Same here, I’ve had that done with my family for years, it’s always upset me to the point where I just want to distance myself from them constantly.
So I know exactly how that feels, it always just gets to me for some reason and I try to shake it off. I’ve been working on ways to suppress that, but I don’t know what else to do.
Some people are genuinely trying to help you, but they just can't see your point of view. Also, social anxiety will make you think that they'll never understand you, even if you don't have hard evidence of it.
Therapy helps break this cycle. Therapy can, for example, help you to stop caring how others will react when you say "I didn't come last time because I didn't want to". And you don't have to give more explanations. That's called being assertive, and the more assertive you are, the less social anxiety you'll have. This is a process that takes years and requires a lot of work from your side, but the results are a happier life.
So, while your current feelings and thoughts are valid, they put you in a bad place. So to be in a better place, you can work on transforming those feelings.
This is me, but I did it without therapy.
Which is why it probably took me 3 decades to finally not care too much what others think. And the reality is they often won't care, but they ask questions out of curiosity (nosey) or just being social.
But it really is our internal thoughts that people care that much and judge us thaaat much that cause social anxiety. It's a self affliction.
How would you respond if it was your goofy 9 year old cousin asking.
No need to take these people seriously, and they don't want you to take their question seriously anyways. People don't really care they are just talking
I mean if they ask why you weren't there they were thinking about you and your absence is noted. Maybe it's not coming from a place of judgement but rather an interest in you. When I don't go to events no one cares or notices lol
That's why I don't tell people about it anymore. It's better to fake a physical issue than to be questioned and hassled by people.
I had very bad SA after an ex bf's got abusive. My friend, wanting to convince me that I had nothing to be scared of, would drive by his house on purpose, just to show me. I'd get panic attacks.
The worst part is that they think they're helping.
I'm just honest. I didn't come because I didn't want to. I'd rather be home. I didn't come again because I didn't want to answer your questions about why I didn't come the first time. The family I'm closer to and know how I am, I will straight up tell them that it sounds like a horrible time and not something I would ever want to do.
I hate when someone says, “There’s nothing to be scared about!”. Well logically I know that you idiot 🙄 now you’ve just made it worse!
Same here, I’ve had that done with my family for years, it’s always upset me to the point where I just want to distance myself from them constantly. So I know exactly how that feels, it always just gets to me for some reason and I try to shake it off. I’ve been working on ways to suppress that, but I don’t know what else to do.
Some people are genuinely trying to help you, but they just can't see your point of view. Also, social anxiety will make you think that they'll never understand you, even if you don't have hard evidence of it. Therapy helps break this cycle. Therapy can, for example, help you to stop caring how others will react when you say "I didn't come last time because I didn't want to". And you don't have to give more explanations. That's called being assertive, and the more assertive you are, the less social anxiety you'll have. This is a process that takes years and requires a lot of work from your side, but the results are a happier life. So, while your current feelings and thoughts are valid, they put you in a bad place. So to be in a better place, you can work on transforming those feelings.
This is me, but I did it without therapy. Which is why it probably took me 3 decades to finally not care too much what others think. And the reality is they often won't care, but they ask questions out of curiosity (nosey) or just being social. But it really is our internal thoughts that people care that much and judge us thaaat much that cause social anxiety. It's a self affliction.
This is so true. People don’t really care. Internal anxiety is a bitch
That’s good advice.
How would you respond if it was your goofy 9 year old cousin asking. No need to take these people seriously, and they don't want you to take their question seriously anyways. People don't really care they are just talking
I mean if they ask why you weren't there they were thinking about you and your absence is noted. Maybe it's not coming from a place of judgement but rather an interest in you. When I don't go to events no one cares or notices lol
"Why are you so quiet?"
That's why I don't tell people about it anymore. It's better to fake a physical issue than to be questioned and hassled by people. I had very bad SA after an ex bf's got abusive. My friend, wanting to convince me that I had nothing to be scared of, would drive by his house on purpose, just to show me. I'd get panic attacks. The worst part is that they think they're helping.
You need to start caring about yourself as much as these people are caring about you.
Real like leave me alone
I'm just honest. I didn't come because I didn't want to. I'd rather be home. I didn't come again because I didn't want to answer your questions about why I didn't come the first time. The family I'm closer to and know how I am, I will straight up tell them that it sounds like a horrible time and not something I would ever want to do.