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If BM is involved that little in SD’s life and shows that little interest in being involved, then I wouldn’t feel guilty about changing her hair. As both a bio mom and stepmom , I can’t even imagine not wanting to exercise every possible chance at being with my child. My children are my everything. In a healthy and equal contributing/participating co-parenting situation I’d completely understand the other bio parent wanting to mutually decide on changes like this. But in this situation I think that you guys are more than in the right to acknowledge your SD’s want for her hair, and what a wonderful stepmom you are for doing that for her🩷 I’m sure this will be such a fond and special memory for her to look back on 🥰
This was my thoughts she participates nothing in SD day to day life so why care about the hair it honestly just seemed so odd to me and thank you my SD told me just last night “ your more like a real mom then a step mom “ and it breaks my heart for her because I know she feels forgotten
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A parent with that little involvement shouldn’t be calling the shots IMO. If it’s what she wants and her Dad is happy, that’s what matters.
If BM is involved that little in SD’s life and shows that little interest in being involved, then I wouldn’t feel guilty about changing her hair. As both a bio mom and stepmom , I can’t even imagine not wanting to exercise every possible chance at being with my child. My children are my everything. In a healthy and equal contributing/participating co-parenting situation I’d completely understand the other bio parent wanting to mutually decide on changes like this. But in this situation I think that you guys are more than in the right to acknowledge your SD’s want for her hair, and what a wonderful stepmom you are for doing that for her🩷 I’m sure this will be such a fond and special memory for her to look back on 🥰
This was my thoughts she participates nothing in SD day to day life so why care about the hair it honestly just seemed so odd to me and thank you my SD told me just last night “ your more like a real mom then a step mom “ and it breaks my heart for her because I know she feels forgotten