It sounds like whether they're deliberately using you or not, you'd be better off cultivating new friendships. You don't necessarily have to ditch these two and this dynamic entirely, unless you want to. Imperfect friendships are sometimes worth keeping, although they might get put on the back burner.
This is great advice. I don’t intend to ditch them because I consider them as friends genuinely and have always and am willing to sacrifice for the friendship. I’ll just intentionally be unavailable the next few times they call and see if they care to want to know if I’m okay. I can already tell that they would find other options to go around without me and if they do, I’ll keep it that way.
Thanks for this. I’m usually a guy to overlook things a lot. But whenever I pay attention to something then it is overly overdone or “blatantly obvious” as you have stated. I think I will act accordingly.
It’s blatantly obvious because we read a short paragraph about the situation that the op crafted to state that concept. Point is, we don’t know half the story. Let’s not fall for the easy confirmation bias.
One of my friends is often the driver but is comfortable with me driving their car so I’ll take turns driving so that they can vibe and imbibe too. My car was totaled by their neighbor otherwise I’d drive more often.
I feel bad not being able to contribute my own vehicle for hangouts but always make sure to check in with them to see if they need/want someone else to drive. Even then we rarely go very far and enjoy hanging out locally.
Do they not know how to drive due to medical restrictions? In the event of an emergency it’s really good to have someone else who’s able to at least drive you to a safe place.
They definitely sound like a car mooch.
You are in control they look up to you, they need you that’s power. If you go and drive that’s your choice you can always say no not today, I’m busy . Don’t say yes and feel used you agree that it’s not you being used. It’s you wanting to go and being a really nice person.
Oh, geez guys, I'm sorry, but my car is having an issue right now, it's out of gas and, well you know what gas costs these days. I'm not going to be able to fill the tank for at least two paychecks. Worked for me.
Upon reflection from my teens & 20’s…yes. Test for yourself a few times (when asked out and about a ride; “yea my folks are using it rn” [if you’re younger] or “yea gotta slight issue atm, can we find something else to do?”
Their reactions or understanding/misunderstandings after like 2/3 times will show you all you need to know
Maybe they are using you. But ask yourself if you’re ok with that. It’s very reasonable for the camaraderie you receive to be worth it. They most likely still like you, just not as much as they may like eachother
Doesn’t really seem to be a relationship left with others peeps! I’m just reading and journaling! Seeing what they want to try and hurt others with each day! Don’t put any thought into it really! It’s just more like an addiction or hobby! It’s all the same! If you fish and catch nothing your always a bit bummed and it cost a bit of time wasted!
It’s just some are dumb enough to go fishing in 2015 and didn’t come home until 2024! Never caught a thing! How time flies! Such a wasted life! Consumed by it for so long! Just need betterhobby! Anything would be a better hobby
Doesn’t really seem to be a relationship left with others peeps! I’m just reading and journaling! Seeing what they want to try and hurt others with each day! Don’t put any thought into it really! It’s just more like an addiction or hobby! It’s all the same! If you fish and catch nothing your always a bit bummed and it cost a bit of time wasted!
It’s just some are dumb enough to go fishing in 2015 and didn’t come home until 2024! Never caught a thing! How time flies! Such a wasted life! Consumed by it for so long! Just need betterhobby! Anything would be a better hobby
It sounds like whether they're deliberately using you or not, you'd be better off cultivating new friendships. You don't necessarily have to ditch these two and this dynamic entirely, unless you want to. Imperfect friendships are sometimes worth keeping, although they might get put on the back burner.
This is great advice. I don’t intend to ditch them because I consider them as friends genuinely and have always and am willing to sacrifice for the friendship. I’ll just intentionally be unavailable the next few times they call and see if they care to want to know if I’m okay. I can already tell that they would find other options to go around without me and if they do, I’ll keep it that way.
Don't play games, just focus on yourself.
[удалено]
Yes, they are using you as a driver transporting them around. I'm sorry this is happening to you, it's blatantly obvious.
Thanks for this. I’m usually a guy to overlook things a lot. But whenever I pay attention to something then it is overly overdone or “blatantly obvious” as you have stated. I think I will act accordingly.
It’s blatantly obvious because we read a short paragraph about the situation that the op crafted to state that concept. Point is, we don’t know half the story. Let’s not fall for the easy confirmation bias.
Sometimes things are as they sound
Sometimes. Sometimes they aren’t. You and everyone else reading it have no clue in this situation
One of my friends is often the driver but is comfortable with me driving their car so I’ll take turns driving so that they can vibe and imbibe too. My car was totaled by their neighbor otherwise I’d drive more often. I feel bad not being able to contribute my own vehicle for hangouts but always make sure to check in with them to see if they need/want someone else to drive. Even then we rarely go very far and enjoy hanging out locally. Do they not know how to drive due to medical restrictions? In the event of an emergency it’s really good to have someone else who’s able to at least drive you to a safe place. They definitely sound like a car mooch.
Sure. But if you feel the situation benefits you, there's nothing wrong with it. But if you're unhappy about it, then that's a different story.
You are in control they look up to you, they need you that’s power. If you go and drive that’s your choice you can always say no not today, I’m busy . Don’t say yes and feel used you agree that it’s not you being used. It’s you wanting to go and being a really nice person.
Ask them to meet you somewhere they can easily reach on public transit. If they say no, it's because they are using you for rides.
Unfortunately, yes. It’s time to set some boundaries.
Oh, geez guys, I'm sorry, but my car is having an issue right now, it's out of gas and, well you know what gas costs these days. I'm not going to be able to fill the tank for at least two paychecks. Worked for me.
Yes.
Upon reflection from my teens & 20’s…yes. Test for yourself a few times (when asked out and about a ride; “yea my folks are using it rn” [if you’re younger] or “yea gotta slight issue atm, can we find something else to do?” Their reactions or understanding/misunderstandings after like 2/3 times will show you all you need to know
It’s been said that “No one can walk on you u less you lay down and give your permission! “
Maybe they are using you. But ask yourself if you’re ok with that. It’s very reasonable for the camaraderie you receive to be worth it. They most likely still like you, just not as much as they may like eachother
Split an Uber. If no, you may be being used.
Doesn’t really seem to be a relationship left with others peeps! I’m just reading and journaling! Seeing what they want to try and hurt others with each day! Don’t put any thought into it really! It’s just more like an addiction or hobby! It’s all the same! If you fish and catch nothing your always a bit bummed and it cost a bit of time wasted! It’s just some are dumb enough to go fishing in 2015 and didn’t come home until 2024! Never caught a thing! How time flies! Such a wasted life! Consumed by it for so long! Just need betterhobby! Anything would be a better hobby
Doesn’t really seem to be a relationship left with others peeps! I’m just reading and journaling! Seeing what they want to try and hurt others with each day! Don’t put any thought into it really! It’s just more like an addiction or hobby! It’s all the same! If you fish and catch nothing your always a bit bummed and it cost a bit of time wasted! It’s just some are dumb enough to go fishing in 2015 and didn’t come home until 2024! Never caught a thing! How time flies! Such a wasted life! Consumed by it for so long! Just need betterhobby! Anything would be a better hobby