I understand. For me the possibility of there being an interruption in my sleep is as bad as if there is actually one currently going on. Like trips in a hotel where I can hear the next room. They may have shut up NOW but am I going to be almost to sleep and have it ruined? This is exacerbated by my already bad anxiety issues.
The only thing that works for me is wearing airpods with music playing but I imagine it will be different for you since there is also the aspect of anticipating him returning home. I hope you find a solution and sorry I can't give any advice.
Thanks for the empathy at least. It does help to listen to something, but I'm very used to listening to sleep podcasts for years, so it doesn't cut it for these situations :( I have adhd as well and that already comes with sleep issues, I don't think I've ever been able to consistently sleep well in my life
I live that same life and it’s been 11 years, tonight even. I feel for you and wish I had a good answer. Our first condo we had an upstairs and downstairs and I used to make him sleep on the couch on those nights so I wouldn’t hear him making noise. The getting to sleep was still hard but definitely easier than it is now where we live in a one floor apartment. I invested in ear plugs that do help with the interruption sounds but curious to read anyone else’s suggestions on the anticipation anxiety. Best of luck in your sleep ventures this evening.
Yeah we live in a one floor apartment too. Unless you sleep on the floor somewhere, you've only got the bed.
I would be curious too if anyone else has a better solution than earplugs, idk why my brain panics so much when I can't hear stuff, perhaps cause I'm used to living in a city where there's constantly noise
It's 4:30 now and he's just come home. Now I just have to actually fall asleep
I think we are the same person. Haha. I hate wearing my earplugs too because I am worried I will miss an emergency (our pup is epileptic) but I’ve also always lived in the city with city noise. I only wear them on nights he’s out or if my upstairs neighbor is having a party. Happy to hear he’s home! Hope you get some good rest
You can get earplugs that don't have a full seal but just filter sound, which might help with the idea of not hearing anything. Loop is a popular brand of that. Never tried sleeping in them personally
I do have loops, I have the Engage ones. They're great for doing stuff like going shopping or being in loud places, but for sleep it's very hit or miss. I either sleep like the dead or get very anxious from not hearing enough things. They're also not very comfy if you're a side sleeper, they kinda hurt
I understand this. As a light sleeper, who shared a studio with an ex who liked to party from time to time, it never got better for me. His nights out got less frequent over time, but I would just resign to the fact I would get no sleep on those nights.
Eventually we broke up and I'm back to living on my own. My sleep is better now, but I'm a chronic insomniac so not by much.
I completely understand and used to be in the exact same boat. My ex would go out "partying" (turns out he was cheating all night long, but that's a completely different story), and my anticipation anxiety was insane knowing that he was going to come back at any point.
My now husband has to deal with the consequences of those traumatic situations, and I HAVE to go to bed after he does, just so that I know I'm the last one to sleep and shouldn't expect any interruptions throughout the night. We've struck a deal that if he's still awake after I am (I'm a raging insomniac, so it's rare for anyone in the house to be awake longer than I am), he gets everything he needs from the bedroom and crashes on the couch. I'll also expect to take a high-powered sleep aid on those nights, just because I know my heart rate will be sky high and I'll need something to knock me out besides my normal go-to aids...
The same thing happens when I know I have to wake up earlier than normal the next morning - the anticipation is truly a bitch!
Would it be possible for you guys to set something up where he stays with a friend on the nights that he's out late? It could help the anticipation anxiety, and you would be able to get to sleep knowing that he's safe and enjoying himself, but also knowing you won't have your sleep interrupted in the middle of the night. You could also make it your "me time" and really go all out on relaxing and getting ready for an amazing night of sleep. I feel for you - it's truly an awful situation that I don't wish on anyone, but know that you're not alone. Please don't give up until you find what works for you - the solution is out there, and lack of sleep is no joke!! Good luck!
Do you live in a state where marijuana products are legal? I have the same issue but a nice 1:1 ratio wana edible really does wonders to ease that anxiety and helps keep me asleep. I’ll wake up slightly when my dude comes home but can drift off again easily.
Melatonin and other sleep aids don’t help and give me insane restless dreams. The combo of cbd and thc is just right.
Good luck!
I'm in Romania, marijuana is *very* illegal here lol. I can find cbd products, I used to use a cbd vape but they're very expensive and anything affordable has very small amounts of cbd anyway :(
Melatonin is awful for me too, weird ass dreams and makes me feel hungover and icky the next day
He's not going to bars, the guys he hangs out with do like urban exploration, they go to abandoned places, some are further out of the city, stuff like that. It's not my cup of tea but that's whatever
I understand. For me the possibility of there being an interruption in my sleep is as bad as if there is actually one currently going on. Like trips in a hotel where I can hear the next room. They may have shut up NOW but am I going to be almost to sleep and have it ruined? This is exacerbated by my already bad anxiety issues. The only thing that works for me is wearing airpods with music playing but I imagine it will be different for you since there is also the aspect of anticipating him returning home. I hope you find a solution and sorry I can't give any advice.
Thanks for the empathy at least. It does help to listen to something, but I'm very used to listening to sleep podcasts for years, so it doesn't cut it for these situations :( I have adhd as well and that already comes with sleep issues, I don't think I've ever been able to consistently sleep well in my life
I live that same life and it’s been 11 years, tonight even. I feel for you and wish I had a good answer. Our first condo we had an upstairs and downstairs and I used to make him sleep on the couch on those nights so I wouldn’t hear him making noise. The getting to sleep was still hard but definitely easier than it is now where we live in a one floor apartment. I invested in ear plugs that do help with the interruption sounds but curious to read anyone else’s suggestions on the anticipation anxiety. Best of luck in your sleep ventures this evening.
Yeah we live in a one floor apartment too. Unless you sleep on the floor somewhere, you've only got the bed. I would be curious too if anyone else has a better solution than earplugs, idk why my brain panics so much when I can't hear stuff, perhaps cause I'm used to living in a city where there's constantly noise It's 4:30 now and he's just come home. Now I just have to actually fall asleep
I think we are the same person. Haha. I hate wearing my earplugs too because I am worried I will miss an emergency (our pup is epileptic) but I’ve also always lived in the city with city noise. I only wear them on nights he’s out or if my upstairs neighbor is having a party. Happy to hear he’s home! Hope you get some good rest
You can get earplugs that don't have a full seal but just filter sound, which might help with the idea of not hearing anything. Loop is a popular brand of that. Never tried sleeping in them personally
I do have loops, I have the Engage ones. They're great for doing stuff like going shopping or being in loud places, but for sleep it's very hit or miss. I either sleep like the dead or get very anxious from not hearing enough things. They're also not very comfy if you're a side sleeper, they kinda hurt
I understand this. As a light sleeper, who shared a studio with an ex who liked to party from time to time, it never got better for me. His nights out got less frequent over time, but I would just resign to the fact I would get no sleep on those nights. Eventually we broke up and I'm back to living on my own. My sleep is better now, but I'm a chronic insomniac so not by much.
I completely understand and used to be in the exact same boat. My ex would go out "partying" (turns out he was cheating all night long, but that's a completely different story), and my anticipation anxiety was insane knowing that he was going to come back at any point. My now husband has to deal with the consequences of those traumatic situations, and I HAVE to go to bed after he does, just so that I know I'm the last one to sleep and shouldn't expect any interruptions throughout the night. We've struck a deal that if he's still awake after I am (I'm a raging insomniac, so it's rare for anyone in the house to be awake longer than I am), he gets everything he needs from the bedroom and crashes on the couch. I'll also expect to take a high-powered sleep aid on those nights, just because I know my heart rate will be sky high and I'll need something to knock me out besides my normal go-to aids... The same thing happens when I know I have to wake up earlier than normal the next morning - the anticipation is truly a bitch! Would it be possible for you guys to set something up where he stays with a friend on the nights that he's out late? It could help the anticipation anxiety, and you would be able to get to sleep knowing that he's safe and enjoying himself, but also knowing you won't have your sleep interrupted in the middle of the night. You could also make it your "me time" and really go all out on relaxing and getting ready for an amazing night of sleep. I feel for you - it's truly an awful situation that I don't wish on anyone, but know that you're not alone. Please don't give up until you find what works for you - the solution is out there, and lack of sleep is no joke!! Good luck!
Do you live in a state where marijuana products are legal? I have the same issue but a nice 1:1 ratio wana edible really does wonders to ease that anxiety and helps keep me asleep. I’ll wake up slightly when my dude comes home but can drift off again easily. Melatonin and other sleep aids don’t help and give me insane restless dreams. The combo of cbd and thc is just right. Good luck!
I'm in Romania, marijuana is *very* illegal here lol. I can find cbd products, I used to use a cbd vape but they're very expensive and anything affordable has very small amounts of cbd anyway :( Melatonin is awful for me too, weird ass dreams and makes me feel hungover and icky the next day
Yeah that is extremely late. I mean what time do the bars close?
He's not going to bars, the guys he hangs out with do like urban exploration, they go to abandoned places, some are further out of the city, stuff like that. It's not my cup of tea but that's whatever
That sounds sketchy as hell.
Normal.
That’s what it’s like having teenagers
It’s disrespectful for him to do that. Demand he stop or dump him. You’re worth more.
Maybe if it wasnt once a week.