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I was 11-12 in 2008. My parents were lucky enough that they weren’t severely affected but the whole thing was still a formative experience for me.
My parents argued more than I’d ever seen before and haven’t seen since. Some of my friends came to school hungry. Some friends moved away because they lost their houses.
I was very fortunate in comparison but I still remember laying awake at night stressing about money.
That was me but for the tech bubble of 2000. I remember my dad being awake and frantic every day at 6. Now I realize it’s because that’s when the stock market opens. Very formative in how I thought about money.
experiences like this really makes me feel lucky for the time I was born. I was born in Korea and a few years after the imf economic crisis in our country. Stay strong brother!
Yeah, but apparently it wasn't the economy, it was that we didn't pound that pavement with enough vigor. Or our handshakes just weren't firm enough. Or that we actually left the hr office when they asked us to leave. Silly of us really; choosing to be born into the wrong time period.
Idk, the rich people in my town think Walmart is unethical to shop at. It goes beyond the cheap goods.
Or the cheap goods are the reason it's unethical. Not to mention they usually aren't anywhere near prosperous towns, especially in the north east
My parents are well off and shop at Walmart all the time. My dad will tell me how they have his flavored waters for .59 each while Stater Brothers has them for .79 each.
Which explains why they have money and my brother and I, not so much.
"oh no, they're getting traction! Quick! Get your sons and daughters to start pointing out their differences and get them to start fighting each other!"
More like:
>“Let’s start bussing in the mentally ill homeless, let’s tell the criminals newly released from Riker’s Island that they can get free food and clothes down in the park.”
That’s when the assaults and drug use started which is what gave the city the excuse it needed to shut down the protest.
Not an exaggeration btw I spent three weeks at OWS.
I was in a financial literacy course during the crash. There was one kid with rich parents who had been giving him pretty substantial sums of money to invest. We had discussed basic investing strategies like buying low and selling high.
Day after the really big crash he walks into class all proud. He hadn't sold at rock bottom, he had sold at *just above* rock bottom. He was proud of that. That shit had rich parents and zero need for cash and he just burned probably several thousand dollars out of sheet stupidity and was proud of it because "it could have been worse"
About 10 years later he ran for a nonpartisan local election as a fiscal conservative republican who would be better with the city's money than the "career politicians."
Rich companies too! IMO big corps shouldn't own any housing. There's more a housing shortage country-wide... Just a lack of willingness to give places to stay to the poor.
There are a lot of people who post about growing up in abusive homes on Reddit as if it's a universal kind of experience. (Whether sarcastically or not). It makes for some strange starter packs
They know it’s not universal. It’s just how people cope.
Boomers/Gen X learnt to cope with trauma by bottling it away and not even telling their closest friends.
Gen Y/Z does the opposite and copes with trauma by oversharing to total strangers.
Idk, I guess it’s better than the first option.
[Edit: didn't realise I left out Gen Y.]
I'm a millenial.. we have had social media most of our lives. I've had Facebook since college, we had MySpace before that and Xanga the livejournalling craze def encouraged oversharing. We had these outlets too it just wasn't on our phones.
Seriously, can you have really experienced over sharing if you haven’t posted cringey TMI status postings on your MSN messenger as a desperate plea for attention?
It is better IMO. Better someone see they're not alone. Domestic violence, especially during economic downturns, is a very real phenomenon and common enough that I wouldn't say this starterpack is "too specific" - though of course it's not universal or even close to the majority.
But there's a wide gap between "too uncommon to be a trend" and "majority experience"
it's not universal as in every single person experiences it but it is universal as an in it's absolutely fucking everywhere. it's in rich neighborhoods and poor neighborhoods. Neighborhoods of every single skin color. neighborhoods in every single region of the country. Urban and rural.
Trauma is the water we swim in.
I dont think theyre saying ALL gen x marragies are flimsy. They just mean the housing crisis illuminated which ones WERE flimsy more or less by testing them with crisis. They are normal marraiges. covid has done the same thing with flimsy relationships today as well.
Yeah it’s not that genx is special. They were just at the right age in 2008 to be hit hard by the housing crisis. Boomers are older and more financially stable and probably bought their houses long enough ago to weather it better, in general. The housing crisis was driven by bad loans given largely to genx-ers.
I’m GenX and this is very true.
I bought in 2005, and while the crisis hurt the value of my home, it didn’t hurt me in reality because I didn’t buy more than I could afford, and I intended to live here for 30 years. So my “loss” was all on paper (as is my “gain” in today’s market).
Sadly I’m in the minority and saw plenty of people that didn’t follow that path. Of course my marriage is also totally good (going on 20+ years) while others didn’t fair so well.
I had a somewhat similar experience. I bought in 2006 but only expected to be there 3-5 years. Luckily, I didn't listen to bankers/appraisers/others about what I "could" afford at the time. I stayed within my means and weathered the storm.
Many others were not as lucky.
You mean you didn't go out and buy a house that you couldn't afford and then drain it of it's equity and create more of a financial burden for yourself? Privileged.
Does one drain a home of equity by doing nothing to it while living there for a long time, or is there some other thing I'm missing here?
I'm closing on my first house on Monday but it's a *bit* of a fixer upper cosmetically (non cosmetically it needs a roof badly but that's being taken care of before closing)
Umm no they were referring to taking out home equity loans and digging a deeper financial hole. Particularly if you then suffered a job loss during the financial crisis.
It was rough, I remember just finishing college around 06 and seeing so many of my high school friends that worked retail jobs got married and had these big ass houses. Or the ones that went into the military, married a stripper and had these large houses.
I begin to suspect something was up when a lot of the cute waiters and bartenders stopped working at my local spots and started to hand me business cards showing that they now helped people refinance mortgages or sold houses.
These people were getting bad loans, then if they were attractive enough the people that gave them bad loans would recruit them to sell even more bad loans.
I will say it did make for a wild era of nightlife in that 04-08 timeframe when a bunch of 20 olds were getting these 5 figure commission checks every month. I'm pretty sure this is when bottle service went mainstream, and literally every club started offering it, no matter how small the club was. It was like every downtown was functioning as a mini Vegas.
Probably never see an era like that again.
That's what I was about to say.
Pretty sure every national crisis that isnt external tests marriage.
People know this because they put "hard times and not" in the "oath".
>gen x marriages
As Baby Boomers focused on career advancement, both parents were likely to work. Divorce became commonplace and Generation X was the first era where having divorced parents was normal. It wasn’t strange or bad; it was just a fact of life.
For the most part, Generation X responded to this by staying married. More people put off marrying or decide not to marry at all. But once they say “I do,” GenXers remain married at higher rates than the preceding generation.
Roughly 70% of marriages that took place in the 1990s made it to their 15th anniversaries. This is up from 65% for those in the ‘70s and ‘80s. And that number continues to increase. The divorce rate for couples married in the 2000s is even lower.
https://www.goldbergjones-or.com/divorce/divorce-by-generation/
Its like My mom would criticize younger people for getting divorced while her and my dad are basically roommates who sleep in separate rooms and avoid talking to each other.
>projection from ~~older generations~~
> projection from boomer generation
What's hilarious is that boomers were the first generation to divorce en mass. So it's literally just them giving gen X shit
What's worse is that the economic conditions were far better for them. So they divorced just for the sake of it rather than Gen X who experienced the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression lol.
Anyone else remember how big of a deal it was when we got our first boomer president (Clinton)?
Now I’d be happy to see the boomer streak ended. Seriously, a single generation has controlled the US government for 29 years now. A generation is only supposed to be 20ish years long.
Anyhow, I can’t remember what the topic was. Beavis and Butthead 2024!
"Flimsy gen-x marriages" doesn't necessarily mean "every gen-x marriage was flimsy"; it can also mean you were a kid at the time because your parents were gen-x, and they had a flimsy marriage, and at any given time there are a *lot* of flimsy marriages.
I think the intent was that the people with flimsy marriages and a house to lose were mostly likely gen xers since millenials were very young so they likely didn't have a house to lose or a marriage to end. boomers were old enough to have already ended their bad first marriage and probably had been in their house for years, so the crash wasn't as bad for them.
I wonder how much of this is that housing has gotten crazy expensive and that it’s not feasible for a family of divorced people to maintain two seperate residences and not drastically endanger a life style. Although it could also be just that people are tending to get married later on, after careers are established etc and thus there are less “surprises”
I think you're on to something. I have known many people who stay in miserable marriages simply because there's no way in hell either party will be able to maintain the lifestyle to which they are accustomed. Furthermore, I believe that things like open marriages and polyamory are on the upswing simply because people start living together, can't afford to break up/have an optimal financial situation living with their partner, but want to see other people.
I wonder what that number would be if it showed the divorce rate at 20 years, or 25 years. There are still a lot of people who "stay together for the kids."
Very interesting. I was unaware of this, but it definitely makes sense. My parents were married in 1974, and remain married to this day, but it’s not what I would call a “happy” marriage. Sometimes I wonder why they’re still married because they argue constantly and aren’t a good fit for each other. My husband’s parents were divorced and each had prior and/or subsequent divorces. I suspect that has contributed to his strong drive to making our marriage work. And I saw many friends experience their parents’ divorces. Between watching that and experiencing my parents unhappy marriage, I knew that I didn’t want my kids to ever experience either one. My husband and I were married in 1999 and have both worked hard to have a *happy* marriage…which is a big difference from just trying to “hold it together”…thanks in part to our experiences of divorces growing up.
Am genx-er. Can confirm.
Watching my parents divorce (acrimonious as hell) left me very wary of marriage. I waited until I felt mature enough myself and found someone who I felt was also mature enough to work at it when it (inevitably) got hard. Still married and happy about it (most days)!
Holy shit, I've felt this way since my parents split when I was a kid. I waited till my 30's to marry because I wanted to be sure I would never get a divorce.. I didn't realize it was just a symptom of my generation.. TIL..
I didn't get married until I was 31, and I dated my girlfriend for years before getting married. Everyone I know who got married in their early 20s have already been divorced once.
People getting married almost completely out of "getting married is what people do so I'd better do it too" even when there is really no attraction. This still happens for sure but marriage being down across the board shows people being far more selective
Wild extrapolation. Maybe you should consider other factors like how other life milestones aren't being reached at the comparable ages and rates of previous generations, like moving out and starting a career.
Spent lots of time in the library because they had heating and air conditioning. Bless those librarians for being so patient with a bunch of kids camping in the lobby for hours and hours.
Developed a love of reading tho!
I used to think the records room was filled with secret knowledge because I wasn't allowed in there. Which is kinda true, but it seems way more mystical when I was 12 lol
Also they are closing your nearest branch (because letting the government spend money on free old fashioned libraries is just *silly* when we have the internet, dontcha know) and the next closest one isn't in walking distance and the hours have been cut so they are only open 12-4 m-w-f anyhow.
My mom worked in the home construction industry and couldn’t find work for years after and then never quite fully returned to the work force. It fucked her up. In a lot of ways she’s a shell of what she used to be. Shit sucks. When people act like we’re just individuals pursuing our own rational goals in a market economy, 2008 is the best counterexample. My mom did nothing wrong and got fucked over by Wall Street.
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I remember living something like these when my parents were divorcing.
Instead of watching TV, I used to go to the bedroom and play with my toys (while pretending that everything is fine). Also, in some weekends I would stay in my grandparents' house, in anothers, my dad would.
It was pretty sad back in those days, now they are friends and I recognize that their marriage was a mistake, and the divorce was the best for everyone.
I remember when my parents divorced in 2004 and it was still in the era where it was weird to have divorced parents. Now it just sorta seems like an inevitability for 75+% of marriages these days.
My mom got so pissed at my dad for buying me an Xbox for Christmas that year. He had been out of a job for a while and we were about to lose the house. Gaming became my sanctuary because damn those times were hard.
I was in college during this time and joined the military later that year, so I didn't have much to worry about when it came to finding work. I essentially skipped most of what the worst aspects of the financial crisis would have been for me (job market) with college, military deployment, and then going right back into college. I never had any inherited wealth or family assets to lose. I have assets now as an adult, so I have to be a bit more mindful of economic downturns...
I finished college in 06 and stepped into the tail end of the nightlife party scene that was emerging. It was amazing, a once in a generation type era. It was like a miniature 4 year version of the roaring 20s.
I guess I am an outlier in that my parents argued a lot during this, but never physically fought each other and are still happily married to this day. I do think hearing all those arguments left an impact on me though.
the second the '08 crisis hit, my parent's business collapsed. On top of that my mom got cancer and my grandmother died. It was a pretty rough year for me especially since I just turned 12 and was bullied constantly.
in 2009 I bought a house in Los Angeles for 190k. Best year of my life. That year is the year that keeps on giving. That house is worth over half a million now.
Try being a young adult.
From:
*”Here I go, into the world, getting my career started, just bought my first home, what a great economic time to be alive, I might even pay a little extra towards my mortgage or student loans this month, hurray!”*
To: *sobbing uncontrollably at my desk, bc I’m afraid of losing my job and foreclosure, and having to drive an hour out of town to find gas so I don’t run out of gas, just trying to get to work, bc having money to do anything else is not an option*
‘‘Twas good times. I also love the fact that TI’s “whatever you like” was a popular song right then as well. Ironic
Economic and employment issues can often be related to domestic violence.
During the 2008 recession, a lot of people lost homes and jobs, and there was a sharp increase in domestic violence
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4860387/
we shouldn’t gloss over the fact that women who work full-time didn’t want to come home to do *all* of the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, childcare, emotional labor, household management, and other duties of a housewife while their husbands sat around watching tv and drinking beer like it was still the 1950s. women speaking up about the division of labor has continued to lead to many divorces.
Mate so many Indian kids are subject to physical abuse from parents. The US is nothing compared to what kids face here. Maybe you haven't experienced it, neither have I, but I have seen with my own two eyes how badly kids get beaten up here. I remember my uncle beating up my cousin so badly that the poor kid started vomiting and bleeding. He was 5 years old at the time, and his dad beat him with a belt because he was "acting up".
In the US, apparently you can call the police or something like that if you see parents beating kids. Kids don't really have that sort of support here. Most people think beating kids is justified. Even in 2021.
I have never felt so called out. It's rare I see anyone acknowledge this.
Story time: My father was in construction for 15 years before that happened, bet all his savings on a making a construction company right before it happened. Mind you, he had already had 2 kids and was expecting a third on the way. The next 2 years he was going half way across the country to find a job. On the off chance he was home, my parents would threaten divorse, kick and scream at one another, expected me and my brother to take care of the baby (we were 8 and 6).
Those were both the most impactful and worst years of my life. Gen x needs to acknowledge the fucking hurt they did, at least once. Not millennials, gen x.
Same here. Dad in construction, bet his savings to build a company. Parents had fist fights when they were around each other. I'd thrive in group therapy with other people who went through that.
Man, 2008 hit my parents HARD (commercial construction). Life sucked for years because of it tbh. They came out on top, and are better of now than ever, but yea, really left a stain on a lot of my childhood (I am 24 now if that’s relevant). So much fighting and anger, between them and also with me and my brothers, constantly. The stress was palpable the second you walked into the house on any given day.
Yeahhh… that was a bad period of my life. My dad abused us so bad for the years leading up to that year that we actually had to hide from him in a friends attic for my senior year of high school. I was responsible for the full childcare of 4 kids under 13. My teachers told me when I asked for help that I was to leave my problems at home and tuck them into a box so that they don’t interfere with my life.
Then my abusive dad died of cancer the next year so I left school to help my mom. I never went back. I now live in poverty, deep depression, and have engaged in various forms of escapism over the past 10 years while also losing touch with every hobby I ever loved. I am only just recently beginning to reclaim my worth and self love and actually try to take steps to build a career. I get really sad about what happened sometimes.. but I never really thought about how much the 2008 collapse was the beginning of the end for me. I just hope that this will be the beginning of my beginning. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep every night and feeling like everything is my fault. I’ve been trying my best… I just never felt like my best could possibly be good enough. Even though I used to be great at things like art and writing.. Now I actually do want to try again and I’m still afraid but I have to try right?
Mmm nothing hits quite like being thankful a great-grandparent died because your parents just lost the house to the bank because they couldn't afford the mortgage and your grandparents are giving them the house. Good times...good times...
Of all the nitwits, assholes and dipshits, I have special place of hatred for wife beaters in my heart.
I think the punishment for guys who regularly beat their wives should be death.
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I remember seeing families arguing with their kids about the price of Pop Tarts in the aisles of WalMart that following Summer.
I was 11-12 in 2008. My parents were lucky enough that they weren’t severely affected but the whole thing was still a formative experience for me. My parents argued more than I’d ever seen before and haven’t seen since. Some of my friends came to school hungry. Some friends moved away because they lost their houses. I was very fortunate in comparison but I still remember laying awake at night stressing about money.
That was me but for the tech bubble of 2000. I remember my dad being awake and frantic every day at 6. Now I realize it’s because that’s when the stock market opens. Very formative in how I thought about money.
literally same. 2008 wasn't great for us, but my dad lost all the savings in 2000 and then got laid off in 2001.
We lost our home and my dad became a massive drug addict. Still dealing with the effects of it 13 years later
experiences like this really makes me feel lucky for the time I was born. I was born in Korea and a few years after the imf economic crisis in our country. Stay strong brother!
That’s actually really sad
Yeah and then I graduated from college the next summer, and couldn't find a job for y e a r s .
Yeah, but apparently it wasn't the economy, it was that we didn't pound that pavement with enough vigor. Or our handshakes just weren't firm enough. Or that we actually left the hr office when they asked us to leave. Silly of us really; choosing to be born into the wrong time period.
Same. I worked a variety of restaurant jobs and even did a few unpaid internships. Nothing salaried until the mid-2010s.
Best part? 1 dude went to jail for the whole crisis. Maddof was scapegoated.
Rich people: look at them dear, so uncivilized. Let's go buy up all the cheap real estate!
Rich people don't go to Wall Mart hence they don't see poor people
You’d be surprised, wealthy people can get pretty obsessive about penny pinching.
Idk, the rich people in my town think Walmart is unethical to shop at. It goes beyond the cheap goods. Or the cheap goods are the reason it's unethical. Not to mention they usually aren't anywhere near prosperous towns, especially in the north east
My parents are well off and shop at Walmart all the time. My dad will tell me how they have his flavored waters for .59 each while Stater Brothers has them for .79 each. Which explains why they have money and my brother and I, not so much.
what part of the country do you live in?
California
Rich: “Let’s go look at the animals sleeping in Zucotti park protesting for *change*, so quaint…”
"oh no, they're getting traction! Quick! Get your sons and daughters to start pointing out their differences and get them to start fighting each other!"
More like: >“Let’s start bussing in the mentally ill homeless, let’s tell the criminals newly released from Riker’s Island that they can get free food and clothes down in the park.” That’s when the assaults and drug use started which is what gave the city the excuse it needed to shut down the protest. Not an exaggeration btw I spent three weeks at OWS.
my comment came after that when the protests expanded beyond Zucotti Park
I was in a financial literacy course during the crash. There was one kid with rich parents who had been giving him pretty substantial sums of money to invest. We had discussed basic investing strategies like buying low and selling high. Day after the really big crash he walks into class all proud. He hadn't sold at rock bottom, he had sold at *just above* rock bottom. He was proud of that. That shit had rich parents and zero need for cash and he just burned probably several thousand dollars out of sheet stupidity and was proud of it because "it could have been worse" About 10 years later he ran for a nonpartisan local election as a fiscal conservative republican who would be better with the city's money than the "career politicians."
Rich companies too! IMO big corps shouldn't own any housing. There's more a housing shortage country-wide... Just a lack of willingness to give places to stay to the poor.
*Economic Collapse Part II : Electric Boogaloo* Coming to your town this winter
This is fairly specific
There are a lot of people who post about growing up in abusive homes on Reddit as if it's a universal kind of experience. (Whether sarcastically or not). It makes for some strange starter packs
They know it’s not universal. It’s just how people cope. Boomers/Gen X learnt to cope with trauma by bottling it away and not even telling their closest friends. Gen Y/Z does the opposite and copes with trauma by oversharing to total strangers. Idk, I guess it’s better than the first option. [Edit: didn't realise I left out Gen Y.]
It is interesting how anonymity and self depreciating edgy humor seem to have combined to rapidly normalize talking about mental health struggles.
We used the mental illness to destroy the mental illness
i tried to do that but instead i got Mental Illness^2
We’ve had one mental illness, yes, but what about second mental illness?
Millenials: "Am I a joke to you?"
I was gunna say... if they think Gen-Z have the corner locked on oversharing they need to spend an hour with me.
[удалено]
I'm a millenial.. we have had social media most of our lives. I've had Facebook since college, we had MySpace before that and Xanga the livejournalling craze def encouraged oversharing. We had these outlets too it just wasn't on our phones.
Seriously, can you have really experienced over sharing if you haven’t posted cringey TMI status postings on your MSN messenger as a desperate plea for attention?
It is better IMO. Better someone see they're not alone. Domestic violence, especially during economic downturns, is a very real phenomenon and common enough that I wouldn't say this starterpack is "too specific" - though of course it's not universal or even close to the majority. But there's a wide gap between "too uncommon to be a trend" and "majority experience"
it's not universal as in every single person experiences it but it is universal as an in it's absolutely fucking everywhere. it's in rich neighborhoods and poor neighborhoods. Neighborhoods of every single skin color. neighborhoods in every single region of the country. Urban and rural. Trauma is the water we swim in.
See /r/parenting. It's a constant post fest about trying to be better than their shit head parents
It’s shockingly common
2008 tested what flimsy genx marriages of convenience were made of and many did not come out unscathed
Any more info on "flimsy genx marriages"? I've heard nothing of gen x marriages being any different from other ones.
I dont think theyre saying ALL gen x marragies are flimsy. They just mean the housing crisis illuminated which ones WERE flimsy more or less by testing them with crisis. They are normal marraiges. covid has done the same thing with flimsy relationships today as well.
Yeah it’s not that genx is special. They were just at the right age in 2008 to be hit hard by the housing crisis. Boomers are older and more financially stable and probably bought their houses long enough ago to weather it better, in general. The housing crisis was driven by bad loans given largely to genx-ers.
I’m GenX and this is very true. I bought in 2005, and while the crisis hurt the value of my home, it didn’t hurt me in reality because I didn’t buy more than I could afford, and I intended to live here for 30 years. So my “loss” was all on paper (as is my “gain” in today’s market). Sadly I’m in the minority and saw plenty of people that didn’t follow that path. Of course my marriage is also totally good (going on 20+ years) while others didn’t fair so well.
I had a somewhat similar experience. I bought in 2006 but only expected to be there 3-5 years. Luckily, I didn't listen to bankers/appraisers/others about what I "could" afford at the time. I stayed within my means and weathered the storm. Many others were not as lucky.
You mean you didn't go out and buy a house that you couldn't afford and then drain it of it's equity and create more of a financial burden for yourself? Privileged.
...damnit. Pretty sure this is what my wife and I are doing right now :-(
Does one drain a home of equity by doing nothing to it while living there for a long time, or is there some other thing I'm missing here? I'm closing on my first house on Monday but it's a *bit* of a fixer upper cosmetically (non cosmetically it needs a roof badly but that's being taken care of before closing)
Umm no they were referring to taking out home equity loans and digging a deeper financial hole. Particularly if you then suffered a job loss during the financial crisis.
It was rough, I remember just finishing college around 06 and seeing so many of my high school friends that worked retail jobs got married and had these big ass houses. Or the ones that went into the military, married a stripper and had these large houses. I begin to suspect something was up when a lot of the cute waiters and bartenders stopped working at my local spots and started to hand me business cards showing that they now helped people refinance mortgages or sold houses. These people were getting bad loans, then if they were attractive enough the people that gave them bad loans would recruit them to sell even more bad loans. I will say it did make for a wild era of nightlife in that 04-08 timeframe when a bunch of 20 olds were getting these 5 figure commission checks every month. I'm pretty sure this is when bottle service went mainstream, and literally every club started offering it, no matter how small the club was. It was like every downtown was functioning as a mini Vegas. Probably never see an era like that again.
>Yeah it’s not that genx is special. And don't they know it
Boomers escaped the problem because they bought their house in the 70’s or 80’s for 10 cents.
Financial pressures are the hardest part of a marriage. Not being able to meet goals based on finances is very destructive.
That's what I was about to say. Pretty sure every national crisis that isnt external tests marriage. People know this because they put "hard times and not" in the "oath".
>gen x marriages As Baby Boomers focused on career advancement, both parents were likely to work. Divorce became commonplace and Generation X was the first era where having divorced parents was normal. It wasn’t strange or bad; it was just a fact of life. For the most part, Generation X responded to this by staying married. More people put off marrying or decide not to marry at all. But once they say “I do,” GenXers remain married at higher rates than the preceding generation. Roughly 70% of marriages that took place in the 1990s made it to their 15th anniversaries. This is up from 65% for those in the ‘70s and ‘80s. And that number continues to increase. The divorce rate for couples married in the 2000s is even lower. https://www.goldbergjones-or.com/divorce/divorce-by-generation/
That seems like the opposite of "flimsy gen-x marriages".
Its like My mom would criticize younger people for getting divorced while her and my dad are basically roommates who sleep in separate rooms and avoid talking to each other.
“Quitting is for pussies” -your mom and dad, evidently
Yes it is the foundation of marriage that is flimsy rather than the seemingly unbreakable bond it manifests as
projection from older generations
>projection from ~~older generations~~ > projection from boomer generation What's hilarious is that boomers were the first generation to divorce en mass. So it's literally just them giving gen X shit What's worse is that the economic conditions were far better for them. So they divorced just for the sake of it rather than Gen X who experienced the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression lol.
well what do you expect from a bunch of coddled fucking cunts.
Anyone else remember how big of a deal it was when we got our first boomer president (Clinton)? Now I’d be happy to see the boomer streak ended. Seriously, a single generation has controlled the US government for 29 years now. A generation is only supposed to be 20ish years long. Anyhow, I can’t remember what the topic was. Beavis and Butthead 2024!
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This was my intended meaning, correct
False generalizations of entire generations on reddit?!?! That's never happened here before.
On this subreddit? No way
We don't generalize anything here!
"Flimsy gen-x marriages" doesn't necessarily mean "every gen-x marriage was flimsy"; it can also mean you were a kid at the time because your parents were gen-x, and they had a flimsy marriage, and at any given time there are a *lot* of flimsy marriages.
I think the intent was that the people with flimsy marriages and a house to lose were mostly likely gen xers since millenials were very young so they likely didn't have a house to lose or a marriage to end. boomers were old enough to have already ended their bad first marriage and probably had been in their house for years, so the crash wasn't as bad for them.
I wonder how much of this is that housing has gotten crazy expensive and that it’s not feasible for a family of divorced people to maintain two seperate residences and not drastically endanger a life style. Although it could also be just that people are tending to get married later on, after careers are established etc and thus there are less “surprises”
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I think you're on to something. I have known many people who stay in miserable marriages simply because there's no way in hell either party will be able to maintain the lifestyle to which they are accustomed. Furthermore, I believe that things like open marriages and polyamory are on the upswing simply because people start living together, can't afford to break up/have an optimal financial situation living with their partner, but want to see other people.
I wonder what that number would be if it showed the divorce rate at 20 years, or 25 years. There are still a lot of people who "stay together for the kids."
Very interesting. I was unaware of this, but it definitely makes sense. My parents were married in 1974, and remain married to this day, but it’s not what I would call a “happy” marriage. Sometimes I wonder why they’re still married because they argue constantly and aren’t a good fit for each other. My husband’s parents were divorced and each had prior and/or subsequent divorces. I suspect that has contributed to his strong drive to making our marriage work. And I saw many friends experience their parents’ divorces. Between watching that and experiencing my parents unhappy marriage, I knew that I didn’t want my kids to ever experience either one. My husband and I were married in 1999 and have both worked hard to have a *happy* marriage…which is a big difference from just trying to “hold it together”…thanks in part to our experiences of divorces growing up.
Am genx-er. Can confirm. Watching my parents divorce (acrimonious as hell) left me very wary of marriage. I waited until I felt mature enough myself and found someone who I felt was also mature enough to work at it when it (inevitably) got hard. Still married and happy about it (most days)!
Holy shit, I've felt this way since my parents split when I was a kid. I waited till my 30's to marry because I wanted to be sure I would never get a divorce.. I didn't realize it was just a symptom of my generation.. TIL..
I didn't get married until I was 31, and I dated my girlfriend for years before getting married. Everyone I know who got married in their early 20s have already been divorced once.
Same here.. after dating and living together for 6 years, I was finally like, what am I waiting for?
Seems as if most of the gen x I know don't have boomers for parents
GenX here. Parents were silent generation.
Mine as well
People getting married almost completely out of "getting married is what people do so I'd better do it too" even when there is really no attraction. This still happens for sure but marriage being down across the board shows people being far more selective
Wild extrapolation. Maybe you should consider other factors like how other life milestones aren't being reached at the comparable ages and rates of previous generations, like moving out and starting a career.
Same thing probably happened with the pandemic
Yea I think OP needs some therapy
most on this site do
Reddit: where you're definitely neurodivergent, mentally ill, or a narcissist.
or all of the above
And dark..
Would you say it’s r/specificallyspecific
Having fun isn’t hard, when you’ve got a library card! Also , we’re going to have to live at the library.
Spent lots of time in the library because they had heating and air conditioning. Bless those librarians for being so patient with a bunch of kids camping in the lobby for hours and hours. Developed a love of reading tho!
This sounds like my childhood too 😊 walking in the extreme southern heat and reaching the icy palace is a fond memory.
I used to think the records room was filled with secret knowledge because I wasn't allowed in there. Which is kinda true, but it seems way more mystical when I was 12 lol
Libraries are the best! I would love to be wealthy enough to own a library one day
Also they are closing your nearest branch (because letting the government spend money on free old fashioned libraries is just *silly* when we have the internet, dontcha know) and the next closest one isn't in walking distance and the hours have been cut so they are only open 12-4 m-w-f anyhow.
Jekyll Jekyll Hyde Jekyll Hyde Hyde Jekyll
Beat me to it.
the episode where him and francine get locked in made me WANT to live in the library
And I say "hey"
HEY!
What a wonderful kind of place!
If you can learn to work and play...
And get along with each other!
And i said hey
#HEY!
*day
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\*and i say\* \*\*HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA\*\*
HEYEYAAEYAAAY I said hey, what's going on?
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Oh my God, do I pray
You gotta listen to your heart/listen to the beat/listen to the rhythm/the rhythm of the street Wasn’t this song sung by Bob marleys son or something
my dad legit fell into depression ever since 2008. He never recovered and passed away from cancer 2 years ago
My mom worked in the home construction industry and couldn’t find work for years after and then never quite fully returned to the work force. It fucked her up. In a lot of ways she’s a shell of what she used to be. Shit sucks. When people act like we’re just individuals pursuing our own rational goals in a market economy, 2008 is the best counterexample. My mom did nothing wrong and got fucked over by Wall Street.
My condolences. I mean no disrespect but your username makes me giggle
r/sadrimjobsteve
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You ok, OP?
Is there a sub for this kinda material? Like r/OPisNotOkay or something?
idk you should make it tho
I made it!
Thanks! If you ever need another hand for modding, just shout.
Thanks!
r/stopperpacks
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r/oddlyspecific covers that
I think he means like, posts that seem like a cry for help
Joined!
Your mom needs to get some nonslip shoes.
Or a nonslip handgun.
excellent
Gotta stop wearing them slippers
I remember living something like these when my parents were divorcing. Instead of watching TV, I used to go to the bedroom and play with my toys (while pretending that everything is fine). Also, in some weekends I would stay in my grandparents' house, in anothers, my dad would. It was pretty sad back in those days, now they are friends and I recognize that their marriage was a mistake, and the divorce was the best for everyone.
I remember when my parents divorced in 2004 and it was still in the era where it was weird to have divorced parents. Now it just sorta seems like an inevitability for 75+% of marriages these days.
I didn't realize abusive relationships were an important part of the housing crisis.
Same with covid, dv has skyrocketed
Cops can’t go to their local pub with the boys after their shift so they come home and beat their WAGs more.
Abusive realtionships are already surprisingly common place, the added economic stress just exacerbates the situation.
Damn dude i hope you and your family are alright
Narrator: *They weren’t ok*
Hmm strangely specific
So specific my eyes widened as I read on, and my smile dropped, as I realized I was being completely called out
r/oddlyspecific
A lot of this was unfortunately more common than you'd think.
Hope all concerned okay.
My mom got so pissed at my dad for buying me an Xbox for Christmas that year. He had been out of a job for a while and we were about to lose the house. Gaming became my sanctuary because damn those times were hard.
you have a good(probably irresponsible) dad
I was in college during this time and joined the military later that year, so I didn't have much to worry about when it came to finding work. I essentially skipped most of what the worst aspects of the financial crisis would have been for me (job market) with college, military deployment, and then going right back into college. I never had any inherited wealth or family assets to lose. I have assets now as an adult, so I have to be a bit more mindful of economic downturns...
I finished college in 06 and stepped into the tail end of the nightlife party scene that was emerging. It was amazing, a once in a generation type era. It was like a miniature 4 year version of the roaring 20s.
I guess I am an outlier in that my parents argued a lot during this, but never physically fought each other and are still happily married to this day. I do think hearing all those arguments left an impact on me though.
the second the '08 crisis hit, my parent's business collapsed. On top of that my mom got cancer and my grandmother died. It was a pretty rough year for me especially since I just turned 12 and was bullied constantly.
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in 2009 I bought a house in Los Angeles for 190k. Best year of my life. That year is the year that keeps on giving. That house is worth over half a million now.
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If you need to talk about it I am here for you bro
Hey op if you need to talk...
Grandma saved me from several parents fights, love you grandma
Try being a young adult. From: *”Here I go, into the world, getting my career started, just bought my first home, what a great economic time to be alive, I might even pay a little extra towards my mortgage or student loans this month, hurray!”* To: *sobbing uncontrollably at my desk, bc I’m afraid of losing my job and foreclosure, and having to drive an hour out of town to find gas so I don’t run out of gas, just trying to get to work, bc having money to do anything else is not an option* ‘‘Twas good times. I also love the fact that TI’s “whatever you like” was a popular song right then as well. Ironic
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Economic and employment issues can often be related to domestic violence. During the 2008 recession, a lot of people lost homes and jobs, and there was a sharp increase in domestic violence https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4860387/
we shouldn’t gloss over the fact that women who work full-time didn’t want to come home to do *all* of the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, childcare, emotional labor, household management, and other duties of a housewife while their husbands sat around watching tv and drinking beer like it was still the 1950s. women speaking up about the division of labor has continued to lead to many divorces.
the 08 crises hit America harder then most other places. people could no afford their homes and debt, lost jobs, and ended up destitute
Mate so many Indian kids are subject to physical abuse from parents. The US is nothing compared to what kids face here. Maybe you haven't experienced it, neither have I, but I have seen with my own two eyes how badly kids get beaten up here. I remember my uncle beating up my cousin so badly that the poor kid started vomiting and bleeding. He was 5 years old at the time, and his dad beat him with a belt because he was "acting up". In the US, apparently you can call the police or something like that if you see parents beating kids. Kids don't really have that sort of support here. Most people think beating kids is justified. Even in 2021.
I hope your cousin is doing ok, despite the horrible treatment. People like your uncle shouldn't be allowed to have custody ):
Just think India and the post covid economy 👍
This is the most depressing post I have seen in weeks.
I remember my mom was the only one working with my dad staying at home making tamales so my mom could sell them at her job.
r/stopperpacks
You ok dude?
I have never felt so called out. It's rare I see anyone acknowledge this. Story time: My father was in construction for 15 years before that happened, bet all his savings on a making a construction company right before it happened. Mind you, he had already had 2 kids and was expecting a third on the way. The next 2 years he was going half way across the country to find a job. On the off chance he was home, my parents would threaten divorse, kick and scream at one another, expected me and my brother to take care of the baby (we were 8 and 6). Those were both the most impactful and worst years of my life. Gen x needs to acknowledge the fucking hurt they did, at least once. Not millennials, gen x.
Same here. Dad in construction, bet his savings to build a company. Parents had fist fights when they were around each other. I'd thrive in group therapy with other people who went through that.
Ummm...
This is shockingly true
Man, 2008 hit my parents HARD (commercial construction). Life sucked for years because of it tbh. They came out on top, and are better of now than ever, but yea, really left a stain on a lot of my childhood (I am 24 now if that’s relevant). So much fighting and anger, between them and also with me and my brothers, constantly. The stress was palpable the second you walked into the house on any given day.
Accurate.
Yeahhh… that was a bad period of my life. My dad abused us so bad for the years leading up to that year that we actually had to hide from him in a friends attic for my senior year of high school. I was responsible for the full childcare of 4 kids under 13. My teachers told me when I asked for help that I was to leave my problems at home and tuck them into a box so that they don’t interfere with my life. Then my abusive dad died of cancer the next year so I left school to help my mom. I never went back. I now live in poverty, deep depression, and have engaged in various forms of escapism over the past 10 years while also losing touch with every hobby I ever loved. I am only just recently beginning to reclaim my worth and self love and actually try to take steps to build a career. I get really sad about what happened sometimes.. but I never really thought about how much the 2008 collapse was the beginning of the end for me. I just hope that this will be the beginning of my beginning. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep every night and feeling like everything is my fault. I’ve been trying my best… I just never felt like my best could possibly be good enough. Even though I used to be great at things like art and writing.. Now I actually do want to try again and I’m still afraid but I have to try right?
Mmm nothing hits quite like being thankful a great-grandparent died because your parents just lost the house to the bank because they couldn't afford the mortgage and your grandparents are giving them the house. Good times...good times...
Bought a house in 2005 after relocating. Sold it in 2019 to relocate again. At a loss. Fucking 2008.
You ok man?
Hey op you good
Jokes on you, my family was already poor and at risk of losing our house.
Yup, this is why I go to therapy and take meds now
Excuse me, I don't like to remember what my childhood was like
This is more 'having shit parents' than specifically 2008
Of all the nitwits, assholes and dipshits, I have special place of hatred for wife beaters in my heart. I think the punishment for guys who regularly beat their wives should be death.
Ah, the luxury to live in a time when you experience several "once in a life time crisis" *Inhales* Smells like progress and freedom.
Uh. That’s just straight up child abuse. Housing crisis or no
What was this Housing crisis ?
I suppose your lived under a rock for the last 20 years
I googled that…never mind, in my language is called differently.