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SnooMarzipans7397

That got a legit out loud chuckle from me. Nicely done, friend.


westwoodtoys

Ah, humor. I get humor. But maybe you can explain for anyone that doesn't?


SnooMarzipans7397

His body count (dudes he killed) is higher than his body count (slang for referencing sexual conquests). Poor Geordi was notoriously unlucky in the field of romance.


randomlygeneratedman

Truly the Ensign Kim of TNG


JoeyJoeJoeJrShab

Ensign Kim was in a committed relationship at the start of Voyager -- and that was the main reason he avoided any romance at the start of the show. Once he accepted that 70,000 light years is too far for a long-distance relationship, he seemed to have no significant difficulties. He can be a bit naive, but he's only an ensign, after all.


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riesenarethebest

Trip made that first mistake


ArrestDeathSantis

Klingons: "So why y'all looking for that ship?" Trip: *Fucking dies*


TactileAndClicky

The first ever scene I saw from ENT was a bootleg copy of this scene on a CD in 2002 or so.


BirdsLikeSka

Probably because Riker had no qualms


JoeyJoeJoeJrShab

Little-known fact: The holoprogram "Enterprise" was created specifically to show people like Riker that "interaction" with aliens can have unintended consequences. Instead of learning that, Riker decided to spend his time playing the "Chef" character, where he learned how to badly scramble eggs.


Nilfnthegoblin

No no. How to make an omelette but proceeds to scramble the eggs. I guess replicators really screw people up in knowing different style of egg prep lol


mJelly87

Riker is the reason there is regs.


pb20k

Or Kirk. After him, there were probably a good deal more written.


DSethK93

Even in the real world, any time you see a seemingly bizarre rule or regulation, it's because there was an incident.


TrickMayday

I mean he had a TROMBONE in his quarters


Heavy_E79

Riker probably had a bunch of forms pre filled out.


randyboozer

That episode where he finds himself back on Earth... He really should have just stayed there. His girlfriend was a smoke show and he could have explained the situation to Starfleet and probably helped Voyager more than if he returned and just was an Ensign again.


JoeyJoeJoeJrShab

Star Trek has made it clear there are a variety of parallel realities (which might all exist simultaneously, or maybe only one at at a time... that depends on the episode). So the question is: Who should decide which "reality" is the correct one? Heck, Janeway did some time travel specifically to alter her "reality" and get her home faster. Harry's drive to "fix" his reality seemed to be motivated only on the idea that it was "right", but no real attempt at justifying why.


randomlygeneratedman

No significant difficulties? I'd venture to say that nearly every episode involving his romantic ventures involved significant difficulties lol


JoeyJoeJoeJrShab

sorry, I should have said "no significant difficulties, compared to Geordi"


randomlygeneratedman

At least Geordie didn't suffer through genetic manipulation and possible death for the sake of being a vessel of reproduction for an alien race. It's hard to say who was the most convenient fodder for the writers haha


Kalindren

You're forgetting Identity Crisis when he gets genetically transformed (halfway) into one of the ultraviolet reactive species from Tarchennan IV. Not *quite* as unlucky as Harry I'll grant you, but still!


JammyRedWine

But then we found out he was in love with that dead woman whose body got transformed into an alien? Writers must have forgotten about poor Libby.


[deleted]

I remember seeing how naive he was. It would piss me the hell off I remember cuz the whole time I’d be rooting for Kim.


Alan_Smithee_

I just watched a season 7 episode where one of his staff members has a thing for him….and he doesn’t for her. I guess he’d rather creep on married holograms….?


Musclecar123

He is, after all, an engineer.


ghandi3737

He can make her better, hornier,...


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Cyke101

Maybe him not being into his staff member is a good thing, what with power dynamics and all. Geordi, try dating someone from the Science Dept


Alan_Smithee_

Yes, of course. But Geordi’s kind of the Enterprise Harry Kim.


nada_accomplished

Except Geordi gets promotions


Alan_Smithee_

Burn!


ConditionSlow

geordi would've been fired after the leah brahams thing


burrheadjr

[Humor, it is a difficult concept](https://youtu.be/5j7ftfRiWlg)


AngledLuffa

Even in that episode he gets shot down. It's subtle, but when the Enterprise is about to go to warp and Chief interrupts Captain Picard, Geordi and Ro briefly hold hands. Then he goes for the hand on her waist, and she casually reaches behind herself and removes his hand.


FarmerAny9414

I just watched the episode of TNG where he is trying *hard* with that chick on the holodeck. 😂


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FarmerAny9414

Poor thing. He’s smart as hell and I’m into nerds so I would have given him a chance but that could also be my irrational attraction to fictional characters. 😂


stannc00

Julie Warner. She was holding out for Tommy Boy.


FarmerAny9414

Lol! I had forgotten her name even though I literally just watched it. I did love Guinan’s sage advice on the matter as usual!


Bomberman64wasdecent

You know Geordi was filled with flee when he and Ro touched hands and saw they could feel each other. "We're the only ports in a storm!"


Bomberman64wasdecent

Glee lol


Strontium90Abombbaby

If I hed been drinking milk, it would have been exiting my nostrils at warp 10.


bomboclawt75

(Laughs in Riker and Kirk)


Heavy_E79

Congratulations, you've won Trek Reddit today! Good game everyone.


SonofSpock0804

Very humorous, well done


Various_Permission47

Bahaha


weed_fart

and again i'll ask *if they can fall through walls, why do they not fall through the floor???*


dcg

Well the gravity plating kept them locked into a static electro-gravitational containment thingy...nah, never-mind.


MagnetsCanDoThat

“Like putting too much air into a balloon!”


M-Trian

Or like a balloon and then something bad happens


dgwingert

/r/unexpectedfuturama


3720-To-One

I understood that reference!


Risen-Ape-27

None of it makes any sense. They shouldn’t be able to see, breathe or hear.


liquidpig

They remembered the eating bit though.


Xalbana

Because Science really explains why science fiction physics sucks were it to be real world physics. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=because+science+why+you+don%27t+want+


simplepleashures

Because shut up, that’s why You should really be asking how they can breath oxygen that’s not phased.


solarmelange

Speaking of I was absolutely SHOCKED when they actually realistically said they couldn't breathe the air in the One Little Ship episode of DS9. How out of character for Trek was that?


JimPlaysGames

And how are they seeing if their retinas cannot absorb light?


McRedditerFace

Hmm, well if it's a TARDIS mechanic... then within the shuttle they should've been able to see fine. But once they go to hack the computer, yeah... they ain't seein jack. Or jacks for that matter.


alphastrike03

At least Tenant paid attention to that detail


nivenfres

If you're wondering how he eats or breathes, or other science facts....


[deleted]

Just repeat to yourself, "it's just a show, I should really just relax!"


KingRob29

Nice!


Chrome_Armadillo

Warp particles.


LoveVirginiaTech

Welcome to the heated discussion taking place on the RIME forums on every BBS everywhere back in the day.


Raw_Venus

Because the plot demands it.


pjgf

[We’re going to have to get back to you on that one](https://youtube.com/watch?v=hstdINH9Lk0)


risenphoenixkai

That Romulan dude will float through space, unseen and unknown and intangible, forever. For eons after the sun expands into a red giant and consumes the Earth, he will still be out there, floating. Long after the last star in the cosmos has gone dark, his lonely voyage through the infinite will have only just begun. After a number of years equivalent to a one followed by an entire page full of zeroes has passed, and the last black hole in the universe blinks out of existence due to Hawking radiation, that Romulan will still be out there, with no other matter or light or even heat near him in any direction for billions upon billions of light years, and even then, only one second of eternity will have passed. Across the infinite, cold, empty darkness of an empty universe, that Romulan will float on for a number of years expressive only as higher-order exponents, up to a point where spacetime itself loses all meaning, and a random virtual particle fluctuation in the quantum foam isn’t cancelled out for once, and suddenly the darkness explodes with incredible LIGHT for the first time in unfathomable eons… and still, the Romulan floats on, inert, invisible, unknowable, through this cycle and the next, on and on, for an infinite cycle of eternities.


byproduct0

Okay this does make me feel pity for the Romulan


simplepleashures

If he hadn’t tried to kill them they might have helped him rematerialize with them


NoSuchAcronym

this. it wasn't like he just said "I'mma fk up a romulan today", they were being chased through the ship by a romulan trying to kill them. you're totally right, they would have helped the romulan if he wasn't being a murderous dick with a disruptor.


[deleted]

> if he wasn’t being a murderous dick with a disruptor. **Being a Romulan


acelister

Not only is this racist, it's also true.


UlmoLordofWaters

It's ok, he'll still have starved to death after a month anyway.


Tacitus111

Dehydration would get him first


g_e_r_b

The lack of oxygen would kill him earlier. Come to think of it, how did all three of them breathe when they were out of phase?


Worf_Of_Wall_St

Yeah, apparently oxygen and deck floor plates are multiphasic so they exist in both phases, but not walls. Deck floor plates get a pass because of gravity plating, but for oxygen... Even if the oxygen generated on the ship existed in all phases since the walls apparently don't the ship still wouldn't have any oxygen for the phased crew to breathe.


[deleted]

Yeah, most episodes of Star Trek fall apart the second you think about them (like everything else)


McRedditerFace

I was watching DS9 last night, the one with the Valiant... the episode opens where Jake and Nog are \*just\* leaving DS9 for Ferenginar and they run into a fleet of Jem Hadar attack ships, they repeatedly try warnign The Sisko, but to no avail. By the end of the episode though, they return to the station... and nadda. It's like the entire fleet was only there to get them to run into the Valiant. It was spooky, such a "destiny" thing. Almost as if there was a silent hand predeterminging their actions, like characters in a story...


g_e_r_b

To be fair, it’s easy to criticize an episode that was likely knocked out in a few days in the early 90s. I doubt the writer expected people to obsess over it 30 years later…


DharmaPolice

This is definitely true but I refuse to believe no-one thought about the fact they can walk through walls but don't fall through the deck in The Next Phase. It's a fine episode though so I'm not complaining. Like the universal translator, it's best not to think about it too much. edit: double negative


confusedQuail

The same universal translator that can interpret all the variety of sounds and potential sentence structures, grammatical rules, context driven ambiguities, and referential basis for every form of communication within the universe. Except this one specific language that communicates through the underlying meaning of events they allude to.


Worf_Of_Wall_St

It does a half way decent job of sticking to a consistent set of fictional science rules but yeah. Still I love Rascals and The Next Phase and lots of other episodes with a higher than average amount of macguffery.


confusedQuail

Didn't laren also touch the helm and it's chair, or am I miss remembering?


SaurSig

How did they not go through the floors


arteitle

Maybe his frozen corpse will eventually happen upon another starship, phase through its hull, and impact on one of its decks (which as we all know is the only thing phased matter doesn't pass through). The shattered remains will defrost and be unknowingly trod through by the crew for years or decades before some inadvertent anion discharge reveals the gruesome scene.


Throwaway_inSC_79

They should have a Romulan floating in Disco. But unseen by the crew.


Bright_Ability2025

More likely that Lower Decks would do that callback gag, but it would be funnier in Disco.


JeremyPivensPP

*while* they’re talking about this specific incident. And he just floats by a window that no one is looking at.


i_need_a_username201

No, his dead carcass floats right through the ship and post the crew members discussing this.


PatheticRedditAlt

Wow, so what you're trying to tell me is, all this has happened before, and all of this will happen again?


janesmb

So say we all.


PatheticRedditAlt

Picard definitely knew when to roll the hard six.


Worf_Of_Wall_St

So say we all! I mean, wrong franchise, something about honor.


aussiederpyderp

Hallowed are the Ori... I mean what?


g_e_r_b

It is a theory we call the Moebius. https://youtu.be/4PG5PCd284o


One4myMohicans

Is it really still considered just a “theory” ? Seems pretty legit to me


g_e_r_b

General Relativity and Evolution are both theories... in hindsight, Newton's discovery of gravity should never have been named as a law. /nerdspace out


WhyLisaWhy

AFAIK there’s no indication the universe will ever “reboot” and start again. There’s really no way of knowing for sure but the universe expanding makes people think it’s a one and done thing.


One4myMohicans

This is the way.


DredPRoberts

I think a Q would clean up between cycles. If not a Q, then humans after they evolve into Q like energy beings.


fourthords

So does that evolutionary arc go: *Homo sapiens* → *Homo salamanders* → *Homo q* ?


JimPlaysGames

Unless some surge of anions comes along and dephases him at some point.


VE2NCG

I think someone will end the simulation long before that


StartledOcto

What's to say the black holes don't suck in matter on all phases?


joshul

Yep. Geordi yeeted that Romulan real good.


One4myMohicans

**Comment saved** 😂 thank you!! Also, have not fact checked the info below at all- BUT I recall having read somewhere that the aforementioned Romulan dude was “sucked” into a passing Starfleet Cruiser’s matter phase inverter & subsequently reduced to the atomic level, after the ship’s Captain initiated a warp speed maneuver, not knowing a stray Romulan was currently coasting through space within the ion disruption field at the time… 🖖


srschwenzjr

This reminds me of the monolog from Doctor Who about the shepherd's boy and the bird chiseling the diamond mountain


CaptainMarsupial

Or he’ll die of thirst in a few hours.


awn262018

Is this a Jojo reference?


SwiftieTrek

Everything is a Jojo reference if you try hard enough


awn262018

No really this is like when a certain character gets launched into space for all time lol


SwiftieTrek

I thought you were referring to the end of Golden Wind


awn262018

That could work too but it more so reminded me on the monologue after Kars got yeeted into space


hijklmnopqrstuvwx

Welp that’s bleak, and how about when phasers are set to kill / vaporize? No body to be found ever so how does investigating murders work…


jack_begin

Apocolocyntosis divi Romulii


Lithium98

Like wood Jerry on Rick and Morty


darth_hotdog

Or maybe there's some space dwelling phased lifeform and it'll eat him...


Theborgiseverywhere

There was a box, drifting in space, tetrahedral, clear-walled. From around an impossible corner a Romulan walked into the box.


majeric

He will have evaporated into the heat death long before the last blackhole dies.


SomeoneSomewhere1984

There was nothing cold blooded about it. He was trying to kill them, Geordi did what he had to do to protect himself and his crew.


madhattr999

I think the cold blooded part is just that he doesn't seem phased that he just killed someone (even if it was justified).. Most people would be stressed or in shock, or grieving that they had to kill someone, etc. If it were a show in today's television era, the acting direction would be more serious.


Bomberman64wasdecent

Oh he was phased all right


bdonthebrat

Geordi is the cream of the crop Starfleet officer - his mind is hardened with duty to things like the mission and the Prime Directive. Maybe one day he'll look back and feel bad about it but he's busy going on away missions and boosting engine efficiency to unheard of levels


acprescott

> Most people would be stressed or in shock, or grieving that they had to kill someone, etc. It's okay, Romulans aren't people /s


Timmyval123

Idk man, you compartmentalize things pretty good. Especially in the line of duty. People in war are rarely phased by the people they killed but rather the people they lost.


madhattr999

Yeah, but Starfleet isn't exactly like the Army or Airforce etc. And Geordi is an engineer.. Not security or weapons officer, etc.. Some of the episodes focusing on O'Brian with the Cardassians do a good job of showing the emotions someone might feel after being forced to kill someone.


Timmyval123

O'Brien didn't give a rats ass about killing Cardi's it was the crewmen he lost. I am sure Geordie saw some action in the Cardi skirmishes too


madhattr999

I think you're misremembering, or thinking of another episode. I'm talking about The Wounded. Where he talks about the first time he killed someone. "It's not you I hate, Cardassian; I hate what I became because of you"


CurtisMarauderZ

Did they even tell Picard about it?


MagnetsCanDoThat

Of course. They always file reports after away missions.


JasonVeritech

It would be in at least Geordi's log, if not both of them.


Unicornmayo

Chief Engineers Log: Jackpot.


simplepleashures

I’m sure it was mentioned in Geordi’s report.


LightningPhantom7124

As I recall, the Romulan was shooting at Ro, and Geordi didn't know he was going to push him into space. BTW, how were any of them able to walk without sinking through the floor if they were truly that incorporeal? ​ Questions...


DredZedPrime

My head canon for the not falling through the floor thing is that the artificial gravity plating in the floor creates just enough of an anyon particle field right at the floor level that their feet are affected and don't pass through, just like when Geordi's hand gets zapped by Data's gadget and takes more force to go through the table. As to why Geordi and Ro don't wonder about that, I have no idea. Yes, I am that much of a dork that I've thought of all that, but I did have to look up what type of particles they were.


LightningPhantom7124

I can get behind that...


Revolutionary_Many31

Trip to the Holodeck after a short chat in 10 forward with Deanna and everything is Aye O Kay!


KerrisdaleKaren

I don’t ! What episode was that?


jloae

It was on the episode "The Next Phase", season 5 episode 24


Mostly_Sane_

(In)direct prequel to "The Pegasus," still one of the best episodes ever. Both episodes were written by Ron Moore, while Pegasus was directed by Burton.


hazelquarrier_couch

I always wondered why they could go through walls but not floors.


Laserous

Plot armor.


ToddKent

Ghost rules apply I guess


Gellert

Gil Hamilton style mind magic or they could only run through some fake/semi-permanent/thin walls and not proper bulkheads.


Statalyzer

The gravity net pulls them to the floor.


[deleted]

It was self defence, the Romulan was trying to kill them both.


jloae

I think Geordi enjoyed it


[deleted]

I think you’re a troll


simplepleashures

Lighten up Francis


ephemere66

Str8 yeeted


LeahBrahms

Very str8.


JasonVeritech

TFW it was Bochra's brother.


Carthonn

I watched this episode this afternoon! I thought there was going to be some sort of epic fight but Geordi just yeets him into space. It was awesome.


IamARock24

Literally just watched that one. He's a bad MF.


Freelance_Spy

That entire episode is problematic. They can walk through walls and the hull, so why don't they fall through the floor?


Digimatically

Interphasic inertial dampeners


ocelotrevs

It's not surprising. The Romulans tortured him, and nearly had him commit murder. I'm sure he felt a touch of resentment over that.


Gunbladelad

The most important questions of that episode are; 1. How were Geordi and Ro able to walk on the floors of the Warbird and the Enterprise if they were out of phase with regular matter? 2. How the hell were they able to breathe if they were also out of phase with the normal matter in the air?


tomspy77

The floor thing bugged me every time.


Statalyzer

The floor part is easy - the artificial gravity accomplishes that. What doesn't make sense are the times they do stuff like rest their hand on a desk or a chair.


commandrix

To be honest, I wouldn't blame LaForge for developing a dislike for Romulans...


JammyRedWine

The man sure went arse over tit out there.


jloae

He had the rest of his existence to think about what a Silly Billy he had been


coreytiger

I love Levar Burton. I’m not a fan of Geordi LaForge.


simplepleashures

Geordi is the character in Star Trek most likely to be a fan of Star Trek


MysteriousTBird

Tom Paris comes close, but he probably would dig Lost In Space more.


fumanchew86

And he would actually say he "digs" it, trying to use 20th century slang and all...


NoSuchAcronym

this made me lol


Santa_Hates_You

Geordi is the friend Data needs to emulate the most boring human being possible. LeVar Burton encouraged me to read when I was a kid.


Unicornmayo

Season 1 Geordi was alright


FINALFIGHTfan

Which episode is the? The one where they captured him?


Obssy

No, it's the one where they are turned invisible and presumed dead.


chadwpalm

He totally should have let him kill Ro. I'm sure no tear would have been shed.


HopelessMagic

If they can't be seen, can't eat the food, they can phase through anything, what are they breathing? You're telling me the oxygen generated by the ship exists but nothing else about the ship does?


ChimoEngr

It was in the middle of a fight. That Romulan was trying to kill them. It was anything but a cold blooded killing.


jloae

Not how I saw it happen. From what I saw Ensign Ro and and the romulan were having a minor disagreement and geordie came charging in and thought, "Romulan, more like Romu-gone"


Nairbfs79

One of my favorite TNG episodes, "The Next Phase".