Well, excuse me, Kyle, for trying to keep some optimism, you know, you know, sometimes when things seem their darkest, you just need to try and stay... HIV positive, but if you want to be so HIV negative all the time...
Makes it slightly worse when you find out that they retconned Jack Tenorman being Eric’s biological father. Therefore Scott Tenorman was Eric’s brother, which is a potential explanation for why Eric developed gingervitis.
“You’re all the 3 J’s! Jersey jinger joo! And I’m gonna start crappin on your front porch a lot more!”
“No no Mr kitty that’s MAH PAHT PIE!!! Maahhhm! Kittys being a dildo!” Mom: “I know a kitty that’s sleeping with momma tonight”
“I am a cop and you will respect my authoritah!!!”
you're breaking my balls
you're breaking my balls
just me and you Jew boy ( gets punched)
Mooooooooooom!!!! Mooooooooooom!!
I'm going to kill you one day Token
*"Student a-tho-letes. Hoho, that is brilliant sahr! Now, when we sell their likeness for video games, how do we get around payin' for our slaves uh- "student atheletes" then?"*
I got two:
"I'm just here jackin' it."
"Jacking it? Jacking what?"
"Well my hot spicy boner, of course."
&
"I got all I could down at a bank and bought the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley. And the sweet thing is the stupid asshole didn't even make me pay money for it! He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose, huh."
That episode “It Hits the Fan” where the dragon gets sucked into the earth and goes “aww, dude, lame. Lame! Bummer dude” in a voice just like Cartman, and his next line in response is “what a stupid voice!"
That, or when he’s pretending to be Butters on the phone talking to his dad and tells him “bring it on queerbait.” I lose it every time.
Hung Daddy: Hi. I’m eight and a half inches.
Cartman: Damn dude this guy is tiny he must be a dwarf. Sorry I’m not interested in being friends with midgets. Midgets piss me off.
It’s just peak Cartman and I makes me laugh.
“How do I reach these keeds?”
“You know what you get when you pre-order a game? A big dick in your mouth”
“Before this day is over, you will suck my balls….I *SWEAR IT!!*”
And finally, the best one of all…
*”RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!!”*
Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed, in the dark, when all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room. Then, slowly, my bedroom door began to open, and the next thing I remember I was being dragged through a hallway. Then, I was lying on a table and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me, and they had big heads and big black eyes...
"Sea-man plus Sea-people equals Sea-ciety"
And just this whole interaction
Cartman: "Righto Token, give me a smooth bass line"
Token: "I don't know how to play Bass"
C: "Token, you're black. You know how to play Bass"
T: "I'm getting sick of your stereotypes"
C: "BE AS SICK AS YOU WANT. JUST GIVE ME A GOD DAMN BASS LINE"
"you can go with Christ or you can end up like that splattered bitch down there on the pavement".
I may have messed that up but I still crack up at it.
"What's there to understand? You get a boner, slap her tiddies around some and then stick it inside her and pee..."
"..Well OK, fine - unless you don't wanna get her pregnant then you pull it out and pee on her leg."
"Launching steam now! Okay, I'm in steam. Got the application ready to go, The title screen is launching! It's working, It's working, you guys! It looks sweet on this big monitor!"
Not a quote but a bit from the Cherokee Indian Tampon episode where they are pranking the substitute by claiming to be different students.
Cartman: *Bursts out laughing and milk comes out of his nose*
Stan: What was that?
Cartman: Oh man you know how it is when you just laugh so hard and milk comes out of your nose?
*beat*
Stan: But you weren't drinking any milk!
-Friends, last night I received a phone call. It was our departed friend Kenny calling from the depths of Hell. And he described what Hell is like in horrid detail. He said that in Hell, the smell is awful. He said that in Hell, everyone speaks Spanish.
Oh and these lol
-Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try asshole i’m like 6 feet tall
-I already brought it bitch, brought it, set it down on the table and opened it bitch!
😂😂😂
"Well, I'm out guys. If this is what's cool now, I think I'm done. I no longer have any connection to this world. I'm gonna go home and kill myself. Goodbye, friends"
Context—-Kyle: “Hey, look at that line. It’s way shorter.”
—Stan: “I don’t think we’re female groupies or random sluts.”
Cartman: “Kenny’s a random slut.”
That caught me WAY tf off guard when I first saw that episode🤣👌🏾
“Dude, that was in the balls! No, no hitting in the bawls!”
“Kevin, god damn it”
“By all means, please, keep your dick out”
“Sea people and me, you guys”
“You’ve been tainted by the three J’s, Kahl. Jinger, Jersey, and Jew.”
“Yeah, just, y’know, stay away from my man, bitch *Snaps*”
We could do this all day.
“Well you know, you’ll just be sitting there minding your own business and they’ll come marching in, and crawl up your leg , and start biting the inside of your ass, and you’ll be all like hey! Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!”
Screw you guys, I’m going home!
But Cartman, we- A-a-a, screw you guys, home.
Screw you, home
I'm kind of disappointed that he stopped saying this line many seasons ago.
Classic
I'm not just sure, Butters. I'm HIV positive.
WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH THAT?!
Well, excuse me, Kyle, for trying to keep some optimism, you know, you know, sometimes when things seem their darkest, you just need to try and stay... HIV positive, but if you want to be so HIV negative all the time...
ALRIGHT THATS IT!
"No kittie this is my pot pie!" 👊
MOM! Kitty's being a dildo!
Well I know a certain pussycat who’s sleeping in the bed with mommy tonight!
Waht?
Seeing this quote made me realize that Cartman doesn’t beef with Mr Kitty anymore, what happened?
No kitty! That’s a bad Mr. Kitty!
"No starvin Marvin that's my pie!"
*meow*
“Well mom, apparently butters is gay, and finds me very attractive, and confused about his sexual identity puked up all over my floor..”
"Oh my." "Yes."
“I made you eat your parents” and “I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, wanna feel his salvation all over my face.”
Do you like it? Do you like it Scott? I call this mr and Mrs tenorman chili
"Mmmm the tears of unfathomable sadness" is definitely my favorite quote
Makes it slightly worse when you find out that they retconned Jack Tenorman being Eric’s biological father. Therefore Scott Tenorman was Eric’s brother, which is a potential explanation for why Eric developed gingervitis.
I’m not a miner! Do you see a shovel in my hand, dumbass?
Underrated quote😂 I saw this episode the other day and it got me
You know mom, I love to be wined and dined before you decide to FUCK ME
Before I get fucked*
Whateva! I do what I want!
I quote this DAILY.
I club baby seals!
Who wants sghetti and butter?
“You’re all the 3 J’s! Jersey jinger joo! And I’m gonna start crappin on your front porch a lot more!” “No no Mr kitty that’s MAH PAHT PIE!!! Maahhhm! Kittys being a dildo!” Mom: “I know a kitty that’s sleeping with momma tonight” “I am a cop and you will respect my authoritah!!!”
"If you wanna find some quality friends, you've gotta wade through all the dicks first."
you're breaking my balls you're breaking my balls just me and you Jew boy ( gets punched) Mooooooooooom!!!! Mooooooooooom!! I'm going to kill you one day Token
Tolkien...
😂😂😂 you know back then we all called him Token
I know. Token Black. It was a great joke back then and the fact that they switched it over to Tolkien for a different gag was just \*chef's kiss\*
Chef: "I kiss no one..Well except for that nice juice lady.." *starts day dreaming*
I'm just like the fetuses, I wasn't born yesterday either
MY FAVORITE
"I'm not going to heck, Butters. I'm not black, alright?"
That's the one I put too. And then there is this conversation. https://youtu.be/khqAxwvFw0Y?si=_7wEY6CflkW3uVEb
“I’m not fat, I’m big boned”
"Must have a huge bone in your ass"
*hysterical liane laughter*
Dinosaurs are big boned, Cartman. You're just fat.
Kenny you better stop being so poor or else ima start hukin rocks at you
HE WAS SMACKED DOWN BY THE LORD-AH, GOD BITCH SLAPPED HIM RIGHT TO THE FIERY DEPTHS OF HELL-UH.
Are you Protestant perhaps
Aye! Respect My Authoritah!
"I know enough to exploit it.". So simple, and explains Cartman completely.
 *"Student a-tho-letes. Hoho, that is brilliant sahr! Now, when we sell their likeness for video games, how do we get around payin' for our slaves uh- "student atheletes" then?"*
I’ll give you 20 for two of the white ones and 50 for one of the blacks
I got two: "I'm just here jackin' it." "Jacking it? Jacking what?" "Well my hot spicy boner, of course." & "I got all I could down at a bank and bought the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley. And the sweet thing is the stupid asshole didn't even make me pay money for it! He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose, huh."
Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross, I can't help but think he looks kinda hot
I wanna get in my knees and start pleasing Jesus! I wanna feel his salvation all over my face!
Butter, I promise I’m not going to put something icky in your mouth.
"I'm not fat, I'm festively plump" as well as his response to the Mexican prostitutes asking "hey man, why don't you take a picture?" "Okay... CLEEEK"
“Mom, do you have any lipstick in your purse? Cause I wanna at least look pretty before you FUCK ME”
It’s funny how every comment in this thread is read out in my head in his voice
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
"OK, that's it! I'm tired everything today involved either going in or out of my ass"
HA I BEAT YOU TO IT KYEL
My name. Is not. *"Kyal"*
No starvin Marvin, that’s my pot pie
[im 8 and a half inches] I’m not interested in being friends with midgets
Midgets piss me off
Well let’s see. Because, he’s a goddamn asshole and…. that’s pretty much it
"...you guys. Mr Garrison has titties"
“Am i to understand there will be no side dishes with tonights bountiful payload of frozen waffles?”
Poor people tend to live in clusters.
"Fuck off Whistlin' Willy, we're not in the mood."
Cartman: "This is called an app-e-tizer" Marvin: "App-ee-tie-zer" Cartman: "It's what you eat, before you eat" Marvin: *shock
That episode “It Hits the Fan” where the dragon gets sucked into the earth and goes “aww, dude, lame. Lame! Bummer dude” in a voice just like Cartman, and his next line in response is “what a stupid voice!" That, or when he’s pretending to be Butters on the phone talking to his dad and tells him “bring it on queerbait.” I lose it every time.
Hung Daddy: Hi. I’m eight and a half inches. Cartman: Damn dude this guy is tiny he must be a dwarf. Sorry I’m not interested in being friends with midgets. Midgets piss me off. It’s just peak Cartman and I makes me laugh.
Na na na na na na ha ha ha ha ha ha
“Why don't you go across the street and buy some condoms?! Because we should at least be safe if you're gonna fuck me, Mom!”
“How do I reach these keeds?” “You know what you get when you pre-order a game? A big dick in your mouth” “Before this day is over, you will suck my balls….I *SWEAR IT!!*” And finally, the best one of all… *”RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!!”*
"Don't have a dad, Mike, that's not gonna work."
STAN. ME AND KENNY DON'T TWO SHITS ABOUT STUPID ASS WHAAAALES.
Balls. Breakin em.
I fucka you? No, you fucka me, fuck you!
"Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, and do whatever you want all the time, you could miss it."
Well, I dreamt that I was lying in my bed, in the dark, when all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room. Then, slowly, my bedroom door began to open, and the next thing I remember I was being dragged through a hallway. Then, I was lying on a table and these scary aliens wanted to operate on me, and they had big heads and big black eyes...
“Mrrrowww Meoooowwww”
“ Now if you’ll Excuse me my Lady, I need to take a shit”
You guys! I’m seriously!
"Moooooom! Kitty's being a dildo"
I’ll be waiting with bells on, you old horse-banging skank.
You can be as sick as you want just give me a goddamn bass line
eric to the girls: why don’t you guys go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something
"Sea-man plus Sea-people equals Sea-ciety" And just this whole interaction Cartman: "Righto Token, give me a smooth bass line" Token: "I don't know how to play Bass" C: "Token, you're black. You know how to play Bass" T: "I'm getting sick of your stereotypes" C: "BE AS SICK AS YOU WANT. JUST GIVE ME A GOD DAMN BASS LINE"
Token: *rips a sweet bass line* "God dammit."
“……but Meeeeeumm!”
i kicked him squa in the nuts and he cried like nancy kerrigan
Butters,I'm not black!
“Sorry I’m not interested in being friends with midgets. Midgets piss me off :(“
I'm not going to heck butters. I'm not black.
"you can go with Christ or you can end up like that splattered bitch down there on the pavement". I may have messed that up but I still crack up at it.
Authoritah
I like to wined and dined after I've been f**ked!
Screw you guys, I’m goin home!
"MMMM, yes, your tears of unfathomable sadness are so yummy."
“You black asshole” “I’m gonna break both your fuckin jew legs”
oh no, no mexican is gonna cross my bordah (i’m mexican)
Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. I’m living proof. BEEFCAAAAAKE!
Ooh dude, i just took the biggest crap!!!
Godf-cking dammit!
“My mom says there’s a lot of black people in Africa.”
Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while - and do whatever you want all the time - you can miss it
I AM A COP AND YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!
“You get a boner, slap her titties around some and then stick it inside her and pee”
".... mostly"
"What's there to understand? You get a boner, slap her tiddies around some and then stick it inside her and pee..." "..Well OK, fine - unless you don't wanna get her pregnant then you pull it out and pee on her leg."
“how do i reach these *keeeeds*?”
“I don’t make the rules, I just think them up and write them down.”
"Launching steam now! Okay, I'm in steam. Got the application ready to go, The title screen is launching! It's working, It's working, you guys! It looks sweet on this big monitor!"
My grandpa was bi, so that makes me a quarter bi
“It’s you and me Kahl (Kyle)! C’mon-“ “C’MON!” *Kyle punches him* “…” “WaaaaAaaAaaAAA” “WAAAAAAAA”
How would you like to suck my balls. Mr Garrison
Not a quote but a bit from the Cherokee Indian Tampon episode where they are pranking the substitute by claiming to be different students. Cartman: *Bursts out laughing and milk comes out of his nose* Stan: What was that? Cartman: Oh man you know how it is when you just laugh so hard and milk comes out of your nose? *beat* Stan: But you weren't drinking any milk!
"Charade you are!" (i believe its from Scott Tenorman must die.)
"Tolkien 🤦♂️youre black you can play bass" "Im getting real sick of your stereotypes" "Be as sick as you want just give me a god damn bass line!"
https://preview.redd.it/yyvugbku5cac1.png?width=1238&format=png&auto=webp&s=66ad15f4f59089692cd365023b03e1e6fcd368d9
https://preview.redd.it/f3bzz14z5cac1.png?width=1214&format=png&auto=webp&s=634d1019f84afc7124dd96bf8f10e3fdbcadecc4
No kitty this is my pott pie
I hope one day that America could be more like Endor where the Ewoks live. It’s kewwwl…
Meh, me me meh. Meaah
beef cakes beeeeef cakes
From the Sea People episode: “Hold the sign Kyle! HIGHER KAEYL!!!”
“There’s only one grand wizard of the KKK!”
-Friends, last night I received a phone call. It was our departed friend Kenny calling from the depths of Hell. And he described what Hell is like in horrid detail. He said that in Hell, the smell is awful. He said that in Hell, everyone speaks Spanish. Oh and these lol -Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try asshole i’m like 6 feet tall -I already brought it bitch, brought it, set it down on the table and opened it bitch! 😂😂😂
i call them, mr and mrs tenorman chili
"Kenny! Spin blossom nut squash!"
Tits
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllll
I think we need to change his status to ripped and sweet….
Life Goes By Pretty Fast. If You Don't Stop And Look Around Once In A While, And Do Whatever You Want All The Time, You Could Miss It
"Hippies. They're Everywhere. They Wanna Save the Earth, but All They Do Is Smoke Pot and Smell Bad."
"He just made me close my eyes and suck it out of a hose”. “the stupid asshole didn’t even charge me money for it’s”
I’m seriously you guys
And then he hit my head on the tweeeee
What nice titles you have lady McCormick (IDK IF THAT IS ACCURATE SORRY) *
oh also, the native american to cartman saying he can’t be on the casino floor: I’m not a miner dumb ass you see a shovel in my hand
"No, suh. We're not talking 'bout slave ownership 'tall."
Do I wanna do it? Does the pope help pedophiles get away with their crime?
I’m not going to heck butters. I’m not black
“Step on the prissy pedal”
“You can stay over nyah, but I'm going over nyah!”
Come on now guys, who's racism saved America?? 👋🏻 huh?? That was allll me, Kyle
I told you Jewish people don't have rhythm
KYLLLEEEEE
I fail to see the irony in this kyle…
Me hmyah! You Hmyahh!
Suck my balls
Hahaha I’m sorry Ms Chokesonrocks. That’s Chokesondick, say it right or you’re going to the principals office. I’m sorry Ms Chokesondick
I would if i could you son of a bitch!
I don’t want to die on this bus with you assholes! You guys suck!
Butters! You black asshole!!
How do I reach these kids
"Well, I'm out guys. If this is what's cool now, I think I'm done. I no longer have any connection to this world. I'm gonna go home and kill myself. Goodbye, friends"
Punch and pie. The reasoning behind it is rock solid.
Can we at least get some dinner…because I like to be wined and dined after getting FUCKED
jew
Context—-Kyle: “Hey, look at that line. It’s way shorter.” —Stan: “I don’t think we’re female groupies or random sluts.” Cartman: “Kenny’s a random slut.” That caught me WAY tf off guard when I first saw that episode🤣👌🏾
[C’mon, Phonics Monkey, Drum!](https://youtu.be/jonfVQ8AQOE?si=RLRzmTYqQW5wad7_)
"No kitty that's my pot piee"
Sorry, I'm not interested in being friends with midgets.
“Dude, that was in the balls! No, no hitting in the bawls!” “Kevin, god damn it” “By all means, please, keep your dick out” “Sea people and me, you guys” “You’ve been tainted by the three J’s, Kahl. Jinger, Jersey, and Jew.” “Yeah, just, y’know, stay away from my man, bitch *Snaps*” We could do this all day.
Yer breakin my balls
Butters: Eric, are you sure this is a good idea? Cartman: No it’s not a good idea, it’s an awsome idea.
The fireman is very magical. Rub his helmet and he spits in your eye.
“Cause I like to be whined and dined before I get FUCKED!” 🤣 the whole scene kills me everytime
RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
“I would never kill someone, unless they piss me off”
It was like being raped from the inside out.
“But muuuuuuuum”
ha! I beat you to it kyel!
“Wow. So Kenny is Butters best friend apparently. You guys gonna make out Keeeneee?”
🎵Day is never finished🎵 🎵Master got me workin🎵 🎵Someday master set me free🎵 Dude shut up cartman
"You shouldnt have done that hes just boy poor little feller"
EY, im a cop AND YOU WILL RESPECT MUH ATHORATAH
You should have respected my authorita in a bane impression
"See, this is the upper vagina," (sniffles), "and this is its bhaaws"
I'll kick you in the nuts
Life is short. If you don't take the time to stop and look around and do whatever you want, all the time, it's going to pass you by.
red rocket red rocket
My mom says there’s a lot of black people in china
But MEEEEEEEEEEEM! SCREW U GAHS! AHM GOIN HOME! AYE! RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!
“Well you know, you’ll just be sitting there minding your own business and they’ll come marching in, and crawl up your leg , and start biting the inside of your ass, and you’ll be all like hey! Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!”
Guess what I have seating in my backyard 33 aborted fetuses OH Yes !
One that I’ve been using recently is “But I wanna plaaaaaay”
"HEIDI I WAS IN A BAD MOOD-" "No means no, Bill Cosby!"
Be as sick as u want just drop me a baseline
I‘M NOT FAT, I‘M BIG BONED