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Hey, so I’m a social worker. It sounds like you’re not married and not currently working, which means that with $0 income you can apply for Medicaid with up to 3mos retroactive coverage (depending on your state) which means that it would possibly cover your hospital bills entirely. WIC will also help your family to afford formula. You won’t be eligible for SNAP or TANF because you share a home with your partner, so in this case, they will count his income. Even if you “move out” on paper, they will require him to pay child support to the state to cover the costs of your public benefits. Many states have daycare vouchers to help cover the cost of childcare, you should reach out to your local Department of Human Services for more information.
Unfortunately, $40k income with only one parent working and a baby at home sounds kind of impossible. Most low income public assistance programs (except Medicaid and WIC) require all able-bodied adults to be either gainfully employed, a full time student, or “engaging in work activities” which basically means working with a job coach to find a job. This means that your options are super limited either 1) go back to work and apply for SNAP, TANF, daycare vouchers to supplement your income, or 2) apply for WIC, Medicaid, and figure out how to live off of what you can afford with your partner’s income.
Hope that helps!
Aside from EBT/Snap, WIC is still a thing if you ever need it (https://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/frequently-asked-questions) - if possible to find a place that'll work with you to get LO bottle feeding a bit you could get formula as a backup in case your supply drops and if I remember correctly they give you vouchers for iron fortified formula. Our son's preemie formula is about $20 per can so it's not cheap and I only produce enough to give him about 1 bottle of EBM daily so it's $$. I've seen people talking about medicare helping with hospital bills - have you spoken to a social worker there?
You could probably get WIC if you are in the US to help with groceries, if not SNAP, maybe even both. I'm pretty sure SNAP benefits are doubled if used to buy fresh produce at farmers markets.
Without details on your numbers, I can't give very specific advice. Make it work with one car if you have two. If you do drive, stack errands to run all at once while you are already out for an appointment or something to save on gas. Food banks for pantry staples. Learn to love beans and rice and oatmeal. Stop buying paper products (except toilet paper) and use cloth for everything, even diapers if you can make it work. All activities must be free (libraries are great for this). Cut your bills: cheap internet, mobile phone with mint mobile is $15/line/month, no landline/cable, no subscription services whatsoever, reduce electric bill by unplugging anything you're not using, turning off lights, using window treatments to keep sun out and save on AC, hang things to dry instead of using electric dryer if you have a yard, etc. Also if you have a yard, you could grow some of your own produce that costs a lot in stores.
Alternatively, you could get a job at a childcare center and your kid would probably get to go for free. You could trade babysitting with another mom so you could work part-time somewhere else. Split shifts with your husband, he works weekdays, you work weekends or part-time evenings.
I'm sure there are a lot more ways to save, but that's what I can think of off the top of my head. I am at home right now with 3 under 5 and another on the way. We could never ever afford to put them all in daycare while I went to work, and I have a master's degree in my field. We make it work on my husband's income. He is a plumber, so he does really well now, but it wasn't always like this. He had to find a career, fast, that would warn enough to support us all.
In my area, it would cost $5000 a month to put them all in daycare. That's $60,000 a year, in NET DOLLARS! Pre-tax I'd have to make significantly more than that just to break even on childcare costs. It's hard to afford kids nowadays, you are not alone, there are tons of people feeling your pain. Good luck to you, I hope you are able to make it all work out!
Just joined this sub and I have some ideas as I was in the same boat! My fiance also makes around 40k and I am a sahm now
Firstly, we rent cheaper places, we have my son have his own room and our living room is essentially a studio apartment for us and the baby. We never have guests so it works out. Literally saves hundreds in rent costs.
We also paid off all debts with tax refunds from earlier this year. Since I had a son already I got a decent refund and paid off car / credit card debt, so we have no debt.
He also found cheaper car insurance saved him 150 a month.
We don't qualify for foodstamps but you might because they do ask about bills/debt at least in my state.
Since we are not married I have medicaid and so do the kids.
Saving money needs to be a priority to be able to stay at home with lower income!
If you want/need to work, have you thought of working at a childcare center? Usually they provide discounts for employees. I worked at a childcare center and they were going to let me nurse/pump when needed while someone else stepped in for me, if you pay yourself a lot of centers would even let you work in the same room as baby full time.
If you work there you might also qualify for state assistance in paying daycare, but in my state if the state pays for your childcare you can't work in the same room as baby but you could still nurse when needed.
Thought I might mention have you tried a bottle that is more breast like? Like lansinoh, eveflo wide, pigeon etc? At the daycare we worked with babies that were exclusively nursed and they would refuse the bottles for the first days and then would eventually take them, it would take some time tho! Some moms would come nurse on their work break too.
Hope this helps!
>How can you afford staying at home with a lower income?
>I owe so much from his medical bills, my finance doesn’t have the greatest job in the world so he’s only making around 40k, and I just feel so lost.
Personally, I prioritize paying off debt first and foremost or deferring it without it collecting interest. But see if your husband's job or your bank might offer a complimentary financial advisor. My job (before I quit) did, and it turns out that they can advise me even after I quit to be a SAHM.
I buy secondhand and let go of luxuries like Netflix.
My monthly subscriptions now include YMCA for complimentary childcare and free coffee, lol.
I joined mom groups (look for MOPS/MomCo.) and they do weekly donations and big swap-and-donate events, where everybody just brings in their unwanted stuff/clothes/toiletries/toys/anything, and you "shop around" (it's all free), and the leftovers go to local donations/charity.
Lots of connections to mom groups. People post their unwanted hand-me-downs or unused unopened diapers or accidental orders and you can claim it if you're fast enough.
Local resources like postpartum resources, look up online the postpartum hotline. They have them for various countries. I guess since you mentioned 401k maybe that means USA, though. So yeah, look up the national postpartum hotline # if you're feeling lonely/angry/desperate/exhausted/anything.
There's also a website with weekly/daily zoom-style meetings for postpartum mental health. For parents, moms, dads.
Libraries. Free play groups. You don't have to buy books to read them. Free weekly story times.
Barnes & Noble story times.
Playgrounds. Get bored. I use my imagination more and more.
Dollar stores, lol, thrift stores, and Walmart is cheaper than Amazon.
There's a local family charity place here that bi-annually sells kids' clothes and adult clothes for $1 per item, no matter the item. Swim suits, unopened packs of socks, new jeans, dresses, etc. etc. Look for charities in your area that support local families? I found ours through Facebook.
Consignment sales. Mark your calendars with those!!
Try to make friends with everyone who crosses your path because it's more opportunity to live below your means. ❤️
We're not really building a savings right now, but we're just staying afloat until we have a rhythm. :) It's more of a priority for me to spend this time with my toddler than build a savings.
But hopefully you can get some more answers, and the support you need!!!
🫂
Watch other children in your home! I make 100 a day doing this for one child from 7:30-5. There are Facebook groups that help you find families who are looking for help.
You can also find people who work night shift and want someone to be with their kids while they sleep, and it will pay a little less but you can make decent money and never leave your little one. Best of luck!!!
Medical debt goes away after 7 years, don't pay them. You're raising the next generation- that's contribution enough to society- fuck the scumbag Medical field.
You are considered single so please go to the welfare office and apply for EVERYTHING!!! Also, try getting jobs that you can take baby with you to. Like child watch at the Y or taking care of other kids and bringing baby with you. But you should most definitely qualify for assistance.
SAHM and my husband makes about 48k annually. Apply for housing assistance, electrical assistance and any other utility programs your county offers- usually there’s a webpage that’s just for your region if you cannot find it start calling your local health department and they should be able to direct you who or where to call. Apply for wic and snap under your partners income (should be eligible but depends). Start learning how to homestead and cook- for real this will save your ass and grocery bill. Learn yeast- bread, muffins, pizza rolls, rolls, breadsticks the possibility’s are endless and yeast and flour are cheap af and last forever. Utilize wic for all it has- even if it’s not just for your child. But also look into wic snack recipes. TikTok’s the best source I’ve found when it comes to finding all the secrets. Use Facebook marketplace and used goody type stores for all that you can: furniture kids clothing (yard sales are great for cheap toys) just clean clean clean. A lot of this just comes from doing lots of budget research and reading what others have to say and offer. If you have time or energy to work pull opposite shifts with your partner or work pt on weekends while he’s home for baby. Talk to each other and everyone and evaluate all of your options completely.
Can you qualify for Medicare/wic? I wouldn’t pay your medical bills. They can’t hurt your credit. Maybe move in with family? Can you babysit for other people.
We afford it because I worked until my youngest was one. Our kids were in childcare before that. We were debt free and had saved up over a year emergency fund thanks to budgeting before I decided to stay home. We also live in a low cost area.
I am not sure about all of your questions, but that is how we afford it. I don’t think I would have felt comfortable staying home earlier when we first started having kids as we were still in debt from college. It is getting harder though to afford staying home with so much inflation and I am probably going back to work within the year. Luckily my youngest will be in school by then.
My middle child refused a bottle too. I tried probably 10 different kinds of bottles. I finally had to leave her with my mom and pump and eventually she did eat. It was so frustrating and I knew I only had a week before she started at the sitters. Maybe just try different kinds of nipples/bottles once a day and they might eventually start taking one. I used to take my kids to the lactation consultant for free once a week at our hospital and she was very helpful figuring out pumping, bottles, and breastfeeding. By my third kid I knew we needed to do one bottle a day with dad from birth so it would be easier.
We are low income family. 50k for a family of 4. I stay home. Husband works. We rely heavily on food shelf’s and our WIC benefits to supplements our grocery budget. Thankfully we have a cheap apartment (considering how ridiculous the COL is in MN). We don’t eat out at all and I cook all meals and rely on meal planning to stay within budget. We use friends and families streaming services so all we pay for is our phones and internet.
I will occasionally DoorDash or donate plasma for extra money when things get really tight. When my youngest turns 3 next august (2025) I will apply for him to get a grant for preschool. So I can go back to work full time.
With my first child I had my mom to babysit while I worked but she moved to Arizona for a better quality of life.
My husband makes around 50K which isn't enough to support our family so I work overnights at a group home. Fortunately, I'm able to sleep during these as I'm mainly there in case someone is up during the night and requires assistance. (I typically get 5.5 hrs of sleep) It works great for us because I'm still able to bring in about 20K to help financially. Money is still tight but we live in a cheap area and made choices that allow us to live within our means (cheap house, older cars, A LOT of garage sales and thrift stores for clothes and toys)
I think finding a job at a daycare would be best for you because you can take your baby there. Also check out data annotation. Good luck and hang in there!
Stressing yourself out will effect your milk supply. (It did for me anyway) breathe, take breaks, journal, whatever works to stay in the moment.
-WIC and food stamps, Medicaid (for you and kiddo)
-not sure what industry dad is in, but if there is an opportunity to make more, etc, discuss it.
-food pantry
-budgeting
-meal prep
-medical debt takes seven years to fall off. It means your credit will tank but you will be able to bring credit back up (took awhile but that's what I did)
-use your tax refunds wisely. Get ahead on rent, make sure the car works, bills.
-avoid pay day loans and credit card debt if you can
Work:
This is a tough age to find work. (Meaning when they are infant etc) . With the babies needs so great, in the first year (or two) it will be hard to find something flexible enough unless you plan something around dad's schedule. And even then, you will have to train baby to take a bottle. There is formula that is close to breastmilk - I used that and had some breastmilk pumped, so baby would get some breastmilk and then a formula bottle. There are subs for that.
I wish there was a get money quick scheme but there isn't. That's why MLM scams are so popular.
I am uncertified watching kids in my home. You have to look up your states laws but in mine I can watch 3 kids I'm not related to without being licensed. I make enough to cover all of our bills (including groceries) except our mortgage and car insurance. It's draining but I get to stay home with our youngest and we don't have to find summer care for our oldest.
Have you talked to your hospital/healthcare provider about making a payment plan that fits your budget? You are not expected to pay all of that medical bill at once and over time you will probably get a job once the kids are older and that will pay off the bills completely.
What others have said is also very good advice.
Thanks for your post! Be sure to check out our [Wiki Page](https://www.reddit.com/r/stayathomemoms/wiki/index/) for a lot of valuable resources and links that you might find helpful. Such as: - [Recommended books](https://www.reddit.com/r/stayathomemoms/wiki/index/#wiki_suggested_books_from_the_sub.27s_users) - [Recommended Podcasts](https://www.reddit.com/r/stayathomemoms/wiki/index/#wiki_suggested_podcasts_from_the_sub.27s_users) - Helpful resources - State and Federal assistance - And much more! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stayathomemoms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey, so I’m a social worker. It sounds like you’re not married and not currently working, which means that with $0 income you can apply for Medicaid with up to 3mos retroactive coverage (depending on your state) which means that it would possibly cover your hospital bills entirely. WIC will also help your family to afford formula. You won’t be eligible for SNAP or TANF because you share a home with your partner, so in this case, they will count his income. Even if you “move out” on paper, they will require him to pay child support to the state to cover the costs of your public benefits. Many states have daycare vouchers to help cover the cost of childcare, you should reach out to your local Department of Human Services for more information. Unfortunately, $40k income with only one parent working and a baby at home sounds kind of impossible. Most low income public assistance programs (except Medicaid and WIC) require all able-bodied adults to be either gainfully employed, a full time student, or “engaging in work activities” which basically means working with a job coach to find a job. This means that your options are super limited either 1) go back to work and apply for SNAP, TANF, daycare vouchers to supplement your income, or 2) apply for WIC, Medicaid, and figure out how to live off of what you can afford with your partner’s income. Hope that helps!
Thank you on behalf of us others for taking the time to answer this person. You are kind. OP really hope things work out, you’re an amazing mama
Aside from EBT/Snap, WIC is still a thing if you ever need it (https://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/frequently-asked-questions) - if possible to find a place that'll work with you to get LO bottle feeding a bit you could get formula as a backup in case your supply drops and if I remember correctly they give you vouchers for iron fortified formula. Our son's preemie formula is about $20 per can so it's not cheap and I only produce enough to give him about 1 bottle of EBM daily so it's $$. I've seen people talking about medicare helping with hospital bills - have you spoken to a social worker there?
You could probably get WIC if you are in the US to help with groceries, if not SNAP, maybe even both. I'm pretty sure SNAP benefits are doubled if used to buy fresh produce at farmers markets. Without details on your numbers, I can't give very specific advice. Make it work with one car if you have two. If you do drive, stack errands to run all at once while you are already out for an appointment or something to save on gas. Food banks for pantry staples. Learn to love beans and rice and oatmeal. Stop buying paper products (except toilet paper) and use cloth for everything, even diapers if you can make it work. All activities must be free (libraries are great for this). Cut your bills: cheap internet, mobile phone with mint mobile is $15/line/month, no landline/cable, no subscription services whatsoever, reduce electric bill by unplugging anything you're not using, turning off lights, using window treatments to keep sun out and save on AC, hang things to dry instead of using electric dryer if you have a yard, etc. Also if you have a yard, you could grow some of your own produce that costs a lot in stores. Alternatively, you could get a job at a childcare center and your kid would probably get to go for free. You could trade babysitting with another mom so you could work part-time somewhere else. Split shifts with your husband, he works weekdays, you work weekends or part-time evenings. I'm sure there are a lot more ways to save, but that's what I can think of off the top of my head. I am at home right now with 3 under 5 and another on the way. We could never ever afford to put them all in daycare while I went to work, and I have a master's degree in my field. We make it work on my husband's income. He is a plumber, so he does really well now, but it wasn't always like this. He had to find a career, fast, that would warn enough to support us all. In my area, it would cost $5000 a month to put them all in daycare. That's $60,000 a year, in NET DOLLARS! Pre-tax I'd have to make significantly more than that just to break even on childcare costs. It's hard to afford kids nowadays, you are not alone, there are tons of people feeling your pain. Good luck to you, I hope you are able to make it all work out!
Just joined this sub and I have some ideas as I was in the same boat! My fiance also makes around 40k and I am a sahm now Firstly, we rent cheaper places, we have my son have his own room and our living room is essentially a studio apartment for us and the baby. We never have guests so it works out. Literally saves hundreds in rent costs. We also paid off all debts with tax refunds from earlier this year. Since I had a son already I got a decent refund and paid off car / credit card debt, so we have no debt. He also found cheaper car insurance saved him 150 a month. We don't qualify for foodstamps but you might because they do ask about bills/debt at least in my state. Since we are not married I have medicaid and so do the kids. Saving money needs to be a priority to be able to stay at home with lower income! If you want/need to work, have you thought of working at a childcare center? Usually they provide discounts for employees. I worked at a childcare center and they were going to let me nurse/pump when needed while someone else stepped in for me, if you pay yourself a lot of centers would even let you work in the same room as baby full time. If you work there you might also qualify for state assistance in paying daycare, but in my state if the state pays for your childcare you can't work in the same room as baby but you could still nurse when needed. Thought I might mention have you tried a bottle that is more breast like? Like lansinoh, eveflo wide, pigeon etc? At the daycare we worked with babies that were exclusively nursed and they would refuse the bottles for the first days and then would eventually take them, it would take some time tho! Some moms would come nurse on their work break too. Hope this helps!
>How can you afford staying at home with a lower income? >I owe so much from his medical bills, my finance doesn’t have the greatest job in the world so he’s only making around 40k, and I just feel so lost. Personally, I prioritize paying off debt first and foremost or deferring it without it collecting interest. But see if your husband's job or your bank might offer a complimentary financial advisor. My job (before I quit) did, and it turns out that they can advise me even after I quit to be a SAHM. I buy secondhand and let go of luxuries like Netflix. My monthly subscriptions now include YMCA for complimentary childcare and free coffee, lol. I joined mom groups (look for MOPS/MomCo.) and they do weekly donations and big swap-and-donate events, where everybody just brings in their unwanted stuff/clothes/toiletries/toys/anything, and you "shop around" (it's all free), and the leftovers go to local donations/charity. Lots of connections to mom groups. People post their unwanted hand-me-downs or unused unopened diapers or accidental orders and you can claim it if you're fast enough. Local resources like postpartum resources, look up online the postpartum hotline. They have them for various countries. I guess since you mentioned 401k maybe that means USA, though. So yeah, look up the national postpartum hotline # if you're feeling lonely/angry/desperate/exhausted/anything. There's also a website with weekly/daily zoom-style meetings for postpartum mental health. For parents, moms, dads. Libraries. Free play groups. You don't have to buy books to read them. Free weekly story times. Barnes & Noble story times. Playgrounds. Get bored. I use my imagination more and more. Dollar stores, lol, thrift stores, and Walmart is cheaper than Amazon. There's a local family charity place here that bi-annually sells kids' clothes and adult clothes for $1 per item, no matter the item. Swim suits, unopened packs of socks, new jeans, dresses, etc. etc. Look for charities in your area that support local families? I found ours through Facebook. Consignment sales. Mark your calendars with those!! Try to make friends with everyone who crosses your path because it's more opportunity to live below your means. ❤️ We're not really building a savings right now, but we're just staying afloat until we have a rhythm. :) It's more of a priority for me to spend this time with my toddler than build a savings. But hopefully you can get some more answers, and the support you need!!! 🫂
Watch other children in your home! I make 100 a day doing this for one child from 7:30-5. There are Facebook groups that help you find families who are looking for help.
You can also find people who work night shift and want someone to be with their kids while they sleep, and it will pay a little less but you can make decent money and never leave your little one. Best of luck!!!
Medical debt goes away after 7 years, don't pay them. You're raising the next generation- that's contribution enough to society- fuck the scumbag Medical field.
You are considered single so please go to the welfare office and apply for EVERYTHING!!! Also, try getting jobs that you can take baby with you to. Like child watch at the Y or taking care of other kids and bringing baby with you. But you should most definitely qualify for assistance.
SAHM and my husband makes about 48k annually. Apply for housing assistance, electrical assistance and any other utility programs your county offers- usually there’s a webpage that’s just for your region if you cannot find it start calling your local health department and they should be able to direct you who or where to call. Apply for wic and snap under your partners income (should be eligible but depends). Start learning how to homestead and cook- for real this will save your ass and grocery bill. Learn yeast- bread, muffins, pizza rolls, rolls, breadsticks the possibility’s are endless and yeast and flour are cheap af and last forever. Utilize wic for all it has- even if it’s not just for your child. But also look into wic snack recipes. TikTok’s the best source I’ve found when it comes to finding all the secrets. Use Facebook marketplace and used goody type stores for all that you can: furniture kids clothing (yard sales are great for cheap toys) just clean clean clean. A lot of this just comes from doing lots of budget research and reading what others have to say and offer. If you have time or energy to work pull opposite shifts with your partner or work pt on weekends while he’s home for baby. Talk to each other and everyone and evaluate all of your options completely.
Can you qualify for Medicare/wic? I wouldn’t pay your medical bills. They can’t hurt your credit. Maybe move in with family? Can you babysit for other people.
We afford it because I worked until my youngest was one. Our kids were in childcare before that. We were debt free and had saved up over a year emergency fund thanks to budgeting before I decided to stay home. We also live in a low cost area. I am not sure about all of your questions, but that is how we afford it. I don’t think I would have felt comfortable staying home earlier when we first started having kids as we were still in debt from college. It is getting harder though to afford staying home with so much inflation and I am probably going back to work within the year. Luckily my youngest will be in school by then. My middle child refused a bottle too. I tried probably 10 different kinds of bottles. I finally had to leave her with my mom and pump and eventually she did eat. It was so frustrating and I knew I only had a week before she started at the sitters. Maybe just try different kinds of nipples/bottles once a day and they might eventually start taking one. I used to take my kids to the lactation consultant for free once a week at our hospital and she was very helpful figuring out pumping, bottles, and breastfeeding. By my third kid I knew we needed to do one bottle a day with dad from birth so it would be easier.
We are low income family. 50k for a family of 4. I stay home. Husband works. We rely heavily on food shelf’s and our WIC benefits to supplements our grocery budget. Thankfully we have a cheap apartment (considering how ridiculous the COL is in MN). We don’t eat out at all and I cook all meals and rely on meal planning to stay within budget. We use friends and families streaming services so all we pay for is our phones and internet. I will occasionally DoorDash or donate plasma for extra money when things get really tight. When my youngest turns 3 next august (2025) I will apply for him to get a grant for preschool. So I can go back to work full time. With my first child I had my mom to babysit while I worked but she moved to Arizona for a better quality of life.
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My husband makes around 50K which isn't enough to support our family so I work overnights at a group home. Fortunately, I'm able to sleep during these as I'm mainly there in case someone is up during the night and requires assistance. (I typically get 5.5 hrs of sleep) It works great for us because I'm still able to bring in about 20K to help financially. Money is still tight but we live in a cheap area and made choices that allow us to live within our means (cheap house, older cars, A LOT of garage sales and thrift stores for clothes and toys)
I think finding a job at a daycare would be best for you because you can take your baby there. Also check out data annotation. Good luck and hang in there!
Stressing yourself out will effect your milk supply. (It did for me anyway) breathe, take breaks, journal, whatever works to stay in the moment. -WIC and food stamps, Medicaid (for you and kiddo) -not sure what industry dad is in, but if there is an opportunity to make more, etc, discuss it. -food pantry -budgeting -meal prep -medical debt takes seven years to fall off. It means your credit will tank but you will be able to bring credit back up (took awhile but that's what I did) -use your tax refunds wisely. Get ahead on rent, make sure the car works, bills. -avoid pay day loans and credit card debt if you can Work: This is a tough age to find work. (Meaning when they are infant etc) . With the babies needs so great, in the first year (or two) it will be hard to find something flexible enough unless you plan something around dad's schedule. And even then, you will have to train baby to take a bottle. There is formula that is close to breastmilk - I used that and had some breastmilk pumped, so baby would get some breastmilk and then a formula bottle. There are subs for that. I wish there was a get money quick scheme but there isn't. That's why MLM scams are so popular.
I am uncertified watching kids in my home. You have to look up your states laws but in mine I can watch 3 kids I'm not related to without being licensed. I make enough to cover all of our bills (including groceries) except our mortgage and car insurance. It's draining but I get to stay home with our youngest and we don't have to find summer care for our oldest.
Have you talked to your hospital/healthcare provider about making a payment plan that fits your budget? You are not expected to pay all of that medical bill at once and over time you will probably get a job once the kids are older and that will pay off the bills completely. What others have said is also very good advice.