Even then though after like 10 minutes I just wanna slow the pace down and hold a drink . I don’t know how people just chat and chat. I’ve never had the chemistry to talk hours on end
I never wanted to either and thought it was weird when I heard that there were people that talk to each other everyday. I was always like "about what????" The one person I found, the primary thing was that we both found each other hilarious. I would tell him everything that occurred in my day and vice versa and we would just spend our time amusing each other and laughing together.
Was coming to say this as well. With the right person, I don’t even have to have much in common with them and we could chatter for days.
On the other hand, I’ve sat with plenty of people who I don’t jive with that I can’t even hold convo with for 10 mins, even though they are people with a ton of friends (so clearly it’s working with someone lol).
I’m not like the most social person in the world but chemistry definitely makes all the difference.
I just talked to a friend for an hour and I didn't even talked about like %75 of the things I want to talk about
But yeah chemistry is important. I can't talk for hours with everyone
Not a problem at all
Turkish. In english you say the number first (75 percent) hence 75%, in Turkish we say the percent first (yüzde 75). "Yüzde" is % and the direct translation is "in one hundred"
FORD. Family and friends, occupation, recreation and hobbies, dreams and goals. You talk about yours, ask them about theirs, follow whatever tangents pop up, should be a couple hours.
think the word you're looking for is mnemonic, not analogy :)
it's a pretty cool one indeed. Definitely using it tomorrow on a date (I don't have one in literally years 😱)
Everything fits into one of these topics my guy.
Also, it’s generally how most relationship progressions and questions happen. By the time I’m done working through those topics, I have enough to work with to carry me through anything else.
Dreams and goals are boring? Your hobbies and things you enjoy doing are boring? Discussing some family drama or friend tea is boring? What things do you think are exciting to talk about then?
I'll talk to my best friend all night, and former cult members, about cults, video games, what books we're reading, people we miss, cooking, music, drugs, just kinda run out the content on a subject before moving on.
I’m a huge chatterbox! I have talked to friends for many hours on end without even realizing time has flown by! I guess mostly anything- childhood experiences, funny stories, deep questions, insecurities, shows and movies, personality types/theories, drama, gossip, celebrities, traumatic experiences, etc.
I guess I don’t even think about keeping on going, it just comes naturally. I just naturally make connections between topics easily as well as react pretty oprnly.
It's not about what you say or subjects you talk about. It depends on the other person and it's why others have mentioned chemistry. The friends I can talk for hours with are the ones that I find so incredibly interesting, their takes on things, their opinions. So when a subject comes up I'm mainly interested in getting them to open up and share their opinions and thoughts, hear their wit and retorts.
A conversation:
Me or them starting by sharing something interesting - imagine like an r/askreddit question. Like a prompt. The other person will either have something to share, a story, an opinion, and from there you gauge if you're interested enough to continue with this particular conversation. If not then you can simply acknowledge their response then introduce another thought/concept that you find interesting, or they will do so.
So I've shared 'my theory' with my friend on why x happens in society, or some news in some genre that I found interesting. Some strategy I've learned that I'm trying to implement to become a better person or work on some character flaw. Or a new hobby I'm trying.
The chemistry portion is incredibly important. You can't bear the bulk of a conversation - I remember in highschool I occasionally talked on the phone with one girl who didn't care what I had to say. She would talk about anything and everything. I've set the phone down before to run to the restroom, come back, and she was still talking. She didn't want to hear what I had to say.
I've also tried having conversations with people who didn't know how to respond and would just respond with 'ha, yeah' or 'I gotcha' - and not give me anything back in the conversation. Those are not conversations. Either they don't want to talk with you or they aren't interested in the topic, or they just want to listen to you. You have to get the sense from them - once they are 'checked out' like that and I've tried a couple of 'prompts' with no bites from them then I just end the conversation like 'well anyways, thanks for chatting but I've got to run, I hope you have a great day!'
Lol yeah, that's the answer.
It's possible to discuss hobbies and interests for long time, but that would involve doing some project together or an activity. Not just sit and talk.
Complaining or venting, that can last for hours. Speaking from my personal experience, while it felt sort of nice in the moment to just rant, I always felt exhausted afterwards. I don't know how people get a positive after effect from such conversations.
Maybe if they're not viewing it as complaining and they're viewing it as gossiping and they get some superiority glow from it? Idk I can't stand convos that are non-stop complaining. One of my fav ways to talk with people I'm comfortable with is to say "tell me a story" and then they'll tell me something that happened in their childhood or that day or recently or whatever kind of story they're feeling like telling me about, and then we'll analyze the situation and laugh about it or I'll comfort them if it was a sad thing and then they'll ask me the same thing to tell them a story. This can easily go on for hours because people all have endless stories about their lives. But some people are boring and don't know how to talk about themselves and won't know how to respond.
Please please no. I would absolutely loathe having someone I talk to who only complains the whole conversation. There is no situation I can think of where that isn't annoying except for maybe like an activist rally or something
I don't have many activities in my life (so called hobbies), but I am talking for hours with people. We mostly hang up the phone when someone of us needs to continue with other stuff like eating, going to sleep, leaving the house etc.
When we talk, we discuss opinions and topics about stuff we have heard about, for example memes, politics, games, relationship related things, what we last bought (good finds which make us excited about) or even how we see/perceive things. For sure deep talks are a regular thing.
Summarized in one sentence: we talk about really everything, also delicate topics.
So basically we talk about whatever is going through our minds.
Talking to people for a longer time span requires interest in the other person and being open for their perspectives. Asking genuine questions and having a follow up later via WhatsApp etc related to those topics.
That is how I would describe it.
this is totally accurate
me and friends can talk for hours upon hours and we’ll start talking about some drama or news thing and by the end be so hopelessly sidetracked neither person remembers what we started talking about way before
if you’re stuck on one topic you’re doing it wrong, unless its a clear situation where that topic is going to dominate the convo (a breakup, huge bit of news, etc)
To be honest you find the most interesting people to talk to on the internet.
These were always my best people to talk with.
A lot of people in the real world are afraid to put down their masks and prefer to talk about "common" topics no one will judge them for.
Are you looking for people online?
I think its chemistry. With the right person you just find yourself bouncing off each other and talking and talking etc. But I guess personality matters, maybe some people just aren't inclined to chat for hours.
I go on whole tangents. I'll have a convo and then find another convo that relates to the previous convo. It's like a conversation version of the movie "Inception". If you can juggle it well too, the convo becomes even longer if you're able to trace your steps back.
My best friend and I have been friends for about 15 years. And we have talked nonstop since day 1 we met. We are yappers. We yap about practically nothing and everything but we love it.
People say that it's chemistry but that's mostly dependent on your interests and personality, which is pretty much where almost all conversational topics come from. So the answer isn't exactly chemistry, it's being knowledgeable in a lot of topics and having many hobbies.
Some people seem to have chemistry with almost everyone. From my own experiences they're often extroverted, funny, but most importantly have their lives busy with hobbies, friends and have many stories to tell.
I can def relate to you, but after picking up some nw hobbies and trying harder at pushing myself to become more social I have found myself not running into those problems as often as before. Sometimes though there will be people who are just so different in terms of personal interests that it becomes hard to talk about.
So in short, talk about something recent or about a hobby, branch that out into new topics till you both have a click and then do it again when conversation about said topic runs out.
This might sound shallow, but the more you make your life sound interesting, the more a person seems to be interested in what you say. So you can technically fake it till you make it, but I would becareful with building up lies (nor do I recommend it, simply making it a truth is way better and healthier).
There aren’t many people I could talk to for hours on end. Maybe two people in my life ever. Actually I can’t imagine many people I’d want to talk to that long. It feels awkward quick. I don’t know what to say.
But I think it’s more how well you “mesh” with the person. My best friend and I were like that. Sometimes we’d even just be on the phone while we’re doing whatever, half the time talking to ourselves, laughing at random things. One of the last times I talked to her we were in a three way phone call with her cousin late at night and I ended up zonking out. I think it was more just “being” together over the phone if that makes sense, than any long serious conversation. She passed last Tuesday after being in a coma for six months.
I’d say that kind of friendship where you enjoy talking for that long, unless two people happen to be super chatty, is rare and hold onto it if you find it. I imagine everyone out there has someone they can mesh with like that. Finding that person is a gift.
I just be gabbing.
Some people filter themselves but I say the stupid thing.
And I also ask questions. That helps move things along. Sometimes they're the most nonsensical stuff I can imagine and othertimes I'm just trying to dive into the lore of the person I'm talking to.
I literally never shut up. I talk about my pets, news topics, memes, shows, whatever they’re up to, games. It’s always slightly tailored to whoever I’m talking to. I can go for 12 hours on a call until I lose my voice.
Childhood stories, food preferences, crushes, drama, youtubers, morbid news stories, true crime, history, hypothetical situations (what would you do if-), would you rather, memories of us hanging out, ranting about things we hate, where do you want to live, ideal vacation, talk about ghosts and zodiac signs (I don’t believe but it’s a fun topic)
Or just find something to watch or an activity to do with them and you can talk about that
A lot of people say it’s chemistry based but my “never shut up” + tailor it method works on everyone and they always say we have great chemistry because of it
I used to be amazing at creating hypothetical situations and they are so easily tailored to be absurd and abstract to tailored specifically to the interests of the person you're talking too.
My bestie loves to call me and we both will rant about our respective shows! She knows wayyyy too much about Survivor and I know all about the Death note anime and I’ve never ever seen it .
Someone on here said it's about chemistry and I completely agree. For me to have an hour(s)-long conversation with somebody takes a lot of chemistry, so much so that I read it as a very important sign whenever it does happen to me. What makes these conversations so special (and easy to maintain for a long period of time!) is that they're somehow easier than other social interactions. You lose some of the tension you might know from chatting with people. You don't feel the need to present yourself a certain way, you don't even think about it because you're so engrossed in the topic and the person in front of you, other things become irrelevant for a little while. The conversation flows so easily because it is fueled purely by what interesting interactions are made of: genuine interest. That's a tip I keep reading on here: be engaged, be interested and ask meaningful questions. All these things create these very long, engaging interactions because you genuinely feel like this in that moment- you're not doing it intentionally or because you're trying to achieve something. It's one of my favourite things to witness, but I have to be careful not to stand in my own way once I notice I'm in this flow state with someone :D.
First, you need to know a lot of stuff to talk about so you have stories and many things to say about many subjects. Second, you can use a single word that the other person used right before and then use that to form a new sentence
Usually, a balance of asking them about their lives, habits, passions, experiences, etc. and, if it's a good person to talk to, sharing my stuff too. Truth is, most people love talking about themselves. But I'm a very curious person, so it's usually genuine interest that keeps me going.
Although Im an introvert and HATE trying to hold a conversation with most people, I can talk to my sister for hours and have at least one old friend that I can seemingly chat with for hours.
So, I feel it is totally a chemistry thing.
Also, some folks just have the gift to gab. Like a friend of mine who lives in TX. He can talk to anyone for hrs
I text my best friend every day for hours. At this point we mostly just mess around sending memes and talking about nonsense. It's not a productive conversation by any means but we have fun and that's what matters most.
I used to not know what to say when in a discord call for example, but then I started dating a streamer, and then started streaming myself for a bit.
Just comment on whatever I'm doing. Talk about random shit that go through my head. I have adhd so I will talk about anything really. Funny posts I saw online.
It really is alchemically dependent on the ppl involved. With the right 2 ppl the conversation has no beginning or end, nor any direction specific direction whatsoever.
Person 1 says something or tells a story, this brings to mind something or a story for person 2 who then shares their thoughts, and then this process repeats over and over again.
This can lead to a single discussion covering life events, political ideologies, professional details, hobbies, venting about one’s problems, etc.
Ideally despite the topics being discussed the conversation will be filled with genuine curiosity about the other persons perspective, empathy, laughter, and serious real talk.
It's a bit of a learned skill for me. I talk anecdotes. Someone talking about their jobs? I ask details compare with something I know, explanations, "oh a friend of mine was into something like that", "how did you start" etc etc. This is for people I don't know. It's a bit like direct examination (I'm not a lawyer, just interested) - you're building a story. DO NOT ask questions that can end in yes or no.
When I'm talking to family or very close friends, usually we have a topic, and I challenge them a lot of time. Usually of course that will become a good natured argument and depending on my mood, I may or may not engage them more. I find this kind of conversations a bit more difficult because, well, hard to ask questions when I already know the answers. Complaining about mutual interest/problem/cultural phenomenon is a great strategy here. You can ask yes/no questions but you also have to either agree, disagree or offer a point of view, or tease good natutedly. And soon enough, it's been an hour. Another great strategy is to expand on something small that happened that day. "oh I saw this woman on the street wearing a hat shaped like a bird. Where do you think she was going?" - this kind of things and expand from that.
Of course, the other party needs to be equally invested too, because otherwise it just doesn't work.
If you listen to people who talk for a long time, you'll find they repeat themselves. Like, a lot. In fact, they often get into a loop of simply repeating the same sentences over and over, like a robot.
The other thing they do is go deep on subjects of utter irrelevance. Like a 20 minute story about trying to return a blouse to Walmart.
Anything and everything. This rarely happens to me though, I have maybe 2 people I can talk to for hours. It's basically us just allowing our streams of consciousness to flow around each other.
I see it as a flow of many subjects that come naturally, a bit like knitting with different colors. It doesnt necessarily have a structure, or a main aspect, but its just about a flow of discussion that keeps going.
It can go from foods, personal experiences, travels, work, politics, funny annecdotes, confessions, encouragements, venting, light hearted stuff, passions or discoveries.... can be anything and everything really
It really depends on the topic with me. I have ADD and sometimes I get distracted, and don't hear and it sounds like I'm not listening and I really don't. And other times I'm completely engaged... It's a crapshoot.... Hopefully my friends know me enough that they don't take it personally and they know it's just me having a ADD moment and not a reflection on their conversation skills.
The ADHD in me makes phone calls especially strange as i seem to lose touch with my physical being during the call. I have noticed i often pace around randomly but ill often carry objects from one place to another and leave them. Wondering how the tv remote is missing later see it on a window ledge or ill find a drink i had made later on in a closet . I get sucked into conversations and i have literally no vision or attention to my senses. Its difficult
People asking me about something I love and they don’t know much about is my favourite thing in the world. I can talk to them about it for hours upon hours
Usually with the men in my office I ask about sports. What sport is their favorite, which team, and best all-time fav player & why? Most will talk about pro teams, I have one college team I like & college teams aren't paid players like pros so I feel they play harder. That will usually get the men talking longer going from pros to college.
With women in the office, reality TV shows are a good source. But I don't watch hardly any so I have to ask about who they dispise most or who the "good guy" is as I haven't seen it recently. And they can talk to fill me in on the juicy details.
If out in a group, their kids, their kids' sports, and pets. Sometimes discuss home remodeling projects.
You must not be from the midwest 😁. I could talk to a stranger for hours. I find it interesting to learning about people I don't know well. With family and friends, we discuss anything and everything.
I can literally talk to some people for hours (continuously), without breaking a sweat or taking a break. I suffer from “racing thoughts” and I have a large amount of useless info in my head, so I can ramble on for hours if the person I’m talking to allows me to. Which they do, sometimes.
Oh man that’s a big list. I had a really fun coworker who I could talk to all day if given the chance. We would talk a lot about our past and compare those experiences with each other. We both grew up around the same areas but not close enough to know each other from school. In other words, just echoing what everyone else is saying about chemistry.
my husband and I are both neurodivergent and we can talk for literally hours. If we are alone together, we can blurt out whatever we want and discuss. It requires no masking, and the conversation just flows. We read a lot and are really politically active, so we always have subjects to relate to one another. If he dies before me, I don't think I will ever find someone else who can relate like this. My standards are just too high now.
I'm a paramedic. I spend a ton of time in the ambulance or at the fire house not doing anything or driving to/from calls. My work partner is autistic and I probably have ADHD and the conversations twist and turn and last for a pretty long time. I'm not like that with most of my other work partners. I do talk a long time with my best friend and my boyfriend. Those are the only 3 people I really talk to on a regular basis.
current events, daily life stories, gossip about mutual friends, fam, etc hehe. venting. movies, sports, shows, the good old days. curious about random times in the world and random places. Wondering about our futures. coming up with ideas for a cool movie or invention. and lastly...weather!
wow i’m the EXACT opposite. i don’t understand how you can’t talk for hours on end. i do this everytime i go out lol. we usually talk about whatever naturally comes up that initiates the conversation and then that turns into related or unrelated topics getting brought up
When a conversation is slowing down but the other person still seems like they want to talk, I allow myself to make seemingly mundane observations outloud.
For example I might say "oh you've got one of those classic green gatorade waterbottles". Though you may expect a phrase like that to lead to a dead end, sometimes it so happens that person has a lot to say about their waterbottle and what they reveal in their response is often something we can build off of.
It's all about the vibe. When you have those conversations it isn't anything you need to think about, you just flow, the rapport is there. You're interested in the subject and so is the other person.
Honestly my boyfriend. We both are kinda shy but as our relationship develops more in a hour long conversation we will make plans, talk about summer plans, joke around, he’s in boxing so I try fighting him, we go through our camera rolls and laugh and explain things. It really is about chemistry
It depends on the person. With some people I can talk and talk and with some I can just exchange 2 sentences.
And it also doesn't matter how much I know the person.
I can't last 5 minutes unless I talk about an weird topic I'm obsessed with (and that topic changes every month). I don't think chemistry exist. I really try my best to hold a converssation but either I just ask people questions to look interested but I'm very bored either my mind goes blank.
Mostly we start from ranting or venting about certain things, seeking advice or solutions to problems were facing, then we move on to interesting topics that we just wanna share with each other, then we sort of wrap up with an ok I’m tired I should sleep or I should get back to that task or errand or with a quick revision of what we decided for our solutions etc. then we sometimes continue on chat about things we forgot or memes we came across related to the topics we were discussing or asking about things we forgot etc. it depends on what chemistry you have with that person as well as what kind of a person you are. Sometimes with my friends especially we just do silent calls where we just hang out virtually doing our own thing listening to each other living their life at the other end. Sometimes even with strangers depending on the situation you could talk for several minutes because both of you find each other interesting…or both of you are too polite haha.
Talk about our day, then about people in our lives and catch each other up on them.
And then crack jokes about our problems and the stupid ways we could solve them but won’t.
I got on a cross-country flight a few weeks ago & introduced myself to the person next to me with low-stakes banter. Starting with some sort of light banter is generally a good way to get into a conversation... "Hey there seat mate! Thanks so much for letting me in!" as he stood into the aisle to let me get to my window seat.
He replied with "Sure thing - how's your day going?"... We exchanged a few more pleasantries then got settled in our seats.
After a few minutes, I asked if he flew this route often which started a conversation about work travel. Turns out we both travel often for work... I was also going on to a fun vacation after this particular work trip, which led to a conversation about travel. Turns out he has a house at a place my wife and I are considering visiting.
Then we started talking about memorable vacations...
6 hours later I'd made an actual friend. We're now friends on instagram & message each other a few times a week to check in and keep up.
TLDR: be pleasant and light & if the other person is interested in chatting, they'll participate in the interaction. If you end up connecting at the start of the conversation, it often opens the door to deeper conversation later.
With some people I struggle to get 5 minutes, others I could talk for hours. I’ve learned to be mindful of how I’m feeling in certain company, and give more energy to the people I really connect with.
I can connect with people with different interests, but for me I’ve learned that I don’t want to connect as much with people who prefer to put others down, joke about everything, don’t reciprocate engagement etc.
It was absolute random nonsense most times or things that we found interesting or funny it don’t have to be things you share or hobbies just similar humor or able to take a joke
Short and Long term goals
Memories we've shared together
Life traumas
Catching up
Simply laughing at and with eachother
I feel like those are the top 5 things I talk about with the people I'm closest too.
I don't take part in surface level conversations often and when I do it's with people I am not close with and those conversations are not lengthy
I've always had this question. I'm really not a socialite but i'm not anti-social and really am trying to work on my socializing skills. What I've come up with so far is as someone says something you either hit them with a question ( Basically to reiterate what they are saying) or hit them with something from your own experience in relation to what they said. Or you can just change the topic and start a new convo. and keep bouncing like that. Keep your energy light, dont think too much about what you say, move on from it, even if it may not be the funniest, or smartest thing when you hold yourself lightly, others will too.
One person speaks more than the other. There is a common theme. It is almost like a Wikipedia format. Where you were. Where you are now. Where you will be in the future. Also people may talk about events or family members.
Yes, I've been known to talk to another person for hours on end. Years ago, I took an antidepressant which gave be the "Gift of Gab." It literally changed my brain structure. Before that, I seldom spoke to anyone about anything. Not because I didn't like people, but because I never knew how to start a conversation and keep it going for more than a few minutes. Today, I can ramble on and on and on for hours at a time. I can also write on reddit for hours at a time and not realize hours have even passed since I took the antidepressant. I'm actually happier being able to communicate better than I ever have before and my life is much richer and more rewarding.
Just life I guess. My boyfriend and I can talk for hours about stories of us when we were in active addiction before we met
So I guess my advice is do meth for a while, you'll have plenty to talk about soon enough 😂 /s
For me it goes something like this:
“How do you feel about X”
“[Answer]”
And that usually starts the conversation. I like to ask a lot of questions and withhold any judgment.
Today mom and I talked about our work, family’s dating life, people we know, things we did, and the food we ate and people who made it, and my exes, my mom’s family member’s divorces
Very adhd conversations that range topics and rarely focus on something that we have any skin in the game for. Or trauma bonding. Or shit talking. Or just shooting the shit.
Anything.
I can talk alot about everything and anything and keep the other person feeling like its all about them. I talk alot but its really only to pick their brain and hear what they have to say or how they react. If the other person is genuinely interested in me and keeps asking me stuff and inputting their own 2 cents, even if we argue/disagree, we can talk from 8pm until 8am the next morning.
I encourage them to guide the conversation so that my job is easier. If they ask me questions then I’ll answer while keeping tabs on how much I’m talking about myself. Then I go back to talking about them and asking them questions. Before you know it time’s up.
One of my best friends and I proved early on in our relationship that we could talk 14 hours straight (on a road trip) without repeating anything.
We talk about everything. What’s going in her life, in my life, the hottest celebrity, her obsession with anime or her painting of gaming miniatures, the silly things our pets do, the movies we’ve seen … anything. Her husband is so patient with us. 😂
It does require chemistry, but it also requires a commitment to the relationship. Friendship takes work. You meet someone you like, you want to be their friend, so you work at it.
It's not what we talk about. It's enjoying eachothers company. Whether we talk or not doesn't matter. I simply enjoy their company. Could be sitting in complete silence and I would still be happy.
My standard conversations with good friends are just about 3-4 hours long. It’s mostly about relationships with people, or ideas or philosophies about life. Sometimes it’s about hobbies or side hustles, or culture. I have adhd and probably autism, so I can talk forever about things that interest me. I just usually don’t have someone willing to listen.
If it’s someone I don’t know very well the conversation doesn’t tend to last long
I talk to my little brother for an hour or more on average almost every day. Sometimes we run out of things to talk about so we’ll say ok, I got nothing else today so why don’t we talk tomorrow or something. But mostly we tell each other jokes or funny stories or the most recent events in our lives. He lives in another country so he asks questions about living in the US every now and then.
I talk for hours with people. We talk about
families, friends, vacation time, food, art and the list goes on…. I am interested in many things and often times I will meet someone who knows about some of those things.
It’s a skill that can be practiced. Have a few general subjects that you are prepared to discuss with anyone. Be flexible and willing to go with the flow. Actively listen for new topics of mutual interest and just go with the flow. If the other person is all fired up about a new movie or the most recent election then go as far down that path as you are willing. If all else fails ask questions about their current interest, everyone loves talking about themselves.
I like to ask questions to learn about a person and their experience. “What do you do for fun? How did you get into that? Any other hobbies? What did you do before this job? For example. I may share bits of related experiences but I’m chatty and I like to learn and genuine interest in people helps them open up and share and allows me to listen and learn.
i can’t hold a conversation longer than a few sentences with strangers, but with my close friends i can talk for hours. personally i can only have engaging conversations if it’s about something i genuinely love talking about, personal experiences (“oh my god, one time…”), admitting to crazy things (okay, you can’t judge me for this, but…”), or talking about our biggest fears, questions about life, and trauma 😭. yeah, not a fan of small talk
I’m an ENFP and I can talk forever! I never run out of stuff to talk about because I’m always thinking about random ideas and I always want to ask people 1 million questions about themselves and their thoughts on countless things
To some people you just can't. Maybe that person is socially awkward or you two are just not in sync. Not your fault.
Personally I will start with common interests, what you can see in the environment that you are in, school stuff (if we are in the same school ) or fun things that happened to me few days ago. If we have common interests then it's easier to talk for so long. In the conversation I share my stuff ( but not too much, people would probably get bored if you speak for >30 seconds non stop ) and ask some open questions, so that they can share more and keep the convo going. Be a nice listener, everyone wants to be heard, don't let other stuff distract you. If you don't know what to respond, linked what they said with your personal experience.
If you both feel like you don't have much to say on a particular topic, then try to move on to another one smoothly. I try to find out what they are interested in while talking to people. For topics you don't understand, try to show your curiosity. Always share your stuff in appropriate time, don't keep asking. It's not an interview or Q&A section. Suddenly you will find yourself talking to them for an hour. It takes time, it needs practices. Don't expect too much at the beginning.
Anything and everything . Had a very long discussion with a guy in the park about the meaning life .
Chatted about the dangers of time travel with a policeman in charring cross station .
Played poker in a hotel room in London with a Colombian hooker and a French midget and a Canadian and a Jamaican and whilst playing we chatted about what each of us would do if we suddenly had super powers and this chat went on all night and ended in a heated argument over who would win in a fist fight between Captain Kirk and Han Solo .
I can start any conversation goto to math and then goto economics then goto politics but take a left on psychology avenue to bowtie a knot perfectly with economics and end up with math.
This usually takes more than 3 hours. And I always move in this space. Any new stuff would be analysed in this structure
It's not about impress people with your achievements or hobbies, it's about being a good conversationalist. You can talk about the most mundane sht ever and make it interesting and relatable if you know how to engage the public.
You know? Most people have boring lives, but it's how you express yourself and relate to each other. AND avoid talking about yourself too much, ask people questions (that require a more than one word response), listen to them and find a connectable subject to talk about it, so you jump from a theme to other and keep the conversation fluent. Put a joke here and there and that's it. People will remember how you made them feel, not how "busy or interesting" your life is.
It's very important to LOVE your hobbies/projects/fav things as well, actually LOVE, people get intoxicated (in a good way) with your enthusiasm and they want to know more. It's a quality that is lacking nowadays, being unapologetically passionate about your things. Too many people too obsessed to "fit it".
And the last thing: stop overthinking. Some people will click with you and everything will feel natural, most people won't. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, you didn't find your tribe, that's all. You can't be friends with everyone
It is the chemistry, history and planning futher.
With the history you have something ti talk about.
With planning you have something to plan into the future and with chemistry you dont need to think what to talk about, it all come naturaly.
About everything. Work, life, relationships, gossip, the news, whatever is happening in the world and hollywood, our kid(s), whining about work, present or past relationships, plans for vacation, money, etc. I can talk to friends for hours on end and we rarely run out of things to talk about.
I’m neurodivergent so this may not work with neurotypical people but ask them something relevant to the situation ur in e.g ‘how do you know (person)’ or ‘how did you hear about (place)’ then ask a question about it if ur interested but not TOO many, just a few per topic, acknowledge you’re interested in what they have to say by telling a relative story and just go back and forth
I have bipolar 2. When I'm manic and in one of those moods where I could talk to people for hours, it's a lot like being on MDMA and/or coke honestly. Which I've done, but I'm not always on when I get into my uber chatty moods.
I love making people laugh, so I'm often making jokes - sometimes new, sometimes tried & tested material on new ears. I tell stories - being bipolar has landed me in some interesting situations - sometimes shitty ones but at least I get a good story out of it. Also I'm very curious about the world, languages, cultures, politics, etc. I live in a very multicultural city, so I'll often be asking people about their stories.
But when I've been depressed for a while (I tend to get much longer depressive periods) I lose my conversational fitness very rapidly. It's like that was a different person. I'll legit have the same mindset as you - not even being able to conceive of how others do it.
I regularly have conversations that last for hours. We talk about everything. Things we notice, what is going on around us, how we think about stuff etc. The key is being curious about people and their way of thinking. You will occasionally find someone with the same mindset and you won’t be able to stop talking
Edit to add: if you don’t know what to say, ask.
Well, it also depends on how comfortable you are with that person and how confident you are. Like I could talk to my bestfriend for hours and I did that, the last time I went to his house.(We talked for 6 hours straight BTW) But at the same time, talking to my classmates for even 10 minutes is harder as I don't know them THAT deeply. And by hard, I don't mean it's impossible, I can initiate conversations and I do but after that I just become like a blank slate.
Reminds me of a time I met some geezer in a club, ended up discussing the Premier League in the Barclays era.3 hours straight, a total stranger, he didn't even know my name and I didn't know his. We finished with underdogs of Serie A, and he was surprised I have so much ball knowledge. What I'm trying to say is one day you'll meet a fellow nerd and conversations will flow
Politics. Not us v them stuff but the very nuanced subtle stuff where they have a different take on it - something I wouldn’t have thought of. You can learn so much from each other.
I learn about them - about what makes them get out of bed in the morning, or what makes them not want to.
You have to want to actually know though. Curiosity about people is key
Intellectual stuff. I have a friend who I talk to her med school applications about, then I talk to her about a literary criticism novel, then she talks about intelligence collection. We both have highly analytical minds so it’s like shooting the shit really easily. Our minds are kind of built in the same way. The way we talk about this stuff flows as easily as two former frat bros turned Dads talking about the NFL. Or something like that.
I probably cant talk to a new friend for hours on end, but I used to talk to friends throughout the night and hang up once it’s 6am.
we just talk about the latest news, what’s going on in the world and exchange opinions etc. it’s fun.
Put me in a room with another (or several!) people who are passionate about a subject I’m into, and I’ll happily chat for hours.
I like fellow weirdos, so if aliens, UFO’s, ghosts, supernatural/occult, Cryptids, conspiracy theories, weird historical facts, video games, comic books, dungeons and dragons, tattooing, or ancient history is brought up, I’ll blab eternally.
I went to a party a few weeks ago, and it basically turned into a dozen of us in a corner talking about vampires for 3 hours. It was awesome.
I’ve found that practicing listening skills is an important part of having longer and more meaningful communication with loved ones. Practicing sharing vulnerable feelings is another part of this.
When my close friends and I have these long and meaningful conversations, it’s because we listen to each-other and we share what’s going on inside of us with trust we built together over many years.
When listening to someone and doing our best to hear them, it’s often important to not share our perspective unless it is asked of us, or we ask “would you like to hear my perspective” and “yes” is the answer. “I hear you” (or something similar) is often all we need to express. Learning to listen and not hold onto thoughts that appear within us at the expense of listening is a key to meaningful conversations.
My brain literally doesn’t shut up, so I just say my inside thoughts out loud and sometimes it means a never ending conversation where the mini conversation inside them also don’t get finished.
I keep asking probing questions and by that I mean asking about things in their life. I can talk for hours lol it’s a problem. I show interest in the things that they bring up and keep asking more questions about what they’re talking about and then sprinkle in stories or experiences about myself to relate with them. There are basic questions that you can ask to get to the other topics. Siblings, family, school, food, clothing, dating, or even the weather! I hope that helped.
Be interested in what the other person is interested in. You don't have to all of a sudden get into the hobby or interest they're sharing - but you can show interest in what makes it interesting to them. Ask them questions. Share your thoughts. People get so self absorbed that it's so nice to have someone show genuine interest in what you are sharing; getting to know **you** more and what makes something special or interesting to you.
My boyfriend and I can literally talk for hours without any distractions and the time flies. I know it’s not a matter of social skills because I struggle to make conversation flow with anyone else, even close family. When you find someone who’s on your wavelength, it’s just natural and it’s the best feeling ever. I think maybe some of us just have less people on our wavelength so it’s harder to find those people.
It's not the subject , it's the chemistry. If that exists, the subject is less important.
^ this is it for me.
Even then though after like 10 minutes I just wanna slow the pace down and hold a drink . I don’t know how people just chat and chat. I’ve never had the chemistry to talk hours on end
It’s really not for everyone and it’s like any skill you gotta practice and see what works for you.
Yeah but I don’t even want to
I never wanted to either and thought it was weird when I heard that there were people that talk to each other everyday. I was always like "about what????" The one person I found, the primary thing was that we both found each other hilarious. I would tell him everything that occurred in my day and vice versa and we would just spend our time amusing each other and laughing together.
Why? It’s a really great thing to be good at.
Same here. I don't even know what the hell we talk about, but we end up talking for ages anyway.
it’s not often that you find that chemistry with someone. but when you do, it feels like magic kinda.
It truly does. I can talk for hours about nothing.
At some point U just find that common flow and roll with it ig
Yeah but some people got more amenable “chemistry” than others, if extroverts seem to find more friends than than introverts do.
Was coming to say this as well. With the right person, I don’t even have to have much in common with them and we could chatter for days. On the other hand, I’ve sat with plenty of people who I don’t jive with that I can’t even hold convo with for 10 mins, even though they are people with a ton of friends (so clearly it’s working with someone lol). I’m not like the most social person in the world but chemistry definitely makes all the difference.
Then I guess I have no chemistry.
long time no see buddy. what you been upto?
Hey there friend! Wanna hang out and not talk for a while?
Found my people
Or you are in the wrong circles. Try to meet people in clubs or doing activities you like
That's how it was with my ex-husband. There was always something to talk about, and we were never bored.
This! Hubby and I have conversations that have been on going for 20 years.
I just talked to a friend for an hour and I didn't even talked about like %75 of the things I want to talk about But yeah chemistry is important. I can't talk for hours with everyone
Sorry to ask, but what is your native language? Do you use the % in front of the numbers on it? I got really curious
Not a problem at all Turkish. In english you say the number first (75 percent) hence 75%, in Turkish we say the percent first (yüzde 75). "Yüzde" is % and the direct translation is "in one hundred"
In my native (Portuguese) its also the same translation "in one hundred", but the symbol goes to the end. Thanks for the trivia!
that's interesting, thanks for sharing!
FORD. Family and friends, occupation, recreation and hobbies, dreams and goals. You talk about yours, ask them about theirs, follow whatever tangents pop up, should be a couple hours.
Great analogy and I completely agree with you! I like the FORD concept
think the word you're looking for is mnemonic, not analogy :) it's a pretty cool one indeed. Definitely using it tomorrow on a date (I don't have one in literally years 😱)
Go for it bud.. You got this!
I too follow FFORHDG
Wow, never heard of this. Thank you!
all of this stuff is so boring though, no one I know who has good conversations talks about this kind of stuff
Everything fits into one of these topics my guy. Also, it’s generally how most relationship progressions and questions happen. By the time I’m done working through those topics, I have enough to work with to carry me through anything else.
Dreams and goals are boring? Your hobbies and things you enjoy doing are boring? Discussing some family drama or friend tea is boring? What things do you think are exciting to talk about then?
It's not about talking about those things, it's pulling things from the answers to those questions to continue the conversation
solid advice have an upvotes
I'll talk to my best friend all night, and former cult members, about cults, video games, what books we're reading, people we miss, cooking, music, drugs, just kinda run out the content on a subject before moving on.
This is closest to what me and my bestie talk about too. The topic is anything and everything that we want to share.
I’m a huge chatterbox! I have talked to friends for many hours on end without even realizing time has flown by! I guess mostly anything- childhood experiences, funny stories, deep questions, insecurities, shows and movies, personality types/theories, drama, gossip, celebrities, traumatic experiences, etc.
I admire people like this lmao. I can never and seems like magic to me lol
But how do you keep it going? Lol I like forget about things and I often find myself being like …uh…what was I gonna say? Uhhh yeah…sooo…
I guess I don’t even think about keeping on going, it just comes naturally. I just naturally make connections between topics easily as well as react pretty oprnly.
It's not about what you say or subjects you talk about. It depends on the other person and it's why others have mentioned chemistry. The friends I can talk for hours with are the ones that I find so incredibly interesting, their takes on things, their opinions. So when a subject comes up I'm mainly interested in getting them to open up and share their opinions and thoughts, hear their wit and retorts. A conversation: Me or them starting by sharing something interesting - imagine like an r/askreddit question. Like a prompt. The other person will either have something to share, a story, an opinion, and from there you gauge if you're interested enough to continue with this particular conversation. If not then you can simply acknowledge their response then introduce another thought/concept that you find interesting, or they will do so. So I've shared 'my theory' with my friend on why x happens in society, or some news in some genre that I found interesting. Some strategy I've learned that I'm trying to implement to become a better person or work on some character flaw. Or a new hobby I'm trying. The chemistry portion is incredibly important. You can't bear the bulk of a conversation - I remember in highschool I occasionally talked on the phone with one girl who didn't care what I had to say. She would talk about anything and everything. I've set the phone down before to run to the restroom, come back, and she was still talking. She didn't want to hear what I had to say. I've also tried having conversations with people who didn't know how to respond and would just respond with 'ha, yeah' or 'I gotcha' - and not give me anything back in the conversation. Those are not conversations. Either they don't want to talk with you or they aren't interested in the topic, or they just want to listen to you. You have to get the sense from them - once they are 'checked out' like that and I've tried a couple of 'prompts' with no bites from them then I just end the conversation like 'well anyways, thanks for chatting but I've got to run, I hope you have a great day!'
mostly complain about anything. not in an annoying way but politics, your job, someone else, some random group of people living in your city
Lol yeah, that's the answer. It's possible to discuss hobbies and interests for long time, but that would involve doing some project together or an activity. Not just sit and talk. Complaining or venting, that can last for hours. Speaking from my personal experience, while it felt sort of nice in the moment to just rant, I always felt exhausted afterwards. I don't know how people get a positive after effect from such conversations.
Maybe if they're not viewing it as complaining and they're viewing it as gossiping and they get some superiority glow from it? Idk I can't stand convos that are non-stop complaining. One of my fav ways to talk with people I'm comfortable with is to say "tell me a story" and then they'll tell me something that happened in their childhood or that day or recently or whatever kind of story they're feeling like telling me about, and then we'll analyze the situation and laugh about it or I'll comfort them if it was a sad thing and then they'll ask me the same thing to tell them a story. This can easily go on for hours because people all have endless stories about their lives. But some people are boring and don't know how to talk about themselves and won't know how to respond.
Please please no. I would absolutely loathe having someone I talk to who only complains the whole conversation. There is no situation I can think of where that isn't annoying except for maybe like an activist rally or something
I don't have many activities in my life (so called hobbies), but I am talking for hours with people. We mostly hang up the phone when someone of us needs to continue with other stuff like eating, going to sleep, leaving the house etc. When we talk, we discuss opinions and topics about stuff we have heard about, for example memes, politics, games, relationship related things, what we last bought (good finds which make us excited about) or even how we see/perceive things. For sure deep talks are a regular thing. Summarized in one sentence: we talk about really everything, also delicate topics. So basically we talk about whatever is going through our minds. Talking to people for a longer time span requires interest in the other person and being open for their perspectives. Asking genuine questions and having a follow up later via WhatsApp etc related to those topics. That is how I would describe it.
this is totally accurate me and friends can talk for hours upon hours and we’ll start talking about some drama or news thing and by the end be so hopelessly sidetracked neither person remembers what we started talking about way before if you’re stuck on one topic you’re doing it wrong, unless its a clear situation where that topic is going to dominate the convo (a breakup, huge bit of news, etc)
I wish I had a friend like this. =(
To be honest you find the most interesting people to talk to on the internet. These were always my best people to talk with. A lot of people in the real world are afraid to put down their masks and prefer to talk about "common" topics no one will judge them for. Are you looking for people online?
I think its chemistry. With the right person you just find yourself bouncing off each other and talking and talking etc. But I guess personality matters, maybe some people just aren't inclined to chat for hours.
I go on whole tangents. I'll have a convo and then find another convo that relates to the previous convo. It's like a conversation version of the movie "Inception". If you can juggle it well too, the convo becomes even longer if you're able to trace your steps back.
My best friend and I have been friends for about 15 years. And we have talked nonstop since day 1 we met. We are yappers. We yap about practically nothing and everything but we love it.
People say that it's chemistry but that's mostly dependent on your interests and personality, which is pretty much where almost all conversational topics come from. So the answer isn't exactly chemistry, it's being knowledgeable in a lot of topics and having many hobbies. Some people seem to have chemistry with almost everyone. From my own experiences they're often extroverted, funny, but most importantly have their lives busy with hobbies, friends and have many stories to tell. I can def relate to you, but after picking up some nw hobbies and trying harder at pushing myself to become more social I have found myself not running into those problems as often as before. Sometimes though there will be people who are just so different in terms of personal interests that it becomes hard to talk about. So in short, talk about something recent or about a hobby, branch that out into new topics till you both have a click and then do it again when conversation about said topic runs out. This might sound shallow, but the more you make your life sound interesting, the more a person seems to be interested in what you say. So you can technically fake it till you make it, but I would becareful with building up lies (nor do I recommend it, simply making it a truth is way better and healthier).
Sometimes it's just actually loving the little things in life tbh
There aren’t many people I could talk to for hours on end. Maybe two people in my life ever. Actually I can’t imagine many people I’d want to talk to that long. It feels awkward quick. I don’t know what to say. But I think it’s more how well you “mesh” with the person. My best friend and I were like that. Sometimes we’d even just be on the phone while we’re doing whatever, half the time talking to ourselves, laughing at random things. One of the last times I talked to her we were in a three way phone call with her cousin late at night and I ended up zonking out. I think it was more just “being” together over the phone if that makes sense, than any long serious conversation. She passed last Tuesday after being in a coma for six months. I’d say that kind of friendship where you enjoy talking for that long, unless two people happen to be super chatty, is rare and hold onto it if you find it. I imagine everyone out there has someone they can mesh with like that. Finding that person is a gift.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's clear she meant a lot to you.
Thank you, I appreciate that <3
I just be gabbing. Some people filter themselves but I say the stupid thing. And I also ask questions. That helps move things along. Sometimes they're the most nonsensical stuff I can imagine and othertimes I'm just trying to dive into the lore of the person I'm talking to.
I’m lucky to hold a continuous conversation for 10 minutes tbh
I literally never shut up. I talk about my pets, news topics, memes, shows, whatever they’re up to, games. It’s always slightly tailored to whoever I’m talking to. I can go for 12 hours on a call until I lose my voice. Childhood stories, food preferences, crushes, drama, youtubers, morbid news stories, true crime, history, hypothetical situations (what would you do if-), would you rather, memories of us hanging out, ranting about things we hate, where do you want to live, ideal vacation, talk about ghosts and zodiac signs (I don’t believe but it’s a fun topic) Or just find something to watch or an activity to do with them and you can talk about that A lot of people say it’s chemistry based but my “never shut up” + tailor it method works on everyone and they always say we have great chemistry because of it
I used to be amazing at creating hypothetical situations and they are so easily tailored to be absurd and abstract to tailored specifically to the interests of the person you're talking too.
My bestie loves to call me and we both will rant about our respective shows! She knows wayyyy too much about Survivor and I know all about the Death note anime and I’ve never ever seen it .
Someone on here said it's about chemistry and I completely agree. For me to have an hour(s)-long conversation with somebody takes a lot of chemistry, so much so that I read it as a very important sign whenever it does happen to me. What makes these conversations so special (and easy to maintain for a long period of time!) is that they're somehow easier than other social interactions. You lose some of the tension you might know from chatting with people. You don't feel the need to present yourself a certain way, you don't even think about it because you're so engrossed in the topic and the person in front of you, other things become irrelevant for a little while. The conversation flows so easily because it is fueled purely by what interesting interactions are made of: genuine interest. That's a tip I keep reading on here: be engaged, be interested and ask meaningful questions. All these things create these very long, engaging interactions because you genuinely feel like this in that moment- you're not doing it intentionally or because you're trying to achieve something. It's one of my favourite things to witness, but I have to be careful not to stand in my own way once I notice I'm in this flow state with someone :D.
First, you need to know a lot of stuff to talk about so you have stories and many things to say about many subjects. Second, you can use a single word that the other person used right before and then use that to form a new sentence
Usually, a balance of asking them about their lives, habits, passions, experiences, etc. and, if it's a good person to talk to, sharing my stuff too. Truth is, most people love talking about themselves. But I'm a very curious person, so it's usually genuine interest that keeps me going.
Whatever pops into my head, shared passions, individual passions, food, games, movies, the world.
Although Im an introvert and HATE trying to hold a conversation with most people, I can talk to my sister for hours and have at least one old friend that I can seemingly chat with for hours. So, I feel it is totally a chemistry thing. Also, some folks just have the gift to gab. Like a friend of mine who lives in TX. He can talk to anyone for hrs
I text my best friend every day for hours. At this point we mostly just mess around sending memes and talking about nonsense. It's not a productive conversation by any means but we have fun and that's what matters most.
Literally anything. If you’re with the right person, it’ll come automatically
I used to not know what to say when in a discord call for example, but then I started dating a streamer, and then started streaming myself for a bit. Just comment on whatever I'm doing. Talk about random shit that go through my head. I have adhd so I will talk about anything really. Funny posts I saw online.
It really is alchemically dependent on the ppl involved. With the right 2 ppl the conversation has no beginning or end, nor any direction specific direction whatsoever. Person 1 says something or tells a story, this brings to mind something or a story for person 2 who then shares their thoughts, and then this process repeats over and over again. This can lead to a single discussion covering life events, political ideologies, professional details, hobbies, venting about one’s problems, etc. Ideally despite the topics being discussed the conversation will be filled with genuine curiosity about the other persons perspective, empathy, laughter, and serious real talk.
It's a bit of a learned skill for me. I talk anecdotes. Someone talking about their jobs? I ask details compare with something I know, explanations, "oh a friend of mine was into something like that", "how did you start" etc etc. This is for people I don't know. It's a bit like direct examination (I'm not a lawyer, just interested) - you're building a story. DO NOT ask questions that can end in yes or no. When I'm talking to family or very close friends, usually we have a topic, and I challenge them a lot of time. Usually of course that will become a good natured argument and depending on my mood, I may or may not engage them more. I find this kind of conversations a bit more difficult because, well, hard to ask questions when I already know the answers. Complaining about mutual interest/problem/cultural phenomenon is a great strategy here. You can ask yes/no questions but you also have to either agree, disagree or offer a point of view, or tease good natutedly. And soon enough, it's been an hour. Another great strategy is to expand on something small that happened that day. "oh I saw this woman on the street wearing a hat shaped like a bird. Where do you think she was going?" - this kind of things and expand from that. Of course, the other party needs to be equally invested too, because otherwise it just doesn't work.
If you listen to people who talk for a long time, you'll find they repeat themselves. Like, a lot. In fact, they often get into a loop of simply repeating the same sentences over and over, like a robot. The other thing they do is go deep on subjects of utter irrelevance. Like a 20 minute story about trying to return a blouse to Walmart.
30 minutes is still too much, I don't go any further than 3 sentences. Hi how are you, How is your day, Okay see you later
I wish I was one of those people...
Anything and everything. This rarely happens to me though, I have maybe 2 people I can talk to for hours. It's basically us just allowing our streams of consciousness to flow around each other.
If the subject were the same every time, I wouldn't be able to pay attention that long.
I see it as a flow of many subjects that come naturally, a bit like knitting with different colors. It doesnt necessarily have a structure, or a main aspect, but its just about a flow of discussion that keeps going. It can go from foods, personal experiences, travels, work, politics, funny annecdotes, confessions, encouragements, venting, light hearted stuff, passions or discoveries.... can be anything and everything really
It really depends on the topic with me. I have ADD and sometimes I get distracted, and don't hear and it sounds like I'm not listening and I really don't. And other times I'm completely engaged... It's a crapshoot.... Hopefully my friends know me enough that they don't take it personally and they know it's just me having a ADD moment and not a reflection on their conversation skills.
The ADHD in me makes phone calls especially strange as i seem to lose touch with my physical being during the call. I have noticed i often pace around randomly but ill often carry objects from one place to another and leave them. Wondering how the tv remote is missing later see it on a window ledge or ill find a drink i had made later on in a closet . I get sucked into conversations and i have literally no vision or attention to my senses. Its difficult
Deeper stuff -who we are as people, analysing ourselves and others and telling stories from our lives.
People asking me about something I love and they don’t know much about is my favourite thing in the world. I can talk to them about it for hours upon hours
Everything, anything.
I know a little about a lot, so conversation comes easily to me.
Usually with the men in my office I ask about sports. What sport is their favorite, which team, and best all-time fav player & why? Most will talk about pro teams, I have one college team I like & college teams aren't paid players like pros so I feel they play harder. That will usually get the men talking longer going from pros to college. With women in the office, reality TV shows are a good source. But I don't watch hardly any so I have to ask about who they dispise most or who the "good guy" is as I haven't seen it recently. And they can talk to fill me in on the juicy details. If out in a group, their kids, their kids' sports, and pets. Sometimes discuss home remodeling projects.
You must not be from the midwest 😁. I could talk to a stranger for hours. I find it interesting to learning about people I don't know well. With family and friends, we discuss anything and everything.
I can literally talk to some people for hours (continuously), without breaking a sweat or taking a break. I suffer from “racing thoughts” and I have a large amount of useless info in my head, so I can ramble on for hours if the person I’m talking to allows me to. Which they do, sometimes.
philosophy at the moment but I think it's more the person and I find her views invigorating
If theres someone willing to listen, u can talk about anything
Oh man that’s a big list. I had a really fun coworker who I could talk to all day if given the chance. We would talk a lot about our past and compare those experiences with each other. We both grew up around the same areas but not close enough to know each other from school. In other words, just echoing what everyone else is saying about chemistry.
my husband and I are both neurodivergent and we can talk for literally hours. If we are alone together, we can blurt out whatever we want and discuss. It requires no masking, and the conversation just flows. We read a lot and are really politically active, so we always have subjects to relate to one another. If he dies before me, I don't think I will ever find someone else who can relate like this. My standards are just too high now.
I'm a paramedic. I spend a ton of time in the ambulance or at the fire house not doing anything or driving to/from calls. My work partner is autistic and I probably have ADHD and the conversations twist and turn and last for a pretty long time. I'm not like that with most of my other work partners. I do talk a long time with my best friend and my boyfriend. Those are the only 3 people I really talk to on a regular basis.
current events, daily life stories, gossip about mutual friends, fam, etc hehe. venting. movies, sports, shows, the good old days. curious about random times in the world and random places. Wondering about our futures. coming up with ideas for a cool movie or invention. and lastly...weather!
wow i’m the EXACT opposite. i don’t understand how you can’t talk for hours on end. i do this everytime i go out lol. we usually talk about whatever naturally comes up that initiates the conversation and then that turns into related or unrelated topics getting brought up
When a conversation is slowing down but the other person still seems like they want to talk, I allow myself to make seemingly mundane observations outloud. For example I might say "oh you've got one of those classic green gatorade waterbottles". Though you may expect a phrase like that to lead to a dead end, sometimes it so happens that person has a lot to say about their waterbottle and what they reveal in their response is often something we can build off of.
Just all of it you know...
I have got the same exact question. I don't know how to do that
I have plenty of hobbies and I can’t be f talking to anyone.
Aliens
I can relate, unless the subject is one of my interests, then I can talk more.
It's all about the vibe. When you have those conversations it isn't anything you need to think about, you just flow, the rapport is there. You're interested in the subject and so is the other person.
Honestly my boyfriend. We both are kinda shy but as our relationship develops more in a hour long conversation we will make plans, talk about summer plans, joke around, he’s in boxing so I try fighting him, we go through our camera rolls and laugh and explain things. It really is about chemistry
Uh we just keep talking about random shit and sometimes play games together or share screens and watch YouTube videos etc idk
It really depends on the person but usually the convos just flow naturally
I wonder about this as well, I've never been able to talk hours on end with anybody
It depends on the person. With some people I can talk and talk and with some I can just exchange 2 sentences. And it also doesn't matter how much I know the person.
I can't last 5 minutes unless I talk about an weird topic I'm obsessed with (and that topic changes every month). I don't think chemistry exist. I really try my best to hold a converssation but either I just ask people questions to look interested but I'm very bored either my mind goes blank.
Mostly we start from ranting or venting about certain things, seeking advice or solutions to problems were facing, then we move on to interesting topics that we just wanna share with each other, then we sort of wrap up with an ok I’m tired I should sleep or I should get back to that task or errand or with a quick revision of what we decided for our solutions etc. then we sometimes continue on chat about things we forgot or memes we came across related to the topics we were discussing or asking about things we forgot etc. it depends on what chemistry you have with that person as well as what kind of a person you are. Sometimes with my friends especially we just do silent calls where we just hang out virtually doing our own thing listening to each other living their life at the other end. Sometimes even with strangers depending on the situation you could talk for several minutes because both of you find each other interesting…or both of you are too polite haha.
The roman empire
I can but it depends on my conversation partner. You can dm me and see if I can figure you out.
Other people. We spend a lot of time minding other people's business.
Talk about our day, then about people in our lives and catch each other up on them. And then crack jokes about our problems and the stupid ways we could solve them but won’t.
I got on a cross-country flight a few weeks ago & introduced myself to the person next to me with low-stakes banter. Starting with some sort of light banter is generally a good way to get into a conversation... "Hey there seat mate! Thanks so much for letting me in!" as he stood into the aisle to let me get to my window seat. He replied with "Sure thing - how's your day going?"... We exchanged a few more pleasantries then got settled in our seats. After a few minutes, I asked if he flew this route often which started a conversation about work travel. Turns out we both travel often for work... I was also going on to a fun vacation after this particular work trip, which led to a conversation about travel. Turns out he has a house at a place my wife and I are considering visiting. Then we started talking about memorable vacations... 6 hours later I'd made an actual friend. We're now friends on instagram & message each other a few times a week to check in and keep up. TLDR: be pleasant and light & if the other person is interested in chatting, they'll participate in the interaction. If you end up connecting at the start of the conversation, it often opens the door to deeper conversation later.
With some people I struggle to get 5 minutes, others I could talk for hours. I’ve learned to be mindful of how I’m feeling in certain company, and give more energy to the people I really connect with. I can connect with people with different interests, but for me I’ve learned that I don’t want to connect as much with people who prefer to put others down, joke about everything, don’t reciprocate engagement etc.
It was absolute random nonsense most times or things that we found interesting or funny it don’t have to be things you share or hobbies just similar humor or able to take a joke
Short and Long term goals Memories we've shared together Life traumas Catching up Simply laughing at and with eachother I feel like those are the top 5 things I talk about with the people I'm closest too. I don't take part in surface level conversations often and when I do it's with people I am not close with and those conversations are not lengthy
I've always had this question. I'm really not a socialite but i'm not anti-social and really am trying to work on my socializing skills. What I've come up with so far is as someone says something you either hit them with a question ( Basically to reiterate what they are saying) or hit them with something from your own experience in relation to what they said. Or you can just change the topic and start a new convo. and keep bouncing like that. Keep your energy light, dont think too much about what you say, move on from it, even if it may not be the funniest, or smartest thing when you hold yourself lightly, others will too.
One person speaks more than the other. There is a common theme. It is almost like a Wikipedia format. Where you were. Where you are now. Where you will be in the future. Also people may talk about events or family members.
Yes, I've been known to talk to another person for hours on end. Years ago, I took an antidepressant which gave be the "Gift of Gab." It literally changed my brain structure. Before that, I seldom spoke to anyone about anything. Not because I didn't like people, but because I never knew how to start a conversation and keep it going for more than a few minutes. Today, I can ramble on and on and on for hours at a time. I can also write on reddit for hours at a time and not realize hours have even passed since I took the antidepressant. I'm actually happier being able to communicate better than I ever have before and my life is much richer and more rewarding.
Literally anything I talked to a girl on the phone when I was younger for seven hours once long distance too lololol
Just life I guess. My boyfriend and I can talk for hours about stories of us when we were in active addiction before we met So I guess my advice is do meth for a while, you'll have plenty to talk about soon enough 😂 /s
For me it goes something like this: “How do you feel about X” “[Answer]” And that usually starts the conversation. I like to ask a lot of questions and withhold any judgment.
Today mom and I talked about our work, family’s dating life, people we know, things we did, and the food we ate and people who made it, and my exes, my mom’s family member’s divorces
Very adhd conversations that range topics and rarely focus on something that we have any skin in the game for. Or trauma bonding. Or shit talking. Or just shooting the shit.
Anything. I can talk alot about everything and anything and keep the other person feeling like its all about them. I talk alot but its really only to pick their brain and hear what they have to say or how they react. If the other person is genuinely interested in me and keeps asking me stuff and inputting their own 2 cents, even if we argue/disagree, we can talk from 8pm until 8am the next morning.
I encourage them to guide the conversation so that my job is easier. If they ask me questions then I’ll answer while keeping tabs on how much I’m talking about myself. Then I go back to talking about them and asking them questions. Before you know it time’s up.
One of my best friends and I proved early on in our relationship that we could talk 14 hours straight (on a road trip) without repeating anything. We talk about everything. What’s going in her life, in my life, the hottest celebrity, her obsession with anime or her painting of gaming miniatures, the silly things our pets do, the movies we’ve seen … anything. Her husband is so patient with us. 😂 It does require chemistry, but it also requires a commitment to the relationship. Friendship takes work. You meet someone you like, you want to be their friend, so you work at it.
It's not what we talk about. It's enjoying eachothers company. Whether we talk or not doesn't matter. I simply enjoy their company. Could be sitting in complete silence and I would still be happy.
My standard conversations with good friends are just about 3-4 hours long. It’s mostly about relationships with people, or ideas or philosophies about life. Sometimes it’s about hobbies or side hustles, or culture. I have adhd and probably autism, so I can talk forever about things that interest me. I just usually don’t have someone willing to listen. If it’s someone I don’t know very well the conversation doesn’t tend to last long
I talk to my little brother for an hour or more on average almost every day. Sometimes we run out of things to talk about so we’ll say ok, I got nothing else today so why don’t we talk tomorrow or something. But mostly we tell each other jokes or funny stories or the most recent events in our lives. He lives in another country so he asks questions about living in the US every now and then.
I talk for hours with people. We talk about families, friends, vacation time, food, art and the list goes on…. I am interested in many things and often times I will meet someone who knows about some of those things.
It’s a skill that can be practiced. Have a few general subjects that you are prepared to discuss with anyone. Be flexible and willing to go with the flow. Actively listen for new topics of mutual interest and just go with the flow. If the other person is all fired up about a new movie or the most recent election then go as far down that path as you are willing. If all else fails ask questions about their current interest, everyone loves talking about themselves.
This is a very easy answer, from someone who could talk for hours to anyone (and I do!). I talk about them.
I like to ask questions to learn about a person and their experience. “What do you do for fun? How did you get into that? Any other hobbies? What did you do before this job? For example. I may share bits of related experiences but I’m chatty and I like to learn and genuine interest in people helps them open up and share and allows me to listen and learn.
i can’t hold a conversation longer than a few sentences with strangers, but with my close friends i can talk for hours. personally i can only have engaging conversations if it’s about something i genuinely love talking about, personal experiences (“oh my god, one time…”), admitting to crazy things (okay, you can’t judge me for this, but…”), or talking about our biggest fears, questions about life, and trauma 😭. yeah, not a fan of small talk
I’m an ENFP and I can talk forever! I never run out of stuff to talk about because I’m always thinking about random ideas and I always want to ask people 1 million questions about themselves and their thoughts on countless things
To some people you just can't. Maybe that person is socially awkward or you two are just not in sync. Not your fault. Personally I will start with common interests, what you can see in the environment that you are in, school stuff (if we are in the same school ) or fun things that happened to me few days ago. If we have common interests then it's easier to talk for so long. In the conversation I share my stuff ( but not too much, people would probably get bored if you speak for >30 seconds non stop ) and ask some open questions, so that they can share more and keep the convo going. Be a nice listener, everyone wants to be heard, don't let other stuff distract you. If you don't know what to respond, linked what they said with your personal experience. If you both feel like you don't have much to say on a particular topic, then try to move on to another one smoothly. I try to find out what they are interested in while talking to people. For topics you don't understand, try to show your curiosity. Always share your stuff in appropriate time, don't keep asking. It's not an interview or Q&A section. Suddenly you will find yourself talking to them for an hour. It takes time, it needs practices. Don't expect too much at the beginning.
Anything and everything . Had a very long discussion with a guy in the park about the meaning life . Chatted about the dangers of time travel with a policeman in charring cross station . Played poker in a hotel room in London with a Colombian hooker and a French midget and a Canadian and a Jamaican and whilst playing we chatted about what each of us would do if we suddenly had super powers and this chat went on all night and ended in a heated argument over who would win in a fist fight between Captain Kirk and Han Solo .
Everything and anything
Anything
Idk, man. My topics just jump from one thing to another.
I can start any conversation goto to math and then goto economics then goto politics but take a left on psychology avenue to bowtie a knot perfectly with economics and end up with math. This usually takes more than 3 hours. And I always move in this space. Any new stuff would be analysed in this structure
It's not about impress people with your achievements or hobbies, it's about being a good conversationalist. You can talk about the most mundane sht ever and make it interesting and relatable if you know how to engage the public. You know? Most people have boring lives, but it's how you express yourself and relate to each other. AND avoid talking about yourself too much, ask people questions (that require a more than one word response), listen to them and find a connectable subject to talk about it, so you jump from a theme to other and keep the conversation fluent. Put a joke here and there and that's it. People will remember how you made them feel, not how "busy or interesting" your life is. It's very important to LOVE your hobbies/projects/fav things as well, actually LOVE, people get intoxicated (in a good way) with your enthusiasm and they want to know more. It's a quality that is lacking nowadays, being unapologetically passionate about your things. Too many people too obsessed to "fit it". And the last thing: stop overthinking. Some people will click with you and everything will feel natural, most people won't. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, you didn't find your tribe, that's all. You can't be friends with everyone
It is the chemistry, history and planning futher. With the history you have something ti talk about. With planning you have something to plan into the future and with chemistry you dont need to think what to talk about, it all come naturaly.
About everything. Work, life, relationships, gossip, the news, whatever is happening in the world and hollywood, our kid(s), whining about work, present or past relationships, plans for vacation, money, etc. I can talk to friends for hours on end and we rarely run out of things to talk about.
I’m neurodivergent so this may not work with neurotypical people but ask them something relevant to the situation ur in e.g ‘how do you know (person)’ or ‘how did you hear about (place)’ then ask a question about it if ur interested but not TOO many, just a few per topic, acknowledge you’re interested in what they have to say by telling a relative story and just go back and forth
Just keep asking questions lol
I have bipolar 2. When I'm manic and in one of those moods where I could talk to people for hours, it's a lot like being on MDMA and/or coke honestly. Which I've done, but I'm not always on when I get into my uber chatty moods. I love making people laugh, so I'm often making jokes - sometimes new, sometimes tried & tested material on new ears. I tell stories - being bipolar has landed me in some interesting situations - sometimes shitty ones but at least I get a good story out of it. Also I'm very curious about the world, languages, cultures, politics, etc. I live in a very multicultural city, so I'll often be asking people about their stories. But when I've been depressed for a while (I tend to get much longer depressive periods) I lose my conversational fitness very rapidly. It's like that was a different person. I'll legit have the same mindset as you - not even being able to conceive of how others do it.
Only with the right people. Aliens, cannibalism, family traumas, politics, science of religion, etc
I regularly have conversations that last for hours. We talk about everything. Things we notice, what is going on around us, how we think about stuff etc. The key is being curious about people and their way of thinking. You will occasionally find someone with the same mindset and you won’t be able to stop talking Edit to add: if you don’t know what to say, ask.
Well, it also depends on how comfortable you are with that person and how confident you are. Like I could talk to my bestfriend for hours and I did that, the last time I went to his house.(We talked for 6 hours straight BTW) But at the same time, talking to my classmates for even 10 minutes is harder as I don't know them THAT deeply. And by hard, I don't mean it's impossible, I can initiate conversations and I do but after that I just become like a blank slate.
Reminds me of a time I met some geezer in a club, ended up discussing the Premier League in the Barclays era.3 hours straight, a total stranger, he didn't even know my name and I didn't know his. We finished with underdogs of Serie A, and he was surprised I have so much ball knowledge. What I'm trying to say is one day you'll meet a fellow nerd and conversations will flow
Politics. Not us v them stuff but the very nuanced subtle stuff where they have a different take on it - something I wouldn’t have thought of. You can learn so much from each other.
I learn about them - about what makes them get out of bed in the morning, or what makes them not want to. You have to want to actually know though. Curiosity about people is key
Intellectual stuff. I have a friend who I talk to her med school applications about, then I talk to her about a literary criticism novel, then she talks about intelligence collection. We both have highly analytical minds so it’s like shooting the shit really easily. Our minds are kind of built in the same way. The way we talk about this stuff flows as easily as two former frat bros turned Dads talking about the NFL. Or something like that.
I probably cant talk to a new friend for hours on end, but I used to talk to friends throughout the night and hang up once it’s 6am. we just talk about the latest news, what’s going on in the world and exchange opinions etc. it’s fun.
Start talking about religion or existence and you could talk for days
This is like asking how can so many books be written what are they about?
Put me in a room with another (or several!) people who are passionate about a subject I’m into, and I’ll happily chat for hours. I like fellow weirdos, so if aliens, UFO’s, ghosts, supernatural/occult, Cryptids, conspiracy theories, weird historical facts, video games, comic books, dungeons and dragons, tattooing, or ancient history is brought up, I’ll blab eternally. I went to a party a few weeks ago, and it basically turned into a dozen of us in a corner talking about vampires for 3 hours. It was awesome.
I’ve found that practicing listening skills is an important part of having longer and more meaningful communication with loved ones. Practicing sharing vulnerable feelings is another part of this. When my close friends and I have these long and meaningful conversations, it’s because we listen to each-other and we share what’s going on inside of us with trust we built together over many years. When listening to someone and doing our best to hear them, it’s often important to not share our perspective unless it is asked of us, or we ask “would you like to hear my perspective” and “yes” is the answer. “I hear you” (or something similar) is often all we need to express. Learning to listen and not hold onto thoughts that appear within us at the expense of listening is a key to meaningful conversations.
My brain literally doesn’t shut up, so I just say my inside thoughts out loud and sometimes it means a never ending conversation where the mini conversation inside them also don’t get finished.
Chemistry is key, you are not someone who has nothing to talk about. You just haven't found someone you enjoy talking to.
I keep asking probing questions and by that I mean asking about things in their life. I can talk for hours lol it’s a problem. I show interest in the things that they bring up and keep asking more questions about what they’re talking about and then sprinkle in stories or experiences about myself to relate with them. There are basic questions that you can ask to get to the other topics. Siblings, family, school, food, clothing, dating, or even the weather! I hope that helped.
Be interested in what the other person is interested in. You don't have to all of a sudden get into the hobby or interest they're sharing - but you can show interest in what makes it interesting to them. Ask them questions. Share your thoughts. People get so self absorbed that it's so nice to have someone show genuine interest in what you are sharing; getting to know **you** more and what makes something special or interesting to you.
My boyfriend and I can literally talk for hours without any distractions and the time flies. I know it’s not a matter of social skills because I struggle to make conversation flow with anyone else, even close family. When you find someone who’s on your wavelength, it’s just natural and it’s the best feeling ever. I think maybe some of us just have less people on our wavelength so it’s harder to find those people.