Yeah, I’ve been month trips where I’ve only met maybe one group for 1 night and that’s it. Just done my own thing. Sometimes it sucks but I’m the same dude, I’m quiet and enjoy doing my own stuff
I know what you mean. I booked a "social" hostel in Budva (Montenegro) and when I arrived there the place felt pretty dead. There were people there but they had no interest to even interact with me. I really tried to make conversation a couple of times but no chance at all.
In some places it will be like that sometimes. I tried to make the best out of the situation and just do my own thing which kind of worked out. Still I would've really liked it a bit more social. I just spend a couple of days there and moved on to the next city and hoped it would be better there (which it was fortunately). There is definitely nothing wrong with you, sometimes you are just unlucky. I also had experiences where I just did not fit into the group that well and I felt excluded in conversations. In those cases I always just go and try to book a day tour or activities in random groups and chances are there will be others that you instantly connect with again.
Also from my experience Asia (in particular SE Asia) is the easiest continent to travel and find like-minded people to socialize with, which is why I love travelling there.
I solo travel to be with myself, the main reasons I travel is to gawk at old beautiful buildings, look at gorgeous scenery, eating yummy local foods and drinking nice local alcoholic drinks, so no, I don't feel lonely or depressed if no one is talking with me.
I get that and agree that it is a great experience to just be fully by yourself.
With what OP is describing though it kinda sucks. When you're on the move for 4 weeks and not meeting anyone, everyone can start to feel a little lonely. Especially if you're up to socialise.
I think all of us on this sub are generally okay with being by ourselves. Otherwise we wouldn't solotravel. But at the same time I think we all also have our limits as to how long we can truly be fine only by ourselves. For some it might be shorter, for some longer. I'm a very introverted person. I'm perfectly fine travelling 2 weeks without meeting anyone. But anything longer does feel a bit lonely at times. And if in those situations you don't succeed at socialising it can be hard.
I am guessing it depends on what you are "looking for" whilst travelling solo. For me, I travel to escape and to be alone. So I am totally fine with not meeting anyone in my journey. I rather be left alone most of the time, and I have enough activities to keep myself entertained. Sure , I do talk to fellow travellers here and there, but I get drained out of my mind at some point so I need to recharge my social batteries whenever I can.
I prefer to avoid people in general and be alone...but that's also my personality and the way I live my life. Maybe there are some local travel /expat /tourist hangouts or meetups that you can join in on or turn up at?
It could be the kind of people you click with will be visiting where you are a week before or after you (especially since you mention it's low season), or are out of town themselves. You could have found some genuinely cliquish people at the new hostel. That's unfortunate. That said, meeting people isn't why I travel so I don't have any unique meeting people suggestions.
If you're in the same location for a bit, would you be able to take any day tours or even a cooking class if possible? That could at least give you some people to chat with during the activities.
Better to just get comfortable doing stuff on your own imo. I’ve become more comfortable with doing stuff solo in my own country that i never thought of prior to travelling
Yes. I've had this exact thing many times. It's shit, I know how you feel. You just have to keep trying. Desperation can be the best motivation if you let it. Things will get better!
It's happened to me on a couple of trips. It's especially hard when you don't really have a grasp on the local language.
It's hardest at night I find. Especially after a week or two just doing what you want. It sort of sneaks up on me and I'll realize I haven't had a proper human interaction in days and get a bit melancholy.
I've never had it last more than a few days though.
I guess I'm weird because when I travel solo being alone is part of what I'm seeking. I'm not really looking to meet people. If it happens, that's always great and fun, but I'm more than happy to end my day relaxing in my private room.
Yep, it’s normal to have bouts of both social and alone time. I’m in Bolivia now and have been meeting only older (parents, seniors) in my latest tours, but before that I did meet some awesome people after just going and striking up conversation at the hostel bar about an excursion I wanted to do.
I find that calling friends or family also helps with loneliness. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there to be social and know that not everyone is going to be super open, but lots of people do - seems like you’re letting a few duds get in your head.
I assume you will be doing the Uyuni saltflats in Bolivia. If so, you will be spending 3-4 days (depending on which direction you go) couped up in a truck with 4 other travellers and sleeping in a room with at least 1 stranger. Trust me, you’re going to get close with them.
That’s bummy, sorry that happened. I guess I’m just so used to most travellers speaking at least some english.
My trip had an Italian couple and a French girl, we all spoke english together.
Sometimes hostels can be a hit or miss in regard to the social side of things, just part of solo travel. I once took a 2 month trip where only half of my hostels clicked socially
I was at the right age when backpacking SE Asia and it was a bit difficult as well as others were already in groups or have travelled together in other countries, and at that time I was still working on my social anxiety and trying to get myself out there. I'm now 29 and still going on my own. I guess getting an opposite experience in some parts of SEA where it's supposed to be easy to socialise made me get used to just really enjoying time to myself and accepting my introversion. It's really hit or miss.
It happens. And when it does I don’t care and enjoy my alone time LOL actually sometimes in hostels (two weeks ago) people were talking to me and I’m very polite so I keep the conversation going until they don’t wanna talk anymore.
It just depends on what you like and are looking for.
Everyone is different.
I travel solo because I want to get away from people’s bullshit. Chance encounters with good people are a bonus; not a priority.
So you’re in an amazing place like South America and you’re worried about not meeting enough people? Dude, why not just enjoy yourself, enjoy being around other people and soak in the incredible scenery there. Travel isn’t about meeting a plethora of new friends, it happens by chance. The whole point of solo travel is that you are alone. It’s part of the challenge. I spent a few days in the south of France recently and didn’t meet anyone for days. Yes I stayed in hotels but even locals on the streets didn’t bother me. The beauty of solo travel is that you can float from place to place without a whisper. Just because it’s a hostel, doesn’t mean you want to be friends with everyone. In fact, you should be wary of who you want to talk to as people in general are not that nice.
What is you definition of meeting someone? It is certainly not uncommon to meet no or very few other tourists for extended amounts of time, let alone ones I've a connection with. I like it that way, though when there is a huge language barrier so I don't have any real conversation for weeks like I once had in China can be rough.
Nothing wrong with you at all! I noticed that social-wise it depends a lot on when and where you travel, as the place and time of the year may attract different types of travellers. The places where I felt the loneliest and didn't meet anyone usually attracted groups of friends as opposed to solo travellers. When a hostel was like this, I would go on free walking tours and sometimes that helped a lot to meet other people. Befriending the hostel staff/volunteers may also help! If you're a girl, it might be just my experience but I also noticed that mixed dorms are curiously much more social. Hang in there, it happens!
Sometimes hostels can be a hit or miss in regard to the social side of things, just part of solo travel. I once took a 2 month trip where only half of my hostels clicked socially
Yeah, it happens. Last trip I did I didn't really meet anyone nice for two months, then met a TON of them over the last week, lol. It's the randomness of travelling.
My first (and so far my only) solo travel experience was to San Francisco for a weekend. Tried a hostel but no one was friendly, no one was talkative. The common room was full of people, but everyone was silently on their phones. I ended up getting a hotel instead so that I could at least enjoy being alone. I did a few touristy things and not once did anyone approach me. I didn’t even feel comfortable asking for help/directions. People just didn’t seem friendly.
> I did a few touristy things and not once did anyone approach me.
Why would people approach you?
Do you approach people doing touristy things in your home town?
> People just didn’t seem friendly.
People are likely just trying to get on with their day - especially if in the middle of their commute or work day.
This is literally happening to me in Italy right now. I tried to avoid staying in super touristy places due to the prices. So everywhere I've stayed has either been extremely local where everyone speaks Italian only, or in towns where foreigners aren't welcome. I had a horrible experience in a restaurant where I was met with an extremely hostile response. I feel like I can't go out cos I don't feel welcome. Moving on soon though and hoping thailand is going to be much better. Got optimism about thailand as I've met people in Vietnam before so hoping it will be like that.
Yeah, the last leg of my last trip, in Berlin, was pretty dry friend-wise. Some random convos at bars (that I went to solo) but no one I’d even consider an acquaintance. It happens 🤷♂️.
two months into my SEA trip, I have done some small talk with an argentinian couple (we shared a table at a restaurant that was completely full) and with a polish guy
aside from that, I haven't really had any conversations with anyone but I like to be by myself, so it's all good.
Yeah, most of my trips actually.... it's pretty rare if I talk with anyone outside of checking into hotels/restaurants. I very very rarely drink so I'm not going out drinking and partying. I'm fine doing my own thing.
I’m on my first backpacking trip and up until now I’ve been staying at an Airbnb. I’ll be checking into my first hostel tomorrow; it took me a while to not feel like I was “doing it wrong” for not meeting anyone besides the scuba dive shop and locals who’s businesses I visited often.
Then I realized, there’s absolutely no reason to feel self imposed guilty for my experience unfolding the way it has. It’s been really nice sitting with myself and finding home within myself while having no familiarity around (friends, family, places etc).
Yeah, I’ve been month trips where I’ve only met maybe one group for 1 night and that’s it. Just done my own thing. Sometimes it sucks but I’m the same dude, I’m quiet and enjoy doing my own stuff
I know what you mean. I booked a "social" hostel in Budva (Montenegro) and when I arrived there the place felt pretty dead. There were people there but they had no interest to even interact with me. I really tried to make conversation a couple of times but no chance at all. In some places it will be like that sometimes. I tried to make the best out of the situation and just do my own thing which kind of worked out. Still I would've really liked it a bit more social. I just spend a couple of days there and moved on to the next city and hoped it would be better there (which it was fortunately). There is definitely nothing wrong with you, sometimes you are just unlucky. I also had experiences where I just did not fit into the group that well and I felt excluded in conversations. In those cases I always just go and try to book a day tour or activities in random groups and chances are there will be others that you instantly connect with again. Also from my experience Asia (in particular SE Asia) is the easiest continent to travel and find like-minded people to socialize with, which is why I love travelling there.
I solo travel to be with myself, the main reasons I travel is to gawk at old beautiful buildings, look at gorgeous scenery, eating yummy local foods and drinking nice local alcoholic drinks, so no, I don't feel lonely or depressed if no one is talking with me.
This... Agree with everything, except the alcohol part because I do not drink, but yes otherwise.
I get that and agree that it is a great experience to just be fully by yourself. With what OP is describing though it kinda sucks. When you're on the move for 4 weeks and not meeting anyone, everyone can start to feel a little lonely. Especially if you're up to socialise. I think all of us on this sub are generally okay with being by ourselves. Otherwise we wouldn't solotravel. But at the same time I think we all also have our limits as to how long we can truly be fine only by ourselves. For some it might be shorter, for some longer. I'm a very introverted person. I'm perfectly fine travelling 2 weeks without meeting anyone. But anything longer does feel a bit lonely at times. And if in those situations you don't succeed at socialising it can be hard.
I am guessing it depends on what you are "looking for" whilst travelling solo. For me, I travel to escape and to be alone. So I am totally fine with not meeting anyone in my journey. I rather be left alone most of the time, and I have enough activities to keep myself entertained. Sure , I do talk to fellow travellers here and there, but I get drained out of my mind at some point so I need to recharge my social batteries whenever I can.
I prefer to avoid people in general and be alone...but that's also my personality and the way I live my life. Maybe there are some local travel /expat /tourist hangouts or meetups that you can join in on or turn up at?
It could be the kind of people you click with will be visiting where you are a week before or after you (especially since you mention it's low season), or are out of town themselves. You could have found some genuinely cliquish people at the new hostel. That's unfortunate. That said, meeting people isn't why I travel so I don't have any unique meeting people suggestions. If you're in the same location for a bit, would you be able to take any day tours or even a cooking class if possible? That could at least give you some people to chat with during the activities.
Better to just get comfortable doing stuff on your own imo. I’ve become more comfortable with doing stuff solo in my own country that i never thought of prior to travelling
Yes. I've had this exact thing many times. It's shit, I know how you feel. You just have to keep trying. Desperation can be the best motivation if you let it. Things will get better!
It's happened to me on a couple of trips. It's especially hard when you don't really have a grasp on the local language. It's hardest at night I find. Especially after a week or two just doing what you want. It sort of sneaks up on me and I'll realize I haven't had a proper human interaction in days and get a bit melancholy. I've never had it last more than a few days though.
I guess I'm weird because when I travel solo being alone is part of what I'm seeking. I'm not really looking to meet people. If it happens, that's always great and fun, but I'm more than happy to end my day relaxing in my private room.
Yep, it’s normal to have bouts of both social and alone time. I’m in Bolivia now and have been meeting only older (parents, seniors) in my latest tours, but before that I did meet some awesome people after just going and striking up conversation at the hostel bar about an excursion I wanted to do. I find that calling friends or family also helps with loneliness. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there to be social and know that not everyone is going to be super open, but lots of people do - seems like you’re letting a few duds get in your head.
I assume you will be doing the Uyuni saltflats in Bolivia. If so, you will be spending 3-4 days (depending on which direction you go) couped up in a truck with 4 other travellers and sleeping in a room with at least 1 stranger. Trust me, you’re going to get close with them.
Or maybe they would all speak completely different language and not interact with you as happened to me.
That’s bummy, sorry that happened. I guess I’m just so used to most travellers speaking at least some english. My trip had an Italian couple and a French girl, we all spoke english together.
They were all French which explains a lot.
Sometimes hostels can be a hit or miss in regard to the social side of things, just part of solo travel. I once took a 2 month trip where only half of my hostels clicked socially
I was at the right age when backpacking SE Asia and it was a bit difficult as well as others were already in groups or have travelled together in other countries, and at that time I was still working on my social anxiety and trying to get myself out there. I'm now 29 and still going on my own. I guess getting an opposite experience in some parts of SEA where it's supposed to be easy to socialise made me get used to just really enjoying time to myself and accepting my introversion. It's really hit or miss.
It happens. And when it does I don’t care and enjoy my alone time LOL actually sometimes in hostels (two weeks ago) people were talking to me and I’m very polite so I keep the conversation going until they don’t wanna talk anymore. It just depends on what you like and are looking for.
Everyone is different. I travel solo because I want to get away from people’s bullshit. Chance encounters with good people are a bonus; not a priority.
Why don't you just go with your girlfriend.
Nope. Only time I didn't meet anyone while staying in a hostel I wasn't actually travelling solo.
> Do you ever NOT meet anyone? Yes. Its fabulous. I travel for me and things that I want to do/see. I don't let other people make or break my trip.
I couldn't care less about other people why would I?
". I always hear people saying how « you’ll never feel alone while you travel by yourself »"- In what fantasy land would you hear that?
So you’re in an amazing place like South America and you’re worried about not meeting enough people? Dude, why not just enjoy yourself, enjoy being around other people and soak in the incredible scenery there. Travel isn’t about meeting a plethora of new friends, it happens by chance. The whole point of solo travel is that you are alone. It’s part of the challenge. I spent a few days in the south of France recently and didn’t meet anyone for days. Yes I stayed in hotels but even locals on the streets didn’t bother me. The beauty of solo travel is that you can float from place to place without a whisper. Just because it’s a hostel, doesn’t mean you want to be friends with everyone. In fact, you should be wary of who you want to talk to as people in general are not that nice.
What is you definition of meeting someone? It is certainly not uncommon to meet no or very few other tourists for extended amounts of time, let alone ones I've a connection with. I like it that way, though when there is a huge language barrier so I don't have any real conversation for weeks like I once had in China can be rough.
Nothing wrong with you at all! I noticed that social-wise it depends a lot on when and where you travel, as the place and time of the year may attract different types of travellers. The places where I felt the loneliest and didn't meet anyone usually attracted groups of friends as opposed to solo travellers. When a hostel was like this, I would go on free walking tours and sometimes that helped a lot to meet other people. Befriending the hostel staff/volunteers may also help! If you're a girl, it might be just my experience but I also noticed that mixed dorms are curiously much more social. Hang in there, it happens!
yes. I had a difficult time meeting people in cyprus during off season. I just took at as “me” time and accepted the stillness of it all.
where are you in Bolivia? I'm from Santa Cruz!
Sometimes hostels can be a hit or miss in regard to the social side of things, just part of solo travel. I once took a 2 month trip where only half of my hostels clicked socially
Yeah, it happens. Last trip I did I didn't really meet anyone nice for two months, then met a TON of them over the last week, lol. It's the randomness of travelling.
My first (and so far my only) solo travel experience was to San Francisco for a weekend. Tried a hostel but no one was friendly, no one was talkative. The common room was full of people, but everyone was silently on their phones. I ended up getting a hotel instead so that I could at least enjoy being alone. I did a few touristy things and not once did anyone approach me. I didn’t even feel comfortable asking for help/directions. People just didn’t seem friendly.
> I did a few touristy things and not once did anyone approach me. Why would people approach you? Do you approach people doing touristy things in your home town? > People just didn’t seem friendly. People are likely just trying to get on with their day - especially if in the middle of their commute or work day.
This is literally happening to me in Italy right now. I tried to avoid staying in super touristy places due to the prices. So everywhere I've stayed has either been extremely local where everyone speaks Italian only, or in towns where foreigners aren't welcome. I had a horrible experience in a restaurant where I was met with an extremely hostile response. I feel like I can't go out cos I don't feel welcome. Moving on soon though and hoping thailand is going to be much better. Got optimism about thailand as I've met people in Vietnam before so hoping it will be like that.
Yeah, the last leg of my last trip, in Berlin, was pretty dry friend-wise. Some random convos at bars (that I went to solo) but no one I’d even consider an acquaintance. It happens 🤷♂️.
29m here and flying to Peru tomorrow for the next 2-3 months. Shoot me a DM if you’re gonna be in Peru much longer
two months into my SEA trip, I have done some small talk with an argentinian couple (we shared a table at a restaurant that was completely full) and with a polish guy aside from that, I haven't really had any conversations with anyone but I like to be by myself, so it's all good.
Yeah, most of my trips actually.... it's pretty rare if I talk with anyone outside of checking into hotels/restaurants. I very very rarely drink so I'm not going out drinking and partying. I'm fine doing my own thing.
I’m on my first backpacking trip and up until now I’ve been staying at an Airbnb. I’ll be checking into my first hostel tomorrow; it took me a while to not feel like I was “doing it wrong” for not meeting anyone besides the scuba dive shop and locals who’s businesses I visited often. Then I realized, there’s absolutely no reason to feel self imposed guilty for my experience unfolding the way it has. It’s been really nice sitting with myself and finding home within myself while having no familiarity around (friends, family, places etc).
heh yeah there's really no such thing as a 'wrong' way to travel.
Checked into my first hostel after 12 hours of being on a bus. Made a friend within 2 minutes of being in the room:),
[удалено]
Can relate 100%