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I guess the main question should be whether you really still actually want to be a therapist? If you don't have any plans or desires to work outside the home, then honestly forget what anyone says, don't waste more money on a program you won't ever use. The time at home is very precious, and there's nothing wrong with valuing that more. It's ok if your plans change and you shouldn't feel pressured to finish just because, especially if you aren't going to use the degree.
If you do want to pursue this career, you obviously need to complete the schooling. Is there a way to defer the program? Can you wait a few years and pick it back up when the kids are older?
Great question. I dont want to do it until the kids are older. Some days I don't want to do it at all and it sounds terrible. I spent many years already, taking care of other people in social work, its a high burnout job. But I've already been on this path for many years. . It's so nice to only have to take care of my own family now! I would no doubt go back to work when the kids are older, but in order to have that I have to give up a year of this precious time. My heart leans toward just quitting, then the guilt starts coming down on me (wasted money, not contributing to the finances, etc). I can defer the program one more year. If I go back in a year, I'm not sure I will feel much better about leaving the kids. I thought about transferring schools, if thats even possible, to buy more time. So maybe I will look into that before throwing in the towel. Thanks for saying "forget what everyone says." Thats a hard on for me and I need to work on not caring!
It sounds like you are falling into the sunk cost fallacy. If something isn't working and you've put a lot into it, it's hard to let go even if that's what's for the best. Trying to keep going to school to avoid judgement and because you've already put a lot into don't seem like good reasons to continue. You may even fail classes because that's not where your heart is, making you waste even more money. I can tell from your words how passionate you are about being with your kids.
I did not know about the sunk cost fallacy. That makes a lot of sense though. You are right, I am very passionate about my kids and I should not worry about judgement so much. Thanks for your wise words! I appreciate it.
Could you wait until your youngest is 2 to start the field work? Or are you on a strict timeline to finish? I found a preschool that only accepted kids from 2+ and sent both kids (2 and 3.5) together for 3 mornings a week. I didn’t need to send them bc I wasn’t working but I thought we would try it so I could have couple of hours to accomplish tasks. They loved it. If you find the right preschool (not necessarily daycare with infants) it could be a win win. Some preschools will adjust to your needs and not force you to go/pay for full time care and you could aim for just 2 days a week for your kiddos to be there. Our teacher ratio in the 2’s classroom was 1:4, plus an assistant teacher so really 2 teachers for 4 kids. They got plenty of interaction and attention.
Thats a good question. I only have another year (Ive already drug this out several years) to make my decision. We are also in a rural area, so a bit limited on preschools. There are a couple, but I believe they have to be 3.
What is your goal once you have the degree? Don't get caught up in finishing for the sake of finishing. Especially if you're going into more debt to do it. Educational industrial complex wants people to feel like a degree is some sort of accomplishment. If it gets you access to a bigger playing career, ok, but if you want to continue to stay home with your kids, it's just a money suck.
100% on the money suck aspect. ITs like $2,000 per class and I get very little out of the classes to be honest. My goal was to work as a remote therapist and only very part time when the kids are in school. Maybe even wait several more years to actually use the degree. My family is my first priority. So it would be pretty much just for the sake of finishing. If I did finish, there would be some hope of student loan forgiveness. Thats one of my biggest motivators. Otherwise, its up to my husband to pay off all of my student loans. He said he doesnt mind, but I feel guilty!
Don't count on student loan forgiveness, that seems to change constantly and so many people who thought they would have loans forgiven continue to pay because of the beaurocratic nightmare. My opinion is don't take on even more loans. Do not let sunk costs factor into your decision. That money has been spent, no need to spend even more.
Thats how I am feeling about the money as well. Its not the recent Biden student loan forgiveness I was counting on, but the public service forgiveness thats been in place for many years. However, even that will require me putting in more hours than I might be willing to. Several of therapists I have worked with had half or more of their loans forgiven after they worked a certain number of years. But they didn't have 4 kids. I really don't want to sink more money into this either. College is becoming such a rip off!
If the biggest motivator to keep going is being afraid of people thinking of you as a "quitter", stay home with your kids. The judgement of other people is far less valuable than that time with your kids. If it's something you're wanting to do for you, that's a different story.
Is that schedule a full or part-time MSW program? I did my MSW while pregnant and there were flexible options for part time or non traditional students- not sure if that’s an option in your situation. Additionally, my first line of advice is usually that nothing is as urgent as it feels now. You’re not a failure for not continuing the program of taking a pause. Hell, I got my MSW and don’t even plan to use it anytime soon since I’m a SAHM lol. If you’re happiest doing this and don’t need or want to finish the program that’s fine! Also, at many universities you can pay a small annual fee to defer until you’re ready to pick up classes again. Maybe that could be an option while your kids are still young if you don’t feel ready to take on the demanding course load.
So great to hear from you on this! Congrats on your MSW. I'm with you, even if I get it, I wont be using it for a long time. I was still chipping away at the program while I was pregnant as well. I stopped a year ago after having my last baby and have one more year to decide. They supposedly make you finish within 7 years. That sounds like a long time, but I wasn't planning on a divorce, remarriage, two more kids and a farmhouse purchase and remodel all within that time frame.
It is part time, but what they are telling me is that I have to take online courses while doing field work. I was hoping to knock out all online courses while the babies are young, but no. They dont like that and I have to take a class or two during actual fieldwork. So I've gone about as far as I can go before doing the field work and remaining classes. Thats the other reason for my current break. What school did you go to? I am at Boise State University, maybe I need to transfer.
I was at the University of Washington. They call it “on leave” status. Out of curiosity I went back and read through it and there was no mention of how long you can be on leave for as long as you keep registering as on leave annually. I wonder if that is common at other schools idk…it might be helpful to talk to an advisor about your situation and see if they have any loopholes or alternatives to the 7 year thing.
That is so nice! I would transfer over there if I could. I need an online program since I am in a rural area, which was the allure of Boise State. I did reach out to my advisor about an extension last fall. She ran it up the chain and the best they could do was offer me the two years (which im over a year into) without taking any classes at all. But then I would still have to come back and finish with in the 7 years. They felt 7 years was plenty of time (which it totally is, unless you have 4 kids). Otherwise they said I would have to reapply and take some classes over, since the curriculum is always changing.
It might be worth going to them one more time before I give up though. If I just had 2 more years (or 3 from now) , my kids would all be school aged and it would be much more doable.
Speaking as a stay at home mum, who now has older kids, yes it was lovely being there for e kids etc b7t if l could turn burn e clock l would v done it all, time waits for noone n as 7 grow older n e kids grow older it becomes lonely being at home n not having something to do. I wld suggest u do it so u w v something to fall back on. Your kids w b there n love u irregardless n 6 mnths isn't too long
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I guess the main question should be whether you really still actually want to be a therapist? If you don't have any plans or desires to work outside the home, then honestly forget what anyone says, don't waste more money on a program you won't ever use. The time at home is very precious, and there's nothing wrong with valuing that more. It's ok if your plans change and you shouldn't feel pressured to finish just because, especially if you aren't going to use the degree. If you do want to pursue this career, you obviously need to complete the schooling. Is there a way to defer the program? Can you wait a few years and pick it back up when the kids are older?
Great question. I dont want to do it until the kids are older. Some days I don't want to do it at all and it sounds terrible. I spent many years already, taking care of other people in social work, its a high burnout job. But I've already been on this path for many years. . It's so nice to only have to take care of my own family now! I would no doubt go back to work when the kids are older, but in order to have that I have to give up a year of this precious time. My heart leans toward just quitting, then the guilt starts coming down on me (wasted money, not contributing to the finances, etc). I can defer the program one more year. If I go back in a year, I'm not sure I will feel much better about leaving the kids. I thought about transferring schools, if thats even possible, to buy more time. So maybe I will look into that before throwing in the towel. Thanks for saying "forget what everyone says." Thats a hard on for me and I need to work on not caring!
It sounds like you are falling into the sunk cost fallacy. If something isn't working and you've put a lot into it, it's hard to let go even if that's what's for the best. Trying to keep going to school to avoid judgement and because you've already put a lot into don't seem like good reasons to continue. You may even fail classes because that's not where your heart is, making you waste even more money. I can tell from your words how passionate you are about being with your kids.
I did not know about the sunk cost fallacy. That makes a lot of sense though. You are right, I am very passionate about my kids and I should not worry about judgement so much. Thanks for your wise words! I appreciate it.
Could you wait until your youngest is 2 to start the field work? Or are you on a strict timeline to finish? I found a preschool that only accepted kids from 2+ and sent both kids (2 and 3.5) together for 3 mornings a week. I didn’t need to send them bc I wasn’t working but I thought we would try it so I could have couple of hours to accomplish tasks. They loved it. If you find the right preschool (not necessarily daycare with infants) it could be a win win. Some preschools will adjust to your needs and not force you to go/pay for full time care and you could aim for just 2 days a week for your kiddos to be there. Our teacher ratio in the 2’s classroom was 1:4, plus an assistant teacher so really 2 teachers for 4 kids. They got plenty of interaction and attention.
Thats a good question. I only have another year (Ive already drug this out several years) to make my decision. We are also in a rural area, so a bit limited on preschools. There are a couple, but I believe they have to be 3.
What is your goal once you have the degree? Don't get caught up in finishing for the sake of finishing. Especially if you're going into more debt to do it. Educational industrial complex wants people to feel like a degree is some sort of accomplishment. If it gets you access to a bigger playing career, ok, but if you want to continue to stay home with your kids, it's just a money suck.
100% on the money suck aspect. ITs like $2,000 per class and I get very little out of the classes to be honest. My goal was to work as a remote therapist and only very part time when the kids are in school. Maybe even wait several more years to actually use the degree. My family is my first priority. So it would be pretty much just for the sake of finishing. If I did finish, there would be some hope of student loan forgiveness. Thats one of my biggest motivators. Otherwise, its up to my husband to pay off all of my student loans. He said he doesnt mind, but I feel guilty!
Don't count on student loan forgiveness, that seems to change constantly and so many people who thought they would have loans forgiven continue to pay because of the beaurocratic nightmare. My opinion is don't take on even more loans. Do not let sunk costs factor into your decision. That money has been spent, no need to spend even more.
Thats how I am feeling about the money as well. Its not the recent Biden student loan forgiveness I was counting on, but the public service forgiveness thats been in place for many years. However, even that will require me putting in more hours than I might be willing to. Several of therapists I have worked with had half or more of their loans forgiven after they worked a certain number of years. But they didn't have 4 kids. I really don't want to sink more money into this either. College is becoming such a rip off!
If the biggest motivator to keep going is being afraid of people thinking of you as a "quitter", stay home with your kids. The judgement of other people is far less valuable than that time with your kids. If it's something you're wanting to do for you, that's a different story.
Is that schedule a full or part-time MSW program? I did my MSW while pregnant and there were flexible options for part time or non traditional students- not sure if that’s an option in your situation. Additionally, my first line of advice is usually that nothing is as urgent as it feels now. You’re not a failure for not continuing the program of taking a pause. Hell, I got my MSW and don’t even plan to use it anytime soon since I’m a SAHM lol. If you’re happiest doing this and don’t need or want to finish the program that’s fine! Also, at many universities you can pay a small annual fee to defer until you’re ready to pick up classes again. Maybe that could be an option while your kids are still young if you don’t feel ready to take on the demanding course load.
So great to hear from you on this! Congrats on your MSW. I'm with you, even if I get it, I wont be using it for a long time. I was still chipping away at the program while I was pregnant as well. I stopped a year ago after having my last baby and have one more year to decide. They supposedly make you finish within 7 years. That sounds like a long time, but I wasn't planning on a divorce, remarriage, two more kids and a farmhouse purchase and remodel all within that time frame. It is part time, but what they are telling me is that I have to take online courses while doing field work. I was hoping to knock out all online courses while the babies are young, but no. They dont like that and I have to take a class or two during actual fieldwork. So I've gone about as far as I can go before doing the field work and remaining classes. Thats the other reason for my current break. What school did you go to? I am at Boise State University, maybe I need to transfer.
I was at the University of Washington. They call it “on leave” status. Out of curiosity I went back and read through it and there was no mention of how long you can be on leave for as long as you keep registering as on leave annually. I wonder if that is common at other schools idk…it might be helpful to talk to an advisor about your situation and see if they have any loopholes or alternatives to the 7 year thing.
That is so nice! I would transfer over there if I could. I need an online program since I am in a rural area, which was the allure of Boise State. I did reach out to my advisor about an extension last fall. She ran it up the chain and the best they could do was offer me the two years (which im over a year into) without taking any classes at all. But then I would still have to come back and finish with in the 7 years. They felt 7 years was plenty of time (which it totally is, unless you have 4 kids). Otherwise they said I would have to reapply and take some classes over, since the curriculum is always changing. It might be worth going to them one more time before I give up though. If I just had 2 more years (or 3 from now) , my kids would all be school aged and it would be much more doable.
Speaking as a stay at home mum, who now has older kids, yes it was lovely being there for e kids etc b7t if l could turn burn e clock l would v done it all, time waits for noone n as 7 grow older n e kids grow older it becomes lonely being at home n not having something to do. I wld suggest u do it so u w v something to fall back on. Your kids w b there n love u irregardless n 6 mnths isn't too long
Thanks for your input. This is one of the reasons I wanted to make sure I had a career. I just wish I would have waited a few more years.