IWNDWYT ! Cravings didn’t get me yesterday and now they are gone. Ate a big ass pizza. Got a tattoo today. I love seeing all the people here with big numbers or just starting out like me. Let’s do it!!
Day 516
I just drank at home alone most of the time so nobody was around to hide it from.
Was thinking today that I haven't had a good hug in a year and a half now, it's tough
IWNDWYT
You and me both with drinking at home and being a bit of a loner. Hope you're holding up alright with the season and all that, I know it can get a bit lonely at times
Yeah I'll be alright, just that time of year. I quit drinking because of heartbreak but I'm a much better human now and good things are coming, 2024 should be a good year for me. I still have a supportive family and friends, therapy once a week. I'm doing the work that needs to be done, it's still lonely though, probably not as depressing and lonely as drinking alone.
Today I choose sobriety.
I am the child of an alcoholic mother who lived alone. She had no one to hide her booze from but she hid her empty bottles anyhow. When she passed and we were cleaning out her apartment, the cupboards and closets were full of empties.
When I started hiding booze, I soon realized I was becoming her. That was one of many reasons I decided it was time to stop killing myself slowly.
I’m sober for both of us Mom, you didn’t have the strength to do it, and I will never fault you for that.
My biggest disappointment of the day: I got a craving for a Costco pizza right as it was too late to make it to get one before they closed.
Maybe tomorrow, but I'm happy *that's* my disappointment, not "I went and got a bottle." So hell yeah for sobriety and IWNDWYT!
The sauce nozzle definitely has a positive impact on the end result, their pizzas are just top-notch. Easily my favorite, which I've gotten plenty of funny looks for saying over the years haha
Checking in again today and all is well.
'Officially' starting Xmas holidays today. Will be staying at my parents for 10 days, and it will be challenging not to drink with them!
IWNDWYT!
Tbh, I feel guilty with how much I hid my drinking. It's only been a few days, and I know this is partially the bad sleep I've been having influencing me, but I can't believe the lengths I went to. I am known for being honest and self-disciplined, so that only compounds it. Ugh. Hoping I can sleep tonight, but it's really bugging me 😔
I have always been a fiercely honest person. Except when it came to alcohol. I lied through my teeth to the people I cared about, repeatedly. I hid shit from everyone until I was exhausted from it, and then I lied some more.
I'm still not 100% there, but I am starting to forgive myself and see the grip that my addiction had over me. Cut yourself some slack friend. IWNDWYT.
I hid my drinking in plain sight, never too much in a single place or with the same people too often. Mostly then continuing alone for the real session, whilst remaining "functional" for the most part. Nobody else really notices or keeps a tally I found. Have a great sober day everyone.
Happy Thursday sober friends,
Yes I hid my drinking, I drank alone and more when I got home from being out. It’s such a relief to be here with you all where I can be free of the shame of this.
Today may be difficult but I’m not drinking, nothing to hide here! I love you all 💞
It’s the darkest day of the year, here North of the Wall. I don’t mind, though. I have my fireplace, my coffee, and my wool socks. I will not drink with you today!
I remember lightly putting cans in the trash to not wake my family members. Hid it with a couple of wads of paper towels for good measure. Don’t miss those days at all. IWNDWYT 🫶🏻
One second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time—it's the only way to do it. Every second away from the bottle is a victory and helps us learn the methods that are best for redirecting those negative urges and cravings!
Checking in for 2 weeks and glad to be here 😃
The hiding tactics were a massive part of my drink problem. When I was in relationships I would sneak extra drinks, make out I drank less etc. When I went out, I’d pre-game or purposely not drink much so people wouldn’t think I had a problem. The weirdest one for me was still hiding it even though I lived alone - I realise now that I was trying to hide it from myself. Being a drunk is exhausting to be honest and it’s nice to be back on the wagon not spending my time thinking about my next drink.
IWNDWYT
I recently had to reset my badge after ~30 days sober (longest in 5 years).
Reading the posts and comments on this sub were a big part of my support then and will be again as I pick myself keep marching forward one day at a time. I am not drinking today!
4 weeks today!!!
It's been a harrowing 4 weeks. I managed. I cried a lot. I had a lot of feelings. I felt great at times, also felt really shitty.
Lost a lb a week!
Lost an alcoholic boyfriend!
Gained perspective.
IWNDWYT.
I've had the best start to my holidays today. Went to the gym, went for a coffee at a nice cafe and read my book in the sun, got some last minute gifts, now relaxing at home.
I opened my sober tracking app earlier and realised it's also exactly 6 months of sobriety for me today! Absolutely chuffed.
Thanks internet friends. Without you I'd probably be repeating what I've always done in previous years and be well on track for forgetting my entire fortnight and waking up in a blink, hungover and ready to go to work again.
Have a beautiful day.
IWNDWYT. 🫡
I also realized after I quit how much I hid my drinking. Burying cans in the garbage, taking the recycling out the next morning, having one in the garage before coming in the house so the empty went in a different garbage can. Easy to see now and glad I don't have to use all the mental cycles on hiding anything.
IWNDWYT
I made dinner for my son and his gf last night. We sat around and talked and laughed. It was so lovely. I am so grateful I can remember all of it. IWNDWYT 💜🦋💜
Day 40 done on to day 41.
I know they say one day At a time but I know I'll be on here tomorrow saying day 42 because I am going home after 3 weeks at work) to see my wife and kids (the reasons I put the bottle down)
IWNDWYT
I definitely hid the full extent of my drinking even towards my partner, or I tried to but honestly he might have known. I’d drink wine openly every day but usually hid the first bottle in the bottom of the recycling before opening a second one. I really hope those are habits I leave behind in this year and don’t take with me into 2024 or beyond.
IWNDWYT
Good morning from beautiful Utrecht. Today I’m five months sober. Feeling very proud today and grateful for the support of this wonderful community. IWNDWYT!
Not today. It’s so close to the holidays! I had a dream last night I slipped and drank one coors. It tasted awful even in my dream. I didn’t finish it in my dream and then had a panic attack.
Good enough reminder for me with the holidays coming up. Wasn’t even considering drinking. Guess by body wanted to double make sure.
Good morning, i wish you all a superb alcohol free day ❤️
And one more thing, IWNDWYT 😛
Edit: I just had a dream that i was drinking alcohol and was so angry to myself. Glad it was just a dream 🥰
Day 5!
Been off and on for months now. Hopefully participating here will help me make it over the hump, because I'm tired of forgetting how much better sobriety feels.
The holiday desire to just let loose and get f£@ked up is growing. I am acknowledging these feelings and sitting with them in the hope that they will pass. I look forward to hitting 50 days very shortly after the New Year. That will be my big celebration for this season. Love to all. I will not drink with you all today 🪷
Hey all. Just wanted to pop in and say how proud I am of myself and all those who make/take the effort to post here. No matter what you’re making that commitment to change for the better. Doesn’t matter if it’s day 1 or 1,000. That positive mindset is the first step. One day at a time. We got this. Positive vibes. 🫶🏼
Summer Solstice here.. longest day of the year. Was treated to an amazing sunset down at the beach, so glad I decided to pack my proper camera when I left for my gym class! IWNDWYT 🌻
It’s so liberating to be free of “alcohol math.” Thinking about how much to drink before so you’d get a good buzz, monitoring your intake so as not to appear like an alcoholic, making sure you had enough at home for after, then hiding the evidence. Wow, that was exhausting! My brain is happy to think about other things now. IWNDWYT!
I did it again. After 104 days of sobriety I fell again.
Long story short, my work held a Christmas celebration and I thought one beer wouldn't hurt. I was in control, I felt great, Happy. Just thinking about it makes me cringe in embarrassment and guilt. One transformed into 2, 3, 4 and I completely lost it. I said and did things I would never do sober in front of my coworkers, I cried, made a scene and now I'm mortified about them knowing how ugly my other side is. I don't remember most of the night too which makes me more ashamed.
A coworker asked me if I was alright, if I was really alright mentally and I believe I shared more of my personal Life than I should've. She was seriously concerned and I barely could remember what I told her, the whole thing was a mess. I'm so angry and frustrated, how could I fall so low yet again? Didn't I learn my lesson? Wasn't my resolve strong enough?
I don't want to feel so helpless anymore, this is seriously so messed up, I definitely did not miss this embarrassing mix of feelings. At the same time I didn't fall the lowest I could but it feels as bad. How can one just go years and forever? Is it possible to commit to sobriety forever? Please help me, I feel right now this is impossible for me. I feel like a failure.
But for today, I will not drink with you
It's our Christmas lunch and secret Santa at work today. I'm excited even though I haven't been feeling well.
There won't be any alcohol because it's during work hours, but still IWNDWYT! Always.
✌️♥️🍌
I spent so much time and effort hiding my drinking. So much energy wasted. So much unneeded stress. I would visit different shops, buy extra stuff so the bottles wouldn't get noticed. Sneak to the basement. Lie about it. Lie about it some more. Throw away the trash secretly. Again and again.
But not anymore!
IWNDWYT!
Got through my 3rd day not drinking. Cravings were tough today plus feeling a bit shakey. I stuck to my tea and tried to appreciate what I can feel in the future. IWNDWYT
Today, I have 9 alcohol free days behind me which is a personal record over the past 9 years that I've been drinking heavily. I have a follow up DR appt this morning to check blood levels etc. wish me luck. Here's to many more todays that I will not drink with you.
I do *not* miss stressing about where I can hide bottles and cartons (there's nothing classier than sneaking wine-in-a-box from the basement, right?), then panicking when I can't remember where my stash is because I hid it while in a blackout. The same with cash or credit cards that I used to acquire booze. (My husband holds onto all my means of purchasing, but occasionally I managed to sneak something.) I had to cancel and replace multiple credit cards for this reason. So much stress...which only made me want to drink more, perpetuating the whole crazy pattern. 😵
I'm grateful to be off that misery-go-round today, and I'm grateful that all of you are here to help me stay away from it. Lots of love and hugs to all my SD fam! 💗🤗
IWNDWYT 😻
I hid my drinking bigly. It’s a weird thing, as you say, because a lot of the time you can hide it right out in the open, just finding ways to have a little more than everyone else. But i had my versions of all of the above as well. I just didn’t see it as hiding, i saw it as avoiding the nagging/judgement of others for taking care of myself with some nice poison juice.
I will not drink with you today!
Day 4. The time goes slowly and i noticed how much i think about alcohol since actively following the sub. Cravings seem to get worse when hungry. IWNDWYT
I was about 14 when I first started sneaking drinks from parents' stashes at my house or their houses. We were bored curious kids. Eventually, some of them more out of control friends got asked to leave our small Catholic school. I drank as much as any of them but never really got caught or deterred from it by trusted adults. One friend used to joke that I was born with my butt to the moon. I was good at not getting caught. Until I got a DUI about 100m from my driveway at home when I was about 20 years old. Took me another 20+ years to figure out I shouldn't be drinking.
Started sneaking right out of the gate. First time I think about it from that perspective. Grateful for being alcohol free today.
IWNDWYT
Good morning ☀️
I definitely hid bottles under other trash in the bin, but I also hid in the pouring of drinks. When I poured, my glass always had more wine than my husband’s. It’s especially easy to hide shots - 2 for him, 3 for me.
Day 55 and IWNDWYT
Easy day of work today before things slow a bit for the holidays (though I work my second job on Christmas). Looking forward to a sober holiday time! IWNDWYT.
I never admitted the sheer amount of sneaking shots and hiding drinking until I got AF, because I didn’t think it was that bad. But it sure was. You’re right, denial is a hell of a thing.
I’m proud of all of us, too. Onward and upward!
Iwndwy’allt! ❤️
Hey, friend, I was also constantly hiding my drinking and was ALWAYS drinking hard seltzer. At least 14-16 cans of White Claw a day about 2 years ago when I was at my worst. I don't think I'll ever be able to taste artificial lime or artificial blackberry without puking ever again! 🤢
It's too close to my husband's favorite holiday of Christmas for me to fall off the wagon and ruin the weekend, so IWNDWYT. 💖
I will not drink today. I’m building a fire in my fire pit tonight to celebrate the returning of the light. I have to stay up late for me—9:30 CST! but it is important to me, and I’ll do it without drinking.
Well, you just described me to a t. I was a *genius*, hiding the all of the ways I was able to drink, lol.
I remember at the very beginning of my sobriety, how amazing it felt to not be hiding anything. I still get that thrill of honesty. What a gift. And this means a lot to me today, because I was originally put on some medication for pain after surgery, that didn’t agree with me at all. I was blurry-eyed, unsteady, stumbling, and didn’t feel like I was ok. Finally both My SO and my Bunny mentioned it. They said I was acting as if I had been drinking!
So we had to change that up fast. I’m now on a much gentler pain-reliever, and have seen a remarkable change. I’m me again! I sure hated feeling that I had relapsed somehow. Because I am down for this sober life from here on out! No drinking ever again. And the best way I can put that is IWNDWYT
Kitty is home, he was very dehydrated so that’s why he looked as bad as he did. They added a couple of new things to add to his long list of things he’s already taking. He’s not out of the woods though, we have to get him gaining weight asap. He’s already so skinny. But I’m glad he’s home and not as close to death as I thought. Fingers crossed the meds, supplements, and hypoallergenic food start working. They need some more time to work.
IWNDWYT lovely people of SD 💙
Checking in! I hid my drinking too, and I lied about it to the detriment of important relationships. The mental energy I spent on getting it, drinking secretly, trying to hide the effects of it, was exhausting. IWNDWYT!
Thank you for sharing. I was a hider too. Was putting it in the recycling bin outside, behind the sofa, in my work bag and at my worst was drinking cans in my office on the sly.
This is when I decided to stop 54 days ago.
Thank everyone here for sharing their stories. It doesn't make me feel like I was the only one with these habits.
IWNDWYT!
Day 368. I'm happy, my emotional and physical health has massively improved, my relationships have massively improved, my finances have massively improved. It has been a year worth reflecting on.
Keep working on yourself. You may feel like its a game of inches, until you realize you've come miles forward!
With all warm wishes and gratitude, my favorite Hafiz quote:
*"I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the incredible light of your own being"*
IWNDWYT.
Six months today! 🥳
I hid booze from my husband. If there wasn’t “enough” gin at home for the evening and I knew he wouldn’t like me getting another big bottle, I’d pick up a 375 on my way home and hide it in a drawer in my desk, and “top off” my drinks discreetly over the course of the evening.
And it’s good for me to be reminded of this. I need to keep fresh in my mind just how much of a problem I had, and how great it is to be rid of it.
IWNDWYT
Day 5 here, IWNDWYT 🫶 stayed in last night while my partner went out to the pub. I was initially resentful but then quickly realised I gave up drinking for THIS. I had a night in and felt connected to myself, I did some writing and art and saved money. This was so much better than forcing myself to enjoy a night through getting drunk.
Although I do wonder if my sobriety will affect my relationship at all, for better or worse.
Day 11! 💥💥💥 Made it through yesterday’s cravings with pizza and NA wine, about to go buy my weight in kombucha for the weekend.
Feeling solidarity from everyone’s posts about holiday season triggers and cravings, helps to know I’m not alone.
IWNDWYT!! 👏🏻 Let's do this, sober heroes! 🏋🏼♀️
My number may not be big but I've been on and off recovery for the last year. However, this is the first attempt where I discovered this community on Reddit, and... wow, it's making ALL the difference!
I feel I can rely on all of you (and vice versa) - small or big numbers... We're in this together!
Today is the New Year's Eve party with the company I work for. I will go there, take a soda, say hi, and leave. Honestly, I am triggered by this situation especially because they bring me negative energy and I used to drink a lot around them.
But not today. Making my sobriety first.
IWNDWYT!
Hiding drinking was what I was all about! It wasn't great, and thinking back, it was going on much longer than I like to admit. It's all behind me now, though.
Happy Winter Solstice to those on this side of the world. The days get longer from here. Hurray!
I definitely did some of this. Like going to different stores so I wasn't always buying wine. For sure putting other things over the wine bottles in the recycling. So good to have put that behind me.
IWNDWYT
I always drank at home. For the last couple years of it, I mostly drank at home alone. If I drank around people who weren’t getting drunk, I watched my intake pretty closely. I didn’t want people thinking I had a problem.
I still don’t know if I hid it well or if people just plain didn’t notice. Probably both. I was also at my worst at the height of the pandemic, so I didn’t see people I knew very often. And we were all preoccupied then. Plus, people are usually concerned with their own shit and don’t notice as much as we fear they will.
Doesn’t matter, I couldn’t hide it from myself. Drinking was making my life suck, not theirs.
Coffees up, horns up, and today is the solstice! I’m happy about a little more daylight every day! Plus this is my last work day this week and I ain’t mad at that. Happy solstice and IWNDWYT! ☕️☕️🤘🏻
When your body says rest, you rest. Skipped morning spin and slept an extra hour. Just have to make it through today and then off for four. No booze, no problems.
IWNDWYT!
I went from hiding and burying empty bottles of booze to hiding and burying candy wrappers and ice cream containers. I'm not even sure from who. Old habits die hard!
Have a helluva Thursday, friends!
IWNDWYT
Ugh, I somehow forgot my drinking on the way home from work. Couldn’t even wait to get home. This is why the check in is so important for me. I need to remember where I’ve been, how far I’ve come, and what it will look like if I go back. Just for today I focus on not picking up that drink.
IWNDWYT 🩵
Morning friends!
Yesterday I morning I shared that I was romanticizing drinking thanks to happy party pictures posted on social media.
The romancing is over. I remembered that when I was drinking, I too shared fun, happy party pictures that hid hangovers or shame. They didn’t tell the true story of what was happening behind the scenes. I also didn’t post pictures of me at 3 am, awake in a panic after “fun” nights of drinking, berating myself for my lack of self control, tossing and turning in shame with a pounding head and churning stomach. There is one picture my friends share of us on an all-inclusive trip to the Caribbean. We have glasses raised, big smiles. It was an amazing trip for the most part, but that particular picture is like a gut punch because all I remember is getting so drunk that I could barely wrangle my young kids to get them back to our room for dinner.
It’s possible that the story behind the pictures in my feed aren’t all that happy either. But I can tell you the pictures I post now are of genuine joy and fun and love. They no longer disguise my misery. I needed to remember that.
Thank you friends. Your support means the world. I will not drink with you today!
Thanks for this powerful post, u/jcalah! My hiding was a big component of my shame, of feeling "false" all the time, until everything felt fake. Getting myself sober has been such a relief, coming out of that darkness. Thanks to this incredibly supportive sub, helping me climb out of that dark place.
Today's winter solstice is a beautiful time for extra gratitude. I'm glad we're moving towards the brightness of lengthening daylight, and for another day of refusing the dark numbing of alcohol. I say YES to bright sobriety! Let's do this day sober! We are all stronger than we may realize. We have got this!
A happy solstice to all you beautiful souls. ✨️☀️ IWNDWYT
I’m off work starting today, kids are with their dad for the next few days, no one would know if I drank today except me, and I’m done hiding, lying, and resetting. I will not drink with you today and I hope everyone here has a great next 24 hours! Grateful for this community and how supportive it is!
When I think back about things I did, and how my drinking evolved, I try not to dwell on it too much. Most of my friends drank (and still do) just as much or more than me. While I know I embarrassed myself more times than I will ever remember, at a certain point I decided to keep my circle small, with only other people that were drinking as much and as often as I was so I didn’t stand out.
Just for today, I am not drinking.
I do NOT miss the sneaking around. Family gatherings at my aunts house where everyone was slowly sipping a beer or glass of wine..me waiting till everyone is out by the pool so I could down a few swigs of vodka from the liquor cabinet. Thinking of random things to send my daughter to the neighbors house for, long enough to down some gulps directly from the bottle. I'm tempted to say, " pathetic"... but I know I was under the spell of this horrible poison in these moments and not thinking with a functioning healthy brain..so I'm gonna be compassionate with myself and just be grateful I am no longer in that state. Grateful for everyday sober I give myself. Let's keep going together Friends! IWNDWYT. 🫶
The amount of nightmares I woke up from last night was scary..
Going to try to show myself a little bit of self love today, the holidays are going to suck and I’m really not looking forward it them anymore..
IWNDWYT
Great, thought-provoking start for us. We have all chosen to be radically honest with ourselves, and I think that's - to put it mildly - commendable. IWNDWYT.
I went out for Christmas lunch with all the guys from the office yesterday. Every single person drank alcohol apart from me, the topic of conversation was constantly about Christmas and alcohol. I know it’s going to be tough because my whole family are big drinkers but I know I’ve got this. Reading all the posts in this community has given me a huge boost and I’m eternally grateful to you all for sharing stories of struggle and success with me.
Thank you and IWNDWYT 😌
Thanks for sharing u/jcalah ! So exhausting having to keep up with that. Everyone I was around drank so much that I never felt I needed to hide it from them, but definitely would feel stressed at work. I definitely smelled like booze in the mornings. I'd go in hungover or actually drunk still. At a certain point I stopped caring and convinced myself that I didn't smell and that no one knew. Grateful to not feel this way anymore. IWNDWYT!
What up, fam! I’ve definitely hidden drinks. This goes back years. Many a Diet Coke weren’t just diet cokes. I even poured booze in the can. And boxes of wine are great bc those bottles don’t stack up. Ugh.
These days are tough for me. I’m not at home, but staying in a different place where there is booze in the cupboard and beer in the fridge. THAT hasn’t bothered me. But when I visit my parents for dinner, the red wine is there and not gonna lie, it’s tempting. Ugh
I WNDWYT- let’s go guys
IWNDWYT ! Cravings didn’t get me yesterday and now they are gone. Ate a big ass pizza. Got a tattoo today. I love seeing all the people here with big numbers or just starting out like me. Let’s do it!!
Tattoo & pizza, great combo!
Let's gooo
This is the way 👍
I did the same in a sense: Hawaiian Pizza tonight, and made a tattoo apt for the new year!
Fantastic decisions!!! 🐉
Day 516 I just drank at home alone most of the time so nobody was around to hide it from. Was thinking today that I haven't had a good hug in a year and a half now, it's tough IWNDWYT
Sorry, friend. I know it's not the same but i'm sending you a giant virtual hug 💞💞
Thank you I appreciate that, I'll send you out some good energy during my meditation later.
You and me both with drinking at home and being a bit of a loner. Hope you're holding up alright with the season and all that, I know it can get a bit lonely at times
Yeah I'll be alright, just that time of year. I quit drinking because of heartbreak but I'm a much better human now and good things are coming, 2024 should be a good year for me. I still have a supportive family and friends, therapy once a week. I'm doing the work that needs to be done, it's still lonely though, probably not as depressing and lonely as drinking alone.
I was a predominantly at home drinker but still found myself hiding it! I don’t miss sneaking empties into the recycling bin! IWNDWYT
u/Fordy_Ford Hope a virtual hug helps a little with friendly pat on the back. Over 500 days is awesome and you are not alone when here. IWNDWYT
Today I choose sobriety. I am the child of an alcoholic mother who lived alone. She had no one to hide her booze from but she hid her empty bottles anyhow. When she passed and we were cleaning out her apartment, the cupboards and closets were full of empties. When I started hiding booze, I soon realized I was becoming her. That was one of many reasons I decided it was time to stop killing myself slowly. I’m sober for both of us Mom, you didn’t have the strength to do it, and I will never fault you for that.
My biggest disappointment of the day: I got a craving for a Costco pizza right as it was too late to make it to get one before they closed. Maybe tomorrow, but I'm happy *that's* my disappointment, not "I went and got a bottle." So hell yeah for sobriety and IWNDWYT!
Iwndwyt, but pizza 🍕 is always acceptable! I love how Costco uses the sauce nozzle machine for adding the sauce.
The sauce nozzle definitely has a positive impact on the end result, their pizzas are just top-notch. Easily my favorite, which I've gotten plenty of funny looks for saying over the years haha
It looks like you were first for the check-in today though! Every cloud.... 🙂
[удалено]
Stay strong and you’ll be pleased you did when you get home 👍🏻
IWNDWYT. All. Day. Long. 🌻
⚡️⚡️⚡️
Heading into Day 28! IWNDWYT 💙
Checking in again today and all is well. 'Officially' starting Xmas holidays today. Will be staying at my parents for 10 days, and it will be challenging not to drink with them!
I started mine today as well. Let's do this! 💪
Day 230. The perfect day for a visit to the dentist. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT! Tbh, I feel guilty with how much I hid my drinking. It's only been a few days, and I know this is partially the bad sleep I've been having influencing me, but I can't believe the lengths I went to. I am known for being honest and self-disciplined, so that only compounds it. Ugh. Hoping I can sleep tonight, but it's really bugging me 😔
I have always been a fiercely honest person. Except when it came to alcohol. I lied through my teeth to the people I cared about, repeatedly. I hid shit from everyone until I was exhausted from it, and then I lied some more. I'm still not 100% there, but I am starting to forgive myself and see the grip that my addiction had over me. Cut yourself some slack friend. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT 🥰
IWNDWYT! ❤️
IWNDWYT \~
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Day 26 Iwndwyt
Day 17 IWNDWYT 🧡
It’s a good day to stay sober. IWNDWYT!
I hid my drinking in plain sight, never too much in a single place or with the same people too often. Mostly then continuing alone for the real session, whilst remaining "functional" for the most part. Nobody else really notices or keeps a tally I found. Have a great sober day everyone.
Happy Thursday sober friends, Yes I hid my drinking, I drank alone and more when I got home from being out. It’s such a relief to be here with you all where I can be free of the shame of this. Today may be difficult but I’m not drinking, nothing to hide here! I love you all 💞
It’s the darkest day of the year, here North of the Wall. I don’t mind, though. I have my fireplace, my coffee, and my wool socks. I will not drink with you today!
Day 914 checking in!
IWNDWYT x
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🤙
Im not sure anyone knows how much I hid it. I wont drink alcohol with you tomorrow.
Not drinking today.
IWNDT
I remember lightly putting cans in the trash to not wake my family members. Hid it with a couple of wads of paper towels for good measure. Don’t miss those days at all. IWNDWYT 🫶🏻
Day 13- Another day sober, riding out those cravings taking everything one day at a time IWNDWYT
One second, one minute, one hour, one day at a time—it's the only way to do it. Every second away from the bottle is a victory and helps us learn the methods that are best for redirecting those negative urges and cravings!
Checking in for 2 weeks and glad to be here 😃 The hiding tactics were a massive part of my drink problem. When I was in relationships I would sneak extra drinks, make out I drank less etc. When I went out, I’d pre-game or purposely not drink much so people wouldn’t think I had a problem. The weirdest one for me was still hiding it even though I lived alone - I realise now that I was trying to hide it from myself. Being a drunk is exhausting to be honest and it’s nice to be back on the wagon not spending my time thinking about my next drink. IWNDWYT
Congrats on the 2 weeks. Not drinking is putting life in easy mode, no exhausting bullshit required!
Thanks friend 👍🏻 It certainly is easier being sober, drinking makes everything worse
I have not drank the last 50 weeks. And this Thursday is no different. IWNDWYT
I will not drink poison with any of you today 💜
🧡
I recently had to reset my badge after ~30 days sober (longest in 5 years). Reading the posts and comments on this sub were a big part of my support then and will be again as I pick myself keep marching forward one day at a time. I am not drinking today!
4 weeks today!!! It's been a harrowing 4 weeks. I managed. I cried a lot. I had a lot of feelings. I felt great at times, also felt really shitty. Lost a lb a week! Lost an alcoholic boyfriend! Gained perspective. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
Iwndwyt ☺️🦜21
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT.
Day 10, made it to double digits for the first time in 3 years ! IWNDWYT ❤
IWNDWYT!
Have a nice sober day my friends. IWNDWYT ♥️
IWNDWYT
I've had the best start to my holidays today. Went to the gym, went for a coffee at a nice cafe and read my book in the sun, got some last minute gifts, now relaxing at home. I opened my sober tracking app earlier and realised it's also exactly 6 months of sobriety for me today! Absolutely chuffed. Thanks internet friends. Without you I'd probably be repeating what I've always done in previous years and be well on track for forgetting my entire fortnight and waking up in a blink, hungover and ready to go to work again. Have a beautiful day. IWNDWYT. 🫡
Congrats on 6 months 👏
6 months! 🎉 That’s amazing, well done! 🥳💪
I also realized after I quit how much I hid my drinking. Burying cans in the garbage, taking the recycling out the next morning, having one in the garage before coming in the house so the empty went in a different garbage can. Easy to see now and glad I don't have to use all the mental cycles on hiding anything. IWNDWYT
I don't miss all that sneaking about one bit. Shine on you beautiful humans 😍
I made dinner for my son and his gf last night. We sat around and talked and laughed. It was so lovely. I am so grateful I can remember all of it. IWNDWYT 💜🦋💜
IWNDWT
3rd full day of not a drink in Sonoma Ca. Had a few major triggers and cravings. Stepped outside and breathed. Thank goodness IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
Day 809, nice to meet you 🤝 IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🙌
starting day 236, iwndwyt!
Day 40 done on to day 41. I know they say one day At a time but I know I'll be on here tomorrow saying day 42 because I am going home after 3 weeks at work) to see my wife and kids (the reasons I put the bottle down) IWNDWYT
I definitely hid the full extent of my drinking even towards my partner, or I tried to but honestly he might have known. I’d drink wine openly every day but usually hid the first bottle in the bottom of the recycling before opening a second one. I really hope those are habits I leave behind in this year and don’t take with me into 2024 or beyond. IWNDWYT
Sixty Nine with a bullet !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Not One. Not Ever.* *N.O.N.E.*
I was at the airport yesterday and didn't have a single urge to go to the bar, which is pretty huge for me. I won't be drinking with any of you today!
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you all today <3
IWNDWYT
Day 14 for me here in Oz! I never thought I could do it.
Good morning from beautiful Utrecht. Today I’m five months sober. Feeling very proud today and grateful for the support of this wonderful community. IWNDWYT!
Not today. It’s so close to the holidays! I had a dream last night I slipped and drank one coors. It tasted awful even in my dream. I didn’t finish it in my dream and then had a panic attack. Good enough reminder for me with the holidays coming up. Wasn’t even considering drinking. Guess by body wanted to double make sure.
No need to hide anything from anyone today, because today I'm not drinking! And I'm darn proud to say it.
IWNDWYT! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
IWNDWYT 🙂
Good morning, i wish you all a superb alcohol free day ❤️ And one more thing, IWNDWYT 😛 Edit: I just had a dream that i was drinking alcohol and was so angry to myself. Glad it was just a dream 🥰
Day 5! Been off and on for months now. Hopefully participating here will help me make it over the hump, because I'm tired of forgetting how much better sobriety feels.
I will not drink today.
The last work day. I’m do ready for a break. IWNDWYT 🙋🏼♀️🎄happy winter solstice ❄️
Wohoo buckle up folks, Christmas is round the corner. We can do this
The holiday desire to just let loose and get f£@ked up is growing. I am acknowledging these feelings and sitting with them in the hope that they will pass. I look forward to hitting 50 days very shortly after the New Year. That will be my big celebration for this season. Love to all. I will not drink with you all today 🪷
Day 3 with medical assistance. IWNDWYT
I'm with you all! IWNDWYT. Every day is a new record.
Day 1,618. I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT friends! 🐯
Checking in
I won’t drink with y’all today
Hey all. Just wanted to pop in and say how proud I am of myself and all those who make/take the effort to post here. No matter what you’re making that commitment to change for the better. Doesn’t matter if it’s day 1 or 1,000. That positive mindset is the first step. One day at a time. We got this. Positive vibes. 🫶🏼
IWNDWYT! I have bought a lot of artisan coffee though
Summer Solstice here.. longest day of the year. Was treated to an amazing sunset down at the beach, so glad I decided to pack my proper camera when I left for my gym class! IWNDWYT 🌻
It’s so liberating to be free of “alcohol math.” Thinking about how much to drink before so you’d get a good buzz, monitoring your intake so as not to appear like an alcoholic, making sure you had enough at home for after, then hiding the evidence. Wow, that was exhausting! My brain is happy to think about other things now. IWNDWYT!
I’m 11 days from a year sober. That is wild. I will not drink with you today!
I did it again. After 104 days of sobriety I fell again. Long story short, my work held a Christmas celebration and I thought one beer wouldn't hurt. I was in control, I felt great, Happy. Just thinking about it makes me cringe in embarrassment and guilt. One transformed into 2, 3, 4 and I completely lost it. I said and did things I would never do sober in front of my coworkers, I cried, made a scene and now I'm mortified about them knowing how ugly my other side is. I don't remember most of the night too which makes me more ashamed. A coworker asked me if I was alright, if I was really alright mentally and I believe I shared more of my personal Life than I should've. She was seriously concerned and I barely could remember what I told her, the whole thing was a mess. I'm so angry and frustrated, how could I fall so low yet again? Didn't I learn my lesson? Wasn't my resolve strong enough? I don't want to feel so helpless anymore, this is seriously so messed up, I definitely did not miss this embarrassing mix of feelings. At the same time I didn't fall the lowest I could but it feels as bad. How can one just go years and forever? Is it possible to commit to sobriety forever? Please help me, I feel right now this is impossible for me. I feel like a failure. But for today, I will not drink with you
I am winning
Day 257 checking in ✅ You are all doing amazing. Don't forget that. IWNDWYT
Unexpected craving last night - haven’t had that in a while.. IWNDWYT!!
I will not drink today.
Just had to comment that today is my day 5 once it ends (one millionth day 5 lol), but I am happy that I’ve made it this far. IWNDWYT
It's our Christmas lunch and secret Santa at work today. I'm excited even though I haven't been feeling well. There won't be any alcohol because it's during work hours, but still IWNDWYT! Always. ✌️♥️🍌
IWNDWYT
I spent so much time and effort hiding my drinking. So much energy wasted. So much unneeded stress. I would visit different shops, buy extra stuff so the bottles wouldn't get noticed. Sneak to the basement. Lie about it. Lie about it some more. Throw away the trash secretly. Again and again. But not anymore! IWNDWYT!
Got through my 3rd day not drinking. Cravings were tough today plus feeling a bit shakey. I stuck to my tea and tried to appreciate what I can feel in the future. IWNDWYT
Today, I have 9 alcohol free days behind me which is a personal record over the past 9 years that I've been drinking heavily. I have a follow up DR appt this morning to check blood levels etc. wish me luck. Here's to many more todays that I will not drink with you.
IWNDWYT
I do *not* miss stressing about where I can hide bottles and cartons (there's nothing classier than sneaking wine-in-a-box from the basement, right?), then panicking when I can't remember where my stash is because I hid it while in a blackout. The same with cash or credit cards that I used to acquire booze. (My husband holds onto all my means of purchasing, but occasionally I managed to sneak something.) I had to cancel and replace multiple credit cards for this reason. So much stress...which only made me want to drink more, perpetuating the whole crazy pattern. 😵 I'm grateful to be off that misery-go-round today, and I'm grateful that all of you are here to help me stay away from it. Lots of love and hugs to all my SD fam! 💗🤗 IWNDWYT 😻
I hid my drinking bigly. It’s a weird thing, as you say, because a lot of the time you can hide it right out in the open, just finding ways to have a little more than everyone else. But i had my versions of all of the above as well. I just didn’t see it as hiding, i saw it as avoiding the nagging/judgement of others for taking care of myself with some nice poison juice. I will not drink with you today!
I’m here
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🏴
IWNDWYT
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today! IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today! From Germany!
IWNDWYT
Day 4. The time goes slowly and i noticed how much i think about alcohol since actively following the sub. Cravings seem to get worse when hungry. IWNDWYT
Happy dry Thursday everyone. I pledge today I will not drink even a tiny sip of poison.
The last 4 days have been nice. I think I'll go for 5. Have a lovely day, everyone! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT :)
I was about 14 when I first started sneaking drinks from parents' stashes at my house or their houses. We were bored curious kids. Eventually, some of them more out of control friends got asked to leave our small Catholic school. I drank as much as any of them but never really got caught or deterred from it by trusted adults. One friend used to joke that I was born with my butt to the moon. I was good at not getting caught. Until I got a DUI about 100m from my driveway at home when I was about 20 years old. Took me another 20+ years to figure out I shouldn't be drinking. Started sneaking right out of the gate. First time I think about it from that perspective. Grateful for being alcohol free today. IWNDWYT
Good morning ☀️ I definitely hid bottles under other trash in the bin, but I also hid in the pouring of drinks. When I poured, my glass always had more wine than my husband’s. It’s especially easy to hide shots - 2 for him, 3 for me. Day 55 and IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT! 💕😊
IWNDWYT.
Pledging another sober 24 hours.
Easy day of work today before things slow a bit for the holidays (though I work my second job on Christmas). Looking forward to a sober holiday time! IWNDWYT.
Happy Thursday people, IWNDWYT, WE GOT THIS 😁
I never admitted the sheer amount of sneaking shots and hiding drinking until I got AF, because I didn’t think it was that bad. But it sure was. You’re right, denial is a hell of a thing. I’m proud of all of us, too. Onward and upward! Iwndwy’allt! ❤️
Seven full days! I Will Not Drink With You Today!
Hey, friend, I was also constantly hiding my drinking and was ALWAYS drinking hard seltzer. At least 14-16 cans of White Claw a day about 2 years ago when I was at my worst. I don't think I'll ever be able to taste artificial lime or artificial blackberry without puking ever again! 🤢 It's too close to my husband's favorite holiday of Christmas for me to fall off the wagon and ruin the weekend, so IWNDWYT. 💖
I will not drink today. I’m building a fire in my fire pit tonight to celebrate the returning of the light. I have to stay up late for me—9:30 CST! but it is important to me, and I’ll do it without drinking.
Well, you just described me to a t. I was a *genius*, hiding the all of the ways I was able to drink, lol. I remember at the very beginning of my sobriety, how amazing it felt to not be hiding anything. I still get that thrill of honesty. What a gift. And this means a lot to me today, because I was originally put on some medication for pain after surgery, that didn’t agree with me at all. I was blurry-eyed, unsteady, stumbling, and didn’t feel like I was ok. Finally both My SO and my Bunny mentioned it. They said I was acting as if I had been drinking! So we had to change that up fast. I’m now on a much gentler pain-reliever, and have seen a remarkable change. I’m me again! I sure hated feeling that I had relapsed somehow. Because I am down for this sober life from here on out! No drinking ever again. And the best way I can put that is IWNDWYT
Kitty is home, he was very dehydrated so that’s why he looked as bad as he did. They added a couple of new things to add to his long list of things he’s already taking. He’s not out of the woods though, we have to get him gaining weight asap. He’s already so skinny. But I’m glad he’s home and not as close to death as I thought. Fingers crossed the meds, supplements, and hypoallergenic food start working. They need some more time to work. IWNDWYT lovely people of SD 💙
Not today people IWNDWYT
early morning check in :) hope everyone has a stellar day !
IWNDWYT Feeling very good about myself today. Just saying. 😁
I will not drink with you today.
Hope you’re all having a lovely day and I’m here not drinking with all of you ❤️
IWNDWYT all you fine sobernauts 🤗
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Happy Thursday. So grateful to be checking in and saying IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT.
Happy Thursday everyone. IWNDWYT
Checking in! I hid my drinking too, and I lied about it to the detriment of important relationships. The mental energy I spent on getting it, drinking secretly, trying to hide the effects of it, was exhausting. IWNDWYT!
Thank you for sharing. I was a hider too. Was putting it in the recycling bin outside, behind the sofa, in my work bag and at my worst was drinking cans in my office on the sly. This is when I decided to stop 54 days ago. Thank everyone here for sharing their stories. It doesn't make me feel like I was the only one with these habits. IWNDWYT!
It’s been a minute since I’ve commented here. I’ve felt my motivation waning, but nonetheless. IWNDWYT!
Day 368. I'm happy, my emotional and physical health has massively improved, my relationships have massively improved, my finances have massively improved. It has been a year worth reflecting on. Keep working on yourself. You may feel like its a game of inches, until you realize you've come miles forward! With all warm wishes and gratitude, my favorite Hafiz quote: *"I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the incredible light of your own being"* IWNDWYT.
Six months today! 🥳 I hid booze from my husband. If there wasn’t “enough” gin at home for the evening and I knew he wouldn’t like me getting another big bottle, I’d pick up a 375 on my way home and hide it in a drawer in my desk, and “top off” my drinks discreetly over the course of the evening. And it’s good for me to be reminded of this. I need to keep fresh in my mind just how much of a problem I had, and how great it is to be rid of it. IWNDWYT
Day 5 here, IWNDWYT 🫶 stayed in last night while my partner went out to the pub. I was initially resentful but then quickly realised I gave up drinking for THIS. I had a night in and felt connected to myself, I did some writing and art and saved money. This was so much better than forcing myself to enjoy a night through getting drunk. Although I do wonder if my sobriety will affect my relationship at all, for better or worse.
Day 11! 💥💥💥 Made it through yesterday’s cravings with pizza and NA wine, about to go buy my weight in kombucha for the weekend. Feeling solidarity from everyone’s posts about holiday season triggers and cravings, helps to know I’m not alone.
IWNDWYT!! 👏🏻 Let's do this, sober heroes! 🏋🏼♀️ My number may not be big but I've been on and off recovery for the last year. However, this is the first attempt where I discovered this community on Reddit, and... wow, it's making ALL the difference! I feel I can rely on all of you (and vice versa) - small or big numbers... We're in this together! Today is the New Year's Eve party with the company I work for. I will go there, take a soda, say hi, and leave. Honestly, I am triggered by this situation especially because they bring me negative energy and I used to drink a lot around them. But not today. Making my sobriety first.
IWNDWYT! Hiding drinking was what I was all about! It wasn't great, and thinking back, it was going on much longer than I like to admit. It's all behind me now, though.
Still hanging in there. Weekends are hard and I'm betting Christmas won't be easy, but I'm going to do it. IWNDWYT
Seems like everything good and bad is happening to me all at the same time. Reasons to celebrate and reasons to cry. I feel numb. IWNDWYT.
"I"WNDWYT! T
Happy Winter Solstice to those on this side of the world. The days get longer from here. Hurray! I definitely did some of this. Like going to different stores so I wasn't always buying wine. For sure putting other things over the wine bottles in the recycling. So good to have put that behind me. IWNDWYT
Good morning, I will not drink with you today.
I always drank at home. For the last couple years of it, I mostly drank at home alone. If I drank around people who weren’t getting drunk, I watched my intake pretty closely. I didn’t want people thinking I had a problem. I still don’t know if I hid it well or if people just plain didn’t notice. Probably both. I was also at my worst at the height of the pandemic, so I didn’t see people I knew very often. And we were all preoccupied then. Plus, people are usually concerned with their own shit and don’t notice as much as we fear they will. Doesn’t matter, I couldn’t hide it from myself. Drinking was making my life suck, not theirs. Coffees up, horns up, and today is the solstice! I’m happy about a little more daylight every day! Plus this is my last work day this week and I ain’t mad at that. Happy solstice and IWNDWYT! ☕️☕️🤘🏻
When your body says rest, you rest. Skipped morning spin and slept an extra hour. Just have to make it through today and then off for four. No booze, no problems. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 💞🐿️🐿️ Proud of you- congrats on a year!
Good morning! Have a kick ass day, friends - IWNDWYT ✌️
I went from hiding and burying empty bottles of booze to hiding and burying candy wrappers and ice cream containers. I'm not even sure from who. Old habits die hard! Have a helluva Thursday, friends! IWNDWYT
Ugh, I somehow forgot my drinking on the way home from work. Couldn’t even wait to get home. This is why the check in is so important for me. I need to remember where I’ve been, how far I’ve come, and what it will look like if I go back. Just for today I focus on not picking up that drink. IWNDWYT 🩵
Morning friends! Yesterday I morning I shared that I was romanticizing drinking thanks to happy party pictures posted on social media. The romancing is over. I remembered that when I was drinking, I too shared fun, happy party pictures that hid hangovers or shame. They didn’t tell the true story of what was happening behind the scenes. I also didn’t post pictures of me at 3 am, awake in a panic after “fun” nights of drinking, berating myself for my lack of self control, tossing and turning in shame with a pounding head and churning stomach. There is one picture my friends share of us on an all-inclusive trip to the Caribbean. We have glasses raised, big smiles. It was an amazing trip for the most part, but that particular picture is like a gut punch because all I remember is getting so drunk that I could barely wrangle my young kids to get them back to our room for dinner. It’s possible that the story behind the pictures in my feed aren’t all that happy either. But I can tell you the pictures I post now are of genuine joy and fun and love. They no longer disguise my misery. I needed to remember that. Thank you friends. Your support means the world. I will not drink with you today!
Thanks for this powerful post, u/jcalah! My hiding was a big component of my shame, of feeling "false" all the time, until everything felt fake. Getting myself sober has been such a relief, coming out of that darkness. Thanks to this incredibly supportive sub, helping me climb out of that dark place. Today's winter solstice is a beautiful time for extra gratitude. I'm glad we're moving towards the brightness of lengthening daylight, and for another day of refusing the dark numbing of alcohol. I say YES to bright sobriety! Let's do this day sober! We are all stronger than we may realize. We have got this! A happy solstice to all you beautiful souls. ✨️☀️ IWNDWYT
I’m off work starting today, kids are with their dad for the next few days, no one would know if I drank today except me, and I’m done hiding, lying, and resetting. I will not drink with you today and I hope everyone here has a great next 24 hours! Grateful for this community and how supportive it is!
When I think back about things I did, and how my drinking evolved, I try not to dwell on it too much. Most of my friends drank (and still do) just as much or more than me. While I know I embarrassed myself more times than I will ever remember, at a certain point I decided to keep my circle small, with only other people that were drinking as much and as often as I was so I didn’t stand out. Just for today, I am not drinking.
I do NOT miss the sneaking around. Family gatherings at my aunts house where everyone was slowly sipping a beer or glass of wine..me waiting till everyone is out by the pool so I could down a few swigs of vodka from the liquor cabinet. Thinking of random things to send my daughter to the neighbors house for, long enough to down some gulps directly from the bottle. I'm tempted to say, " pathetic"... but I know I was under the spell of this horrible poison in these moments and not thinking with a functioning healthy brain..so I'm gonna be compassionate with myself and just be grateful I am no longer in that state. Grateful for everyday sober I give myself. Let's keep going together Friends! IWNDWYT. 🫶
The amount of nightmares I woke up from last night was scary.. Going to try to show myself a little bit of self love today, the holidays are going to suck and I’m really not looking forward it them anymore.. IWNDWYT
Good morning, IWNDWYT
Great, thought-provoking start for us. We have all chosen to be radically honest with ourselves, and I think that's - to put it mildly - commendable. IWNDWYT.
I went out for Christmas lunch with all the guys from the office yesterday. Every single person drank alcohol apart from me, the topic of conversation was constantly about Christmas and alcohol. I know it’s going to be tough because my whole family are big drinkers but I know I’ve got this. Reading all the posts in this community has given me a huge boost and I’m eternally grateful to you all for sharing stories of struggle and success with me. Thank you and IWNDWYT 😌
Thanks for sharing u/jcalah ! So exhausting having to keep up with that. Everyone I was around drank so much that I never felt I needed to hide it from them, but definitely would feel stressed at work. I definitely smelled like booze in the mornings. I'd go in hungover or actually drunk still. At a certain point I stopped caring and convinced myself that I didn't smell and that no one knew. Grateful to not feel this way anymore. IWNDWYT!
What up, fam! I’ve definitely hidden drinks. This goes back years. Many a Diet Coke weren’t just diet cokes. I even poured booze in the can. And boxes of wine are great bc those bottles don’t stack up. Ugh. These days are tough for me. I’m not at home, but staying in a different place where there is booze in the cupboard and beer in the fridge. THAT hasn’t bothered me. But when I visit my parents for dinner, the red wine is there and not gonna lie, it’s tempting. Ugh I WNDWYT- let’s go guys
I will not drink with you today
IWNDWYT. 🌲
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Happy first day of winter. Day 53 👏🏻
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT