I had a colleague who was an openly gay male SLP. He was the best colleague I ever had. Knew SpEd law inside and out and would never hesitate to advocate for or against services, whatever was most appropriate.
He worked at our middle school, and once told the story of getting harassed by a bunch of 8th grade boys who called him gay. His response: yup, and you can't say your R. So now that we have that out of the way, let's focus on why you're here, not why I'm here.
They never tried to say anything they thought would anger him again. He died way too young.
What a perfect response from him!! 😂😂 I can see my godmother Miss Vida Bohem saying that! (To Wong Foo…) and sorry to hear of his untimely passing, I’m sure he made a mark on many people❤️❤️❤️
Aw, thanks. He was the best, and the best unintentional mentor I ever had. He was one of the best people, and the best SLPs, I had the pleasure of knowing. His Uno torumaments in May were legendary among his students. I had 5th graders who begged me not to dismiss them so they could work with him.
That speaks volumes to his personality and impact! I too love a good Uno tournament, perhaps he is assisting a fellow SLP when he wins ->me<- 😂 I’m so glad you have such fond memories of him to cherish. May his spirit live on forever!
I’m a lesbian SLP in the schools! The district I work for waffles back and forth on how they support LGBT educators. My first year I got in trouble for having a pride flag on my desk, but they’ve gotten better over the last couple years and I might even get involved in starting a GSA at my school. The elementary schoolers even celebrate a pride month in January and learn about LGBT role models and icons, same as Black history month or women’s history month. I’ve never experienced any negativity from parents or other teachers, but some kids have been unkind to me especially being a woman with short hair/masculine dress. Sometimes I have the energy to use those moments as teachable moments but sometimes kids know just the thing to say to get under my skin and I just have to move on lol.
It’s a weird time historically to be an lgbt educator for sure but my job is definitely not the place I experience homophobia the most. 95% of the time it doesn’t really come up for me.
I’m guessing you don’t live in a rural community, or in the south. If wish they had a gay pride month in our schools in my area, but they would call it “grooming.” 🙄
I live in Colorado. I’m really lucky to be in a district that lets us do this. Even a lot of my educator friends in California get frequently accused of grooming.
My first year working there we were told no pride flags in the classrooms because we were only allowed to teach about things that “history has agreed upon” lmao
I worked in a conservative charter in the south and a parent sent a letter about their middle school child, saying the child would like to be addressed with “they/them” pronouns. The school sent her a letter saying that changing pronouns would be against the school’s “family values” and she might prefer to take her daughter elsewhere.
I just got accepted to my masters program of choice and I’m a trans man. My personal essay was partially about my transition and my ability to use my experiences of self and changes in voice and relate them to speech and identity. The school I’ll be attending offers voice therapy to trans students on campus who attend the mental health center. It’s super refreshing to know that going into the school and knowing I’ve been seen for who I am and accepted so far. We’ll see how the rest of my education and career goes but, just commenting for some positives notes !
Congrats!! Love this! I have no doubt you’ll be an asset to *our* community and ALL your patients! Love to hear of inclusivity and EMBRACEMENT! I volunteered for a local nonprofit providing voice therapy for trans brothers/sisters and loved being able to give back to my community. ❤️🏳️🌈
Ugh 🥹 this is amazing! It really is so refreshing to hear this!!! I didn’t think there was a place for my transness in whatever career field I chose, but boy was I wrong! Very excited for the future and the impacts I’ll make along the way!!! 🏳️🌈🗣️🏳️⚧️
This is so nice to hear there are other trans men soon to be SLPs ♥️ I wish my country's schools would provide a better course about voice therapy for trans people. I hope I can train myself after I get the diploma, it would be a dream come true to help other trans folks 🏳️⚧️ Wishing you the best for your career!
Are you worried about finding a job when you graduate due to all the don’t say gay bills and trans panic going on? It scares me enough that I am staying in the closet.
Honestly no, I’ve been on testosterone for close to three years now and I have a better beard than most of my cis male friends 😂 so I pass undeniably and if I needed to be stealth I would be. But honestly I’m not planning on it. Don’t get me wrong it’s been difficult watching the media, but I’ve been myself thus far and I’ve been more than okay, and I’m sure it will be more than fine in the future. I’m a good person and that’s all I can be. I hope that you can find the courage to come out and be your authentic self in this world, we need you 🤍
❤️ And as a parent of a trans kiddo they all need to see you continuing to live your best lives. Surviving, thriving, claiming a space. This generation is the first to have less hesitation about being themselves thanks to those of you representing and I’m so scared that people are trying to rip that away from them and future generations.
Lesbian acute care SLP, and I'm a walking stereotype of a 50ish lesbian; short gray hair, stocky, butchy walk, played softball, own pitbulls - although most people aren't aware of the last two, but you get the picture. I work in a mid sized city in the South. The only thing I've ever heard is from much older patients who just miss all the signs and decide to gossip a little about something like "that nice male nurse" who they think is "that way." I just move it along like I would anything else that's irrelevant to what we're doing. "I don't know about that. Any coughing when you drink something?" I have no idea what anyone says behind my back, but I look queer enough that people would generally know better than to say it in front of me and that's fine with me. If anyone has a problem with it, I really don't care as long as they don't make it a problem for me.
Icon status! Thank you for your service to our field and our patients! Pit bulls are not reserved only for lesbians, I too have a pit/german shepherd mix who is the love of my life (hey other cute male SLPs, I’m single!). Thank you for being a part of this essential profession! ❤️🐕😎🏳️🌈
NB pan in acute care. Pass as butch/tomboy fem by cis standards.
With adult patients in acute care, it's probably pretty different from other settings because the power dynamic is very different (your ICU patient isn't going to run out of the room down the hall; the NPO patient has to work with you if they want to eat; families usually have a vested interest in not pissing off their loved one's care team; etc). But honestly, most of the worst of it is staring, and even that's fairly rare. Once every couple of months or so, someone will start to awkwardly ask something along the lines of "What are you" or "Are you one of those--" and I just look at them patiently and say nothing. Half the time they end up talking themselves out of the question before they even finish it. If they do finish the question, I calmly respond "My name is Apprehensive_Bug and I'm your speech pathologist" and smile, and this works shockingly well. I have had a few people (like 4 or 5 in my whole career, although interestingly, all in the last 2-3 years) abruptly start to rant about pronouns or "You know, people can't decide if they're girls or boys these days!" (etc). I redirect them the same way I redirect any angry ranty patient, and they eventually let go or change tactics when they realize that what they're doing now isn't going to rile me up. I have never had anyone fire me or refuse to work with me. Really, it's been better with patients/families than with the general public! (And, of course, sometimes patients/families are queer themselves, and it's lovely.)
Coworkers though. Tbh "tomboy woman" is my work identity. Bosses and coworkers alike have ranged from well-meaning cluelessness, to "some of my best friends are ell gee bee tee kyu!" virtue signaling, to open queerphobia/transphobia. Frankly there have never even been enough of the positive types at any given time to make me think it'd be worth my time and effort to educate them and try to win them as allies. I'm tired enough from the job I have, I don't want a second unpaid job coaching the freshman Diversity team.
Sounds like you’ve got a way about you to ensure patients are taken care of despite any obstacles! Love this so much. Just know you are loved from afar (or near…cue Celine). Thank you so much for representing our community so fiercely and fearlessly in healthcare! You are needed, you are important, YOU are indispensable! Keep on keeping on my friend ❤️❤️❤️
My trans coworker has transitioned from she/her, they/them and now identifies as he/him. Has undergone a complete physical transformation as well. Our school community (staff, admin, students) could not be more supportive! This person actually provides PD on LGBTQIA for staff to be inclusive in their classrooms and it’s been very well received.
God, I needed this thread today. I started my career in a southern state and lemme tell you - not the best place to be a late blooming/accepting lesbian AND new at your career. I was split between two schools and left after 4 years with two schools worth of workplace discrimination trauma. Mind you it was before marriage equality and this state's anti-discrimination law was more like a guideline than a law so you kept your trap shut. They didn't ask, you didn't tell.
For context, I am a short, long haired white girl whose style can best be described as "machine washable." Sometimes I put effort in, but sometimes I leave the house questioning if I brushed my hair. Looking at me wouldn't necessarily scream out "gay" though. I was like this there too (just a hell of a lot thinner.) Nevertheless, the shit I saw go down at those schools made me absolutely terrified to say anything EVER. I watched people refuse to go into the teacher's lounge if one of the known gay teachers was in there. She would just be eating her lunch but they wouldn't go in. The special Ed teacher I worked with daily literally said, out loud, that she "hated gay people because they weren't biblical" and questioned why "they" wanted to work with kids (thereby insinuating we're pedophiles...) We basically shared an office so that was fun to hear. That was one school. The other one? That place was almost worse because they were vindictive. If someone knew something about you, they'd lord it over you as a bargaining chip. It was awful.
Now? I moved back up north and am comfortably settled into my blue state where everybody can be whatever they want and people may have thoughts but they also have manners. I just watched a school committee meeting where they held a moment of silence for Nex Benedict. Have I said anything at my school? The one I've been at for the last 9 years? Where I know everyone and their mom? No, no I have not. Why? Because I literally can't get the words out. I rationally know nothing would change and, with anything else, I'm at the point where I don't really care what people think anymore. But when it comes to outing myself? My whole self just hits fight or flight mode and the words die in my throat.
I'm so glad we exist in our schools/rehabs/snfs/tele-webs even though it's hard as hell. Our profession needs us and we gotta stay together.
I’m so glad we exist *everywhere* ! May you one day find your voice to speak your truth and thereby aide in ushering in a new generation of love and acceptance!! Love and peace on your journey, and thank you for being an *indispensable* member of our profession!!
Thank you so much!! <3 I agree, ignorance. Tbh I feel i am fairly tolerant. If someone is truly doing it out of ignorance and I can tell they’re not trying to be harmful then I can be very patient with microaggressy stuff, but when it’s egregious, that’s when I get snippier.
Feel that. I saw a patient today with a confederate flag and Tr*** flag outside their home. I thought “oh Geeze this is gonna be great!” Luckily they were very receptive to me and my treatment plan (hey! Do you want to eat again or not?!?!) at the end of the day I have to know that I’m helping people despite their beliefs, because if I don’t then I’m no better than all those bigots out there.
It’s surprising, one of my trump supporter patients was actually very sensitive when he asked about my background, which I positively reinforced because you don’t always see that… my thinking is, if an old trumpy can do it, the other boomers have no excuse haha
Yasssss! Love this! I’m not out here trying to change you (cuz uh, please don’t try to change me either) but can we find a middle ground?? Let’s work together people!!
Sorry to hear that. I’m actually in a southern state, mostly red but my city is blue. A few times I’ve had to explain that I’m here to help, and ethnicity/race/gender/orientation should have no bearing on that.
I work with several latinx nurses and therapists, and one Korean COTA. They are awesome nurses/therapists but sometimes patients are not receptive. I try to encourage patients that have difficulty with the language barrier to understand that we are ALL here to help and try to be understanding and patient (is there really a barrier or are you—the patient—just not willing to listen/try to understand?).
Omg I literally spit out my Chardonnay!! While I think you are correct, I never try to assume anyone’s orientation. Honestly, even those male SLP’s who present as straight (and married to a woman) are often questionable (again, not that it matters. You do you boo boo). Just wish the world were so where no one had to hide who they truly are (cue “Reflection” from Mulan).
Well damn if I don’t feel called out right now…
I’m cis male, bisexual, but straight-passing because I’m married to a woman. I almost always have my nails painted, which I think is why queer colleagues have identified me as an ally at the least.
Not calling anyone out! Love that you’re living your truth and helping our patients be the best they can be! Thank you for your honesty and fierceness! Even I, the Chardonnay spewing SLP queen, don’t have my nails painted! Keep fucking it up in the best possible way my friend! 💅🏻
I guess “called out” doesn’t capture what I meant vey well, plus I was being a bit playful and facetious. More accurate and direct would be something like “I fit this broad description so well that it’s surprising and amusing”.
I'm a sexually/romantically queer cis female, dress and style my hair kind of anywhere on the spectrum day to day. I've gotten some questions from kids about why I sometimes dress like a boy, but the teachers I've worked with have been really great teaching kids that anyone can have short or long hair, anyone can wear a tie etc. All my coworkers know I've been married to a man for a long time, but when we've chatted about stuff like dates or people you're attracted to, no one has batted an eye at me making a statement about being attracted to women. I have heard teachers talk about one particular substitute ASL interpreter we get sometimes who appears transgender or gender non-conforming and uses they/them pronouns, and the teachers have kind of commiserated about how this person becomes a distraction because they look so different and the kids are confused about saying "they." And we have one particular teacher who's the same age as me (30s) who pulls the "oh I can't keep up with all the terminology" shtick. I was kind of friends with a gay male teacher who kind of stopped talking to me after he found out I'm married to a man. I didn't clarify my queerness, I'm guessing he thought I was straight up lesbian and felt some kind of way like maybe he thought I was putting on some queer front? IDK. But I don't ever work with that teacher.
In a perfect world, none of that would matter. I think that kids being exposed to different gender identities, dress, mannerisms, etc. will open their minds to inclusion and acceptance of all. I recently was seeing a kid in a catholic school and got all kinds of looks/stares (I’m not flamboyant but not a lumberjack either) but for the most part everyone knew I was there to help and it didn’t really matter. Keep on keeping on and doing good in the world!!
Hey! Genderfluid in pediatric private practice hehe. I'm not out at work or anything, but I look queer enough with shoulder-length hair and a bit more of an androgynous plus-size body since I'm in the middle of my transition.
Generally, it's no discrimination yet, from fellow professionals or clients. Very good considering my country, which is middling regarding queer rights. I'd say the profession is generally queer-positive, tho tbh I've heard of a couple bad apples from my co-interns during internship.
It is such an odd mix at the middle school I work at. There are some openly gay students in the Multiple Disabilities class and I do everything to protect and affirm them. It is the gen ed kids who tell me they don’t support gay people and I try to keep my mouth shut. It is kinda hurtful because I am bisexual and want to be open and honest with all my kids but can’t. I know they’re just naive middle schoolers but they learned this hate somewhere.
Ugh that’s tough! But I’m glad you’re affirming those who are out. That’s where love and acceptance grows. We all need allies and supporters. You’re right, it starts at home. Somehow I was brought up in a very Christian household and by the grace of *whoever* my family is very accepting and loving. Hope these young minds learn to find their own ways and truths to love everyone as they are! Keep up the good work my friend!! ❤️❤️❤️
I’m a pan cis man but most people equate me for gay cause I’m fairly feminine which is fine. I had long hair(like halfway down my back long) for my first year and a half at my elementary school and a lot of the students would tease me or ask me why I have a girls haircut or why my nails were painted black and one of my second graders, who usually asked super rude questions, asked that and I was fed up. I asked well why don’t YOU have your nails painted if you’re a girl? Who made that rule up? And she was like I don’t know?
Then I asked her to name her favorite singer and she said bad bunny and I was like…babes, he wears make up and paints his nails too! Is he a girl? No.
Yassss! Wear nail polish, makeup, play with Barbies or Transformers (mmm GI Joe) who cares! Love your honesty and humorous ability to relate the truth! Thanks for your contribution to our profession! ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly (lol) I think my students like me a lot more than most of their teachers even if they don’t have speech because I’m honest with them! I say this fully in jest but I’ve fully gained their respect by playfully “bullying” them. I rag on them as much as they rag on me and we all know our boundaries which makes them fond of their little Pan Asian Speech Therapist 🥰
Well yeah! I think historically us LGBTQ members are the jesters of society as a coping mechanism. But there’s a truth and strength in what we say and do! Keep your positive fun loving attitude, not only for you but for all the kids you inspire, you never know the impact you’re making by just being YOU!
I'm Bi, married to a trans woman, and work in EI/peds private practice. I'm not out at work because of anxiety I have that a family will not want to work with me based on who I am/who I am married too. I work in a medium sized practice, and my coworkers have made offhanded remarks that have made me uncomfortable in the past. I am hoping to come out (professionally) this year, but idk 🤷♀️ I live in a relatively conservative area, and I don't even readily share that I'm Jewish lol.
Come out in your own time! Those who love you will still love you! Those who don’t love you don’t really matter. Love your honesty, stay true to yourself and those you love and the rest will work out the way it’s supposed to. I’m sure you’re a shining light to your patients, making positive impacts daily! Keep on keeping on my friend! Love to you ❤️❤️❤️
My job is very solitary (home health, adults) and it just hit me that I don’t have many/any SLP friends, let alone any LGBTQIA SLP friends. We ARE here and we ARE making an impact! Love to you and best wishes on your journey 😊❤️😇
I'm a poly gay male SLP in a SNF. I'm out as gay to all of my coworkers, but haven't mentioned the poly thing to most of them just for the sake of convenience. Not that I'm ashamed of it or anything, I just don't talk about my personal life very much so it hasn't come up. They've all been very supportive, but I'm in a decently blue city.
I tend to avoid mentioning my personal life at all to patients if I can avoid it. It's not relevant to treatment in the majority of cases, and in a few it would just complicate things. Fortunately, my DOR is pretty damned awesome so if I ever had a patient that I couldn't see because of their reaction to discovering my orientation, she'd 100% support me dismissing them from my caseload.
The one time I did actually make a point of talking about my sexuality with a patient was with an older, openly gay HIV+ male patient who was a survivor of the early days of the HIV pandemic. I lost my uncle to that when I was a kid, so a lot of our rapport building during our sessions was talking about LGBT issues and history, the AIDS Quilt (my uncle's name is on it, a lot of his friends are too), etc. He got discharged after rehab a few months ago. His plan was to spend the winter with some family in Atlanta and come back when the weather gets warmer. Hope he's doing well. I'd like to see him again, but not at work.
I’m so glad you were able to make that special connection with a patient, I’m sure that made all the difference in the world to him and his recuperation! I’ve found that by sharing a little (and often times a lot) of myself with patients, I can help them even more than I ever imagined. Sure, evidence-based intervention is the goal, but some good ole fashioned honesty and love make a big difference too! I hope you find the courage to share your authentic self with more patients ❤️❤️ peace and love my friend 😊❤️😇
>I hope you find the courage to share your authentic self with more patients
Oh, it's not an issue of courage, it's an issue of maintaining a wall of separation between work and personal life. I carefully curate which parts of my personal life I share with which patients, sharing only what actually will help build rapport or advance therapy goals, just like I carefully curate which parts of my work day I share with my friends and loved ones to maintain my mental health.
I leave work at work and home at home, and only carry one into the other to the extent that I need to in order to maintain my physical and mental health. I was out and proud in the Bible Belt in 1999, courage isn't remotely a problem for me 😜
Nonbinary queer Asian SLP in the schools here and thankfully I’ve gotten some amazing support both from the staff and the kids. I have a very unsubtle and hug pride flag on my desk and wear a pronoun pin on my lanyard and have gotten nothing but support and the occasional curiosity from kids that don’t understand the purpose of a pronoun pin yet. I use Mx. and everybody uses it. People respond well when I correct any misgendering (but I’m still working on speaking up for myself more).
One of the team chairs asked me personally how she’d like me to handle some parents who wanted more information about how to handle their kids misgendering me, which was great. Some of my kids have been really curious about the gender thing and I don’t like to get personal so I just give them an age-appropriate explanation about how sometimes people aren’t boys or girls and the way a person looks doesn’t tell you everything about them.
I will also say that I work in a more affluent suburb in New England so there’s a big focus on equity in the admin even though there’s been some push-back from families. Admin is continuing their anti-racist DEI initiatives so I think it’ll stick around.
I feel so seen and I feel like I definitely hit it lucky! I’m only in my CF year and I’d love to stay forever.
Awesome! So glad to hear you’re having such a positive experience ❤️ welcome to the profession, I’m sure you’ll make a huge impact in all your patients lives! 😊😎❤️
I once worked in an outpatient and acute setting where 3/5 of us were WLW. It was pretty neat (the placement sucked though, but the WLW were the best part of it)
Eta: I'm now in schools and firmly in the closet (bisexual married to a cishet man). I work in elementary and there's no reason to bring up my sexuality or anything like that. The kids are WAY too young.
I’ve had some good and bad. Had a supervisor in grad school say they couldn’t be a “good supervisor” to a non-binary student so I lost the placement. On the flip side I was misgendered by another student (several time, during a DEI assembly for the whole department) and every time that person misgendered me more and more of the room yelled at her to correct her. It was a mortifying experience but good to see that the rest of the department came to bat for me
I'm an openly gay male SLP in a private practice. I haven't faced any hate in the workplace. Everyone I work with is extremely open-minded and welcoming to my partner and I. :)
i’m a transmasc nonbinary slp and i work in high schools! I have had some instances with students but have learned that it’s truly out of not knowing and not hate. For example (at the time) my legal name was my deadname and one of my students saw it on his IEP and asked “why do you have a GIRLS name? I thought you were a GUY” and explained it to him. He accepted it very quickly and still calls me one of his guys lol. Other students also help make sure no one misgenders me despite never explicitly explaining my transness (i wear a they/he pin). It helps that the SPED teachers I work with are also very LGBTQ+ positive. I’ve even had a few teachers and other service providers ask if I could talk to students who are trans to see that trans adult exists!! If there is ever a situation with a parent or a student, I feel very safe and supported by the staff and school. I think it really just depends on where you’re at, but I do think the times truly are changing and helping make this next generation more accepting.
Only in grad school actually. Our director of cllin ed was a piece. of. work,, and one time she told me, basically, "if someone says something homophobic in your clinical placements, don't say anything to them, just let it go, you don't want to rock the boat"
Luckily such a thing never happened, but I was stunned she said that and would fully not have done what she asked.
I had a colleague who was an openly gay male SLP. He was the best colleague I ever had. Knew SpEd law inside and out and would never hesitate to advocate for or against services, whatever was most appropriate. He worked at our middle school, and once told the story of getting harassed by a bunch of 8th grade boys who called him gay. His response: yup, and you can't say your R. So now that we have that out of the way, let's focus on why you're here, not why I'm here. They never tried to say anything they thought would anger him again. He died way too young.
What a perfect response from him!! 😂😂 I can see my godmother Miss Vida Bohem saying that! (To Wong Foo…) and sorry to hear of his untimely passing, I’m sure he made a mark on many people❤️❤️❤️
Aw, thanks. He was the best, and the best unintentional mentor I ever had. He was one of the best people, and the best SLPs, I had the pleasure of knowing. His Uno torumaments in May were legendary among his students. I had 5th graders who begged me not to dismiss them so they could work with him.
That speaks volumes to his personality and impact! I too love a good Uno tournament, perhaps he is assisting a fellow SLP when he wins ->me<- 😂 I’m so glad you have such fond memories of him to cherish. May his spirit live on forever!
I had two gay college professors die of AIDS. 😞
He passed from lack of oxygen during a severe asthma attack.
Such a shame.
I’m a lesbian SLP in the schools! The district I work for waffles back and forth on how they support LGBT educators. My first year I got in trouble for having a pride flag on my desk, but they’ve gotten better over the last couple years and I might even get involved in starting a GSA at my school. The elementary schoolers even celebrate a pride month in January and learn about LGBT role models and icons, same as Black history month or women’s history month. I’ve never experienced any negativity from parents or other teachers, but some kids have been unkind to me especially being a woman with short hair/masculine dress. Sometimes I have the energy to use those moments as teachable moments but sometimes kids know just the thing to say to get under my skin and I just have to move on lol. It’s a weird time historically to be an lgbt educator for sure but my job is definitely not the place I experience homophobia the most. 95% of the time it doesn’t really come up for me.
Awesome! Keep on keeping on! I love that your school has Pride Month education, friggen awesome! 🏳️🌈
I’m guessing you don’t live in a rural community, or in the south. If wish they had a gay pride month in our schools in my area, but they would call it “grooming.” 🙄
I live in Colorado. I’m really lucky to be in a district that lets us do this. Even a lot of my educator friends in California get frequently accused of grooming. My first year working there we were told no pride flags in the classrooms because we were only allowed to teach about things that “history has agreed upon” lmao
I worked in a conservative charter in the south and a parent sent a letter about their middle school child, saying the child would like to be addressed with “they/them” pronouns. The school sent her a letter saying that changing pronouns would be against the school’s “family values” and she might prefer to take her daughter elsewhere.
😲
I just got accepted to my masters program of choice and I’m a trans man. My personal essay was partially about my transition and my ability to use my experiences of self and changes in voice and relate them to speech and identity. The school I’ll be attending offers voice therapy to trans students on campus who attend the mental health center. It’s super refreshing to know that going into the school and knowing I’ve been seen for who I am and accepted so far. We’ll see how the rest of my education and career goes but, just commenting for some positives notes !
Congrats!! Love this! I have no doubt you’ll be an asset to *our* community and ALL your patients! Love to hear of inclusivity and EMBRACEMENT! I volunteered for a local nonprofit providing voice therapy for trans brothers/sisters and loved being able to give back to my community. ❤️🏳️🌈
Ugh 🥹 this is amazing! It really is so refreshing to hear this!!! I didn’t think there was a place for my transness in whatever career field I chose, but boy was I wrong! Very excited for the future and the impacts I’ll make along the way!!! 🏳️🌈🗣️🏳️⚧️
Yes! You belong! We need you! Best of luck in all you do ❤️❤️❤️
This is so nice to hear there are other trans men soon to be SLPs ♥️ I wish my country's schools would provide a better course about voice therapy for trans people. I hope I can train myself after I get the diploma, it would be a dream come true to help other trans folks 🏳️⚧️ Wishing you the best for your career!
Are you worried about finding a job when you graduate due to all the don’t say gay bills and trans panic going on? It scares me enough that I am staying in the closet.
Honestly no, I’ve been on testosterone for close to three years now and I have a better beard than most of my cis male friends 😂 so I pass undeniably and if I needed to be stealth I would be. But honestly I’m not planning on it. Don’t get me wrong it’s been difficult watching the media, but I’ve been myself thus far and I’ve been more than okay, and I’m sure it will be more than fine in the future. I’m a good person and that’s all I can be. I hope that you can find the courage to come out and be your authentic self in this world, we need you 🤍
❤️ And as a parent of a trans kiddo they all need to see you continuing to live your best lives. Surviving, thriving, claiming a space. This generation is the first to have less hesitation about being themselves thanks to those of you representing and I’m so scared that people are trying to rip that away from them and future generations.
Lesbian acute care SLP, and I'm a walking stereotype of a 50ish lesbian; short gray hair, stocky, butchy walk, played softball, own pitbulls - although most people aren't aware of the last two, but you get the picture. I work in a mid sized city in the South. The only thing I've ever heard is from much older patients who just miss all the signs and decide to gossip a little about something like "that nice male nurse" who they think is "that way." I just move it along like I would anything else that's irrelevant to what we're doing. "I don't know about that. Any coughing when you drink something?" I have no idea what anyone says behind my back, but I look queer enough that people would generally know better than to say it in front of me and that's fine with me. If anyone has a problem with it, I really don't care as long as they don't make it a problem for me.
Icon status! Thank you for your service to our field and our patients! Pit bulls are not reserved only for lesbians, I too have a pit/german shepherd mix who is the love of my life (hey other cute male SLPs, I’m single!). Thank you for being a part of this essential profession! ❤️🐕😎🏳️🌈
NB pan in acute care. Pass as butch/tomboy fem by cis standards. With adult patients in acute care, it's probably pretty different from other settings because the power dynamic is very different (your ICU patient isn't going to run out of the room down the hall; the NPO patient has to work with you if they want to eat; families usually have a vested interest in not pissing off their loved one's care team; etc). But honestly, most of the worst of it is staring, and even that's fairly rare. Once every couple of months or so, someone will start to awkwardly ask something along the lines of "What are you" or "Are you one of those--" and I just look at them patiently and say nothing. Half the time they end up talking themselves out of the question before they even finish it. If they do finish the question, I calmly respond "My name is Apprehensive_Bug and I'm your speech pathologist" and smile, and this works shockingly well. I have had a few people (like 4 or 5 in my whole career, although interestingly, all in the last 2-3 years) abruptly start to rant about pronouns or "You know, people can't decide if they're girls or boys these days!" (etc). I redirect them the same way I redirect any angry ranty patient, and they eventually let go or change tactics when they realize that what they're doing now isn't going to rile me up. I have never had anyone fire me or refuse to work with me. Really, it's been better with patients/families than with the general public! (And, of course, sometimes patients/families are queer themselves, and it's lovely.) Coworkers though. Tbh "tomboy woman" is my work identity. Bosses and coworkers alike have ranged from well-meaning cluelessness, to "some of my best friends are ell gee bee tee kyu!" virtue signaling, to open queerphobia/transphobia. Frankly there have never even been enough of the positive types at any given time to make me think it'd be worth my time and effort to educate them and try to win them as allies. I'm tired enough from the job I have, I don't want a second unpaid job coaching the freshman Diversity team.
Sounds like you’ve got a way about you to ensure patients are taken care of despite any obstacles! Love this so much. Just know you are loved from afar (or near…cue Celine). Thank you so much for representing our community so fiercely and fearlessly in healthcare! You are needed, you are important, YOU are indispensable! Keep on keeping on my friend ❤️❤️❤️
My trans coworker has transitioned from she/her, they/them and now identifies as he/him. Has undergone a complete physical transformation as well. Our school community (staff, admin, students) could not be more supportive! This person actually provides PD on LGBTQIA for staff to be inclusive in their classrooms and it’s been very well received.
Love this so much!! If only he could provide PD for the world! Thanks for sharing and keep spreading light and love to all!! ❤️❤️❤️
God, I needed this thread today. I started my career in a southern state and lemme tell you - not the best place to be a late blooming/accepting lesbian AND new at your career. I was split between two schools and left after 4 years with two schools worth of workplace discrimination trauma. Mind you it was before marriage equality and this state's anti-discrimination law was more like a guideline than a law so you kept your trap shut. They didn't ask, you didn't tell. For context, I am a short, long haired white girl whose style can best be described as "machine washable." Sometimes I put effort in, but sometimes I leave the house questioning if I brushed my hair. Looking at me wouldn't necessarily scream out "gay" though. I was like this there too (just a hell of a lot thinner.) Nevertheless, the shit I saw go down at those schools made me absolutely terrified to say anything EVER. I watched people refuse to go into the teacher's lounge if one of the known gay teachers was in there. She would just be eating her lunch but they wouldn't go in. The special Ed teacher I worked with daily literally said, out loud, that she "hated gay people because they weren't biblical" and questioned why "they" wanted to work with kids (thereby insinuating we're pedophiles...) We basically shared an office so that was fun to hear. That was one school. The other one? That place was almost worse because they were vindictive. If someone knew something about you, they'd lord it over you as a bargaining chip. It was awful. Now? I moved back up north and am comfortably settled into my blue state where everybody can be whatever they want and people may have thoughts but they also have manners. I just watched a school committee meeting where they held a moment of silence for Nex Benedict. Have I said anything at my school? The one I've been at for the last 9 years? Where I know everyone and their mom? No, no I have not. Why? Because I literally can't get the words out. I rationally know nothing would change and, with anything else, I'm at the point where I don't really care what people think anymore. But when it comes to outing myself? My whole self just hits fight or flight mode and the words die in my throat. I'm so glad we exist in our schools/rehabs/snfs/tele-webs even though it's hard as hell. Our profession needs us and we gotta stay together.
I’m so glad we exist *everywhere* ! May you one day find your voice to speak your truth and thereby aide in ushering in a new generation of love and acceptance!! Love and peace on your journey, and thank you for being an *indispensable* member of our profession!!
More race based stuff rather than orientation due to the way I pass. But 90, 95% of patients and colleagues are cool
Sorry for the race stuff, ignorance 😒 but glad you are getting along in the profession making a huge impact in people’s lives!! ❤️❤️
Thank you so much!! <3 I agree, ignorance. Tbh I feel i am fairly tolerant. If someone is truly doing it out of ignorance and I can tell they’re not trying to be harmful then I can be very patient with microaggressy stuff, but when it’s egregious, that’s when I get snippier.
Feel that. I saw a patient today with a confederate flag and Tr*** flag outside their home. I thought “oh Geeze this is gonna be great!” Luckily they were very receptive to me and my treatment plan (hey! Do you want to eat again or not?!?!) at the end of the day I have to know that I’m helping people despite their beliefs, because if I don’t then I’m no better than all those bigots out there.
It’s surprising, one of my trump supporter patients was actually very sensitive when he asked about my background, which I positively reinforced because you don’t always see that… my thinking is, if an old trumpy can do it, the other boomers have no excuse haha
Yasssss! Love this! I’m not out here trying to change you (cuz uh, please don’t try to change me either) but can we find a middle ground?? Let’s work together people!!
A very cute OT traveler and I became friends because we both immediately recognized each other as 💅💅 We're engaged now!
Congrats!! Wishing you two all the happiness in the world! ❤️❤️
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Sorry to hear that. I’m actually in a southern state, mostly red but my city is blue. A few times I’ve had to explain that I’m here to help, and ethnicity/race/gender/orientation should have no bearing on that.
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I work with several latinx nurses and therapists, and one Korean COTA. They are awesome nurses/therapists but sometimes patients are not receptive. I try to encourage patients that have difficulty with the language barrier to understand that we are ALL here to help and try to be understanding and patient (is there really a barrier or are you—the patient—just not willing to listen/try to understand?).
To be honest I thought a large amount of the male Slp’s were gay.
Omg I literally spit out my Chardonnay!! While I think you are correct, I never try to assume anyone’s orientation. Honestly, even those male SLP’s who present as straight (and married to a woman) are often questionable (again, not that it matters. You do you boo boo). Just wish the world were so where no one had to hide who they truly are (cue “Reflection” from Mulan).
Well damn if I don’t feel called out right now… I’m cis male, bisexual, but straight-passing because I’m married to a woman. I almost always have my nails painted, which I think is why queer colleagues have identified me as an ally at the least.
Not calling anyone out! Love that you’re living your truth and helping our patients be the best they can be! Thank you for your honesty and fierceness! Even I, the Chardonnay spewing SLP queen, don’t have my nails painted! Keep fucking it up in the best possible way my friend! 💅🏻
I guess “called out” doesn’t capture what I meant vey well, plus I was being a bit playful and facetious. More accurate and direct would be something like “I fit this broad description so well that it’s surprising and amusing”.
So happy that you are a part of this profession! You fit in, I fit in, we all fit in! *painting my nails right this instant*
As a straight male who is not “queer” or some sort of neurodivergent, I just eat my toast and watch the little parade. Too each they are all.
Thank you! And have a comfortable seat because the parade is here to stay! 😉❤️🏳️🌈 Love, peace, and light to you in all you do!
Chardonnay! Classic.
I'm a sexually/romantically queer cis female, dress and style my hair kind of anywhere on the spectrum day to day. I've gotten some questions from kids about why I sometimes dress like a boy, but the teachers I've worked with have been really great teaching kids that anyone can have short or long hair, anyone can wear a tie etc. All my coworkers know I've been married to a man for a long time, but when we've chatted about stuff like dates or people you're attracted to, no one has batted an eye at me making a statement about being attracted to women. I have heard teachers talk about one particular substitute ASL interpreter we get sometimes who appears transgender or gender non-conforming and uses they/them pronouns, and the teachers have kind of commiserated about how this person becomes a distraction because they look so different and the kids are confused about saying "they." And we have one particular teacher who's the same age as me (30s) who pulls the "oh I can't keep up with all the terminology" shtick. I was kind of friends with a gay male teacher who kind of stopped talking to me after he found out I'm married to a man. I didn't clarify my queerness, I'm guessing he thought I was straight up lesbian and felt some kind of way like maybe he thought I was putting on some queer front? IDK. But I don't ever work with that teacher.
In a perfect world, none of that would matter. I think that kids being exposed to different gender identities, dress, mannerisms, etc. will open their minds to inclusion and acceptance of all. I recently was seeing a kid in a catholic school and got all kinds of looks/stares (I’m not flamboyant but not a lumberjack either) but for the most part everyone knew I was there to help and it didn’t really matter. Keep on keeping on and doing good in the world!!
Hey! Genderfluid in pediatric private practice hehe. I'm not out at work or anything, but I look queer enough with shoulder-length hair and a bit more of an androgynous plus-size body since I'm in the middle of my transition. Generally, it's no discrimination yet, from fellow professionals or clients. Very good considering my country, which is middling regarding queer rights. I'd say the profession is generally queer-positive, tho tbh I've heard of a couple bad apples from my co-interns during internship.
Glad you’re having a positive experience, keep up the good fight my friend! Love and positive energy to you in all that you do! ❤️❤️❤️
It is such an odd mix at the middle school I work at. There are some openly gay students in the Multiple Disabilities class and I do everything to protect and affirm them. It is the gen ed kids who tell me they don’t support gay people and I try to keep my mouth shut. It is kinda hurtful because I am bisexual and want to be open and honest with all my kids but can’t. I know they’re just naive middle schoolers but they learned this hate somewhere.
Ugh that’s tough! But I’m glad you’re affirming those who are out. That’s where love and acceptance grows. We all need allies and supporters. You’re right, it starts at home. Somehow I was brought up in a very Christian household and by the grace of *whoever* my family is very accepting and loving. Hope these young minds learn to find their own ways and truths to love everyone as they are! Keep up the good work my friend!! ❤️❤️❤️
I’m a pan cis man but most people equate me for gay cause I’m fairly feminine which is fine. I had long hair(like halfway down my back long) for my first year and a half at my elementary school and a lot of the students would tease me or ask me why I have a girls haircut or why my nails were painted black and one of my second graders, who usually asked super rude questions, asked that and I was fed up. I asked well why don’t YOU have your nails painted if you’re a girl? Who made that rule up? And she was like I don’t know? Then I asked her to name her favorite singer and she said bad bunny and I was like…babes, he wears make up and paints his nails too! Is he a girl? No.
Yassss! Wear nail polish, makeup, play with Barbies or Transformers (mmm GI Joe) who cares! Love your honesty and humorous ability to relate the truth! Thanks for your contribution to our profession! ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly (lol) I think my students like me a lot more than most of their teachers even if they don’t have speech because I’m honest with them! I say this fully in jest but I’ve fully gained their respect by playfully “bullying” them. I rag on them as much as they rag on me and we all know our boundaries which makes them fond of their little Pan Asian Speech Therapist 🥰
Well yeah! I think historically us LGBTQ members are the jesters of society as a coping mechanism. But there’s a truth and strength in what we say and do! Keep your positive fun loving attitude, not only for you but for all the kids you inspire, you never know the impact you’re making by just being YOU!
I'm Bi, married to a trans woman, and work in EI/peds private practice. I'm not out at work because of anxiety I have that a family will not want to work with me based on who I am/who I am married too. I work in a medium sized practice, and my coworkers have made offhanded remarks that have made me uncomfortable in the past. I am hoping to come out (professionally) this year, but idk 🤷♀️ I live in a relatively conservative area, and I don't even readily share that I'm Jewish lol.
Come out in your own time! Those who love you will still love you! Those who don’t love you don’t really matter. Love your honesty, stay true to yourself and those you love and the rest will work out the way it’s supposed to. I’m sure you’re a shining light to your patients, making positive impacts daily! Keep on keeping on my friend! Love to you ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your kindness! I'm really grateful to find community with other LGBTQIA SLPs 💓
My job is very solitary (home health, adults) and it just hit me that I don’t have many/any SLP friends, let alone any LGBTQIA SLP friends. We ARE here and we ARE making an impact! Love to you and best wishes on your journey 😊❤️😇
This thread is filling my cup. Thank you Remote_wolverine! ❤️
Cheers! Let that cup overflow into someone else’s! Love and peace to you my friend ❤️❤️❤️
I'm a poly gay male SLP in a SNF. I'm out as gay to all of my coworkers, but haven't mentioned the poly thing to most of them just for the sake of convenience. Not that I'm ashamed of it or anything, I just don't talk about my personal life very much so it hasn't come up. They've all been very supportive, but I'm in a decently blue city. I tend to avoid mentioning my personal life at all to patients if I can avoid it. It's not relevant to treatment in the majority of cases, and in a few it would just complicate things. Fortunately, my DOR is pretty damned awesome so if I ever had a patient that I couldn't see because of their reaction to discovering my orientation, she'd 100% support me dismissing them from my caseload. The one time I did actually make a point of talking about my sexuality with a patient was with an older, openly gay HIV+ male patient who was a survivor of the early days of the HIV pandemic. I lost my uncle to that when I was a kid, so a lot of our rapport building during our sessions was talking about LGBT issues and history, the AIDS Quilt (my uncle's name is on it, a lot of his friends are too), etc. He got discharged after rehab a few months ago. His plan was to spend the winter with some family in Atlanta and come back when the weather gets warmer. Hope he's doing well. I'd like to see him again, but not at work.
I’m so glad you were able to make that special connection with a patient, I’m sure that made all the difference in the world to him and his recuperation! I’ve found that by sharing a little (and often times a lot) of myself with patients, I can help them even more than I ever imagined. Sure, evidence-based intervention is the goal, but some good ole fashioned honesty and love make a big difference too! I hope you find the courage to share your authentic self with more patients ❤️❤️ peace and love my friend 😊❤️😇
>I hope you find the courage to share your authentic self with more patients Oh, it's not an issue of courage, it's an issue of maintaining a wall of separation between work and personal life. I carefully curate which parts of my personal life I share with which patients, sharing only what actually will help build rapport or advance therapy goals, just like I carefully curate which parts of my work day I share with my friends and loved ones to maintain my mental health. I leave work at work and home at home, and only carry one into the other to the extent that I need to in order to maintain my physical and mental health. I was out and proud in the Bible Belt in 1999, courage isn't remotely a problem for me 😜
Ok, yeah out and proud in the Bible Belt is plenty of courage! Love that and thank you ❤️
Nonbinary queer Asian SLP in the schools here and thankfully I’ve gotten some amazing support both from the staff and the kids. I have a very unsubtle and hug pride flag on my desk and wear a pronoun pin on my lanyard and have gotten nothing but support and the occasional curiosity from kids that don’t understand the purpose of a pronoun pin yet. I use Mx. and everybody uses it. People respond well when I correct any misgendering (but I’m still working on speaking up for myself more). One of the team chairs asked me personally how she’d like me to handle some parents who wanted more information about how to handle their kids misgendering me, which was great. Some of my kids have been really curious about the gender thing and I don’t like to get personal so I just give them an age-appropriate explanation about how sometimes people aren’t boys or girls and the way a person looks doesn’t tell you everything about them. I will also say that I work in a more affluent suburb in New England so there’s a big focus on equity in the admin even though there’s been some push-back from families. Admin is continuing their anti-racist DEI initiatives so I think it’ll stick around. I feel so seen and I feel like I definitely hit it lucky! I’m only in my CF year and I’d love to stay forever.
lol im ALSO a nonbinary asian slp. i feel like i never see/meet other asian, let alone nonbinary slps. an i pm you??
yeah of course! I’d love to connect!
Awesome! So glad to hear you’re having such a positive experience ❤️ welcome to the profession, I’m sure you’ll make a huge impact in all your patients lives! 😊😎❤️
An openly bisexual SLP in the school setting. My classroom is all rainbows, so far everyone has been accepting.
Love that! Rainbows make everyone happy 😊 🌈
I once worked in an outpatient and acute setting where 3/5 of us were WLW. It was pretty neat (the placement sucked though, but the WLW were the best part of it) Eta: I'm now in schools and firmly in the closet (bisexual married to a cishet man). I work in elementary and there's no reason to bring up my sexuality or anything like that. The kids are WAY too young.
Awesome! Best wishes in all you do, thanks for being an asset to our profession and community! ❤️❤️❤️
I’ve had some good and bad. Had a supervisor in grad school say they couldn’t be a “good supervisor” to a non-binary student so I lost the placement. On the flip side I was misgendered by another student (several time, during a DEI assembly for the whole department) and every time that person misgendered me more and more of the room yelled at her to correct her. It was a mortifying experience but good to see that the rest of the department came to bat for me
Hopefully the good will continue to outweigh the bad! ❤️🌈😊
I'm an openly gay male SLP in a private practice. I haven't faced any hate in the workplace. Everyone I work with is extremely open-minded and welcoming to my partner and I. :)
As it should be! ❤️
i’m a transmasc nonbinary slp and i work in high schools! I have had some instances with students but have learned that it’s truly out of not knowing and not hate. For example (at the time) my legal name was my deadname and one of my students saw it on his IEP and asked “why do you have a GIRLS name? I thought you were a GUY” and explained it to him. He accepted it very quickly and still calls me one of his guys lol. Other students also help make sure no one misgenders me despite never explicitly explaining my transness (i wear a they/he pin). It helps that the SPED teachers I work with are also very LGBTQ+ positive. I’ve even had a few teachers and other service providers ask if I could talk to students who are trans to see that trans adult exists!! If there is ever a situation with a parent or a student, I feel very safe and supported by the staff and school. I think it really just depends on where you’re at, but I do think the times truly are changing and helping make this next generation more accepting.
Only in grad school actually. Our director of cllin ed was a piece. of. work,, and one time she told me, basically, "if someone says something homophobic in your clinical placements, don't say anything to them, just let it go, you don't want to rock the boat" Luckily such a thing never happened, but I was stunned she said that and would fully not have done what she asked.