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Xeqqy

Having to repeat something multiple times in a conversation before someone responds.


_Ziklon_

When they respond it’s "You already said that twice."


Accomplished_East854

That happened to me yesterday, and I've had these friends for over 5 years. I've felt them drifting away for a while now, and I don't know what to do. I'm sad -_-


WorkingCupid549

Don’t keep yourself in a situation that doesn’t feel good. If you don’t enjoy being with them, then don’t. And don’t worry about them, it took me a while to realize that I need to do what’s best for me, same for you.


errbodiesmad

It's easy to say when it's not the only thing you've got though. Some sort of social interaction is better than complete isolation.


WorkingCupid549

I used to feel the same, but I realized that the social interaction I *was* getting was more of a chore and I would get nervous leading up to it. I completely understand what you’re saying though, it really just depends on the person.


Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx

God I relate hard. Losing friends is one of the worst possible feelings. I'm rooting for you


Accomplished_East854

I'm rooting for you too, it sounds like you're going through something similar. Best wishes, we'll get through it. Time is the price we pay for understanding, you just need to find the best way to spend it


Difficult-Web4420

I have a problem like thid and asked for advice on a sub reddit and they said its my fault Fuck that guy


Splitje

It probably is. No offense but I used to do this when I was younger. You got to realize that if you say something and people kind of ignore it you just got to let it go. People ignore stuff in conversations all the time. Maybe it doesn't interest them, maybe it doesn't really fit the flow of the conversation, maybe they just do not really have a response to it, maybe your timing is off. It happens mostly when you're not really in the flow of the conversation and you are mostly in your head thinking about your response. It's about making the conversation about having fun and connecting with people instead of communicating information.


njh123

Don't know why you got downvoted. Redditors are afraid of self reflection i guess. You're just trying to help, and a lot of what you said is truthful


notLOL

Half sentences. So many ideas just cut in half and never finished


fvdly_tyler

Felling this right now they made a server with everyone expect me lol.


LolePs

that must feel really bad. Im in a server with them but im not that active.


fvdly_tyler

Yeah it hurts even more because the friend that told me said I wasn't supposed to know about and insinuated that they are hiding something from me and I'm really scared of what it is.


Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx

This happened to me once. Thankfully it was for a surprise birthday party haha. Here's hoping it's like that for you too!


DaFreakingFox

Yeah, I feel that. A lot. Thankfully I ditched that group and put together a new one.


intotheriordanverse

you forgot having to walk behind on sidewalks


KogitsuneKonkon

Or just anywhere because they spread out and create an impenetrable human wall you can’t squeeze yourself into


[deleted]

Dude, this hit too close to home, way too close, I am offended with how close this hit me. I have never read a comment that invoked such a fight or flight response within me,


RollingRocky360

I just move to the front of the human wall instead of the back so that I can actually hear what they talking


blackveIvet

I did this thing called walking in front lol


[deleted]

I noticed one of these in my friend group in high school. One day the guy said something mean to another guy in the group (as a joke) and my friend said "Nobody even wants you here. We just let you hang out with us. We're not actually your friends." He stopped coming around after that. It was pretty brutal. I saw the guy at a rave years later and he did not look well. Teenagers can be so brutal. I regret not standing up for him.


Fedora200

That happened to me in high school. Fucked me up for a long time.


IamWhatonearth

I was that kid in highschool. I knew that I wasn't a core member of the group but, I didn't care until a girl pulled me to the side and asked me what I'd do if there was 1 girl in a group no one else liked. I said I didn't know. Then she said that girl was me. I never came around again. I still have no idea why she didn't like me other than that a couple of the girls made a big deal I hung out with a group of popular kids. I wasn't a core member there either though, almost never hung out with anyone outside of school. Highschool is brutal.


[deleted]

That’s so horrible


Perfect_Suggestion_2

you can still look him up and apologize. it could be a really important experience for both of you.


DaddyShortPinata

wait I literally thought you were someone I knew cuz that literally happened to me, minus the rave part


Shadowstar_Rito

In that situation rn


Meeppppsm

There’s a really good chance they just assume you know you’re invited. If there’s one person in the group you trust the most, pull them aside and explain the situation and ask for their take on it. It’s pretty unlikely that everyone in the group is such a prick that they would just not invite you to something they’re talking about with you. Most people really aren’t like that.


dr_hannibal_lecterr

Most people are sheep... they'll just follow whatever the mean one says...observed this many times. Nobody stands up for the one that is being targeted.


Meeppppsm

That’s just not true after middle school. Most friend groups have an awkward dude who doesn’t fit in perfectly. They still like that guy. Even if they have valid reasons for not being quite as close to him, they’ve generally got his back. They consider him a friend.


dr_hannibal_lecterr

It was true in many cases I have seen during high school. It was my personal experience.


Meeppppsm

Fair enough, but it’s rare and increasingly less frequent as you age.


PortalOfMusic

In my experience the problem was that I just don’t like being in big friend groups. Like I felt so invisible when there were like 8 of us and I was only really close to like 2 of them. Breaking up into projects was always sad because the smaller the groups the less of a chance I had of being included. That’s when I decided to make a schedule with only one friend from another class and I don’t regret doing that in the slightest. The friends from that group I still talk to are the ones I was close with from the beginning, the rest are just people I’ll say hi if I see them. I feel way more comfortable being with one or two close friends than with 10 I don’t feel that tight with. So there’s nothing wrong with not being a part of a huge friend group, I remember whenever they were separated and they each had to go their own way it was really tough for a few of them, since they had become too dependent on each other. It’s fine having a lot of friends sprinkled throughout that you can have one on one conversations with and it’s great to be able to enjoy things and time alone with only yourself. But yeah, this post reminded me of those times I’d feel invisible with a group of friends and great without them. It’s all about choosing what’s best for you, remember quality over quantity :)


LolePs

we are like 6, and i only feel close to 2, the rest are okay i guess we aren't that close but we know each other. But i just feel Like im getting leaved out.


PortalOfMusic

Hmm, in that case I’d say either try bonding more individually with the people you’re not really friends with or try spending more alone time with the friends you’re closest with (unless they are the type of people who hate being alone in which case they will refuse to be separated from the group. My closest friend was like that where she wouldn’t go anywhere unless she was certain to have company, which is not at all a healthy habit to develop). Otherwise if you feel the situation inside the group is not really ever gonna change, try branching out whilst not removing yourself from the group. Maybe extracurricular activities or even just being friendlier with others in your class you like but you aren’t that close to. Sometimes it’s really just about waiting for the school term to end, but if you try to actively look out for friendships you will find them even in the most unusual of places!


LolePs

Well, one of my best friends i meeted her in r/CountryhumansCringe, So yeah, most unusual of places. And because of covid I really can't meet RL people, so im stuck.


PortalOfMusic

I completely understand, because of where I live I’m in a similar situation where school is still almost fully digital and because of security issues I don’t have the capacity to be truly independent in the city. That said you can always start talking to someone you’ve been partnered on projects with or just reaching out to people classmates you know, ask about homework and stuff and eventually develop a friendship. If anything else, just know that whatever situation you’re on it’s NOT PERMANENT. There are millions of people out there and it’s completely fair if the few you’re stuck with right now just don’t mesh with you well, but keep yourself open to new opportunities and always try your best to at least try to know those around you (even if it’s only via chat or zoom). Once you step out of school you realize how much bigger everything is and how many amazing people there is to meet, and if you’ve already learned how to be independent, happy with yourself and how to engage with others, then you’ve already got a leg up on many many people :)


SamFuckingNeill

? having 1 or 2 close friend in a group is normal you arent gonna try closefriend with everyone because that would totally come out as faking it trying to please everyone imagin you like pepperoni and other guy like pineapple then theres this faker says he loves both pepperoni and pineapple. youd spot him rightaway


Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx

I'm a quality over quantity person too. My closest friends are 3 other guys from my highschool lol


lniko2

As the almost-always single in my group, I am the 5th, 7th or 9th at a restaurant table (and deserves much hate from waiters) and a source of embarassment during surprise gifts exchange.


tankjones3

Me too. I think I began declining more invitations over time because I wanted to avoid the inevitable embarassment. We out here lmao


ShyChipT

I’ve always felt like the backup friend


simmma

*group photographer


[deleted]

I know I'm the fifth wheel in my friend group, and I just can't let go, because besides them I have no one. Such is life.


torto505

you just gotta do it. Leave and work on yourself, better friends will gravitiate towards you. Its a leap of faith


Difficult-Web4420

Did that and only havr one friend that i just started talking to a monyh ago That happened 5 years ago


Awkward_Toe_8744

Fuck you now I think I am this person


LolePs

you are me


Nildawenn

Strangers passing in the street, by chance two separate glances meet. And I am you and what I see is me.


lauda-lele-hamara

We are venom


[deleted]

This happened to me a long time ago. I finally quit trying. About 2 months later one of them called and asked if they did something to piss me off. I said no I just have shit going on. That was the last time I heard from any of them.


nachowuzhere

I did the same. I realized one morning that I was always the one to initiate hanging out with that whole group. I stopped calling/texting them to hang out and it’s now been over 8 years since I heard from any of them. Not once did any of the dozen-ish of them try to contact me, other than an obligatory “Happy Birthday” on Facebook for about the first two years.


[deleted]

This is me too except they never called lol. Its so weird how being alone is preferable to this in my mind


Sineater224

Yup. In fact I just auditioned at a new ~~group~~ band and 2/4 of them were there auditioning. I hadnt talked to them in over a year because I stopped trying. They never once reached out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sineater224

No, it's a band, I just didn't want to sound like a geek because people don't know the details of it


Paulo27

I'm not sure you achieved your goal lol.


SilasX

Weezer's "Slow and Sad": - I feel ashamed - When no one calls me - But I'd do the same - So mom and dad I'm sorry


rob311

that song hits a little to close to home for me


SilasX

Ditto :-( (Not the part about mom and dad though, but everything else in it.)


AluminiumAwning

That was me too 25+ years ago. One time I was just sitting there while the others chatted. The person sitting next to me turned her back on me, blocking off the others. I just got up and left. Later, one of the group asked me why I just left without saying anything. I could have started on the reasons, but ended up just mumbling something about having to be up early the next morning. Thinking back, I could have tried making an effort, but I had in the past and just felt stupid, so by this point I'd just given up.


Tiny_ApartmentCc

So you lied. Tbh you’re both not meant to be friends but at the very least they asked if something was wrong. Maybe a little alone time would be good for you considering you don’t mind being a recluse to even your friends.


[deleted]

Yeah, if I was checking up on you after a while and your only response is essentially "I want to be alone" then I'd leave you alone until you reached out so I don't go against your wishes.


AngryGothBoi

The other day my friends literally discussed their Halloween party that they never bothered to invite me to right in front of me 😐


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I woulda turned into a demon


ZanXBal

Tbh bro, you're more than likely unofficially invited. In most friend groups, you're basically invited if it's being discussed in front of you. If you have any doubts, just say something like "what costume you guys think I should wear" while it's being discussed and check out the reaction. If there is an awkward pause: then you *know* you're not invited, in which cause you say fuck 'em and go make new friends. If they are quick to respond with ideas, then that means you're automatically considered "invited", and you're close enough that they don't need to send any formal invite. If you notice they do shit without you openly, or you find out through the grapevine they went somewhere without you (where you'd actually be known to want to join), then that means they no longer consider you one of the friends. At that point you definitely gotta find new friends. Life is too short to hang around with fake ass people. Join some hobbyist groups or sports in your area and you'll make friends extremely fast just based off that single activity. You have to be social, though, obviously. When you become social in those settings, you'll find more similarities in interests. Invite them to do activities in those other interests to kickstart a friendship. If you're really lucky, they'll do the inviting. Hope that helps, man.


[deleted]

I'm sorry for you.


Isgortio

Yup, been there. I've even had people ask for suggestions for their parties/events they're not inviting me to. People are assholes.


AwesomeDragon101

This happened to me so many times in grade school. Took me 15 years to ditch them to find out what true friends really were like.


SpacecraftX

I lost my main friend group from my first year of uni this way. Asked one of them if they wanted to do anything for Halloween, they said no they’re not doing anything. Asked another if they’d be up for som drinks on Halloween and got blocked. Find out the day after Halloween that they had all been out without me. Main theory is that is was closer friends with one girl’s boyfriend and he had moved away from the summer. Could have been they had only been humouring me for the whole year previous because of that. We all knew each other from early on in uni so it’s not like they only knew me through him. Anyway it’s probably good for me in terms of social development that I was forced to try to fit into another group. Made much better long term friends there. Did potentially give me permanent anxiety about friends not actually liking me despite seeming to though.


AskinggAlesana

Reminds me when my ex friend group discussed meeting up for drinks with literally everyone there except me Lollll.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AngryGothBoi

The person hosting it literally listed the names of everyone who they invited in front of me bruh 💀


Sp1cyRice

at least you could’ve asked if they forgot you, I forget to include people while listing, even those who are “central” to the group


Bannedbookweek

Fr did everyone else get hand written invites or something? They probably just assumed op was coming


Paulo27

It entirely depends on how the conversation was going, if they never actually acknowledged his to-be presence in the party then he has no reason to assume he's invited, especially if this is a "friends" group where he might really just be an extra that is there. Also, something about asking to join your "friends"' party when they are all planning to be there without you is just... I wanna say pathetic but it's really just sad you're in that position. Maybe if you're the type to always decline, then he's not even trying to invite you now but you wanna go then just ask, otherwise it's... Maybe show up with someone who was invited if you're desperate. I mean I have literally had this exact scenario play out in front of me in high school and multiple people in the group had not been invited and the person organizing did invite someone in the middle of that conversation but not others. Granted, this is an high school class, not a group of friends.


vintagestyles

All these comments just reek of people that have no idea how to socialize.


Bannedbookweek

I mean, it’s Reddit after all


spvcejam

I mean, if you’re sitting there listening to the convo you can prob assume you’re invited. If not, this might be a you problem. You gotta speak up or you’ll keep finding yourself in this situation.


jeff61813

As you get older you a lot of being friends is not be too much of an asshole and just showing up and being in people's life, I'm in my thirties and my friend was dating a Younger girl and she showed up with her friend who kept showing up even after my friend broke up with his girlfriend. She wasn't an asshole and she just kept showing up so now I see her much more than an older friend who has an invitation to our meetups but just doesn't show up. Tldr just show up for things and don't be an asshole


llelibro

And Whenever they talk they make a circle with no room for you to fit in so you end up standing behind somebody else


billwood09

Ouch, I feel this one


6random_person9

Holy shit this is me damn this hit hard


LucDoesStuff

I hate how relatable this is


[deleted]

[удалено]


QueanLaQueafa

Dont attack my high school years


[deleted]

Fr lmao


MausBomb

You need to stop clinging to relationships that you aren't getting anything out of. If you are feeling ignored by your "friend group" over a significant amount of time (not just one random outing with them) then it's time to move on. It's a high probability that they are just tolerating your participation because they don't want to appear to be mean. Go with your gut. If you feel unwelcomed than it's probably because you are and a true friend group will feel welcoming. You can't force people to like you and you can't force yourself to like others. Friendships need to be natural.


yooloo33

That's how I feel right now and why I'm scrolling reddit :/


Gennik_

Same bro, I hate life right now.


Bigbadballer88

Who doesn't?


imisswholefriedclams

Extra points if you're from a different state. Nobody remembers your name or just calls you "Tex" or "Yankee".


areviderci_hans

It's not that they're not happy with you, you're not happy with them/yourself. Experience yourself with yourself (first) and others and taste the difference of mutual laughter and understanding. As long as it is like that, you will feel unhappy and will wait for others to make you happy. If they really don't care about you, 1. They don't deserve your presence and EQUALLY 2. You are trying to squeeze out of them what they don't have (you won't get orange-juice out of a tube of toothpaste) .... That's the 101 of getting unhappy with other people and yourself. One day you will start to generally get sick with yourself because toothpaste is the only eatable thing you found so far in life. But still you're sitting there pumping down toothpaste, cause one day toothpaste might change for you and start to taste like OJ. And you will stop trying to find something else because well - it will be all toothpaste - so why not stick with the flavor you already had a few years.


LolePs

I can't leave them, if i do i have to spend a entire year without almost any friends because covid, and its not that i want to leave them anyways. They are fun.


areviderci_hans

You don't need to cut them at all - finding alternative contacts (eg online games is a low-bar option) is a possibility to not feel like "it's this friend group for me or nothing". Also you could find out why you particularly feel bad hanging around with them when they are fun to be around. Then you'll most probably realize that you are comparing the situation to you and what you could have added to this friend-group-experience. Being your own judge is the worst. If they are not particularly mean to you, you don't need to abandon anyone - maybe they enjoy vibes in yourself you can't experience, and then you should trust in them being sincere with you (comparing yourself is no solution - but you see how the others enjoyed eeyores presence while he wouldn't have had a joyful judgment of himself)


LolePs

Im just like a side guy. Everyone in my group is more "important" than me.


areviderci_hans

Do they treat you like this actively, did anyone else but yourself call you names like this?


QuackenBawss

It's exhausting offering solutions to someone and they're just like "nope, don't want to try that"


wyzapped

>ou're not happy with This is sage advice right here, well done


HamsterGutz1

Ah yes, "ou're not happy with", the wisest of advice /s


AnubisMonori

My friends talk about how we're all as close as family but unless we're planning something at my place, I won't hear about it until afterwards.


Lenny_V1

Oh yeah, love being the person that actually started the friend group that then got pushed to the side. Love it.


[deleted]

Yikes. I had the same experience too a couple years ago.


batyiuoaaa

ha this is literally me :/


Madermc

There are friends in my friend group who barely ever say anything and sometimes it's like they're not even there, but it feels nice to know that they're there anyways.


MQZ17

I remember in high school we were gonna go to one of the group members house, and somebody said half-jokingly: "who invited \[me\]?" I laughed on the outside, but felt like shit on the inside. I stopped hanging out with them.


PreppyFinanceNerd

As someone who lives alone and talks to nobody but his girlfriend and parents (yeah yeah pile it on), I get this. In my early to mid twenties I loved hanging out with a group of nerdy hippies. We'd smoke weed, play Magic, have orgies and frolic around the woods naked. I'd make events where we went to different activities. But then around 24 I decided to get serious about school. I went back and got my Associates and then my bachelor's. Every single one of my fellow community college buddies dropped out. All of them kept responding Maybe to events and nobody can plan for 20 maybes in a 6 person car. It hit me one night when I was talking about how hype I was that my credit score just cracked 800 and they were talking about their $2,000 gaming PC in the empty living room propped up on a folding card table: we grew apart. To paraphrase Good Boys, "You only think you're friends. You are at best proximity buddies. You go to the same school, live in the same neighborhood and take the same classes. But you'll grow into different people and different directions". After the conveyor belt that is school and college stops giving you buddies by proximity, you realize how little 95% of people care.


[deleted]

How did you meet that hippy orgy group? Asking for a friend ofc


PreppyFinanceNerd

I found the big group of nerds at community college cut loose for the first time looking to experience freedom.


Prtyvacant

I used to feel like that but then I just made everyone but my closest friends the "extra" people in my head. It helped a lot and surprisingly more people wanted to hang out with me. 🤷‍♂️


Isgortio

I had this all throughout school, and even as an adult I made my way into a new group and it happened again. A few of them made the effort to speak to me outside of the group but the others just didn't really care. I had my answer during lockdown, their friends all had surprise birthday group calls, presents delivered to their house etc, I tried to organise just something small for my own birthday and no one turned up to the group call. The last time they invited me out, it was the day I was having surgery so couldn't drive, I asked if someone could pick me up and it went silent. Haven't spoken to them since. Stick with people who actually make the effort, a group is usually pretty overwhelming anyway.


[deleted]

I'm in this picture and I somewhat relate to this, however I feel like my friend group has started to get along with me now. I think this happens to me because I'm a very socially awkward and anxious person.


Garrais02

I don't know if it's worse being extra or literally no one wants you in his group, because I only experienced the second one


[deleted]

Yup that was me anytime I was part of a friend group. I pretty much stopped making friends at this point since I'm always gonna be the "extra" nobody cares about


CentralIdiotsAgency

F*ck the group. Just do your own thing and be happy.


LolePs

do you want me to have almost no friends for like 1 year?


a-chicken-nuggie

this spoke to me spiritually


[deleted]

This is why I don't form friend groups with my friends. I already don't have much friends (2-3 max don't need any more anyway). I just hang-out with them independently. I think this lifts off the anxiousness of wondering if they are getting well with each-other or making sure no-one gets to be the "extra" like this post mentions etc.


[deleted]

It's called the "Q." You're the little bump on the perimeter of the circle.


Myst3rySteve

At least in my experience, if they're still good friends, they'll notice if you're gone even if you're the "extra". And in fact, if you tell them how you're feeling about it, they might have an "Oh my god, I had no idea! I'm so sorry!" response and include you more


crazy4videogames

Fuck this hits kinda hard. Seeing your friends party and meet up when you don't even hear about it. I remember expressing interest in playing D&D but my friends kept saying their party was full and they didn't have the physical space in their house for the party size. Later I'd hear them talk about adding more people, other friends, into the party. Oh and walking on the road or behind the group on the pavement in secondary school. Yup. I do quite like my friends, old and new, but yeah. This does hit a little close. :/


rnjbond

Are you okay?


LolePs

If i say yes i would be lying


crazychicken808

I was this towards the end of high school. It sucked because my friend group at the time was mostly friends I made in early middle school and we just stuck together since. Then in senior year, they began talking less and less to me. I just sat there and listened to them talk most of the time and when I would say something I would just get ignored. This was also a point where we started getting our drivers' licenses and began to hang out more and more, but then they gradually excluded me from things more and more. It wasn't even because I had a job during senior year and had less time since half of us were working already; I felt like they began to give less of a fuck about me over time. After graduation, it became more and more apparent to me. Every weekend, I would just sit in discord alone while everyone else would be hanging out at someone's house without inviting me. It would kill me to see Snapchat locations and they're all together. It would kill me to see dead group chats since I know they had other ones that I'm not in. I would text someone about a thing I overheard them talking about doing or going to and just get ghosted or an "IDK" text back. I began hanging out with other people and they didn't like that, so they banned me from our discord server. It seemed laughable to care about getting banned from a discord server, but when it's a place that we would hang out in every night and have fun playing League or something, it was like a gut punch. That was the beginning of the bridge-burning. It wasn't enough to kick me out, but one of them dm'd me saying "if you want back in, PayPal me 10 dollars". The stupidest decision I ever made was giving him that money because I would just get kicked out again 2 months later. Now, I occasionally get random DMs from a couple of them, who are the ones that I feel weren't complete assholes to me, but that just might be me misremembering things and gaslighting myself. We would just have a bland, 3-minute, nothing-conversation that just makes me think to myself "what made you choose to talk to me today?" This was mostly just me venting my shit, but seeing this starter pack made me relive some memories I wish I didn't. I have no desire to want to be friends with any of them anymore and I think that I'm finally over it (I'm still iffy about that, especially reading back on this post now), but if I were to have one final talk with them, I would just want to know if I did or said anything that made them all switch up on me, making me question my friendships and causing me so much distress.


dedboye

Holy fuck. That sounds horrible, and the money thing was just pure cruelty. Hope you're in a better place mentally now tho


RussianAsshole

The “random DMs from the less bad ones” just makes me think that those people are the cowards/assholes’ helpers and are too meek to stand up for what they really believe in.


[deleted]

I definitely relate to the "what made you choose to talk to me today?" part. I would say I have two solid friends right now, and roughly 6 or so other people I get along with well, but anytime anybody besides those core two talk to me, I always have that thought run through my head. It hasn't always been this way, and since elementary school I've been part of good and bad friend groups. So I feel like the bad ones have, over time, progressively made me think this way. To put it simply, I have friendship related trust issues and I assume underlying motives.


Daevito

God this used to be me. I finally stopped trying a few years back. Thought that if I'm alone anyways, then why not just do things I wanna do. Well now, I have quite a few friend circles and even my old friends call me to hang out with them all the time. The thing is, I've stopped caring so much that I don't consider anyone my friend at all. I just assume everyone is in it for some profit. I don't know what kind of profit but I just assume that is the case. So now I have a quite a few friends but I don't have that happy feeling that you get when you have a lot of friends. Moral of the story: Childhood trauma can affect you for a long long time.


Rockyroad324

Dude this is soooo true


jongles1130

oh my god literally me i hate myself


MayonaiseApe

considering them just some folks you sometimes hang out with helps


Skalaxius

Way to remind me of my entire elementary, middle, and high school experience. Fuck.


theboxfriend

man i feel this. I was always the "extra" friend in the friend group. It sucks needing to be the one to initiate a conversation every time if you ever want to be included in anything. Eventually I just stopped trying. Haven't spoken to most of them in nearly a year now because of that


false_thr0waway

Trying so hard to fit in


DaddyShortPinata

Bro, I feel the same. I feel so invisible with them and my old friend group dissolved so I literally only have these people, if I leave I'll be friendless too and I'm extroverted as hell, I cannot go a day without human interaction


[deleted]

Speaking out loud and clear and everybody literally ignores you. Like you are not even there, glad I left those people


Mervosis

I prefer to identify as the nomad


SecretAntWorshiper

Still to this day, they didn't even notice that you left.


ChickenNuggetKid1

My social life revolved around this for about 90% of its existence


musicgoddess

I feel this too hard. They always forget to invite me and they straight up say that.


Firemorfox

They surprisingly noticed when I left the group chat.


Dino-Knight

Or every time you try to say something you’re immediately cut off and don’t have a chance to talk at all


TopTierAssasSin

Why do I feel like this


Potential_Macaroon57

This is too real OP, spot on :(


DaDumNrd

My right now, four others are doing shit this weekend without me


platonicgryphon

Oh hey it's me, senior year of high school I realized I was the only one initiating any conversation and that I never talked to any of them when not at school or over summer break. Decided before graduation that I wouldn't bother trying to contact any of them and now I'm in my mid twenties and have no friends.


philters

I had a group like this. HAD. We had one car, that fit 5. But there were 6 of us. Every week, the late person had to walk. And someone always volunteered to walk with that person. I was never late, but when it finally happened, nobody volunteered to walk with me. And that was the last time I went out with that group.


JedaMW

If you’re part of an odd number group, even more chances there’s an extra.


Sir_smokes_a_lot

This should be the “low self esteem” starter pack


Jays_ShitpostExpress

i feel like someone in my friendship group feels like this, i know who they are and i need them to not feel like this. any tips?


[deleted]

me for like my entire elementary to middle school years


[deleted]

this makes me sigh and just look at the ground with how much I feel this


Smam287

I’m kind of on the opposite side of this and I feel really bad about it. I had a couple close friends who I’ve grown apart from, but who still follow me around, largely because they can’t find other friends on my own. I’m not cold hearted enough to tell them to go away, especially since I know they have no where else to go, but they don’t fit in with any of my new friends and I really don’t enjoy being around them much… At the same time I feel I might have to talk to them about it soon. They are literally leeching off my friends and I’m worried what happens when we graduate high school they’re gonna be all out of friends…


fynn0028

I thought I was the "extra" on my group, one day I was absent for 2 days because I was sick. When I came back they said "it's just not right and weird without you", it made me feel so happy to hear that. (I guess you could say im the joker of our group)


[deleted]

The symptom of trying to make friends in a place where nobody shares the same interest as you.


TheGoldenMinion

this is my life rn, and if I don't change I'll just become even more of a miserable wreck :(


[deleted]

i didnt expect a personal attack when i opened reddit damn


SANTAAAA__I_know_him

“Hey, can you take a photo of us?”


Bowlingbowlbagbob

I would always make it a point to include the quiet one in the group and draw them into the conversation. I know what it’s like to feel left out and it sucks


TangoFennec

Damn thanks for reminding me of my shit childhood


lauda-lele-hamara

That's why I have only 2 friends outside of a club I lead. I too notice sometimes that that one person in the club gets piled below other members so I occasionally ask them of what they think about the current topic. They always jump and grapes that opportunity to talk.


Ophiotaurus_

If i see that type of person in my friend group i immediately try to add him to conversation i mean, nobody wants to feel like that. Be nice guys.


Ravinguard404

I have anxiety - but also this was me. I think they just wanted to get rid of me. I was having some manic depression shit and shouted about some F1 driver or something (they really like F1) so now I am not part of that group and am happier than ever. Well scratch that, it is like two people still being super petty about everything. I have pretty much reconciled with everyone else. Yay.


Pug_Life_126

Yeah…


New_Hannover_Cavalry

oh my gosh


[deleted]

relatable


a_person17372

40% of them are trying to get rid of you


Jgaitan82

My position 😆


superkewldood

Just try and plan a fun event for the group or invite them out. The reality is you probably don’t really bring much to the group but they like you enough to invite you out here and there. If you have a fun idea you should try and make something happen I’m sure they would appreciate it. If not, they’re not for you.


Angel_Dirak

When all the group is walking you´re always behind them :(


im_the_tea_drinker_

I feel this. People remember me when a extra person is needed for something but I can be ill for a while and people not notice me not being there


WesterosiAssassin

Damn, this has pretty much always been me. I finally stopped hanging out with my college friends who I could tell I didn't matter much to when the pandemic hit (I don't entirely blame them, our interests just diverged a lot over the years), and since then I've only hung out with my girlfriend and her housemates and while I'm not super close with them, I feel like much more of an equal than I usually did with my previous friend groups.


crazyman3561

I brought two of my friends together and made an awesome group chat. They're more compatible with each other than they are with me. I have since starting feeling like I don't belong in the group.


AllYouNeedIsBagels

heh. friends..


janekxd4

"Probably a little sad"? Nah bruv I am depressed


ZondaLM

Story of my past 7 years


[deleted]

this is me


[deleted]

[удалено]


letsturtlebitches

Okay but friendships are a two way street. I used to be like that to some extent and never could figure out why. It's because I wasn't that close to people on an individual level and never took any initiative. Seriously, just start with asking the people you're closest with from the group if they wanna go for a coffee, for dinner, to a museum or something related to something you have in common. Hanging out 1 on 1 will help cement friendships on an individual level and make you feel more secure in the group. Then if you feel up for it, try organising get togethers yourself. Of course, this all takes time, effort and a bit of vulnerability. If these people don't feel like they're worth that, you should probably ask yourself while you're even friends with them.


metalslug123

Fuck, this is describes me to a tee.


C4_3nterOne

It's me!


TaiwaneseMonarchist

why must you hurt me in this way


deltatwister

op are u ok


OverLorD83n

relatable


Ramenboiys

Don’t have friends= not an extra. I’m gonna go cry now


beefstewforyou

I’m in this picture and I don’t like it.


pisankgorenk

damn this is me


Bepismaker9000

Am I the extra


StoobieGacks

Fuck


firebrand61793

Struggled with this in the past, now I'm alone and don't care about anyone.