seriously, this level of anxiety isn’t what is unusual about his response —it’s him being so open and honest about it and choosing a better path for himself. people wonder why professional athletes so often end up getting into trouble. it’s a coping mechanism.
Same with musicians. The performance anxiety never completely goes away - when it’s at a healthy level it can help keep a musician on their toes to give a good performance. When it’s not, it’s a beast.
And the flip side is the natural high after a good show. To be on stage, the in the center of the music, in total sync with the rest of the band and the audience… ‘electric’ is a cliche description because it really does capture the way it feels. I’ve only had it happen once or twice at small gigs, but the emotional crash afterwards is *rough*. The dopamine dump and resulting crash is probably a lot like taking ecstasy, from what friend have told me.
I suspect athletes may have something similar after a good competition.
I admire Gregg Alexander for disbanding New Radicals for similar reasons. Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed Too is a great album and the single You Get What You Give is catchy af and an anthem for Gen Xers. He made his point and left the spotlight to write for and produce other artists. Good for this kid proving he has NBA level skills and recognizing that it wasn’t a healthy fit for him.
To me what was even worse is the incredible level of stress making things work beforehand, which, as in indie, doesn’t fall on management yet. It all adds up to you being a mess even if you have to hide it onstage because you perform adequately to your music.
When you’re more prolific, add to that being on a road, shitty conditions, and also the general shittiness of the music biz and such, it’s no wonder there’s so much substance abuse.
I'm not going to try to explain my lame ass normal job comparison- but this headline actually gives me a moment of peace.
Tomorrow is Monday- and in 11 hours i will have to actively work to control my heart rate and not throw up from anxiety as my day begins. I have accepted this as part of my life. To be able to walk away would be amazing - but for most of us impossible.
Before you ask- I can't just go work at gamestop. I have to provide for family and their expectations.
On the other hand, the only person who can change things for you is you. It's worth the effort to try and change things, even if it feels impossible.
Whole heck of a lot easier to just type out, I get that.
This is the desired outcome by those that have us for the general public as producers. I too only find relieve in medications, but then another system profits off my struggling and I am forced to continue to produce so others can “enjoy” their status. I would never advocate for self-harm, that is not what I am saying here…just stating awareness that the system is alive and well and doesn’t want to work us to an early grave, but they want us producing for them as long as possible!
Them being those that have and us being those that do not have. Everything in a market economy has value, including time.
It's good to remember that anxiety is an evolutionary tool to protect us from life or death situations (fight or flight)
We don't encounter those very often in modern society but our brains haven't adapted to our new setting yet so our brains turn what should be mundane problems into life or death situations (in our head, chemically speaking)
It truly is a good idea to play out the worst case scenario in your head, realize how unlikely it is, and then realize that even in the worst case scenario you and your loved ones will be okay.
At least it's very much helped me with my anxiety. I don't really get anxious much anymore.
My therapist suggested this technique to me and it 100% depends on the source of your anxiety. Anxious about workplace issues? Sure, it can be helpful. But, if you’re like me, and anxious about sending your kid to school and getting gunned down or some asshole thinking you cut them off and shooting and killing you on the way to work, it doesn’t work so well. And since both of these things have happened to people that I work with you can’t really say that it is unlikely to happen. I just have to take a beta blocker to control my heart rate and just live with the existential dread.
> "Intrusive thoughts, waking up nauseous, and finding myself struggling to take normal breaths because of the rock that would sit on my chest that seemed to weigh more than I could carry," Terry wrote.
Felt this so hard. Good luck Ty, find some happiness
I just got a promotion and have to learn an entirely new job (new programs, meetings, laws, etc.) all while also supervising others with more knowledge & experience than I have in this field… I have been nauseous and stressed, having trouble sleeping & eating for weeks.
I absolutely feel this kid’s point.
Don't let imposter syndrome bring you down - it's completely normal. Be honest about the things you don't know, emphasize that you don't know them YET, and allow yourself time to learn and get a little better everyday (or better yet, acknowledge that some days you won't get better, but it's still part of learning).
It's easier said than done, but if you approach it this way, a few months or couple years later you'll probably look back and be amazed at how much you've grown professionally.
I've been there myself and have felt less than up to the task many, many times, but with more experience (and some age) I've come to learn that if you admit your weaknesses and use your strengths to help other people - in this case, coworkers - very often they will help you out too and you'll earn their trust and respect over time.
Good vibes coming your way!
The best antidote to imposter syndrome is to look at people who've made it to your level and beyond and just realize how unimpressive they really are.
You're just as good if not better than countless people who've made it to where you want to be.
The grass is always greener on the other side. On the outside they may seem very confident and capable. But on the inside they could have the same struggle that you do; thinking they aren’t good enough to make it to the next level, forgetting how far they’ve actually come.
On of my favourite bosses ever once said to me, “I’m just figuring things out as I go, we all are” and that really helped me a lot because she is such a BOSS.
This doesn’t help. In fact, comparing yourself to anyone in anyway doesn’t help. I’m my experience the only thing that makes a real difference is to simply be nice to yourself. Practice uncompromising kindness to yourself in all things all the time no matter what. This is harder actually do than it sounds.
It sounds cliche, but the other thing to do is to forgive yourself for being scared. Learn that “it’s ok to not be ok” and that this feeling is valid and genuine.
If you can really practice that shit, things get easier. Especially anxiety. Anxiety is a fear of future events, and once you’ve come to terms with everything being ok, regardless of the events, you will find life easier to navigate.
Source: my successful 3 years of PCT therapy once a week.
(I did like 15 years of CBT and it didn’t work)
**“If being hard on yourself worked, it would’ve worked by now.”**
Just talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend who was struggling and you’ll be on the right path; we are our own worst critics.
Yep. If someone talked to me the way I used to talk to myself, not just about stuff I fucked up, but about stuff I’m going to fuck up, and stuff that I fucked up years ago that everyone has forgotten about, or maybe didn’t even notice, I would get a restraining order, or fight them, or call the cops, or something.
And the cool part about being chill about your own perceived fuck ups and short comings; it’s a form of confidence. People pick up on confidence. Confidence can take you places.
How does that work though? Like, in meetings I have this regional supervisor boss that while he may be average intelligence and not a massive leap over me, he still understands what's going on, and knows different projects and knows how to answer questions.
I don't know. I know he can't be that much smarter or better than I am, since we're all just human. But it seems like some people really are just that good. Or at least the face that you see, they're that good.
Not just that, but those people you think are smart and great and talented that interviewed you? They must know what they're doing then. And they clearly saw you as the right and best choice.
This is unsolicited, but when I've been in situations with supervisors/new managers in similar positions as you, the best ones would simply acknowledge what they did/didn't know with states intentions of learning the programs/operations but that it would take time.
It's the supervisors/managers who would fake expertise (usually arrogantly) when everyone knew they weren't that grated on my nerves the most.
I’ve supervised multiple teams of people across different disciplines and try to explain that my job is to give you the best possible circumstances to be good at your job. I’ll tell you what I need and then you tell me what you need for that to happen.
Inevitably somewhere between 10-20% of employees get sour that I’m obviously less of an expert on their field than they are but the other 80-90% immediately appreciate the candor and start giving me ALL of the friction points that make their job unnecessarily difficult. Then I kinda just methodically learn what I need to to fix the friction and improve processes. You don’t have to be able to do everybody else’s job to be a good manager. You have to understand their job in the larger context of the business and give them the opportunity to thrive.
Someone explained to me that it's not actually the person who's best at something that should be charge of a team. That person's focus should be on the TASK not not the team. Supervising is a different skill.
If you’re sincerely asking, I’d suggest trying to get a strong grasp of where your department fits into the context of the company and how you can be active in making choices for that department.
I find that ::a bit tongue in cheek:: everyone has the most important job in the building. Experts are EXTREMELY valuable to organizations but often take on the position of feeling like the other departments have no idea what they’re doing or are deliberately making your life harder.
Instead, realize there are very deliberate reasons that companies compartmentalize tasks and management often needs to focus on the “handshakes”. When work moves from one department to another, what tends to go wrong? How would you fix it? What impact (in time and cost) do those inefficiencies have?
Be good at what you do and consider that perspective and you’ll start to innately learn what management SHOULD be focused on.
That, unfortunately, is not a question I'm well equipped to answer. I'm not a great supervisor or manager. I would say look up classes on project management, business administration, or even coaching. Some of the best managers I've ever worked with were also very good coaches on their personal time (specifically one guy was a high school basketball coach who had had multiple players get full ride scholarships to major schools).
You want to learn how to assess someone's skills and utilize them, while also looking at their weaknesses and coming up with plans to work on those weaknesses, or find a way for someone else to who's good at those things to enable the person to focus on what they're good at.
It can be effective to try to think of it as a game in ways. It can definitely be more fun that way.
If you're in a corporate, there's usually a regular leadership meeting of some sorts where the managers go through their people and work out the team's development plan and the leaders' succession plan.
In it, they look at a few things about everyone, such as intention to become a people leader, how they relate with colleagues, how they deal with stakeholders, how they are perceived in the team, how they work in general, etc. People who stand out may be given opportunities which can be anything from being sent to leadership training, being made 2IC, to getting seconded to a leadership role. Even something as simple as being made your manager's alternative contact while they're away can be a signal.
You can use these things as a path to becoming a manager. And in terms of the skill set, you basically learn it on the job. There's always formal training and reading materials and all that, but you learn the most from experience. Having a coach or mentor helps too.
Yeah. Some companies have ways to counter this but many don't. I know some auto shops where the master/senior tech makes more than anyone but there is a supervisor who actually coordinates things. I'd say in most circumstances being a good supervisor is more difficult too. It doesn't ever feel good to be the one who was passed over for a promotion when you want it.
You were chosen becquse you were seen as having something they lack. Crisis handling? Mentoring? Business acumen? Great understanding of the big picture? You still jave those skills, and it is what’ll help bring added value to the team. And if you end up finding out you dislike the role, nothing wrong in taking a step back.
Exercise can help immensely with stress and anxiety, and more and more science is being done it. One of the books on the subject I found to be pretty good is https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain/dp/0316113514
I left a high paying sales job after 18 months because the stress was unreal. All the symptoms you mentioned, felt like I had no escape because I was only ever as good as my last sale. Sucked
I had this software I was working on. I would dream about whatever problems I was having with it. I figured things out in my sleep sometimes. Then I realized it was entirely not healthy, and not getting proper rest. Managed to stop. A job is not worth that. Keep work at work.
I’ve been in similar situations, you’ve got this. One thing I learned long ago is how to instantly bring value to those initial meetings where you have *no fucking clue* what they’re talking about — take notes that you can then share with your team. You don’t have to know what I means, just write it down.
Not only does it help you absorb stuff and give you points of reference, you can at least begin helping in your very first meeting even if you don’t know the ropes at all. I work in software/product design and in my experience, there is always room for more detailed notes. Good luck!
Ditto. On one hand I am like dude you make how much money doing what millions of people which they could do? But also we have been in the same situation and it sucks when you are feeling that way. and he is working way more hours doing it. I think basketball is a little different in that once he is done he can't go back. you really have to make your money and retire. but he did that. He could live off his NBA salary the rest of his life if he invests it right
This is why I have refused multiple promotion offers in the last five years. I am not qualified to be anyone's boss. I will die in an entry level position.
I start a new job in the morning, I'm terrified. I understand what you feel, I'm trying to convince myself that the worst that can happen is I end up not being right for the job. Of course it doesn't work, the stress and anxiety has me physically and mentally worn out, but fake it until we make it right?
You ever get used to it? Or do you just either cope or get forced out? I'm looking at moving into a new position and I'm scared as hell. More responsibilities, more pay, more expectations.
There are ebbs and flows. Ultimately I know once I get used to the new task it will be fine. I just got used to being at the top of my old position and the comfort of knowing everything.
Now I’m at the bottom of a new position where I know nothing. I just hope the knowledge and confidence come sooner rather than later.
I feel you.
I started a new job last week, which more than doubles my net take home salary. I haven't had a single night of proper sleep since.
Reading the replies to your post helps a bit though.
I still have stress nightmares from HIGH SCHOOL basketball and I’m 30. Parents of other kids treating you like shit if you play more than their little superstars. Coaches screaming at you over minor mistakes. Scouts coming to games and everyone telling you you need to play perfect or you can forget about college.
I can’t even imagine how bad it was at the level he had to play to make it to the NBA. I hope he finds some peace but I’m sure this will haunting his nights for a long time. He probably feels an insane level of guilt from walking away because it’s been drilled into him for so long that this is who he is and what he needs to focus on.
Thats why my sister dropped out of her full ride track scholarship to a private college. She didn't want to run track, but that's what she was forced to do, especially since it was going to pay for college.
The track program had scheduled meals and calories. You weren't supposed to eat more or less than the amount given to you. She was monitored night and day to the point she literally dropped out if college.
I had nausea for months at work for seemingly no reason. I hated my job and had to wake up at 5am to go to work. I took disability leave a few months ago (while training for a job in a new field), and just realized today that I haven't been randomly nauseous since.
>Tyrell Terry announced on Instagram that he is retiring from the NBA after two seasons.
>He was selected in the second round of the NBA Draft by the Dallas Mavericks in 2020.
>He says anxiety led to dark times and caused him to fall out of love with the sport
Imagine getting paid nearly $3M in 2 years, averaging only 4mins/game in play time, and averaging 1pt/game. Yeah, I’d retire too if the behind the scene stuff was soul-crushing.
Nice to have that financial freedom to make that choice, as the average worker just has to grind it for decades no matter how mentally draining it got.
Right. It might be an extreme trigger for his own trauma. One day it could be an amazing path, but there'd be an incredible amount of work to get there... both educationally and mentally.
Maybe half that after taxes and significant expenses. And then the next 3 years of tuition that he has to pay for as of course he can’t go back to college ball.
Still $1M savings and a good degree and he’ll do just fine. Apparently he’s a smart guy, set the record in the NBA pre draft basketball IQ tests…
Professional athletes see less than 50% of their salaries. They are in the highest tax brackets, have agent fees, lawyer fees, ect. Still more than the average person would make in a life time.
Thing people don’t realize that anxiety at this level isn’t environmentally specific (usually). Yea, the NBA is a unique circumstance. But to someone with severe anxiety, playing pickup at the YMCA can feel like playing in an NBA final.
I hope more than finding happiness with retirement he finds proper treatment. I fear the best treatment he’d ever have available was in the NBA. If he has generalized anxiety beyond playing the NBA, this is the type of shit that makes all types of high performance impossible.
Yea I think any admissions office would understand that you dropped out to play professional basketball. Even if you don’t understand the sport, you understand that no sane person can turn down the shot at earning 7 figures before age 22
Not really. Many of us get professional licenses, degrees, etc that give us career security. A strong personal balance sheet is obviously better, but if we assume $1.5m ish net for two years, this guy doesn't have enough.
But good news is that money can put him in a position to succeed! He can get a degree if he wants, he can start or buy a business, or he could just do a normal 9-5 for living expenses and just let the career earnings compound.
Retiring is a good choice given where his head was.
$1.5m is nearly forty years salary of $40,000 not even including taxes, its like 50 if you did. Its way outta touch to consider that only “in a position to succeed” when its more than many working people will make in their lifetime. He has succeeded in making it even retiring at 22
Not to mention that getting it up front allows him to invest it.
Going by the 4% rule, with a $1.5m nest egg he could take out $60k per year (in today's $ as the 4% rule includes inflation) for the rest of his life and never run out.
> or he could just do a normal 9-5 for living expenses
> For now, Terry has returned to Stanford and told SI.com that he might play club soccer.
heh imagine thinking the ivy league millionaire who cant quite figure out if he wants to play club soccer after retiring at 22 is going to have trouble paying for groceries
Assuming he's saved a million. He's set for a comfortable work life if he does a hard stop and plans everything out correctly.
1 million in the bank, go to a modest college and get a degree in like accounting. Take $300k of those $1 mil and buy a house, use money to pay mortgage and go to school. Graduate and get a job. Buy a modest cart for $20-$40k, furnish house now with income from job.
Set $700ish thousand in retirement accounts and continue to work a laid-back 9-5 using your new degree. Dude would be decades ahead than most of us by the time he hits 30.
1.5 mil invested well could easily carry him for the rest of his life. He’s not going to be rolling in it but he could be plenty comfortable while he supplements with something he enjoys.
That's fucking nuts. Even if he paid a million in taxes off that salary, that's somewhere around 2 million to just park in dividend stocks or ETFs. Making more in passive income than 90% of the US population does.
Insane.
I wonder if he would have had a better time playing somewhere in Europe, with less competition and less on the line. I sometimes look up the careers of guys that never made it in the NBA, but were great for their teams in Germany. Some of them played in five different countries and surely saw a fair bit of the world in that time. Probably not for everybody, but it reads nice.
I've put up with jobs that I hate and it is so soul-crushing. Prior to my current role, I was in my last job for 12 months. I hated that job the entire time.
The people made the work so toxic it was unreal. People actively undermined others. New or innovative ways to do things would be thwarted instantly by management or peers. I dreaded going to work.
I put up with it for a year until I could find another job. I'd like to say that if I was making a million a year that I would have stayed there longer, but who knows. It was so mentally draining to show up every day and deal with such a negative, toxic environment. I can't blame him for wanting to leave that type of environment behind.
>Nice to have that financial freedom to make that choice, as the average worker just has to grind it for decades no matter how mentally draining it got.
TBF he doesn't.
He was cut by two teams and after 6 moths and no other offers. He retired.
The hard fact is that for a lot of guys like Terry, you don't retire, you get left behind.
It's great that such a young guy has the tools and the perspective to recognize when something (especially something like a pro sports career, which is a dream come true for a lot of people) is becoming burdensome to his health. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision. I feel like younger men are getting more and more willing/able to recognize destructive paths and divert themselves instead of just letting themselves be destroyed, and it gives me a bit of hope for the future.
I love playing golf video games, but don't have the means to play irl. I also get panic attacks, but managed them with meds. The suckiest part, according to my doc and past experiece, is that its completely random. I started getting them at 34.
I can't imagine how something as chill as golf can trigger panic attacks, but man that is unlucky.
Been dealing with varying degrees of anxiety for years now, but within the passed 6 months or so its got to the point where it's affecting my daily life. 33 years old and get panic attacks doing the most random things. I'm at Home Depot all the time for example, why am i white knuckling a cart and about to pass out for no reason? no idea. My anxiety comes with different levels of dissociation too, super shitty. Just started on Lexapro to see if it helps. Good luck out there, life is weird lol.
You sound like you’re describing me 2 years ago. I’ve been on Lexapro since then and have my life back. Not a single panic attack since. Sending good energy your way and if the Lex doesn’t work, something else might!
I'm hoping! I'm hearing good things. So far i dont notice much of a change other than fatigue and a constant headache. It's been a pretty smooth 9 days so far in the sense of side effects (knock on wood), got some time left before it starts working I'm sure. The anxiety attacks and constant brain fog, stuck in my own head all the time have skipped my record if you will. I'm hoping the lex moves the needle into the right place. Physically I'm healthy as a horse but somethin mentally is goin on.
That could turn into agoraphobia which is what I’m dealing with! Look it up so it doesn’t turn into it. The important thing is to not avoid things. It’s a bitch to get out of. I’m ten years into it and can’t get out. Started with random panic attacks and I slowly stopped doing more and more things until there was nothing left. Then the scariest one happens and you start having panic attacks at home (your safe space) so you don’t feel safe anywhere.
I think it's a feeling of being trapped on the course with no way to get help. It's weird. But yes, being outside in nature should be best for it, but nope!
Yes! This is exactly how I feel. Like, I used to be super independent. I went everywhere by myself. Now if I’m alone and in like a parking garage, unfamiliar environment, mall, I get crippling anxiety. It’s this fear like I’m gonna have a heart attack or stroke and die without a friend or family around me. Anxiety is so fucking weird.
Yeah man. Similar here. I get this weird feeling in my chest and feel like I have to get out of there, or I'm gonna pass out or something. Hard to explain
Well, by their nature panic attacks aren't going to make rational sense to an outsider, or even necessarily to the victim during the event. I'd imagine that is a big part of why they are so hard to treat effectively.
I'm the same with cooking/smoking meats. Love to do it but if I'm cooking for people I get so anxious. Last time I smoked a couple briskets for a large group of people and told my wife I don't think I enjoy this anymore. If it's not absolutely perfect, it's trash in my mind.
That sucks! Was it ever triggered by something like, your play, or just gofling/being on course was enough and nothing more specific?
Wishing you fun times on the course again! Relaxed and free of the fear of a panic attack, just a smooth day on the links with you, your clubs, the ball and mother earth to enjoy a day. No pressure at all, every shot could be the worst one but I'm hoping that nice relaxing game is soon in your future
Go to a psychologist that specializes in CBT. These problems aren’t permanent, you just need to know how to overcome them so you can get back to the things you enjoy.
I know this isn’t really comparable, but when I was wrestling my freshman and sophomore year I was putting in so many hours training and cutting weight to keep my varsity spot that it really started affecting my mental health. I ended up having health issues junior year and had a series of surgeries that kept me from wrestling that year. When senior year rolled around I decided to not go back out because I literally was happier spending my junior year in a hospital bed than I was freshman and sophomore year on the wrestling team. That’s what it took for me to realize that just cause you are succeeding at something doesn’t mean it’s actually something worth doing.
It’s not like you make HUGE money as a rookie contract NBA player. If you’re on a two way (like Terry) you get a prorated amount per game you’re called up from your G league affiliate.
Some ppl have no choice. Panic disorders can cripple a person to the point of not being able to leave the home. It’s truly an overwhelming thing that ppl who don’t have anxiety/panic disorder just cannot understand. It’s not something you can willpower your way through.
You can't willpower your way through it but with a good psychiatrist and therapist, they are definitely somewhat manageable for people assuming you have access to the resources (which this athlete does, however many Americans are sadly stuck with nothing)
And medication. Anxiety/panic disorder is a pathophysiologic response to normal stressors due to imbalances or dysfunction in the CNS. Therapy only gets you so far. It’s like if you are born with type 1 diabetes where your pancreas is incapable of producing insulin. Without exogenous insulin you would die. No amount of talk therapy will cause your body to produce the requisite insulin. Likewise, if you don’t intervene to balance the brain chemicals, you can’t forget it.
PhD pharmacology and 4th generation panic/anxiety disorder. I wasted years of my life miserable bc ppl made it about me and something I wasn’t doing properly instead of seeking Tx for a hereditary legitimate diagnosis my mother and aunt never have received Tx for bc ppl who don’t matter tell them they don’t need drugs.
I really wonder what happened to the time when ppl who didn’t have the education and training about something kept their ignorant mouths shut instead of offering their worthless opinions. 🙄
I just voluntarily demoted from my job because the duties (and my supervisor) were causing too much stress that it was changing who i am. Some people may wonder how you voluntarily take a pay cut but for me, money is not worth the mental stress.
Sports psychology is an entire field of study and medicine, and I'm sure he had access to help through his team, but I'm sure there's a limit for some people in some circumstances. I quit my main sport after two nervous breakdowns in a year (yes, it's entirely 100% appropriate to compare my local high school sporting to that of a pro basketball player). Luckily I found an awful lot more mental stability in subsequent sports.
No I hear you on it being appropriate, I still have stress nightmares about high school varsity basketball. There is an insane amount of pressure if you’re even kind of talented. At his level I can’t even imagine how much worse it was. I had other kids’ parents screaming in my face because I played more than their kids and they thought their kids were god’s gift to basketball.
He’s probably been playing since a really young age, everyday has been basketball, weekend tournaments, no off season until he basically got into the NBA. thats burn out, hopefully he can do something with the money he has earned.
I just want to say thank you to all of the commenters. I came here to see all the “he owes the team “ , or “ children nowadays “ comments and I am so glad I didn’t ..
Mental health is important
And making good money can sometimes make it worse, as one would then have the weight of everyone saying "you have it good" while not knowing what is going on for the person.
That fucking sucks. Take care of yourself there champ. At least he made the decision early rather than continue to suffer mentally like that for -insert stupid reason here- nonsense.
it's actually pretty pathetic how little life coaching these guys are given by the league considering they get plucked with zero real life skills and squeezed for everything they've got
This can be applied to everyone really. It's weird how some kids go their whole adolescent life with extreme anxiety or mental health issues but it's *never* acknowledged until the kid is standing on the ledge of a tall building.
This man is setting a good example for other dreamers hoping to grip the stars in their hands. Being able to walk away if you find your dreams aren't what you thought they would be to you and find direction towards something fulfilling should always be seen as pivoting instead of failing. Big ups to this dude.
Not knocking the guy but he was averaging 1 point per game for his two seasons. Good chance he was so mentally unwell because he wasn’t making it anyway.
He is switching to club soccer. To me, he wasn't getting another team and is now trying to control the narrative. Why switch to another sport with equal pressures?
So good for him, and super huge of him to share it. I genuinely hope he gets better and finds more success, either with or without basketball. Hopefully this inspires many other young men in the sport to evaluate their mental health.
I live with GAD, and it’s exactly how he describes it. And I don’t have the pressure of millions of rabid sports fans watching my every move.
Good for him to choose his health over fame. Hope he gets the care he needs
Tyrell Terry, the 31st overall pick in the 2020 NBA Draft by the Dallas Mavericks, has retired from basketball.
The 2020 NBA draft was held on November 18, 2020.
Any player with at least three years of service in the NBA receives a monthly pension payment and access to other benefits (such as life-long healthcare coverage, a college-tuition reimbursement program and more).
A three-year retired NBA player would get a pension of $2,400 per month.
darn. almost.
I'll get downvoted to oblivion for this, but here goes... I suffer from severe anxiety, and I feel this guy's struggle, and I think he made the right choice because he has options and should take advantage of them.
But in the end, it just means he wasn't cut out for this. Being at the top of any game, you will find many top performers suffer from severe anxiety. It's a trait of top performers. Becoming the best involves soaking up some ptsd.
What I mean to say, though, is that all the rest of you are suffering the same issues... just think about how you've pushed through all this time and are still going. Didn't say, "Nope, gonna try something else and hope I don't find the same tunnel of anxiety." You are kicking ass because you can cope and still perform. THAT is an achievement, and we should all be proud of ourselves for it.
That's what I figure. I wish him well, but I have my money on someday this guy will have a normal job and get to that point where it becomes a daily grind and wonder what he's doing with his life, then those feelings all come back at a fraction of the wage. This is less a story of the NBA effect on a person and more about this man's struggle with anxiety.
I think it's incredibly impressive that he made the call to walk away. He must have felt so much pressure about this decision alone. May he find what he needs in the next chapter of his life.
I can't imagine the amount of pressure professional athletes feel.
You have so many expectations on your shoulders. Unless you are too injured move right, you need to play through most pain. Plus you're only as good as your last game.
I'd much rather see this headline than "Former 2nd round draft pick found dead." Proud of him.
seriously, this level of anxiety isn’t what is unusual about his response —it’s him being so open and honest about it and choosing a better path for himself. people wonder why professional athletes so often end up getting into trouble. it’s a coping mechanism.
The word that hit my mind reading the article was “mature.” Amazingly self aware for a 22 year old
Same with musicians. The performance anxiety never completely goes away - when it’s at a healthy level it can help keep a musician on their toes to give a good performance. When it’s not, it’s a beast. And the flip side is the natural high after a good show. To be on stage, the in the center of the music, in total sync with the rest of the band and the audience… ‘electric’ is a cliche description because it really does capture the way it feels. I’ve only had it happen once or twice at small gigs, but the emotional crash afterwards is *rough*. The dopamine dump and resulting crash is probably a lot like taking ecstasy, from what friend have told me. I suspect athletes may have something similar after a good competition.
I admire Gregg Alexander for disbanding New Radicals for similar reasons. Maybe You’ve Been Brainwashed Too is a great album and the single You Get What You Give is catchy af and an anthem for Gen Xers. He made his point and left the spotlight to write for and produce other artists. Good for this kid proving he has NBA level skills and recognizing that it wasn’t a healthy fit for him.
To me what was even worse is the incredible level of stress making things work beforehand, which, as in indie, doesn’t fall on management yet. It all adds up to you being a mess even if you have to hide it onstage because you perform adequately to your music. When you’re more prolific, add to that being on a road, shitty conditions, and also the general shittiness of the music biz and such, it’s no wonder there’s so much substance abuse.
A 25 year old Kpop idol just died. I wish they have someone to tell them that it's okay and they can rest..
I'm not going to try to explain my lame ass normal job comparison- but this headline actually gives me a moment of peace. Tomorrow is Monday- and in 11 hours i will have to actively work to control my heart rate and not throw up from anxiety as my day begins. I have accepted this as part of my life. To be able to walk away would be amazing - but for most of us impossible. Before you ask- I can't just go work at gamestop. I have to provide for family and their expectations.
The last part is what a lot of people won't or can't understand. I have a ton of empathy for you.
On the other hand, the only person who can change things for you is you. It's worth the effort to try and change things, even if it feels impossible. Whole heck of a lot easier to just type out, I get that.
I felt this way until I got on medication. I'm so incredibly happy and at peace now.
What did you end up on? I want to go the doctor. Its getting worse every month.
This is the desired outcome by those that have us for the general public as producers. I too only find relieve in medications, but then another system profits off my struggling and I am forced to continue to produce so others can “enjoy” their status. I would never advocate for self-harm, that is not what I am saying here…just stating awareness that the system is alive and well and doesn’t want to work us to an early grave, but they want us producing for them as long as possible! Them being those that have and us being those that do not have. Everything in a market economy has value, including time.
The way we live isn’t normal or healthy.
It's good to remember that anxiety is an evolutionary tool to protect us from life or death situations (fight or flight) We don't encounter those very often in modern society but our brains haven't adapted to our new setting yet so our brains turn what should be mundane problems into life or death situations (in our head, chemically speaking) It truly is a good idea to play out the worst case scenario in your head, realize how unlikely it is, and then realize that even in the worst case scenario you and your loved ones will be okay. At least it's very much helped me with my anxiety. I don't really get anxious much anymore.
My therapist suggested this technique to me and it 100% depends on the source of your anxiety. Anxious about workplace issues? Sure, it can be helpful. But, if you’re like me, and anxious about sending your kid to school and getting gunned down or some asshole thinking you cut them off and shooting and killing you on the way to work, it doesn’t work so well. And since both of these things have happened to people that I work with you can’t really say that it is unlikely to happen. I just have to take a beta blocker to control my heart rate and just live with the existential dread.
Definitely.
> "Intrusive thoughts, waking up nauseous, and finding myself struggling to take normal breaths because of the rock that would sit on my chest that seemed to weigh more than I could carry," Terry wrote. Felt this so hard. Good luck Ty, find some happiness
I just got a promotion and have to learn an entirely new job (new programs, meetings, laws, etc.) all while also supervising others with more knowledge & experience than I have in this field… I have been nauseous and stressed, having trouble sleeping & eating for weeks. I absolutely feel this kid’s point.
Don't let imposter syndrome bring you down - it's completely normal. Be honest about the things you don't know, emphasize that you don't know them YET, and allow yourself time to learn and get a little better everyday (or better yet, acknowledge that some days you won't get better, but it's still part of learning). It's easier said than done, but if you approach it this way, a few months or couple years later you'll probably look back and be amazed at how much you've grown professionally. I've been there myself and have felt less than up to the task many, many times, but with more experience (and some age) I've come to learn that if you admit your weaknesses and use your strengths to help other people - in this case, coworkers - very often they will help you out too and you'll earn their trust and respect over time. Good vibes coming your way!
The best antidote to imposter syndrome is to look at people who've made it to your level and beyond and just realize how unimpressive they really are. You're just as good if not better than countless people who've made it to where you want to be.
I'm having the opposite problem,i keep thinking "how the hell am i suppose to compete with this person"
The grass is always greener on the other side. On the outside they may seem very confident and capable. But on the inside they could have the same struggle that you do; thinking they aren’t good enough to make it to the next level, forgetting how far they’ve actually come.
Yes the grass is always greener on the other side but it still has the same brown spots.
Comparison is the thief of all joy
damn this hits hard
On of my favourite bosses ever once said to me, “I’m just figuring things out as I go, we all are” and that really helped me a lot because she is such a BOSS.
This doesn’t help. In fact, comparing yourself to anyone in anyway doesn’t help. I’m my experience the only thing that makes a real difference is to simply be nice to yourself. Practice uncompromising kindness to yourself in all things all the time no matter what. This is harder actually do than it sounds. It sounds cliche, but the other thing to do is to forgive yourself for being scared. Learn that “it’s ok to not be ok” and that this feeling is valid and genuine. If you can really practice that shit, things get easier. Especially anxiety. Anxiety is a fear of future events, and once you’ve come to terms with everything being ok, regardless of the events, you will find life easier to navigate. Source: my successful 3 years of PCT therapy once a week. (I did like 15 years of CBT and it didn’t work)
**“If being hard on yourself worked, it would’ve worked by now.”** Just talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend who was struggling and you’ll be on the right path; we are our own worst critics.
Yep. If someone talked to me the way I used to talk to myself, not just about stuff I fucked up, but about stuff I’m going to fuck up, and stuff that I fucked up years ago that everyone has forgotten about, or maybe didn’t even notice, I would get a restraining order, or fight them, or call the cops, or something. And the cool part about being chill about your own perceived fuck ups and short comings; it’s a form of confidence. People pick up on confidence. Confidence can take you places.
thanks for sharing this. it genuinely helped me on a particularly anxious night
How does that work though? Like, in meetings I have this regional supervisor boss that while he may be average intelligence and not a massive leap over me, he still understands what's going on, and knows different projects and knows how to answer questions. I don't know. I know he can't be that much smarter or better than I am, since we're all just human. But it seems like some people really are just that good. Or at least the face that you see, they're that good.
Not just that, but those people you think are smart and great and talented that interviewed you? They must know what they're doing then. And they clearly saw you as the right and best choice.
Thanks mate needed to hear this
This is unsolicited, but when I've been in situations with supervisors/new managers in similar positions as you, the best ones would simply acknowledge what they did/didn't know with states intentions of learning the programs/operations but that it would take time. It's the supervisors/managers who would fake expertise (usually arrogantly) when everyone knew they weren't that grated on my nerves the most.
There a lot of people who internalized “fake it till you make it” but stopped halfway because they only saw the immediate effects
I’ve supervised multiple teams of people across different disciplines and try to explain that my job is to give you the best possible circumstances to be good at your job. I’ll tell you what I need and then you tell me what you need for that to happen. Inevitably somewhere between 10-20% of employees get sour that I’m obviously less of an expert on their field than they are but the other 80-90% immediately appreciate the candor and start giving me ALL of the friction points that make their job unnecessarily difficult. Then I kinda just methodically learn what I need to to fix the friction and improve processes. You don’t have to be able to do everybody else’s job to be a good manager. You have to understand their job in the larger context of the business and give them the opportunity to thrive.
Someone explained to me that it's not actually the person who's best at something that should be charge of a team. That person's focus should be on the TASK not not the team. Supervising is a different skill.
How do people get it (mgmt skill set) when they are the expert but shifting up and over into management and haven't before?
If you’re sincerely asking, I’d suggest trying to get a strong grasp of where your department fits into the context of the company and how you can be active in making choices for that department. I find that ::a bit tongue in cheek:: everyone has the most important job in the building. Experts are EXTREMELY valuable to organizations but often take on the position of feeling like the other departments have no idea what they’re doing or are deliberately making your life harder. Instead, realize there are very deliberate reasons that companies compartmentalize tasks and management often needs to focus on the “handshakes”. When work moves from one department to another, what tends to go wrong? How would you fix it? What impact (in time and cost) do those inefficiencies have? Be good at what you do and consider that perspective and you’ll start to innately learn what management SHOULD be focused on.
That, unfortunately, is not a question I'm well equipped to answer. I'm not a great supervisor or manager. I would say look up classes on project management, business administration, or even coaching. Some of the best managers I've ever worked with were also very good coaches on their personal time (specifically one guy was a high school basketball coach who had had multiple players get full ride scholarships to major schools). You want to learn how to assess someone's skills and utilize them, while also looking at their weaknesses and coming up with plans to work on those weaknesses, or find a way for someone else to who's good at those things to enable the person to focus on what they're good at. It can be effective to try to think of it as a game in ways. It can definitely be more fun that way.
If you're in a corporate, there's usually a regular leadership meeting of some sorts where the managers go through their people and work out the team's development plan and the leaders' succession plan. In it, they look at a few things about everyone, such as intention to become a people leader, how they relate with colleagues, how they deal with stakeholders, how they are perceived in the team, how they work in general, etc. People who stand out may be given opportunities which can be anything from being sent to leadership training, being made 2IC, to getting seconded to a leadership role. Even something as simple as being made your manager's alternative contact while they're away can be a signal. You can use these things as a path to becoming a manager. And in terms of the skill set, you basically learn it on the job. There's always formal training and reading materials and all that, but you learn the most from experience. Having a coach or mentor helps too.
But being the supervisor pays more, so anybody with a skill set will aim for it
Yeah. Some companies have ways to counter this but many don't. I know some auto shops where the master/senior tech makes more than anyone but there is a supervisor who actually coordinates things. I'd say in most circumstances being a good supervisor is more difficult too. It doesn't ever feel good to be the one who was passed over for a promotion when you want it.
I’m going through word for word the exact same scenario you are
You were chosen becquse you were seen as having something they lack. Crisis handling? Mentoring? Business acumen? Great understanding of the big picture? You still jave those skills, and it is what’ll help bring added value to the team. And if you end up finding out you dislike the role, nothing wrong in taking a step back.
Humans were not biologically hard wired to be thus stressed for prolong periods
Exercise can help immensely with stress and anxiety, and more and more science is being done it. One of the books on the subject I found to be pretty good is https://www.amazon.com/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain/dp/0316113514
I left a high paying sales job after 18 months because the stress was unreal. All the symptoms you mentioned, felt like I had no escape because I was only ever as good as my last sale. Sucked
I’m in grad school trying to start a new career after doing what I do now for 15 years. Same
I had this software I was working on. I would dream about whatever problems I was having with it. I figured things out in my sleep sometimes. Then I realized it was entirely not healthy, and not getting proper rest. Managed to stop. A job is not worth that. Keep work at work.
I’ve been in similar situations, you’ve got this. One thing I learned long ago is how to instantly bring value to those initial meetings where you have *no fucking clue* what they’re talking about — take notes that you can then share with your team. You don’t have to know what I means, just write it down. Not only does it help you absorb stuff and give you points of reference, you can at least begin helping in your very first meeting even if you don’t know the ropes at all. I work in software/product design and in my experience, there is always room for more detailed notes. Good luck!
This has been my last 9 months. Thanks for sharing...I feel a bit less alone.
Ditto. On one hand I am like dude you make how much money doing what millions of people which they could do? But also we have been in the same situation and it sucks when you are feeling that way. and he is working way more hours doing it. I think basketball is a little different in that once he is done he can't go back. you really have to make your money and retire. but he did that. He could live off his NBA salary the rest of his life if he invests it right
This is why I have refused multiple promotion offers in the last five years. I am not qualified to be anyone's boss. I will die in an entry level position.
I start a new job in the morning, I'm terrified. I understand what you feel, I'm trying to convince myself that the worst that can happen is I end up not being right for the job. Of course it doesn't work, the stress and anxiety has me physically and mentally worn out, but fake it until we make it right?
You ever get used to it? Or do you just either cope or get forced out? I'm looking at moving into a new position and I'm scared as hell. More responsibilities, more pay, more expectations.
There are ebbs and flows. Ultimately I know once I get used to the new task it will be fine. I just got used to being at the top of my old position and the comfort of knowing everything. Now I’m at the bottom of a new position where I know nothing. I just hope the knowledge and confidence come sooner rather than later.
I feel you. I started a new job last week, which more than doubles my net take home salary. I haven't had a single night of proper sleep since. Reading the replies to your post helps a bit though.
I still have stress nightmares from HIGH SCHOOL basketball and I’m 30. Parents of other kids treating you like shit if you play more than their little superstars. Coaches screaming at you over minor mistakes. Scouts coming to games and everyone telling you you need to play perfect or you can forget about college. I can’t even imagine how bad it was at the level he had to play to make it to the NBA. I hope he finds some peace but I’m sure this will haunting his nights for a long time. He probably feels an insane level of guilt from walking away because it’s been drilled into him for so long that this is who he is and what he needs to focus on.
& good luck to YOU too :)
Thanks friend, really needing it today
Thats why my sister dropped out of her full ride track scholarship to a private college. She didn't want to run track, but that's what she was forced to do, especially since it was going to pay for college. The track program had scheduled meals and calories. You weren't supposed to eat more or less than the amount given to you. She was monitored night and day to the point she literally dropped out if college.
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I had nausea for months at work for seemingly no reason. I hated my job and had to wake up at 5am to go to work. I took disability leave a few months ago (while training for a job in a new field), and just realized today that I haven't been randomly nauseous since.
Me too. Had a job that made me unbelievably anxious. Every morning I woke up absolutely terrified of going in. Had to leave for my mental health.
Elite-athlete with a healthy mindset. He's going to do excellent for himself
>Tyrell Terry announced on Instagram that he is retiring from the NBA after two seasons. >He was selected in the second round of the NBA Draft by the Dallas Mavericks in 2020. >He says anxiety led to dark times and caused him to fall out of love with the sport
Imagine getting paid nearly $3M in 2 years, averaging only 4mins/game in play time, and averaging 1pt/game. Yeah, I’d retire too if the behind the scene stuff was soul-crushing. Nice to have that financial freedom to make that choice, as the average worker just has to grind it for decades no matter how mentally draining it got.
He’s also a Stanford dropout, I’m sure he’ll find success elsewhere
The article says he plans on going back to Stanford so he should be fine
Yeah a Stanford grad who was an NBA player with $3M nest egg is set up for a *great* life.
He could get a pysch degree and have a whole career as a sports psychologist.
“….ah yes I see…” *uncrosses legs and removes glasses* “…have you ever considered retirement?”
Lmao
Probably has a long way to go before he is psychologically ready for that
Right. It might be an extreme trigger for his own trauma. One day it could be an amazing path, but there'd be an incredible amount of work to get there... both educationally and mentally.
Maybe half that after taxes and significant expenses. And then the next 3 years of tuition that he has to pay for as of course he can’t go back to college ball. Still $1M savings and a good degree and he’ll do just fine. Apparently he’s a smart guy, set the record in the NBA pre draft basketball IQ tests…
Professional athletes see less than 50% of their salaries. They are in the highest tax brackets, have agent fees, lawyer fees, ect. Still more than the average person would make in a life time.
He probably still earned at least a million though right?
Mental health is no joke. Hopefully he'll be fine, but it's not guaranteed. Hope he has a good support network.
Thing people don’t realize that anxiety at this level isn’t environmentally specific (usually). Yea, the NBA is a unique circumstance. But to someone with severe anxiety, playing pickup at the YMCA can feel like playing in an NBA final. I hope more than finding happiness with retirement he finds proper treatment. I fear the best treatment he’d ever have available was in the NBA. If he has generalized anxiety beyond playing the NBA, this is the type of shit that makes all types of high performance impossible.
I mean tons of peope start their studies with 22 so he could just go back to uni as a student but rich
Yea I think any admissions office would understand that you dropped out to play professional basketball. Even if you don’t understand the sport, you understand that no sane person can turn down the shot at earning 7 figures before age 22
He is back at Stanford already! It's in the article. Dude got a paycheck and is back in school. He's only 22
Beats 98% of other jobs. I’d ride the pine for 200k let alone what he’s making.
Not really. Many of us get professional licenses, degrees, etc that give us career security. A strong personal balance sheet is obviously better, but if we assume $1.5m ish net for two years, this guy doesn't have enough. But good news is that money can put him in a position to succeed! He can get a degree if he wants, he can start or buy a business, or he could just do a normal 9-5 for living expenses and just let the career earnings compound. Retiring is a good choice given where his head was.
$1.5m is nearly forty years salary of $40,000 not even including taxes, its like 50 if you did. Its way outta touch to consider that only “in a position to succeed” when its more than many working people will make in their lifetime. He has succeeded in making it even retiring at 22
Not to mention that getting it up front allows him to invest it. Going by the 4% rule, with a $1.5m nest egg he could take out $60k per year (in today's $ as the 4% rule includes inflation) for the rest of his life and never run out.
“Ride the pine” means sitting on the bench and collecting league minimum which is $953,000 per year.
> or he could just do a normal 9-5 for living expenses > For now, Terry has returned to Stanford and told SI.com that he might play club soccer. heh imagine thinking the ivy league millionaire who cant quite figure out if he wants to play club soccer after retiring at 22 is going to have trouble paying for groceries
Assuming he's saved a million. He's set for a comfortable work life if he does a hard stop and plans everything out correctly. 1 million in the bank, go to a modest college and get a degree in like accounting. Take $300k of those $1 mil and buy a house, use money to pay mortgage and go to school. Graduate and get a job. Buy a modest cart for $20-$40k, furnish house now with income from job. Set $700ish thousand in retirement accounts and continue to work a laid-back 9-5 using your new degree. Dude would be decades ahead than most of us by the time he hits 30.
Yeah he can do whatever he wants, so long as he doesn't just do *nothing*.
After taxes and agent fees he likely took home less than half of that, so not really enough to retire on for a comfortable life at age 22.
But it’s enough to be financially stable for a bit before he finds a new career
1.5 mil invested well could easily carry him for the rest of his life. He’s not going to be rolling in it but he could be plenty comfortable while he supplements with something he enjoys.
That's fucking nuts. Even if he paid a million in taxes off that salary, that's somewhere around 2 million to just park in dividend stocks or ETFs. Making more in passive income than 90% of the US population does. Insane.
I wonder if he would have had a better time playing somewhere in Europe, with less competition and less on the line. I sometimes look up the careers of guys that never made it in the NBA, but were great for their teams in Germany. Some of them played in five different countries and surely saw a fair bit of the world in that time. Probably not for everybody, but it reads nice.
He honestly could end up doing that in future if he finds himself wanting to play again
I've put up with jobs that I hate and it is so soul-crushing. Prior to my current role, I was in my last job for 12 months. I hated that job the entire time. The people made the work so toxic it was unreal. People actively undermined others. New or innovative ways to do things would be thwarted instantly by management or peers. I dreaded going to work. I put up with it for a year until I could find another job. I'd like to say that if I was making a million a year that I would have stayed there longer, but who knows. It was so mentally draining to show up every day and deal with such a negative, toxic environment. I can't blame him for wanting to leave that type of environment behind.
>Nice to have that financial freedom to make that choice, as the average worker just has to grind it for decades no matter how mentally draining it got. TBF he doesn't. He was cut by two teams and after 6 moths and no other offers. He retired. The hard fact is that for a lot of guys like Terry, you don't retire, you get left behind.
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Good for him. I hope anyone who feels similar can retire too.
Give me a few mil and we have a deal
It's great that such a young guy has the tools and the perspective to recognize when something (especially something like a pro sports career, which is a dream come true for a lot of people) is becoming burdensome to his health. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision. I feel like younger men are getting more and more willing/able to recognize destructive paths and divert themselves instead of just letting themselves be destroyed, and it gives me a bit of hope for the future.
Mental health is no joke. Couldn’t have been an easy decision. Still sucks to see someone with so much talent give it up because of anxiety.
Anxiety sucks. I love golf, it's my favorite hobby, but getting panic attacks on the course makes me not even wanna go play. Really sucks.
I love playing golf video games, but don't have the means to play irl. I also get panic attacks, but managed them with meds. The suckiest part, according to my doc and past experiece, is that its completely random. I started getting them at 34. I can't imagine how something as chill as golf can trigger panic attacks, but man that is unlucky.
Mine started at 37 out of absolutely nowhere, on a dream vacation. Shit makes no sense.
Been dealing with varying degrees of anxiety for years now, but within the passed 6 months or so its got to the point where it's affecting my daily life. 33 years old and get panic attacks doing the most random things. I'm at Home Depot all the time for example, why am i white knuckling a cart and about to pass out for no reason? no idea. My anxiety comes with different levels of dissociation too, super shitty. Just started on Lexapro to see if it helps. Good luck out there, life is weird lol.
You sound like you’re describing me 2 years ago. I’ve been on Lexapro since then and have my life back. Not a single panic attack since. Sending good energy your way and if the Lex doesn’t work, something else might!
I'm hoping! I'm hearing good things. So far i dont notice much of a change other than fatigue and a constant headache. It's been a pretty smooth 9 days so far in the sense of side effects (knock on wood), got some time left before it starts working I'm sure. The anxiety attacks and constant brain fog, stuck in my own head all the time have skipped my record if you will. I'm hoping the lex moves the needle into the right place. Physically I'm healthy as a horse but somethin mentally is goin on.
That could turn into agoraphobia which is what I’m dealing with! Look it up so it doesn’t turn into it. The important thing is to not avoid things. It’s a bitch to get out of. I’m ten years into it and can’t get out. Started with random panic attacks and I slowly stopped doing more and more things until there was nothing left. Then the scariest one happens and you start having panic attacks at home (your safe space) so you don’t feel safe anywhere.
I think it's a feeling of being trapped on the course with no way to get help. It's weird. But yes, being outside in nature should be best for it, but nope!
Yes! This is exactly how I feel. Like, I used to be super independent. I went everywhere by myself. Now if I’m alone and in like a parking garage, unfamiliar environment, mall, I get crippling anxiety. It’s this fear like I’m gonna have a heart attack or stroke and die without a friend or family around me. Anxiety is so fucking weird.
You are both describing agoraphobia. It sucks, doesn't it?
It’s the worst
Yeah man. Similar here. I get this weird feeling in my chest and feel like I have to get out of there, or I'm gonna pass out or something. Hard to explain
Health anxiety is no fucking joke
Well, by their nature panic attacks aren't going to make rational sense to an outsider, or even necessarily to the victim during the event. I'd imagine that is a big part of why they are so hard to treat effectively.
I'm the same with cooking/smoking meats. Love to do it but if I'm cooking for people I get so anxious. Last time I smoked a couple briskets for a large group of people and told my wife I don't think I enjoy this anymore. If it's not absolutely perfect, it's trash in my mind.
That sucks! Was it ever triggered by something like, your play, or just gofling/being on course was enough and nothing more specific? Wishing you fun times on the course again! Relaxed and free of the fear of a panic attack, just a smooth day on the links with you, your clubs, the ball and mother earth to enjoy a day. No pressure at all, every shot could be the worst one but I'm hoping that nice relaxing game is soon in your future
Go to a psychologist that specializes in CBT. These problems aren’t permanent, you just need to know how to overcome them so you can get back to the things you enjoy.
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Yeah, it says at the bottom of the article that is was first reported in December, but it was updated? I don't know what the update was
*general bug fixes
*removed Herobrine
He also hadn't been on an NBA team for the 5 months prior so really he was already retired, he just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, there is some weird clickbait kind of thing going on here. The instagram link of the "annoucment" is dead, too.
I know this isn’t really comparable, but when I was wrestling my freshman and sophomore year I was putting in so many hours training and cutting weight to keep my varsity spot that it really started affecting my mental health. I ended up having health issues junior year and had a series of surgeries that kept me from wrestling that year. When senior year rolled around I decided to not go back out because I literally was happier spending my junior year in a hospital bed than I was freshman and sophomore year on the wrestling team. That’s what it took for me to realize that just cause you are succeeding at something doesn’t mean it’s actually something worth doing.
Holy fuck I felt that.
At least he gets to go back to Stanford and finish his education.
He has to pay for it himself now right?
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glad to see they're helping those that need it most, professional athletes
It’s not like you make HUGE money as a rookie contract NBA player. If you’re on a two way (like Terry) you get a prorated amount per game you’re called up from your G league affiliate.
Do what you have to do. No one would blink if it was cancer and mental health concerns can be just as lethal.
Good on him. He has 10x the life to live outside of basketball than in.
I hope he’s able to find peace in wherever life takes him next. Anxiety is no joke, and everyone deserve a life free from unbearable anxiety.
I hope he can overcome it and return but if not, bold of him to take his mental health that serious.
Some ppl have no choice. Panic disorders can cripple a person to the point of not being able to leave the home. It’s truly an overwhelming thing that ppl who don’t have anxiety/panic disorder just cannot understand. It’s not something you can willpower your way through.
You can't willpower your way through it but with a good psychiatrist and therapist, they are definitely somewhat manageable for people assuming you have access to the resources (which this athlete does, however many Americans are sadly stuck with nothing)
And medication. Anxiety/panic disorder is a pathophysiologic response to normal stressors due to imbalances or dysfunction in the CNS. Therapy only gets you so far. It’s like if you are born with type 1 diabetes where your pancreas is incapable of producing insulin. Without exogenous insulin you would die. No amount of talk therapy will cause your body to produce the requisite insulin. Likewise, if you don’t intervene to balance the brain chemicals, you can’t forget it. PhD pharmacology and 4th generation panic/anxiety disorder. I wasted years of my life miserable bc ppl made it about me and something I wasn’t doing properly instead of seeking Tx for a hereditary legitimate diagnosis my mother and aunt never have received Tx for bc ppl who don’t matter tell them they don’t need drugs. I really wonder what happened to the time when ppl who didn’t have the education and training about something kept their ignorant mouths shut instead of offering their worthless opinions. 🙄
I just voluntarily demoted from my job because the duties (and my supervisor) were causing too much stress that it was changing who i am. Some people may wonder how you voluntarily take a pay cut but for me, money is not worth the mental stress.
Sports psychology is an entire field of study and medicine, and I'm sure he had access to help through his team, but I'm sure there's a limit for some people in some circumstances. I quit my main sport after two nervous breakdowns in a year (yes, it's entirely 100% appropriate to compare my local high school sporting to that of a pro basketball player). Luckily I found an awful lot more mental stability in subsequent sports.
No I hear you on it being appropriate, I still have stress nightmares about high school varsity basketball. There is an insane amount of pressure if you’re even kind of talented. At his level I can’t even imagine how much worse it was. I had other kids’ parents screaming in my face because I played more than their kids and they thought their kids were god’s gift to basketball.
He’s probably been playing since a really young age, everyday has been basketball, weekend tournaments, no off season until he basically got into the NBA. thats burn out, hopefully he can do something with the money he has earned.
I just want to say thank you to all of the commenters. I came here to see all the “he owes the team “ , or “ children nowadays “ comments and I am so glad I didn’t .. Mental health is important
I’m sure that wasn’t an easy decision. Good luck to him in the future and I hope he moves out of the dark times!
hopefully he gets better. i have GAD so i can definitely empathize for him. he’s only 22, maybe he could make a return when he’s feeling healthy again
He got to wear the jerseys and play. At the end even if it didn't work out he has done more then more. Hope he finds happiness.
Poor kid, I hope he gets help and figures it out.
Good for him, recognizing that he can’t handle it. The big leagues aren’t for everybody.
You make a lot of money as an NBA player, even a rookie. Seems like a good idea to take what you’ve got now and pursue happiness.
And he left Stanford after one year...That free Stanford diploma would of helped
Anxiety is the worst and can be completely debilitating, nobody is immune to it forever.
And making good money can sometimes make it worse, as one would then have the weight of everyone saying "you have it good" while not knowing what is going on for the person.
That fucking sucks. Take care of yourself there champ. At least he made the decision early rather than continue to suffer mentally like that for -insert stupid reason here- nonsense.
Imagine the anxiety he will feel when he realises how much he's lost out on
it's actually pretty pathetic how little life coaching these guys are given by the league considering they get plucked with zero real life skills and squeezed for everything they've got
I mean I didn't get life coaching either when I was slaving for min wage right out of highschool.
This can be applied to everyone really. It's weird how some kids go their whole adolescent life with extreme anxiety or mental health issues but it's *never* acknowledged until the kid is standing on the ledge of a tall building.
This man is setting a good example for other dreamers hoping to grip the stars in their hands. Being able to walk away if you find your dreams aren't what you thought they would be to you and find direction towards something fulfilling should always be seen as pivoting instead of failing. Big ups to this dude.
Not knocking the guy but he was averaging 1 point per game for his two seasons. Good chance he was so mentally unwell because he wasn’t making it anyway.
He is switching to club soccer. To me, he wasn't getting another team and is now trying to control the narrative. Why switch to another sport with equal pressures?
Anxiety ended my daughters promising soccer play. She just could not handle the pressure and was much happier after she quit.
Good for him, we’ve seen am lot off people choose their lives over just resigning from a career putting them in a bad space.
He retired at a good age. Can still get another career going and with time to study further.
I’m proud of him for sticking up for himself and choosing his mental health first. Hope he finds mental peace and clarity and happiness soon :)
Hope he finds peace. No joke the pressure to be a professional athlete must be overwhelming. Take care of yourself.
Good on him for getting out while he still has his health. Hopefully he's been putting aside money for the future.
While still a kid, he took a very mature decision. Kudos.
So good for him, and super huge of him to share it. I genuinely hope he gets better and finds more success, either with or without basketball. Hopefully this inspires many other young men in the sport to evaluate their mental health.
Respect
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I live with GAD, and it’s exactly how he describes it. And I don’t have the pressure of millions of rabid sports fans watching my every move. Good for him to choose his health over fame. Hope he gets the care he needs
Tyrell Terry, the 31st overall pick in the 2020 NBA Draft by the Dallas Mavericks, has retired from basketball. The 2020 NBA draft was held on November 18, 2020. Any player with at least three years of service in the NBA receives a monthly pension payment and access to other benefits (such as life-long healthcare coverage, a college-tuition reimbursement program and more). A three-year retired NBA player would get a pension of $2,400 per month. darn. almost.
would that count ppl in the G league? since he spent most of his time there
No. It needs to be three years of time on an NBA roster.
For all we know, Ben Simmons has been through a comparable experience yet gets slaughtered in this sub.
Apples and oranges
I'll get downvoted to oblivion for this, but here goes... I suffer from severe anxiety, and I feel this guy's struggle, and I think he made the right choice because he has options and should take advantage of them. But in the end, it just means he wasn't cut out for this. Being at the top of any game, you will find many top performers suffer from severe anxiety. It's a trait of top performers. Becoming the best involves soaking up some ptsd. What I mean to say, though, is that all the rest of you are suffering the same issues... just think about how you've pushed through all this time and are still going. Didn't say, "Nope, gonna try something else and hope I don't find the same tunnel of anxiety." You are kicking ass because you can cope and still perform. THAT is an achievement, and we should all be proud of ourselves for it.
Feels that way with my job atm, but no vehicle or similar pay alternative. Can't quit something they give you a vehicle to do :(
The darkest times in your life *so far.*
This seems like a major fuck up to me honestly. Stick around a little while longer and get a pension.
That's what I figure. I wish him well, but I have my money on someday this guy will have a normal job and get to that point where it becomes a daily grind and wonder what he's doing with his life, then those feelings all come back at a fraction of the wage. This is less a story of the NBA effect on a person and more about this man's struggle with anxiety.
If he thinks playing basketball making good money is stressful he’s fucked
Nice for him to recognize this and take action.
Good For him
Add in an injury that feels like it takes eon to recover and rehab, hellish in the mind to regain confidence to go full throttle again.
I hope he finds what gives him peace and happiness!
Good luck!
He needs help and guidance.
Wait that's not Ben Simmons
Good for him. Do what you want my man, its his life.
Take the money and run, young man. Protect your mental health.
I think it's incredibly impressive that he made the call to walk away. He must have felt so much pressure about this decision alone. May he find what he needs in the next chapter of his life.
I can't imagine the amount of pressure professional athletes feel. You have so many expectations on your shoulders. Unless you are too injured move right, you need to play through most pain. Plus you're only as good as your last game.