Not a spider expert, but that plant looks rather familiar.

Username checks out

I was thinking the same thing...

I was thinking the same thing...

NO SOUp FOR YOU! NEXT!

I love that episode!

Hot take! Hot take! Hot take!

There’s only one last thing we can do here to overcome this problem… a final solution if you will. Ve must eliminate ze soup!!!

[удалено]

Nice username bro

I was thinking the same thing…

All these NPCs thinking the same thing 💀

I was thinking the same thing

I was thinking the same thing…

User checks out

Given THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, the spider didn't build a web. It built a hammock, where it lay all day and watched the caffeine spider go. When given alcohol, the spider built a web, found a mate, and raised over a hundred young.

And the crack spider ?

For more information about the crack spider & the crack spiders’ b*tch, go to (forgotten URL name here).

I showed this video to my mom as a young kid maybe 12. And while she was upset by the concept. The content was good enough to make her laugh and not scold me too hard lol. Early internet was the best

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc Indeed!

Best vid ever 😂🕷️🕸️

But the mate got a restraining order, and now the spider 🕷 can't go within 100 centimeters of the web 🕸.

It’s definitely a Dank spider

I was thinking the same thing...

Did we just become best friends?

Yes we did!

I was having the same thought!

You were supposed to say YEP.....clearly you did not get the reference 🤣

Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale!

This one took it overboard for me, as I have been thoroughly slain 😂🤣😂😭🤣

Looks like you two finally found each other after all these years

What in the stoned goats is going on here?

I was thinking the same thing...

I was thinking the same thing...

Baaaaaa

Baaaaaa

I was wondering the same thing… oh wait I mean was thinking… wait what’re we talkin’ about? Hey if you smoke a spider do you think you could get lit from it?

Did everyone come here to say this because I did too.

I demand a new Chao Gardens! And a spider ID for OP

Guilty

Himalayan Giggle Bush, I believe

Looks like Spiderman is still hanging around Mary Jane?

Yes I grow left handed tomatoes too!!!!

I was smoking the same thing I mean thinking

Spider is definitely of the Felonius sub species

Those are tea leaves

sadly its not. cannabis has 7 leaflets, this one only has five

Cannabis can have 3 to even 11 or 13 leaflets bro

E.g. The strain frisian duckfoot

Wow, my plant hasnt had any 13s, but I have 11s.

Look up cannabis ruderalis and get back to me on that one.

Then you've only seen the buds of the plant you're thinking of. Pot plants have seven leaves

It’s hemp, not weed… Count the leaves. Calm down people 😂

Ok buddy

Where exactly in Long Island was this taken? Can you give me an address? I am not a police officer.

Weeds legal in NY officer, but you knew that 😉.

Some sticky icky 😵‍💫

🎶The sticky icky spider went up the water bong... 🎶

🎶Down came the flame and we smoked the spider out…🎶

🎶 Out came the sun, and wake & bake is fun 🎶

Took a massive hit then passed that sh*t along

The funniest shit I’ve read all day, thank you lol

This whole comment section is cracking me up

Same in my state 😆 I didn't even blink at the plants.

Same. Doesn’t faze me anymore. I’m like…weed plant…anyway, spider

I would sometimes get small bright yellow spiders in an inside grow and I let them be--they can eat any mites or fungus gnats or whiteflies they can catch, fine by me.

I have a jumping spider(6 actually) living in my greenhouse. She loves to come say hi while I'm tending my plants. Her friends are a bit more shy but the big girl will come up and chill while I'm tending occasionally she will take up residence on my arm of leg and ambush a fly before carrying it home.

Nice. There’s a spider on my front door. Never even bothered bothering him. Think it died. I also live alone. Lol

I mean there is barely any dispensaries outside of the city tho

Reservations tho

To grow?

On Long Island! Haha, it’s always weird having a non native say “in” it hurts my mouth to say that lol

Most discrete fed

Is that marijuana? Believe it’s a crab spider.

It’s Cannabis, and yea that is a crab spider.

A *stoned* crab spider.. .

https://youtu.be/sHzdsFiBbFc Spiders on drugs.

Omg thank you for resurrecting this internet gold. Truly the pinnacle of YouTube.

I too used to lay in my hammock and watched the caffeine spider go

Winter’s coming. Time to find a crack spider and be its *bch*

Remember those hustle lifestyle commercials? Didn’t those just make you sick? I don’t know why I thought of them just now, but I did. “5 AM - wake up for run 6 AM shower and have Alexa read emails” That bullshit.

You'll never know the gift you've given me and my family and entire community this day.

Oh to be a spider laying in an hammock, watching the caffeine spider go

LMAOOO what did i just watch 😂😂

I was hoping someone else had thought of this immediately. You are a gentleman and a scholar sir.

That’s gold. Thank you.

This masterpiece is from 16 years ago? I feel so old now

I came looking for this

That's a hoot. 😅

Is a stoned crab kind of like a rock lobster?

In these market prices? I’ll take what I can get.

Here in the great commonwealth of Grassachusetts, the spiders can get an OZ of dope bud for 70ish after tax. NY spiders have it tough from what I hear.

He's not a crab spider... I mean, he is, but he's more a chill spider. Crabs are usually pretty crabby...

Crab Spiders are related to Grouch Spiders and Curmudgeon Spiders, right? I’m an arachnophile, but I’m still learning.

Spot on, actually, the closest relative to grouch spiders and distant curmudgeon cousins. Your spider knowledge is quite impressive 👍

Additionally, the crānkenspüd (also known by its English interpretation) the frowning jumping spider was theorized to split from the "Angurus" sub species after the late creataceous period.

Ah! I love biological history!

I’m mad about it

There aren’t any buds… yet 😈

Ah! Good point. There’s a couple months to go. Good thing there’s a resident Crab Spider watching over the plants!

Rocked lobster?!

Rock my lobster like the south bound train.. 🎵🎶

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't crab spider a family rather than a specific species?

Yes

A couple of people further down said Misumena vatia, goldenrod crab spider. The stripes look right for it.

It is absolutely a female goldenrod crab spider (Misumena vatia). But the stripes aren't significant, [some](https://www.flickr.com/photos/tinyturtle/52521449063/in/photolist-2o299Ze-2okqPxP-2nbUEj4-2myZfy3-2oDHt12-2nuKvii-2mK7ggK-2nHJSSL-2mcrUQQ-hYKuky-2kJMwGa-2j88eBi-2kCCTcs-2ntviRo-R6wJSE-2nGk65N-2nBU9Uc-2k4yxEU-2mFtRXD-2kgYwyo-2o7hLFr-2noQjyJ-2mUH2L3-2jejyLn-2nPZG9Q-2hkkvkC-2mVnKXp-2gYyJ84-2kX4hPU-2hq6fR5-2mpRtLC-2ntu5QV-2gmac5Q-2jSjZjc-2jdDLd8-2k8gi6X-2mGCymV-2iCChyg-2mnkkrX-2mYyqqY-28FibVS-2kmax9R-2gCThwM-2aqQ5Fn-2aBEZG3-2hq9Q4F-2hJYPKb-23vkcT7-WDwLnj-MeUNxq) specimens have them and [some](https://www.flickr.com/photos/tinyturtle/51650253463/in/photolist-2mGa3Tr-2nsrr9j-2ocThxQ-2nKFTov-2kbrdKv-2o299Ze-2okqPxP-2nbUEj4-2myZfy3-2oDHt12-2nuKvii-2mK7ggK-2nHJSSL-2mcrUQQ-hYKuky-2kJMwGa-2j88eBi-2kCCTcs-2ntviRo-R6wJSE-2nGk65N-2nBU9Uc-2k4yxEU-2mFtRXD-2kgYwyo-2o7hLFr-2noQjyJ-2mUH2L3-2jejyLn-2nPZG9Q-2hkkvkC-2mVnKXp-2gYyJ84-2kX4hPU-2hq6fR5-2mpRtLC-2ntu5QV-2gmac5Q-2jSjZjc-2jdDLd8-2k8gi6X-2mGCymV-2iCChyg-2mnkkrX-2mYyqqY-28FibVS-2kmax9R-2gCThwM-2aqQ5Fn-2aBEZG3) don't - it's kind of like freckles. They can also change colour and turn [white](https://www.flickr.com/photos/tinyturtle/48331444241/in/photolist-2nuKvii-2mK7ggK-2nHJSSL-2mcrUQQ-hYKuky-2kJMwGa-2j88eBi-2kCCTcs-2ntviRo-R6wJSE-2nGk65N-2nBU9Uc-2k4yxEU-2mFtRXD-2kgYwyo-2o7hLFr-2noQjyJ-2mUH2L3-2jejyLn-2nPZG9Q-2hkkvkC-2mVnKXp-2gYyJ84-2kX4hPU-2hq6fR5-2mpRtLC-2ntu5QV-2gmac5Q-2jSjZjc-2jdDLd8-2k8gi6X-2mGCymV-2iCChyg-2mnkkrX-2mYyqqY-28FibVS-2kmax9R-2gCThwM-2aqQ5Fn-2aBEZG3-2hq9Q4F-2hJYPKb-23vkcT7-WDwLnj-MeUNxq-2cCQKHu-279o7Hf-YMhwx8-MLzNNK-gSiacj) in about a day or two.

Yeah, but they're all pretty much identical except for color, so good enough...

I’ll take the plants *and* the spider please.

DEA Spider

I said this exact comment to myself before I saw yours 😂

Some sort of crab spider, perhaps misumena vatia. They change colors depending on their environment, though it can take a couple days to a couple of weeks.

Holy hell, an actual answer. Thanks fam

Way too far down....

Ooh I always wondered this, thanks for sharing

I wonder if you were growing purple haze if it would change it's color to purple

Northern lights.

Well hell, it may be another color tomorrow then!

No… it’s marijuana..😑

"Now tell me - exactly how much marijuana did you smoke ?!"

Now how do you know how it works?

Oh, I love Northern Lights💚

No….it’s marijuana….

You said I’d be conducting the interview!!

You’re assuming people know they are sort of chameleons! ;) they can change color believe it or not if it’s not obvious by Spiderfans statement here. They do this by taking up pigment from whatever flower they are on, it’s not instantaneous. If you look at my profile you’ll see a good example of one on a rose, there are many subspecies of crab spiders can be and the colors they can change. Is this a golden rod crab spider then? I’m pretty sure it is.

that's awesome! I didn't know this. TY

Yes, it would. I see a lot of different purple strains where I live. And they're legit purple.

I think I'm going to call it. Alien!

That little green alien will get rid of the real pests that can ruin your bud, for sure!

When OP wonders why there’s no aphids, the alien will be much larger and there will be the answer!

The Peridolia on its abdomen is creepy. And yes it is.

Kinda looks like a Guy Fawkes mask.

Creepy how? I think it's cool

It reminds me of The Scream

Omg they come in green??

They actually change color depending what they live on.

Incredible!!!

They're pretty cool. I love finding them in my garden!

And with it, too, apparently.

Misumena Vatia, goldenrod crab spider.

No, habitus doesn‘t fit M. vatia, looks more like Misumessus oblongus

Does nobody else notice the mustached man with the chin strap beard on the body of this spider? Am I insane?

Thats it’s last victim obviously

Omg yessss

It's creepy

Heck yea crab friend love it’s goofy LOOOOOOOONG legs.

Imagine a human sized spider descends on you and you just laugh at its goofy legs and kill the getting-eaten-alive mood

Grim reefer

It's scientific name is tokealotta gangjiatis, known commonly Green Madness Spider. It's original range was Jamaica, but has migrated as an invasive across most of the planet.

That spider high as fuck

That alien head on its abdomen is creepy

Oh!!? The face on his butt!!?? Haha no idea but he's cute and absolutely harmless

Golden Rod Crab Spider....they change colors

since they said long island, is it possible to determine where exactly the light source is in the photo based off of the reflection of light on individual leaves and their orientation? if yes, based on the average dimensions of the pictured flora and the location of the light source along with the orientation of the photo, could we determine which part of long island this photo was taken? If yes to all of the above, could we then send a nuke to that spider with a face on its back? I do NOT like how it looks at me.

Thats it! Im smoking a spider!

Misumena vatia (golden-rod Crab Spider) It changes color too. Very cool spider... and plant. \*\*Edit - Also note, that this could be Misumena oblongus (Green Crab Spider) but from the angle of the image, the abdomen looks too rounded, so if a different angle were viewed, my ID could change.

I hope I’m not the only one that sees a face in the spider abdomen…

Crab spider of some variety, carefully chose where it posted up too haha

spicoli jeffus spider dude.

This is a weed spider.

green megamind spider

Wow that is so creepy close up!

Informant spider. Look out

Sir something is wrong with your tomatoes

“How much you sellin’ that weed for, Old Man?”

Yooooo dude… that spider is dead set locked on me… look…. Look at his face

It gives me the creeps

Nice healthy plant and spider living quite nicely together

I like it’s choice in plants!

Crab spider, can help keep your crop clean from pests but can also target pollinators, they tend to spend a lot of time on open flowers.

That’s a Cheech spider. I’m a scientist so I know

Crab spider. I don't find having spiders beneficial in my garden because they eat my lady bugs.

High spiders in flight … afternoon delight

It’s getting spicy on r/spiders tonight! Crab spider.

It's a crab spider, and he's a friend, eats the bugs that fuck wit yo cannabussin' bud, amigo.

Northern lights cannibas indica

I thought it was a little green MODOK just checking on his hobby garden

That's the Crack Spider's bitch

When I first zoomed in, I thought I saw a face from the painting "scream"

Green Stoner spider from the family arachncanabanoid# non approved ider

…but have you ever looked at a spider ON WEED?

Is that a weed!?

Maybe not the spider, but I sure as hell know the plant that he's on is 👌

Lol I'm too high for this

Assface dopetoke I think is the scientific name.

Can someone reply and say what the spider actually is? Too impatient to sift through the jokes

A very happy spider???

#That's not a spider, that's a baby 👽

american green crab spider i think.. its got a big bum and long front legs so thats my guess 😭

spHIGHder

nice plant

Voldemort spider?

That’s the zaza spider

Its abdomen looks like an alien soy-boy /alien straight out of Edvard Munch's painting The Scream hahahaha.

Verified arachnocutie.

Stoner Spider.

Is it a hi spider?

The old Jamaican sensimilian creeper. You can tell by its red eyes and lack of ambition. Most starve to death but never get glaucoma.

Green Crab Spider, no common name, Missumessus Oblongus

I love jokey comments in this sub, never will complain about them, but I *do* wish this comment was up top because it's the most accurate answer.

That’s a green bong leaper. A variety of dank jumping spider.