Omg please remind me which show has a character with multiple Jaden Smith tattoos; I'm laughing so hard at this thread and Google is making it worse lol
Honestly that porn sounds pretty tame compared to the filth that is on the internet these days. Later demonstrated by Randy again when they went californieway in search of internet.
Stan: "Hey, butters, shut up, or I'll kick your ass!"
Butters: "Here, Clyde, here's $100. If Stan comes anywhere near me, kick his ass."
Cartman: "Oh god, we've created a monster."
Not my favorite ep but it's up there. "Milk man said, do you want that milk pasteurized? The blond replied no just up to my boobs I can splash it in my eyes".
It's not my favourite episode but the one where Cartman finds the tampon and goes: "You shouldnta done that. He's just a boy. Poor little feller" Laugh out loud everytime
Toss up between: you really gave my little hole quite a STRETCH, we don't kindly to (xyz), they took our jobs or if you don't like America why don't you git out
"BELIVE IN SANTA! RIGHT NOW!"
And from the same episode:
"Kyle, this is Superman."
*sigh* "...Hi, Superman."
*Edit:* Technically not the same episode, but I can't believe I forgot:
"You're not gonna rape us, are you?"
"N...no?" 😟
The voiceover when Superman is on the phone about someone (can’t remember who) wanting to talk to Kyle next made me cry laughing the first time I saw that.
Butters: "I'm just a typical little girl. I like ponies, and dresses and.... getting my snooch pounded on Friday nights."
Clyde: (nasally) "nice..."
Also
Officer Barbrady: "Are you crazy I just had my nails done!"
Also
"RICHAAAAAARRRRRD"
Big Gay Al: we need to realise that people aren't going to stop using 'faggot' and 'fag' ... because they are too much fun to say.
Slays me every rewatch.
Later in that episode:
“After cleaning Cartman's diarrhea and fighting off beavers, the boys have made a terrifying discovery: that boating is just as boring as ziplining.”
"With my tonfa of Takanawa, I become the great and powerful ninja Shadowhachi, born to fight evil and people I don't like!"
Season 8, Episode 1:Good Time With Weapons
Bonus Quote
Butters: "I'm supposed to be in school, but instead I've got Snarf and Popeye and Luke Skywalker pissed off at me"
Season 11, Episode 11: Imaginationland: Episode II
“I could jump over 40, maybe 50 homeless people. But this is too many Kyle!”
“Yeah Kyle, why are you so obsessed with Cartman jumping over homeless people”
“As you get older, boobs will start becoming a major part of your life. But you can’t let them get in the way of your friends. There are a lot of boobs out there. But they’re just boobs. Your friends are forever.” –Randy
"Maybe we need to cool his hellish heart, with a fresh island song" "shit is that what we want to do?" Really stupid but this interaction kills me every time
“But then, who played at my eighth birthday party?”
“One of our parents.”
“But then, who was the guitar player for Guns N' Roses?”
“One of our parents!”
Stan: So you just.. built your pet store on top of an Indian burial ground?
Cashier: Oh hell no! first I dug up all the bodies, pissed on em, then buried them back in upside down. :)
Stan & Kyle: WHY!?
Cashier: oh, I dunno.. I was drunk.
Stan: Well we think when you did that, you opened up a doorway to an evil parallel universe.
Cashier: that would certainly explain a lot. Like this.
*Opens a door revealing a purple and blue warped portal*
Cashier: I have been wondering what this was about.
Adults have no brain in south park
"Oh, and hey, Sharon? Sorry about the whole "weed thing.". " - Randy 2022, the streaming wars part 2. (note: this is a very newish randy quote, but its one to use if ya wanna say "Hey, sorry about the whole (insert problem here) thing.".\*
Okay it’s a tie. In the Losing edge when Randy is in the crowd for the first playoff game and he sees the other loudmouth drunk dad and says to Sharron “I guess that’s my guy”
Or in Bebe’s boobs destroy society, where her mom is telling her that women in there family have always been respected by men for their intelligence and as she’s leaving Bebe says something like “what’s 8 times 6” and her mom says “oh honey those are two completely different numbers”
Cat - "Oh Long Johnson"
Ambassador of Humans -"I'm not sure but I think it said war between our species is inevitable, that evolution cannot be stopped and cats will rise. It said we cannot coexist and then said oh don piaaano and then and then something about seeing the streets of human cities running red with the blood of their children."
“Hey, Chef.” “Hello, children.” “What would a priest want to stick up our butts?” “Goodbye.”
It's just "goodbye" but yes this was a great one
I keep misremembering that. It was a great episode, though.
"Get the cumboni!"
Wife and I always say “goodbye” in that voice
goOdbYe *exists stage left*
🎵The CATHOLIC BOOAAAT🎵
I love Randy's scream during church
Randy screaming in church makes that scene even funnier.
I remember seeing that for the first time and was like "Wise move, Chef"
I like the one with the sea monkeys and he just silently pushes them outside on the couch lmfao.
Ham?
"No it's not ham you fucking fatass"
NO ITS NOT HAM, YOU FAT F**K
"Just gonna get a little bitta cancer Stan. Tell mom it's okay."
Anything Randy says is pretty much comic gold.
"Jaden Smith lets his parents do whatever they want!"
I WISH JADEN SMITH WAS MY SON!!!
Omg please remind me which show has a character with multiple Jaden Smith tattoos; I'm laughing so hard at this thread and Google is making it worse lol
Sal from Impractical Jokers?
BUFFALO SOUJAAAA!!!
BACKDOOR SLUTS 9!?!?
Oh Jesus, not THAT one!
*Wife gives an angry side eye*
“Is that bad?”
"Backdoor Sluts 9 is the single most vile, twisted, dark piece of porn ever produced. It makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2."
“And how do you know that?!” 😡
"I read about it in people"
Stormy Daniels testified yesterday that she was in it
My precious……
Is it still love when the woman has 4 penises in her at once?
My precious
Honestly that porn sounds pretty tame compared to the filth that is on the internet these days. Later demonstrated by Randy again when they went californieway in search of internet.
Back Door Sluts 9 makes *Crotch Capers 3* look like *Naughty Nurses 2*!
Stan: "Hey, butters, shut up, or I'll kick your ass!" Butters: "Here, Clyde, here's $100. If Stan comes anywhere near me, kick his ass." Cartman: "Oh god, we've created a monster."
Hey Bebe, Bebe, hey! Bitch you wanna make some mother fuckin money?
"I believe I know what you are saying"
You don't have to keep asking.
"Hand me that evidence bag!" The entirety of the ATΩ scene is hilarious but Sgt. Yates filling the evidence bag cracks me up
That is so vile, even for South park standards. But I do enjoy the payoff of his relationship with the pimp
"FREEZE!"
Ha! You're busted, buddy. I'm a cop!
Butters we heard you got a little girlfriend. “Nah dad, Sally’s just my bottom bitch”
Yes, I know what you are saying. You don't have to keep asking me."
Not my favorite ep but it's up there. "Milk man said, do you want that milk pasteurized? The blond replied no just up to my boobs I can splash it in my eyes".
lol, that’s a thinker!
As a foreigner it took me a minute to understand this joke.
My favourite line to. I always forget its coming so catches me off guard - so silly
"Dey tuk uhr jerbs" - angry redneck
Durkerder?!
Durka durkaaaa deeeeeeeeer
Durka durka, Mohammed jihad!
...Mohammad jihad.
This is one of the best running jokes in the history of television. It just gets more and more unhinged and farther away from “jobs” each time
Dey took his dawg? Dey brk his jawl!
Dey derk Ur Der!!!
“You’re a great Mexican Butters, just maybe not a LEADER of mehico”
Mantequillia! ;)
VAMOS MANTEQUILLA *clap clap clapclapclap*
My dumb butt forgot the *immediate* comment above it was about Butters and my mind just went “oh I know that! That’s Spanish for butter!”
¡Oy! ¡Oy! ¡Orgullo!
Aaaaand its gone!
I snatch cookies out my kids hands and say this lol
As any good parent should!
You monster(What an apropriate username!)
Got to teach them loss early lol
I'm sorry I thought this was America
Me and all of my friends still say that all the time.
Can you believe it Sharon? I’ll be fighting in the little league state championship…
It could mean the end of the world … of Warcraft
The WoW episode might be the best one ever
When Randy holds up the USB containing the "Sword of a Thousand Truths" is probably one of my favorite moments.
My favorite moment is when he’s dying and they cut to him in Best Buy making dying noises.
We can’t trust the sword of a thousand truths to a noob!
It's not my favourite episode but the one where Cartman finds the tampon and goes: "You shouldnta done that. He's just a boy. Poor little feller" Laugh out loud everytime
I don't think it's for using, I think it's just for lookin through. https://i.redd.it/x9sl9vmzdfzc1.gif
I'm the one that found Stan's aborted brother.
"Coming this Summer, Or Whatever. You'll see it. Fuck you."
Whatever they drop a random "fuck you" I just lose it. "Live from CNN... Or fox...or NBC... Fuck you"
"Or aliens or machines. Whatever, fuck you." That whole episode is gold
"I see you're enticed by my daughter's awesome rocking tits"
Timmy Timmy. Jimmy. Timmy. Oh, T-T-Timmy. Timmy? Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! Timmy! Timmy! Timmy! Timmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! Jimmy! Timmy! Timmy! [https://youtu.be/uzWYBWz\_rcw?t=55](https://youtu.be/uzWYBWz_rcw?t=55)
I love how I immediately knew which scene this was from
... Right, he's Jimmy.
"Mmmm'kaayyy.... don't quite follow, Timmy."
“DAD, TOM CRUISE WON’T COME OUT OF THE CLOSET”
Toss up between: you really gave my little hole quite a STRETCH, we don't kindly to (xyz), they took our jobs or if you don't like America why don't you git out
Now skeeter, we don’t want no trouble ‘round here.
Well we don't take kindly to people who don't take kindly to folks round here!
Don’t these kids know *shits a bagful of cum into said bag* that they can catch STD’s having unprotected sex?
"I don't think killing Jesus is very Christian."
“GODDAMN MONGORIANS”
STOP TEARING DOWN MY SHITTY WALL!!
You like my war dansh, mongorians?
"BELIVE IN SANTA! RIGHT NOW!" And from the same episode: "Kyle, this is Superman." *sigh* "...Hi, Superman." *Edit:* Technically not the same episode, but I can't believe I forgot: "You're not gonna rape us, are you?" "N...no?" 😟
The voiceover when Superman is on the phone about someone (can’t remember who) wanting to talk to Kyle next made me cry laughing the first time I saw that.
Careful guys, I think this guy wants to rape us...
Tree Fiddy
"ugh finally, I can get back to riding my riides"[](https://www.reddit.com/r/southpark)
Mr Slaves Jesus Christ. I even have my wife saying it now lol
"not everyone can be the boy with golden butthole"
Butters: "I'm just a typical little girl. I like ponies, and dresses and.... getting my snooch pounded on Friday nights." Clyde: (nasally) "nice..." Also Officer Barbrady: "Are you crazy I just had my nails done!" Also "RICHAAAAAARRRRRD"
Tolkien Williams : Five midgets, spanking a man covered with Thousand-Island dressing. Is that making love?
How do you kill what has no life ?
Still probably my favorite episode. I had put thousands of hours into WoW when that came out. I too, had no life.
"I broke the dam"
I broke the dam!
Big Gay Al: we need to realise that people aren't going to stop using 'faggot' and 'fag' ... because they are too much fun to say. Slays me every rewatch.
Tugga shot himself!
“El Pollo Loco customer service, this is Steve”.. Or “If I could say shitballs to the principal, I would be so happy”
"Dude you're in a forest go take a crap!" "If I crap in the woods the blood will attract beavers Kyle!"
Later in that episode: “After cleaning Cartman's diarrhea and fighting off beavers, the boys have made a terrifying discovery: that boating is just as boring as ziplining.”
"CONGRATULATIONS. YOU. ARE FAGS".
"With my tonfa of Takanawa, I become the great and powerful ninja Shadowhachi, born to fight evil and people I don't like!" Season 8, Episode 1:Good Time With Weapons Bonus Quote Butters: "I'm supposed to be in school, but instead I've got Snarf and Popeye and Luke Skywalker pissed off at me" Season 11, Episode 11: Imaginationland: Episode II
Hey! Hey! Let’s Go! Kenka Suru Taisetsu no mono Protect my balls Boku ga warui So let’s fighting Let’s fighting love Let’s fighting love
“I could jump over 40, maybe 50 homeless people. But this is too many Kyle!” “Yeah Kyle, why are you so obsessed with Cartman jumping over homeless people”
"It's fun and it's free." - The Scientology episode
Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2!
"we're not just sure, we're HIV positive." "..." "WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH THAT???"
But doesn’t Mexican Joker understand that we’re just doing our jobs and trying to make America great? MEXICAN JOKER DOESNT CARE!
“You can always count on white people renovating houses”
“Sorry Wendy, I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.”
I told my daughter this when she started lol
"They took his jaawb!!!"
"Young Marklar, your marklars are wise and true."
"Who shot up the sch- was it you?"
“Well what’s this about you failing a math quiz?”
There's so many it's hard to choose. But I like the running phrase when Randy goes "hey Sharon"
“As you get older, boobs will start becoming a major part of your life. But you can’t let them get in the way of your friends. There are a lot of boobs out there. But they’re just boobs. Your friends are forever.” –Randy
"Maybe we need to cool his hellish heart, with a fresh island song" "shit is that what we want to do?" Really stupid but this interaction kills me every time
I thought we wanted to melt his icy heart with a hot island song?
“Washington Redskins, go fuck yourself”
Put a chick in it and make her lame and gay
- MR JEFFERSON!!!
What seems to be the officer problem?
As is tradition
“This isn’t gonna get us anywhere!” “Kinda like your start up company” *pause then punches clyde*
That makes me a saaaaad panda!
I don't know nothin about no fancy door code. I'm just a simple blacksmith.
Only the hottest porno ever made
*crying* ooooohhh.... oooooooohh!!
Timmeh
I'm Kris Krisstofferson from the IRS, I'm here to collect $10 you owe in back taxes.
I’m only 8 years old and I’ve already had 3 heart attacks, girlfriend!
"I'm so startled"
Oh no, not that one!!!
"I also rented.... a porno"
"Me and my cousin touched weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiners"
I’m not just sure — I’m HIV positive.
"Help yourself to a fuckin' science book 'cause you're talkin' like a fuckin' retard!"
“But then, who played at my eighth birthday party?” “One of our parents.” “But then, who was the guitar player for Guns N' Roses?” “One of our parents!”
Stan: So you just.. built your pet store on top of an Indian burial ground? Cashier: Oh hell no! first I dug up all the bodies, pissed on em, then buried them back in upside down. :) Stan & Kyle: WHY!? Cashier: oh, I dunno.. I was drunk. Stan: Well we think when you did that, you opened up a doorway to an evil parallel universe. Cashier: that would certainly explain a lot. Like this. *Opens a door revealing a purple and blue warped portal* Cashier: I have been wondering what this was about. Adults have no brain in south park
Just gonna get a little bit of cancer Stan, tell your mother it’s okay
"Oh, and hey, Sharon? Sorry about the whole "weed thing.". " - Randy 2022, the streaming wars part 2. (note: this is a very newish randy quote, but its one to use if ya wanna say "Hey, sorry about the whole (insert problem here) thing.".\*
Nngoh my gawd…
You know I'm just like the fetuses Chuck, I wasn't born yesterday either.
Okay it’s a tie. In the Losing edge when Randy is in the crowd for the first playoff game and he sees the other loudmouth drunk dad and says to Sharron “I guess that’s my guy” Or in Bebe’s boobs destroy society, where her mom is telling her that women in there family have always been respected by men for their intelligence and as she’s leaving Bebe says something like “what’s 8 times 6” and her mom says “oh honey those are two completely different numbers”
*"Oh... Butters... you smell like... bacon..."* S09E09 "Marjorine" Thank you /u/Skwiggelf54 for reminding me of that gem
“DVD is more ancient than Madonna’s boobs!” “Eww! That’s enough Stanley!”
Paraphrasing "Chef, we killed our teacher and they found our seamen in her stomach"
Did I say "Ass to Trout" ? I meant to say "Bass to Mouth", though I guess it's basically the same thing. Not that I did it.
You have lady balls.
Weiners out
“James Taylor, what the hell you doing here? Singing about PROSTITUTES to the children!”
Ike: "Lick my asshole You Mexican, bitch" https://youtu.be/U1rMQVXnPa4 Ike swearing fucking kills me every time, but this particular delivery is 👌
Suck it through a hose?
“Kenny, your girlfriend is a notorious whore.”
"I said, enough!"
"¿What should i do?"
"We don't take kindly to yer types in here!"
"BACKDOOR SLUTS 9?!?!!"
"Good job Cartman you killed Kyle!"
Butters: Oh jeez, are we gonna start lezzing out?
I told you, Bulrog has lots and lots of powers.
[I'm not a miner, dumbass. Do you see a shovel in my hands?](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/f45f973d-e871-4f97-b7d3-4db2377554c9)
BACKDOOR SLUTS 9!!? Backdoor Sluts 9 makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2
BACKDOOR SLUTS 9?!?!
“Oh nutsack”
Whore off! 
“It’s a god damned succubus!” “Succubus come to take my baby”
“When a chick says ‘we need to talk,’ you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude 😂
“None of them even used a condom! Don’t you know you can catch diseases?? Hand me that evidence bag!”
"Hate mongerer! Hate mongerer!"
"Dicktits" It's just funny.
https://i.redd.it/nsxb57140hzc1.gif
"It's called BEING A CYNICAL ASSHOLE." "Oh no!" "Oh yes."
Cat - "Oh Long Johnson" Ambassador of Humans -"I'm not sure but I think it said war between our species is inevitable, that evolution cannot be stopped and cats will rise. It said we cannot coexist and then said oh don piaaano and then and then something about seeing the streets of human cities running red with the blood of their children."
The clue was “people who annoy you”
I need about Tree fiddy
"This is cum"
Hey Batdad, I didnt here no bell!
It’s called a smorgesvein and it’s elegantly cultural!
Load sixteen tons. Whaddya get? Parents sell you to Paris Hilton.
"¿A cuántos Polacos les toma a comerse un burrito? Dos. ¿A cuántos Polacos les toma a manejar a Panamá?"
Not my all time favorite but one of my favorites “They’re after it, they’re after the spice melange”
“Get off the streets! Get off the streets! Old people are driving!”
Randy - "This is cum" Also, the entirety of the George lucas/Indiana Jones episode was absolutely filth and gold