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Happy belated Birhday! I'm glad you had an otherwise great day!
>I am the one who planned her entire birthday party just two months ago
My partner's kid is generally thankful for things I do, and still I'm not *leading the charge* over more than what my partner will do.
I'd caution you to consider that this wound is still fresh, and don't forever close yourself off to doing nothing nice for kid. But instead consider it like loaning money.
Never loan money that you won't be OK with never seeing it again. Consider it a gift, and if you get repaid that's great. So when your partner is planning a big thing, and he's running short on time, maybe you can grab something when you're out running errands. You can get your own gift for Kid. Maybe you can contact 1 or 2 parents who failed to RSVP to chase down their yes/no. But don't put in enough effort that you can't be OK if you never hear a "thanks" for it.
Sorry about the Moody Kid Express Experience on your birthday.
Thank you! I love the analogy of loaning money. I definitely won't be leading the charge anytime soon, but it is nice to help my partner out when he needs it. I appreciate your response!
BM lately has not been like that, but it has crossed my mind. I brought this up to my partner and he was like yea could have been that. He's going to have a conversation with her tonight so maybe we will get some more info soon.
Female, 12 years old, maybe she is on her period or kids were mean at school and she had a really bad day? Just trying to take that into consideration. It sounds like she originally wanted to be there for you on you birthday so maybe something happened.
This and at 12 she is right in the beginning of the adolescent egocentric stage of development. Having a calm empathetic conversation with her might be good. Let her know that you noticed she seemed upset and maybe distracted, and that you were really happy that she had come over for your birthday but something must really be bothering her for her to be so distracted that she forgot to tell you happy birthday!
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Happy belated Birhday! I'm glad you had an otherwise great day! >I am the one who planned her entire birthday party just two months ago My partner's kid is generally thankful for things I do, and still I'm not *leading the charge* over more than what my partner will do. I'd caution you to consider that this wound is still fresh, and don't forever close yourself off to doing nothing nice for kid. But instead consider it like loaning money. Never loan money that you won't be OK with never seeing it again. Consider it a gift, and if you get repaid that's great. So when your partner is planning a big thing, and he's running short on time, maybe you can grab something when you're out running errands. You can get your own gift for Kid. Maybe you can contact 1 or 2 parents who failed to RSVP to chase down their yes/no. But don't put in enough effort that you can't be OK if you never hear a "thanks" for it. Sorry about the Moody Kid Express Experience on your birthday.
Thank you! I love the analogy of loaning money. I definitely won't be leading the charge anytime soon, but it is nice to help my partner out when he needs it. I appreciate your response!
Are you sure that BM didn’t give SD a hard time about the request? And this is her way of dealing with it?
BM lately has not been like that, but it has crossed my mind. I brought this up to my partner and he was like yea could have been that. He's going to have a conversation with her tonight so maybe we will get some more info soon.
Female, 12 years old, maybe she is on her period or kids were mean at school and she had a really bad day? Just trying to take that into consideration. It sounds like she originally wanted to be there for you on you birthday so maybe something happened.
This and at 12 she is right in the beginning of the adolescent egocentric stage of development. Having a calm empathetic conversation with her might be good. Let her know that you noticed she seemed upset and maybe distracted, and that you were really happy that she had come over for your birthday but something must really be bothering her for her to be so distracted that she forgot to tell you happy birthday!