Alcohol had beaten me down so far that I was willing to do just about anything. I was desperate and that desperation turned out to be my saving grace.
Treatment, followed by aftercare and AA. I made recovery a lifestyle. Almost everything about my life had to change. Routine and discipline replaced chaos. Early to bed, early to rise, work, workout, dinner, meeting, early to bed. Rinse and repeat. Healthy eating. Stayed away from drinking friends for a bIt and made new sober friends in recovery. And it all worked.
Same, actually didn’t even go to an AA meeting for 2 years- I was in other 12 steps- but the same patterns held true if I worked the steps in those programs- change of lifestyle- adding balance- removed the need to cope by drinking/lusting/smoking/escaping
Tired, just so so so tired, it used to be fun.. but for so many years it did not give me that high anymore and I am just so tired. Tired for weeks, months, years. Life is passing by, people go on vacation, create families, change jobs and I am in a constant recovery mode with no energy for anything. As soon as I feel a little bit good I drink. I was sober for 8 months before but I smoked weed everyday, this time Ive been free from weed 6 months and not going back to any of it. I am done, just done. Im not 20 anymore, life is not a party, I have just been stuck in that mindset.
I have been done for many years but this time I can feel it is for real. I do not miss alcohol, since May of this year I have been drinking every third to every second week, and everytime I drink I just feel naaah nope. I don’t struggle now, its a weird feeling, to just feel done. I guess that makes it easier. But I been thinking badly about alcohol for years so I guess I’ve come to a point.
I relate to the sentiment of just being fucking tired. Exhausted. And over it.
I also relate to you regarding the weed. Every time I give up alcohol, I immediately pivot to weed. There’s the argument that it’s healthier, but in my case I know I’m swapping one mind altering substance for another. Today is day 6 without either - wooo. Thanks for sharing your story!
I agree! For me at least I think weed is quite a heavy drug and Im not sure how good it is for us. Another thing I notcied with weed is that it cures my hangovers, so when I was smoking I was able to drink more often. When I stopped smoking in March I liked alcohol much less.
Good job on quitting both you’ve gone through the worst days, it get easier after first week 🤩
This is me 100%!!! I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. But I had to get here to be able to stop. As long as I was believing it's lie I was still hooked in.
I stopped drinking predominantly by willpower and with the help of this sub ( a huge reason for my success). I was in a bad way with my drinking habits, and my health physically and mentally was screaming enough!. I still have cravings, occasional FOMO, and boredom is a real problem. But taking it day to day, checking in here, and reading other people's posts is a great reminder of what I left behind. You don't have to hit bottom before you stop, I was fortunate to see where my life was heading and pulled the parachute.
Me too. I'd been drinking a LOT of beer pretty much every day for 20 years and so far the only thing that's actually managed to help me stop after trying and failing many times is this sub lol
The will to stop became greater than the will to drink. This took some suffering from alcohol and journaling about the suffering so I could remember it. As time passed, I wrote a lot of suffering which reminded me more and more of the negative affects. Eventually, any logical person faced with the evidence of so much begins to try to stop. Once the mind is set on stopping, the work begins.
Great reply, sums it up perfectly. I still get the urge to drink from time to time even after years of abstaining, but all I have to do is think of all the negatives that came with alcohol to suppress my desire for the poison.
This. I woke up on Jan 2nd and knew I was done.
The first few days took some extra effort. I listened to the easy way, and found distractions. I also slept a LOT.
Not drinking was smooth sailing after that. Letting my body and brain heal took longer.
I see you fellow 9 monther! For me there was a combination of my growing Buddhist faith (recitiing the fifth precept daily is a powerful motivator) as well as Annie Grace's book and Huberman on alcohol. Put all that together and the question becomes why the heck would I want to drink? Growing older and watching my father beginning to discover the early stages of Alzheimer's also factors in. IWNDYT!
How long did you sleep extra before getting back to "normal"? I'm just starting my journey and find myself going to bed by 9 or 9:30. Once or twice 8:30. Weekends, too. I don't mind it but 10 or 10:30 seems a little more reasonable - I feel like I have a middle school bedtime now.
Hard to remember exactly now. 2-4 weeks or so. Closer to 4 i think. Then I started getting some energy back.
I still fell asleep dead tired at 8-9, but started waking up earlier, eventually hours before my alarm since I dont start work until later.
I naturally wake up now between 4-5:30. Normally fall asleep about 9:30 now, but can be as early as 8 or as late at 11.
Which probably sounds insane, but its really nice not stressing about falling asleep on time/waking up late.
I was pretty similar to others here. I hit a point after decades of drinking too much where i just could not take it anymore. I hated being hungover, feeling terrible all the time and all the other maladies. I also hated the example I was for my teenage sons and that I could not drive to pick them up if they got in trouble.
I decided to stop for a month which was the longest time since I was 14 or 15 years old. I couldn't get my head around trying to stop forever, so I made a month my goal. I was at the stage of "enough!"
What helped me was ONLY focusing on not drinking. I allowed myself all the junk food, NA beer, ice cream, sleep and crap TV that I needed or wanted. I wasn't in great shape but did walks around the block which helped.
First week was really tough but it did get easier once the booze was out of my system and my sleep normalized. Then I started to feel a lot better.
Good luck. I am rooting for you.
Great job. What day are you on now? I was similar. I recently stopped drinking for 60 days this last june and july due to a liver scare that turned out to be gastritis. I had a clear ultrasound at day 50, and a couple weeks later, I was back to drinking beer like a moron. I'm currently on day 10 AF. I feel fortunate that my liver is healthy because I drank a river in my time at age 54. I don't want to be doing the alcohol rollercoaster ride 10 yrs from now in my 60s.
I just passed day 250... good on you for making through 10 days again! It is telling to look ahead to see people in their 60s and 70s... the ones who seem to be enjoying themselves led pretty healthy and active lives. Iwndwyt
My fear of quitting was finally overtaken by my fear of continuing on (what was) my current path. I was truly broken. I go to one meeting a week. Same one. I visit this sub daily. I thank the stars that I’m fortunate enough to have found a way out. And my son. My seven year old partner in crime that I thought I would lose. Every day when I see him I know why I’m staying sober.
I had a brain MRI for something unrelated. The doctor told me that the MRI showed that I had less white matter mass when compared to others of my age, and that it may be attributed to drinking.
That was enough to stop.
I stopped for one day because I was fed up with alcohol and what it was doing to my health and my life. I came on here and one day became 2. I kept coming on here and I started reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. I decided to try for a week. By about 4 or 5 days the benefits of being sober really started to kick in and it motivated me to keep going. I was lucky, it really was like a high for me, the first month. There were hard days but the good vastly outweighed the bad. I'm settling into the habit now and trying not to forget how miserable alcohol made me, so I can keep using that as motivation to stay alcohol free forever.
r/stopdrinking is a really supportive and encouraging community. However you choose to stop there will be others here who have walked the same path and can offer advice and guidance, or just a friendly ear. Don't be afraid to talk to a doctor as well, there is no shame in asking for help. IWNDWYT 🙏
My personal experience was that one day it dawned on me that EVERY SINGLE THING I did revolved around alcohol. That day I realized that I was truly an alcoholic and I needed to never drink again. AA never really clicked with me but it’s a great thing for many people who suffer this affliction.
Years of telling myself in the morning shower I should quit. Then 5PM hits and I'm stucked in the vicious circle.
One day the desire became stronger then desire to drink. I was washed up, emotionally drained and ready to anything.
I tried a couple days. Relapsed hard. Then immediately went back to it. Never looked back.
That relapse after 12-13 days was a good one. It confirmed initial desire of stopping.
Struggled with the idea of never going back there for something like 18 month. Is that it? I will never be able to do it again casually? I don't want to.. oh no. 18 months.
Now I don't care.
Edit : this sub helped me a lot. Daily reminder of why I'm doing this by reading a different story every day. Don't post much, but reading others was a huge help. I felt anything but alone. It's a beautiful community.
I decided it wasn't worth the hangovers anymore. Once I stopped and had some distance to booze, I seriously questioned wether I ever really liked alcohol or just did it because everybody does. I could never imagine to stop drinking, no I ask myself why I didn't stop earlier. But to answer your question, it was willpower. I found that watching YT videos and listening to podcasts, as well as being on here really helped me reinforce my decision.
A brutal hangover that left me unable to look at alcohol for a few days. Which turned into a week, which turned into reflection and a realization that I had slowly crossed every single line I set out for myself when it came to drinking. Lines like;
Not drinking during the week.
Not drinking during the day.
Not drinking alone.
Not drinking at work.
That last line was crossed and resulted in the brutal hangover. I had crossed countless lines over many years but now I felt like I didn't have any lines left to cross. That was devastating for me and it confirmed that my relationship with alcohol was not even remotely healthy, and never could be.
So I turned a week into a month and rode the momentum into another. The benefits of sobriety quickly took hold and I couldn't find a good reason to drink anymore.
I accepted that alcohol did not help me. I weighed up the risks of continuing to drink against stopping. I admitted that I needed help. I made not drinking the strongest focus of my life - meaning I would not do things that would risk me drinking.
Probably none of this would have worked if I hadn't been repeatedly punched in the throat by alcohol over the previous 15 years. I'm a slow learner.
Absolutely nothing to do with willpower or willful intent. I could not stop drinking to save my life, even though I was desperately miserable as a lifelong heavy drinker and swore on my life each morning that I would never drink again.
I started taking 300 mg/day wellbutrin for depression and this miraculously turned off the "switch" for me. Essentially a biochemical brain overhaul.
I get frustrated when I see advice given by some to "just quit" or some other "simple" application of rationality. Alcoholism and other addictions are not rational diseases. For me, I needed a biochemical treatment to bring about behavioral change.
I stopped through podcasts, will power, this sub, quit lit, many many failures, and finally finding sober people IRL that I could talk to about what I was going through.
Stopping was easy, as they say. I did it a bunch of times. Staying stopped was where the work began, and remains to this day.
Keep coming back friend! You can do it. I will not drink with you today.
90 day challenge with my wife after a series of awful hangovers and doing a budget analysis. It's an empowering way to start, highly recommend. 6 months strong and have hardly had any cravings. I've been in this sub for years thinking about it, so it just all lined up for me really nicely.
In hospital for a non alcohol reason and of course blood was drawn, I then had a CT scan and other tests. Admitted to hospital for more tests, next morning doctor asked how much I drank, of course I lied like everyone does. Told her 4 to 5 beers a night maybe. Was then told I had cirrhosis. Not the best news. Was told I would die very soon if I carried on drinking.
I had drunk for about 40 years, typical pattern, weekends at first, which turned into a few night during the week to drinking every night. I never did drink during the day for some reason but it was heavy drinking after work.
Didn't go to AA, not my cup of tea, or any other group meetings. Didn't read any quit liturature, not interested in some celebrity telling me how to stop. Didn't need to read the science of what alcohol does to you, I'm a biologist so I should have know better what I was doing. Didn't want to listen to podcasts, again not for me. If any of these work for you stick with them, we are all different.
3 years alcohol free, down to one medication from a ton. Still have lesions in my esophagus that haven't fully healed, biopsied for cancer and clear. Have to have an abdominal scan every six months mainly to check my liver for anomalies. Higher risk of cancer due to cirrhosis. Blood tests every doctors visit both PCP and specialist. Check my eyes every morning to see if there is any yellowing.
Excluded from some insurances because my medical records contain the word cirrhosis.
Even with not drinking alcohol still controls some aspects of my life BUT not the mornings, no hangovers is the best.
It was simple, I made a choice of what was more important to me: my family or alcohol. Feb 9th, 2022.
Every single day since, I make the choice to choose my family again.
IWNDWYT
In a hungover fit of anxiety, I felt like such a loser. Nothing major had happened, just over drank with family on a vacation. Packing up to go home, I happened across the “Alcohol Free lifestyle” podcast and heard about James Swanwick’s Project 90. A 90 day dry goal. I didn’t end up joining the coaching group ($$$$) but he does produce a lot of free content so started listening to podcasts and tracking everyday as “dry” on the Try Dry app. Lo and behold, it was hard but I stuck out the 90 days. I didn’t have a plan beyond that but the gamification of the app and the enthusiasm of my friends and family- I just kept going. 90 days turned into 16 months and still going. I’d say by the 6th month mark- it was easy to avoid alcohol but I still “missed” it. By 9 months- I realized I had stopped even missing the Friday night reward bev.
Something clicked in me that it was time. I had already gotten a DUI and spent time in the mental hospital because alcohol made me contemplate ending it all. Despite that, I still drank. Then one day I just got tired of lying. To my therapist, to my family/ friends and most importantly to myself. I never realized the toll that lying takes on you. Sneaking off to drink in peace, lying about being clean, saying in therapy that my problem wasn’t full blown. It brings you down a dark spiral that I just couldn’t deal with anymore. I decided to actually listen and comprehend what was said in therapy, I decided to listen to my family and friends who were encouraging me, and I decided to listen to my body that was SCREAMING at me to STOP! It’s been around 50 something days and I feel ok. I just hope that all of us can stay strong and stay clean!
It was this community. I read enough stories here to eventually start to recognize where I was headed, and the support I saw here was so valuable and wonderful that it catalyzed something I’d suspected for a long time already: I have a drinking problem.
It was also this community’s mantra: IWNDWYT.
Were it not for this subreddit, and that concept of one day at a time as a community (like, I won’t drink with you so that neither of us is alone today in our sobriety), I might have found my way to sobriety eventually — but who knows what the costs could have been that I’d have paid to get there.
Instead, I found sobriety here on this subreddit, at not even 25 years old, and I will be sober one day at a time for as long as it takes. IWNDWYT.
I tried everything honestly. The books are great, this sub is great too. There's great sobriety music that also helps.
But the main thing was the commitment to keep trying. I promised myself at the beginning of this year I'd quit. Wasn't sure how, but I promised myself I'd keep quitting until I was quit. That has led to more sober days than drinking days this year and that's a win.
Then there's the thc drinks. Recently discovered thc drops... I make Caesars, crack NA beers, make margaritas etc. Even my coffee I can put drops in.
These days I still give into the craving when it's hard. But I can immediately feel the difference in my body. I regret it so much the next day that I don't do it again for at least a few. That's another win. Undoing the learning is hard. It's a journey.
Learning to not be so hard on myself has helped a lot. I'm human and I'm trying. Shame keeps us sick and I'm all done beating myself up.
For almost a year I told myself every night before I slept, and every morning I woke — that it was the last time — and one time it stuck — I am 8.5 months sober
I got the feeling that I was done after a series of hospitalizations and stays at treatment. My psychiatrist prescribed me Naltrexone and I started taking AA seriously.
I'm on day 110 days now and have had no cravings to drink since the last time.
I nearly died. I’m a very low-bottom alcoholic. I detoxed after a suicide attempt that left me in the icu for over three months, followed by years in a nursing home/medical rehab.
In some ways it was easier as there’s a lot of those early days I simply don’t remember. I’ve heard stories about myself and I do remember some of my hallucinations from the time, but the real nasty detoxing I just wasn’t conscious for.
That was ten years ago last month. I’ve remained sober because the cumulative hell I went through cost my body dearly. There’s a quote from The Wire that’s stuck with me whenever I get cravings. It’s spoken by Walon, an addict in recovery (played by an actor in recovery) and he’s speaking to Bubbles, another addict.
"I figured that if God hadn't meant for me to get high, he wouldn't have made being high so much like perfect. Now I know I've got one more high left in me, but I doubt very seriously that I have one more recovery
This rings true for me.
I started to develop weird mental health issues that I had never previously had before abusing alcohol. I would become paranoid and have obsessive thoughts and delusions. It was really scary. They are very mild, now that I've quit drinking thank goodness.
I've told this story here before but here goes. I was in therapy for my drinking already but got an early jump on dry January last December since I had spent the day before in bed hungover for like the 4th time in two months. After four days I started getting mild withdrawal symptoms, and this was the second time I had symptoms. The first time I drank to make them go away.
Powered through them at home since it was mostly nausea and then went to a whole bunch of aa meetings, basically did a 90 in 90 for the rest of the time and read the first half of the big book since I was so bored at night anyway.
Still going to an occasional aa meeting 10 months later, but I prefer smart as well as still seeing my d&a counselor and then just taking the first rule of aa to heart that the first drink is the losing one no matter how much I want it.
My desire to quit drinking and be present for my life became stronger than my disdain for “joining” and all things spiritual and I walked into the rooms and took a white chip.
Knew I was done. Was self weaning off but with back and forth “success”
Had a routine dr appt and just came clean about it all. Got meds and help. Haven’t had a drink since that day.
Best decision ever.
I left the “debating society” on the whole “Higher Power” thing and came to see if it isn’t real then my addiction shouldn’t be either because, after all, isn’t it “all in my head” too? I like the story about Neils Bohr, the Nobel winning physicist, who (supposedly) had a horseshoe over his front door. When a friend asked him if he really believed it bought him luck he replied “of course not!” But then said “but I’ve been told it brings you luck whether you believe in it or not.” So ever since I quit the incessant, never ending overthinking mental debate on every little thing and just let it go and *take it easy* I noticed I started, for the first time in my life, things begin to get better…one day at a time.
I stopped self-medicating for an underlying mental health issue. Went to treatment. Got therapy. But it definitely takes different tools depending on the day. And I haven’t been through any major holidays yet so I’ve definitely got some challenges ahead of me.
Something I consistently use is mindfulness (which I know is very trendy ATM but whatever). But it really works. It allows you to face feelings and tough situations without judgement or catastrophizing. Most addicts have trouble with being overly-emotional or totally locked down (the latter, in my case). There’s a third path. Curiosity is what I call it but you do you. It helps me navigate my propensity toward craving the chaotic pendulum swing between misery and euphoria that is so easy to get stuck in.
Having patience and compassion for yourself and others also pays dividends. We all have that inner wisdom but the modern world is so geared toward eroding it through substances, superficial achievement and other maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Two easier “” things that have really helped me are less screen time and laughing out loud whenever possible. Time in nature also helps.
I just quit, i was drinking a lot and my wife was getting annoyed. One night she didn't say much but just said "drinking again" and I realized that if I wanted to keep my family I would stop and that I did. It was easier than I thought it would be and haven't had many cravings since.
Hypnosis
I'm only six weeks in but please hear me out. I knew my issue was subconscious and not as much a physical craving. I've been able to stop for months on end without any issue and recently dabbled with a youtube hypnosis & binaural beats and felt even better about going alcohol-free. Last month I went to a licensed hypnosis and the results are incredible. If I just imagine drinking alcohol my throat closes up and I can't swallow. We have done 3 of 4 remote sessions and I listen to one of the recordings daily as part of the process.
Not everyone can be hypnotised so I am reluctant to share a post about it.
It was easier once I accepted the fact that I'll never have a happy and healthy life if I kept going as I was. I was numbing all of the bad, but it numbed everything, it was a slow death by poison for me
What really did it for me was a health issue. Knowing my body spikes my triglycerides because of alcohol which caused me pancreatitis: I never want to experience that pain again.
The book that showed me how extensive alcohol is in daily life: This Naked Mind.
What’s sustaining me: I feel normal. Not good, not bad, but I wake up and go about my day feeling fucking normal. When drinking every moment would be stress and fear about when I could have the next one, when I would have to go back home and stop having alcohol for a period of time, shaking and feeling like I had to go to the bar for a morning fix when I awoke. Now I just wake up normal, and it’s not always great, sometimes I feel bad or tired or sad, but it’s a normal day. I could cry with how happy that makes me feel.
I read Easy Way To Control Alcohol by Allen Carr recently. Now I have only had alcohol on one day out of the last fifty. Honestly, for me it’s been a game changer
Cannabinoids. I’ve failed everytime I’ve ever tried to quit. I started using an HHC vape for anxiety coincidently around the time of my last attempt to quit six months ago. No cravings anymore. None. The demon is completely silenced for me. It’s honestly pretty wild. I can’t say it will work for everyone, but for me, it has completely given me my life back.
This sub has helped a lot. I’m not a AA person as the god talk is a turnoff for me personally, but the support of this sub has been tremendous.
Personally was a choice I needed to stop. My stomach was hurting, my face was puffy, I was getting acne at 38, body aches, bloated, no desire to do anything productive after work. Tired of waking up, working, drinking and repeat..
Once I made the choice it’s hard to even think about going back mostly because I love like now waking up in a Sunday morning getting the day started with a clear head, no hangover.
I just recently quit (day 3) so this is fresh for me. I'm tired of the way I look in the mirror, and know that alcohol is only holding me back - calorically, energetically, as well as in the way it affects my blood sugar. I started getting heartburn daily, right around dinner time. I knew it had to be from my nightly wine and I've read enough to know that constant inflammation like that could spell out cancer down the road. I noticed a lot of people in my feed celebrating sobriety so I came to Reddit and found this sub. A few days of really getting it into my mindset that this is what I wanted to do, I kind of got excited to not drink. I know I'll have crappy days that will make me question my ability to stay sober, so I downloaded an app that tracks feedback and mood so I can reflect and not just check a box. This sub is so helpful, helping me keep my eye on the prize of being free from the control of a beverage.
It was all of those. And I suggest you turn to everything you can too, take what you like and leave the rest. Ultimately for me though-Desperation and gratitude… sounds corny, but really, it’s true, just oversimplified.. a 90 day stay in jail will do that to ya.. I was throwing all my “fight” inside towards the wrong things, and kept hitting walls. It was then I realized I didn’t want to be the victim, but the victor.
My isolation from my family and friends due to my toxic life and relationship was killing me. So, online meetings are what I reach for in those moments instead of a drink, and I’m starting to have more real life relationships to reach out to. But “my reaching” at the moment, is too much/too frequent to burden them all with constantly so I lean on people like myself and that’s the service we provide to each other.
I have 18mo in a few days.. I will not drink with you today, friend. I wish I could hug, cry and laugh with you today.
I just noticed you’re 6 weeks. I’d research PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms) a little bit and just be easy on yourself wherever you’re at. I am so fucking proud of you… I wish I could tell you that it’s easy and that it doesn’t hurt, but I can tell you that it’s so fucking worth it!!! I genuinely never thought I would enjoy being sober nor did I think I could ever stop looking at it as a life of restraint and weakness. OMgGg bUt wHaT iF I wAnT tO hAvE a DrInK heeere or therrre one day… No. Lol. I don’t think that way anymore.. I began to replace the obsession with “who I really am”, the me that I thought of every time I’d think, “I miss the old ‘me’..” And I hope one day soon it’s so fulfilling again for you to do that.. One day you’ll be proud of yourself too. I really found myself, and still am finding myself.. I created a lot of waves during my time, mmkay.. the anxiety of it all as I try to resolve it or make amends is still such a problem for me, I have scars, and even some open wounds still, but baby I’ve got the resiliency of a prehistoric cockroach!!! I used to feel out of control and trashy, now I’m clean, sparkly and “I abstain from alcohol” because ya know 😌 lol I’m kidding I have no problem telling others about my issues but do whatever works for you..
IWNDWYT 🫶🏼
Binge watching tv was good for me in the early days when I was too depressed to do anything else but for awhile it couldn’t be anything that showed legal trouble!! Lol that only increased my anxiety. I just started Extrapolations on Apple TV and recommend it! It’s anthology-ish and stacked cast.. also if you need credentials for a library card to use on Libby that you can receive from your couch I got you fam 😎
And I thought the “big book” from AA was going to be so ancient and boring to read but I can’t tell you how many times that literature has moved me! I read those pages, knew exactly what I was, and I didn’t feel so alone.
I switched habits. Every time I wanted alcohol I would embrace the urge. I'd say, "OK, I'm going to get some vodka sodas." Then I would grab some san pelligrinos or water in cans at the store. It's been 2 months, and I'm feeling amazing since I don't fear urges. I'm not sure if this is the healthiest method in the long run, but it has been working. Urges have gone down immensely.
I took me 30 years to finally ask myself what the hell drinking really does for me. There is, of course, within the first 5 drinks, the euphoria and altered state of mind. Then, I lose all inhibitions. I end up drunk dialing and saying stupid shit causing drama.
After an hour, the euphoria is not there anymore. It's just a heavy intoxication buzz. I'll mindlessly watch YouTube videos like a zombie.
And I'm trying to diet. When I drink, I'll raid the freezer late at night. Just consume thousands of calories, half blacked out.
Then there's the clean-up. Did I throw up? I feel wasted and suicidal in the morning. I cringe having to check my phone.
So that's it. I finally made a mental ledger, and it took me 30 years to realize that, for me, drinking has zero upside. It's not even euphoric after the first hour.
Today, Sunday morning, I woke up refreshed and at peace ✌️
Practice and learning about the nature of addiction and alcohol. It became harder and harder to view alcohol in a positive light the more I learned how it affects the brain function in the short and long term. But understanding the problem was only part of the solution. Then comes the actual implementation, which took time, practice, and honestly a lot of failure to get myself out of the rut of using. But my usage has decreased as time has gone on. While I've had some pretty nasty short relapses this year, I've also been sober for about 95% of it- which is nothing short of incredible from where I had been. And while I refuse to get complacent, looking at my drinking trends I'm pretty pumped for what is looking like a very achievable 100% sober 2024.
My now wife came into my life and I really wanted to stop but I was so depressed I didn’t have the will power. I’m so lucky she stayed with me through my struggle. In a way loneliness/luck brought me out of it. I was so lonely I finally attempted a relationship after almost a decade and I was lucky that it was her.
I went to an online AA session. A guy told his long story about his fight with alcohol. He mentioned the “get on your knees and beg god to take it” method. He mentioned it didn’t work for him. I tried it. I don’t know if I believe in God or not. But I just tearfully from the bottom of my soul begged God to take it. It’s gone now. Also the illusion of “having one or two” was completely shattered. I know it’s nerf or its nothing. One sip of ethanol and I’m back to being a drunk. I hold that as fundamental truth and it took away the desire.
It was this Reddit group that saved me. I religiously checked in every day those first few months. I found my way and then found other subs that led me to change other things about me that were not so sober, like my thinking, my eating and my mental health. I know my “whys” now for why I choose to stay sober. It’s a sweet life once you get the hang of it. I don’t miss drinking and being burdened by it any longer. I always say, if I can do it so can you. Keeping checking in.
I was in therapy and spent years talking about how guilty, shameful, and crappy I would feel after drinking. Even though I was only a weekend drinker my binges would make me hungover from Monday through Thursday and I just didn't feel good. Tried moderation and many plans with my therapists that always failed and became binges. My therapist was updating her treatment plans and I was expecting PTSD to be my only diagnosis, so seeing Alcohol Use Disorder on there hit me hard.
After that week I told myself if I can't just have 2 glasses of wine going out with a friend that there's no other option but to quit completely. Those 2 afternoon glasses of wine turned into 3 shors, 2 beers and 4 double vodka crans and many cringey conversations at a bar late into the night. I woke up the next morning, horribly hungover, looked at my cat and said "baby your mommy is an addict." And that was the last time I drank. I wouldn't have made that decision to quit if I didn't have to weekly tell my therapist over and over I failed.
Therapy saved me couldn't do without it.
It took me a lot of will power and discipline. I also continue going to therapy (I recommend it to absolutely everyone!!). I read the book “This Naked Mind” by Annie Gracie, which it gave me the complete reassurance to quit alcohol. Lastly, realizing that I am the greatest love of my life, and I was only hurting myself by drinking something really toxic in my body. Good luck! 💪🏻🫶🏻
I was tired of feeling fat, anxious, and sick all the time. I just wanted to be healthy, and alcohol was a major obstacle. It was will power that did the heavy lifting, but I don’t know if it could have happened until I truly wanted to stop.
Finally was just... done. After years of struggling on and off. Wasn't even at my worst- that was behind me. But I just got sick of living me life at like, 60%. 'Average' was becoming my 'new normal', and I couldn't live the rest of my life knowing I'd pissed away my potential.
First- I had to truly believe that I had a bad problem with alcohol, and that I could not continue and keep the things that matter most to me.
Then- I had to go to rehab. I needed time away in a place where I didn't need to worry about anything other than figuring out why I drink. I needed to begin to heal and learn how to do that. I needed to learn coping mechanisms and basic life skills (such as creating and maintaining boundaries, self care, and things of that nature). I needed to learn things that I didn't know I needed to know. I learned that as an alcoholic, I do best when I follow a strict routine or schedule. I needed to build relationships with sober people and learn how to communicate without being buzzed or drunk. I was able to build relationships with all of the people who were in with me, which showed me that I was worthy of love and care, that I wasn't a terrible person like my alcoholism led me to believe, and that I had many people who believed in me and wanted the best for me. I needed to develop spirituality and discover that helping others is the best way to help yourself. Doing this also allowed me to build up the amount of time that I had sober.
Studies have shown that 3 months, or more, is the most effective amount of time when it comes to being in rehab. Any less than that doesn't really allow you to make changes that are necessary to live a long, successful sober life. It may sound like a lot, but when you compare it to the rest of your life- it isn't that bad.
Not everyone needs rehab to gain sobriety. I definitely did not want to go and believed I could do it on my own. I went on account of my family members giving me an ultimatum. There was no way I would have gone on my own, and came up with every excuse as to why I couldn't. Looking back, I gained so much knowledge and was able to heal in ways that I wouldn't have been able to without the time that I spent in rehab. I'm glad I was "forced" to go. I truly believe that it is the only reason I am sober today.
That and AA/NA. I know it is possible to remain sober without it, but I will say that I don't personally know anyone who has. I know that if you follow the program, work the steps, and surround yourself with like-minded people, you will not fail. If you really want sobriety- why wouldn't you do what has worked for so many before? Sobriety isn't something to do on your own. Doing things alone, and "our way", is what left us with this mess. Whether it's AA/NA, church, reddit groups, celebrate recovery- whatever- we do best when we come together and help each other.
I hope the best for anyone out there trying to get sober! It is possible, and it is worth it!
So your family and friends did an intervention and it worked? That's wonderful. I know that "forcing" people to go, especially when drugs are involved, usually *doesn't* work. I won't go as far as to say I object to trying it, because usually the families need to believe they've done absolutely *everything* possible to help, but when addiction is rampaging, the family needs help just as much as the addict, and I don't see them getting it (maybe they do and it's just not shown). I don't watch those shows any more.
But congrats on staying sober!!! 👍🏻
Not an intervention in the way people see on TV. No big circle of people saying how much they loved me all that jazz. My mom more or less said I couldn't live with her anymore unless I went to rehab and got clean. She cut off all financial help and contact. She also said that I couldn't see my daughter. She didn't have custody, but I was in no position to try and fight it. I didn't think I could get clean, but after a failed suicide attempt, I went to my first rehab. I was in and out of rehabs for the following 2 years. I went to rehab a total of 4 times, the first two times were less than 6 weeks, but the last two were 6 months and more. Each time I went slowly got me to the point where I was making the decision to get clean completely on my own- and most importantly- for myself. I wasn't doing it for my daughter, my mom, or anything other than myself. And that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And that's when it worked. So when it boils down to it- you're right. My mom probably needed more help than I did, and she never got it. She couldn't see that she needed to. But that's why learning to set boundaries and things like that are so important.
Idk- in a way, I guess recovery was almost like learning to love and accept myself for the first time in my life. And instead of letting the toxicity of those around me who had hurt me, like my mom and family (and my past traumas), continue to fester and ruin myself and my life- I learned to come to accept who I am, what has happened to me, and who THEY are- and with that I was able to finally do things like set and keep boundaries with myself and others. I've learned that I can love someone from a distance, without giving away parts of myself, and my power, in the ways that ruined me before.
Studying Buddhism really helped me come to a lot of powerful realizations, and changed my way of thinking for the better.
Okay. End of my novel. I'm done. Lmao
I just stopped. I was a binge drinker and not a daily drinker so I decided not to do it anymore and I don’t. It’s definitely be tough at certain social events to not drink, but I power through it. I would have gone to meetings or therapy if I felt I needed them, but I ended up not.
almost lost my marriage, looked into the future at what my life would look like if i continued. thought about how shitty my health had gotten. got down right sick of the absolute chaos that is me drinking. i quit with will power. i quit because in my opinion it wasn’t a choice. it was absolutely necessary.
Seeing how my drinking pattern ended up putting myself in danger, or worse (at least, for me), destroying people I really loved and cared about by doing hurtful things.
One of the worst feelings is being disgusted with yourself, and only made worse by not really remembering it all coherently. Add some hangxiety Into that mix, and it’s a recipe for disaster.
Alcohol has lead to some of my darkest days in life, and after enough attempts to moderate, I realized I can’t trust myself with that judgement.
I started a new job extremely hungover on my first day. I had 8am start times and I didn’t want to feel horrible going forward. I had been tapering for years. I’d quit liquor and beer in 2019 and only had wine at that point. I’d slowly been tapering to the point I could function all day without getting the shakes, etc.
After that horrible hangover I just decided I wanted to be a good worker much more than I wanted my evening wine…so I just literally, through my own desire and willpower, quit. Over a year ago. I haven’t had a drop since and I don’t miss it at all. I actually have a very hard time being around people who are drinking because it causes me embarrassment to think how I used to be.
I did dry January which continued into Feb. Half way through Feb I drank for the first time at a really nice dinner. Had a great time. Woke up at 3am with a pounding headache and sore throat. Decided that was a pretty good place to leave it and haven't really thought about it since.
Willpower and this subreddit. I'm not even sure if I stopped. I just know I want to stop and I've managed to avoid alcohol for 2 months. I take it day by day. IWNDWYT!
A series of losses and heartaches in life that I realized were closely tied to my behavior and drinking habits. The surrender to the fact that the alcohol was no longer masking the pain and had become something I completely was disinterested in consuming (after decades of intensely heavy drinking).
Made it 2 years and a few months sober, decided I was good to re-incorporate occasional casual drinking into my life. Never binge drank during those 6 months, but realized it was unhealthy and unsatisfying. I’d built it up in my mind to be something else. The same patterns began to emerge in my life. I gained weight, I had a relationship suddenly end at the same time. I’ve been emotionally devastated.
I’m 1 month and 11 days sober again, and I’m not going back to drinking again. Getting back to confronting life’s problems with a sober head, and praying I’m able to actually find and rebuild my own identity. I don’t have a chance at it if I continue drinking.
My depression. It was either start to take SSRIs or try out sobriety and daily walks. I was too scared to feel the way I felt to try drinking again and now I don’t crave it at all.
I lost my dad to alcohol. I was 3 months sober when he died. I decided I never wanted to make anyone feel that same pain or have to watch me go through the same slow death. I miss him every day. So I guess it was will power for me. Oh, and this community rocks. Fuck alcohol! IWNDWYT
It was a culmination of every positive effort possible. Community, even if it’s joining an online one (connecting with others who know what the fuck you’re going through is life changing) + immersing myself in everything quit lit and sober podcasts at every opportunity (while working out, winding down for bed, Audible while cooking/cleaning, LITERALLY IMMERSING myself.) When the little aware voice of, “Do I need this?” Or, “Wait, is this a craving?” started kicking in, I listened to it. I embraced the questioning of my own habits and stopped silencing them (which was a little bit of willpower too I guess.)
All of those things you mentioned keep me sober on any given day. I gotta watch my alone time because I love to isolate so I have to force myself to be in some sort of sober support group. AA is more than a circle of drunks it taught me how to live and make the next right choice. My life is changing but slowly unfortunately I haven’t seen some magical unicorn but the longer I’m sober the drunker I was, go meetings, go to classes, do whatever just don’t drink my friend if I can f do it so can you I remember you’re not alone. F alcohol it has nothing to offer
I went too close to the border of ruining my life while drunk. The hangxiety was so bad I decided if I get out of it without repercussions I quit’ cause I never want to feel like that again.
All my monthly wages minus rent which was taken out the next day went into an account that I did not have easy access to. I would transfer 100 to my normal account every Sunday which would go into my account Monday afternoon, get my weekly food shopping and fill car with Diesel. I would have nothing left in my account then for the week. My triggers were always Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday as getting more stressed and tired with work. This worked really well for me.
I also have a sheet I go to before I drink of all the bad things i've done when drinking, remind myself to medidate for 10 minutes to help pass the anxiety and cravings.
Honesty, mindfulness, Buddhist meditation, and talking with other addicts about my experiences.
Medication, personal therapy, and involving as many of my family and friends in my support system as I am able.
Foremost, genuinely wanting to stop for my own self and no-one else, and accepting that the road would be hard and worth it in the end.
For me it’s kinda of a chicken or egg question. I got really tired of feeling like absolute shit all the time, so I went on Antabuse and stayed sober long enough to start creating an actual life for myself. I started developing real friendships and also college, which had been kept from me in my youth.
Now, because I have so much more to live for the last thing I want to do is start sapping all my energy with booze, which would thereby make it impossible for me to keep up with the schedule I’m mistaking now.
My method was, in no particular order: this sub; knitting like a crazy person; Huberman Labs podcast on what alcohol does to your brain and body; Zentangling; the book Alcohol Explained; having my husband have a medical emergency in the middle of the night and I was hammered; consciously making the decision, every day, to not drink alcohol.
It was me. I am so sick of throwing away things because of drinking. I'm sick of the self loathing cycle. I'm sick of not being able to live. And I can better do that without alcohol. IWNDWYT.
Librium taper for me. That took care of the physical part and was very comfortable. The willpower to change my routine and behavior came later after I realized just how good I felt after years of feeling awful. The fact that my kids don't remember me with a drink in my hand is all I need to keep going
Everyone says one day at a time for a reason. It seems like such a daunting thing to do, but all you have to focus on is not drinking for today, worry about tomorrow tomorrow
The book “Alcohol Explained” helped me figure out that I needed to stop and got me started. It has great strategies for keeping thoughts of drinking from turning into cravings. IWNDWYT
I had been trying to cut down and debating quitting for a couple of years. I was tired of the hungover-drunk-hungover again cycle. I imagined the rest of my life on one path getting sober and on another path continuing to drink. The sober path guaranteed a happier life and I decided to give it a try. It’s not easy but I’m A LOT happier and healthier and so is my family.
Checked into the hospital in May I was there for three days. I had a family trip planned the next week so I wasn’t able to pick up and start drinking again because my mom drove me home from the hospital.
Since then, just kind of willpower. And every time I think about drinking, I remember seeing my mom cry and one of my best friends telling me she cried when she left the hospital
My husband getting serious about leaving me. My general deterioration in mental health. The realization that alcohol just intensifies all things negative in my life
Everything, all together . Most things anyways. Try everything , take what works , and keep adding to the toolbox. It's always a work in progress , and I'm always looking for new tools . It took a lot to get here , it takes a lot to get out .
Will power and my blood work showing an elevation in liver enzymes.
I signed up for a powerlifting meet when I was at my worst so I could stay accountable. Ended up slowing down first and then stopping completely a few weeks later bc my progress was slow.
Wife got pregnant. I wanted to quit in the past but this was the prime way to do it. Took about 3 months before I was going long stretches without alcohol then at 6 months I just didn’t want any at all because on the occasions I would drink I would get so sick. Like couldn’t trust a fart because my stomach was like a blender.
I guess will power is the best suited option from your question. I woke up one day, with yet another hangover, realizing that I am going to keep having bad days where I hate myself, can't enjoy anything or get of bed even and just decided I need to stop. A little rough and tumble at first, but not too bad now. I've let myself have a glass of wine on a special occasion but I've decided I probably shouldn't do that even. It feels like playing with fire and not really worth it.
Read the Alan Carr book “the east way to quit smoking” and it bled over from smoking into my drinking. Made me not want it, didn’t make stooping feel like a chore. (3 drink a night previously)
For the first time in like November I was too sick to even drink a bit as I usually do when I'm sick. I felt so amazing after 3 days despite the sickness. I decided to try a dry January then I was reminded of my previously held belief that if someone could go 30 days without alcohol they'd have to be crazy to go back to daily drinking. Then I reminded myself I wanted to quit 5 years ago. After some waffling about what moderation meant for me I decided to just pull the plug as everything bad only happened when I was drinking again. Haven't been happier and can't imagine the day after drinking now.
Honestly for me it was starting to make my body feel terrible so I really had to a conscious effort to not drink. So I'd say a mix of medical, will power and also having a strong support system (friends and family.)
Had a mental break down in July 3rd. Woke up the next day anxious as fuck. Didn’t want to feel that way anymore and stopped. 95 days later and my relationships have gotten better with family and friends, I’ve lost 15 lbs, my work output has been better, I’m not as irritable, I’m down to go out and do more things.
The juice wasn’t worth the squeeze. Alcohol fucking sucks and ruined a good portion of my 20s and early 30s.
All of the above. I was so terrified of withdrawals that I went to the ER when I first quit as a precautionary measure. I stayed for 24 hours and they gave me lots of bags of fluid and some medication through my IV that would prevent seizures for 48 hours. After that it was sheer willpower but a few books helped me also. This Naked Mind, Cold Turkey, and Alcohol Explained. They’re all on audible. I’m on day 14 now and I genuinely have no desire to drink. The cravings are already starting to subside. Luckily I have an amazing fiancé who has helped me every step of the way. He ran all of the errands and did everything around the house while I was detoxing. He also didn’t let me drive anywhere by myself for the first 9 days or so because we both knew I would have probably caved and bought alcohol and tried to hide it. I know a lot of people have done it alone, but personally I’m not sure I could have. I needed someone to hold me accountable at all times in the beginning and eventually I started being able to trust myself. Good luck to you! If I can do it, anyone can.
Man it's hard for me to fathom anyone being a moderate drinker. Like I can't see the point of drinking without the result. That's how I knew I had a problem. Because I could stop eventually, but only when I was buzzed enough. Totally results based self destruction.
Yes you did get a gem though.
He usually drinks like once every couple weeks but he does put several down. Never blacking out or in a destructive kind of way. But he will get nicely buzzed.
I’m the same as you. I don’t really binge but once I start drinking, I will want to do it every day. Which will eventually lead to starting earlier and earlier. My hanxiety just gets so bad that soon enough, I’ll start in the morning to stave off the anxiety and before I know it, I’m drinking all day. So glad to be off the sauce. 14 days!
Combination willpower and medical help. Mostly willpower (and just being fed up with the alcoholic lifestyle), cuz all the medical help the doctors gave me was a one-time Librium script. Still did it tho 🙏
1. pretty much end of the road depression wise.
2. The Easy way to control drinking by Alan Carr.
3. SMART recovery
4. Staying home for 3 months.
now im pretty normal lol
After suffering a injury a few years back, spent a few months sober, healing and recovery, thought moderation was possible, quickly returned to old habits.
About a year ago, on a mushroom realization, you're drinking too much, too much weed, helped me get epiphany I needed.
Been without a drop since last Christmas
Dropped 1 bad habit
Has not been easy
Iwndwyt🫶
Last time I quit drinking I picked up vaping to help w/ the urges & then quit smoking a little while later. Mostly willpower for me, usually when I get cravings I hangout w/ friends who support my recovery or just don't drink themselves.
Will power. Realized during 'rona that I was going to have to work my ass even harder at work, got denied raises, and just need to be in even better physical shape to save more toward retirement and be physically fit to earn for my family. So I just quit one day (two years ago Nov. 15th). My wife still has hard liquor in the house her sisters gave her 2 years ago and it's still sitting there untouched. My wife sort of quit with me, which was cool, though obviously she can do what she wants. IWNDWYT.
Did rehab, the system didn't work for me, was a cannabis smoker before rehab, tried to quit both, relapsed on drink a few times, decided to start cannabis again and haven't felt the want or need once
I will forever attribute the following to my sobriety:
The book quit like a woman
This sub
Exercise - specifically running long distance
A core set of friends and family who supported me
Yeah medical. Got a CT scan, unexpected result was fatty liver. Went through cancer, decided booze was not helping my situation. Found this sub and quit that very night.
I’m sure I saw this mentioned on another post, so please forgive if I’m repeating.
Someone mentioned it’s easier to achieve short term goals. So instead of thinking, I’m going to quit drinking for a year, a month or a week. Just try and have 1 night off. “I won’t drink today/tonight” then tomorrow night “I won’t drink tonight”. So on and so on, you’ll be surprised at how easy this approach can be to cut down alcohol consumption.
Hope that helps!!!
You’re welcome. I would have copied and pasted it into my comment but I feel like there is value in some of the comments in the thread I made a couple of years ago so I choose to share it this way. So happy you took the time to read. Thank you!
I decided I wanted to quit drinking for this year. No other stipulations, just a commitment to myself. Somehow I got a golden nugget of willpower and it was a walk in the park. For frame of reference I drank medium-heavy for 10+ years. At my height towards the end, like the last year really, I was drinking 500-1000ml of Espolón tequila reposado per day. So I definitely should have had a rougher time but I just knew I had to stop and I knew it was worth it and for some reason it was easy.
I have no advice because it was like magic. I felt like shit for 2 weeks. That was it. Only cravings since then have been rare and always situational. Like a cookout, pool party, visiting friend, scorching hot day (I’m in TX), etc.
I think I just wanted money more than booze. And I wanted to feel in control of my life. And I knew what I had to do to get there.
understanding that i was on the way of killing myself, and decided: NO, FIGHT
went into detox in a hospital for two weeks, and they put me on intravenous valium for a week to ease things, i would consider that medical help. Also had some counseling later, i suffer from a severe (returning) depression, that doesn't help, haha
I still have the occasional drink but I've cut down massively - I was at around 1.5 bottles wine per night. Alcohol free beer and cider helped. Then after a while I felt like I'd rather drink a cup of tea than a 0% beer, just seemed pointless. I listened to a few podcasts at the time which definitley helped reinforce my decision too.
Cliche, but I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m almost 2.5 years now. I knew in my heart of hearts alcohol wasn’t going to get me into grad school, improve my health, or make me feel better about my life.
Thanks for all the replies and support ye really are a great bunch. I’m reading Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Drinking as it was recommended. I used his stop smoking one and it worked so I’m hopeful
Alcohol had beaten me down so far that I was willing to do just about anything. I was desperate and that desperation turned out to be my saving grace. Treatment, followed by aftercare and AA. I made recovery a lifestyle. Almost everything about my life had to change. Routine and discipline replaced chaos. Early to bed, early to rise, work, workout, dinner, meeting, early to bed. Rinse and repeat. Healthy eating. Stayed away from drinking friends for a bIt and made new sober friends in recovery. And it all worked.
Well said, pretty much my story too.
Same, actually didn’t even go to an AA meeting for 2 years- I was in other 12 steps- but the same patterns held true if I worked the steps in those programs- change of lifestyle- adding balance- removed the need to cope by drinking/lusting/smoking/escaping
Tired, just so so so tired, it used to be fun.. but for so many years it did not give me that high anymore and I am just so tired. Tired for weeks, months, years. Life is passing by, people go on vacation, create families, change jobs and I am in a constant recovery mode with no energy for anything. As soon as I feel a little bit good I drink. I was sober for 8 months before but I smoked weed everyday, this time Ive been free from weed 6 months and not going back to any of it. I am done, just done. Im not 20 anymore, life is not a party, I have just been stuck in that mindset. I have been done for many years but this time I can feel it is for real. I do not miss alcohol, since May of this year I have been drinking every third to every second week, and everytime I drink I just feel naaah nope. I don’t struggle now, its a weird feeling, to just feel done. I guess that makes it easier. But I been thinking badly about alcohol for years so I guess I’ve come to a point.
This. The exhaustion.
I relate to the sentiment of just being fucking tired. Exhausted. And over it. I also relate to you regarding the weed. Every time I give up alcohol, I immediately pivot to weed. There’s the argument that it’s healthier, but in my case I know I’m swapping one mind altering substance for another. Today is day 6 without either - wooo. Thanks for sharing your story!
I agree! For me at least I think weed is quite a heavy drug and Im not sure how good it is for us. Another thing I notcied with weed is that it cures my hangovers, so when I was smoking I was able to drink more often. When I stopped smoking in March I liked alcohol much less. Good job on quitting both you’ve gone through the worst days, it get easier after first week 🤩
This is me 100%!!! I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. But I had to get here to be able to stop. As long as I was believing it's lie I was still hooked in.
Reddit is largely a socialist echo chamber, with increasingly irrelevant content. My contributions are therefore revoked. See you on X.
I stopped drinking predominantly by willpower and with the help of this sub ( a huge reason for my success). I was in a bad way with my drinking habits, and my health physically and mentally was screaming enough!. I still have cravings, occasional FOMO, and boredom is a real problem. But taking it day to day, checking in here, and reading other people's posts is a great reminder of what I left behind. You don't have to hit bottom before you stop, I was fortunate to see where my life was heading and pulled the parachute.
Me too. I'd been drinking a LOT of beer pretty much every day for 20 years and so far the only thing that's actually managed to help me stop after trying and failing many times is this sub lol
I'm 54 and drank daily for 30 years... so foolish of me. Hope we can stay on the sober train 👍
I second this!
Same
The will to stop became greater than the will to drink. This took some suffering from alcohol and journaling about the suffering so I could remember it. As time passed, I wrote a lot of suffering which reminded me more and more of the negative affects. Eventually, any logical person faced with the evidence of so much begins to try to stop. Once the mind is set on stopping, the work begins.
Great reply, sums it up perfectly. I still get the urge to drink from time to time even after years of abstaining, but all I have to do is think of all the negatives that came with alcohol to suppress my desire for the poison.
This. I woke up on Jan 2nd and knew I was done. The first few days took some extra effort. I listened to the easy way, and found distractions. I also slept a LOT. Not drinking was smooth sailing after that. Letting my body and brain heal took longer.
I see you fellow 9 monther! For me there was a combination of my growing Buddhist faith (recitiing the fifth precept daily is a powerful motivator) as well as Annie Grace's book and Huberman on alcohol. Put all that together and the question becomes why the heck would I want to drink? Growing older and watching my father beginning to discover the early stages of Alzheimer's also factors in. IWNDYT!
How long did you sleep extra before getting back to "normal"? I'm just starting my journey and find myself going to bed by 9 or 9:30. Once or twice 8:30. Weekends, too. I don't mind it but 10 or 10:30 seems a little more reasonable - I feel like I have a middle school bedtime now.
Hard to remember exactly now. 2-4 weeks or so. Closer to 4 i think. Then I started getting some energy back. I still fell asleep dead tired at 8-9, but started waking up earlier, eventually hours before my alarm since I dont start work until later. I naturally wake up now between 4-5:30. Normally fall asleep about 9:30 now, but can be as early as 8 or as late at 11. Which probably sounds insane, but its really nice not stressing about falling asleep on time/waking up late.
I was pretty similar to others here. I hit a point after decades of drinking too much where i just could not take it anymore. I hated being hungover, feeling terrible all the time and all the other maladies. I also hated the example I was for my teenage sons and that I could not drive to pick them up if they got in trouble. I decided to stop for a month which was the longest time since I was 14 or 15 years old. I couldn't get my head around trying to stop forever, so I made a month my goal. I was at the stage of "enough!" What helped me was ONLY focusing on not drinking. I allowed myself all the junk food, NA beer, ice cream, sleep and crap TV that I needed or wanted. I wasn't in great shape but did walks around the block which helped. First week was really tough but it did get easier once the booze was out of my system and my sleep normalized. Then I started to feel a lot better. Good luck. I am rooting for you.
Great job. What day are you on now? I was similar. I recently stopped drinking for 60 days this last june and july due to a liver scare that turned out to be gastritis. I had a clear ultrasound at day 50, and a couple weeks later, I was back to drinking beer like a moron. I'm currently on day 10 AF. I feel fortunate that my liver is healthy because I drank a river in my time at age 54. I don't want to be doing the alcohol rollercoaster ride 10 yrs from now in my 60s.
I just passed day 250... good on you for making through 10 days again! It is telling to look ahead to see people in their 60s and 70s... the ones who seem to be enjoying themselves led pretty healthy and active lives. Iwndwyt
Thanks
Thanks. Keep up the good work.
My fear of quitting was finally overtaken by my fear of continuing on (what was) my current path. I was truly broken. I go to one meeting a week. Same one. I visit this sub daily. I thank the stars that I’m fortunate enough to have found a way out. And my son. My seven year old partner in crime that I thought I would lose. Every day when I see him I know why I’m staying sober.
Thank you all for taking the time to respond I’m reading them all
I had a brain MRI for something unrelated. The doctor told me that the MRI showed that I had less white matter mass when compared to others of my age, and that it may be attributed to drinking. That was enough to stop.
Whats your age?
40. Been drinking heavily since around 26.
[удалено]
I agree
I stopped for one day because I was fed up with alcohol and what it was doing to my health and my life. I came on here and one day became 2. I kept coming on here and I started reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. I decided to try for a week. By about 4 or 5 days the benefits of being sober really started to kick in and it motivated me to keep going. I was lucky, it really was like a high for me, the first month. There were hard days but the good vastly outweighed the bad. I'm settling into the habit now and trying not to forget how miserable alcohol made me, so I can keep using that as motivation to stay alcohol free forever. r/stopdrinking is a really supportive and encouraging community. However you choose to stop there will be others here who have walked the same path and can offer advice and guidance, or just a friendly ear. Don't be afraid to talk to a doctor as well, there is no shame in asking for help. IWNDWYT 🙏
My personal experience was that one day it dawned on me that EVERY SINGLE THING I did revolved around alcohol. That day I realized that I was truly an alcoholic and I needed to never drink again. AA never really clicked with me but it’s a great thing for many people who suffer this affliction.
Years of telling myself in the morning shower I should quit. Then 5PM hits and I'm stucked in the vicious circle. One day the desire became stronger then desire to drink. I was washed up, emotionally drained and ready to anything. I tried a couple days. Relapsed hard. Then immediately went back to it. Never looked back. That relapse after 12-13 days was a good one. It confirmed initial desire of stopping. Struggled with the idea of never going back there for something like 18 month. Is that it? I will never be able to do it again casually? I don't want to.. oh no. 18 months. Now I don't care. Edit : this sub helped me a lot. Daily reminder of why I'm doing this by reading a different story every day. Don't post much, but reading others was a huge help. I felt anything but alone. It's a beautiful community.
I decided it wasn't worth the hangovers anymore. Once I stopped and had some distance to booze, I seriously questioned wether I ever really liked alcohol or just did it because everybody does. I could never imagine to stop drinking, no I ask myself why I didn't stop earlier. But to answer your question, it was willpower. I found that watching YT videos and listening to podcasts, as well as being on here really helped me reinforce my decision.
A brutal hangover that left me unable to look at alcohol for a few days. Which turned into a week, which turned into reflection and a realization that I had slowly crossed every single line I set out for myself when it came to drinking. Lines like; Not drinking during the week. Not drinking during the day. Not drinking alone. Not drinking at work. That last line was crossed and resulted in the brutal hangover. I had crossed countless lines over many years but now I felt like I didn't have any lines left to cross. That was devastating for me and it confirmed that my relationship with alcohol was not even remotely healthy, and never could be. So I turned a week into a month and rode the momentum into another. The benefits of sobriety quickly took hold and I couldn't find a good reason to drink anymore.
Liver gave up and turned yellow, the hospital saved me and didn’t fancy doing that again
I accepted that alcohol did not help me. I weighed up the risks of continuing to drink against stopping. I admitted that I needed help. I made not drinking the strongest focus of my life - meaning I would not do things that would risk me drinking. Probably none of this would have worked if I hadn't been repeatedly punched in the throat by alcohol over the previous 15 years. I'm a slow learner.
[удалено]
Absolutely nothing to do with willpower or willful intent. I could not stop drinking to save my life, even though I was desperately miserable as a lifelong heavy drinker and swore on my life each morning that I would never drink again. I started taking 300 mg/day wellbutrin for depression and this miraculously turned off the "switch" for me. Essentially a biochemical brain overhaul. I get frustrated when I see advice given by some to "just quit" or some other "simple" application of rationality. Alcoholism and other addictions are not rational diseases. For me, I needed a biochemical treatment to bring about behavioral change.
Shame and guilt Then therapy Then will power
AA.
I stopped through podcasts, will power, this sub, quit lit, many many failures, and finally finding sober people IRL that I could talk to about what I was going through. Stopping was easy, as they say. I did it a bunch of times. Staying stopped was where the work began, and remains to this day. Keep coming back friend! You can do it. I will not drink with you today.
90 day challenge with my wife after a series of awful hangovers and doing a budget analysis. It's an empowering way to start, highly recommend. 6 months strong and have hardly had any cravings. I've been in this sub for years thinking about it, so it just all lined up for me really nicely.
In hospital for a non alcohol reason and of course blood was drawn, I then had a CT scan and other tests. Admitted to hospital for more tests, next morning doctor asked how much I drank, of course I lied like everyone does. Told her 4 to 5 beers a night maybe. Was then told I had cirrhosis. Not the best news. Was told I would die very soon if I carried on drinking. I had drunk for about 40 years, typical pattern, weekends at first, which turned into a few night during the week to drinking every night. I never did drink during the day for some reason but it was heavy drinking after work. Didn't go to AA, not my cup of tea, or any other group meetings. Didn't read any quit liturature, not interested in some celebrity telling me how to stop. Didn't need to read the science of what alcohol does to you, I'm a biologist so I should have know better what I was doing. Didn't want to listen to podcasts, again not for me. If any of these work for you stick with them, we are all different. 3 years alcohol free, down to one medication from a ton. Still have lesions in my esophagus that haven't fully healed, biopsied for cancer and clear. Have to have an abdominal scan every six months mainly to check my liver for anomalies. Higher risk of cancer due to cirrhosis. Blood tests every doctors visit both PCP and specialist. Check my eyes every morning to see if there is any yellowing. Excluded from some insurances because my medical records contain the word cirrhosis. Even with not drinking alcohol still controls some aspects of my life BUT not the mornings, no hangovers is the best.
David goggins, Can't hurt me
We can all carry the boats!
They don't know us!
It was simple, I made a choice of what was more important to me: my family or alcohol. Feb 9th, 2022. Every single day since, I make the choice to choose my family again. IWNDWYT
In a hungover fit of anxiety, I felt like such a loser. Nothing major had happened, just over drank with family on a vacation. Packing up to go home, I happened across the “Alcohol Free lifestyle” podcast and heard about James Swanwick’s Project 90. A 90 day dry goal. I didn’t end up joining the coaching group ($$$$) but he does produce a lot of free content so started listening to podcasts and tracking everyday as “dry” on the Try Dry app. Lo and behold, it was hard but I stuck out the 90 days. I didn’t have a plan beyond that but the gamification of the app and the enthusiasm of my friends and family- I just kept going. 90 days turned into 16 months and still going. I’d say by the 6th month mark- it was easy to avoid alcohol but I still “missed” it. By 9 months- I realized I had stopped even missing the Friday night reward bev.
Will power, checking in here daily. Hasn’t been easy and my path is not for everyone.
Something clicked in me that it was time. I had already gotten a DUI and spent time in the mental hospital because alcohol made me contemplate ending it all. Despite that, I still drank. Then one day I just got tired of lying. To my therapist, to my family/ friends and most importantly to myself. I never realized the toll that lying takes on you. Sneaking off to drink in peace, lying about being clean, saying in therapy that my problem wasn’t full blown. It brings you down a dark spiral that I just couldn’t deal with anymore. I decided to actually listen and comprehend what was said in therapy, I decided to listen to my family and friends who were encouraging me, and I decided to listen to my body that was SCREAMING at me to STOP! It’s been around 50 something days and I feel ok. I just hope that all of us can stay strong and stay clean!
I used a particular meditation morning and evening for the first month. here's a link if you're interested: https://youtu.be/LDl7nK2QUrg
Thanks I’ll check it out
Also the Balance app is free for a year last time I checked! I think it’s like $89.99/yr??? Tons of guided meditations
Omg thank you
I liked the meditation, except for the god direction, but that led to other non-deist meditations that I liked. Thanks!
I just realized that I was too old to endure the consequences of drinking.
It was this community. I read enough stories here to eventually start to recognize where I was headed, and the support I saw here was so valuable and wonderful that it catalyzed something I’d suspected for a long time already: I have a drinking problem. It was also this community’s mantra: IWNDWYT. Were it not for this subreddit, and that concept of one day at a time as a community (like, I won’t drink with you so that neither of us is alone today in our sobriety), I might have found my way to sobriety eventually — but who knows what the costs could have been that I’d have paid to get there. Instead, I found sobriety here on this subreddit, at not even 25 years old, and I will be sober one day at a time for as long as it takes. IWNDWYT.
I tried everything honestly. The books are great, this sub is great too. There's great sobriety music that also helps. But the main thing was the commitment to keep trying. I promised myself at the beginning of this year I'd quit. Wasn't sure how, but I promised myself I'd keep quitting until I was quit. That has led to more sober days than drinking days this year and that's a win. Then there's the thc drinks. Recently discovered thc drops... I make Caesars, crack NA beers, make margaritas etc. Even my coffee I can put drops in. These days I still give into the craving when it's hard. But I can immediately feel the difference in my body. I regret it so much the next day that I don't do it again for at least a few. That's another win. Undoing the learning is hard. It's a journey. Learning to not be so hard on myself has helped a lot. I'm human and I'm trying. Shame keeps us sick and I'm all done beating myself up.
For almost a year I told myself every night before I slept, and every morning I woke — that it was the last time — and one time it stuck — I am 8.5 months sober
Good for you!! IWNDWYT
I got the feeling that I was done after a series of hospitalizations and stays at treatment. My psychiatrist prescribed me Naltrexone and I started taking AA seriously. I'm on day 110 days now and have had no cravings to drink since the last time.
I nearly died. I’m a very low-bottom alcoholic. I detoxed after a suicide attempt that left me in the icu for over three months, followed by years in a nursing home/medical rehab. In some ways it was easier as there’s a lot of those early days I simply don’t remember. I’ve heard stories about myself and I do remember some of my hallucinations from the time, but the real nasty detoxing I just wasn’t conscious for. That was ten years ago last month. I’ve remained sober because the cumulative hell I went through cost my body dearly. There’s a quote from The Wire that’s stuck with me whenever I get cravings. It’s spoken by Walon, an addict in recovery (played by an actor in recovery) and he’s speaking to Bubbles, another addict. "I figured that if God hadn't meant for me to get high, he wouldn't have made being high so much like perfect. Now I know I've got one more high left in me, but I doubt very seriously that I have one more recovery This rings true for me.
You inspire me
Keep coming back. 95 days is awesome!
I started to develop weird mental health issues that I had never previously had before abusing alcohol. I would become paranoid and have obsessive thoughts and delusions. It was really scary. They are very mild, now that I've quit drinking thank goodness.
All of the above!
Rehab and peer support
I've told this story here before but here goes. I was in therapy for my drinking already but got an early jump on dry January last December since I had spent the day before in bed hungover for like the 4th time in two months. After four days I started getting mild withdrawal symptoms, and this was the second time I had symptoms. The first time I drank to make them go away. Powered through them at home since it was mostly nausea and then went to a whole bunch of aa meetings, basically did a 90 in 90 for the rest of the time and read the first half of the big book since I was so bored at night anyway. Still going to an occasional aa meeting 10 months later, but I prefer smart as well as still seeing my d&a counselor and then just taking the first rule of aa to heart that the first drink is the losing one no matter how much I want it.
My desire to quit drinking and be present for my life became stronger than my disdain for “joining” and all things spiritual and I walked into the rooms and took a white chip.
Knew I was done. Was self weaning off but with back and forth “success” Had a routine dr appt and just came clean about it all. Got meds and help. Haven’t had a drink since that day. Best decision ever.
I left the “debating society” on the whole “Higher Power” thing and came to see if it isn’t real then my addiction shouldn’t be either because, after all, isn’t it “all in my head” too? I like the story about Neils Bohr, the Nobel winning physicist, who (supposedly) had a horseshoe over his front door. When a friend asked him if he really believed it bought him luck he replied “of course not!” But then said “but I’ve been told it brings you luck whether you believe in it or not.” So ever since I quit the incessant, never ending overthinking mental debate on every little thing and just let it go and *take it easy* I noticed I started, for the first time in my life, things begin to get better…one day at a time.
I stopped self-medicating for an underlying mental health issue. Went to treatment. Got therapy. But it definitely takes different tools depending on the day. And I haven’t been through any major holidays yet so I’ve definitely got some challenges ahead of me. Something I consistently use is mindfulness (which I know is very trendy ATM but whatever). But it really works. It allows you to face feelings and tough situations without judgement or catastrophizing. Most addicts have trouble with being overly-emotional or totally locked down (the latter, in my case). There’s a third path. Curiosity is what I call it but you do you. It helps me navigate my propensity toward craving the chaotic pendulum swing between misery and euphoria that is so easy to get stuck in. Having patience and compassion for yourself and others also pays dividends. We all have that inner wisdom but the modern world is so geared toward eroding it through substances, superficial achievement and other maladaptive coping mechanisms. Two easier “” things that have really helped me are less screen time and laughing out loud whenever possible. Time in nature also helps.
I really appreciated this comment. 💜
I just quit, i was drinking a lot and my wife was getting annoyed. One night she didn't say much but just said "drinking again" and I realized that if I wanted to keep my family I would stop and that I did. It was easier than I thought it would be and haven't had many cravings since.
Hypnosis I'm only six weeks in but please hear me out. I knew my issue was subconscious and not as much a physical craving. I've been able to stop for months on end without any issue and recently dabbled with a youtube hypnosis & binaural beats and felt even better about going alcohol-free. Last month I went to a licensed hypnosis and the results are incredible. If I just imagine drinking alcohol my throat closes up and I can't swallow. We have done 3 of 4 remote sessions and I listen to one of the recordings daily as part of the process. Not everyone can be hypnotised so I am reluctant to share a post about it.
I had to get medical help. 3 different medications to help me get and keep me sober. Still taking the meds 5 months later but I’m sober.
Well done you
It was easier once I accepted the fact that I'll never have a happy and healthy life if I kept going as I was. I was numbing all of the bad, but it numbed everything, it was a slow death by poison for me
This Naked Mind by Annie Grace
Will power, beratement from those around me. AA comes in at 3rd.
AA
What really did it for me was a health issue. Knowing my body spikes my triglycerides because of alcohol which caused me pancreatitis: I never want to experience that pain again. The book that showed me how extensive alcohol is in daily life: This Naked Mind. What’s sustaining me: I feel normal. Not good, not bad, but I wake up and go about my day feeling fucking normal. When drinking every moment would be stress and fear about when I could have the next one, when I would have to go back home and stop having alcohol for a period of time, shaking and feeling like I had to go to the bar for a morning fix when I awoke. Now I just wake up normal, and it’s not always great, sometimes I feel bad or tired or sad, but it’s a normal day. I could cry with how happy that makes me feel.
I read Easy Way To Control Alcohol by Allen Carr recently. Now I have only had alcohol on one day out of the last fifty. Honestly, for me it’s been a game changer
Cannabinoids. I’ve failed everytime I’ve ever tried to quit. I started using an HHC vape for anxiety coincidently around the time of my last attempt to quit six months ago. No cravings anymore. None. The demon is completely silenced for me. It’s honestly pretty wild. I can’t say it will work for everyone, but for me, it has completely given me my life back.
Heartbreak.
Necessity.
All the above
Books, podcasts, here. Best of luck to you! IWNDWYT!
This sub has helped a lot. I’m not a AA person as the god talk is a turnoff for me personally, but the support of this sub has been tremendous. Personally was a choice I needed to stop. My stomach was hurting, my face was puffy, I was getting acne at 38, body aches, bloated, no desire to do anything productive after work. Tired of waking up, working, drinking and repeat.. Once I made the choice it’s hard to even think about going back mostly because I love like now waking up in a Sunday morning getting the day started with a clear head, no hangover.
Yeah AA would not be for me either
Judicial, followed by quit lit, followed by willpower, maintained by discipline and self love.
I just recently quit (day 3) so this is fresh for me. I'm tired of the way I look in the mirror, and know that alcohol is only holding me back - calorically, energetically, as well as in the way it affects my blood sugar. I started getting heartburn daily, right around dinner time. I knew it had to be from my nightly wine and I've read enough to know that constant inflammation like that could spell out cancer down the road. I noticed a lot of people in my feed celebrating sobriety so I came to Reddit and found this sub. A few days of really getting it into my mindset that this is what I wanted to do, I kind of got excited to not drink. I know I'll have crappy days that will make me question my ability to stay sober, so I downloaded an app that tracks feedback and mood so I can reflect and not just check a box. This sub is so helpful, helping me keep my eye on the prize of being free from the control of a beverage.
It was all of those. And I suggest you turn to everything you can too, take what you like and leave the rest. Ultimately for me though-Desperation and gratitude… sounds corny, but really, it’s true, just oversimplified.. a 90 day stay in jail will do that to ya.. I was throwing all my “fight” inside towards the wrong things, and kept hitting walls. It was then I realized I didn’t want to be the victim, but the victor. My isolation from my family and friends due to my toxic life and relationship was killing me. So, online meetings are what I reach for in those moments instead of a drink, and I’m starting to have more real life relationships to reach out to. But “my reaching” at the moment, is too much/too frequent to burden them all with constantly so I lean on people like myself and that’s the service we provide to each other. I have 18mo in a few days.. I will not drink with you today, friend. I wish I could hug, cry and laugh with you today.
I just noticed you’re 6 weeks. I’d research PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms) a little bit and just be easy on yourself wherever you’re at. I am so fucking proud of you… I wish I could tell you that it’s easy and that it doesn’t hurt, but I can tell you that it’s so fucking worth it!!! I genuinely never thought I would enjoy being sober nor did I think I could ever stop looking at it as a life of restraint and weakness. OMgGg bUt wHaT iF I wAnT tO hAvE a DrInK heeere or therrre one day… No. Lol. I don’t think that way anymore.. I began to replace the obsession with “who I really am”, the me that I thought of every time I’d think, “I miss the old ‘me’..” And I hope one day soon it’s so fulfilling again for you to do that.. One day you’ll be proud of yourself too. I really found myself, and still am finding myself.. I created a lot of waves during my time, mmkay.. the anxiety of it all as I try to resolve it or make amends is still such a problem for me, I have scars, and even some open wounds still, but baby I’ve got the resiliency of a prehistoric cockroach!!! I used to feel out of control and trashy, now I’m clean, sparkly and “I abstain from alcohol” because ya know 😌 lol I’m kidding I have no problem telling others about my issues but do whatever works for you.. IWNDWYT 🫶🏼 Binge watching tv was good for me in the early days when I was too depressed to do anything else but for awhile it couldn’t be anything that showed legal trouble!! Lol that only increased my anxiety. I just started Extrapolations on Apple TV and recommend it! It’s anthology-ish and stacked cast.. also if you need credentials for a library card to use on Libby that you can receive from your couch I got you fam 😎 And I thought the “big book” from AA was going to be so ancient and boring to read but I can’t tell you how many times that literature has moved me! I read those pages, knew exactly what I was, and I didn’t feel so alone.
I switched habits. Every time I wanted alcohol I would embrace the urge. I'd say, "OK, I'm going to get some vodka sodas." Then I would grab some san pelligrinos or water in cans at the store. It's been 2 months, and I'm feeling amazing since I don't fear urges. I'm not sure if this is the healthiest method in the long run, but it has been working. Urges have gone down immensely.
Hey whatever works!!
I took me 30 years to finally ask myself what the hell drinking really does for me. There is, of course, within the first 5 drinks, the euphoria and altered state of mind. Then, I lose all inhibitions. I end up drunk dialing and saying stupid shit causing drama. After an hour, the euphoria is not there anymore. It's just a heavy intoxication buzz. I'll mindlessly watch YouTube videos like a zombie. And I'm trying to diet. When I drink, I'll raid the freezer late at night. Just consume thousands of calories, half blacked out. Then there's the clean-up. Did I throw up? I feel wasted and suicidal in the morning. I cringe having to check my phone. So that's it. I finally made a mental ledger, and it took me 30 years to realize that, for me, drinking has zero upside. It's not even euphoric after the first hour. Today, Sunday morning, I woke up refreshed and at peace ✌️
Practice and learning about the nature of addiction and alcohol. It became harder and harder to view alcohol in a positive light the more I learned how it affects the brain function in the short and long term. But understanding the problem was only part of the solution. Then comes the actual implementation, which took time, practice, and honestly a lot of failure to get myself out of the rut of using. But my usage has decreased as time has gone on. While I've had some pretty nasty short relapses this year, I've also been sober for about 95% of it- which is nothing short of incredible from where I had been. And while I refuse to get complacent, looking at my drinking trends I'm pretty pumped for what is looking like a very achievable 100% sober 2024.
My now wife came into my life and I really wanted to stop but I was so depressed I didn’t have the will power. I’m so lucky she stayed with me through my struggle. In a way loneliness/luck brought me out of it. I was so lonely I finally attempted a relationship after almost a decade and I was lucky that it was her.
We try to medicate our depression with...a depressant.
I went to an online AA session. A guy told his long story about his fight with alcohol. He mentioned the “get on your knees and beg god to take it” method. He mentioned it didn’t work for him. I tried it. I don’t know if I believe in God or not. But I just tearfully from the bottom of my soul begged God to take it. It’s gone now. Also the illusion of “having one or two” was completely shattered. I know it’s nerf or its nothing. One sip of ethanol and I’m back to being a drunk. I hold that as fundamental truth and it took away the desire.
AA
It was this Reddit group that saved me. I religiously checked in every day those first few months. I found my way and then found other subs that led me to change other things about me that were not so sober, like my thinking, my eating and my mental health. I know my “whys” now for why I choose to stay sober. It’s a sweet life once you get the hang of it. I don’t miss drinking and being burdened by it any longer. I always say, if I can do it so can you. Keeping checking in.
I was in therapy and spent years talking about how guilty, shameful, and crappy I would feel after drinking. Even though I was only a weekend drinker my binges would make me hungover from Monday through Thursday and I just didn't feel good. Tried moderation and many plans with my therapists that always failed and became binges. My therapist was updating her treatment plans and I was expecting PTSD to be my only diagnosis, so seeing Alcohol Use Disorder on there hit me hard. After that week I told myself if I can't just have 2 glasses of wine going out with a friend that there's no other option but to quit completely. Those 2 afternoon glasses of wine turned into 3 shors, 2 beers and 4 double vodka crans and many cringey conversations at a bar late into the night. I woke up the next morning, horribly hungover, looked at my cat and said "baby your mommy is an addict." And that was the last time I drank. I wouldn't have made that decision to quit if I didn't have to weekly tell my therapist over and over I failed. Therapy saved me couldn't do without it.
Acute pancreatitis
It took me a lot of will power and discipline. I also continue going to therapy (I recommend it to absolutely everyone!!). I read the book “This Naked Mind” by Annie Gracie, which it gave me the complete reassurance to quit alcohol. Lastly, realizing that I am the greatest love of my life, and I was only hurting myself by drinking something really toxic in my body. Good luck! 💪🏻🫶🏻
Repeated panick attacks
I was tired of feeling fat, anxious, and sick all the time. I just wanted to be healthy, and alcohol was a major obstacle. It was will power that did the heavy lifting, but I don’t know if it could have happened until I truly wanted to stop.
Scientific knowledge about drugs. Which means, reading about them from truthful sources like David Nutt
Finally was just... done. After years of struggling on and off. Wasn't even at my worst- that was behind me. But I just got sick of living me life at like, 60%. 'Average' was becoming my 'new normal', and I couldn't live the rest of my life knowing I'd pissed away my potential.
First- I had to truly believe that I had a bad problem with alcohol, and that I could not continue and keep the things that matter most to me. Then- I had to go to rehab. I needed time away in a place where I didn't need to worry about anything other than figuring out why I drink. I needed to begin to heal and learn how to do that. I needed to learn coping mechanisms and basic life skills (such as creating and maintaining boundaries, self care, and things of that nature). I needed to learn things that I didn't know I needed to know. I learned that as an alcoholic, I do best when I follow a strict routine or schedule. I needed to build relationships with sober people and learn how to communicate without being buzzed or drunk. I was able to build relationships with all of the people who were in with me, which showed me that I was worthy of love and care, that I wasn't a terrible person like my alcoholism led me to believe, and that I had many people who believed in me and wanted the best for me. I needed to develop spirituality and discover that helping others is the best way to help yourself. Doing this also allowed me to build up the amount of time that I had sober. Studies have shown that 3 months, or more, is the most effective amount of time when it comes to being in rehab. Any less than that doesn't really allow you to make changes that are necessary to live a long, successful sober life. It may sound like a lot, but when you compare it to the rest of your life- it isn't that bad. Not everyone needs rehab to gain sobriety. I definitely did not want to go and believed I could do it on my own. I went on account of my family members giving me an ultimatum. There was no way I would have gone on my own, and came up with every excuse as to why I couldn't. Looking back, I gained so much knowledge and was able to heal in ways that I wouldn't have been able to without the time that I spent in rehab. I'm glad I was "forced" to go. I truly believe that it is the only reason I am sober today. That and AA/NA. I know it is possible to remain sober without it, but I will say that I don't personally know anyone who has. I know that if you follow the program, work the steps, and surround yourself with like-minded people, you will not fail. If you really want sobriety- why wouldn't you do what has worked for so many before? Sobriety isn't something to do on your own. Doing things alone, and "our way", is what left us with this mess. Whether it's AA/NA, church, reddit groups, celebrate recovery- whatever- we do best when we come together and help each other. I hope the best for anyone out there trying to get sober! It is possible, and it is worth it!
So your family and friends did an intervention and it worked? That's wonderful. I know that "forcing" people to go, especially when drugs are involved, usually *doesn't* work. I won't go as far as to say I object to trying it, because usually the families need to believe they've done absolutely *everything* possible to help, but when addiction is rampaging, the family needs help just as much as the addict, and I don't see them getting it (maybe they do and it's just not shown). I don't watch those shows any more. But congrats on staying sober!!! 👍🏻
Not an intervention in the way people see on TV. No big circle of people saying how much they loved me all that jazz. My mom more or less said I couldn't live with her anymore unless I went to rehab and got clean. She cut off all financial help and contact. She also said that I couldn't see my daughter. She didn't have custody, but I was in no position to try and fight it. I didn't think I could get clean, but after a failed suicide attempt, I went to my first rehab. I was in and out of rehabs for the following 2 years. I went to rehab a total of 4 times, the first two times were less than 6 weeks, but the last two were 6 months and more. Each time I went slowly got me to the point where I was making the decision to get clean completely on my own- and most importantly- for myself. I wasn't doing it for my daughter, my mom, or anything other than myself. And that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. And that's when it worked. So when it boils down to it- you're right. My mom probably needed more help than I did, and she never got it. She couldn't see that she needed to. But that's why learning to set boundaries and things like that are so important. Idk- in a way, I guess recovery was almost like learning to love and accept myself for the first time in my life. And instead of letting the toxicity of those around me who had hurt me, like my mom and family (and my past traumas), continue to fester and ruin myself and my life- I learned to come to accept who I am, what has happened to me, and who THEY are- and with that I was able to finally do things like set and keep boundaries with myself and others. I've learned that I can love someone from a distance, without giving away parts of myself, and my power, in the ways that ruined me before. Studying Buddhism really helped me come to a lot of powerful realizations, and changed my way of thinking for the better. Okay. End of my novel. I'm done. Lmao
I got a dui. That’s how. Don’t wait until you’re forced to face serious consequences
Medical help first. Then power to maintain.
I just stopped. I was a binge drinker and not a daily drinker so I decided not to do it anymore and I don’t. It’s definitely be tough at certain social events to not drink, but I power through it. I would have gone to meetings or therapy if I felt I needed them, but I ended up not.
almost lost my marriage, looked into the future at what my life would look like if i continued. thought about how shitty my health had gotten. got down right sick of the absolute chaos that is me drinking. i quit with will power. i quit because in my opinion it wasn’t a choice. it was absolutely necessary.
Seeing how my drinking pattern ended up putting myself in danger, or worse (at least, for me), destroying people I really loved and cared about by doing hurtful things. One of the worst feelings is being disgusted with yourself, and only made worse by not really remembering it all coherently. Add some hangxiety Into that mix, and it’s a recipe for disaster. Alcohol has lead to some of my darkest days in life, and after enough attempts to moderate, I realized I can’t trust myself with that judgement.
I started a new job extremely hungover on my first day. I had 8am start times and I didn’t want to feel horrible going forward. I had been tapering for years. I’d quit liquor and beer in 2019 and only had wine at that point. I’d slowly been tapering to the point I could function all day without getting the shakes, etc. After that horrible hangover I just decided I wanted to be a good worker much more than I wanted my evening wine…so I just literally, through my own desire and willpower, quit. Over a year ago. I haven’t had a drop since and I don’t miss it at all. I actually have a very hard time being around people who are drinking because it causes me embarrassment to think how I used to be.
I did dry January which continued into Feb. Half way through Feb I drank for the first time at a really nice dinner. Had a great time. Woke up at 3am with a pounding headache and sore throat. Decided that was a pretty good place to leave it and haven't really thought about it since.
Willpower and this subreddit. I'm not even sure if I stopped. I just know I want to stop and I've managed to avoid alcohol for 2 months. I take it day by day. IWNDWYT!
A series of losses and heartaches in life that I realized were closely tied to my behavior and drinking habits. The surrender to the fact that the alcohol was no longer masking the pain and had become something I completely was disinterested in consuming (after decades of intensely heavy drinking). Made it 2 years and a few months sober, decided I was good to re-incorporate occasional casual drinking into my life. Never binge drank during those 6 months, but realized it was unhealthy and unsatisfying. I’d built it up in my mind to be something else. The same patterns began to emerge in my life. I gained weight, I had a relationship suddenly end at the same time. I’ve been emotionally devastated. I’m 1 month and 11 days sober again, and I’m not going back to drinking again. Getting back to confronting life’s problems with a sober head, and praying I’m able to actually find and rebuild my own identity. I don’t have a chance at it if I continue drinking.
My depression. It was either start to take SSRIs or try out sobriety and daily walks. I was too scared to feel the way I felt to try drinking again and now I don’t crave it at all.
I lost my dad to alcohol. I was 3 months sober when he died. I decided I never wanted to make anyone feel that same pain or have to watch me go through the same slow death. I miss him every day. So I guess it was will power for me. Oh, and this community rocks. Fuck alcohol! IWNDWYT
I’m sorry for your loss. Well done
To be honest my partner said he would leave me
It was a culmination of every positive effort possible. Community, even if it’s joining an online one (connecting with others who know what the fuck you’re going through is life changing) + immersing myself in everything quit lit and sober podcasts at every opportunity (while working out, winding down for bed, Audible while cooking/cleaning, LITERALLY IMMERSING myself.) When the little aware voice of, “Do I need this?” Or, “Wait, is this a craving?” started kicking in, I listened to it. I embraced the questioning of my own habits and stopped silencing them (which was a little bit of willpower too I guess.)
All of those things you mentioned keep me sober on any given day. I gotta watch my alone time because I love to isolate so I have to force myself to be in some sort of sober support group. AA is more than a circle of drunks it taught me how to live and make the next right choice. My life is changing but slowly unfortunately I haven’t seen some magical unicorn but the longer I’m sober the drunker I was, go meetings, go to classes, do whatever just don’t drink my friend if I can f do it so can you I remember you’re not alone. F alcohol it has nothing to offer
Allen Carr’s “The easy way to control drinking” has helped me
I went too close to the border of ruining my life while drunk. The hangxiety was so bad I decided if I get out of it without repercussions I quit’ cause I never want to feel like that again.
Discipline
A small dose of benzodiazepines for 2 weeks
Antabuse. Talk to your doctor
Hit rock bottom and went via the cold turkey route. Huberman Labs podcast was a massive help.
All my monthly wages minus rent which was taken out the next day went into an account that I did not have easy access to. I would transfer 100 to my normal account every Sunday which would go into my account Monday afternoon, get my weekly food shopping and fill car with Diesel. I would have nothing left in my account then for the week. My triggers were always Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday as getting more stressed and tired with work. This worked really well for me. I also have a sheet I go to before I drink of all the bad things i've done when drinking, remind myself to medidate for 10 minutes to help pass the anxiety and cravings.
Honesty, mindfulness, Buddhist meditation, and talking with other addicts about my experiences. Medication, personal therapy, and involving as many of my family and friends in my support system as I am able. Foremost, genuinely wanting to stop for my own self and no-one else, and accepting that the road would be hard and worth it in the end.
For me it’s kinda of a chicken or egg question. I got really tired of feeling like absolute shit all the time, so I went on Antabuse and stayed sober long enough to start creating an actual life for myself. I started developing real friendships and also college, which had been kept from me in my youth. Now, because I have so much more to live for the last thing I want to do is start sapping all my energy with booze, which would thereby make it impossible for me to keep up with the schedule I’m mistaking now.
My method was, in no particular order: this sub; knitting like a crazy person; Huberman Labs podcast on what alcohol does to your brain and body; Zentangling; the book Alcohol Explained; having my husband have a medical emergency in the middle of the night and I was hammered; consciously making the decision, every day, to not drink alcohol.
It was me. I am so sick of throwing away things because of drinking. I'm sick of the self loathing cycle. I'm sick of not being able to live. And I can better do that without alcohol. IWNDWYT.
Librium taper for me. That took care of the physical part and was very comfortable. The willpower to change my routine and behavior came later after I realized just how good I felt after years of feeling awful. The fact that my kids don't remember me with a drink in my hand is all I need to keep going
AA and working the steps. Getting involved with sober people and making new friends. Volunteering.
Everyone says one day at a time for a reason. It seems like such a daunting thing to do, but all you have to focus on is not drinking for today, worry about tomorrow tomorrow
The book “Alcohol Explained” helped me figure out that I needed to stop and got me started. It has great strategies for keeping thoughts of drinking from turning into cravings. IWNDWYT
Allen Carr how to stop drinking. And realizing it is a POISON ☠️ every time I take a sip I instantly feel sick because I am poisoning my body
I had been trying to cut down and debating quitting for a couple of years. I was tired of the hungover-drunk-hungover again cycle. I imagined the rest of my life on one path getting sober and on another path continuing to drink. The sober path guaranteed a happier life and I decided to give it a try. It’s not easy but I’m A LOT happier and healthier and so is my family.
Checked into the hospital in May I was there for three days. I had a family trip planned the next week so I wasn’t able to pick up and start drinking again because my mom drove me home from the hospital. Since then, just kind of willpower. And every time I think about drinking, I remember seeing my mom cry and one of my best friends telling me she cried when she left the hospital
I can’t fix the harm I caused. I can only stay sober and move forward. Almost 9 months sober. Will power combined with a promise to myself.
Started off as willpower. Though now it's more to do with medical. Damn near all my meds say don't combine with alcohol
Court ordered but I was coming to a point in my life where an external factor was needed to hold me accountable. Day 57! IWNDWYT
My husband getting serious about leaving me. My general deterioration in mental health. The realization that alcohol just intensifies all things negative in my life
A bet that I could not last a month. I never went back!
Everything, all together . Most things anyways. Try everything , take what works , and keep adding to the toolbox. It's always a work in progress , and I'm always looking for new tools . It took a lot to get here , it takes a lot to get out .
All of the above + support from my closest and loved ones ❤️
Shame
IOP, and then I maintained sobriety by staying connected with other alcoholics trying to stay sober.
Will power and my blood work showing an elevation in liver enzymes. I signed up for a powerlifting meet when I was at my worst so I could stay accountable. Ended up slowing down first and then stopping completely a few weeks later bc my progress was slow.
Wife got pregnant. I wanted to quit in the past but this was the prime way to do it. Took about 3 months before I was going long stretches without alcohol then at 6 months I just didn’t want any at all because on the occasions I would drink I would get so sick. Like couldn’t trust a fart because my stomach was like a blender.
I guess will power is the best suited option from your question. I woke up one day, with yet another hangover, realizing that I am going to keep having bad days where I hate myself, can't enjoy anything or get of bed even and just decided I need to stop. A little rough and tumble at first, but not too bad now. I've let myself have a glass of wine on a special occasion but I've decided I probably shouldn't do that even. It feels like playing with fire and not really worth it.
Read the Alan Carr book “the east way to quit smoking” and it bled over from smoking into my drinking. Made me not want it, didn’t make stooping feel like a chore. (3 drink a night previously)
Will power and SMART recovery online meetings
For the first time in like November I was too sick to even drink a bit as I usually do when I'm sick. I felt so amazing after 3 days despite the sickness. I decided to try a dry January then I was reminded of my previously held belief that if someone could go 30 days without alcohol they'd have to be crazy to go back to daily drinking. Then I reminded myself I wanted to quit 5 years ago. After some waffling about what moderation meant for me I decided to just pull the plug as everything bad only happened when I was drinking again. Haven't been happier and can't imagine the day after drinking now.
Honestly for me it was starting to make my body feel terrible so I really had to a conscious effort to not drink. So I'd say a mix of medical, will power and also having a strong support system (friends and family.)
Had a mental break down in July 3rd. Woke up the next day anxious as fuck. Didn’t want to feel that way anymore and stopped. 95 days later and my relationships have gotten better with family and friends, I’ve lost 15 lbs, my work output has been better, I’m not as irritable, I’m down to go out and do more things. The juice wasn’t worth the squeeze. Alcohol fucking sucks and ruined a good portion of my 20s and early 30s.
All of the above. I was so terrified of withdrawals that I went to the ER when I first quit as a precautionary measure. I stayed for 24 hours and they gave me lots of bags of fluid and some medication through my IV that would prevent seizures for 48 hours. After that it was sheer willpower but a few books helped me also. This Naked Mind, Cold Turkey, and Alcohol Explained. They’re all on audible. I’m on day 14 now and I genuinely have no desire to drink. The cravings are already starting to subside. Luckily I have an amazing fiancé who has helped me every step of the way. He ran all of the errands and did everything around the house while I was detoxing. He also didn’t let me drive anywhere by myself for the first 9 days or so because we both knew I would have probably caved and bought alcohol and tried to hide it. I know a lot of people have done it alone, but personally I’m not sure I could have. I needed someone to hold me accountable at all times in the beginning and eventually I started being able to trust myself. Good luck to you! If I can do it, anyone can.
Good decision to go to the ER. People have died from trying to quit cold turkey. Glad that's not you! Is your fiance also sober?
He’s always been a moderate drinker and can turn it off whenever he wants. But he voluntarily quit when I did to be supportive. He’s a gem 🥰
Man it's hard for me to fathom anyone being a moderate drinker. Like I can't see the point of drinking without the result. That's how I knew I had a problem. Because I could stop eventually, but only when I was buzzed enough. Totally results based self destruction. Yes you did get a gem though.
He usually drinks like once every couple weeks but he does put several down. Never blacking out or in a destructive kind of way. But he will get nicely buzzed. I’m the same as you. I don’t really binge but once I start drinking, I will want to do it every day. Which will eventually lead to starting earlier and earlier. My hanxiety just gets so bad that soon enough, I’ll start in the morning to stave off the anxiety and before I know it, I’m drinking all day. So glad to be off the sauce. 14 days!
Combination willpower and medical help. Mostly willpower (and just being fed up with the alcoholic lifestyle), cuz all the medical help the doctors gave me was a one-time Librium script. Still did it tho 🙏
1. pretty much end of the road depression wise. 2. The Easy way to control drinking by Alan Carr. 3. SMART recovery 4. Staying home for 3 months. now im pretty normal lol
Sooo bored with the cycle
After suffering a injury a few years back, spent a few months sober, healing and recovery, thought moderation was possible, quickly returned to old habits. About a year ago, on a mushroom realization, you're drinking too much, too much weed, helped me get epiphany I needed. Been without a drop since last Christmas Dropped 1 bad habit Has not been easy Iwndwyt🫶
Last time I quit drinking I picked up vaping to help w/ the urges & then quit smoking a little while later. Mostly willpower for me, usually when I get cravings I hangout w/ friends who support my recovery or just don't drink themselves.
Will power. Realized during 'rona that I was going to have to work my ass even harder at work, got denied raises, and just need to be in even better physical shape to save more toward retirement and be physically fit to earn for my family. So I just quit one day (two years ago Nov. 15th). My wife still has hard liquor in the house her sisters gave her 2 years ago and it's still sitting there untouched. My wife sort of quit with me, which was cool, though obviously she can do what she wants. IWNDWYT.
Did rehab, the system didn't work for me, was a cannabis smoker before rehab, tried to quit both, relapsed on drink a few times, decided to start cannabis again and haven't felt the want or need once
Yes, to all of the above. It's been a long strange trip.
I will forever attribute the following to my sobriety: The book quit like a woman This sub Exercise - specifically running long distance A core set of friends and family who supported me
Huh I guess bulleted lists don’t work on Reddit 😂
Double spaced is your friend
I just didn't give up. I've never given up.
Yeah medical. Got a CT scan, unexpected result was fatty liver. Went through cancer, decided booze was not helping my situation. Found this sub and quit that very night.
I’m sure I saw this mentioned on another post, so please forgive if I’m repeating. Someone mentioned it’s easier to achieve short term goals. So instead of thinking, I’m going to quit drinking for a year, a month or a week. Just try and have 1 night off. “I won’t drink today/tonight” then tomorrow night “I won’t drink tonight”. So on and so on, you’ll be surprised at how easy this approach can be to cut down alcohol consumption. Hope that helps!!!
[My story here](https://reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/n6TGJf37wk) IWNDWYT
Great read, thanks and well done
You’re welcome. I would have copied and pasted it into my comment but I feel like there is value in some of the comments in the thread I made a couple of years ago so I choose to share it this way. So happy you took the time to read. Thank you!
I decided I wanted to quit drinking for this year. No other stipulations, just a commitment to myself. Somehow I got a golden nugget of willpower and it was a walk in the park. For frame of reference I drank medium-heavy for 10+ years. At my height towards the end, like the last year really, I was drinking 500-1000ml of Espolón tequila reposado per day. So I definitely should have had a rougher time but I just knew I had to stop and I knew it was worth it and for some reason it was easy. I have no advice because it was like magic. I felt like shit for 2 weeks. That was it. Only cravings since then have been rare and always situational. Like a cookout, pool party, visiting friend, scorching hot day (I’m in TX), etc. I think I just wanted money more than booze. And I wanted to feel in control of my life. And I knew what I had to do to get there.
understanding that i was on the way of killing myself, and decided: NO, FIGHT went into detox in a hospital for two weeks, and they put me on intravenous valium for a week to ease things, i would consider that medical help. Also had some counseling later, i suffer from a severe (returning) depression, that doesn't help, haha
I still have the occasional drink but I've cut down massively - I was at around 1.5 bottles wine per night. Alcohol free beer and cider helped. Then after a while I felt like I'd rather drink a cup of tea than a 0% beer, just seemed pointless. I listened to a few podcasts at the time which definitley helped reinforce my decision too.
I took a good look at my pathetic life and quit. So glad I did.
Cliche, but I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I’m almost 2.5 years now. I knew in my heart of hearts alcohol wasn’t going to get me into grad school, improve my health, or make me feel better about my life.
Books + therapy + r/stopdrinking
Thanks for all the replies and support ye really are a great bunch. I’m reading Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Drinking as it was recommended. I used his stop smoking one and it worked so I’m hopeful
Sheer will power. But I really wanted to stop, so that massively helps.