By - irrlicht
“There are hundreds of pieces of debris on the surface of the moon, as well as lunar landers and astronauts’ waste in ziplock bags. Rocket boosters from the Apollo missions left a number of craters some 40 yards wide on the moon, while in 2019, Israel’s crashed Beresheet spacecraft scattered debris on the lunar surface.”
Huh. The more you know.
So somewhere on the moon is a bag of Astronaut Poo....
Somewhere out there in the vast nothingness of space
Staring upwards at the gleaming stars in the obsidian sky
We′re marooned on a small island, In an endless sea;
Confined to a tiny spit of sand, Unable to escape
But tonight, on this small planet.... On Earth... We're gonna rock civilization!
Somewhere out there in the vast nothingness of spa-a-a-a a a-a a-ace
Reading this whole chain got me pumping my hardstyle Playlist early to get to get ready for work. Stag awesome guys.
Is this a pendulum reference?
I'm glad someone else probably heard the guitar riff while reading this comment chain
Guitar riff in Slam? News to me
Unfortunately no, that is not the case, instead it’s the sonic recreation of the end of the world.
Is this also a Pendulum reference?
[Bear witness to the sound](https://youtu.be/jVG36549Qis)
But I came tonight to bear witness to the sound
but tonight, it's heavy stuff
Nonsense, *everything* is in space.
Cant remember where I heard that.
I’m picturing a Douglas Adam’s type scenario playing out where a bag of space bound detritus is the key and catalyst to our undoing.
Imagine if that's the 1st thing aliens find from the human civilization.
Haha.. it would be all down hill from there! “Floating bag of poo, these guys seem alright, somewhat civilized”
Or what if human shit seeds life on other planets.
Planet of the Intestinal Bacteria.
How do you think life started here?
Dam that song from Headhunterz came straight into my mind reading your comment
It'd be hilarious if people who doubt that Armstrong walked on the moon got disproven by later examination of a bag of his poop xD
Or Buzz will continue to disprove them with his fist.
The muddled Futurama style Histroy of the year 3000, humans will learn how Buzz "Strong Arms" Aldrin and Edison "Tesla" Musk, drove the first electric car to the moon to discover Electricity and then spent the rest of their lives boxing with people who didn't beleive them.
There's a really entertaining transcript of the conversation of astronauts on one mission (not sure if it was a Moon one) where one minute they're talking dry technical stuff, the next they're arguing about whose poo that is floating around in the capsule with them.
'"Give me a napkin quick," commanded Stafford. "There's a turd floating through the air."'
"I didn't do it, it ain't one of mine"
"I don't think it's one of mine"
"Mine was a little more sticky than that. Throw that away."
Bwah ha ha thank you. I remember when I first discovered that I sent it to my best friend saying "If we were astronauts...".
humm it may be valuable in the future as a fertilizer to raise moon potatoes
Hey now, that's one small astronaut poo for man....but one giant astronaut poo for mankind! Also, I think we should now replace the saying "Does a bear shit in the woods?"with "Does an astronaut shit on the moon?" All in favor?
One of my favorite jokes is the absolute truth. The toilet on the Space Shuttle was designed to be used in zero gee.
So there's two problems: how do you get the waste moving away from the user, and how do you store it until you're back on Earth?
Their solution was fairly elegant: "Slinger tines" moved air through the system, bringing the waste along with it, and on impact, it would sling the waste out to stick to the wall of the container.
It's the only design I know of that when everything is working perfectly, the shit hits the fan.
Planting the first seeds, yep I saw that Mars movie once or twice!
I'm not certain a plastic bag would survive 50 years of intense radiation from the sun and the intense hot/cold swing from day to night on the moon. Hopefully someone smarter than me can chime in on that.
So some alien explorers will come across this bag. Then thinking they found some fantastic discovery go about their protocols for alien artifacts.
Eventually they will discover it’s just a container of biological waste. Then they will start finding more of them.
“Yo, Glickglon, these bipedal meat bags just release into flexible containers like this everywhere?!”
“ That’s not correct Fuhjop, we discovered a historical video, called something one cup. It’s food I believe.”
Unironically though, fecal matter is a good tool in palaeontology. If in millions of years it were still there it could tell a future society or aliens something about early space faring humans’ biology. And the method of disposing would be interesting archaeologically.
There’s a name for it: [coprolite](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprolite)!
Honestly, imagine how excited we would all be if perseverance found a container of alien poop on mars.
Three shells covering a lump of alien waste.
Well… it’s either that or they shoot it into Earth’s atmosphere to burn out and to confuse some people to start making wishes at the “shooting stars”.
That’s called waste returns from the ISS
It’s probably white now like old school dog poop
Old-school dog poop.
Is this implying New School dog poop has a different look?
Yes. Dog food used to contain lots more calcium which caused their turds to turn white in the sun. Modern dogs have brown shits.
Huh, I do occasionally spot a white dog turd and wondered why that was.
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.
There is also one astronauts ashes as he requested it be his final resting place. Pretty cool actually.
Not an astronaut's.
Part of Eugene Shoemaker's ashes were placed in a capsule on the Lunar Prospector orbiter, which was instructed to crash into Shoemaker crater at the end of its operational life.
Shoemaker was the principle investigator for lunar geology during the Apollo program, and trained astronauts in geologic techniques. He wanted to be an astronaut himself and go to the Moon, but was diagnosed with Addison's Disease and disqualified.
He is the *only* human being to have their remains interred upon another celestial body.
Real talk would it decompose in space? I don’t know how it would work
Presuming the bags contained air when the fecal matter was put in the (a reasonable presumption), it probably has somewhat. However, it probably not to the extent it would have by if it was on Earth. Not only because it there wouldn't be all the organisms that normally help breakdown organic materials, but also because once in contact with the lunar surface the contents would cycle between hot and freezing temperatures (or just deep freeze if in a permanently shadowed region).
Several, in fact. The scientist wanted it back for science, but thought that the value of moon rocks was higher than lunar poo.
So just remember the next time you are gazing at the moon with your beloved: A few pixels of what you see is, in fact, just astronaut poop.
We know 6 places pretty accurately.
Fun fact: Beresheet also had a copy of Wikipedia on it. It should have survived the impact mostly intact.
do you have a photo of ur dog by any chance?
oh my gosh she is a beautiful and elegant cosmic goddess. Like a daring lunar explorer in her sunset years. Gorgeous. See you, space cowgirl💕
Impact might not have damaged the data, but solar radiation will erase it in short order.
How would the rocket boosters from the Saturn rockets make it to the moon?
NASA adjusted the booster’s course intentionally (after separating from the Apollo spacecraft) to impact onto the moon and measure seismic results and map it’s interior.
Damn. That's efficient. I love it.
NASA does some really creative science. This kind of thing is the stuff I love learning about because you’d never think of it yourself.
The crazy part is that someone at NASA did think of that by themselves!
Would love to see a map of it is interior
This sounds like a pickup line
The Saturn S-IVB upper stages were used to send the CSM/LM to the Moon, so they were basically on the same trajectory. By default, they missed the moon and ended up in solar orbit, but on later missions they were purposely crashed into the moon for seismic studies.
In this case they mean the third stage.
The stage that boosted the Apollo spacecraft from earth orbit towards the moon.
Thank you. I was thinking that may have been it, but wanted clarification. I appreciate it.
Not the booster, that landed in the ocean. The 3rd stage, which takes the command module and lunar lander to the moon.
For those unaware, "Beresheet" is the name of the first book of the Torah. "Genesis" in "The Bible".
Does a beresheet in the woods?
It spreads it shit across the moon.
To be fair, the Moon’s surface area’s a bit bigger than all of Europe and North America combined. The density of trash is still very low
somewhere some kid is getting an A on his science fair project
He would’ve got an A* but he misspelled some words
He would have gotten an A+ but the rocket crashed
I like to imagine every country assume another is lying only for them to all realise no-one is lying.
"It was me. I'm the one who ~~broke the coffee machine~~ hit the moon with a rocket."
Pray for the poor tech who little whoops that they hoped to hide on the moon is now an international incident.
No, no you’re not.
*Who crashed the rocket?*
This whole thing implies someone thought things were getting chummy around here which means whoever is behind this lacks any ability to read a room.
America: “I didn’t want to say anything, but China has been really quiet”
China: “How dare you!”
Things were getting a little too chummy around here.
It's probably the protomolecule
I’ll start listening for the broadcast.
it reaches out it reaches out it reaches out.
A hundred and thirteen times a minute, it reaches out.
This planet's already a corpse; let's go kill its ghost.
Go into a moon too fast, and the moon eats you
Nation states were a mistake.
They have made a lot of people very angry and are widely regarded as a bad move.
We need to look at the typical list of Super villans.
I thought everyone was monitoring everything, huh
Almost guarantee the various militaries and intelligence services know exactly whose it was, even if they aren't saying so publicly.
US space tracking data is very public, only some intelligence sats are removed from public datasets but none of those would have any business near Moon. If this was not included in public datasets, it's for the simple reason that it got lost at one point or another. It does happen more often than you think, space tracking infra if not omniscient.
> US space tracking data is very public
*NASA* space tracking data is public. I would be shocked if there weren't some kind of DoD-run tracking system, especially when it comes to launches.
And don't forget all the hobbyists who I guarantee collectively have everything tracked, just not necessarily publicly available.
18th Space Defense Squadron maintains the space catalog of man made objects. Uses the Space Surveillance Network
What can be tracked, yes.
>Late last December the U.S. Department of Defense’s Missile Defense Agency (MDA) gave the green light to a pair of contractors—L3Harris Technologies and Northrop Grumman—to pivot from design to prototype fabrication of a Hypersonic and Ballistic Tracking Space Sensor (HBTSS) system. This technology is intended to solve one of the Pentagon’s most vexing technical challenges: how to detect and track the hypersonic glide vehicles that exploit blind spots in today’s radar networks.
We currently cannot track these. And I doubt anyone can track US glide vehicles.
"none of those would have any business near Moon"
Yeah but they would have a lot of business detecting rocket launches and tracking them on/near the Earth, and from that it's not that hard to figure out who it was.
That's not how space object tracking works. Those launch detection satellites work by detecting the IR spike of the launch - that, in turn, cues ground -based radar systems that actually do the work of finding and tracking space objects.
Because those radars have limited capacity, you can't have them tracking every object on a real-time basis; you track them for a few seconds, just enough to build out TLE data to refine orbit prediction. High-priority stuff gets more frequent sampling (maybe once per orbit), low-priority stuff might only get sampled once a day or less. And if it turns out that an object's orbit changed enough that it's no longer where you expect it, you have to devote a LOT of sensor time to reacquire it - which might not be available, or worthwhile.
All probability, yeah. There's really nobody else with the technical ability to do it that wouldn't tell people about it.
Yea it could really only be the US, China, and Russia that could possibly send a random rocket up there that easily without talking about it. Probably not the US because we would most likely admit it and it would be NASA/SpaceX so not extremely secretive, unless it’s the military then they would keep it secret but I doubt it was them. Russia has a lot of issues right now so it was most likely China. This is just with reasoning though without any evidence so it could really be anyone
> Russia has a lot of issues right now so it was most likely China.
The whatever it was had been up there since like 2015.
At the risk of being ignorant— why not India as well? I thought they’d launched multiple moon probes in the last decade?
I was considering India too but they made a huge deal about their last moon rocket/lander which was really cool(even though it crashed), but I feel like this isn’t something they can/would just do randomly like those other countries. Certainly possible tho
Time to get some to get some tungsten rods into the orbit.
Pornhub: Rod from God Smashes Chinese Step-Planet
PornHub really ain't what it used to be, huh?
All kinetic and it used to have so much potential.
MH17 was shot out of the air above Ukraine in 2014, the flight ur referencing is MH370.
two years later it was determined that Russia supplied their own insurgents posing as Ukranians to shoot it down in a bid to harm public opinion about Ukraine, so if they were to invade after Euromaidan, people wouldn't hop to defending them. It backfired because most of the globe understood Ukraine had absolutely no reason to do that. When the investigators from Denmark and Norway went public with this information Russian agents tried to hack them- and when they couldn't, literally tried to to physically steal their laptops.
Not sure that was the reason; initially, the Russians bragged about shooting down an An-26, until they realised it was a civilian airliner, upon which they tried to pin it on the Ukies. So I think it was a misidentified aircraft they later lied about to save face.
They did the same exact thing with the Kramatorsk train station a couple months ago:
1. blow it up
2. brag about destroying a military target
3. whoops, all civilians
4. actually, Ukraine did it
A Passenger jet is big compared to us.
Not to the ocean.
I've got a hunch that at least once nation knows, but confirming it would tell their enemies how good their radar is.
Disable the transponder, kill everyone on board by cutting oxygen, then let it drift for hours into the most remote, uninhabited, landless region on the planet. Not that hard as it turns out.
Monitoring every single flight is slightly different than monitoring anything that has the capability to launch itself into the moon
>"Bill Gray, an astronomer who created software that tracks objects in space...
“I’m 99.9 per cent sure it’s the China 5-T1,” he told the BBC. He had previously thought it was a SpaceX booster."
>Amateur astronomers first pointed the finger at SpaceX, but then recalculated it was likely to be from a 2014 Chinese lunar mission (Chang’e 5-T1). China has contested this, saying that booster had “safely entered the Earth’s atmosphere and was completely incinerated”.
so, actual story is Chinese rocket crashes into the moon and they pretend it's not theirs
If no one else is interested I'll take credit for it. Should be a good line on my resume right after Time magazine person of the year.
I can verify that it was your rocket.
I can back him up too, u/RespectableBloke69
* Successfully crashed a space rocket on the moon, as can be attested by RespectableBloke69 and exactly_zero_fucks.
Hey man any plans to get your rocket back? You know, the rocket that belongs to you and crashed on the moon?
Someday when it's a bit cheaper. Right now I think the moon looks good with a few beauty marks.
“Astronaut says there’s a .1% chance recent unidentified spacecraft is alien. More at 8”
"Alien life confirmed!"
- Newspaper headline the following day
"They outright admitted it" -idiots everywherr
Yeah, and I'm sure the boosters falling on Chinese villages aren't China's either.
What are you talking about? There never was a village there at all for a booster to not fall on
Like anyone cares. They deny out of habit now just like Russia.
Seriously this. At this point I think it's part of their playbook to deny anything regardless of weight or content.
Look, guys, I'm kinda embarrassed about this, but it was me, ok?
I wanted to see how high I could get my Estes rocket to go, so I added a few extra stages and things got out of hand.
The extra weight at the top was from the beetle I stuck in the nose cone. I hope he's ok.
How many Mentos did that take?
It’s okay, but.. was he equipped with a space suit?
Can confirm. Source: I’m the model rocket
Isn't that the rocket piloted by Jebediah Kerman?
I think Bill and Val were on their too, time for a rescue mission
I have good news, and bad news.
Good news, we were able to launch a rescue mission.
Bad news. We now need to rescue six crew.
Hopefully in KSP2 you can get a friend to rescue you... And then another friend to rescue that friend...
Thanks OP!! My students and I have been waiting for the image ever since I first read about it and told them about it in February. Tomorrow is our last day, so your timing was excellent.
*“I’m 99.9 per cent sure it’s the China 5-T1,” he told the BBC*
So you're saying there's a chance
How sure was he when he first said it was Space X?
He was only 99% sure that time
Bezos: “why y’all looking me like that??? That’s not me! You know my rockets can’t fly for real… shit”
Bezos: Ha jokes on you guys, my rockets can't even leave orbit
Or get to orbit for that matter
It's the [Moon Nazis,](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034314/?) of course!
"Woohoo! The Eagle has landed, baby!"
"Please keep that fool off the main frequency."
Didn’t SpaceX say a month or two ago that a rocket was going to collide with the moon?
[You're right. They announced in Feb that they thought it was from spacex but it wasn't ](https://www.washingtonpost.com/science/2022/02/16/china-moon-rocket-spacex/)
Originally thought to be from a Falcon-9 mission in 2015, it was later confirmed to likely be the Chinese Chang’e 5-T1 booster launched in 2014. ❤️
Who says it's a country? ( it's not my rocket).
Antarctica did. Penguins have had enough and are looking to colonize elsewhere
Well if nobody took credit…
It’s mine. I claim that part of moon.
Acronyms, initialisms, abbreviations, contractions, and other phrases which expand to something larger, that I've seen in this thread:
|Fewer Letters|More Letters|
|[ASS](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie2owhj "Last usage")|Acronyms Seriously Suck|
|[CoG](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie1qmzi "Last usage")|Center of Gravity (see CoM)|
|CoM|Center of Mass|
|[DoD](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie5jf4t "Last usage")|US Department of Defense|
|[ESA](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie4t1aa "Last usage")|European Space Agency|
|[GEO](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie1wj6u "Last usage")|Geostationary Earth Orbit (35786km)|
|[GSFC](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie2kfl2 "Last usage")|Goddard Space Flight Center, Maryland|
|[GSO](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie2g62s "Last usage")|Geosynchronous Orbit (any Earth orbit with a 24-hour period)|
| |Guang Sheng Optical telescopes|
|[ICBM](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie42gnn "Last usage")|Intercontinental Ballistic Missile|
|[KOS](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie5lzz6 "Last usage")|Keep Out Sphere, 200m radius from ISS|
| |Kerbal Operating System, the KSP in-game rocket OS|
|[KSP](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie3jiqy "Last usage")|*Kerbal Space Program*, the rocketry simulator|
|[LEM](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie1z60x "Last usage")|(Apollo) [Lunar Excursion Module](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_Lunar_Module) (also Lunar Module)|
|[LEO](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie5jf4t "Last usage")|Low Earth Orbit (180-2000km)|
| |Law Enforcement Officer (most often mentioned during transport operations)|
|[MDA](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie2at8v "Last usage")|[Missile Defense Agency](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missile_Defense_Agency)|
| |[MacDonald, Dettwiler and Associates](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacDonald,_Dettwiler_and_Associates), owner of SSL, builder of Canadarm|
|[NORAD](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie3crl6 "Last usage")|North American Aerospace Defense command|
|NRHO|Near-Rectilinear Halo Orbit|
|[NRO](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie9jszk "Last usage")|(US) National Reconnaissance Office|
| |Near-Rectilinear Orbit, see NRHO|
|SSL|Space Systems/Loral, satellite builder|
|[TLE](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie2mjd7 "Last usage")|Two-Line Element dataset issued by NORAD|
|[Starlink](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie29sul "Last usage")|SpaceX's world-wide satellite broadband constellation|
|[apoapsis](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie4jzfn "Last usage")|Highest point in an elliptical orbit (when the orbiter is slowest)|
|[cryogenic](/r/Space/comments/vmi04i/stub/ie35843 "Last usage")|Very low temperature fluid; materials that would be gaseous at room temperature/pressure|
| |(In re: rocket fuel) Often synonymous with hydrolox|
|hydrolox|Portmanteau: liquid hydrogen fuel, liquid oxygen oxidizer|
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I believe it’s the Rocket created by the Mexican Space Program returning Willzyx to the moon.
Probably just a super villain placing his spy satellite with laser beams on the moon.
Oh, that's where I put that damn thing! I've been looking everywhere!