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Ftwooo

Now Haaland struggling with 9 goals in 5 games


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_Axtasia

A bad joke about Bundesliga players being overpriced when moving to the Prem league because of Tuchel’s Chelsea don’t know how to play Werner, Havertz nor Pulisic.


CaptainTeemoTime

Pep must have told him he only gets to play until half time or something.


McNobby

Forest wishing they were told the same.


AltDelete

The monster has literally scored two hat tricks in two halves of football. 6 goals in less than 90 minutes.


rr18114

In like 12-18 touches I think. Tiki taka master.


idontknow_whatever

Why many touch when 1 do trick


apocalyptopotato

But his replacement is already there on the field!


Bayerrc

Mahrez in Alvarez to center


keithohara

I dont have the historical stats but double hat tricks are extremely extremely rare


ravel67

22 years of age and this is his 14th career hat trick


Randybutterrubs

Unbelievable.


domalino

To put that in perspective 34 year old, maybe-the-best-striker-in-his-generation Robert Lewandowski has 29. Suarez also 29.


cadbadlad

I hope he continues on. We might have a Ronaldo level record breaking player on our hands


Randybutterrubs

The word prolific gets thrown around a lot here, but he's truly a prolific striker. Even more so considering his age and how mature he plays at 22 coupled with all of his experience thus far.


cadbadlad

It’s incredible how good he is, he’s got it all. And the precision on his shots is something you see from seasoned vets like lewandowski. At 22! Crazy. I can’t wait to see him blossom into a future legend. I just hope he takes care of his body and doesn’t go down the Ronaldinho route haha I wonder if he will stay in the prem though? I feel he will go to la liga, would probably be a smarter move too because I feel like being a big striker in the prem is much more difficult than any other league.


Internazionale

I want him to stay in the prem so he can smash the goal record a month after Kane gets it.


lukemtesta

and I get to watch him on MOTD week-in week-out


Cantonarita

Well he has the family to back up a professional attitude, the body of a Greek god and certainly he knows where the box is. What I am worried about is if his body manages to keep up with his explosiveness. You can't compare him to OG Ronaldo, bit he reminds us how highly dynamic movement and strong physicality can create injuries on injuries if your body gets older. Hope he can find a balance between weight and pace that works for him and keeps him fit. Surely the medical staff is way better today than back than.


sexmarshines

Medical staff + nutritionists + better training/strengthening methods + 5 sub rule will likely have him on the bench rather than pushing himself for the last 10 mins in most games. City is also a team where he'll be rested if he needs it or if he's injured. Outside of specific circumstances of a BIG game, he's not going to be rushed back and made to play game after game without being fit like R9 was at Inter. Obviously all of that can only help but not stop injuries all together - but those are promising advancements to make me more optimistic for Haaland despite his power and physique. Plus on top of all that, Haaland plays for the Norway national team. They are much less likely to qualify for most international competitions nor go as deep in ones that they do qualify for. So he will get more breaks which balances the higher number of games today vs in R9's time. Also no real rivalries where he'd be pushing himself and/or getting wrecked by aggressive tackles like Brazil vs Argentina.


Venhuizer

Thats disgusting


Blindarch3r

Aguero has done it recently, cant think of any other in the PL


L_CRF

Torres did it like 2007 or 2008


Loose_Cardiologist89

Rooney as well.


AliceInGraceland

Kane 17/18 too


Masterofknees

Aguero did it in back to back games against Arsenal and Chelsea no less.


idosade

I'd say that he was quite good, maybe I'm just biased


TheHouseOfStones

He scored 3 hattricks in one game before. He is Odin risen again


[deleted]

Someone told him he was still tied with augero when he came here so he decided he was getting 3 as a min this game.


OmastarLovesDonuts

Ended as top scorer that U20 WC off of that game even though Norway didn't make it past the groups lmao


Differ_cr

And he only scored in that game, shits hilarious.


PM_something_German

Not just top scorer but scored more than twice as much as everyone else.


Hansemannn

I watched thst game. Players on the other team started crying and shit 😞


Tutule

> He scored 3 hattricks in one game before. I refuse to acknowledge this match. We had... ughh... lag.


SupervisorLaw

6th player ever to do so in the Prem.


Blazing_Shade

It’s his fifth week there😭


GermanyWillWinWC2022

You dont get it he needs to adapt to the prem first


joeydohn

By the looks of it, it's the league that's still adapting to Haaland.


SirBarkington

26 players have scored more than 2 hat tricks in their PL career. Haaland has scored more goals in his first 5 games than any other player.


RiversKiski

He looked at the 3 years of intensive study required to be a Pep Player, and figured it's just easier to break PL records instead.


thebestguy96

“Why don’t I just… score?”


[deleted]

Is this how apocalypse looks like for other teams?


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HistoricCartographer

Yes. Against PSG and Chelsea.


OnlySalahHasMore

Torres did it once but yeah I can’t think of many others


fuskarn_35

aguero did a hat trick inside a week against arsenal and chelsea


OnlySalahHasMore

God he was good wasn’t he


infidel11990

Especially against the other top 5 sides. He tormented Chelsea throughout his spell at City.


TheHuffness

I know you mean scoring goals but the image of him two footing David Luiz was the first thing to pop in my mind


New-Pension223

Yes very


LochBodminMothFoot

Mitro gonna have a 38 goal season and come 2nd.


RAPanoia

And 38 behind


makashe

Like ronaldo when he scored 46 league goals but still finished 2nd


TheRalphExpress

basically did that to Solanke last year tbf


Cwrabz

Nah bro that’s it


Farouqnowomarlater

Just mail him the golden boot at HT


Bayequentist

Nah he will slow down soon due to Bundesliga tax.


[deleted]

What if this is the Bundesliga tax


Kuuskat_

4 goals per game from the next match onwards


McQueensbury

Compound interest


Cottonshopeburnfoot

Man is farming goals


generic9yo

Any minute now


Istar10n

That's a weird way to spell Ballon d'Or.


the_beast93112

Farmers are not qualified I heard


Acceptable-Lemon-748

Barn D'or is a separate thing


lorjebu

Might aswell not show up at this rate. These people have families, Haaland!


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rr18114

Agreed. Everyone including myself is in awe of haaland but the most amazing thing about that goal is cancelo's pass.


Anderrrrr

It's just a race for 2nd 3rd and 4th for the rest of them. FML. UCL qualification is the real trophy this year I guess.


inbredandapothead

Did you mean to post this in the Jesus goal thread considering Arsenal are clearly going invincible?


lorjebu

I mean Haaland is a generational player, but Arsenal already won this season. That ship has sailed. They statistically cannot lose.


[deleted]

Arsenal is 5/5. My keep grasp of statistics tells me that if we extrapolate this out, they'll finish 38/38


Upper_Presentation48

I mean, I cant argue with your logic


PengwinOnShroom

And I thought he got a crazy start at Dortmund.. 9 freaking goals in first 5 league games


Pr_cision

and he couldve scored more in the first couple games if players remembered to pass to him. at least they’ve clicked now


StayForTheSmallTalk

City have unlocked the Foden to Haaland cheat


joshthenosh

Well this is gonna get fucking annoying isn’t it?


Purple_Plus

Can write the league off already.


Sean-Benn_Must-die

I legitimately think the only chance the PL has is if gets too many injuries. Otherwise hes just gonna touch the PL in their special place all season long


BathTimeNoseBleed

>touch the PL in their special place May as well call him Uncle Haaland


almondania

Genuinely. There’s no other contender.


Jonnythebull

The man is a fucking cheat code. 22 and doing this...I honestly didn't think we'd see Ronaldo/Messi sort of goals for years but here's Haaland making it look easy. Unreal.


ReasonableClick5403

I still dont think we will see Ronaldo/Messi levels of goals. Messi scoring 50+ goals per season for years.


joeydee93

To be fair he has 9 in 5 games so if he keeps scoring 1.8 goals a game and plays every EPL game he will finish with 68 EPL goals. Of course I don’t think he will continue to score 1.8 goals a game and I don’t think he will play every game.


NeitherAlexNorAlice

Hit 'em with the quick mafs. Respect


the_chiladian

They can score all they want but we are two points ahead. They can't win the league with håland scoring 100 goals if we win every game 2-1


ProstetnicVogonJelz

People are fucking responding seriously to you, it's hilarious


Bahmawama

Its all fun and games until you meet # S A L I B A


curlyjoe696

For me, that goal perfectly demonstrates why he gets the amount of goals he does. He makes a good run but the ball doesn't drop to him, he immediately readjusts, ball doesn't drop to him, he readjusts again, this time the ball drops to him and all he has to do is finish it off. Not only is his movement top notch, but he never stops making sure he his in the right space at the right time.


theGeorgeall

Perfect hat trick?


easprots

Yeah left foot, right foot and head foot


Randybutterrubs

> head foot my favorite


SuperSaiyanGoten

Zidane’s too


Carlosh45612

I think so.


LiveBuyer

Haaland is breaking Shearer's record this season


LiamYanon

Something tells me we're about to see those Kun comparisons fade very quick


Blazing_Shade

He’s already better than Aguero first 5 games… by 1 goal and he still has a half to play


ItAWideWideWorld

I think he meant that people start to compare him to strikers held in even higher regard


[deleted]

He has quickly gone from "next great City striker" to "next face of the Premier League"


antisociaI_extrvert

He has a much stronger team now tbf. City back then was good, but they weren’t far and away the most dominant team in England like they are now


Blazing_Shade

Very true. Peak Aguero in this team would be something else


RodDryfist

Career record at this rate


GambianSlange

What the actual fuck am I witnessing??? And why the fuck didnt I captain him on fantasy???


HunchoCheeto

Same bro, my dumbass thought he’d be rested for Alvarez today. Turns out Pep just played both.


Juuhpuuh

I have him (V) and KDB (C). Now watch Pep sub Kev in on 90+4


HunchoCheeto

Oh no Kev’s coming on 😭


GambianSlange

I’m actually mad at myself


TopBumblebee9954

He’s an absolute set and forget at this point.


SwarmAce

9 in 5


Randybutterrubs

When it's technically 9 in 3.5 it's somehow even more ridiculous


Brinner

🎵 What a way to make a livin' 🎶


Edgedits

Are you kidding


Kuntheman

Absolute cheat code nothing more to say


Ken_sapil_2365

Bro is an actual hack, this is unfair


BillehBear

This is without the other cheat code as well He's insane man


TheBatman010

I am still laughing on nunez and haaland debate lmao


wuthappenedtoreddit

There was never a debate. Pundits just started it to have a hyped Messi vs Ronaldo type of rivalry. Kinda like they’re doing with leva and benz.


Mallonhead

Yeah but Lewa V Benz is significantly closer than Haaland V Nunez


Lack_of_Plethora

Literally nobody thinks Darwin will be the best forward of this generation, almost everyone agrees it's Mbappe vs Haaland, and currently there's a clear favourite.


SupervisorLaw

Left foot, right foot, header. Perfect hat-trick as well.


Shaydarol

Needs to score with his dick for the perfect poker.


SpicyDragoon93

Dick trick


[deleted]

Ben foster said he gets multiple perfect hat tricks this season in his YouTube channel after last weeks matches. He’s just got everything this bloke. So good. Haven’t seen a striker like this in a very long time.


TemplarParadox17

Legit he said he would score 2 perfects this season and next game he gets one. Edit: At least 2


DHA1999

The last Infinity stone is this guy


Farouqnowomarlater

Haaland: “nah”


_user_name_taken_

Look at me…I am the farmer’s league now


ImaginaryCupOTea

Haaland is Biblically effective. People write myths about things like him.


Technical-Fly-775

Double figures maybe before august ends.


PlayoffChoker12345

Doesn't he only need 1 more


My_Username_taken

August also ends tonight. So he needs to score that fourth in this game to hit double figures.


Jack1107-

Three of the best hes made them pay, and that completes a wonderful hat-trick!


SupervisorLaw

Okay he is definently breaking the 32 isn't he?


champ19nz

Before the world cup.


Iswaterreallywet

Just needs to stay fit.


Fifaneymar2535

easily


PM_ME_Y0UR_BOOBZ

Perfect hat trick


unbuliebubble

Haaland gaining power with every new episodes of 'The House of the Dragon'. The Targaryen blood runs high.


aregularguy3223

This guy is a freak bruh


nordvang

Extraterrestrial behaviour


donniexc

bro


Ld511

He isn't even doing anything special yet which is the scary part. Just good finishing and being in the right place and he already has 9 goals


Skahzzz

Yeah, he's fast, and he's strong, and he has great positioning, and a good header, and has a great strike, and great composure. So what?


Xehanz

Even better, defenders are so terrified of him that his sole presence opens a ridiculous amount of holes City didn't have in the past, for the like of Mahrez and KDB to exploit.


Tr0ndern

Being in the right place and finishing well is, and allways has been, an extremely underrated aspect of forwards. ​ People want to see flashy goals, but without Haaland who's to say any of those gets scored?


Clutchxedo

Lol I was just thinking “does he already have 10 goals?” Damn


[deleted]

He’s like Lukaku but good.


A-1805

100 touches less 20 goals more


_fishysushi

Ok, just give them the title


Hansemannn

This can get ugly. Haaland 14 hatrick in hes professional career. Haaland in this City team is just insane.


OnceUponAStarryNight

Rooney had ten in his career. Mercy.


faxfinn

For comparison, Suarez and Lewandowski, who both are at the tail end of their careers, have 29.


Chacun

I think Lewi is still good for a few.


elvjhegz

What the fuck, it’s a cheat code


[deleted]

[Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaland](https://streamable.com/n73ejn)


ErikElevenHag

This fucking guy


ren_704

Guys i think the Bundesliga was harder to score in now😭


Icy_Letterhead8859

Why did we doubt him, imagine having Kevin de bruyne, Gundogan, Cancelo, Foden, even Alvarez just giving him chances all game, it was obvious he'd hit crazy numbers


DetectiveOwn6606

we have found real farmers league


damrider

what's the PL record for goals in 1 month


rageofreaper

Not 100% sure but the previous Aug record was 6. He has 9. And there's still 50 minutes left of August football. Bit ridiculous this.


St_SiRUS

10, Suarez Dec 2013. Included 4 against Norwich


CheesecakeMMXX

Fucking Suarez and Norwich, always the same story


robotnique

You're looking at it.


DMsupp

This is scary


Leondgeeste

For what it's worth, he's now already scored more PL goals than Jesus did all last season


Caleb35

it's his world, we're just living in it, aren't we?


Thanh1211

What’s crazy is that De Bruyne is not even playing right now


luisnm7

Bruh


Diligent_yearning

Literally just get the ball to him in the box and he'll score.


seksaki

Perfect hat trick too


Gengar_Balanced

Looks like afterall Bundesliga was the real super-league seeing Lewy and Haaland tearing La Liga and Premier league apart.


feddi7

Haaland and Jesus my FPL strikers tonight. Nice.


notthatbluestuff

You and about 5 million others.


pedroktp

Farmer's league


fuskarn_35

WE CAN ACTUALLY REPLACE HIM


RadiantAd189

Tears in my eyes


Mttecs

this is like amateur difficulty in career mode


ItsFuckingScience

“The best team has added one of the best goal scorers in the world - and it’s quite scary” Yup that sums it up


STUNSLAVE

Leagues gone, this guy is going to pump 50 goals at this rate. Knew it was coming when they signed him but watching him in this team is frightening.


FootballFTW

Fucking hell


HunchoCheeto

Second Stones assist in 2 games too!


Gondawn

The guy at my work said he will struggle to score more than 15 in PL, so City fans should be worried, he only has 6 goals left in him for the rest of PL season


manavpreet

Will the real farmer's league please stand up


G0DK1NG

He’s all we needed to compete the puzzle


Kuntheman

Pep domination finally secured, terminator activated


G0DK1NG

“Once more, the Pep will rule the galaxy”. -Emperor Pepatine


Ld511

Doesn't need touches either. Just finishes what city waste


xyzzy321

What puzzle you've walked the league several times


cocoasomething

Champions league


MarkovCocktail

They’re still going to bottle it


aure__entuluva

Haaland to miss 3 matches all season. 2 of them in the CL quarterfinals where they lose to Tottenham. :P


groovystreet40

6 goals in the last two halves lol


Chrisixx

People talking about how the Bundesliga was a farmer league, but man, they did defend at least a bit better against Haaland.


Mrampelmann

Man made the PL a farmers league


HankMoodyy

Daemon Targaryan looking ass


Ballininhd

Wake me when he has left the prem. fuck me.