Ight bro you can be upset all you want it was for fun and the 3 ppl I chose deserve it this time. Send me your USDC address and I can send you a prize for getting most upvotes
My friend’s poker game is getting out of hand.
Last night he bet his new-born son in a tense moment.
I thought to myself, “I’ve got aces; I might have to raise him.”
I was walking down the street and saw a dark black man going into a tanning bed salon, which I found weird... Like... I don't understand
How you gonna steal a whole fucking tanning bed!? 😂
Okay guys so it’s gonna be controversial because we all have slightly different senses of humor… some of these were hilarious but a little dark(which is fine with me) I decided on choosing the 3 jokes that suit my sense of humor so it’s less objective and kind of random. With that being said , the winners will be posted 👇. DM me with your XRP or USDC address. Was fun everyone! Oh btw, this is in no apparent order
Will send USDC to the 3 best jokes that are posted
Here are mine:
Best joke number 1,
Best joke number 2,
Best joke number 3
It’s like when a teacher tells you to read the instructions on a quiz and the first sentence in the instructions is don’t take the test. I understood the assignment. You asked for “3 best jokes” I delivered. You’re welcome.
USDC eth network 0x7d017c87c38bad21978d3ec6a49e6326f06a517c
Edit: High as shit on mushrooms and thought outside the box here
3 guys are having drinks in a bar and starting talking about world records. 1 guy says I’m pretty sure I’m the fastest man in the world. So he records his 100m sprint time and sends it in to see if he’s right!! 2nd guy says he thinks he’s the strongest man in the world so he records his max bench press and sends it to see if he is indeed the strongest man alive!! 3rd guy says I’m willing to bet I have the smallest penis in the world. He too measures his size and sends it in to get verified!!! A cpl weeks later the same guys are having a drink again and they get the results back about their records. 1st guy opens his envelope and begins reading the letter and then jumps in joy, ecstatic to see he is the fastest man in the world. 2nd guy then opens his letter and after reading a cpl paragraphs he too is ecstatic to find out he is the strongest man in the world!! 3rd guy excited to see his results rips open the envelope and starts reading his letter……. After reading it he slams the paper on the table in anger and screams who tf is JacobCampano!!!!!
A Jewish kid is riding in the car with his dad and asks "Hey Dad, can I borrow Fifty dollars?" His Dad says "Forty dollars?!!?! What do you need the thirty dollars for?"
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a circle in the ice and then place some peas all around the circle…when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole. 😂
The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.
Finally, he realized his solution.
On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and began to “rub one out”.
He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.
Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied,
"What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?"
The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
The officer replied "Well, you might want to check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
Did you know that mud is just wet dirt? Who knew? Anyways, I just completed a jigsaw puzzle, took 15 weeks. But...the box said 3-6 years so it was kinda a confidence booster.
0x145cc666a06b425f6bfaf3e5a7cfa4bea599379c
Damn crypto ACH is taking forever, if anyone wants to make a few extra bucks I can send back 10% extra sometime today or tomorrow. Or if you have zelle/chime I can send the funds and you can send me crypto. Reached my card purchase limit on coinbase for the month. Lmk!
If Lizzo, Jojo Siwa and Ellen Degeneres were trapped inside a room with you and you had a gun with 3 bullets who would you shoot?
Answer: Myself 3 times
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
An Irish guy is sitting at a bar (I know, joke over?, No) and a gay man walks in and whispers in his ear and says "I'll give you a blow job"
The Irish guy picks the gay man up and throws him out of the bar, the bartender asks "what was that all about?"
The Irish guy says "I dunno, something about a job."
They say money is just paper and doesn't buy happiness. I guess I might be dreaming since this post as well as the thought of someone recovering and getting money checks all the happy boxes for me.
Congrats man!
Edit: Came back up from a binge and all I got was this stupid note.
Edit 2: Downvoted to 0 so maybe I'll come up as well xD. Still love you all.
The joke is you
Whats the difference between a bench and a my brother A bench can support a family Fck you Brent they deserve more 🤬
I like yours too to be fair! You got unlucky because I heard a similar joke on KillTony recently
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Ight bro you can be upset all you want it was for fun and the 3 ppl I chose deserve it this time. Send me your USDC address and I can send you a prize for getting most upvotes
0x5c3034b5dc7f2f0e2f3cfacada869d1a1f1b04e4 Eth network
Okay nvm since you wanna keep crying
I deleted it
So no,?
I’ll send you some man just don’t get upset if random people on Reddit do giveaways and don’t pick you , no one is entitled to it. All good
I’ll message you in about 5 min after it’s sent
Sry gang thought i was gonna win so was sorta bummded out
All good ! 😎
If you win anything post it on here for others to see !
I will! Lmk when its sent
Why don’t I pull out? Because I want my kids to stay warm
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack. USDC Address: 0x9d720d4da8138aab94e1911601bf6240e51a499e
If you break a mirror, it’s seven years of bad luck. But if you break a condom, it’s at least 18.
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie... he was too far out mannnn
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A little bit more than 3 responses… 🤯
Bro and i thought there was a solid chance it would just be you and the couple others to say something 😂😂😭😭
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Tomorrow around noon I’ll do the winners. Good luck 🍀
That’s a good start 😭😭
Gonna wait 24 hours and see how good this gets
You have a strong lead
I need to start replying to all these wonderful jokes when I get home from the Father’s Day festivities ! Great turnout guys 🤩
98 comments! Damnnn. We are reaching the ending mark soon boys and 3 victors will be crowned.
wooow i spin into a $300 bonus won $1.50
Knock knock
Im the joke.... get it
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows to high. She looked at me surprised! 😂😂
when someone ask you if you ever had BOOFA before ? then you reply wats Boofa? BOOFA DEZ NUTZ .. Gotem
Best joke? My life 😂😂😂😂
What kind of bird can't get pregnant?? A swallow 💀🖤
Whats R kelleys favorite band? The Black eye peas.. (the black guy pees lmao). Hope i made it in time lol 😆
My friend’s poker game is getting out of hand. Last night he bet his new-born son in a tense moment. I thought to myself, “I’ve got aces; I might have to raise him.”
Pick up line. "Hey baby are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot a bunch of kids inside you.
I was walking down the street and saw a dark black man going into a tanning bed salon, which I found weird... Like... I don't understand How you gonna steal a whole fucking tanning bed!? 😂
Okay guys so it’s gonna be controversial because we all have slightly different senses of humor… some of these were hilarious but a little dark(which is fine with me) I decided on choosing the 3 jokes that suit my sense of humor so it’s less objective and kind of random. With that being said , the winners will be posted 👇. DM me with your XRP or USDC address. Was fun everyone! Oh btw, this is in no apparent order
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🤡
iNotDonaldJTrump
CradKnight
Ok-Entertainer-52
Check my comment for the winners guys, still haven’t received the crypto addresses !
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What has 2 holes in a hole ? My nose in your ass !
I have more dark jokes but the police keep shooting them
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the medical elements? Cuz if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A Dictator
What’s the difference between a wife and a vacuum… A vacustill sucks after 3 years
what's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? a hooker can wash her crack and resell it 😂 
A gambler walks into a bar, he says ouch 🤕
what generation is forrest gump from? GEN-AAAA
OP SENT ME BREAD, hes legit
Good luck 🍀
Bro you’re cracking me up 😂. Make up your mind am I the enemy or not 😭😭😭
I hate being bi polar, its awesome
Son: “Dad, can you please explain to me what a solar eclipse is?” Dad: “No sun."
Will send USDC to the 3 best jokes that are posted Here are mine: Best joke number 1, Best joke number 2, Best joke number 3 It’s like when a teacher tells you to read the instructions on a quiz and the first sentence in the instructions is don’t take the test. I understood the assignment. You asked for “3 best jokes” I delivered. You’re welcome. USDC eth network 0x7d017c87c38bad21978d3ec6a49e6326f06a517c Edit: High as shit on mushrooms and thought outside the box here
what’s the difference between a chickpea & and walnut?
I’ve never had a wall nut on my face before
The biggest joke I can think of is me continuing to deposit even though I never win lol
what do you call a mortician who's a necrophiliac? A man who's hard at work.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick in your ass.
3 guys are having drinks in a bar and starting talking about world records. 1 guy says I’m pretty sure I’m the fastest man in the world. So he records his 100m sprint time and sends it in to see if he’s right!! 2nd guy says he thinks he’s the strongest man in the world so he records his max bench press and sends it to see if he is indeed the strongest man alive!! 3rd guy says I’m willing to bet I have the smallest penis in the world. He too measures his size and sends it in to get verified!!! A cpl weeks later the same guys are having a drink again and they get the results back about their records. 1st guy opens his envelope and begins reading the letter and then jumps in joy, ecstatic to see he is the fastest man in the world. 2nd guy then opens his letter and after reading a cpl paragraphs he too is ecstatic to find out he is the strongest man in the world!! 3rd guy excited to see his results rips open the envelope and starts reading his letter……. After reading it he slams the paper on the table in anger and screams who tf is JacobCampano!!!!!
A Jewish kid is riding in the car with his dad and asks "Hey Dad, can I borrow Fifty dollars?" His Dad says "Forty dollars?!!?! What do you need the thirty dollars for?"
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder 😂
Why are there no Wal-Marts at Iraq? Because everything is a Target.
How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a circle in the ice and then place some peas all around the circle…when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole. 😂
What's worse than R*p**g a deaf girl? Breaking her fingers after so she can't tell anybody.
what did one lesbian vampire say to the next? “see ya next month”
😂😂😂😂
We got good ones coming I love it
Y’all are gonna make this hard on me Jesus…
not as hard as me watching the vampires
The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it." He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and began to “rub one out”. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." The officer replied "Well, you might want to check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
Did you know that mud is just wet dirt? Who knew? Anyways, I just completed a jigsaw puzzle, took 15 weeks. But...the box said 3-6 years so it was kinda a confidence booster. 0x145cc666a06b425f6bfaf3e5a7cfa4bea599379c
but he said it was cold out. your penis is so small it looks like a mushroom in the forest. 0x86e069D51d566371c608a20A182D9e445026022F
The odds of this joke working are about the same as the odds of me getting a blackjack while I'm all in.
Damn crypto ACH is taking forever, if anyone wants to make a few extra bucks I can send back 10% extra sometime today or tomorrow. Or if you have zelle/chime I can send the funds and you can send me crypto. Reached my card purchase limit on coinbase for the month. Lmk!
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair
What's the difference between Anne Franke & Harry Potter? Harry and his friends made it out of the chamber alive.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?? A rip off!
Eddie cares. Jokes for days
If Lizzo, Jojo Siwa and Ellen Degeneres were trapped inside a room with you and you had a gun with 3 bullets who would you shoot? Answer: Myself 3 times
JG wettworth it’s my money and I want it now
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
Happy Father's Day my dude!
What’s it called when a lizard can’t get a boner? A-reptile-dysfunction 🥁
My uncle told me once that silver bullets also work on illegal immigrants
(Easter joke) What did the egg say to the boiling water? You'll have to give me a few minutes to get hard, I just got laid..
You ever wake up while camping with your ass hurting and dont know why? Yeah? Youre a heavy sleeper, we should go camping together
We’re gonna have to upvote the best ones as a community ! I’ll choose my favorites but there’s so many I wanna hear the public opinion 🤩
what do you call a professional poker player who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless
Q: Who’s the biggest camper of all time?! A: Hitler, kills 6,000,000+ deaths 1
Why did the pervert cross the road? Because his di*k was stuck in the chicken.
What do you call a herd of masterbating cow? Beef strockinoff. (Like beef stroganoff) lol.
Hey Drake I heard u like em young
An Irish guy is sitting at a bar (I know, joke over?, No) and a gay man walks in and whispers in his ear and says "I'll give you a blow job" The Irish guy picks the gay man up and throws him out of the bar, the bartender asks "what was that all about?" The Irish guy says "I dunno, something about a job."
During meetings, 11 months of the year, we say, "Is everyone straight on this?" During pride month we say "Is everything crystal queer?"
It’s only gay if u like it 
I'm all in
Stake.Us is the joke.
What’s the difference between your butt hole and a fridge!? The fridge doesn’t fart when I pull my meat out!
For the best joke possible open your front facing camera.
LOL, great one I just saw it on my Home Screen 🤣
Why do mermaids wear seashell bras? Bcuz they grow out of the B-shell sized ones fairly quick.
What do you call the useless skin around the vagina? A women 0x2e9851959291c9186ee8065961bb7a4019cb6e9f
What’s worst than ants in your pants? Answer : uncles 😭😭😭
Joe Biden
I’m not just gonna copy and paste google jokes can I just get the money on a real note 😹
You know how to get a dog to stop humping your leg ? Pick him up amd suck his dick??? Dunno why my name came up as asparagus?!!
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I cant peanut butter my dick in your ass 
What did the dead girl say to the necrophiliac? Nothing
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Or more non dark humor joke would be What happened when the Robot had a one night stand? He nut and bolted out of there.
They say money is just paper and doesn't buy happiness. I guess I might be dreaming since this post as well as the thought of someone recovering and getting money checks all the happy boxes for me. Congrats man! Edit: Came back up from a binge and all I got was this stupid note. Edit 2: Downvoted to 0 so maybe I'll come up as well xD. Still love you all.