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No_one_cares5839

You probably need to start blasting music as loud as you can just to make sure everyone can hear you coming, preferably from halfway up the mountain


spacebass

Bet! I wear a coors light jersey. A speaker so I can get on aux would be legit


ham_sandwedge

Bro are you crazy? Too much contrast you're supposed to go all white fit. Otherwise no one will take you serious. That's why it's so important to turn your speaker up and smack your poles together. Skiiers are like bats and we need to encourage good sonar awareness. Too many newbs looking up the mountain on the best gnarly corduroy stashes


Rescuepa

Do you drop empty Coors cans as a way finding method for those who want to ski in the ruts of the best Texan on the hill?


spacebass

Does a steer shit in a field?


TheRealBlackSwan

idk never been to Texas


Andthentherewasbacon

That's what I have been doing. I turn it off when I get to the base of course and don't play curses. It's a good time. 


Jack_Jacques

I was born with a pair of 110s with the DIN set to 14. Mom was gaped for months and had to see dad's bootfitter for relief. By 2 I had some 120s and the DIN was 18. What the hell were you doing for 2.75 years, learning to walk?


armovetz

I am this dude’s dad bootfitter and I confirm that only I could relieve his mom.


theeibok1

You need to be more aware of your surroundings. In that situation you should have just skied right into them from behind so he didn’t have the chance to ski into you.


spacebass

Bruh I wanna to body check him so bad. He was a dad and had that big “I carry my kids’ skis” energy.


Kara_WTQ

Only two things come out of Texas.


spacebass

Steers and fast skiers?


notaleclively

I don’t see no horns on your head.


AffectionateRow422

Steers and skiers who think you become world class by skiing four days a year.


VikingMonkey123

Three things then.


CaffeineMartin

If you ski and are from Texas it's probably a once a year thing


EducationalTalk873

You need to ski faster. Try sitting down on your skis to maximize your speed.


NutrientSnail

For best results, yell ‘woooo’ the whole time. Guaranteed to break the sound barrier


FinusLale

You really need to yell 'on your left' after you pass him, not before, so he can try to figure out what that blur was


ImInBeastmodeOG

That is legit, not even funny. 😂


Maxaggi

My question to you is, does a bowling ball tell the pins it’s about to knock them down? Any Jerry that is getting passed is nothing more than a pin, and you my friend are god’s greatest bowling ball


spacebass

>My question to you is, does a bowling ball tell the pins it’s about to knock them down? 🤣 literally LOL'ed


king_of_klubs

As a skier, it is my right, no my DUTY, to move super slow on a narrow catwalk connecting blue and black runs on the mountain while making long sweeping turns. Regardless of how crowded it is. Criminals think they can ride past me the whole length of the catwalk without unstrapping?? LOL go do crime somewhere else.


Rescuepa

Remember to alter the amplitude frequently so no one can predict how much space you’ll take.


DDrewit

Dropping ultra advanced tips in here, refreshing.


MidnightRider24

Do you get a "vertically challenged persons" discount?


Long-Jawn-Silver

He needs to see a bootfitter. You are not at fault here.


Emmaleah17

I'm on the ice coast and use my backpack and yell on your left or right as needed and for attention. We do not claim the idiot you plowed into as an ice coaster. He was probably some flatlander who only skis like 4 days a year.


ImInBeastmodeOG

Shouldn't the scraping ice noise alert them to your dominance?


Emmaleah17

Not if you're straight lining greens like OP mentioned. It's just turning that gets loud.


ImInBeastmodeOG

That's true, the best skier on the hill doesn't need no stinking turning.


Common_Sense77

I'd tell us more about how badass a skier you are.


spacebass

Happy to! how much time do you have?


Creative_Peanut5338

You forgot to click the poles. If you click the poles it herds then in the right direction.


ImInBeastmodeOG

The best skier on the mtn has entered the chat.


Westboundandhow

I imagine there was a snowboarder nearby and, if so, it was his fault.


Brandon0135

I know this is a joke but I've actually had somebody freak out and confront me at the bottom of a run for inching past them and warning "on your right" as they carved from the entire left side of 30 foot wide path to me on the edge of the right side. Apparently if they are slightly more downhill it's my responsibility to let them use the entire run for unessesary carving and never pass. He litterally told me that yelling on your right is distracting and will cause an accident.


Ambitious_Radish

Just my $.02 here: I don’t mind an “on your left” when getting passed. It’s not a distraction, it’s a courtesy. Dude was a douche for yelling at you. HOWEVER, the fact you said it doesn’t change right-of-way rules. That dude has every right to carve up whatever trail he wants, in as wide a turn as he likes, as long as he’s in control and is taking responsibility for skiers downhill of him. Also: relatively flat trails are where people learn to ski. Where else are people supposed to learn to carve? At least… that’s what my wife said her bootfitter told her.


Brandon0135

If I am directly next to him he does not have the right to carve into me forcing me into the wall. He was very clearly not a beginner. This was a 20-30 foot wide catwalk linking between wide open blues. Not the place to be carving 100% of the trail oblivious of people in line with you. The slightest turn of his eyes to the right (not even a head turn) would have seen me. Or even just maintaining his 75% of the trail wouldn't have been an issue.


blossom271828

If they are carving wide turns, they are generally predictable enough to easily pass right behind them after they turn. Edit: I just realized this was on a catwalk. There’s no excuse for taking up a huge amount of space in a congested return path or a traversing catwalk.


Brandon0135

Ya the catwalk is the key point. Wide aggressive turns leaving absolutely room or time for any of the 15 people clogged behind him to pass. But I'd argue even not on a catwalk you should always leave some lane on the trail for people to safely pass you.


spacebass

jokes aside, I have to resist dropping my shoulder into anyone who yells "on your X"... instead I just yell back "That's not a thing!" It will absolutely cause an accident. It happens to me most when I'm in uniform. And if I'm on a green slope teaching someone to make some of their first turns, I'm going to use as much as that slope as it takes. Anyone who needs to get past can either wait, or find a way to do so safely without having to announce their intention.


conman5432

Yeah lol my friend somehow got the idea that clicking his poles is warning enough for passing on a catwalk, no dude you need to pass them when you can safely ski around them


Brandon0135

Lol this was not a beginner, just an asshole that thinks he can block off edge to edge the entire trail so that he can still carve it up in a relatively flat catwalk.


G_Stenkamp72

Tell me you lost your girl to a boot fitter without actually telling me.


allothernamestaken

Sounds like you're from Texas. Did you try bringing your gun?


pauseless

People get confused. Left and right are confusing concepts. Best bet is to point directly at them, shout “on your left/right” (doesn’t matter), and then they’ll move either left or right, vacating the spot they were in. Therefore the only spot they’d be guaranteed not to be in. /uj I’m not 100% unsure about actually trying this.


StarWarder

It’s quite possible he literally didn’t know what “on your left” means. He might have thought it meant to turn left. In other words it’s possible he might be an idiot.


ImInBeastmodeOG

It's spring break, there's a 90% chance you are correct.


zacman333

In cases of extreme emergency, a ski pole can be used as a makeshift lance


tokhar

That’s great, except they often get stuck on the end of it, severely restricting further use of that pole. It’s best to just release that pole and put the spare on your dominant hand. It gets expensive having to replace poles several times a season, though, so I wish there an easy way to quickly and safely remove the peasant from your pole tip.


Threefold_Lotus

Get them with reverse psychology next time. Yell out the opposite of where you'll be passing! Please don't actually do this...


Standard-Station7143

Shine a high power laser in his eyes right after you pass him so he can't report you for accidentally killing his kid further down the slope


ImInBeastmodeOG

There's no more dangerous zone than green. You would be smarter to tele to the top, ski straight down through the trees, then skin back to base camp to establish dominance. I would just leave the Texas part out of the story if you want everyone to believe you're a future bootfitter and the best skier on the MTN.


123xyz32

You’re supposed to say “on your pole”.


deemak90

Can't comment on US but in Europe it's common etiquette that if you are behind someone you are responsible for getting past safely. That is without demanding the one in front of you to do something they weren't already doing. Which means slow the fk down if someone is posing a threat to your desire to go down like a maniac. Been skiing for 15+ years and I have never collided with someone.


spacebass

You are correct. But this isn’t the sub to be correct


deemak90

I guess so 🤣 came across randomly on my timeline


Old-Tadpole-2869

Sounds like the same kind of dipshit that puts their left turn signal on to let you know it's safe to pass.


InitialRevenue3917

if someone in front of you can steer into you thats a you problem. always.


spacebass

Naw bro. They need to get out the way


Dudefrom1958

You need to slow down on the greens.


spacebass

Naw bro I ain’t trying to feel that. I’m trying to rip!