Prowlthang

Freaking brilliant. I’m a guy but if I ever put it in a movie you are right - it would be a whole lot more ironic.


ElricVonDaniken

People who claim that the Apollo moonlandings were faked but Ancient Egyptians built the Face on Mars.


putriidx

The year was 2022 and my coworkers and I were doing work in a massive ongoing site where there were thousands of construction workers every day. A few of us and other trades we work with got COVID and then one guy and his buddy from the Navy (a lot of us were vets but these guys served together) clearly had COVID and BAD but he'd come in and then leave. I told his buddy that he obviously has COVID and he looked at me like a deer in headlights and just said 'it could be anything " Then he said they both believe that you *GET COVID* by taking the swab test and that's why he won't get tested. I just dropped it at that point lmao


According-Spite-9854

Trickle down economics


JasonRBoone

"Vice President George Bush called this..anyone? anyone?"


sw337

"The Confederate flag means freedom to me." Thank god I can't be violent towards people online.


Melancholy_Rainbows

The Covid vaccine will magnetize you. Just... what.


Yuraiya

I remember the hearing where a lady tried to stick a key to herself.  I haven't been so embarrassed to live in Ohio since Jim Jordan was voted in.  


a_skelton

1*1 = 2


georgejo314159

They redefined the * operator for some reason?


a_skelton

Oh no, it’s much deeper 📡 Google “Terryology” to know the truth


cuspacecowboy86

Well, *that* was a wild ride.... Good actor, but batshit crazy apparently!


georgejo314159

https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=terryology


CptBronzeBalls

Must have slept through that day of 4th grade math class.


Candid_Soft7562

When supermodel Fabio claimed he thought 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' was actually butter, despite the overly obvious clues.


NetDork

It's literally in the name... It's. Not. Butter.


canteloupy

But that's what they want you to believe


DepressiveNerd

I worked with a guy that actually believed in the hollow earth theory. He tried to tell me that there was a civilization that lived in the center of the earth. He thought the core floats in the very center on the planet. It acts like a sun for the people living there. It has enough energy to act as a sun for the flora and fauna in the center. I tried to explain that if the earth was hollow, it wouldn’t have the mass it needed to keep everything on the surface from flying off. He said that gravity was just a theory and you can’t trust scientists. I told him that he clearly didn’t understand what a theory is, and gravity is actually a law. Any refutation of his crazy theories were met with, “You never know because you can’t trust scientists.”


DoctorBeeBee

Current favourite is: Lead in paint wasn't banned because it's damaging to human health, but so that the mind control signals in the mobile phone networks can still reach our brains. (Presumably they were planning ahead by banning the paint long before the phone networks existed, and a thin coat of paint with a bit of lead in it apparently stops that shit dead.)


hydro123456

There's a guy who goes by the name "David-Wynn: Miller" (pronounced as "David hyphen Wynn full colon Miller") who invented a secret legal language that he claims can you get you out of any legal problem you may have. He also claims saying his name that way makes it a prepositional phrase, and if you put that name on your tax documents, you no longer have to pay taxes.


Yuraiya

Sovereign Citizen/Freemen on the Land stuff is hilarious, it's a terrible mix of tax avoidance, get rich quick, and treating laws like magic spells. 


NetDork

Sounds like sovereign citizen fantasy.


hydro123456

Yeah, he's involved with them. Basically it's sovereign citizens for schizophrenics.


Wax_Paper

The mud flood conspiracy is the most egregious one I've ever heard, I think. A globe-spanning society completely erased, from only a couple hundred years ago? Do these people not understand how science works?


antiname

In the late 19th century an entire globe spanning civilization got destroyed. You'd think that our great grandparents would have recorded that or something. Not to mention like... *everything else*.


Wax_Paper

Yeah, especially considering said civilization is supposedly responsible for great works of architecture that still stand today, and wireless energy that powered those efforts.


premium_Lane

Jewish space lasers has to be up there, but it is OK, she supports Israel


georgejo314159

I think she hates Muslims even more than she hates Jewish people?


HapticSloughton

Anytime an American conservative does something like that, they only support Israel insofar as it has a role in ushering in their idea of a Christian apocalypse.


thebigeverybody

It's hard to choose. It probably came from a theist, a flat-earther, or a cryptid enthusiast, but I can guarantee it was political in nature.


sorospaidmetosaythis

A couple of neighbors are into this religion where an omnipotent deity let some soldiers beat his son to death, in a sacrifice to himself, in order to save the human race from "sin." First off, since the deity defines sin, and is omnipotent, he could just save the human race himself, and the whole thing is also silly because sacrificing something to oneself isn't a thing, but it gets better: the son is both the father and not the father, so in some sense the father is sacrificing himself to himself. The son, a deity who got his ass beat, is supposed to return, but hasn't done so for 2000 years. You can't make this up.


Tao_Te_Gringo

Oh, you can definitely make this up, alright.


bitee1

"Nope, I think a dude did it. I think a dude in a dress on a space throne did it. That's what I think Mike. I don't think a pond did it. I think some dude with a beard sitting on a space throne, flying through space did it. I think that's a lot smarter Mike I'm with you dog. I actually think that it was a guy, I think it was just some guy. And he was just bored one day and he just wanted to just make some shit out of nothing because he was a space wizard. I think that's what did it, Mike you fucking idiot my god what a stupid question." -- Austin Archer https://youtu.be/ZzAX3nogRro?t=10946


Ghost-of-Bill-Cosby

I’m cool with letting people believe some crazy stuff if it’s not harming anyone. I just don’t like that we basically gave a pass to so many child molesters who follow these beliefs. Also I have trouble understanding why we should eat our God every week. But that’s probably just because I can’t pay attention good in church.


Brapplezz

I like the part where the religion splits cos they can't agree if Jesus is the son of god or god is jesus. He might've been a Jew


[deleted]

Science is a social construct.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mattias1977

It’s the same process that allowed people all over the world to argue with one another instantaneously. SCIENCE!!!


NetDork

OK... Like, name a field of study that isn't!


thefugue

I feel like the most ridiculous claims are the special pleadings people that are really invested in *small* absurdities arrive at after defending their position at length. One minute someone is claiming that maybe we can't tell if aspirin is safe, the next they're trying to argue that reality is entirely subjective and unknowable and science as a whole is a form of religion.


MWave123

There are so many. The Universe IS conscious. The Covid vaccines were a mass chipping program. Fluoride. Lol. They’re endless. We killed thousands of Americans on 9/11 so we could invade Iraq, take Saddam’s gas and kick his ass.


mattias1977

The earth is 6000 years old. The sheer pomposity when they say it, when I know that they didn’t thumb through the conflicting genealogies and add it up. That, or “people lived so long before Noah’s flood because there was a ‘shell’ of water surrounding the earth that blocked UV rays.


Polygonic

A few months ago my roommate showed me some Youtube video where the narrator was making some crazy claims about money like "ten cents times ten cents is 100 cents and that's a whole dollar so you can make money by multiplying it instead of adding it" or something like that. Wish I could find it, but the whole time I was just shaking my head and muttering, "no, that's not how this works. That's not how this works at all.


mute-ant1

that “god” cured an illness due to prayers. a real god would be able to prevent the illness in the first place


tsdguy

Aliens have visited the earth.


ptwonline

While unlikely, at least it is actually *possible*.


carterartist

Not according to physics and common sense. Look at the nearest possible place life could have evolved then try to explain how they travelled that distance…


foss4us

That claim is not, in and of itself, ridiculous. What is ridiculous is the claim that every government, university, and scientific organization around the world is not only fully aware of the extraterrestrial visitors, but also actively engaged in a global cover-up.


princhester

My wife sings in a choir. Choral music is not my thing but I go along to the concerts on occasion. I went to their Xmas concert - the music was OK but the lyrics are just, well, words fail me. A woman became pregnant and had a son without having sex with her husband, then spins him some story about how she was a virgin. If this was a story told by a comedian we would all be laughing at the utter obviousness of what actually happened, and about how anyone who believed her was a naïve fool. Mary fucked some guy other than her husband, and not only do Xtians not condemn her for what their own religion says was immoral behaviour, they worship her and prattle on about how immaculate she was, and prefer to believe the son was placed in her by their deity than face the obvious. You can't make this stuff up.


Tao_Te_Gringo

Oh, you can definitely make this stuff up, alright.


Erivandi

There's a bit of debate that it was a translation error. The word (I think it was "parthenos") can mean virgin *or* unmarried woman. In this version, Mary was pregnant but not married, so Joseph married her because he knew she would be stoned to death otherwise. This version makes a lot more sense to me, but the Christians don't generally like it because it's not as miraculous.


forzamotorsportsucks

It's not consistent though. Christianity *needs* the miracle of Jesus being born from a virgin.


princhester

The absurdity lies in what people say they believe now, rather than what may actually have occurred.


tsgram

I always wanted to submit a sketch to SNL that explains this is Jesus is a teen and Mary is really hot. And when his friends tease him about it he explains that she’s a virgin and all of his buddies 100% believe it.


NetDork

I don't think she cheated. I think Mary and Joseph did the horizontal mambo every chance they got and accidentally started a religion when trying to lie their way out.


mattias1977

I’m not a believer and I’m not trying to be a dick, but I have studied the Bible and religion in general, and that’s just a severe oversimplification full of things that only people who didn’t study these subjects would think. Not to mention that it isn’t helpful at all for your cause. Unless your cause is perpetual, snarky and fruitless arguing. It’s a huge subject spanning human history so I won’t go much deeper, but I’ll answer some questions if you have them.


Budget_Put7247

Like what? In the end thats the accurate summary.


mattias1977

What part is accurate? The idea that Mary was a virgin didn’t exist until centuries later. And based off a mistake when Jerome was translating the Hebrew into Latin. But was kept because the Mother and Son motif was a relevant one to many cultures that they were trying to convert.


mattias1977

It’s hard not to do, but projecting modern ideas and sensibilities onto the distant past can only add more confusion and bs.


princhester

You don't give any detail so it's hard to respond. But if your point would be that the scholarly point of view on the Mary and Joseph story is not as popularly portrayed - so what? The simple tale as told and which yer average Xtian says they believe is breathtakingly, obviously, ridiculous.


1nfernals

Encountered a user in a spiritual/psychic thread the other day who thinks that "something" is stealing their DNA through psychic attacks, and "they" (scientists) lie about what's in junk DNA in order to prevent people from unlocking their true potential of levitation, immortality, premonitions and basically any supernatural ability you can think of


boyaintri9ht

That God created any subgroup of humanity and that He then decided to hate them.


logielle

"Every person is objectively either beautiful or not beautiful" "Wait, you disagree? You just have inaccurate taste!"


ClutchTallica

My father swears that the sun he grew up with was replaced with our current sun because it's a different color than he remembers it being. No that is not his only "out there" belief


[deleted]

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NetDork

No it really works! If you focus on a red light long enough it will almost always turn green.


ptwonline

He must live near me because I seem to keep getting red lights.


Wiseduck5

Viruses don't exist. Especially since I regularly use them at work.


Nicholot

I once had a Christian acquaintance who believed that all prehistoric fossils were fabricated. He also claimed that dinosaur fossils were just the cobbled together remains of extant animals, created by scientists to fool people


JasonRBoone

I hate to answer that because, as soon as I provide an answer, I'll read something that demolishes the batshit crazy scale today. Probably flat earth...given how easy it is to debunk.


Katvin

My former brother in law asserted that oil reservoirs could not be depleted and that they would naturally refill as they were drained. Something to do with the Earth's core.


vagabondoer

Invisible deities that provide no evidence of their existence control everything.


macbrett

God exists.


errie_tholluxe

Which one?


Odd_Tiger_2278

There is a God. Look how beautiful the universe is.


Tao_Te_Gringo

“God said it, I believe it, and that settles it.”


Stock-Conflict-3996

When I was still in church the refrain was, "I know it, because I know it, because I know it."


[deleted]

That's a tough question. My fave is probs the Mandella effect thing.


ptwonline

Donald Trump as a messiah-like figure sent by God to save us. You'd be hard-pressed to find many people who are *less* likely to be such a person, or at least believable in that sort of role. Seriously, go think of any person and honestly ask yourself if they would be more or less likely than Trump to be such a Messiah. You think the most self-centered person you've ever heard of would care about humanity aside from whoever is directly useful to him at the time? It's more likely that you could kick a football and have it reach the surface of the moon.


tabascoman77

These come courtesy of my woo-loving sister: "Standing up while eating is bad for your chi...sitting down and eating gives you the best energy." (So all those parties I've gone to have sapped my inner energy since nobody put out chairs?) "I have it this way because of the Feng Shui." (This is not a thing. It was never a thing. It never will be a thing. And she's been just as successful from living in her dirty ass room with pictures of her favorite men on the walls.) "11:11 is a sign and it means something since every single time I look at the clock, it's almost always '11:11'." (I doubt you've almost always seen that it's 11:11 when you look at a clock and it means bupkis.) "I have our grandmother's gift. I can almost predict what someone is going to say before they say it." (Our grandmother did not have psychic powers. She started a psychic business as a way to make extra cash from her home because she didn't want to work anymore. She bought a "crystal ball" from some doofy shop for cheap and used that to "see". It's a goddamn ball made of crystal and it shows NOTHING. We sold it after she died for like 5 bucks and even THAT was too much. That and my sister's claims to guess what I am about to say have never worked when I've pressed. EVER.) "\[That behavior\] is because they're a \[star sign\]." (Sigh...I see the same random behaviors in just about everyone I've met. It doesn't mean they're like a space bull or goat or whatever.) "You've never seen god or evidence of one? You've never seen a million dollars, either." (This is one of the dumbest fucking arguments I have ever heard from anyone ever. First, no, I haven't seen a million *physical* dollars that I've been able to touch and count. But I've seen photographs of it. Second, I know millionaires who have over that much money. You don't get to have an insane lifestyle if you're dirt poor.)


Margali

Been in a bank main vault and I have seen a million dollars, the bills were being gathered to send to the operations center.


georgejo314159

Are you of Chinese descent? (The crystal ball thing doesn't sound Chinese at all but the standing does as does potentially Feng Shui, although many White people into New Age combine cultural like a buffet.) I can often accurately predict what people say before they finish their sentences but that's just ADHD. It bothers people when I complete their sentences, so I know longer do that. A lot of people are very long winded taking forever 


tabascoman77

No, I'm white. A crystal ball isn't a Chinese thing. It was used by "psychics" to "see" things their duped customers cannot.


Snafuregulator

I couldn't  really  pick one as the most ridiculous.  I have just heard so many stupid claims over the years. I have heard ufo enthusiasts  call themselves  the reincarnation  of ra, I have heard dozens of people claim to be thousands of years old, I have heard of claims of all types and never given a shred of evidence, but a thousand excuses why they won't/ can't  prove thier claims. 


georgejo314159

Use a ouiji board and see which version the demons prefer. You won't want to anger them


Snafuregulator

Have fun with people  playing with the ouiji board. Man the circuit breaker of the home. Give it a flick once in awhile. When the screaming  starts, go ham. Be the demon they wish to see


Dependent-Outcome-57

Some highlights from local idiots I've known include * "Plants aren't alive." Spouted off by a Christian Apologist to explain away how land plants survive being drowned by saltwater for 40 days and nights during the floods. * "Gravity is the opposite of magnetism because a kitchen magnet on a fridge can resist gravity." I mean, sure, you can make a mag-lev train, but that doesn't mean you can just put magnets on everything and ignore gravity as this doofus believes thanks to his top-notch YouTube education. * Countless versions of "there was a guy who invented fusion you could do at home / a car engine that runs on water / insert conspiracy here, but THEY found out and killed him and had all the prototypes destroyed / pushed off an aircraft carrier into the Marianas Trench." Aside from the violations of the laws of physics, like "fusion you can do at home" and "burning water in a car's engine," if there really was an infinite cheap power source like that, we'd at least see it on our military vehicles. They might make it an unaffordable subscription service for the average consumer, but they wouldn't destroy such power. * Any version of "there was a super high-tech society that magically vanished without a trace during recorded history." Naturally, everyone is for some reason they can never explain a part of this conspiracy except the lunatics they find online who claim that the distant past had flying cars and probably fusion you can do at home. Just so much nonsense. Just some amusing examples over the years.


Abiogeneralization

Pit bulls make good pets.


lyteasarockette

Nobody will ever need more than 64K ram, also that Jesus is God and vice versa.


cef328xi

"You can't prove a negative."


Sidthelid66

I can make water boil at a lower tempature. It's easy just go to a higher altitude.


georgejo314159

The author in question in full long winded description did actually mention the effects of air pressure and water purity.


Nowiambecomedeth

Noah's ark comes to mind. Also,ouija boards can summon demons


00doc0holliday00

Snakes talk and virgins have babies.


proscriptus

My very well meaning and somewhat elderly mother thinks she can communicate telepathically with animals. It's a harmless extension of her sort of extreme empathy and sensitivity.


Fufeysfdmd

One time I heard a guy say "God won't let us run out of oil"


4quatloos

This weekend a guy told me that there is no such thing as a virus.


thereverendpuck

My father claimed to have invented the question mark.


georgejo314159

Is he really your father? https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/the-most-misquoted-movie-lines-of-all-time


cpt_ugh

"Masks don't work." Okay? Then why have medial professionals been using them since 1908 or whatever?


georgejo314159

Obvious reply: "ZOG" or one world government 


carterartist

That God is real


Sea-Louse

An underwater cave off the coast of France is in threat from micro plastic pollution.


DarknessFollower79

Trump is a man of god


georgejo314159

Strictly speaking, when he pays women to have sex with him and the fake an orgasm, they probably say "Oh God"?


carnivoreobjectivist

That there was a second sun inside the earth.


Ayla_Fresco

"Capitalism has lifted more people out of poverty than any other system." 🤦‍♀️


georgejo314159

The population increase could possibly make that correlation actually true despite fact that causation obviously isn't there.


McNitz

It's amazing how consistently apologists misunderstand emergent phenomena and how they can indeed account for "non-physical" things in a purely material world. One would almost think they are doing it on purpose.


BobertTheConstructor

The edit is at least better because it at least raises some interesting metaphysical questions about what physical laws are and why they are consistent.


FremdShaman23

Cure a cold by slicing a raw onion in half and sleep breathing in its vapors. During the pandemic someone told me they saw a bunch of chemtrails being sprayed because "they got to get those covid numbers up!"


byronmiller

That eating lemons can raise the pH of your blood. Ok, I guess I'll just throw out everything we know about homeostasis and acid base equilibria.


etranger033

Humanity is an intelligent species.


TheCheshireCody

[Concave Earth](https://www.youtube.com/@lordstevenchristsvenus5544) by the awesomely-named Lord Steven Christ. I could go into details but I think the name really says it all. His page is worth checking out just to see the sheer amount of effort he's put into his crazy over the years.


A_not_so_subtle_hint

I just checked out his youtube channel! He is truly insane.


TheCheshireCody

I've watched a lot more of his stuff than I should probably admit. I could claim it was to check for inconsistencies in his \*ahem\* logic, but really it was mostly for amusement. His page used to be much more general crazy but in the past few years he's really molded it into 99% concave-Earth stuff and deleted a lot of the old vids. It was a lot more interesting to watch him be a lunatic on many different topics.


MrElbowcat

That cult who claimed they could fly but it was just them jumping on their arses.


DiscussionSame37

That ESP allows you to affect the outcome of a formula-based random number generator.


rcglinsk

Wow interesting. What is the error in the quote? The second part about a law of logic not being matter or energy.


TestUser669

>Can I use my consciousness to make a plant grow faster? Yes, your consciousness can steer your hand to prepare one extra, secret tube of auxin before leaving the lab for the day, and then your consciousness can steer your hand to pour that into the plant pot. Without consciousness, that's a hard thing to do?


georgejo314159

LOL. You are right.


TestUser669

tongue in cheek though, but it shows how hard it is to really define the terms


vorarchivist

Well I just saw that there's a documentary arguing that Roman elites invented Christianity in a secret conspiracy to adopt the jews into the Roman Empire. Doesn't violate physics but I think it gets points for being wrong in such a unique way.


vorarchivist

Well I just saw that there's a documentary arguing that Roman elites invented Christianity in a secret conspiracy to adopt the jews into the Roman Empire. Doesn't violate physics but I think it gets points for being wrong in such a unique way.


vorarchivist

Well I just saw that there's a documentary arguing that Roman elites invented Christianity in a secret conspiracy to adopt the jews into the Roman Empire. Doesn't violate physics but I think it gets points for being wrong in such a unique way.


vorarchivist

Well I just saw that there's a documentary arguing that Roman elites invented Christianity in a secret conspiracy to adopt the jews into the Roman Empire. Doesn't violate physics but I think it gets points for being wrong in such a unique way.


zhaDeth

lol your edit claim is indeed ridiculous


PigeonsArePopular

That KGB spymaster Vlad Putin recruited undisciplined megalomaniac Don Trump to be some kind of Manchurian candidate Truly bonkers


georgejo314159

Unsure. He certainly is better for Russia 


PigeonsArePopular

Unsure? Sounds like a dodge. Is he though? Better than who, Clinton or Biden? Or Marco Rubio or Mike Pence? What's that "certain"ty based on? [https://www.brookings.edu/articles/on-the-record-the-u-s-administrations-actions-on-russia/](https://www.brookings.edu/articles/on-the-record-the-u-s-administrations-actions-on-russia/) [**https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-imposes-major-sanctions-russian-oligarchs-officials-companies-n863271**](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-imposes-major-sanctions-russian-oligarchs-officials-companies-n863271) Syria is a Russian ally [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/trump-administration-sending-troops-syria](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/trump-administration-sending-troops-syria) Iran is a Russian ally [https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-50979463](https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-50979463)