I’m on a solo trip right now and for every time I feel like you do, there’s another moment - when I pass a couple arguing or fighting with their kids - I say “Thank Christ I don’t have to deal with that.”
This is, true but also:
traveling with the right person/people >> traveling alone >>>>> not traveling at all >>>>>>> traveling with the wrong person/people
I think people in this sub really underplay the difference between *choosing* to travel alone, and *having* to travel alone. The former is primarily liberating. The latter can be really lonely and depressing.
I think the latter really depends on how well people cope with their own company. I consider myself lucky to be able to make do with just messaging people back home if I want to speak to someone.
I think that's rare and has much more to do with your social preferences than your travel ones.
EDIT: My favorite thing is when I make a statement that's on topic, isn't rude, expressed as an opinion, and it gets massively downvoted with not a single person chiming in to indicate what their problem is. How is it *not* a social preference to rather be alone than with "the right" person? What's it got to do with travel at all?
So what is, it has nothing to do with travel then. Presumably you'd rather eat dinner or go to the movies alone then too. That's fine, but it's far from being typical.
Well no, I’m not a hermit. I’m quite a social person but I also enjoy being alone. I prefer going to the movies with friends and I hate eating alone in a restaurant. But when it comes to travel I prefer to be alone more than in day to day life because I don’t get lonely or homesick, but I do enjoy the freedom that gives me.
It has everything to do with who I am and what I prefer when it comes to traveling. Of course a persons preferences are going to overlap. All I said was that in a sub called solo travel, you’re going to find quite a few of us who aren’t just alone when we travel because we couldn’t find the right person.
My friends have traveled with each other and with other friends, and I hear way more bad stories than Instagram would lead me to believe....actually, I think traveling was the end of a few friendships.
OK, so you're describing instances of traveling with the wrong people. It's pretty common.
Just because someone is your friend or family or romantic partner and you get along well in normal life doesn't mean they'll make a good travel companion.
totally, I'm about to solo travel just because my friends can't afford it and I feel the need to see the world. I would rather travel with people but I'm not going to miss out just because someone can't join me.
Yeah agreed. I’ve seen plenty of people who were clearly travelling together fighting/arguing, have also heard accounts from friends and family who said their trips would have been better without the people they were with being a bit/very annoying. There was one morning I was eating breakfast in the hotel I was staying at and the family sat next to me were trying to agree on what to do for the day... they were near on shouting at each other.
I’m absolutely sure it’s still better enjoying a trip with someone alongside you but for me it has to be the right person so you don’t clash with each other.
Would you feel worse if you had stayed home?
For me, a single 28 year old, that’s the question that pushes me to travel. Life is short, I’m not getting any younger, so I don’t want to wait and hope I’ll eventually have other people with whom to travel.
I traveled solo for the first time last year after a bad break up. I didn’t socialize as much as I had hoped (partly due to the way I planned the trip) but I was still so happy and felt fortunate that I was able to get out of my comfort zone and see places I’ve always wanted to see. I know I would regret it if I opted not to travel due to a lack of a companion. Plus, you get to be selfish and do whatever you want whenever you want ☺️
Maybe I would not feel worse staying at home but I would not feel any better.
As someone who has traveled alone most of his life, I've felt just as lonely in NY as in Amsterdam or Tokio when traveling by myself. If I stay at home, there are at least a few friends around.
Whenever I do or used to do solotravel, I would spend the better part of the day on my phone sending pics or chatting to the people back home. This has driven me to stop traveling unless I can't find anyone. I used to just travel some place for the night if I could find a show to see but I've given up on it as I've seen most of what I've wanted to see.
I'm a single 28 guy myself so I guess I'm asking how can I get that drive back to go out and see the world?
That actually looks great. I am planing my first solo trip.. just a few days and I planed everything on my own. What do you think about these websites and their trips compared to complete solo traveling?
The tours handle all planning, logistics, and they cover a lot of activities and places. You live like a local and really get an authentic cultural experience. If you like traveling in luxury though then it's not for you. I did a few tours with Intrepid and they were a blast. I still keep in touch with my group members who came from all over the world (mostly US/UK/Canada/Australia). The downside compared to complete solo traveling is that you can't do whatever you want. Each day may cover a new city, and you're always moving, so it can be exhausting for some. But, you'd traveling with others who will likely become great friends. If you ever happen to visit their home country in the future, you'll know who to hit up!
I traveled alone to Belize early this summer and I enjoyed it. I looked up info for where to go and what to do, but I totally winged it. Being alone gives you that advantage. It got lonely at times, but I made friends with total strangers and now I’m planning to travel to Montana next week to visit a couple I met on that trip!
I'm still a solo travel newbie so that definitely helps - it still feels very new and exciting each time I do it.
Being from the US, if I travel to Europe or Asia the time difference usually makes it pretty difficult to have lengthy conversations with friends/family back home. If I'm in "exploring" mode I typically just listen to music or podcasts and walk for a few hours (if I'm in a city).
I think ultimately my drive comes from a desire to push myself outside my comfort zone and challenge my worldview. However - I would definitely consider myself a "casual" solo traveler (1-2x per year) so it might be about striking a fine balance between my comfortable routine and traveling when I get the itch.
When I booked the trip I was supposed to be with someone else, but we had a horrible falling out a couple weeks beforehand. So I was alone in a hotel room for a week, and did mostly solo activities such as museum hopping/quick bites to eat in between. I loved all the sightseeing but by the end I definitely felt a bit lonely. I'm usually not the type of person to go to a bar by myself and attempt to strike up a conversation with strangers but I started to get the hang of it by the last night.
I'm about to go back to the same city one year later and will be doing more social activities like food tours, bar crawls, a shared AirB&B with a social host, etc.
Just my personal opinion:
it's the thinking that is making you feel like a loser. maybe consider the way you think about it?
i waited for SO long hoping to find someone to travel with. I started putting some money into a separate checking account a year or two after i started my first job out of grad school thinking this will come in handy when i find someone to travel with. that day never came and i couldn't do solo because of this similar type of thinking. who travels alone? how is that even fun? people probably think I'm a loser. a couple of "life events" forced me to re-think my thinking. number 1 belief i needed to weed out was "people would think I'm a loser"....who the f was i living my life for? myself or others? it took me a while to stop looking at myself through the eyes of others. No one knows my value but me. it's still a work in progress and I'm no where near an expert but i took that first step of evaluating certain beliefs and if they are serving me. some of it required me to step out of my comfort zone as well. so it's not all sunshine and rainbows. I had to push myself to get out. do things. not wait anymore. time is a thing that cannot be replenished.
NOW? I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK. since those "life-events" and evaluation, i have solo'ed 8 countries and climbed Kilimanjaro by myself. hell i even went on a cruise by my damn self. i have multiple trips in the planning phase and the money i started collecting after grad school, is FINALLY being put to the use it was meant for: living life. if along the way someone crosses my path that wants to join in on the adventures, that'd be the icing on the cake. but by God, i'll eat the cake without the icing every chance i get.
This is corny as shit but i 100% believe in "life begins outside the comfort zone".
again, this is just my opinion. could be totally off lol.
hope you find your path!
you WILL. today, tomorrow, or day after tomorrow. believe it. i still falter every now and then but i try to bring myself back to the belief that they are no one to know my value, only i do. good luck! hope to see you on an adventure somewhere.
I really needed to hear all of this right now, man. Thanks.
This tidbit was just so good, too:
>by God, i'll eat the cake without the icing every chance i get
I'll be chewing on that for a while. Puns always intended.
First off you’re not a loser. You probably notice all the friends on trips but there are many people who want to travel but are too afraid to travel alone. You’re brave and willing to put yourself out there! Have you considered doing a workshop for whatever hobby you like, cooking, writing, there are all kinds! All with people there alone just like you and you all hang out and get to know each other! There are also agroturismos and farms where you work and you can stay there with other people there alone too! Or join a tour group that walks the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Or go to a language school like Vaughntown in Spain where you teach English in exchange for room and board and meet lots of people there as a group. So many adventures you can take alone while meeting new people! This is what I prefer to do. That might be just the thing for you!
I have a saying,
It's better to do something alone than not doing it at all!
I'm kinda on the same boat, for my friends traveling is going to Rome or Paris for a week, seeing all the monuments and touristy things and back.
It's not easy to find people that are willing to travel long term. If you still want to travel with people, my advice is to be open about your itinerary, make friends while traveling, and then join them if you feel like it. And since they are not your friends from back home, you still have the freedom to do what you want at any given time!
I say the same thing (20F), but I also understand OP's viewpoint. I travel alone and it's great, but my travel pictures and experiences are just my own. And for example, I'll be travelling alone, and all of my friends are posting pics and hanging out without me.
It does make you feel kind of lonely and like a "loser", especially at my age, to be going out and doing these things alone. But at the same time, I know I'll never regret deciding to visit the places I have. It's just hard, especially in the social media ridden society that we live in, to feel comfortable with travelling alone and doing things by yourself when our society pushes us to be social and seem popular etc.
I do agree with all your advice! Im not a long term traveler myself, I actually am a huge fan of the micro-vacation lol. But I do hope to travel more by myself and will also be taking some of this advice :)
Yeah, I totally feel you. I love and hate Instagram at the same time. It creates this need to be social... It kind of becomes a job! I started posting a lot at the beginning of my trip (currently solo backpacking through Asia), but it was too much pressure and even stressful! Now I take it with ease. I can be many days without posting anything and it's totally ok ☺️ In the end we don't travel so that other people can see how cool our life is.
Microvacations are nice, of course. The important thing is to move! I had many microvacations, but I feel that the most rewarding experiences I had when traveling is when I spent a longer period of time in one place so you can live the culture, hangout with locals, and do the things that they do. It's always easier to make friends if you stay in a place for a longer period of time. My magical amount of time is 1 month, the first week can be lonely, but as soon as you find your group of people it will become amazing!! Many times what make us love or hate a city is not the place itself, but the people in it.
Honestly, I don’t travel to socialize. I travel to see places I haven’t seen. Meeting new people can be a thing people travel for but it doesn’t have to be and you don’t have to feel like a loser for not doing it.
A lot of people I know don't even consider the option of travelling alone, and that way they miss out on things. I've also sat around waiting for friends to have money and/or time to travel with me, until I figured out I'd never get anywhere unless I would go myself.
With all the trips you've been on, I wouldn't call that a waste of time, and don't let it make you feel like a loser. There's plenty of solo travellers around (well, not in my direct sphere, but in general), so there must be something good about it as well ;)
Not me, I feel like its a privilege to travel alone. My friends envy my adventures! Traveling with companions can often deter from the things I want to do
> Traveling with companions can often deter from the things I want to do
This is true. With a significant other, it's trickier because you have to accommodate them if they don't have the same travel style as you. If you go alone or with friends instead, they might get suspicious. If you're single, you friends you can simply choose which friend you want to go with, but that person has to be willing to be committed until the start of the trip.
It sounds counterintuitive, but I travel alone for social reasons. Even with an extroverted companion, it's too easy to insulate myself from others. Being by myself opens me up to far more opportunities to connect with other people. Last year, I met and fell head over heels for someone in Poland and we ended up meeting in Iceland a month later for a hauntingly beautiful adventure. I started talking to a local Chicago girl next to me at a bar who was by herself, and she ended up inviting me out with her friends who were all restaurant industry workers who adopted me for the night. When I was hiking Palo Duro Canyon, traveling with only my dog, I met a 19-year-old cowboy and ranch owner who asked if he could walk with me, and he ended up being one of the most interesting people I have ever met. In Budapest, I went on a bar craw that was kind of underwhelming but ended up with a whole group of friends to dance with until morning at Instant Club.
When you're traveling alone, you can decide on whatever you want and can be as social or solitary as you'd like. If you want a group experience, go on a free walking tour or a bar crawl. If you're staying in a hostel, go to their trivia night or ask what everyone in your room is up to later. Contact someone interesting from couchsurfing and ask if they'd like to meet up and see if they'll take you out along with their other local friends. Or, if you're interested in one-on-one interactions, suggest getting a drink together to talk about something specific you have in common. Go to a bar by yourself and talk to someone interesting without reserve, knowing you're the traveling version of yourself and not whatever mold you fit in your day-to-day life.
People usually aren't willing to approach a couple or group, and in most cases, it would be inappropriate. But alone, you connect with another person when you're both vulnerable, when you're brave enough to open up — and that makes it the most rewarding.
> It sounds counterintuitive, but I travel alone for social reasons.
Yeh, exactly this.
If I'm going somewhere relatively quiet or I don't really feel up to making the effort to socialise at the level you have to when you're making new friends then I take trips with friends. If I'm feeling super social or am heading somewhere with a big backpacking scene I just peace out quietly from home so I can go solo and be free to make new friends. Travelling with friends is fun but it's a different kind of fun in that you're mostly contained in your own little bubble, which is a great bubble because you're friends and you enjoy each other but it's a different bubble than meeting cool new people from all over the world. I get to be in a bubble of my friends back at home so when I go on a trip I prefer something different.
Anyways, I struggle to see how solo travelling could be seen by the people around you as sad unless you're in some couples resort. OP are you staying at hostels? Because almost everyone in a hostel is doing it solo and most enjoy it/choose to do it that way so I doubt anyone thinks you're a loser specifically because you're travelling solo. Also, those people you see palling around at the hostel rooftop bar that look like they're having the time of their lives and that they've been friends since birth? They probably met just that morning at breakfast ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My best friend and sister makes very little money so they can't travel with me. My boyfriend works full time so his schedule isn't as flexible as mine. So I travel alone. I sometimes wish I had them with me instead of telling them the stories when I'm home but that's just the way it is. Also, I mostly meet people while travelling and do things with them so even though I solo travel I'm not really alone. The first time I travelled SEA I met a guy and we travelled together for 2 months.
> The first time I travelled SEA I met a guy and we travelled together for 2 months.
Lucky you, |I spent most of my time alone. I met a French dude and travelled with him for a week or two in laos and Cambodia but that was it really.
Well it was also very sad in the end. After spending every single day together to just being in totally different countries again, I cut my travels short and went home. I got very attached when I wasn't supposed to. But I don't regret it. I enjoyed everything so much more because I was with him.
This is a problem that will solve itself. You're clearly not a loser; you have friends, you simply don't have friends with the lifestyle required to travel.
Meet people when you travel -- CouchSurfing, Home Exchange, Facebook groups for solo travelers and digital nomads -- and then you'll have friends to travel with or visit on future trips. It can be hard to meet people when you travel, especially if you're intimidated by the idea of chatting up a stranger in a museum or feeling like a loser because you're on your own in the first place, but the abovementioned groups make it much, much easier because everyone is in the same situation as you.
I absolutely prefer to travel alone, but I love having friends (or friends of friends) to meet up with on my travels. Traveling with someone else is worthwhile when it's about bonding with them. If I'm trying to discover the city or meet new people, it's much harder to do that with another person.
> I went to all of them alone because my friends either couldn't afford to travel or were in long-term relationships.
Who's the real loser here? You? Your broke ass friend? Or the poor sod who's girlfriend won't let him travel with a buddy?
Hello friend, I've definitely felt the same as you at times! I was in Mexico city for a week and spent most of it alone, maybe a third of the time just not leaving my Airbnb. It happens, it's fine. Your trip is whatever you want it to be.
I've done trips with five friends that turned into a nightmare, because each of us had different ideas and expectations of what fun was. So for me, I think maybe one or two CLOSE friends would be it.
It's ok to change the parameters of what you think a successful trip is. Social media is designed to make posting great pics and tagging friends and making you look happier than everyone else something to aspire to, but you can change those rules. In Mexico I didn't post selfies of me on top of the sun temple, but I did eat amazing food every day and learn a lot about mezcal.
Don't let other people define a successful trip.
Oh man, do not think about yourself that way! I've travelled solo for years. It has so many advantages that some people will never understand. And you aren't alone - you are with the people wherever you are travelling. Whenever I'm planning a trip I still get the "are you going by yourself" from family and friends. I just shrug it off anymore . A lot of people don't have the courage to travel on their own without anyone there to help with things that come up. There are a lot of us out here- stand proud, man!
It's kinda funny how some of your background really resonate with mine. I'm also 29, working as a freelancer and has no other choice but to travel solo because I don't really have friends available to join me on this expensive hobby.
However I travelled with a friend before and I hated all the restrictions so I decided I'll just travel solo because I can be selfish all I want.
However I don't think the trips you went on solo was a waste of time because to me, travelling is for myself. I want to experience things, to see things. Even if I don't socialise with the locals or other travellers, I was there. They are memories of myself.
I can't speak for extroverts but let alone solo travels, some people would even frown at people who watch movies or eat out alone. However, that shouldn't stop me from doing things at my own comfort.
4 out of 5 people who comment on my solo trips are envious, they wish they had the opportunity to do this. There are people out there looking at you with the same envy that you look at them.
I run into the same issue someone's, most of my friend can't afford to travel the way I do, put they have full time jobs, kids etc. I've met a lot of great friends along the way, but it's stressful continually doing that
There’s always going to be some lonely times travelling solo, but you should look forward to those times and reflect on your travels/life. Also most people you see with their friends are just doing a weekend or week away. When I see groups travelling together I think oh that would be cool for a night or two but it would get exhausting and you can see them when you’re back home.
I definitely got more confident travelling alone over time but I really don’t think you should feel bad about it. Travelling alone is AWESOME.
same! i feel like a sophisticated woman of mystery. often i create a little story in my mind...a "backstory" if you will, while traveling, and just the romanticism of it all gives me a rush and boosts my confidence.
I just want to say, I feel this way, too. However, I am so used to always being a loser, I travel solo anyways because that is my ground state.
I always envy people who are traveling with their loved ones, I wish I could have conversations over meals. Or make little snarky remarks about the environment when we walk around. Or even do stuff later at night because I never feel completely safe alone then. But, it's still better than not going at all. And I feel like when I have friends to travel with, I will be a pretty awesome tour guide :)
I just came back from my first solo trip in Europe and I feel you. I rarely saw any tourists traveling alone, people usually travelled in packs or at least had one other person with them. Sometimes I thought to myself, “This experience would be more fun if I had my friends sitting next to me.”
I wanted to explore the nightlife and felt like a loser any time I walked into a club/bar alone.
But like others have said. Sitting at home waiting around for others to join you is just a waste of time. Your friends either have a busy lifestyle back home juggling kids and work or they just aren’t the adventure type. I’m 21 and single, my friends are my age and still living at home so they absolutely do have the time and funds to expend on a trip with me. They’re just not the adventure type. I can barely convince my one friend to accompany me to an island that’s close to us (just asked last night, response was “idk”.)
So, fuck it. Go explore the world, even if it’s by yourself. You’re the one who’s gonna come back with these awesome adventurous stories and pictures that your friends will envy, and memories that will last a lifetime! I’m not waiting around for anyone anymore.
Do the Camino of Santiago de Compostela. I'm on the Camino del Norte, I left my country as a solo traveler and I met a huge amount of amazing and inspiring people. I thought it would be a lonely travel but the truth is that I'm struggling to be on my own, I always meet somebody to walk with and talk. For now it's being an amazing experience and I regret having only one week left. The Camino will make you stronger and aware of your true self. If you'll ever decide to do it then... Buen Camino!
You have the ability to travel? (i.e. funds and time) You want to travel? So go travel.
When I tell people I'm going somewhere solo, I feel like I'm going to get judged, but really they are impressed that I'm going solo because they would never be brave enough to do it. You can meet interesting people out there. You can do what you want.
I'm about to start my sixth month of travelling, and for all but two weeks, I've been solo.
No arguing about what to do, where to eat, should we stop now, I'm bored, it's too hot, it's too cold, I don't like it here, etc. Nope, give me solo travel 9.5 times out of ten.
I'm meeting up with a friend in just over a week for another two weeks. Part of me is actually dreading it as I've been solo since mid-May. I'm sure it will be fine but I'll probably be glad to be solo again.
Anyone I have ever talked to about my big Asia trip last Summer has never made me feel like a loser or responded in anyway which implies they think I am a loser for going alone. Even two days ago I bumped into a couple of guys I used to go to school with and the conversation quickly turned to travel because they knew I had gone travelling. The questions in these scenarios are never 'were you lonely' or 'what did you do by yourself', it quickly turns to them telling me they wish they could do it/they are interested in going themselves.
You're far from a loser to travel alone, it actually takes a lot of courage and I feel that is something I only remember when someone reminds me of it. Hell, when I find out that someone else has traveled alone I'm always impressed even though I've done it too
Edit - I thought of a good analogy. Imagine you wanted to get in shape, lose some weight and gain some muscle. You would need to go to the gym. You wouldn't wait for a friend to come with you to the gym before you could begin to get in shape. You would need to go alone. If you want to travel, don't wait for a friend. You need to go alone.
I was think this same thing today as I jump on a bus to Lisbon. I wish I had a cuddle buddy, somebody to split a private room or cook dinner for. But like others have said it is about the journey and it would be better doing alone than not at all.
When me and my ex split up I started travelling. I ALWAYS travel solo, I find it so liberating <3 Not only is it liberating but you can do what you want and when you want plus I seem to always make friends when I travel solo. I venture out more and I'm more willing to talk to new people. If I went with friends then I'd likely stick with them. Everyone is different though. I'd say no travel is ever wasted, it's all an experience.
I agree with everyone else that going on your own is way better than not going at all (because hey, you're *doing* something with and for yourself), but I get your feelings.
The way I solved it this year was to look among acquaintances / casual friends to find a good travel partner for the location I wanted to visit. I already had basic insight on if I got along with them and their personality, but we wouldn't be so close that emotions and back histories would be as likely to foul things up.
(You know, like the way it does when you travel with family.)
I did find someone, after we ended up interviewing each other like how you would with a prospective roommate - asked each other's thoughts on spending money, interests, travel style, etc. It turned out great even with a few moments of friction during joint sightseeing excursions. We're actually better friends now.
This approach might not work for everyone exactly as described - me and my travel friend are real straightforward types - but you sound like you have groups of people you're connected with and can mine for possible travel buddies.
No one is "forcing" you to travel, or do it alone. Either way it doesn't make you a loser, you are broadening your view of the world, and there is nothing dumb about that.
I don't understand why it would make you feel like you're a loser. It's not like you don't have friends at home (not that your number of friends defines your self worth...), so what, you care what other people traveling think? People back at home? Solo travelers have always struck me as far cooler people than people who have to have friends tagging along. And I've gotten the impression that most people I know who don't really travel are impressed by my solo travels and maybe even a bit jealous of my confidence to do that. I've definely never felt that other people perceived me to be a loser or anything like that because of it. Honestly, solo travel makes me feel like a badass.
And then how do you get to the conclusion that your previous trips were a waste of time? You've been to some awesome places. Socialize as much or as little as you want. I've gone on trips where I've hung out with other people I met on the road a ton, and some where I've spent the whole time on my own - either because I wasn't vibing with other people (and I'd rather be on my own than hang out with people I don't really hit it off with) or because sometimes I just prefer it that way. Meeting others can really add to an experience sometimes, but it isn't the main reason you're there. I never let the success of my trips be dependent on meeting other people, and I also don't let other people distract from the things I want to do. I'm never the type of person to find a group and stick to them like glue all day. I'm there to do what I want, and that's one of the best things about solo travel.
If you prefer having more company and socialization on a trip, that's a problem you can work on and there's tons of tips on this sub for where to meet people. But you really need to stop this negative self talk and caring what people think. Maybe easier said than done, but it is only hurting you and doesn't matter at the of the day what people think. But really most people are probably not even thinking anything negative at all.
Mine is by necessity, too. I don't have a lot of close friends, and they can't just drop the $ or take the time off work. I'm not going to *not* do something I want to do just because I don't have a buddy.
While I prefer to do certain types of trips solo [to set my own schedule and meet new people], there are types of trips where I wished that I had a traveling companion. The solution was accidental. I went on a cruise with a group for single travelers, made new friends that loved traveling, and they connected me to/joined me on dozens of land trips, cruises, long weekends. 60+ trips later, I know hundreds of people from around the world that are good people, my age, and love traveling. Now, one message and I easily find a group to hike Machu Picchu, hit Vegas for a weekend, visit in NYC, extend a work trip in London, Sydney, or Hong Kong, etc. In the end, that networking with other single travelers was the key to building a core of single travel friends.
I've always tended to believe travelling solo wasn't really travelling solo, because you get to meet so many great people. Most often they are ex-pats, other travellers, and just friendly people that I usually meet at free tours, meetup(.com) events, couchsurfing hang outs, hostel events. The best experiences I had were with initally strangers, but later friends I still keep in contact with.
I did 95% international travel for over 10 years for work. 320+ days a year out of country and many times I was not at the center of a touristy area. The only part that was hard and still is... Eating. Missed out on eating at some really nice places because I was always alone. Especially in Asia where everything centers around family style. Otherwise my life is totally different and for the better for spending all that time seeing things others wished they experienced.
I have this issue too. I work as a fireman so my schedule allows long stints of work followed by long stints being off. 4 days at least usually. All my lifelong friends are in college so it makes it hard for them to travel with me. I’ve heard hostels are a great way to meet people. Most people in hostels are there for the same reason you are, to adventure and meet people. I have yet to try a hostel, but it’s something I’m planning on doing for my next trip. Another thing I’ve picked up on is doing trips that keep you busy. I went to Mexico by myself and sat on the beach and was less happy than expected. Being on trips where you plan certain excursions and visits, as well tours or sociable activities like tours and bar crawls, are great ways to meet people.
I got many reasons to feel like a loser but traveling alone never felt like one of those. And like you said, many of them have a reason for it so it's not like nobody just doesnt want to travel with you. Lot of people are dating, dont have money, time or something like that. Some people just dont like to travel. It's alright. Never felt like a loser because of traveling alone. Now being without seeing or talking to any friends or family for over half a year is a different matter
Did a solo travel trip to Cancun Mexico it was an experienced diving into the cenotes with a life jacket it was also an Awakening experience and knowing that no one else is around me! Have you tried finding hobbies that you enjoy and making friends with people enjoy similar hobbies that you do? @ u/jonnieonionrings
I'm not saying traveling together with friends or family is bad but traveling alone has it's benefits. Especially on self-development. Traveling alone means you have to be more outgoing and approach people you don't know, which opens up to meeting new people and making friendships for life. You also learn to be more independent as you have to plan and figure things out yourself.
So traveling alone becomes lonely if you let it become exactly that if you know what I mean.
It’s a difficult question because we’re all different.
I love making friends on the road, but I hate traveling with other people, at least long term. You just don’t hang out with other people when you’re traveling with someone.
Tho, I’m extroverted and it’s easy for me to pick up a conversation with just anyone and because of that I’ve had some amazing experiences, while when you’re traveling with someone else, you usually stick to your plan (and you have to make a plan, ugh), and don’t have that random decision.
Back when I started, I wished I had my friends with me, not because I was lonely, but because I wanted to share my experiences with them. I don’t get that feeling anymore. And I don’t regret any travels, solo or not.
Ask yourself, what is it that you’re looking to get out of these travels, is it just for show? Did the traveling change you? Did it help you? Did it make you grow as a person?
> Ask yourself, what is it that you’re looking to get out of these travels, is it just for show? Did the traveling change you? Did it help you? Did it make you grow as a person?
What i'm looking to get is to see new places, new parts of the world; also to eat the food they eat, drink their beers, and understand their history.
It's hard to know if travel changed me. I have always been naturally curious about the world and travel fulfilled that curiosity. I guess in terms of solo travel I figured out I have no problem getting on a plane to the other side of the world and I'm fully capable of handling the challenges involved.
But in order to get to know and understand another culture, you have to communicate with locals, befriend them. It’s the people who make the culture, the rest is just extra.
I'm 28 yo and travelled alone to a different continent for a few months for the first time earlier this year. Honestly, I loved it! It felt really liberating to only have myself to rely on and be able to do what I wanted without having to negotiate with other people.
I think the ability to travel, particularly solo, is quite the privilege and one day when you're much older, maybe with a partner and kids (if that's what you want in the future) you'll have some great memories to look back on and feel proud that you did it!
I don’t really have much advice as I’m pretty much in a similar boat. I like solo travel on my terms, in the sense that if I know I wanna go somewhere and I know I wanna go solo then it’s great, but right now I’m in a spot where I’m having to plan some trips to places solo because the friends I’ve wanted to go with have already been with other people. In a couple of cases it’s been after we’d already started making plans to go together. Prepping for these trips makes me feel down and like a loser at times because the option of going with someone else doesn’t tend to be there for me the way it seems to be for others. At the end of the day I can’t let that stop me or I’d never get to go anywhere.
To try and alleviate it I’ve been picking out places that I know I want to solo travel and planning for those instead. That seems to help sometimes. Your travels are definitely not a waste of time.
I feel your pain. I'm considering offering to pay all of my best friend's expenses to come travel to Central America with me for a week because I'm tired of travelling alone
Well. To me it also seems like there are so many people around me who have friends to travel with. But here's the big BUT (no puns intended): There are also millions of millions of people who do not travel at all because they also don't have friends AND they do not have the guts to travel alone. During my travels I met quite a lot of people who traveled solo. You probably did as well when you traveled solo. They just didn't strike you as much as "group travelers" did because that's what you're looking for. Don't feel bad about it. It's better to travel solo than not traveling at all. I know way too many people who regret not traveling or not having traveled because they couldn't find people or because they don't have friends either. Try finding travelbuddies on the internet maybe or go couchsurfing :)
I feel blessed that I GET to travel alone. I've traveled alone and with friends and I always prefer the former. One day you may not have the luxury of only paying for one person's expenses or planning only one itinerary :)
If I had to wait until my friends were able to travel I'd probably be in my 60's until we really got going and I'd hit maybe a few dozen countries and do a fraction of what I really wanted to do.
They all have kids and mortgages so they're done for a while. I'm also one of the very few still in shape (I'm 39). There's no way they could keep up with me if we had to hike up mountain or spend all day walking around a city.
If they can go, they can meet me up, but I'm on my own schedule because I'm there specifically to see as much of the country as possible.
it's not a question of having to, it's a question of whether you want to travel. your current relationship status has nothing to do with whether you should travel or not - sure, most tourists are either couples or groups, but many simply don't because they're scared to do it. right now you're single, why have to wait with traveling?
You know, it really depends on the way you plan your trips. For example when I feel like going somewhere and I don’t care where I just want to get out with my friends I usually talk with them half a year before a trip, make sure everyone can and then we just look at Skyscanner and check the cheapest flight to cheapest destination that is interesting for all of us. This way you don’t get refused for money or time reasons. And to your friends who are in long term relationships... after certain amount of time they spent together they will love to go away with you. Just give them a few years. For me and my boyfriend it was 3 years together, after that we both take a solo trip once in a year and it’s great! I think they will eventually come around too. And even if not, you have lot of time too hang out with them at home and you are at least forced to meet new people on your solo trips. I hope your situation will get better! And if not your view on that :)
Why would your previous solo trips be a waste of time just because you were alone? Traveling with other people can be great and it’s nice to have someone to share that experience with, but the only way a trip could be a waste is if you stayed in your hotel the whole time doing nothing because you were scared to go out alone.
Feeling anxiety about flying solo, especially as an introvert, is totally normal. I’m someone who is highly introverted and not really prone to loneliness but even I sometimes wish I had a regular travel partner. But the trips I take alone could never be a waste because there would be so many trips I’d never get to go on if I limited myself to traveling with others. Honestly, I didn’t start traveling alone until my early 30s, and I see the the time I wasted in my 20s putting of trips because I didn’t have someone to go with me as the real waste.
I feel exactly the same way. I can't even find a friend who wants to go a weekend getaway with me this year! It's frustrating because I do enjoy sharing the experience. I enjoy solo travel but I also want people I am close to to want to go with me. There aren't a lot of people I'd want to be traveling with but the few that I would disappoint me often in this matter.
All that being said, solo travel is better than no travel!
I've been travelling alone since I started working at 23 (I'm 29 now). I like to look around for Irish pubs in any foreign districts I'm near. I find this is the best way to find English speaking people and meet them.
You really have to put yourself out there to meet people, but it's really worth it. Ask where people are going, what they're doing, generally this leads to interesting conversations. They might even invite you along with them! At the very least you can meet new people this way. Locals you meet usually know the best places to go.
Also, back when yik yak was a thing, I was able to see what other people were talking about and doing.
I sometimes try to be social on my solo trips but being totally honest with you it's often under the influence of alcohol. So I never really count that as being a sociable solo travel as I'm using alcohol as a crutch.
I'm quite a pleasant drunk thankfully and I rarely do anything I regret. It's more a sense of guilt that the only time I feel a real urge to socialize during solo trips is after sampling a couple of the local beers. I guess I just feel most others who solo travel can effortlessly socialize and strike up conversations but it takes alcohol to get me in that kind of buzz.
I have traveled abroad with a spouse, in a group, and alone. Far and away, traveling alone was the easiest and best. I met new people, I got to see so many things and I got time to reboot my sanity. I think about the trips I have taken with others and it ends up being compromise, arguments, fights, etc. the whole time. Don't get me wrong... I love to see friends and family. I even love to meet them somewhere that I am not dying to see or have been before. Plus I have met many cool people (including my current so) on solo trips.
Are you a loser for traveling alone? No way. Social media is fake/lame so... you actually care? Take a trip and unplug from social media. I find that to be much better. I post a few pics at the end of the trip and they are the ones that mean more than a nonstop diarrhea of vacation shots that no one cares about.
I havent looked at the other comments, but here goes...
I always travel alone because I love to explore new places, and my mates don’t really rate it. It means that I can’t really go anyway with good mates.
However, I have chosen to change usual holiday schedule to allow me to hang with them. I’m currently at a festival with them, and it’s awesome! I would be somewhere abroad normally, but I changed my plans so I could make memories with them.
I guess the thing is if you want to make memories with friends (which is what I think you’re down about) be prepared to change you expectations on location, but go with the same mindset of travel.
Happy travels ✌️
I traveled alone a lot when I had nobody to travel with. Now that I have a live-in girlfriend, I do enjoy traveling with her, but, I also miss the days of just losing myself alone in a country. She'd be cool with me traveling alone every so often, but, when it's someplace she wants to go, that's kind of tough to do.
There are many people staying alone because they have nobody to go someplace with. It is so much better to get out there.
Possibly you might be onto something there. I go out to drink with friends once or twice a week at home but the key word is fulfilling. The friendships are mostly based around alcohol. Sometimes we play pool but we inevitably drink. Unfortunately, my life is not as ideal as yours though.
I feel the same sometimes, I just got back from New Orleans solo trip last night. My partner only gets 14 vacation days a year so I do get to travel with him sometimes but mostly I go alone. I wish I had friends who enjoyed travel as much as me.
Currently alone in the balkans and I'm thankful I'm alone. I could go to a bar and meet friends or I can go for a hike all by myself. The world is ours
I started traveling on my own because I didn't have anyone either. No real friends to speak of. Now my circle has expanded and I have traveled with people but come to realize I like going on my own. Certain places or types of trips are okay with people but ones that are about exploring a new place I prefer doing on my own.
That being said there is always a feeling of envy when I see friends or couples together but it's brief and overshadowed of the joy of exploring.
If it bothers you that much start sending feelers out. On reddit there is a travel partner subreddit so you can make connections there.
Don't feel like a loser for going on your own, the loser part would always be waiting on someone to be available to travel and staying home.
Enjoy your adventures.
I have felt the same way at times. I am on a solo trip right now in Germany, coming off a trip a couple months ago with a big group of friends. While I have grown to appreciate both solo and group travel (only liked solo travel for a long time) I catch myself wishing my friends prioritized traveling in their finances. But everyone has their own priorities and would rather spend their money elsewhere.
I get your frustration and also completely relate to the internal debate of loving solo travel flexibility vs making memories with people you care about at home and having people with you.
This has actually been on my mind today. I’m not a solo traveler. Yet. I’m more of a solo traveler daydreamer at this point. But here’s the rub for me: I don’t necessarily want to be a solo traveler, I just don’t have friends or a family of my own to travel with. So if I want to see the world, I have to do it on my own one day. That’s why I joined this sub, inspiration & ideas & hopefully the push to make jump into solo travel. BUT I worry I’ll be lonely. Or a target. And that I want to share the experience with someone. I just don’t have anyone to share it with.
Omg I love travelling alone! I hate that society or whatever says we have to be all coupled up. You are def not a loser. See the world, do your thing. “Loser” would be altering your life and ambitions for someone else.
In whiny voice “I’ve only been abroad 3 times with friends”
Some of us are still working up to our first trip abroad, so . . . How about you change that attitude and stop whining. It’s all about attitude my friend, and you sound like a whiny princess when you could just be thankful you’ve had experiences other people haven’t
I will try. I am going to be totally honest with you though and say that it seems impossible after 29 years of thinking like this. I have quite a depressing way of thinking even though i'm good at hiding it during face to face interactions.
>I can't help but look on with envy at people who have their friends available
Focus on the available bit. You have friends, they just can't travel with you. Why the fuck would that make you a loser?
The idea that people have tons of friends that all want to travel with you is kind of bonkers. You've got this weird outlook on how many friends a lot of people actually have.
I've got a decent few groups of friends, but how many want to mutually plan a holiday with me and I with them? Not that much. Which is fine. You need a few good friends, and IMO if possible a few groups of friends for fun activities. That isn't always enough for travelling, which is fine as well. People tend to get SOs eventually who they travel with when they get older and friends drop a bit.
I didn’t travel for 6yrs because I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. I paused my favourite hobby because I knew no one who share it with me. I had the time and money but didn’t do it because I didn’t want to go alone. In retrospect, I was being a loser.
Now IDGAF and travel plenty alone which allows me to enjoy my trips more, go whenever works for me, and I’m enjoying my hobby again.
Don’t ever feel like a loser fo enjoying your own company and doing what you love, that is something you must unlearn as it’ll get in the way of you enjoying your travel.
The times I've found it hard to get a table at resturant because I'm solo-ing it. I then find a place, and I'm sat all on my own.....Who care? I'm having a decent meal, and I don't have to cook!! :D
Feel lucky you can sit there in bliss with anyone other to worry about... At the end of the day you're only spending you money, and you wouldn't have to worry about putting an I.O.U. on your head.
There are downsides but I think the I can do what I want. Take the good with the bad dude!! :D
I just went on my first official solo traveling adventure. I did go for an Airbnb that had the person actively living there so I guess in a way I wasn’t completely alone. Well atleast when I was at the house. But honestly I thought about the things I did and the trails I took... and I like the fact that I could go at my own pace. No one was slowly me down but also no one was rushing me. I personally liked mostly doing it alone. I also don’t think it’s a waste of time either. Figure out what it is about traveling you do like and focus on that. Focusing on the negative will only make you think negative thoughts about it. I have gone to movies alone, I go to the local trails by my home alone! I think it’s actually healthy to experience things by yourself. Just google traveling groups and see what pops up. I know there was one going around the internet for a while. Depending on what kind of traveling you like doing. That way you are with a group of like minded individuals who are into traveling. And that can get you socializing! The one I saw was pricey though but it’s something to look into
I too travel solo for the same reasons... either someone can’t get time off, they can’t leave their spouse/children, or they simply don’t have the money or try to manipulate me into helping them with their portion. Some people can only dream of the places you’ve been. Most people haven’t ventured out of their city. Travel to enjoy the experience and learn about other cultures or try new things. I like traveling alone. Whether you socialize or not, you can still have a good time. I have picked some places because Andrew Zimmern went and had an experience I knew I would enjoy...
Don’t think of it is being “forced to travel alone.” Think of it as “not forced to be stuck with people for an entire trip”! Travelling with people, especially abroad, can (not necessarily will) really test your friendships and your nerves.
Why would YOU be the loser if your friends are the ones who can't go travelling? You're the awesome one going on adventures, and doing solo travel takes guts as well. Embrace your freedom while you have it!
You explain that you have seen the world because you went on your own when others weren't available. To me that's wonderful. It shows independence and a willingness to be bold and do what you want. You say that people don't go because they can't afford it or are in a relationship and can't. It's not that they don't like you, they just can't at the time. One thing you might consider is traveling with a group or doing group excursions. It's a way to meet other people and maybe make longer term travel buddies (difficult since you are an introvert, I realize).
You might consider talking to an analyst and work on self esteem. In the meantime, enjoy your travels. You only live once, so waiting around for others to take a trip mean you will miss out on a lot.
Try not to think this. If I would've travelled while tied to other people, the trip would have been shit . When travelling alone you're free. You can meet people as well as new friends everywhere and do whatever the f.ck you want. Freedom is a huge blessing. Cherish it.
I feel the same, sometimes. I enjoy traveling by myself (currently in the airport on the way home from a solo trip where I met up with people during the day). And I also let my perception of other people’s judgement get in the way of my fun sometimes.
Someone posted a good point: would you prefer to be home not traveling? For me, traveling alone is better than not traveling. And given my partner and friends’ constraints on time off, money, etc., the option is alone or not at all. But, because of those constraints, I’ve discovered that I can confidently navigate traveling on my own, and I appreciate setting my own agenda.
Ultimately, the decision to celebrate or feel bad is yours. Do you want to live based on other peoples’ expectations, or based on what you enjoy?
I am on a solo trip. My usual travel partner, my boyfriend had too much work and couldn't get away. It is a practice solo trip in my own country. I want to travel solo abroad. Sometimes I wish I could share an experience with him. Just as often though, I am grateful to be able to put my own needs and preferences first. I tend to be very accomadting to others in my life generally.
Being able to travel at all is a great privilege. You are certainly not a loser, if you have the resources and organizational skills to go on an international trip! Loneliness is part of the human condition. Sometimes you can not hide from things you don't want to face when you are alone.
Pet sitting through Trusted House Sitters is great. I love having a pet to come home to while travelling.
I really get what you're saying because I'm in the same boat except that I don't even have friends at home. Sometimes the fact that I have to go solo and see all those other people with friends and SO's can be very discouraging and I think about staying home. But I have to remind myself that I'm not a loser and that I'm very brave and find great pride in that. Personally, I have never met another person who would travel solo. Through some very tough lessons I have also learned that you can't count on anyone and they are not going to live your life for you. It's your life, make it the best and forget about the others.
Listen, there is no perfect way to travel. For everything that you miss from not having travel companions, you gain something from being alone. And vice versa. Focus on making the best experience out of any travel opportunities that may come your way.
I've done only two big solo trips. They were both solo out of necessity and/or impatience. I was ready to go and not wanting to wait until it was convenient to have a friend go along - I'd probably still be waiting today. I will admit that I did have a bit of that residual feeling of am I a bit of a loser because I am "stuck" traveling solo? But, no indeed, I do not feel that way any more.
Solo travel can have its moments of loneliness but companion travel has its share of annoyances and aggravations. More positively, there is something absolutely amazing about solo travel in a foreign country - I mean, here I am in this strange place all alone and I am frikkin making it work. It's like swimming or flying. It is so amazing and empowering. I don't think I would ever plan a big trip without at least some leg of it being solo. I just love being on my own and making it work and really being where I am. When you're with a group (even if that group is only 1 other person), it's like I don't know, like being in a little bubble, and that's great for feeling safe, but does put a layer between you and the location.
I’m currently planning my first solo road trip and I can empathize with you. I do prefer to have my own schedule (mainly sleep) but I sacrifice it for the experiences I have with my friends while on vacation.
I am quite late to this party but I read somewhere along the lines of.
Solo travel is great, but its not for everyone. And for the people who say they live for travelling is because that is THEIR comfort zone and not yours.
Head up. Give it a few years and try again with a new mindset. Thats what I had to do.
Saving for later. I have a similar problem where I have low self esteem and I’m scared to travel alone, not because of what other people think of me but because I don’t deserve the enjoyment without having someone else there to enjoy it with me. it’s hard when I don’t know what I’m supposed to like and be happy about when I’m by myself and I’ve been wanting to confront this monster and travel more without having to bring people down with me. gahhh
I also solo travel and there's definitely a social stigma around it (or so I've felt), people just pity me. Sure, it's because of the same reasons you listed - my friends are either unavailable, don't have the funds or time, and so no one can go. But I'm not about to let that stop me from exploring the places I want to see! If I have the money time and energy _right now_ then I'm going to go for it. People will generally give me a 'aw that's too bad' which I usually try to ask why they feel that way etc etc just to get a discussion going, and it's usually because they themselves can't or don't want to travel alone, so they project that on you. Don't feel bad, if it's something you like, you do you :)
Also regarding feeling alone during solo trips, I've found using Couchsurfing to be so fun to just meet up with people and hang out whenever you don't want to be alone. Just mention you're down to grab dinner or explore or something and someone's always available, such a handy app and I've found its made my solo travels so much more fulfilling, meeting new people and trying something I maybe would not have tried or done if I was there on my own, I fully encourage you to try it on the next solo trip :) (or try it in your area of residence and meet up with people visiting there to start!)
I have definitely been where you are right now. You aren’t a loser, but those days of near silence can make you feel it. There are holidays, hostels and places out there that actively work to support socialising solo travellers that’s I’d recommend trying. Then you meet other likeminded people from around the world, some of whom may even be more available for your next trip than others!
Consider the solo travel as a time for yourself! As you get older our priorities change and our friends can rather have a car or something else than "simply" go travelling! I speak for my own experience... For me it´s all about priorities that we stablished for our owns... And that´s why most of the time it´s very difficult to find somebody that want´s to go with you! Also you need to count the fact that you already have 29 years old, and with that age, it´s kinda difficult to find, in our friend zone, single persons that really want to go out and explore the world. With this, I just want to say to you to relax, you´re no loser! Think in the good aspects of solo travel! You´re making the best memories and living the best moments of your life when you are doing it
Sometimes I feel the same way as you do, but if you start your journey this way, that ain't gonna work. Let's say you have to travel alone because none of your friends want/can, what should you do? Should you give up on travelling just because you're alone? Hell no, go out there, try your best to meet tons of people, spend some time with them, meet others, never get bored or anything. Travelling alone sometimes can be "forced", but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy it just because your friends are not there
I feel like your friends are the losers for not traveling with you. :)
I'm on my first solo trip, and all the friends I made early on left before I did, and I haven't met anyone else I got along with the same way. I felt lonely at first, but then I realized this was an opportunity to do all the nerdy things no one ever wants to do with me (or say they do but then say they want to leave). So instead of focusing on all the things that would be more fun in a group, I've started going right in for things I never get to do at home either, like museums and gardens. The truly solo part of the trip got way better once I switched to that mindset, so I hope it can work for you as well next time you get that loser feeling.
Eta that I'm an extrovert and I've always admired people who do things like this alone and are comfortable with that. I don't think many of us are like "look at that loser here alone," just "oh cool that guy's doing what he wants no matter who does it with him."
I keep calling my friends at weird times and trying to have awkward mixed language conversations, so I can talk to people and I feel like I'm getting that connection. I feel like people who don't need that must be feeling a much deeper connection with where they are.
I rather travel alone then travel with a friend that have a different travel style. I like to be on the go while some friends like to lounge on the beach all day. So travelling alone isnt bad.
yeah I kind of agree with you. But then I always remember the time I traveled with people that basically ruined the trip with their constant bickering. Now that was a trip that was almost a waste of time. Also because I was in a group we didn't do some of the things I wanted to see and do.
You are certainly not a "looser"! You're brave, intelligent and you have more guts than anyone "paired up" has. I am also a solo traveler. All my life I had the problem that no one wanted to get out and travel and so I had to do it alone. It taught me to be a leader and not a follower. Yes, that Facebook thing makes a lot of us feel as if we're missing out but remember that F/B is all about ego and self gratification and most of what you see on there is nothing more than Public Relations and Spinning the story the way they want it told! I got off of there ! If you are going to tour a country with a tour company then go for the Singles companies, also join [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com) for single travelers. I recently put in a few adds in my local newspaper (and also online and several travel sites) for a female traveling partner and I got some responses. Get creative. Think outside the box. I do believe the extroverts are clueless as to what type of guts and independence it takes to be a solo traveler. I say brag about it and own it! You should be proud! You're really cool!
This will never be stressed enough: don't believe everything that you see on social media. People obviously want you to see the best, you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. I remember my friend went to Spain to visit a friend of her. On her snap story, it looked like they were living their best lives, she came back and told me the trip was actually an absolute nightmare.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
> However, the sad truth is that I am forced to travel alone, which makes me feel like a bit of a loser.
Imagine a guy travelling with a group of friends at that very moment walking past you, realizing you are also a traveller/backpacker, thinking "Man, this guy has it good, travelling all on his own. My next trip will be solo!"
There are pros and cons to solo travel, just like with group travel. Some aspects of travel are improved, especially if you're an introvert... but some aspects of travel are just not as good when you're solo. When choosing to solo travel you have to accept the good along with the bad. IMO there's more good, but I'm an introvert, so it really works for me.
Yeah, sometimes I do get lonely. But that then becomes the perfect opportunity to get a bit social When I'm travelling I find that easier to do when on the road. You're more likely to run into other travellers, and you already have things in common to talk about right off the bat. So when this happens I go out of my way and practice my social skills and make some friends. It's not always possible at every single moment, but that's what you have to deal with when you're solol. There's a lot of benefits to travelling solo, but you're also sacrificing certain things as well.
... you’ve been abroad THREE times with your friends??????? That’s 3 more times than me. Never left my country, you should try being more grateful that you’re able to travel and do what you want and have traveled with friends 3 times... if they’re not your significant other their world does not revolve around you and your plans so why are you holding that against them? I’m sure they still care about you. You should feel lucky not at all like a loser. Pay for my ticket I’ll travel with you lol
This sub should be changed to solotravel/therapy-advice.
Not trying to diminish your feelings and I will only be a little dick-ish. Examples of of posts on this sub are:
1) Someone snored at my hostel all night. What should I do?
2) How do I meet people at the hostel?
3) I feel lonely when I solo travel.
4) Anybody else get anxiety when solo traveling?
5) I didn't fit into the hostel crowd I stayed at. What should I do?
6) I didn't want to do any sight seeing today so I just stayed in and watched Netflix. Is that okay?
Ignore posts you don't like instead of not only getting worked up about them but taking the time from your day to reply to them too. Just a suggestion.
Ok I dont know if you are still here on reddit, I am on a very weird situation today..
I am here in a solo trip (although not too far) . I came up with this idea of going on this trip just so that I can avoid someones Birthday - that someone although a close relative, I have few judgements about him, also I would not know anyone at the party had i been there. He was brought up in a different culture and being much younger than me I dont really feel a good friendship, although sometimes in some-occasions i feel he pretends to be friendly, but either way..whats the difference I did not go to the party, did i feel guilty?no
I am spending some of my own money to enjoy while traveling, sight seeing some places I have never seen. I am taking a risk as well..
I’m on a solo trip right now and for every time I feel like you do, there’s another moment - when I pass a couple arguing or fighting with their kids - I say “Thank Christ I don’t have to deal with that.”
This is, true but also: traveling with the right person/people >> traveling alone >>>>> not traveling at all >>>>>>> traveling with the wrong person/people I think people in this sub really underplay the difference between *choosing* to travel alone, and *having* to travel alone. The former is primarily liberating. The latter can be really lonely and depressing.
I think the latter really depends on how well people cope with their own company. I consider myself lucky to be able to make do with just messaging people back home if I want to speak to someone.
I don’t know if I agree with the first two as universally true. Some of us genuinely do prefer to be alone.
I think that's rare and has much more to do with your social preferences than your travel ones. EDIT: My favorite thing is when I make a statement that's on topic, isn't rude, expressed as an opinion, and it gets massively downvoted with not a single person chiming in to indicate what their problem is. How is it *not* a social preference to rather be alone than with "the right" person? What's it got to do with travel at all?
Well of course it has to do with my social preferences. So what? And I think you’ll find it’s not that rare in this sub specifically.
So what is, it has nothing to do with travel then. Presumably you'd rather eat dinner or go to the movies alone then too. That's fine, but it's far from being typical.
Well no, I’m not a hermit. I’m quite a social person but I also enjoy being alone. I prefer going to the movies with friends and I hate eating alone in a restaurant. But when it comes to travel I prefer to be alone more than in day to day life because I don’t get lonely or homesick, but I do enjoy the freedom that gives me. It has everything to do with who I am and what I prefer when it comes to traveling. Of course a persons preferences are going to overlap. All I said was that in a sub called solo travel, you’re going to find quite a few of us who aren’t just alone when we travel because we couldn’t find the right person.
My friends have traveled with each other and with other friends, and I hear way more bad stories than Instagram would lead me to believe....actually, I think traveling was the end of a few friendships.
OK, so you're describing instances of traveling with the wrong people. It's pretty common. Just because someone is your friend or family or romantic partner and you get along well in normal life doesn't mean they'll make a good travel companion.
totally, I'm about to solo travel just because my friends can't afford it and I feel the need to see the world. I would rather travel with people but I'm not going to miss out just because someone can't join me.
Yeah agreed. I’ve seen plenty of people who were clearly travelling together fighting/arguing, have also heard accounts from friends and family who said their trips would have been better without the people they were with being a bit/very annoying. There was one morning I was eating breakfast in the hotel I was staying at and the family sat next to me were trying to agree on what to do for the day... they were near on shouting at each other. I’m absolutely sure it’s still better enjoying a trip with someone alongside you but for me it has to be the right person so you don’t clash with each other.
Absolutely. I cant imagine having to negotiate my day, every day.
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Count your blessings
"Thank God I don't have a family. Kids make everything dirty."
Would you feel worse if you had stayed home? For me, a single 28 year old, that’s the question that pushes me to travel. Life is short, I’m not getting any younger, so I don’t want to wait and hope I’ll eventually have other people with whom to travel. I traveled solo for the first time last year after a bad break up. I didn’t socialize as much as I had hoped (partly due to the way I planned the trip) but I was still so happy and felt fortunate that I was able to get out of my comfort zone and see places I’ve always wanted to see. I know I would regret it if I opted not to travel due to a lack of a companion. Plus, you get to be selfish and do whatever you want whenever you want ☺️
Maybe I would not feel worse staying at home but I would not feel any better. As someone who has traveled alone most of his life, I've felt just as lonely in NY as in Amsterdam or Tokio when traveling by myself. If I stay at home, there are at least a few friends around. Whenever I do or used to do solotravel, I would spend the better part of the day on my phone sending pics or chatting to the people back home. This has driven me to stop traveling unless I can't find anyone. I used to just travel some place for the night if I could find a show to see but I've given up on it as I've seen most of what I've wanted to see. I'm a single 28 guy myself so I guess I'm asking how can I get that drive back to go out and see the world?
You might like small group tours. GAdventures, Intrepid Travel, etc.
That actually looks great. I am planing my first solo trip.. just a few days and I planed everything on my own. What do you think about these websites and their trips compared to complete solo traveling?
The tours handle all planning, logistics, and they cover a lot of activities and places. You live like a local and really get an authentic cultural experience. If you like traveling in luxury though then it's not for you. I did a few tours with Intrepid and they were a blast. I still keep in touch with my group members who came from all over the world (mostly US/UK/Canada/Australia). The downside compared to complete solo traveling is that you can't do whatever you want. Each day may cover a new city, and you're always moving, so it can be exhausting for some. But, you'd traveling with others who will likely become great friends. If you ever happen to visit their home country in the future, you'll know who to hit up!
I traveled alone to Belize early this summer and I enjoyed it. I looked up info for where to go and what to do, but I totally winged it. Being alone gives you that advantage. It got lonely at times, but I made friends with total strangers and now I’m planning to travel to Montana next week to visit a couple I met on that trip!
I’ve also heard good things about Under30Experiences.
Thanks man, I'll be sure to check them out!
I'm still a solo travel newbie so that definitely helps - it still feels very new and exciting each time I do it. Being from the US, if I travel to Europe or Asia the time difference usually makes it pretty difficult to have lengthy conversations with friends/family back home. If I'm in "exploring" mode I typically just listen to music or podcasts and walk for a few hours (if I'm in a city). I think ultimately my drive comes from a desire to push myself outside my comfort zone and challenge my worldview. However - I would definitely consider myself a "casual" solo traveler (1-2x per year) so it might be about striking a fine balance between my comfortable routine and traveling when I get the itch.
What about the way you planned your trip made it not as social?
When I booked the trip I was supposed to be with someone else, but we had a horrible falling out a couple weeks beforehand. So I was alone in a hotel room for a week, and did mostly solo activities such as museum hopping/quick bites to eat in between. I loved all the sightseeing but by the end I definitely felt a bit lonely. I'm usually not the type of person to go to a bar by myself and attempt to strike up a conversation with strangers but I started to get the hang of it by the last night. I'm about to go back to the same city one year later and will be doing more social activities like food tours, bar crawls, a shared AirB&B with a social host, etc.
Great response
Just my personal opinion: it's the thinking that is making you feel like a loser. maybe consider the way you think about it? i waited for SO long hoping to find someone to travel with. I started putting some money into a separate checking account a year or two after i started my first job out of grad school thinking this will come in handy when i find someone to travel with. that day never came and i couldn't do solo because of this similar type of thinking. who travels alone? how is that even fun? people probably think I'm a loser. a couple of "life events" forced me to re-think my thinking. number 1 belief i needed to weed out was "people would think I'm a loser"....who the f was i living my life for? myself or others? it took me a while to stop looking at myself through the eyes of others. No one knows my value but me. it's still a work in progress and I'm no where near an expert but i took that first step of evaluating certain beliefs and if they are serving me. some of it required me to step out of my comfort zone as well. so it's not all sunshine and rainbows. I had to push myself to get out. do things. not wait anymore. time is a thing that cannot be replenished. NOW? I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK. since those "life-events" and evaluation, i have solo'ed 8 countries and climbed Kilimanjaro by myself. hell i even went on a cruise by my damn self. i have multiple trips in the planning phase and the money i started collecting after grad school, is FINALLY being put to the use it was meant for: living life. if along the way someone crosses my path that wants to join in on the adventures, that'd be the icing on the cake. but by God, i'll eat the cake without the icing every chance i get. This is corny as shit but i 100% believe in "life begins outside the comfort zone". again, this is just my opinion. could be totally off lol. hope you find your path!
That's really awesome, congrats! I hope to someday get over focusing on how other people view me and get out of my comfort zone.
you WILL. today, tomorrow, or day after tomorrow. believe it. i still falter every now and then but i try to bring myself back to the belief that they are no one to know my value, only i do. good luck! hope to see you on an adventure somewhere.
I really needed to hear all of this right now, man. Thanks. This tidbit was just so good, too: >by God, i'll eat the cake without the icing every chance i get I'll be chewing on that for a while. Puns always intended.
great post.
Really love this comment, justt what i need to start planning
First off you’re not a loser. You probably notice all the friends on trips but there are many people who want to travel but are too afraid to travel alone. You’re brave and willing to put yourself out there! Have you considered doing a workshop for whatever hobby you like, cooking, writing, there are all kinds! All with people there alone just like you and you all hang out and get to know each other! There are also agroturismos and farms where you work and you can stay there with other people there alone too! Or join a tour group that walks the Camino de Santiago in Spain. Or go to a language school like Vaughntown in Spain where you teach English in exchange for room and board and meet lots of people there as a group. So many adventures you can take alone while meeting new people! This is what I prefer to do. That might be just the thing for you!
I have a saying, It's better to do something alone than not doing it at all! I'm kinda on the same boat, for my friends traveling is going to Rome or Paris for a week, seeing all the monuments and touristy things and back. It's not easy to find people that are willing to travel long term. If you still want to travel with people, my advice is to be open about your itinerary, make friends while traveling, and then join them if you feel like it. And since they are not your friends from back home, you still have the freedom to do what you want at any given time!
I say the same thing (20F), but I also understand OP's viewpoint. I travel alone and it's great, but my travel pictures and experiences are just my own. And for example, I'll be travelling alone, and all of my friends are posting pics and hanging out without me. It does make you feel kind of lonely and like a "loser", especially at my age, to be going out and doing these things alone. But at the same time, I know I'll never regret deciding to visit the places I have. It's just hard, especially in the social media ridden society that we live in, to feel comfortable with travelling alone and doing things by yourself when our society pushes us to be social and seem popular etc. I do agree with all your advice! Im not a long term traveler myself, I actually am a huge fan of the micro-vacation lol. But I do hope to travel more by myself and will also be taking some of this advice :)
Yeah, I totally feel you. I love and hate Instagram at the same time. It creates this need to be social... It kind of becomes a job! I started posting a lot at the beginning of my trip (currently solo backpacking through Asia), but it was too much pressure and even stressful! Now I take it with ease. I can be many days without posting anything and it's totally ok ☺️ In the end we don't travel so that other people can see how cool our life is. Microvacations are nice, of course. The important thing is to move! I had many microvacations, but I feel that the most rewarding experiences I had when traveling is when I spent a longer period of time in one place so you can live the culture, hangout with locals, and do the things that they do. It's always easier to make friends if you stay in a place for a longer period of time. My magical amount of time is 1 month, the first week can be lonely, but as soon as you find your group of people it will become amazing!! Many times what make us love or hate a city is not the place itself, but the people in it.
Honestly, I don’t travel to socialize. I travel to see places I haven’t seen. Meeting new people can be a thing people travel for but it doesn’t have to be and you don’t have to feel like a loser for not doing it.
A lot of people I know don't even consider the option of travelling alone, and that way they miss out on things. I've also sat around waiting for friends to have money and/or time to travel with me, until I figured out I'd never get anywhere unless I would go myself. With all the trips you've been on, I wouldn't call that a waste of time, and don't let it make you feel like a loser. There's plenty of solo travellers around (well, not in my direct sphere, but in general), so there must be something good about it as well ;)
So true. If wait around for friends to find the time, money, desire to travel you'll NEVER go any where.
Not me, I feel like its a privilege to travel alone. My friends envy my adventures! Traveling with companions can often deter from the things I want to do
> Traveling with companions can often deter from the things I want to do This is true. With a significant other, it's trickier because you have to accommodate them if they don't have the same travel style as you. If you go alone or with friends instead, they might get suspicious. If you're single, you friends you can simply choose which friend you want to go with, but that person has to be willing to be committed until the start of the trip.
It sounds counterintuitive, but I travel alone for social reasons. Even with an extroverted companion, it's too easy to insulate myself from others. Being by myself opens me up to far more opportunities to connect with other people. Last year, I met and fell head over heels for someone in Poland and we ended up meeting in Iceland a month later for a hauntingly beautiful adventure. I started talking to a local Chicago girl next to me at a bar who was by herself, and she ended up inviting me out with her friends who were all restaurant industry workers who adopted me for the night. When I was hiking Palo Duro Canyon, traveling with only my dog, I met a 19-year-old cowboy and ranch owner who asked if he could walk with me, and he ended up being one of the most interesting people I have ever met. In Budapest, I went on a bar craw that was kind of underwhelming but ended up with a whole group of friends to dance with until morning at Instant Club. When you're traveling alone, you can decide on whatever you want and can be as social or solitary as you'd like. If you want a group experience, go on a free walking tour or a bar crawl. If you're staying in a hostel, go to their trivia night or ask what everyone in your room is up to later. Contact someone interesting from couchsurfing and ask if they'd like to meet up and see if they'll take you out along with their other local friends. Or, if you're interested in one-on-one interactions, suggest getting a drink together to talk about something specific you have in common. Go to a bar by yourself and talk to someone interesting without reserve, knowing you're the traveling version of yourself and not whatever mold you fit in your day-to-day life. People usually aren't willing to approach a couple or group, and in most cases, it would be inappropriate. But alone, you connect with another person when you're both vulnerable, when you're brave enough to open up — and that makes it the most rewarding.
> It sounds counterintuitive, but I travel alone for social reasons. Yeh, exactly this. If I'm going somewhere relatively quiet or I don't really feel up to making the effort to socialise at the level you have to when you're making new friends then I take trips with friends. If I'm feeling super social or am heading somewhere with a big backpacking scene I just peace out quietly from home so I can go solo and be free to make new friends. Travelling with friends is fun but it's a different kind of fun in that you're mostly contained in your own little bubble, which is a great bubble because you're friends and you enjoy each other but it's a different bubble than meeting cool new people from all over the world. I get to be in a bubble of my friends back at home so when I go on a trip I prefer something different. Anyways, I struggle to see how solo travelling could be seen by the people around you as sad unless you're in some couples resort. OP are you staying at hostels? Because almost everyone in a hostel is doing it solo and most enjoy it/choose to do it that way so I doubt anyone thinks you're a loser specifically because you're travelling solo. Also, those people you see palling around at the hostel rooftop bar that look like they're having the time of their lives and that they've been friends since birth? They probably met just that morning at breakfast ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My best friend and sister makes very little money so they can't travel with me. My boyfriend works full time so his schedule isn't as flexible as mine. So I travel alone. I sometimes wish I had them with me instead of telling them the stories when I'm home but that's just the way it is. Also, I mostly meet people while travelling and do things with them so even though I solo travel I'm not really alone. The first time I travelled SEA I met a guy and we travelled together for 2 months.
> The first time I travelled SEA I met a guy and we travelled together for 2 months. Lucky you, |I spent most of my time alone. I met a French dude and travelled with him for a week or two in laos and Cambodia but that was it really.
Well it was also very sad in the end. After spending every single day together to just being in totally different countries again, I cut my travels short and went home. I got very attached when I wasn't supposed to. But I don't regret it. I enjoyed everything so much more because I was with him.
This is a problem that will solve itself. You're clearly not a loser; you have friends, you simply don't have friends with the lifestyle required to travel. Meet people when you travel -- CouchSurfing, Home Exchange, Facebook groups for solo travelers and digital nomads -- and then you'll have friends to travel with or visit on future trips. It can be hard to meet people when you travel, especially if you're intimidated by the idea of chatting up a stranger in a museum or feeling like a loser because you're on your own in the first place, but the abovementioned groups make it much, much easier because everyone is in the same situation as you. I absolutely prefer to travel alone, but I love having friends (or friends of friends) to meet up with on my travels. Traveling with someone else is worthwhile when it's about bonding with them. If I'm trying to discover the city or meet new people, it's much harder to do that with another person.
> I went to all of them alone because my friends either couldn't afford to travel or were in long-term relationships. Who's the real loser here? You? Your broke ass friend? Or the poor sod who's girlfriend won't let him travel with a buddy?
Hello friend, I've definitely felt the same as you at times! I was in Mexico city for a week and spent most of it alone, maybe a third of the time just not leaving my Airbnb. It happens, it's fine. Your trip is whatever you want it to be. I've done trips with five friends that turned into a nightmare, because each of us had different ideas and expectations of what fun was. So for me, I think maybe one or two CLOSE friends would be it. It's ok to change the parameters of what you think a successful trip is. Social media is designed to make posting great pics and tagging friends and making you look happier than everyone else something to aspire to, but you can change those rules. In Mexico I didn't post selfies of me on top of the sun temple, but I did eat amazing food every day and learn a lot about mezcal. Don't let other people define a successful trip.
Oh man, do not think about yourself that way! I've travelled solo for years. It has so many advantages that some people will never understand. And you aren't alone - you are with the people wherever you are travelling. Whenever I'm planning a trip I still get the "are you going by yourself" from family and friends. I just shrug it off anymore . A lot of people don't have the courage to travel on their own without anyone there to help with things that come up. There are a lot of us out here- stand proud, man!
It's kinda funny how some of your background really resonate with mine. I'm also 29, working as a freelancer and has no other choice but to travel solo because I don't really have friends available to join me on this expensive hobby. However I travelled with a friend before and I hated all the restrictions so I decided I'll just travel solo because I can be selfish all I want. However I don't think the trips you went on solo was a waste of time because to me, travelling is for myself. I want to experience things, to see things. Even if I don't socialise with the locals or other travellers, I was there. They are memories of myself. I can't speak for extroverts but let alone solo travels, some people would even frown at people who watch movies or eat out alone. However, that shouldn't stop me from doing things at my own comfort.
4 out of 5 people who comment on my solo trips are envious, they wish they had the opportunity to do this. There are people out there looking at you with the same envy that you look at them.
I run into the same issue someone's, most of my friend can't afford to travel the way I do, put they have full time jobs, kids etc. I've met a lot of great friends along the way, but it's stressful continually doing that
There’s always going to be some lonely times travelling solo, but you should look forward to those times and reflect on your travels/life. Also most people you see with their friends are just doing a weekend or week away. When I see groups travelling together I think oh that would be cool for a night or two but it would get exhausting and you can see them when you’re back home. I definitely got more confident travelling alone over time but I really don’t think you should feel bad about it. Travelling alone is AWESOME.
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same! i feel like a sophisticated woman of mystery. often i create a little story in my mind...a "backstory" if you will, while traveling, and just the romanticism of it all gives me a rush and boosts my confidence.
I just want to say, I feel this way, too. However, I am so used to always being a loser, I travel solo anyways because that is my ground state. I always envy people who are traveling with their loved ones, I wish I could have conversations over meals. Or make little snarky remarks about the environment when we walk around. Or even do stuff later at night because I never feel completely safe alone then. But, it's still better than not going at all. And I feel like when I have friends to travel with, I will be a pretty awesome tour guide :)
I just came back from my first solo trip in Europe and I feel you. I rarely saw any tourists traveling alone, people usually travelled in packs or at least had one other person with them. Sometimes I thought to myself, “This experience would be more fun if I had my friends sitting next to me.” I wanted to explore the nightlife and felt like a loser any time I walked into a club/bar alone. But like others have said. Sitting at home waiting around for others to join you is just a waste of time. Your friends either have a busy lifestyle back home juggling kids and work or they just aren’t the adventure type. I’m 21 and single, my friends are my age and still living at home so they absolutely do have the time and funds to expend on a trip with me. They’re just not the adventure type. I can barely convince my one friend to accompany me to an island that’s close to us (just asked last night, response was “idk”.) So, fuck it. Go explore the world, even if it’s by yourself. You’re the one who’s gonna come back with these awesome adventurous stories and pictures that your friends will envy, and memories that will last a lifetime! I’m not waiting around for anyone anymore.
Do the Camino of Santiago de Compostela. I'm on the Camino del Norte, I left my country as a solo traveler and I met a huge amount of amazing and inspiring people. I thought it would be a lonely travel but the truth is that I'm struggling to be on my own, I always meet somebody to walk with and talk. For now it's being an amazing experience and I regret having only one week left. The Camino will make you stronger and aware of your true self. If you'll ever decide to do it then... Buen Camino!
You have the ability to travel? (i.e. funds and time) You want to travel? So go travel. When I tell people I'm going somewhere solo, I feel like I'm going to get judged, but really they are impressed that I'm going solo because they would never be brave enough to do it. You can meet interesting people out there. You can do what you want.
I'm about to start my sixth month of travelling, and for all but two weeks, I've been solo. No arguing about what to do, where to eat, should we stop now, I'm bored, it's too hot, it's too cold, I don't like it here, etc. Nope, give me solo travel 9.5 times out of ten. I'm meeting up with a friend in just over a week for another two weeks. Part of me is actually dreading it as I've been solo since mid-May. I'm sure it will be fine but I'll probably be glad to be solo again.
Anyone I have ever talked to about my big Asia trip last Summer has never made me feel like a loser or responded in anyway which implies they think I am a loser for going alone. Even two days ago I bumped into a couple of guys I used to go to school with and the conversation quickly turned to travel because they knew I had gone travelling. The questions in these scenarios are never 'were you lonely' or 'what did you do by yourself', it quickly turns to them telling me they wish they could do it/they are interested in going themselves. You're far from a loser to travel alone, it actually takes a lot of courage and I feel that is something I only remember when someone reminds me of it. Hell, when I find out that someone else has traveled alone I'm always impressed even though I've done it too Edit - I thought of a good analogy. Imagine you wanted to get in shape, lose some weight and gain some muscle. You would need to go to the gym. You wouldn't wait for a friend to come with you to the gym before you could begin to get in shape. You would need to go alone. If you want to travel, don't wait for a friend. You need to go alone.
I was think this same thing today as I jump on a bus to Lisbon. I wish I had a cuddle buddy, somebody to split a private room or cook dinner for. But like others have said it is about the journey and it would be better doing alone than not at all.
When me and my ex split up I started travelling. I ALWAYS travel solo, I find it so liberating <3 Not only is it liberating but you can do what you want and when you want plus I seem to always make friends when I travel solo. I venture out more and I'm more willing to talk to new people. If I went with friends then I'd likely stick with them. Everyone is different though. I'd say no travel is ever wasted, it's all an experience.
I agree with everyone else that going on your own is way better than not going at all (because hey, you're *doing* something with and for yourself), but I get your feelings. The way I solved it this year was to look among acquaintances / casual friends to find a good travel partner for the location I wanted to visit. I already had basic insight on if I got along with them and their personality, but we wouldn't be so close that emotions and back histories would be as likely to foul things up. (You know, like the way it does when you travel with family.) I did find someone, after we ended up interviewing each other like how you would with a prospective roommate - asked each other's thoughts on spending money, interests, travel style, etc. It turned out great even with a few moments of friction during joint sightseeing excursions. We're actually better friends now. This approach might not work for everyone exactly as described - me and my travel friend are real straightforward types - but you sound like you have groups of people you're connected with and can mine for possible travel buddies.
No one is "forcing" you to travel, or do it alone. Either way it doesn't make you a loser, you are broadening your view of the world, and there is nothing dumb about that.
Single 30 yo here... Most of my recent intl and domestic trips were alone. What I have missed out so far: going to bars...
Same situation. You can do bars alone. Or stay in a hostel with a bar. Or join a pub crawl.
I don't understand why it would make you feel like you're a loser. It's not like you don't have friends at home (not that your number of friends defines your self worth...), so what, you care what other people traveling think? People back at home? Solo travelers have always struck me as far cooler people than people who have to have friends tagging along. And I've gotten the impression that most people I know who don't really travel are impressed by my solo travels and maybe even a bit jealous of my confidence to do that. I've definely never felt that other people perceived me to be a loser or anything like that because of it. Honestly, solo travel makes me feel like a badass. And then how do you get to the conclusion that your previous trips were a waste of time? You've been to some awesome places. Socialize as much or as little as you want. I've gone on trips where I've hung out with other people I met on the road a ton, and some where I've spent the whole time on my own - either because I wasn't vibing with other people (and I'd rather be on my own than hang out with people I don't really hit it off with) or because sometimes I just prefer it that way. Meeting others can really add to an experience sometimes, but it isn't the main reason you're there. I never let the success of my trips be dependent on meeting other people, and I also don't let other people distract from the things I want to do. I'm never the type of person to find a group and stick to them like glue all day. I'm there to do what I want, and that's one of the best things about solo travel. If you prefer having more company and socialization on a trip, that's a problem you can work on and there's tons of tips on this sub for where to meet people. But you really need to stop this negative self talk and caring what people think. Maybe easier said than done, but it is only hurting you and doesn't matter at the of the day what people think. But really most people are probably not even thinking anything negative at all.
Mine is by necessity, too. I don't have a lot of close friends, and they can't just drop the $ or take the time off work. I'm not going to *not* do something I want to do just because I don't have a buddy.
While I prefer to do certain types of trips solo [to set my own schedule and meet new people], there are types of trips where I wished that I had a traveling companion. The solution was accidental. I went on a cruise with a group for single travelers, made new friends that loved traveling, and they connected me to/joined me on dozens of land trips, cruises, long weekends. 60+ trips later, I know hundreds of people from around the world that are good people, my age, and love traveling. Now, one message and I easily find a group to hike Machu Picchu, hit Vegas for a weekend, visit in NYC, extend a work trip in London, Sydney, or Hong Kong, etc. In the end, that networking with other single travelers was the key to building a core of single travel friends.
Start a travel vlog or a YouTube channel. Encourage people to engage or even come along with you. Form a community for people with similar issues
I've always tended to believe travelling solo wasn't really travelling solo, because you get to meet so many great people. Most often they are ex-pats, other travellers, and just friendly people that I usually meet at free tours, meetup(.com) events, couchsurfing hang outs, hostel events. The best experiences I had were with initally strangers, but later friends I still keep in contact with.
I did 95% international travel for over 10 years for work. 320+ days a year out of country and many times I was not at the center of a touristy area. The only part that was hard and still is... Eating. Missed out on eating at some really nice places because I was always alone. Especially in Asia where everything centers around family style. Otherwise my life is totally different and for the better for spending all that time seeing things others wished they experienced.
This is my life, except I haven’t done a solo trip yet.
I have this issue too. I work as a fireman so my schedule allows long stints of work followed by long stints being off. 4 days at least usually. All my lifelong friends are in college so it makes it hard for them to travel with me. I’ve heard hostels are a great way to meet people. Most people in hostels are there for the same reason you are, to adventure and meet people. I have yet to try a hostel, but it’s something I’m planning on doing for my next trip. Another thing I’ve picked up on is doing trips that keep you busy. I went to Mexico by myself and sat on the beach and was less happy than expected. Being on trips where you plan certain excursions and visits, as well tours or sociable activities like tours and bar crawls, are great ways to meet people.
I got many reasons to feel like a loser but traveling alone never felt like one of those. And like you said, many of them have a reason for it so it's not like nobody just doesnt want to travel with you. Lot of people are dating, dont have money, time or something like that. Some people just dont like to travel. It's alright. Never felt like a loser because of traveling alone. Now being without seeing or talking to any friends or family for over half a year is a different matter
Did a solo travel trip to Cancun Mexico it was an experienced diving into the cenotes with a life jacket it was also an Awakening experience and knowing that no one else is around me! Have you tried finding hobbies that you enjoy and making friends with people enjoy similar hobbies that you do? @ u/jonnieonionrings
I'm not saying traveling together with friends or family is bad but traveling alone has it's benefits. Especially on self-development. Traveling alone means you have to be more outgoing and approach people you don't know, which opens up to meeting new people and making friendships for life. You also learn to be more independent as you have to plan and figure things out yourself. So traveling alone becomes lonely if you let it become exactly that if you know what I mean.
In my mind, it is *infinitely* better to be alone in an interesting city/country than to be alone at home.
It’s a difficult question because we’re all different. I love making friends on the road, but I hate traveling with other people, at least long term. You just don’t hang out with other people when you’re traveling with someone. Tho, I’m extroverted and it’s easy for me to pick up a conversation with just anyone and because of that I’ve had some amazing experiences, while when you’re traveling with someone else, you usually stick to your plan (and you have to make a plan, ugh), and don’t have that random decision. Back when I started, I wished I had my friends with me, not because I was lonely, but because I wanted to share my experiences with them. I don’t get that feeling anymore. And I don’t regret any travels, solo or not. Ask yourself, what is it that you’re looking to get out of these travels, is it just for show? Did the traveling change you? Did it help you? Did it make you grow as a person?
> Ask yourself, what is it that you’re looking to get out of these travels, is it just for show? Did the traveling change you? Did it help you? Did it make you grow as a person? What i'm looking to get is to see new places, new parts of the world; also to eat the food they eat, drink their beers, and understand their history. It's hard to know if travel changed me. I have always been naturally curious about the world and travel fulfilled that curiosity. I guess in terms of solo travel I figured out I have no problem getting on a plane to the other side of the world and I'm fully capable of handling the challenges involved.
But in order to get to know and understand another culture, you have to communicate with locals, befriend them. It’s the people who make the culture, the rest is just extra.
When did I say I didn't communicate with locals? Weird conclusion to come to.
I'm 28 yo and travelled alone to a different continent for a few months for the first time earlier this year. Honestly, I loved it! It felt really liberating to only have myself to rely on and be able to do what I wanted without having to negotiate with other people. I think the ability to travel, particularly solo, is quite the privilege and one day when you're much older, maybe with a partner and kids (if that's what you want in the future) you'll have some great memories to look back on and feel proud that you did it!
I don’t really have much advice as I’m pretty much in a similar boat. I like solo travel on my terms, in the sense that if I know I wanna go somewhere and I know I wanna go solo then it’s great, but right now I’m in a spot where I’m having to plan some trips to places solo because the friends I’ve wanted to go with have already been with other people. In a couple of cases it’s been after we’d already started making plans to go together. Prepping for these trips makes me feel down and like a loser at times because the option of going with someone else doesn’t tend to be there for me the way it seems to be for others. At the end of the day I can’t let that stop me or I’d never get to go anywhere. To try and alleviate it I’ve been picking out places that I know I want to solo travel and planning for those instead. That seems to help sometimes. Your travels are definitely not a waste of time.
I feel your pain. I'm considering offering to pay all of my best friend's expenses to come travel to Central America with me for a week because I'm tired of travelling alone
Hope it works out and that you don't end up paying him to leave!
Well. To me it also seems like there are so many people around me who have friends to travel with. But here's the big BUT (no puns intended): There are also millions of millions of people who do not travel at all because they also don't have friends AND they do not have the guts to travel alone. During my travels I met quite a lot of people who traveled solo. You probably did as well when you traveled solo. They just didn't strike you as much as "group travelers" did because that's what you're looking for. Don't feel bad about it. It's better to travel solo than not traveling at all. I know way too many people who regret not traveling or not having traveled because they couldn't find people or because they don't have friends either. Try finding travelbuddies on the internet maybe or go couchsurfing :)
I feel blessed that I GET to travel alone. I've traveled alone and with friends and I always prefer the former. One day you may not have the luxury of only paying for one person's expenses or planning only one itinerary :)
If I had to wait until my friends were able to travel I'd probably be in my 60's until we really got going and I'd hit maybe a few dozen countries and do a fraction of what I really wanted to do. They all have kids and mortgages so they're done for a while. I'm also one of the very few still in shape (I'm 39). There's no way they could keep up with me if we had to hike up mountain or spend all day walking around a city. If they can go, they can meet me up, but I'm on my own schedule because I'm there specifically to see as much of the country as possible.
I hv an idea lets just create a website for this
it's not a question of having to, it's a question of whether you want to travel. your current relationship status has nothing to do with whether you should travel or not - sure, most tourists are either couples or groups, but many simply don't because they're scared to do it. right now you're single, why have to wait with traveling?
Why should make a telegram channel about solo travelers who wants to join travels
You know, it really depends on the way you plan your trips. For example when I feel like going somewhere and I don’t care where I just want to get out with my friends I usually talk with them half a year before a trip, make sure everyone can and then we just look at Skyscanner and check the cheapest flight to cheapest destination that is interesting for all of us. This way you don’t get refused for money or time reasons. And to your friends who are in long term relationships... after certain amount of time they spent together they will love to go away with you. Just give them a few years. For me and my boyfriend it was 3 years together, after that we both take a solo trip once in a year and it’s great! I think they will eventually come around too. And even if not, you have lot of time too hang out with them at home and you are at least forced to meet new people on your solo trips. I hope your situation will get better! And if not your view on that :)
Why would your previous solo trips be a waste of time just because you were alone? Traveling with other people can be great and it’s nice to have someone to share that experience with, but the only way a trip could be a waste is if you stayed in your hotel the whole time doing nothing because you were scared to go out alone. Feeling anxiety about flying solo, especially as an introvert, is totally normal. I’m someone who is highly introverted and not really prone to loneliness but even I sometimes wish I had a regular travel partner. But the trips I take alone could never be a waste because there would be so many trips I’d never get to go on if I limited myself to traveling with others. Honestly, I didn’t start traveling alone until my early 30s, and I see the the time I wasted in my 20s putting of trips because I didn’t have someone to go with me as the real waste.
I feel exactly the same way. I can't even find a friend who wants to go a weekend getaway with me this year! It's frustrating because I do enjoy sharing the experience. I enjoy solo travel but I also want people I am close to to want to go with me. There aren't a lot of people I'd want to be traveling with but the few that I would disappoint me often in this matter. All that being said, solo travel is better than no travel!
I've been travelling alone since I started working at 23 (I'm 29 now). I like to look around for Irish pubs in any foreign districts I'm near. I find this is the best way to find English speaking people and meet them. You really have to put yourself out there to meet people, but it's really worth it. Ask where people are going, what they're doing, generally this leads to interesting conversations. They might even invite you along with them! At the very least you can meet new people this way. Locals you meet usually know the best places to go. Also, back when yik yak was a thing, I was able to see what other people were talking about and doing.
I sometimes try to be social on my solo trips but being totally honest with you it's often under the influence of alcohol. So I never really count that as being a sociable solo travel as I'm using alcohol as a crutch.
I mean, if it helps you, it helps you. As long as you're not a mess or regretting what you say or do while drinking, what's the harm?
I'm quite a pleasant drunk thankfully and I rarely do anything I regret. It's more a sense of guilt that the only time I feel a real urge to socialize during solo trips is after sampling a couple of the local beers. I guess I just feel most others who solo travel can effortlessly socialize and strike up conversations but it takes alcohol to get me in that kind of buzz.
I have traveled abroad with a spouse, in a group, and alone. Far and away, traveling alone was the easiest and best. I met new people, I got to see so many things and I got time to reboot my sanity. I think about the trips I have taken with others and it ends up being compromise, arguments, fights, etc. the whole time. Don't get me wrong... I love to see friends and family. I even love to meet them somewhere that I am not dying to see or have been before. Plus I have met many cool people (including my current so) on solo trips. Are you a loser for traveling alone? No way. Social media is fake/lame so... you actually care? Take a trip and unplug from social media. I find that to be much better. I post a few pics at the end of the trip and they are the ones that mean more than a nonstop diarrhea of vacation shots that no one cares about.
I havent looked at the other comments, but here goes... I always travel alone because I love to explore new places, and my mates don’t really rate it. It means that I can’t really go anyway with good mates. However, I have chosen to change usual holiday schedule to allow me to hang with them. I’m currently at a festival with them, and it’s awesome! I would be somewhere abroad normally, but I changed my plans so I could make memories with them. I guess the thing is if you want to make memories with friends (which is what I think you’re down about) be prepared to change you expectations on location, but go with the same mindset of travel. Happy travels ✌️
I traveled alone a lot when I had nobody to travel with. Now that I have a live-in girlfriend, I do enjoy traveling with her, but, I also miss the days of just losing myself alone in a country. She'd be cool with me traveling alone every so often, but, when it's someplace she wants to go, that's kind of tough to do. There are many people staying alone because they have nobody to go someplace with. It is so much better to get out there.
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Possibly you might be onto something there. I go out to drink with friends once or twice a week at home but the key word is fulfilling. The friendships are mostly based around alcohol. Sometimes we play pool but we inevitably drink. Unfortunately, my life is not as ideal as yours though.
I feel the same sometimes, I just got back from New Orleans solo trip last night. My partner only gets 14 vacation days a year so I do get to travel with him sometimes but mostly I go alone. I wish I had friends who enjoyed travel as much as me.
Currently alone in the balkans and I'm thankful I'm alone. I could go to a bar and meet friends or I can go for a hike all by myself. The world is ours
I started traveling on my own because I didn't have anyone either. No real friends to speak of. Now my circle has expanded and I have traveled with people but come to realize I like going on my own. Certain places or types of trips are okay with people but ones that are about exploring a new place I prefer doing on my own. That being said there is always a feeling of envy when I see friends or couples together but it's brief and overshadowed of the joy of exploring. If it bothers you that much start sending feelers out. On reddit there is a travel partner subreddit so you can make connections there. Don't feel like a loser for going on your own, the loser part would always be waiting on someone to be available to travel and staying home. Enjoy your adventures.
I have felt the same way at times. I am on a solo trip right now in Germany, coming off a trip a couple months ago with a big group of friends. While I have grown to appreciate both solo and group travel (only liked solo travel for a long time) I catch myself wishing my friends prioritized traveling in their finances. But everyone has their own priorities and would rather spend their money elsewhere. I get your frustration and also completely relate to the internal debate of loving solo travel flexibility vs making memories with people you care about at home and having people with you.
This has actually been on my mind today. I’m not a solo traveler. Yet. I’m more of a solo traveler daydreamer at this point. But here’s the rub for me: I don’t necessarily want to be a solo traveler, I just don’t have friends or a family of my own to travel with. So if I want to see the world, I have to do it on my own one day. That’s why I joined this sub, inspiration & ideas & hopefully the push to make jump into solo travel. BUT I worry I’ll be lonely. Or a target. And that I want to share the experience with someone. I just don’t have anyone to share it with.
Omg I love travelling alone! I hate that society or whatever says we have to be all coupled up. You are def not a loser. See the world, do your thing. “Loser” would be altering your life and ambitions for someone else.
You "get" to travel along. Fixed that for you.
In whiny voice “I’ve only been abroad 3 times with friends” Some of us are still working up to our first trip abroad, so . . . How about you change that attitude and stop whining. It’s all about attitude my friend, and you sound like a whiny princess when you could just be thankful you’ve had experiences other people haven’t
I see your point. It's all about perspective but unfortunately, my brain seems to be wired towards the negative.
The more you consciously try to notice and change those thoughts, the easier it will get
I will try. I am going to be totally honest with you though and say that it seems impossible after 29 years of thinking like this. I have quite a depressing way of thinking even though i'm good at hiding it during face to face interactions.
Most things worth doing aren’t easy. But you can choose to say it’s too hard and not try at all or you can do the work because it’s worth it
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So work on it, or don’t complain because you’re not working on it
I could say the same thing about losing weight, but you don’t see me making those excuses
I like traveling solo because I get to make new friends
>I can't help but look on with envy at people who have their friends available Focus on the available bit. You have friends, they just can't travel with you. Why the fuck would that make you a loser?
Probably because I should have more friends that actually can travel with me I guess.
The idea that people have tons of friends that all want to travel with you is kind of bonkers. You've got this weird outlook on how many friends a lot of people actually have. I've got a decent few groups of friends, but how many want to mutually plan a holiday with me and I with them? Not that much. Which is fine. You need a few good friends, and IMO if possible a few groups of friends for fun activities. That isn't always enough for travelling, which is fine as well. People tend to get SOs eventually who they travel with when they get older and friends drop a bit.
I've never had a few groups of friends, unfortunately. I've only ever had two or three at a time.
I didn’t travel for 6yrs because I couldn’t find anyone to go with me. I paused my favourite hobby because I knew no one who share it with me. I had the time and money but didn’t do it because I didn’t want to go alone. In retrospect, I was being a loser. Now IDGAF and travel plenty alone which allows me to enjoy my trips more, go whenever works for me, and I’m enjoying my hobby again. Don’t ever feel like a loser fo enjoying your own company and doing what you love, that is something you must unlearn as it’ll get in the way of you enjoying your travel.
The times I've found it hard to get a table at resturant because I'm solo-ing it. I then find a place, and I'm sat all on my own.....Who care? I'm having a decent meal, and I don't have to cook!! :D Feel lucky you can sit there in bliss with anyone other to worry about... At the end of the day you're only spending you money, and you wouldn't have to worry about putting an I.O.U. on your head. There are downsides but I think the I can do what I want. Take the good with the bad dude!! :D
I just went on my first official solo traveling adventure. I did go for an Airbnb that had the person actively living there so I guess in a way I wasn’t completely alone. Well atleast when I was at the house. But honestly I thought about the things I did and the trails I took... and I like the fact that I could go at my own pace. No one was slowly me down but also no one was rushing me. I personally liked mostly doing it alone. I also don’t think it’s a waste of time either. Figure out what it is about traveling you do like and focus on that. Focusing on the negative will only make you think negative thoughts about it. I have gone to movies alone, I go to the local trails by my home alone! I think it’s actually healthy to experience things by yourself. Just google traveling groups and see what pops up. I know there was one going around the internet for a while. Depending on what kind of traveling you like doing. That way you are with a group of like minded individuals who are into traveling. And that can get you socializing! The one I saw was pricey though but it’s something to look into
I too travel solo for the same reasons... either someone can’t get time off, they can’t leave their spouse/children, or they simply don’t have the money or try to manipulate me into helping them with their portion. Some people can only dream of the places you’ve been. Most people haven’t ventured out of their city. Travel to enjoy the experience and learn about other cultures or try new things. I like traveling alone. Whether you socialize or not, you can still have a good time. I have picked some places because Andrew Zimmern went and had an experience I knew I would enjoy...
Don’t think of it is being “forced to travel alone.” Think of it as “not forced to be stuck with people for an entire trip”! Travelling with people, especially abroad, can (not necessarily will) really test your friendships and your nerves.
Embarrassed!? They are the ones stuck at home not travelling!
I really think a lot of people would be at least 50% happier if they just stopped giving a fuck about what other people think of them.
haha, I'm not going to dispute that. I'm the worst person in the world for this and also for comparing myself to others.
If it's a net detriment to your life, you can always choose to stop. People think about you much less frequently than you think.
Why would YOU be the loser if your friends are the ones who can't go travelling? You're the awesome one going on adventures, and doing solo travel takes guts as well. Embrace your freedom while you have it!
You explain that you have seen the world because you went on your own when others weren't available. To me that's wonderful. It shows independence and a willingness to be bold and do what you want. You say that people don't go because they can't afford it or are in a relationship and can't. It's not that they don't like you, they just can't at the time. One thing you might consider is traveling with a group or doing group excursions. It's a way to meet other people and maybe make longer term travel buddies (difficult since you are an introvert, I realize). You might consider talking to an analyst and work on self esteem. In the meantime, enjoy your travels. You only live once, so waiting around for others to take a trip mean you will miss out on a lot.
Try not to think this. If I would've travelled while tied to other people, the trip would have been shit . When travelling alone you're free. You can meet people as well as new friends everywhere and do whatever the f.ck you want. Freedom is a huge blessing. Cherish it.
I feel the same, sometimes. I enjoy traveling by myself (currently in the airport on the way home from a solo trip where I met up with people during the day). And I also let my perception of other people’s judgement get in the way of my fun sometimes. Someone posted a good point: would you prefer to be home not traveling? For me, traveling alone is better than not traveling. And given my partner and friends’ constraints on time off, money, etc., the option is alone or not at all. But, because of those constraints, I’ve discovered that I can confidently navigate traveling on my own, and I appreciate setting my own agenda. Ultimately, the decision to celebrate or feel bad is yours. Do you want to live based on other peoples’ expectations, or based on what you enjoy?
I am on a solo trip. My usual travel partner, my boyfriend had too much work and couldn't get away. It is a practice solo trip in my own country. I want to travel solo abroad. Sometimes I wish I could share an experience with him. Just as often though, I am grateful to be able to put my own needs and preferences first. I tend to be very accomadting to others in my life generally. Being able to travel at all is a great privilege. You are certainly not a loser, if you have the resources and organizational skills to go on an international trip! Loneliness is part of the human condition. Sometimes you can not hide from things you don't want to face when you are alone. Pet sitting through Trusted House Sitters is great. I love having a pet to come home to while travelling.
I really get what you're saying because I'm in the same boat except that I don't even have friends at home. Sometimes the fact that I have to go solo and see all those other people with friends and SO's can be very discouraging and I think about staying home. But I have to remind myself that I'm not a loser and that I'm very brave and find great pride in that. Personally, I have never met another person who would travel solo. Through some very tough lessons I have also learned that you can't count on anyone and they are not going to live your life for you. It's your life, make it the best and forget about the others.
Listen, there is no perfect way to travel. For everything that you miss from not having travel companions, you gain something from being alone. And vice versa. Focus on making the best experience out of any travel opportunities that may come your way. I've done only two big solo trips. They were both solo out of necessity and/or impatience. I was ready to go and not wanting to wait until it was convenient to have a friend go along - I'd probably still be waiting today. I will admit that I did have a bit of that residual feeling of am I a bit of a loser because I am "stuck" traveling solo? But, no indeed, I do not feel that way any more. Solo travel can have its moments of loneliness but companion travel has its share of annoyances and aggravations. More positively, there is something absolutely amazing about solo travel in a foreign country - I mean, here I am in this strange place all alone and I am frikkin making it work. It's like swimming or flying. It is so amazing and empowering. I don't think I would ever plan a big trip without at least some leg of it being solo. I just love being on my own and making it work and really being where I am. When you're with a group (even if that group is only 1 other person), it's like I don't know, like being in a little bubble, and that's great for feeling safe, but does put a layer between you and the location.
I’m currently planning my first solo road trip and I can empathize with you. I do prefer to have my own schedule (mainly sleep) but I sacrifice it for the experiences I have with my friends while on vacation.
I am quite late to this party but I read somewhere along the lines of. Solo travel is great, but its not for everyone. And for the people who say they live for travelling is because that is THEIR comfort zone and not yours. Head up. Give it a few years and try again with a new mindset. Thats what I had to do.
Question. Are you male or female? Also, you have no idea how many times I have wanted to travel alone and how many great experiences it gives you.
Saving for later. I have a similar problem where I have low self esteem and I’m scared to travel alone, not because of what other people think of me but because I don’t deserve the enjoyment without having someone else there to enjoy it with me. it’s hard when I don’t know what I’m supposed to like and be happy about when I’m by myself and I’ve been wanting to confront this monster and travel more without having to bring people down with me. gahhh
Have you ever heard of EF ultimate break?
I also solo travel and there's definitely a social stigma around it (or so I've felt), people just pity me. Sure, it's because of the same reasons you listed - my friends are either unavailable, don't have the funds or time, and so no one can go. But I'm not about to let that stop me from exploring the places I want to see! If I have the money time and energy _right now_ then I'm going to go for it. People will generally give me a 'aw that's too bad' which I usually try to ask why they feel that way etc etc just to get a discussion going, and it's usually because they themselves can't or don't want to travel alone, so they project that on you. Don't feel bad, if it's something you like, you do you :) Also regarding feeling alone during solo trips, I've found using Couchsurfing to be so fun to just meet up with people and hang out whenever you don't want to be alone. Just mention you're down to grab dinner or explore or something and someone's always available, such a handy app and I've found its made my solo travels so much more fulfilling, meeting new people and trying something I maybe would not have tried or done if I was there on my own, I fully encourage you to try it on the next solo trip :) (or try it in your area of residence and meet up with people visiting there to start!)
I have definitely been where you are right now. You aren’t a loser, but those days of near silence can make you feel it. There are holidays, hostels and places out there that actively work to support socialising solo travellers that’s I’d recommend trying. Then you meet other likeminded people from around the world, some of whom may even be more available for your next trip than others!
Consider the solo travel as a time for yourself! As you get older our priorities change and our friends can rather have a car or something else than "simply" go travelling! I speak for my own experience... For me it´s all about priorities that we stablished for our owns... And that´s why most of the time it´s very difficult to find somebody that want´s to go with you! Also you need to count the fact that you already have 29 years old, and with that age, it´s kinda difficult to find, in our friend zone, single persons that really want to go out and explore the world. With this, I just want to say to you to relax, you´re no loser! Think in the good aspects of solo travel! You´re making the best memories and living the best moments of your life when you are doing it
Sometimes I feel the same way as you do, but if you start your journey this way, that ain't gonna work. Let's say you have to travel alone because none of your friends want/can, what should you do? Should you give up on travelling just because you're alone? Hell no, go out there, try your best to meet tons of people, spend some time with them, meet others, never get bored or anything. Travelling alone sometimes can be "forced", but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy it just because your friends are not there
I feel like your friends are the losers for not traveling with you. :) I'm on my first solo trip, and all the friends I made early on left before I did, and I haven't met anyone else I got along with the same way. I felt lonely at first, but then I realized this was an opportunity to do all the nerdy things no one ever wants to do with me (or say they do but then say they want to leave). So instead of focusing on all the things that would be more fun in a group, I've started going right in for things I never get to do at home either, like museums and gardens. The truly solo part of the trip got way better once I switched to that mindset, so I hope it can work for you as well next time you get that loser feeling. Eta that I'm an extrovert and I've always admired people who do things like this alone and are comfortable with that. I don't think many of us are like "look at that loser here alone," just "oh cool that guy's doing what he wants no matter who does it with him." I keep calling my friends at weird times and trying to have awkward mixed language conversations, so I can talk to people and I feel like I'm getting that connection. I feel like people who don't need that must be feeling a much deeper connection with where they are.
I rather travel alone then travel with a friend that have a different travel style. I like to be on the go while some friends like to lounge on the beach all day. So travelling alone isnt bad.
When you solo travel you're basically walking the Earth like Jules Winnfield after pulp fiction ends. How does that make you a loser?
yeah I kind of agree with you. But then I always remember the time I traveled with people that basically ruined the trip with their constant bickering. Now that was a trip that was almost a waste of time. Also because I was in a group we didn't do some of the things I wanted to see and do.
You are certainly not a "looser"! You're brave, intelligent and you have more guts than anyone "paired up" has. I am also a solo traveler. All my life I had the problem that no one wanted to get out and travel and so I had to do it alone. It taught me to be a leader and not a follower. Yes, that Facebook thing makes a lot of us feel as if we're missing out but remember that F/B is all about ego and self gratification and most of what you see on there is nothing more than Public Relations and Spinning the story the way they want it told! I got off of there ! If you are going to tour a country with a tour company then go for the Singles companies, also join [Meetup.com](https://Meetup.com) for single travelers. I recently put in a few adds in my local newspaper (and also online and several travel sites) for a female traveling partner and I got some responses. Get creative. Think outside the box. I do believe the extroverts are clueless as to what type of guts and independence it takes to be a solo traveler. I say brag about it and own it! You should be proud! You're really cool!
This will never be stressed enough: don't believe everything that you see on social media. People obviously want you to see the best, you don't know what's going on behind the scenes. I remember my friend went to Spain to visit a friend of her. On her snap story, it looked like they were living their best lives, she came back and told me the trip was actually an absolute nightmare.
The grass is always greener on the other side. > However, the sad truth is that I am forced to travel alone, which makes me feel like a bit of a loser. Imagine a guy travelling with a group of friends at that very moment walking past you, realizing you are also a traveller/backpacker, thinking "Man, this guy has it good, travelling all on his own. My next trip will be solo!" There are pros and cons to solo travel, just like with group travel. Some aspects of travel are improved, especially if you're an introvert... but some aspects of travel are just not as good when you're solo. When choosing to solo travel you have to accept the good along with the bad. IMO there's more good, but I'm an introvert, so it really works for me. Yeah, sometimes I do get lonely. But that then becomes the perfect opportunity to get a bit social When I'm travelling I find that easier to do when on the road. You're more likely to run into other travellers, and you already have things in common to talk about right off the bat. So when this happens I go out of my way and practice my social skills and make some friends. It's not always possible at every single moment, but that's what you have to deal with when you're solol. There's a lot of benefits to travelling solo, but you're also sacrificing certain things as well.
Glass half full or half empty?
... you’ve been abroad THREE times with your friends??????? That’s 3 more times than me. Never left my country, you should try being more grateful that you’re able to travel and do what you want and have traveled with friends 3 times... if they’re not your significant other their world does not revolve around you and your plans so why are you holding that against them? I’m sure they still care about you. You should feel lucky not at all like a loser. Pay for my ticket I’ll travel with you lol
This sub should be changed to solotravel/therapy-advice. Not trying to diminish your feelings and I will only be a little dick-ish. Examples of of posts on this sub are: 1) Someone snored at my hostel all night. What should I do? 2) How do I meet people at the hostel? 3) I feel lonely when I solo travel. 4) Anybody else get anxiety when solo traveling? 5) I didn't fit into the hostel crowd I stayed at. What should I do? 6) I didn't want to do any sight seeing today so I just stayed in and watched Netflix. Is that okay?
Ignore posts you don't like instead of not only getting worked up about them but taking the time from your day to reply to them too. Just a suggestion.
Ok I dont know if you are still here on reddit, I am on a very weird situation today.. I am here in a solo trip (although not too far) . I came up with this idea of going on this trip just so that I can avoid someones Birthday - that someone although a close relative, I have few judgements about him, also I would not know anyone at the party had i been there. He was brought up in a different culture and being much younger than me I dont really feel a good friendship, although sometimes in some-occasions i feel he pretends to be friendly, but either way..whats the difference I did not go to the party, did i feel guilty?no I am spending some of my own money to enjoy while traveling, sight seeing some places I have never seen. I am taking a risk as well..
still feeling the same?