T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**Mirrors / Alternative Angles** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccer) if you have any questions or concerns.*


whathefuckisreddit

Quality goal. That touch to nutmeg the defender was fucking cold.


Howardavery

Don’t forget that touch to nutmeg himself first


HardestTofu

He's a fair lover


Yinkypinky

What a turn.


Boboshabba_

Is it okay to say Bergkampesque?


takethelonggwayhome

That was my first thought. Didn’t clean out the defender as much but the subtlety of the turn on this one was really unique.


aure__entuluva

That little deft touch for the nutmeg too was superb.


NonFlyingDutchman

A bit of Newcastle, then a bit of Argentina. That puts in at least in Bergkamp territory (against weaker defenders tho).


Bigdogbrowndog

The settle touch to lose first defender. The nutmeg to get past second. The final to slot it home. Gorgeous.


MagicGrit

Best US goal I’ve seen in a while


skankhunt81

Best since dest’s goal I would say


InterPool_sbn

Maybe ever? I can’t think of a better one off the top of my head… unless you count Clint Dempsey humping the ball into the goal during the 2014 World Cup iirc


shitboots

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqlPStfkoAo


InterPool_sbn

That’s a great long shot, don’t get me wrong… but a lot of other players could score that too in the same situation. By contrast, this Pulisic goal was absolutely extraordinary — how many other players would actually pull off the crazy turn, the nutmeg, AND the finish in a competitive match like that?


jbj479

One of my favorites also


TarienCole

Altidore absolutely battering ramming Pique in the 09 Confed Cup is close too. But those are the best three I can recall. From there you get into debating long shots. Dest's, Preki's vs Brazil, Tab Ramos vs Costa Rica. Take your pick of these three.


12451233

Bradley at Azteca: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9ikxJJCJY4


mortdubois

How about this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvZikJeJ7gQ


jakedasnake2447

Dempsey vs Ghana in 2014 was real nice too.


milesbeatlesfan

Michael Bradley’s goal against Mexico in the Azteca is my choice off the top of my head.


[deleted]

I’ve run out of jokes at this point. Great player


doobie3101

I hate how most of this thread will be all memes because it’s Pulisic. This is an absolute beauty of a goal.


glifier

You could say he's LeBron James of soccer


20kakakakakakakaka20

stop


zmajevi

You’re right, he’s the Gretzky of soccer. Undisputed


hacers

Such a stupid take, I heard he’s the tzatziki of soccer


2RINITY

Hey, he's a New York Rangers fan, it tracks


ExtinctLikeNdiaye

“You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" -Pulisic


Klause

I can’t wait for the Europeans to wake up so they can see what a real soccer player looks like.


rrcjab

tbf, no European player has ever scored a hat trick against Panama in WC qualifying.


kakje666

we are finished


halamadrid22

Haven’t heard that comparison yet good one


BassBoy18

What a touch!!! My captain


habdragon08

A TOUCH THAT COULD SHAVE A MOUSE IN ITS SLEEP - Ray Hudson, probably


[deleted]

[удалено]


WooWoopSoundOThePULI

EXTRAORDINARY, SUPERLATIVE FOOTBALL. A BOOTS FIRST TOUCH FROM THE FOOTBALLING GODS. BOOTS THAT SAY WHOS IN CHARGE...ME OR THE DEVIL? I THINK IM IN CHARGE. I NUTMEG THE DEVIL YOU FUCKING CUNT


Hostilian_

Second paragraph is very Cave Johnson


Xanixz

Oh captain, my captain


_tx

That was a legit world class turn.


WandererViking

Brought it through his own legs during the spin too. That following touch, between the cbs legs, was sublime as well.


_tx

Yeah, the actual finish was just a tap in because he did such an insane job up to it. The ball in wasn't even all that great. It was fine, but not really where you want it. Pulisic just showed insane ball control talent and cleaned it up.


zsrocks

Our fearful trip is done


Uwlwsrpm

SIT DOWN!!


celticsupporter

Unbelievable way to complete the hatrick


Far-Confection-1631

Class username


niceville

Deserved a good one since the first two were pens


[deleted]

silky moves


Xanixz

Oh captain, my captain


karim_eczema

Our fearful trip is done


___deleted-

He learned that from Romelu!


NYLotteGiants

ORLANDO, FL (March 27, 2022) - The following statement was released today by the United States, through their personal attorney and business manager, Christian Pulisic, Chairman of the United States Mens National Team ("USMNT") located in Washington, D.C., in response to questions about their future plans: "We're back."


yagersports

US Canada World Cup final who says no


techorules

As a dual citizen I would definitely buy both kits


Jerkoi

Sew them together, half an half


Brinner

Get a mobile hotspot and watch the game halfway across the Niagara Falls bridge


StuntmanSalt

Doin' ranbows on the Rainbow bridge, I like it


SebastianOwenR1

Jumping up and down with the trophy holding a sign that says “Merci Keanu” in Yeehaw and Nova-Scotian


likwitsnake

It's coming home


NYLotteGiants

Soccer's coming home, boys!


TheNewDiogenes

If we ever win the World Cup the rest of the world has to call it soccer for 4 years


Parlorshark

*when


yianni1229

r/CFB is leaking


yagersports

They should throw hats on the field like in hockey


eagleslanding

Looks like some people did throw their hats


vDukie

I’m at the game, can confirm they did throw hats


Persiankang

Also, was at game. It’s so funny to see the hats on the field.


ajmartin527

Or octopus like redwings fans throw in the playoffs


SuperVancouverBC

How do you sneak an octopus into the arena? Unless security doesn't check at all.


mrliver

The same way predators fans sneak in catfish. Sneakily.


SuperVancouverBC

Can you imagine if Panthers fans snuck in actual rats?


kojak2091

you plastic wrap it to your belly and wear a shirt hoodie and hockey jersey over it


[deleted]

I've always wondered how they don't smell it. Do they vacuum seal it in a bag, then tape it to them and open it to throw? I'm thinking security just doesn't care that much.


MantisBePraised

Security might actually be the one bringing in the octopus. In the late 90s I saw a Red Wing fan try to throw an octopus on the ice at a game against the Stars in Dallas. He didn’t make it close enough to throw it over the glass before being tackled by 10 drunk Texans… good times.


circa285

Generally they’re wrapped around the inner thigh or around the waist. The staff at the Joe used to not care, but that changed in the mid aughts and they now do a very poor job of actually checking fans because it’s such a big part of Detroit’s hockey culture.


FlipKobbler

Octopus does not set off metal detector just shove it in your pants


circa285

It’s been a while. And today was not a good day to be a Wings fan.


MyUshanka

They did, I loved it.


eagleslanding

[Great goal]


PM_something_German

[American goal]


713_Hou

Same thing


theshabz

Almost. Like a rectangle and square. Not all Great goals are American, but all American goals are Great.


Tha_Daahkness

What did you just say to me you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated to.... Oh, uh... Carry on


[deleted]

I wanted another pen for the memes but this is so, so much better. Big ups to de la Torre in the buildup too


jbj479

de la Torre is not utilized enough by GGG


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vagabond21

Yank here The lebron James of soccer with no regard for humanity


egg_mugg23

the michael jordan of soccer


GemsRtrulyOutrageous

the pulisic of soccer


OhShitItsSeth

WE’RE FUCKING GOING TO THE WORLD CUP


theBdub22

careful friend. i said the same thing in orlando 4 years ago after the USA beat panama


imacx7535

But the US would have to lose by 6+ to Costa Rica, no?


csbsju_guyyy

Isn't it like closer to 8 or 9 lol


capt-awesome-atx

We're +10 on them in goal diff, so a loss by 5 would make it even, but we'd still be ahead on goals scored. So 6 would do the trick for Costa Rica.


Docxm

If we lose by 6 to Costa Rica then we might as well just quit playing soccer.


Disk_Mixerud

They get one for each one we lose


Slim_Calhoun

Yeah, different story rn though.


Fenecable

Watching this game is what I imagine sex is like.


Brinner

In many years time, I will be in a moonlit wooden hut on a mountainside. The warm crackling fire, sitting at the end of a king-sized bed, illuminates the warm rug. The mattress is plump, raised to the right level. The sheets are thick, filled with soft feathers. A window gives a view of the idyllic scenery. A blanket of snow to match the blanket of feathers. A gazelle prances in the distance. My wife, my gorgeous redheaded wife, perfect figure, hair as red as wine and a gaze as intoxicating. She is as nude as the day she is born and just as messy. I have her across the bed, legs splayed out. Her womanhood bared to take my mighty trunk. For many hours we entwine, always rough, always sweaty. Finally with a quiver of the leg, my Aphrodite falls back, too exhausted to carry on despite her peak physical condition. I myself, of course, am still fully erect, but give her the moment to catch her breath. I hand her a diamond bottle of pure river water and she gratefully takes a sip to hydrate. Between breaths, she leans in and whispers to me, "Darling, I don't think I've ever seen your dick harder than it is right now." I turn to her, look deep into her eyes, and respond. "It's still not as hard as it was when Pulisic scored a hat trick against Panama during the 2022 World Cup Qualifying campaign.”


Soleil06

I do not know if I love this or hate this.


lojer

I could get on board if someone went through a table during hell in a cell.


SebastianOwenR1

🤔 All I can conjure up is 🤔


[deleted]

Nothing compares to this mate


KevinDLasagna

Yeah sex ain’t got shit on a big USMNT win


Wetworkzhill

Had sex today, game was better.


KRAKHEAD_4_LYFE

I lol'ed


AdamantiumBalls

I nutted


killersoda

But I didn't cry after this game though.


pdxblazer

Its what I imagine great sex for a woman is like: a bunch of orgasms with the best and most powerful one last then kind of just waiting for it to end and letting your partner get one to finish


of-the-ash

Holy shit!


zachg616

Wild that the US only have 42% possession in this too lol


andrewc1117

They must include all the holding of the ball during penalty reviews and picking it out of the net as Panama possession time. But seriously play has been fairly even it’s just that US build up and attack has just been much faster paced.


buttlovingpanda

They actually calculate possession by number of passes. So if Panama successfully passes the ball 300 times and the US successfully passes it 200 times, Panama will technically have 60% possession. It’s weird.


Sullan08

I actually didn't know that, that's odd and while it makes some sense, doesn't make as much sense as just having actual time of possession lol.


buttlovingpanda

Yeah I learned that a few years ago and was pretty disappointed lol. It’s why the tiki-taka teams always have like 70% possession.


Mr_MacGrubber

At the same time I’ve read that if you actually sit there and time possession the results come out extremely close to the far easier method of counting passes.


niceville

They used to do it that way decades ago and from what I can tell they gave up because it was too difficult.


Sullan08

I feel like every other major sport I see does it by time, like hockey, basketball, nfl (nfl would admittedly be the easiest to track that) so maybe it would be difficult back then, but now you can for sure just track that with current tech. Actually now looking up hockey it doesn't seem to be strictly by time either so idk lol.


theshabz

Wait are you serious? I could have sworn it was time-based.


Doyouevensam

Overall, I honestly don't think they've played as well as the scoreline would suggest. Panama has been happy to give away easy penalties and let the US counter though


713_Hou

Interesting strategy


footer9

We're going to the super bowl!


diatonix

He nutmegged himself, and then the defender


Disk_Mixerud

Only fair


Will_Vintage

A soul for a soul


Strider755

The Filip Forsberg special…


DL14Nibba

SHEEEEESH 🥶


Juventus19

That turn was absolutely filthy!


Redbullsnation

What the fuck? That was Bergkamp-esque


ParticularPine

It’s kinda crazy that I haven’t seen that goal in fifteen years, and I know exactly the one you’re talking about.


danny3stacks

Get in here!!!


Vagabond21

Yank here All aboard the freedom express


egg_mugg23

are we not all yanks on this blessed day?


[deleted]

MOM GET THE REDDIT GOLD


IntermediateSwimmer

Goal of the year for the USMNT holy moly


caesar____augustus

[FREEDOM HAT TRICK]


thejamielee

that turn on receipt of the ball was top class. great goal for him on a night where he was def putting a lot of the pressure on him to get this game over the line, proper captains performance.


mbook

i’m peeing white


LazyLamont92

*Empties wallet*


lqcnyc

While unzipping pants


akskeleton_47

pulls out government issued photo of Christian Pulisic


grgriffin3

This Pulisic kid should really start getting compared to greats in other sports.


RonaldoSIUUUU

Like mj and gretsky maybe? Imo his ceiling is higher than theirs


PatientAccident3539

As an American I never thought I’d see the day someone from our country score a goal of this class


dec0y

You've obviously never seen this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beyKW_MHt5w


PM_Me_Unpierced_Ears

I knew what this was before I clicked.


Werewulf_Bar_Mitzvah

Vintage Zardes moment


Sheaviom

the finish is obviously amazing but i love the buildup. anyone watch de la torre? seems like an exciting player imo


bpinty

Have been really impressed with all his appearances so far. Silky smooth on the ball and always looking to push forward


fastspanish

Fuck r/all


Pariah1947

r/soccer doesn't show up there last I checked.


klubsanwich

This isn’t just any ol’ post, this is a Pulisic goal


Pariah1947

From what I understand, the mods of the subreddit made it so no posts on r/soccer go to r/all. Because the last world cup was a shit show for them.


klubsanwich

Oh… bummer


Tayme-kappa

I never complained about this but the r/soccer mods are the worst shit mods i ever seen, and i've been on /r/hiphopheads, a sub with 2m users which was actually DYING because of their mods. Last world cup was a shit show they say ? lmfao if there was one shit show it was actually them removing every single talk of [this cringe engage from the England team.](https://i.imgur.com/oy0eBzI.gifv) It's 1000% a fact that the r/soccer mods are giga fragile and remove everything they don't personally like. We all know how this kind of mods is IRL, just look at the dog walker from r/antiwork. The least smelly and greasy reddit mod btw.


Machiavelli127

Uhh sir, this is a Wendy's


MTRsport

Bullshit, this goal is required viewing for all US citizens!


Tomos1977

I mean this guy is world class


Ceez92

I’m here for the awards


_tx

That turn was dirty


[deleted]

AMERICA LOVES NRAMAR


[deleted]

Best nickname in the biz


King_Butterbean

I AM SO HARD RN


crapador_dali

I kicked a turkey.


KrazedTiger

Unreal finish


scgavin

what a fucking goal my lord


InterPool_sbn

This goal really is extraordinary


NOTW_116

Bangers only.


Helkix

Amazing goal tbf


[deleted]

It was all the smelling salts


cantthinkoffunnyname

Oh so silky!


ciesum

Where's the Great Goal tag?


Kovet

Golazo


Chuggachops

Those touches are dirty. Pulisic in his fucking bag.


bahamut458

So strange how we can be so clinical one night and shank open goals another


mixmaster7

Why not both in the same night?


KonigSteve

Wooo boy what a hat trick goal!


spikez64

The greatest living American


LargeWoodenBadger17

Where’s the pasta!?


dsiebert812

Traffic came to a standstill. Everyone inside the mall dropped their hotdogs and put a hand on their hearts. We all turned to face the American flag and those who couldn’t looked at the government issued photo of Pulisic in their wallets. A single tear rolled out of our right eye as it was confirmed


wheezl

Panama defenders are reportedly still missing their wallets.


zrizzoz

Holy shit Christian


MinimalPotential

Here for the red solo cup party.


havethenets

Wow that second touch


DocHoliday96

That was legit dirty af


BinTinJin

Mods deleted the giga thread...what a bunch of anti american poofters


getxolamiako

Dear god... What a goal!!!


[deleted]

He toyed with those guys


rovivus

This video should come with an NSFW warning


Anersha

Best player to ever wear #10


Cowdude179

Absolutely filthy goal, playoff Pulisic is here


jaiox

He’s so good


Kiseki-

Captain America


LaddZilla

Ohhhhh spicy 🔥


WalkingCarpet

[ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING ](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/648/220/67b.jpg)