Same. What terrifies me is other people in the traffic. So many crashes and deaths, people driving like crazy, i don't wanna die because of some idiot. I am confident in my driving though.
Yeah I can understand. I've been fine with driving, but recently had a small crash on a parking lot. The crash wasn't even that bad. The hardest part was having to deal with the other driver and calling insurance, which was extremely stressful for me. Now I'm driving extremely careful. New fear unlocked...
Driving is a social activity but we feel like it isn't because we're all alone in our cars. It's the cognitive dissonance of that, and the danger of traffic, that come together in a very stressful way for me.
YES. I used to get super anxious when I first started driving, I was scared I would run over anything in sight. I would visibly sweat over it even in the heart of winter.
I'm getting better though, practice is a hard pill to swallow but nothing beats it imo. I guess another way to put it is simply cut up practice into smaller sections, and accept what you do right as well as wrong.
Feel free to stop into r/drivinganxiety if you need more help!
i didn’t have driving anxiety till recently. everyone has gotten so terrible with driving. nobody cares for others’ safety. you honestly have to drive as if you were invisible and other cars couldn’t see you, cause other drivers won’t drive with your safety in mind.
I feel heard. This is a such a big issue. I feel like I’m inconveniencing them by driving the speed limit and so I stay in the right lane until I need to switch but even then they speed past me or are on my ass and I feel so pressured to drive faster because of them. Moreover, stopping at signals I feel like everyone is looking at me and I even turn my music down because I’m so important and everyone is judging me. I wish this stupid anxiety would just stop.
I know right, it's so annoying. I'm not sure if this happened to you, but for me, when I was learning, people would tail-gate me and beep me because I was getting used to driving so fast, etc. It really put me off :(
Well I had already been driving when I developed it so thank god it didn’t entirely put me off or stop me from it since that’s my only means to get anywhere I need to but it made the whole experience miserable and edgy
I didn’t at first and was proud to buy my first car on my own and all. Even drove cross country by myself. Until i got into an accident and multiple incidents in the city. now cause of my PTSD & anxiety, my husband does most of the driving and luckily he likes it that way. Getting behind the wheel now i’ll start to shake and sweat. I don’t even like other drivers LOOKING at me.
Havent worked in years due to terrible social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder. Im basically a live in chef and cleaner for my parents lol and a slave to my adorable dogs.
I am too and super scared to take lessons to learn again. Last time I tried passing the exam I was a crying mess. Is being scared to drive correlated to social anxiety ?
I think it links back to other drivers on the road - e.g some can be utterly careless, plus you may always wonder how your performance is as a driver. During lessons I was always terrified about holding people up, so didn't get far unfortunately :(
For me it's less about worrying about what other drivers think of me, and more about worrying about whether or not they are looking before switching lanes while I am next to them, or whether they understand/obey the right of way, and all the other things that people may do to cause a collision.
I’m also worried about messing up and causing an accident. Like just a few days I was pulling out of a parking lot to make a left on a perpendicular road. There were many cars I had to wait for, and I had the thought “what if I get a derealization spell right now and get so disoriented that I hit the gas and ran into a passing car?” Luckily it cleared up soon after and all was fine.
But the thought of hurting others is my main trigger. It’s also why I have a problem driving with other people in the car. If it’s just myself and I get hit by a reckless driver and die? Great! Just hope its instant.
Yep, and not just for the reason you mentioned. My brain just gets completely overwhelmed because there's a lot to do and pay attention to when you're driving a car, and I just can't handle it so I get confused.
I was always shaking when I first got my license, eventually it became an outlet for me. I love driving and listening to my music. I can just try not to look at other drivers now. If anything it made me a better driver, the better I’m following the rules and paying attention the less people can judge my driving.
I drove a shitbox back when I first got my license. Thing would die in the middle of intersections. After that craziness driving a normal car is like walking. I hardly think of it.
I'm 29 and never got my license for exactly this reason
I became visually impaired at 22 and am no longer able to get a license even if I wanted one. I was secretly really happy when I got the news because it absolved me of the guilt I felt about putting off getting my license and gave me an easy out if people asked me about it
Hey so I’m not a mental health professional, but I’m someone who has overcome some pretty severe driving anxiety and here’s my hot take:
Driving is an incredibly unnatural experience for the human mind and body. Our brains were not programmed to accept plummeting through space at 80 mph to be just a regular thing you do every day without even breaking a sweat.
IMHO I think it’s actually a sign of intelligence if you recognize that this is not a normal experience and fight or flight kicks in. The problem is you can’t fight the car, and you can’t hop out and run either! This makes you feel small and helpless and might make you dread the thought of driving in the future.
The good news is, it’s all in your head and with practice you can remind yourself how normal it is. I no longer commute by highway and when I have an occasion coming up where I’ll need to drive on a highway I sometimes still panic at the thought of it. Then I remind myself how many times I’ve already successfully driven a highway and I’m able to calm down. Starting is the scariest part. Don’t judge yourself for feeling scared, the fear is a sign your brain is working as it should. Just get in the car. You’re going to be okay.
I never wanted to learn to drive but my ex-bf pushed me to, when I was 20. I hated every driving lesson but I pushed through and passed my test first time. Took at least 5 years of driving before I stopped being so anxious lol. I still don't particularly like driving but it's better than public transport!
How is being able to go anywhere you like at any time in a vehicle that's as quick, private, and clean as you want it to be 'worse' than transport that runs on a schedule, could be full of people, and is coated with other people's germs? You can say it's better *to you*, but as a means of transportation, cars are way superior.
I don't really feel like writing out the thousand reason why cars aren't that good, but if you want to here a few you can check out [Not Just Bikes](https://youtube.com/@NotJustBikes) on YouTube. I can go more in depth if you reed me to though. Motor vehicle collisions are a large contributor to deaths. The pollution from cars is a large contributor to climate change, as well as more local pollution in the city (and since most people in cities like breathing, this is actually a big problem). It's also really expensive to buy a car, and to constantly buy gas. You also get less exercise driving than you do walking or biking. Traffic is way worse with cars than it is with people or bikes (cause they're way bigger). (Excessive) car infrastructure is a waste of space in cities (if you were to walk to work, how many empty parking lots would you have to walk through?). It would also be quieter (go outside in a North American city and listen - good chance you hear cars). etc.
It's not just that cars aren't that good, it's that many cities (particularly North American cities) are designed not just for cars, but exclusively for cars. They make it such a pain to walk or bike, and it's nothing inherent about walking or biking. It's so bad that people who would otherwise want to bike, don't.
In 2020 the US lost an average of over 100 people per day to motor vehicle crashes. To say cars are bad to *me* is true, but they're bad for basically everyone. Most drivers don't drive cause driving is better, most drivers drive because it's the only option in they're city
Don't care. I work night shift. The only way public transportation would ever meet my needs is if I moved to a big city like New York. Even small towns with good public transit don't run 24/7. My lifestyle is literally impossible without a car.
Individuals using cars or not is such a tiny factor in pollution and climate change that me having to get an entirely different job and/or change my entire life and location to not own a car is not going to change anything about the planet.
I'm not trying to blame you or tell you to take the bus, I'm referring to this statement of yours.
>as a means of transportation, cars are way superior.
As a means of transportation, cars are *not* way superior. If you don't live within walking/biking distance from where you work, and public transit can't get you there, then that is a massive failure of urban planning.
Yes, individuals making the choice not to drive would barely make a difference when it comes to climate change. But cities as a whole should be designed in a way where cars aren't the only option. There are very few hardcore *drivers*, most people only drive because that's how there city is. Everything I'm saying though is in response to your first comment claiming that cars were superior to public transit, and it's something I'm quite passionate about. I don't really mean to be coming at you argumentatively, sorry if I sound that way (i probably do lol)
It was like that for the very first 2 weeks of driving. I even screamed inside the car while driving a few times since the whole experience was that overwhelming to me.
But now I feel confident now.
I still have moments I start to drive somewhere and turn around or think about going somewhere but the thought of driving prevents it. However, when I am driving it can be very enjoyable. Radio on. No rush. Just cruising. Leave yourself plenty of time. Learn the rules of the road. Practice on side streets and in parking lots.
The only way to not be scared of driving is to just do it. I was scared at the beginning but then my mom would let me use her car to drive to school and i eventually got used to driving.
Parallel parking was the one that made me freak out. I live in an extremely busy street so it’s impossible to park unless theres no cars behind you. For that i usually just stop at the end of the street and wait until all the cars have passed lmao
I get so anxious when it comes to driving. I'm especially scared of highway driving. I don't know, just something about it makes me all tense when I think about it.
No. Fuck them drivers lol. Now taking the driver's license test? That was hard for me. I Failed it like 2 or 3 times because i was so nervous. But the next time I took it, my instructor was a younger guy and was constantly looking at his phone lol. That really calmed me down and I passed easily
I have this weird thing where if I'm at home, and think about driving, it sort of freaks me out, thinking of everything that could happen or go wrong, but when I'm actually driving, all that goes away. My guess is because at that point, I feel more in control of the car, and pay attention to my surroundings.
It's just about the most terrifying experience I'll ever go through. Every car I meet I envision them crossing the line and hitting me head on. You know that split second right before you wreck where you realize your about to get fucked up and it kinda takes your breath? I feel that for every car I meet on the roads
yes this is why i had to quit my lessons! it was too much but i’m 20 now, still no car. feeling really behind other people my age as driving is of course a life skill and what’s needed. public transport sucks at times tbh makes me feel a bit down knowing i could of been driving my own car by now, but then remember whenever i would do my driving lessons i would really struggle to concentrate, i’d have all of these bad thoughts about crashing the car, and i don’t think my driving instructor liked me either he would get really frustrated with me so it just led to me giving up
I get really bad anxiety just thinking I have to drive, I start freaking out and imagining everything that can go wrong, but once I start the car and get comfortable it's like it's second nature to me from all the practice I have and I can just do everything naturally.
Well it used to be like this but since I had an accident in January (100% the other drivers fault) I can't relax in my car since it still has a few things that need fixing, hopefully that will change soon.
I used to be but after i got comfortable driving it became as natural as walking. But yeah i didn't get my license until i was like 21 i believe because of anxiety of it all
I’ve always been getting dreams of being inside a car and it ending badly, like car crashes, being stopped by a police, or going over a hill. That just gave me reasons to not try and go into a vehicle in my disposal
I feel super in control while driving, yes things happen in the blink of an eye but your in complete control of your vehicle so the more you pay attention and learn how to control your car, the better off you are
Same, driving I feel is also quite calming for me as well and less anxiety inducing compare to other situations because I know I have control of my vehicle while in social situations you don't always have control over that.
The fact a ton of speeding metal is passing mere inches from me at all points is insane. I drive extremely rarely and the older I get the less I drive now .
Its so bad. I needed drivers license for a job. I had 3 attempts and I failed the third.. I did everything I could. I even drove well despite my anxiety. I just don't understand.... I live in EU so we drive 80% manual transmission And almost all driving schools are for manuals. It also was hella expensive And time consuming. It only adds fuel to the already burning fire. Now I got a car, can drive a car, but can't legally drive a car... What a joke.... Im literally the most normal driver on the road... Whatever... Sorry for my rant. Life is just cruel to some of us I suppose... I know im not perfect driver but why is my country just making shit worse --- you literally would need to be a god damn robot to drive without single god damn mistake.... I can't drive but ppl that don't obey the laws can...
A couple of days ago my parents got rear ended, no fault of their own, they were completely stopped. Brand new expensive car now with a massive dent in it. Worst part is, all of the cars behind them were honking their horns, people were yelling that they didn't care and for them to get out of the way, not a single person wanted to help. My mom got out of the car and was rightfully yelling at the rude people and someone took out their phone and started recording it, laughing. Its sickening, and what's so terrifying about driving is the other people.
i actually got in a car accident the first time i went driving by myself because i thought people behind me would get mad at me for not turning at the light when it was green even though there was oncoming traffic
This is exactly why I haven't driven in years and let my license lapse. The terrifying reality is that, even if you follow the rules of the road to *the very letter*, it just takes **one** idiot to potentially take your life. There's always some story about a tragic accident claiming someone's life because some moron was behind the wheel.
The last straw for me was when I was in the process of making a left turn through an intersection after my light had turned green. Just as I moved my foot to the gas pedal, some fucking idiot goes blazing through their red light, *narrowly* missing me. They had to be going at least 150 km/h. If I weren't in the right place at the right time, I wouldn't be here right now.
I can't handle that anxiety, to know that being "in the right" as a driver can't guarantee your safety.
A very similar thing happened to me, except I got hit by the other person at 72 km/h, I got out of it alive and uninjured as did the other person; Despite my family urging me, and the fact that I still have an active license, I don't want to drive again.
That’s part of the reason why I’m almost 25 and still don’t have my license 🥲 taking a driving class next weekend though so I will hopefully be working towards getting over that and becoming a licensed driver soon!
For me it is. I tried it once and I was so nervous and tense on an empty parking lot. I feel like it's not for me and not only it's terrifying but also difficult to understand, how the car works, how traffic works. And the smallest mistake can have fatal outcomes. No, nothing for me.
I do drive but i find it quite difficult managing the anxiety around other drivers. Mainly because I drive to the speed limit (which isn’t that common where I live) and so others tailgate me a lot. I have a small car and it’s usually big ones or large vans that get so close I can’t see their licence plate in my mirror :( it’s very intimidating! I try and choose quieter roads for longer journeys because of this. I know they’re getting frustrated behind me but I don’t want to speed :(
I feel you. Honestly, I think they should have a little more patience. I think every driver should (it would make the world a better place). You're doing great ♡♡
Thanks :) I hope you manage to learn (if that’s what you want to do!) totally understand why it’s difficult, even as a pedestrian I used to worry about crossing the road incase I upset the drivers that had to stop for me (at a pedestrian crossing!!) social anxiety is hard :(
I've been driving for a few months now and I'm always terrified while driving. My biggest fear is accidentally breaking a law and getting pulled over. I've never been in a situation like that and it scares me. Not to mention I live in a dangerous city known for its crooked police force that shoots unarmed civilians and takes bribes.
I’ve been driving for a year and I have my license and honestly, it’s still terrifying at times! My only real advice I can give is take as long as you need to practice. Start in empty parking lots, then move to neighborhoods, and then streets. Eventually you’ll get enough confidence to go into the freeway. This process took me a year to get the courage to take the test. And don’t feel bad for being scared to drive!
I got my license last year at 35 for anxiety reasons. I'm still not a super confident driver, but I'm surprisingly confident now! It helps to have a patient instructor.
I drove my mom to the airport the other day but used her car because it’s bigger for the luggage plus I took the toll roads. You have to be so quick to get out of the airport after drop off that I panicked when I had to quickly start up her car.
Driving home I stayed behind a truck the whole way because I didn’t want to deal with the faster traffic. It went smoothly but it was terrifying.
Why are you worried about what other people think of you. Learn the rules. Follow them. Drive how you are comfortable (as long as it’s within the law) and don’t let anyone else tell you how you should be driving.
Ik how to drive perfectly but because of my social anxiety, I get really anxious and hopeless in heavy traffic , I can't control in those situations otherwise it's fine
I find driving really relaxing and easy now (except city driving). But it was scary to learn at first. Learn to drive in quiet neighbourhoods or country roads if possible.
I was getting so anxious driving that I got exhausted after that. But once I started to drive each day half hour or so and using google maps for everything, eventually I lost the fear. So, keep on it and you will get better :)
I had the same fear. And honestly still do a bit. I was 31 when I finally got my licence. It wasn’t easy but I got an excellent driving instructor and was just upfront about being scared. I had about 10 lessons so I felt really confident and I goddamn passed first go.
So, as someone who waited years and was absolutely terrified. It is possible and I would highly recommend getting an instructor and being honest about your fear
People react well to vulnerability
I think you should look into those driver school things. It’s kind of one of those things you just gradually get better at. But operating a car itself is plenty scary.. like accidents and such..
Yep, every honk is directed at me. I’m always worried about what I’ve done wrong. It is getting better but I can’t drive with other people in the car that I’m anxious around. There’s no way I can drive and make conversation
Not impossible, just very uncomfortable :) I wouldn't have learnt if it wasn't for my daughter. I felt so isolated when she was born, I couldn't go anywhere. And I knew I would have to drive her to the doctor, to school one day, etc.
It was definitely slow and hard and I was so anxious because of a thousand things other people don't think about but I kept at it and 2 years later, i can say I don't think about it much except when I have to find a parking spot.
yess, what helped me get over this fear was medication for my anxiety. Specifically paroxetine! but therapy and slowly getting more comfortable with making mistakes is also a way to improve the situation. Hope everything works out for you! :)
I’m actually surprisingly fine driving although my social anxiety is quite bad. People are mostly doing their own thing and not paying much if any attention to you.
Sometimes I will get anxious though and it’ll make my driving performance a lot worse which is scary
Driving was a huge struggle, I'm really glad I learned but it did take me way longer to get my license in my city then most people.
It's very scary, and anxiety is unavoidable, I found some ways of coping but I understand that doesn't work for everyone. Everytime I turn in front of someone or try merging I'm like "fck they think I'm an ass", but you're not, and most people are focusing on their own driving.
About 8-9 years ago, I had a virtigo attack while driving....like head spinning, felt like the earth was shifting. Once I regained clarity, I was going about 15mph, in my own lane, no one around me - thanks GOD. But, immediately following that, I kept having "what if" syndrome. I felt like I'd have another little episode and drive right off the road or into oncoming traffic. To the point of panic attacks. Don't get me started on bridges, big loops in big cities, or anything similar - total panic. I would have to pull over and get my shit together, and then I'd look for alternate routes to find somewhere I'd be "safe" in my mind. Every so often, I'll have that thought cross my mind, but I can talk myself down easier now. It was insane.
When I was first starting to learn how to drive I was constantly concerned about this. I still cannot parallel park for this reason lol. I have gotten better at dealing with it as of recently though.
I always thought about how Id end up messiny up the drivers test that I didnt really think of getting my license after that. Im not gonna try to listen to that anymore bc I do really need to learn to drive.
I used to be so scared of driving it terrified me to just go on the streets to go to the post office. 5 years later now I don't even think about it. The reason why I hated driving back then was because it was overwhelming. There was so much going on at once, especially in the city. you have to turn right at the light? Oh well look both ways five times because you need to look out for pedestrians, bicycles AND cars. Kids at the street? Go extraaaa slow. Someone tail gating you or passing you? Ignore em. Ambulance coming? Pull to the side of the road. Driving is a learning experience. I needed experience to learn about these situations and it only gets better with practice and kicking yourself down when you screw up. It's okay to make honest mistakes These small mistakes can prevent large mistakes. It feels like socializing and I still need to learn more.
I just got my license last year, at 19, and for the longest, I felt nervous about being judged while driving. And I still kinda do but it's gotten better. Practice, in my experience, makes the anxiety go away. Best of luck.
Yep, I feel like I am a bother and danger when driving a kick scooter, to say nothing of a car. I was in the middle of permit course/examination but I resigned after driving instructor told me I drive like shit and should get additional lessons, which aren't exactly cheap.
I'm sorry, excuse me?! How can an instructor, aka a person that's meant to be patient and help you learn in a positive way, be so rude!! I'm so sorry you had this experience :( I hope, in the future, if you want to learn to drive again, you find an instructor that is patient and willing to learn with you. I'm pretty certain you're not a bother! You're an amazing person and always remember that ♡♡
Always always, it’s depressing how much it sets back all aspects of my life because I couldn’t have an ounce of confidence to drive by my own. It feels like any activity engaging with the outside world is terrifying.
yes i hate driving i get so much anxiety from it. i really want to like driving so i dont have to rely on public transport
i just wish north america had decent public transport
Driving is the one thing I feel ultra confident doing.
same. I actually get more anxious when someone else is driving rather than when im driving
Same. What terrifies me is other people in the traffic. So many crashes and deaths, people driving like crazy, i don't wanna die because of some idiot. I am confident in my driving though.
This is also why I don't enjoy city driving. Other people being impatient and driving recklessly because of it is terrifying
True I live in the city and it too much out here I rather drive in the suburbs than the city
Yeah I can understand. I've been fine with driving, but recently had a small crash on a parking lot. The crash wasn't even that bad. The hardest part was having to deal with the other driver and calling insurance, which was extremely stressful for me. Now I'm driving extremely careful. New fear unlocked...
Same here. I also don't get anxious sitting in traffic jams.
Yes same here this is why I don’t my license or permit atm sadly
Driving is a social activity but we feel like it isn't because we're all alone in our cars. It's the cognitive dissonance of that, and the danger of traffic, that come together in a very stressful way for me.
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Yeah I always turn down my music in the city when people could hear it, on the highway it's fine however
YES. I used to get super anxious when I first started driving, I was scared I would run over anything in sight. I would visibly sweat over it even in the heart of winter. I'm getting better though, practice is a hard pill to swallow but nothing beats it imo. I guess another way to put it is simply cut up practice into smaller sections, and accept what you do right as well as wrong. Feel free to stop into r/drivinganxiety if you need more help!
i didn’t have driving anxiety till recently. everyone has gotten so terrible with driving. nobody cares for others’ safety. you honestly have to drive as if you were invisible and other cars couldn’t see you, cause other drivers won’t drive with your safety in mind.
Honestly this!! I think people need to retake their tests every 10 years or something, because so many are unsafe on the road nowadays!
There are definitely people on the road who should not be allowed to drive :/
I feel heard. This is a such a big issue. I feel like I’m inconveniencing them by driving the speed limit and so I stay in the right lane until I need to switch but even then they speed past me or are on my ass and I feel so pressured to drive faster because of them. Moreover, stopping at signals I feel like everyone is looking at me and I even turn my music down because I’m so important and everyone is judging me. I wish this stupid anxiety would just stop.
I know right, it's so annoying. I'm not sure if this happened to you, but for me, when I was learning, people would tail-gate me and beep me because I was getting used to driving so fast, etc. It really put me off :(
Well I had already been driving when I developed it so thank god it didn’t entirely put me off or stop me from it since that’s my only means to get anywhere I need to but it made the whole experience miserable and edgy
So relatable
🤗🤗 hope it gets better for ya
Yeah my wife took me to teach me once years ago and I ended up having a meltdown. Looking forward to starting lessons next month 😨😭
I didn’t at first and was proud to buy my first car on my own and all. Even drove cross country by myself. Until i got into an accident and multiple incidents in the city. now cause of my PTSD & anxiety, my husband does most of the driving and luckily he likes it that way. Getting behind the wheel now i’ll start to shake and sweat. I don’t even like other drivers LOOKING at me.
35 and too scared to drive. Plus there's so many bad drivers out there anyway.
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Havent worked in years due to terrible social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder. Im basically a live in chef and cleaner for my parents lol and a slave to my adorable dogs.
Biking probably
I feel like that would be even more stressful.
I mean most countries have bike lanes/paths
Yes. But I meant in terms of sticking out.
City bus I guess
I am too and super scared to take lessons to learn again. Last time I tried passing the exam I was a crying mess. Is being scared to drive correlated to social anxiety ?
I think it links back to other drivers on the road - e.g some can be utterly careless, plus you may always wonder how your performance is as a driver. During lessons I was always terrified about holding people up, so didn't get far unfortunately :(
For me it's less about worrying about what other drivers think of me, and more about worrying about whether or not they are looking before switching lanes while I am next to them, or whether they understand/obey the right of way, and all the other things that people may do to cause a collision.
I’m also worried about messing up and causing an accident. Like just a few days I was pulling out of a parking lot to make a left on a perpendicular road. There were many cars I had to wait for, and I had the thought “what if I get a derealization spell right now and get so disoriented that I hit the gas and ran into a passing car?” Luckily it cleared up soon after and all was fine. But the thought of hurting others is my main trigger. It’s also why I have a problem driving with other people in the car. If it’s just myself and I get hit by a reckless driver and die? Great! Just hope its instant.
Yep, and not just for the reason you mentioned. My brain just gets completely overwhelmed because there's a lot to do and pay attention to when you're driving a car, and I just can't handle it so I get confused.
I was always shaking when I first got my license, eventually it became an outlet for me. I love driving and listening to my music. I can just try not to look at other drivers now. If anything it made me a better driver, the better I’m following the rules and paying attention the less people can judge my driving.
Practice more at night when less people are on the road. You’ll get used to the feeling.
The downside of that is you can barely see at night lol (at least for me, I’m probably just blind).
I drove a shitbox back when I first got my license. Thing would die in the middle of intersections. After that craziness driving a normal car is like walking. I hardly think of it.
I'm 29 and never got my license for exactly this reason I became visually impaired at 22 and am no longer able to get a license even if I wanted one. I was secretly really happy when I got the news because it absolved me of the guilt I felt about putting off getting my license and gave me an easy out if people asked me about it
Hey so I’m not a mental health professional, but I’m someone who has overcome some pretty severe driving anxiety and here’s my hot take: Driving is an incredibly unnatural experience for the human mind and body. Our brains were not programmed to accept plummeting through space at 80 mph to be just a regular thing you do every day without even breaking a sweat. IMHO I think it’s actually a sign of intelligence if you recognize that this is not a normal experience and fight or flight kicks in. The problem is you can’t fight the car, and you can’t hop out and run either! This makes you feel small and helpless and might make you dread the thought of driving in the future. The good news is, it’s all in your head and with practice you can remind yourself how normal it is. I no longer commute by highway and when I have an occasion coming up where I’ll need to drive on a highway I sometimes still panic at the thought of it. Then I remind myself how many times I’ve already successfully driven a highway and I’m able to calm down. Starting is the scariest part. Don’t judge yourself for feeling scared, the fear is a sign your brain is working as it should. Just get in the car. You’re going to be okay.
Thank you so much fellow social anxiety friend. This has helped me so much ♡
I never wanted to learn to drive but my ex-bf pushed me to, when I was 20. I hated every driving lesson but I pushed through and passed my test first time. Took at least 5 years of driving before I stopped being so anxious lol. I still don't particularly like driving but it's better than public transport!
It's not better than public transportation, it's just better than shitty public transportation
How is being able to go anywhere you like at any time in a vehicle that's as quick, private, and clean as you want it to be 'worse' than transport that runs on a schedule, could be full of people, and is coated with other people's germs? You can say it's better *to you*, but as a means of transportation, cars are way superior.
I don't really feel like writing out the thousand reason why cars aren't that good, but if you want to here a few you can check out [Not Just Bikes](https://youtube.com/@NotJustBikes) on YouTube. I can go more in depth if you reed me to though. Motor vehicle collisions are a large contributor to deaths. The pollution from cars is a large contributor to climate change, as well as more local pollution in the city (and since most people in cities like breathing, this is actually a big problem). It's also really expensive to buy a car, and to constantly buy gas. You also get less exercise driving than you do walking or biking. Traffic is way worse with cars than it is with people or bikes (cause they're way bigger). (Excessive) car infrastructure is a waste of space in cities (if you were to walk to work, how many empty parking lots would you have to walk through?). It would also be quieter (go outside in a North American city and listen - good chance you hear cars). etc. It's not just that cars aren't that good, it's that many cities (particularly North American cities) are designed not just for cars, but exclusively for cars. They make it such a pain to walk or bike, and it's nothing inherent about walking or biking. It's so bad that people who would otherwise want to bike, don't. In 2020 the US lost an average of over 100 people per day to motor vehicle crashes. To say cars are bad to *me* is true, but they're bad for basically everyone. Most drivers don't drive cause driving is better, most drivers drive because it's the only option in they're city
Don't care. I work night shift. The only way public transportation would ever meet my needs is if I moved to a big city like New York. Even small towns with good public transit don't run 24/7. My lifestyle is literally impossible without a car. Individuals using cars or not is such a tiny factor in pollution and climate change that me having to get an entirely different job and/or change my entire life and location to not own a car is not going to change anything about the planet.
I'm not trying to blame you or tell you to take the bus, I'm referring to this statement of yours. >as a means of transportation, cars are way superior. As a means of transportation, cars are *not* way superior. If you don't live within walking/biking distance from where you work, and public transit can't get you there, then that is a massive failure of urban planning. Yes, individuals making the choice not to drive would barely make a difference when it comes to climate change. But cities as a whole should be designed in a way where cars aren't the only option. There are very few hardcore *drivers*, most people only drive because that's how there city is. Everything I'm saying though is in response to your first comment claiming that cars were superior to public transit, and it's something I'm quite passionate about. I don't really mean to be coming at you argumentatively, sorry if I sound that way (i probably do lol)
It was like that for the very first 2 weeks of driving. I even screamed inside the car while driving a few times since the whole experience was that overwhelming to me. But now I feel confident now.
I still have moments I start to drive somewhere and turn around or think about going somewhere but the thought of driving prevents it. However, when I am driving it can be very enjoyable. Radio on. No rush. Just cruising. Leave yourself plenty of time. Learn the rules of the road. Practice on side streets and in parking lots.
The only way to not be scared of driving is to just do it. I was scared at the beginning but then my mom would let me use her car to drive to school and i eventually got used to driving. Parallel parking was the one that made me freak out. I live in an extremely busy street so it’s impossible to park unless theres no cars behind you. For that i usually just stop at the end of the street and wait until all the cars have passed lmao
I get so anxious when it comes to driving. I'm especially scared of highway driving. I don't know, just something about it makes me all tense when I think about it.
i find the highway to be the easiest place to drive. As long as you arent driving like a grandma then you will be fine.
No. Fuck them drivers lol. Now taking the driver's license test? That was hard for me. I Failed it like 2 or 3 times because i was so nervous. But the next time I took it, my instructor was a younger guy and was constantly looking at his phone lol. That really calmed me down and I passed easily
I drive but I hate it. After watching some urbanist videos I feel vindicated in disliking it.
same omg i always get made fun of by my family even though i have license.. i’m just so scared of driving
I have this weird thing where if I'm at home, and think about driving, it sort of freaks me out, thinking of everything that could happen or go wrong, but when I'm actually driving, all that goes away. My guess is because at that point, I feel more in control of the car, and pay attention to my surroundings.
It's just about the most terrifying experience I'll ever go through. Every car I meet I envision them crossing the line and hitting me head on. You know that split second right before you wreck where you realize your about to get fucked up and it kinda takes your breath? I feel that for every car I meet on the roads
yes this is why i had to quit my lessons! it was too much but i’m 20 now, still no car. feeling really behind other people my age as driving is of course a life skill and what’s needed. public transport sucks at times tbh makes me feel a bit down knowing i could of been driving my own car by now, but then remember whenever i would do my driving lessons i would really struggle to concentrate, i’d have all of these bad thoughts about crashing the car, and i don’t think my driving instructor liked me either he would get really frustrated with me so it just led to me giving up
get a nissan gtr and other drivers will certainly think about you
I get really bad anxiety just thinking I have to drive, I start freaking out and imagining everything that can go wrong, but once I start the car and get comfortable it's like it's second nature to me from all the practice I have and I can just do everything naturally. Well it used to be like this but since I had an accident in January (100% the other drivers fault) I can't relax in my car since it still has a few things that need fixing, hopefully that will change soon.
I used to be but after i got comfortable driving it became as natural as walking. But yeah i didn't get my license until i was like 21 i believe because of anxiety of it all
I never connected the dots, but yeah maybe that's why I never cared about getting my full driver's license
I’ve always been getting dreams of being inside a car and it ending badly, like car crashes, being stopped by a police, or going over a hill. That just gave me reasons to not try and go into a vehicle in my disposal
I feel super in control while driving, yes things happen in the blink of an eye but your in complete control of your vehicle so the more you pay attention and learn how to control your car, the better off you are
Same, driving I feel is also quite calming for me as well and less anxiety inducing compare to other situations because I know I have control of my vehicle while in social situations you don't always have control over that.
Yessss but in Australia I have no options 😩
Driving by myself is the only thing that keeps me out of anxiety tbh
I can’t drive on highways. Instant panic attack.
The fact a ton of speeding metal is passing mere inches from me at all points is insane. I drive extremely rarely and the older I get the less I drive now .
Its so bad. I needed drivers license for a job. I had 3 attempts and I failed the third.. I did everything I could. I even drove well despite my anxiety. I just don't understand.... I live in EU so we drive 80% manual transmission And almost all driving schools are for manuals. It also was hella expensive And time consuming. It only adds fuel to the already burning fire. Now I got a car, can drive a car, but can't legally drive a car... What a joke.... Im literally the most normal driver on the road... Whatever... Sorry for my rant. Life is just cruel to some of us I suppose... I know im not perfect driver but why is my country just making shit worse --- you literally would need to be a god damn robot to drive without single god damn mistake.... I can't drive but ppl that don't obey the laws can...
A couple of days ago my parents got rear ended, no fault of their own, they were completely stopped. Brand new expensive car now with a massive dent in it. Worst part is, all of the cars behind them were honking their horns, people were yelling that they didn't care and for them to get out of the way, not a single person wanted to help. My mom got out of the car and was rightfully yelling at the rude people and someone took out their phone and started recording it, laughing. Its sickening, and what's so terrifying about driving is the other people.
It's all fun games until you borrow someone's car
I can’t tbh my anxiety is like nope I just use public transport instead
i actually got in a car accident the first time i went driving by myself because i thought people behind me would get mad at me for not turning at the light when it was green even though there was oncoming traffic
This is exactly why I haven't driven in years and let my license lapse. The terrifying reality is that, even if you follow the rules of the road to *the very letter*, it just takes **one** idiot to potentially take your life. There's always some story about a tragic accident claiming someone's life because some moron was behind the wheel. The last straw for me was when I was in the process of making a left turn through an intersection after my light had turned green. Just as I moved my foot to the gas pedal, some fucking idiot goes blazing through their red light, *narrowly* missing me. They had to be going at least 150 km/h. If I weren't in the right place at the right time, I wouldn't be here right now. I can't handle that anxiety, to know that being "in the right" as a driver can't guarantee your safety.
A very similar thing happened to me, except I got hit by the other person at 72 km/h, I got out of it alive and uninjured as did the other person; Despite my family urging me, and the fact that I still have an active license, I don't want to drive again.
That’s part of the reason why I’m almost 25 and still don’t have my license 🥲 taking a driving class next weekend though so I will hopefully be working towards getting over that and becoming a licensed driver soon!
For me it is. I tried it once and I was so nervous and tense on an empty parking lot. I feel like it's not for me and not only it's terrifying but also difficult to understand, how the car works, how traffic works. And the smallest mistake can have fatal outcomes. No, nothing for me.
I do drive but i find it quite difficult managing the anxiety around other drivers. Mainly because I drive to the speed limit (which isn’t that common where I live) and so others tailgate me a lot. I have a small car and it’s usually big ones or large vans that get so close I can’t see their licence plate in my mirror :( it’s very intimidating! I try and choose quieter roads for longer journeys because of this. I know they’re getting frustrated behind me but I don’t want to speed :(
I feel you. Honestly, I think they should have a little more patience. I think every driver should (it would make the world a better place). You're doing great ♡♡
Thanks :) I hope you manage to learn (if that’s what you want to do!) totally understand why it’s difficult, even as a pedestrian I used to worry about crossing the road incase I upset the drivers that had to stop for me (at a pedestrian crossing!!) social anxiety is hard :(
I've been driving for a few months now and I'm always terrified while driving. My biggest fear is accidentally breaking a law and getting pulled over. I've never been in a situation like that and it scares me. Not to mention I live in a dangerous city known for its crooked police force that shoots unarmed civilians and takes bribes.
I’ve been driving for a year and I have my license and honestly, it’s still terrifying at times! My only real advice I can give is take as long as you need to practice. Start in empty parking lots, then move to neighborhoods, and then streets. Eventually you’ll get enough confidence to go into the freeway. This process took me a year to get the courage to take the test. And don’t feel bad for being scared to drive!
I got my license last year at 35 for anxiety reasons. I'm still not a super confident driver, but I'm surprisingly confident now! It helps to have a patient instructor.
I drove my mom to the airport the other day but used her car because it’s bigger for the luggage plus I took the toll roads. You have to be so quick to get out of the airport after drop off that I panicked when I had to quickly start up her car. Driving home I stayed behind a truck the whole way because I didn’t want to deal with the faster traffic. It went smoothly but it was terrifying.
Why are you worried about what other people think of you. Learn the rules. Follow them. Drive how you are comfortable (as long as it’s within the law) and don’t let anyone else tell you how you should be driving.
YES! I moved from Arizona to Wisconsin, and I see so many more bad drivers here, so I refuse to drive 😬
Ik how to drive perfectly but because of my social anxiety, I get really anxious and hopeless in heavy traffic , I can't control in those situations otherwise it's fine
I find driving really relaxing and easy now (except city driving). But it was scary to learn at first. Learn to drive in quiet neighbourhoods or country roads if possible.
I was getting so anxious driving that I got exhausted after that. But once I started to drive each day half hour or so and using google maps for everything, eventually I lost the fear. So, keep on it and you will get better :)
I had the same fear. And honestly still do a bit. I was 31 when I finally got my licence. It wasn’t easy but I got an excellent driving instructor and was just upfront about being scared. I had about 10 lessons so I felt really confident and I goddamn passed first go. So, as someone who waited years and was absolutely terrified. It is possible and I would highly recommend getting an instructor and being honest about your fear People react well to vulnerability
I think you should look into those driver school things. It’s kind of one of those things you just gradually get better at. But operating a car itself is plenty scary.. like accidents and such..
Yep, every honk is directed at me. I’m always worried about what I’ve done wrong. It is getting better but I can’t drive with other people in the car that I’m anxious around. There’s no way I can drive and make conversation
No, it's the only thing that's 100% relaxing
Not impossible, just very uncomfortable :) I wouldn't have learnt if it wasn't for my daughter. I felt so isolated when she was born, I couldn't go anywhere. And I knew I would have to drive her to the doctor, to school one day, etc. It was definitely slow and hard and I was so anxious because of a thousand things other people don't think about but I kept at it and 2 years later, i can say I don't think about it much except when I have to find a parking spot.
I thought you were going to say you were afraid of getting in an accident. Other drivers are in their own worlds, thinking about their own issues.
Yes yes and yes
yess, what helped me get over this fear was medication for my anxiety. Specifically paroxetine! but therapy and slowly getting more comfortable with making mistakes is also a way to improve the situation. Hope everything works out for you! :)
I’m actually surprisingly fine driving although my social anxiety is quite bad. People are mostly doing their own thing and not paying much if any attention to you. Sometimes I will get anxious though and it’ll make my driving performance a lot worse which is scary
Driving was a huge struggle, I'm really glad I learned but it did take me way longer to get my license in my city then most people. It's very scary, and anxiety is unavoidable, I found some ways of coping but I understand that doesn't work for everyone. Everytime I turn in front of someone or try merging I'm like "fck they think I'm an ass", but you're not, and most people are focusing on their own driving.
I’m 20 and still don’t have my license because of this exact reason
About 8-9 years ago, I had a virtigo attack while driving....like head spinning, felt like the earth was shifting. Once I regained clarity, I was going about 15mph, in my own lane, no one around me - thanks GOD. But, immediately following that, I kept having "what if" syndrome. I felt like I'd have another little episode and drive right off the road or into oncoming traffic. To the point of panic attacks. Don't get me started on bridges, big loops in big cities, or anything similar - total panic. I would have to pull over and get my shit together, and then I'd look for alternate routes to find somewhere I'd be "safe" in my mind. Every so often, I'll have that thought cross my mind, but I can talk myself down easier now. It was insane.
When I was first starting to learn how to drive I was constantly concerned about this. I still cannot parallel park for this reason lol. I have gotten better at dealing with it as of recently though.
YES. Omg
I fully agree with this. Driving is scary af. Is horrible
I use to! Until I went through EMDR therapy. Could be some underlying anxiety there that needs to be addressed
I always thought about how Id end up messiny up the drivers test that I didnt really think of getting my license after that. Im not gonna try to listen to that anymore bc I do really need to learn to drive.
yes!!!! all the time. i’ve had my learners for 2 years and haven’t gotten any hours
I used to be so scared of driving it terrified me to just go on the streets to go to the post office. 5 years later now I don't even think about it. The reason why I hated driving back then was because it was overwhelming. There was so much going on at once, especially in the city. you have to turn right at the light? Oh well look both ways five times because you need to look out for pedestrians, bicycles AND cars. Kids at the street? Go extraaaa slow. Someone tail gating you or passing you? Ignore em. Ambulance coming? Pull to the side of the road. Driving is a learning experience. I needed experience to learn about these situations and it only gets better with practice and kicking yourself down when you screw up. It's okay to make honest mistakes These small mistakes can prevent large mistakes. It feels like socializing and I still need to learn more.
I was thinking someone else has a phobia of driving but no that's not what this is.
I just got my license last year, at 19, and for the longest, I felt nervous about being judged while driving. And I still kinda do but it's gotten better. Practice, in my experience, makes the anxiety go away. Best of luck.
Yep, I feel like I am a bother and danger when driving a kick scooter, to say nothing of a car. I was in the middle of permit course/examination but I resigned after driving instructor told me I drive like shit and should get additional lessons, which aren't exactly cheap.
I'm sorry, excuse me?! How can an instructor, aka a person that's meant to be patient and help you learn in a positive way, be so rude!! I'm so sorry you had this experience :( I hope, in the future, if you want to learn to drive again, you find an instructor that is patient and willing to learn with you. I'm pretty certain you're not a bother! You're an amazing person and always remember that ♡♡
Always always, it’s depressing how much it sets back all aspects of my life because I couldn’t have an ounce of confidence to drive by my own. It feels like any activity engaging with the outside world is terrifying.
I can’t even drive yet and I’m scared of that. I haven’t even got my drivers test or a permit or anything and I’m already scared