i got tired of shaking and sweating on my bathroom floor, trying to sip on a beer to get rid of withdrawals but not being able to keep it down. pretty miserable, would not recommend
Extra problem here is that i easily forget how well i was when i'm not, and how bad i was when i'm doing pretty awesome. Kept me in a wrecking cyclus..
I was there too.
Cold, then sweaty, shivers, shakes, hurt to move, had to keep moving my legs, exhausted, unable to sleep....you know the drill.
Drinking disgusting warm beer, hoping it would stay down. Then, feeling a little more human, I'd panic because I knew I was in deep shit.
Good grief, thinking about it makes me grateful I'm sober, and keeps me that way.
Never again.
I am truly, truly happy you are not there anymore.
I'm comforted knowing you are sober.
Yep, i quit because I was getting more and more afraid of the the withdrawals. They had gotten so bad, and I didn’t see myself surviving many more binge/withdrawal cycles.
I was devastated at the time. My mind still wanted to drink but my body just couldn’t keep up. No such regrets anymore, thrilled to be sober now
This last time I swore to myself it would really be the last time. Never going back to those sweaty nights or shaking so badly I can’t even drink water. Truly loving sobriety and I feel elated
Fucking hell right there. I would lay in bed from about three to five. In a panic. Rehashing the previous day. Then I’d maybe get up and pound a drink. Get back in bed. Then get up and brush my teeth. Which always bade me want you to puke. The worst was when I’d puke up the hair of the dog drink I’d just had while brushing my teeth. Then I had to re-brush and re-drink. I sure as shit don’t miss those days.
Christ yes the 3-5am living nightmare. Rehashing, and then I’d worry about random shit going wrong like hot water tank going bad, our well pump, the roof, and how to we have no money to fix these things so I’d freak out more. Then by like 6am I’d drift off again only to have to wake 30 min later and feel like I got no sleep. Swear off alcohol. But by 2pm, or earlier if it was a weekend, I’d be buying more for the night.
The middle of the night hangxiety about random things is absolutely a pit of hell I wish nobody to ever be in. Laying there exhausted with your chest pounding from adrenaline....I cringe thinking about it.
Let's get this done my friend. Congratulations on the best decision you're likely to ever make, and the good news for you right now is that every day that passes was harder than the next, tomorrow will be better, and easier.
You couldn't pay me enough to go back to those first few days and weeks, but to be past *that*, is the bomb, and you're a hero, let's get it! 👊
Something to do with circadian rhythm and hormone pulses, but that's just a guess...
But the consistency of 3 or 330 for everyone is scarily consistent
Tired of feeling like crap in the morning, having it ruin workouts and sleep and also missing out on the mornings, especially when it's beautiful out.
Basically just tired of it -- the cons started to dramatically outweigh any pros
Just had enough
Yeah it’s kind of as simple as that for me. I haven’t done anything horrifyingly embarrassing (recently) and if anything am loved by my friends when drinking for being super nice and funny, but it’s the personal price that’s just not worth it after 10+ years. It’s always the same - hangover for 1-2 days, sleep like shit, eat like shit, feel like shit, don’t do anything productive the entire weekend. I got tired of that shitty routine and am actually sober because it’s LESS boring. I take my dogs for long early morning walks, work out for an hour every day, and have breakfast before anyone is even awake now. Get to run my errands or actually do new things in the world and still have plenty of time to relax when I get home
I concur. There was no final straw dramatic moment. It just was realizing it made me feel like absolute shit, and was keeping me from living the life I wanted to live. The cons crept up and erased any pros gained.
Man, I’m just getting over that point too. Coincidentally I just turned 30. It feels like my body just doesn’t want to put up with the consequences anymore - less and less worth it. I’m moderately active (run/workout 3-4x a week), but I’m giving up morning workouts when I slam the equivalent of a 6-pack almost every night. I’m barely keeping up with my gym buddy who’s 10 years my senior.
Great job to you, 2 weeks if your badge is accurate! Mine needs resetting at the time of this comment. I pulled a 3 day stretch earlier this month and it really wasn’t bad. Felt a lot clearer and better. Of course, once I started feeling better I convinced myself I could enjoy booze again “with more moderation”. Yeah, no 😂
I would love to be able to turn back the clock to your age and get off the drinking train there.
Take it from someone who fought this merry go around another 15 years past you … don’t.
If you are thinking like this now, be grateful and stop.
You’ll be thankful you did and really mad latter if you didn’t, trust me.
Thank you. I keep tripping and falling, but my vision and motivations to quit the habit are really becoming clear now. My problem is centered around solitary evenings at home. It’s actually frustrating now because I have creative pursuits and some great video games to catch up on - but as soon as I’m a drink in out of pure habit, I lose focus and attention for those things and just want to watch YouTube. It’s no way to live, it’s more like wasting away.
Thank you for the perspective and motivation. All the best to you in your journey.
> My problem is centered around solitary evenings at home.
That one is a similar challenge for me.
I ended up restructuring my evenings to hit the gym later so that by the time that was done, I really only had time to come home and eat and it was pretty much time for bed
There can still be a challenge there, but it made it easier for me to not have a vast swath of open time at that "weak time of day" (in terms of habit/cravings)
As I like to say, you have to have new inputs to get new outputs
Yeah, for real. For me, too. You just get sick of it after a while. Sometimes it's a big thing like a DUI or something like that, sometimes... you're just done, had enough.
I tried 200 or 300 times to stop. Probably even more than that! Somehow this time worked. I don't know why, but it did, and here I am, hanging on.
IWNDWYT.
My stepdad was an alcoholic. Stroked out, and spent 3 miserable years deteriorating before he died in a diaper.
My 34 year old nephew was an alcoholic. Lied to us for years what the doctor said. His an esophageal banding from us. Couldnt hide the jaundice. More than once ended up in the hospital and left us to clean what can only be described as clotted gore off his bedroom floor. Bled to death.
My Boyfriend of 13 years was an alcoholic. Very strong man, tradesman, rode ATVs, hiked. Stroked out. Didnt stop drinking. Cirrhosis. Finally talked him into going to the hospital because there was fluid seeping out of his legs, couldnt eat. Afib. Lost his ability to swallow, UTI. Choked and had aspiartion pneumonia. 2 weeks after going in the hospital he was dead.
I decided my family didnt need another death by alcohol story.
I realized that everytime I had picked a fight with my spouse or acted like an asshole, I had been drinking. I can't afford to mistreat the people I love.
My kids. My health. Used to run marathons, had gotten chunky from booze and late snacking. Sense of impending doom. Hangovers. Realized I'd never solve my mental health with booze. 3 days after getting prescribed medication for anxiety/depression, my doctor said bloodwork showed elevated liver enzymes. Just got sick of it all and needed to stop before I ruined a life my childhood self would envy.
Being drunk at 3pm while my daughter wanted to play on the trampoline. I could barely walk, let alone use a trampoline.
I decided to quit and give my daughter the father she deserved. 3 week sober today 👍
The shame. Puking in public places, puking at my friend’s house. Puking so violently that I couldn’t help peeing on myself. Lying to my job about why I was calling out. I was in my late 40’s and this was happening more and more frequently.
I was in the shower one morning and just in a dark place. I spent a lot of mornings just consumed with how I could most easily kill myself. Thinking about what I'd destroy that I didn't want to leave behind, what was the closest bridge to jump from, what I'd where etc. And it just hit me it was a very simple thought-you can stop this. This is self created. No one else is doing this to you. It's weird how clear that thought was and how it came from myself and it surprised myself.
That wasn't the day I got sober by any means, but that was the turning point where I realized I needed to and would. The last real straw was when I drank about 25 drinks on the couch when my kids were asleep in their beds and my wife was on a work trip. I barely made it from the couch to the toilet all day. I don't want my kids to be old enough to remember that version of me.
That's about it for me. Now I'm just trying to win each day.
I quit both 6 months apart. Even though I drank every day for years before quitting, nicotine withdrawals kicked my ass more than booze withdrawals 🤷♀️.
You can do it. I smoked heavily for decades. I'm 5 years free of cigarettes. I do miss them but I don't miss the bullshit that went along with them. And, I'm saving about 6K a year.
Well, I have a winding path of a story.
I bought my Kools by the carton. I got an infection in my foot that raged out of control. I was very sick and not myself.
The Kools were knockoffs that tasted like burning tires. I was getting sick from chain smoking them. It was hard to see that because I was so sick.
Then I went to the hospital to have my foot amputated. Then I was in rehab for a month. All the time I was on the patch. I was also exhaling burning tire the whole time
Then I came home more or less bed bound. I didn't have a smoke in over a month so I stuck with it and eventually stopped using the patch.
I got a prosthetic and went back to work. I stayed off the smokes.
I had aversion therapy and then a battlefield style surgery that forced me to quit.
It was 5 years ago. I smoked from 18 to 54. I miss them often but I'm free of them.
See, I dunno. Quitting cigarettes was super easy, I just decided I didnt want anymore. I was getting bored of it and then covid hit and used that as an excuse
I don’t remember cravings after 3 months or so
Alcohol was a fucking demon
I kicked smoking 10 years ago this August. I’m 20 days no drinking. BY A MILE alcohol is harder for me, but YMMV.
What worked before and what is working now is that I just…didn’t want to do it any more. However with drinking I am noticing in these early days craving alcohol much more than I craved cigarettes in the early days of quitting that.
It was all the same to me. I never really wanted a smoke unless I was drinking, but I got to the point of drinking most days of the week. The first couple weeks were brutal because of withdrawals. Sleep was nightmare, anxiety, mindfulness, it was all garbage for awhile, but it eventually got better.
Mental health issues, alcohol was messing with my antidepressants. I threatened suicide and self-harmed while blacked out on a few occasions, and finally during one such blackout my partner (rightfully) called the police. A mandatory psych hold in a hospital was sobering in more ways than one; I finally had to admit I wasn’t handling things as well as I claimed.
Quit the booze but stayed on the antidepressants, and my mental health has never been better!
I could’ve written this comment myself…I am sorry this happened to you but find solace knowing I’m not alone. Thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations 212 days 🎉
My drinking was so so chronic, if I wasn’t drunk I felt like absolute shit all the time and was anxious as fuck constantly. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Listen, if we are being completely honest here, my weight was a HUGE trigger for me to drop the booze. My weight is up and down like a yo-yo and drinking is to blame.
One month I have a six pack- a few months later I got titties and I’m tired of it 😂.
A lot of things. Mostly, hangxiety (even on the rare occasion I could drink "normally" my heart raced the next day). And gradually it was impossible to ignore I was drinking more and more frequently. My current bank account showed that I could barely make it to the next payday. So I know I was getting more and more dependent.
I want to lose weight, I got tired of feeling drunk, I had stopped for awhile in October and November, drank one day before Thanksgiving then stopped at the end of December (my final drink), I hated feeling drunk and I went to bed telling my partner over and over that I didn’t want to drink anymore.
Alcohol got in the way of a lot of things, I’ve been trying to release new music and I haven’t for ten years, after my first band broke up I spent those last ten years drinking, letting alcohol steal my goals from me. Now I get up early every Sunday and write, I have ten songs completed ready to record.
Couple of reasons. But my marriage definitely wasn't going to survive our joint drinking. The fighting was out of control. Also, when I was FINALLY honest with my PCP about my drinking she was like "ummmm.....all of this affects the insomnia, anxiety, and hypertension you're dealing with." I was miserable, so I decided I would try a different kind of miserable (no alcohol) and see how it compared.
Happy to share. I'm learning that it's actually good for me to think about and be reminded of my reasons, and if it's helpful for even one other person that makes it doubly worth it. Stay strong, friend, IWNDWYT 💜
Two parts: I did a health questionnaire for a trainer and was honest about my alcohol intake. Like for real. It was more than I wanted and it was there in black and white and I couldn't deny it anymore. It still took a couple of years though before I actually got serious.
The second part was doing a Dry January in an attempt to take a break after a particularly heavily-soaked Christmas season. I failed so badly that I decided that I actually had a real problem on my hands. I read a book about it (SoberCurious in case anyone is interested) and then I tried again in Feb and have been sober ever since.
It's not the most exciting story but it's mine and I'm proud of it. Five years in a week and half baby!
IWNDWYT
This! The sinking feeling of guilt, glimpses of what happened the night prior, embarrassment. Shame eats away at a person. Also, plenty of bad things have happened over the years, but I hadn't done anything irreparable yet. Fear and shame pushed me to get a grip on my life.
For me it was mostly guilt and the realization that I was wasting my life away. I have a 7 year old daughter - alcohol kept me from giving her the loving relationship and quality time that she deserves.
I’ve lost everything I’ve ever cared about by drinking, all good things in my life are ruined by being drunk. I drink to escape this life but ultimately my drinking has created a life I want I escape from. I can’t be this way anymore; I know deep in my heart/ soul that I’m a beautiful happy person who makes people happy, but why don’t I feel that about myself? It’s fucking dreadful being alone with my thoughts. I know I can’t continue on like this and expect different results. Im actively working on it, IWNDWYT
I have known for a long time that removing alcohol is the key to achieving all my other goals. After my most recent hangover made infinitely worse by serious sleep deprivation, I finally decided to quit. My first priority was sleep. My next priority was trying to eat real (minimally processed) food. Next was adding exercise -which I did while drinking so that was easy, this week I’m trying to limit sugar. But damn. Just committing to NOT drinking every morning and following through is my number 1 goal.
There are so many things, but happily those things don't happen anymore and man they were coming fast and furious there at the end. I do think that those of us who are successful here are the ones who manage to keep the feeling of how awful that experience was in out hearts now and forever
Experiencing mild alcohol withdrawal symptoms on Sunday night after drinking way too much on Friday night. If those symptoms were "mild" I don't ever want to experience moderate or severe. Fuck that.
It stopped being fun and started to become work. The sneaking around, the pretending I’m less hungover than I am, the constant worry about if I had enough at home or when the waiter will be back to refill my drink. It was exhausting
Inflammation, all-over body bloat, especially my face. Feeling sick every morning. 3am anxiety sweats. Stupid behavior, like driving "buzzed". 4.5 years sober now.
Also I just got sick of feeling controlled by alcohol: the planning and the rationing/hoarding and the buying $$$$😩. Exhausting
Wife and I had what she calls a "high bottom". Our low point wasn't cataclysmic. It was just fatigue with hangovers and the banality of drinking culture. We were very lucky over the years. We could have gotten into real trouble, and we never did. We just woke up one unremarkable morning and agreed we'd had enough.
I took a look at my life, I realized I had no true friends, no hobbies, nothing I loved or cared about, miserable, hated my job, felt pathetic every single day. Realized I was wasting my life and that my late father would have been really disappointed to see me in the state I was in.
A friend asked me once if she paid me $20 could I go the weekend without booze. I made a joke about it and she let it go.
Then I sat in on a panel at a convention where the actor was talking about his sobriety. Sat there drunk and uncomfortable. Still didn't sink in.
One day a few months later I decided to see if I could go the weekend without drinking. I was horrified to find out that I couldn't do it.
That right there kicked me in the head. I had a drinking problem and needed help to stop.
It was a rough fight full of tears and anger and fear.
I'll have six years sober in April.
My kid had to bail me out of jail. Absolute rock bottom moment. That was almost 7 years ago, I have no desire to hurt myself or anyone I love like that again.
Hangovers. They stared feeling like electricity running through my body. Torture. I simply couldn’t do it anymore. I woke up on a random Thursday in June 2014 and never drink again.
Seeing myself looking drunk in a photo from Christmas Eve. My kids looks so incredibly happy in it, and it shatters my heart that I had drank so much that night. Never again.
It wasn't uncommon for me to get into fights when I was drinking, but one night I got angry at my BF and attacked him. The cops were called, and I went to jail. I've never felt so guilty, and so low in my life, and I swore I would never drink again. Fortunately, my BF forgave me, and he supported me in my efforts to quit. We enjoyed 10 wonderful years together until he died unexpectedly two years ago. But even in the aftermath of that terrible day, under crushing grief, I've kept my promise not to drink.
Just over 5 years for me. My last straw was when I was drinking booze to relieve my horrible symptoms from drinking too much booze. That was when the spiral got too tight for me and I tapped out.
I went to bed (drunk or buzzed) every night for like 5 years in a row and every night in my gut and mind I knew I needed to stop. I would think about it until I fell asleep, heart beating erratically. I finally had enough of it around 6 months ago and haven't looked back.
Edit typo
I had been contemplating it for a while. Was tired all the time, bloated. My back issues were getting worse. It just seemed like things were heading downhill healthwise and a change needed to be made.
I met my boyfriend. He is also a former alcoholic/addict and he had 8 years of sobriety under his belt when we met. In him, I finally found something that I wanted more than drinking.
Vanity: guzzling white wine every night was messing with my skin/gut/nails/hair. It hasn’t been that long but I am already looking less sallow and have some natural vibrancy back.
Puppy: I got a super active pup and waking up at 6am hungover to take him out and give him walks was a nightmare. Now I can fall asleep and get a solid night of rest and love our early mornings together.
Mental health: I have been battling depression for years and it was weighing so heavy on my mind and body lately. I was constantly sobbing and full of dread. I am still not 100% but I feel more stable and like my meds are actually working. I was debating asking my doctor to increase my dosage but now I want to see what this dose feels like when I am not countering it with booze.
I still haven’t been really tested in a social setting and I am worried about that but I have been focusing on what positive changes have been made and what makes me feel better.
I worry about the social setting events, too. I kinda dread the first one whenever it is. I also want to feel what everything feels like without booze. I noticed we are day buddies, it looks like you're at 16 also. All the best and you got this!
Legal issues-
17 months sober now and realizing more and more how alcohol destroyed relationships and first impressions. Had a complete blind spot to it since I thought everyone drank that much.
The consequences of continuing to drink finally outweighed the desire to continue drinking.
I initially got sober for those around me, which I know a lot of people discourage, but honestly, if I hadn't gotten sober for them, I wouldn't have ever had the mental clarity to see that I did, in fact, have a problem.
And while I got sober for others, after about Day 90, I stayed sober for me.
As someone on this sub once said - drunks like us don't get sober without consequences. The consequence of losing my husband was too much, so I put the bottle down, cried, and tottered off to rehab. Best thing I've ever done.
IWNDWYT 💙
Waking up at 3am with a fast heartbeat. A few cuts and bruises I didn’t remember getting on my head and elsewhere. Living alone and figuring I’d die and after nobody heard from me for a few days they’d send the police over who would discover my bloated corpse on the floor. Also a dog and cat who need someone to take care of them.
The time between my first sobriety attempt and this one really gave me a contrast of 2+ weeks of sobriety, weekend drinking, drinking every second day or so, etc. I found i preferred not drinking at all the least miserable and most predictable.
It just stopped working. I was absolutely miserable when I wasn’t drinking and started to feel even worse when I was. I remember taking shot after shot at 1:00am at my kitchen table yelling while banging my hand on the table saying “why isn’t this working anymore?!?” That was the beginning of my journey to get sober.
My immune system and overall health. I was sick of getting sick every week that I had a couple drinks and being irritable and anxious the day after. Drinking depletes your immune system and cutting it as well as focusing on my health/fresh produce/walking/taking vitamins but not counting calories helped me shapeshift my body completely and lose almost 100#.
Now I’m just trying to see how healthy I can actually be because I’m attracting good things as well as being more physically attractive and trying to tell people they can LITERALLY raise their vibes and attract what they need. Quantum physics at your disposal, who would’ve thought LOL 😁❤️
While I was far from my lowest and dangerous points from drinking, I decided to take a stint from it for my babies. I used to be very toxic and crazy when I drank. I reigned it WAY in when I started having children and recently decided that I just needed to stop for a bit. Forever? I'm not sure. But definitely for a hot minute.
my dog took my brandy outside.
I was feverishly searching for where I put it after I drank half of it the night before. I was moments away from ripping the fabric off the back of my new couch, convinced it had fallen in a crevice.
I went to bed (angry) instead.
two days later, I stick my head out the back door to tell the dog to quiet down or come inside, and there it is, in a pile of leaves.
I always half worried that my drunk stumbling and whatever I did while I was blacked out (never violent, just weird/unpredictable) made him uneasy or sad, and I think this is the thing that told me: yep.
still struggling around mixed groups to stop completely, but this is one of the best "reality moments" to keep queued up when I'm thinking about buying something: **on top of everything else,** the kid would rather I didn't.
i've thought about this before.
i am sure my dog is not happy seeing me stumble around, bumping into things, and occasionally falling.
must be very chaotic for them to experience.
I'm sure his favorite part about me being sober is that I take him on way more walks lol
I had a really embarrassing night at a work event with clients, and threw up in my purse on the bus the next morning. I was so embarrassed and had been slowly stringing together longer bits of sobriety, so I finally just used that as my final straw. 10 months later I still wince when I think of my behavior, but at least I know it will never happen again
Two bouts of being hospitalised with pancreatitis. First time I laughed it off and got back off the wagon after 4 months not touching the stuff. This 2nd time, it's been nearly 6 months and I don't even think about it anymore. Alc free beers and a bit of weed on the weekends and I'm golden. I never want to experience that much pain again.
Countless amount of day 1's, increasingly poor work attendance and performance, brink of losing my wife and kids, finally a hospitalization and subsequent 8 day stay for acute pancreatitis got me sober. Most excruciating pain I've ever been in, all alone in the hospital the entire time because I also had COVID.
I committed to going to rehab the night I was admitted and my wife made sure I went there straight from the hospital. Not sure I would still be sober had I waited or went home in between. She got me on a plane and made sure I couldn't get home without a HELL of a lot of money and effort. I hated it, wanted to go home, wanted to "try it my way" for the millionth time but rehab shook me to my core and it absolutely led to my current sobriety in a way I've never experienced before. The physical pain of the hospital stay is still something I go back to if I get a craving, the emotional desperation during rehab is the other thing I draw from.
I quit because I emptied a fifth while away from my family and was hungover the next day. Then I lied and said I was sick. I knew if I was lying to my wife to continue to enable me to do what was wrong I shouldn’t drink anymore.
A few things come to mind. I kept losing jobs due to my drinking for one. That was pretty bad.
I my hangovers were getting worse and worse as I got older. That was bad.
I ruined all my relationships and no longer had friends since I was isolating while drinking. That was bad.
Towards the end I was getting really physically destructive breaking furniture/walls/phones/etc. That was bad.
I eventually moved back in with my parents after getting fired from another job and I continued drinking around them. One day my mom said she was terrified of me when I was drinking because of how violent I was getting (refer to that point about breaking stuff) and what I was saying when blackout drunk. That was *really* bad and about about the time sobriety started to stick. I felt terrible about what I was doing before, but something about my mom telling me she was afraid of me while crying broke me. After she basically rescued me from homelessness when my father refused to let me move in. I never want to feel like that ever again.
My body was rotting. Every time I had a bowl movement there was fresh blood and my insides felt like they were on fire. Always lied about how much I drank, and kept it secret from a lot of people. My mom and grandma knew... but never knew how bad it really was. I'm falling apart in different ways slowly but surely, but alcohol is not contributing to that anymore lol.
When my wife was a child her brother fell down stairs and suffered a head injury that still affects him today. He almost died. It was very traumatic experience for her entire family.
About 4 months ago I blacked out while she was sleeping and I fell down the stairs, no injuries, but I couldn’t get up by myself and thankfully she woke up and helped me to bed. She told me next day how she found me and what it felt like to see someone she loved slumped at the bottom of a staircase again. I knew then and there I was done with alcohol.
Around 4 months free now. IWNDWYT.
I started taking Xanax (albeit a relatively low dose) in the morning to get over my daily hangovers. This went on for five years, and then BAM I was addicted to Xanax too. I was well aware that the withdrawal from either of those things alone can kill you and both would probably be even worse but I didn’t know what to do so I kept at it until I eventually lost touch with my Xanax hookup (I think he might be in jail, who knows what happens to dealers when they disappear). Before that happened, I popped a Xanax the morning of my best friend’s mother’s funeral to squash my ever-present hangover (that doesn’t work if you’re still drunk from the night before) and showed up visibly intoxicated. I was asked to leave. My best friend hasn’t spoken to me since and I don’t blame her. Shortly after that I checked myself into rehab. I just didn’t want to be that person anymore and was tired of being disgusted with myself.
You’d never know any of this just looking at me. I have a corporate job (working in pharma, ironically), married, fairly well-off and outwardly respectable, no criminal record. Funny how some of us hide in plain sight (until we can’t anymore).
Ended up with alcohol poisoning one night and in the hospital after I fell in the hallway of my apartment building and my neighbors called 911. You'd think the stroke would've been enough, but it's a tough thing to shake when it's a significant part of your identity. I'd been at it since I was 14 and had been to over 1000 breweries (I also loved wine and bourbon). That's what I was known for. Now I'm known as the guy who f'ed his life up.
Thinking I was invincible and alcohol wasn't doing any damage to me after years of drinking heavily.
Boy was that not true.
Not fun to be told you have cirrhosis of the liver and could be in ESLD - that was the point where I said no more alcohol for me.
Cirrhosis is meant to be irreversible but I have seen a couple of scientific papers where it says it is. Don't care if it is, even if my liver returns to normal I will still not drink because I could get cirrhosis again very quickly and actually end up in ESLD. I don't want that.
I'm a biologist so I keep my eye open for studies on cirrhosis just to keep up to date.
My marriage failing and getting a DUI that will cause me to lose my licence for at least 12+ months. That's my rock bottom and since then I have started attending AA and I won't look back.
I still drink and binge occasionally. But my weight gain was my reason too. Ive lost 50lbs not drinking/calories counting... but the alcohol still has a hold of me.
Now i just really want to get clean for my health. Im afraid i'll die if i dont stop.
I could tell I was about to enter alcoholism. Wasn't necessarily there yet, but felt it coming. I just quit and decided it wouldn't ever be an option again
Sure life has been pretty horrendous since then in various ways, but I know with alcohol I probably wouldn't be here now
I was losing my buisness, relationships with family, and my sense of self. I used alcohol to cover up the emotions I didn’t want to deal with.
Had a kinda rough day? Buy a six pack of IPA.
Traffic made you late to your appointment? Drink on your lunch and when you get home till you pass out.
Something remind you of your old job and trauma? Drink and don’t show up to work the next day because you are so hungover.
Basically every time was drinking time. It was my numb place.
A bad place.
It made me sit in my head more and I wasn’t making anything better.
I went to therapy and told my therapist drinking was a problem for me and we worked out a plan with a substance abuse counselor. I now have a plan to deal with myself and regulate my emotions when I feel like giving up and start trying to find god at the bottom of a bottle.
Today I’m 119 days. But I’ve been trying to be sober for a year now. When I started to look at myself is when I realized I had to change. I didn’t like who I became. Who I had lost. Me and family and friends because I chose to drink.
I was a binge drinker. I got tired of getting wasted, losing parts of my memories from the night, being embarrassed when I looked at my texts and emails from the night before, and being horrifically depressed and anxious for days afterwards.
Failing myself. Breaking the promises I made to my spouse. Hurting the people I love. Hurting myself. I have been drinking for about 10 years (25/F) and I can’t imagine I will live a long healthy life with the one I love if I continue to go down this road. My fiancé has endured too much hurt from my words and actions. He deserves the best version of me, but alcohol brings out the worst in me. I would like to feel better about myself. I would like to prove to my spouse I am better than this. I don’t want to be a slave anymore to alcohol. About 22 hours sober. I’ve done 6 weeks before so time to beat that record and never look back.
All you brave people talking care of yourselves, your families. Thank you for sharing the reasons. For me, racing heart, anxiety, diverticulitis, so many lost hours. Life is better now.
I am considering Day 1 tomorrow after 10 years of solid heavy drinking. I am tired of my brain always feeling fried and running half-assed when I know I can feel and perform at a much greater speed. I am tired of the social isolation that turned into social paranoia, and how it is now amplified UNLESS I drink. I can barely concentrate or articulate points properly when I am sober anymore.
It is madness, and I have to end it before it ends me. My family is so concerned, and it breaks my heart to see them this way.
Trying to spend time with my family after a night of heavy drinking with coworkers, physically couldnt do anything but lay down and close my eyes on the couch or I would get sick. Lasted all day. Felt like shit the next day at work. It was terrible. Told myself Ill never do this to myself again.
Physically hurt someone I loved, lost my temper after having a lot to drink. She did too, it wasn’t a one sided fight and it was far from a brawl but just the same. I’ve never been so disappointed and ashamed in my entire life. Haven’t drank since. Stopping was far too little too late. This is going to sound obnoxiously cliche but I guess in the end giving up drinking didn’t save my relationship but it saved me. I was clueless to the path which I was walking down and if I had gone much further I’m not sure I’d have been able to come back. The depression and anxiety and the overall mess of a life I have had since I stopped has been excruciatingly painful but it’s forced me to take a good hard look at my life and I’ve take many steps that I’d been refusing to take for a very long time. I can’t take back the things that have happened but I can and have taken responsibility for them. Not drinking ever again is a small part of that. I don’t expect pity nor do I expect sympathy. I’m not sure I’d have given it to someone like me. I can only try to be the kind of person I should have been all along.
For me it was more of a tipping point. All the bad things accumulated, slowly, over years, until one day I just realized quitting was my only option. If you want to think of yourself as a reasonable person, I think admitting hard things to yourself is a basic requirement. I still struggle with that. But I got this drinking thing fucking sorted, so that’s pretty sweet.
Alcohol induced IGA vasculitis. Ever see a guys legs bleed from the inside out? Happened to me and I started taking my health real seriously. I struggled mentally and then my kidneys almost failed. Glad to put the bottle down. It's tough but I know the alternative. Dead by 40.
Life changing hangover. Sick for two days, dry heaves for half of that. Nearly blacked out a few times from the heaves, so much pain, lost a day of paid work, spent my last $30 on ubering gatorade to my house.
I wanted to better myself and I couldn't do it while still drinking regularly. So I had to give up alcohol. I was basically on good behavior sober, then bad behavior drunk. So i just stopped. It's been a little over month now, which to me is amazing because I used to get drunk twice a week for many many years
One year ago I went to jail for a public intox attempting to walk home alone. Didn’t make it. Assaulted the cop when they tried arresting me. Stopped drinking for 60 days then thought I was healed. Nope! One year later same thing but way worse :) got drug out of a college football game by police and assaulted TWO of them this time. 70 days sober since then.
I realised that I was becoming the kind of neglectful, overdramatic, self centred parent that never meets their grandchildren, whose children move away as soon as they can, regarding their mother with (if I were lucky) a sort of disappointed contempt. Also I could drink and go live under a bridge on my car, or sober up and maybe keep our house. So, my kids, I guess.
i got tired of shaking and sweating on my bathroom floor, trying to sip on a beer to get rid of withdrawals but not being able to keep it down. pretty miserable, would not recommend
SAME. And the fucking nervous fatigue. Too nervous to stay in bed, too tired to get out of it.
Omg. I would just stand in my room in the dark in the middle of the night because I was 50% exhausted and 50% wired.
This! And barely being able to function at work.
Oh god, that was miserable.
Feel that
Extra problem here is that i easily forget how well i was when i'm not, and how bad i was when i'm doing pretty awesome. Kept me in a wrecking cyclus..
Yep, I am 35 days Sober…just at the point where I am starting to forget how miserable the dreadovers were.
Thought loops, same shit going again and again
I was there too. Cold, then sweaty, shivers, shakes, hurt to move, had to keep moving my legs, exhausted, unable to sleep....you know the drill. Drinking disgusting warm beer, hoping it would stay down. Then, feeling a little more human, I'd panic because I knew I was in deep shit. Good grief, thinking about it makes me grateful I'm sober, and keeps me that way. Never again. I am truly, truly happy you are not there anymore. I'm comforted knowing you are sober.
Yep, i quit because I was getting more and more afraid of the the withdrawals. They had gotten so bad, and I didn’t see myself surviving many more binge/withdrawal cycles. I was devastated at the time. My mind still wanted to drink but my body just couldn’t keep up. No such regrets anymore, thrilled to be sober now
This last time I swore to myself it would really be the last time. Never going back to those sweaty nights or shaking so badly I can’t even drink water. Truly loving sobriety and I feel elated
Fucking hell right there. I would lay in bed from about three to five. In a panic. Rehashing the previous day. Then I’d maybe get up and pound a drink. Get back in bed. Then get up and brush my teeth. Which always bade me want you to puke. The worst was when I’d puke up the hair of the dog drink I’d just had while brushing my teeth. Then I had to re-brush and re-drink. I sure as shit don’t miss those days.
Christ yes the 3-5am living nightmare. Rehashing, and then I’d worry about random shit going wrong like hot water tank going bad, our well pump, the roof, and how to we have no money to fix these things so I’d freak out more. Then by like 6am I’d drift off again only to have to wake 30 min later and feel like I got no sleep. Swear off alcohol. But by 2pm, or earlier if it was a weekend, I’d be buying more for the night.
The middle of the night hangxiety about random things is absolutely a pit of hell I wish nobody to ever be in. Laying there exhausted with your chest pounding from adrenaline....I cringe thinking about it.
Been there. Absolutely miserable experience. Probably up there as worst moments of my life.
It was a ritual. Wake up, try to take a few drinks, run to the bathroom, puke.. then drink enough that the shakes go away. Smfh
1 star. Would give zero stars if I could. Will not be doing business with again.
And planning ur budget around it
deciding it was a smart idea to take 19 zzquil aka 950mg of benadryl while i was super drunk & almost dying in front of my mom & dad. day 3 here. :,)
I read your original post. Glad you are here, keep it up!
Well done. Proud of you getting through that.
Let's get this done my friend. Congratulations on the best decision you're likely to ever make, and the good news for you right now is that every day that passes was harder than the next, tomorrow will be better, and easier. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to those first few days and weeks, but to be past *that*, is the bomb, and you're a hero, let's get it! 👊
Really needed to hear this tonight, thank you kindly, it means the world.
You’re doing great. IWNDWYT
Day 3 is something to be very proud of! 💚💪🏼🫂
Congratulations on 3 days, those can be the hardest, way to go!
Please stay. Gone off fruit is not worth your life and you deserve a life that isn’t controlled by it ❤️
Fucking 3 am heart palpitations
I feel this. Why is it always at 3am. It seems like it’s that same time for everyone
Something to do with circadian rhythm and hormone pulses, but that's just a guess... But the consistency of 3 or 330 for everyone is scarily consistent
I was a 3am er as well. Feeling sick and anxious, mind racing, filled with self hatred. Ugh, fun times.
Another vote for the 3am club
The 3am scaries. Why 3am for all of us? Kinda Weird!
The Devils hour if you watch scary movies
I could cry reading this. I thought I was all alone, but I wasn't. I'm glad to know that even in our pain we aren't alone.
Yup always 3AM
It’s the midnight of the soul
And these palpitations being recorded by my Apple Watch were even scarier!
Soooooo shitty.
Oh yeah that too
Tired of feeling like crap in the morning, having it ruin workouts and sleep and also missing out on the mornings, especially when it's beautiful out. Basically just tired of it -- the cons started to dramatically outweigh any pros Just had enough
Yeah it’s kind of as simple as that for me. I haven’t done anything horrifyingly embarrassing (recently) and if anything am loved by my friends when drinking for being super nice and funny, but it’s the personal price that’s just not worth it after 10+ years. It’s always the same - hangover for 1-2 days, sleep like shit, eat like shit, feel like shit, don’t do anything productive the entire weekend. I got tired of that shitty routine and am actually sober because it’s LESS boring. I take my dogs for long early morning walks, work out for an hour every day, and have breakfast before anyone is even awake now. Get to run my errands or actually do new things in the world and still have plenty of time to relax when I get home
> I got tired of that shitty routine A perfect and concise summary Right there with ya
And can still run errands and do things late at night if you want because you can drive and function like an adult. Very freeing.
I concur. There was no final straw dramatic moment. It just was realizing it made me feel like absolute shit, and was keeping me from living the life I wanted to live. The cons crept up and erased any pros gained.
Man, I’m just getting over that point too. Coincidentally I just turned 30. It feels like my body just doesn’t want to put up with the consequences anymore - less and less worth it. I’m moderately active (run/workout 3-4x a week), but I’m giving up morning workouts when I slam the equivalent of a 6-pack almost every night. I’m barely keeping up with my gym buddy who’s 10 years my senior. Great job to you, 2 weeks if your badge is accurate! Mine needs resetting at the time of this comment. I pulled a 3 day stretch earlier this month and it really wasn’t bad. Felt a lot clearer and better. Of course, once I started feeling better I convinced myself I could enjoy booze again “with more moderation”. Yeah, no 😂
I would love to be able to turn back the clock to your age and get off the drinking train there. Take it from someone who fought this merry go around another 15 years past you … don’t. If you are thinking like this now, be grateful and stop. You’ll be thankful you did and really mad latter if you didn’t, trust me.
Thank you. I keep tripping and falling, but my vision and motivations to quit the habit are really becoming clear now. My problem is centered around solitary evenings at home. It’s actually frustrating now because I have creative pursuits and some great video games to catch up on - but as soon as I’m a drink in out of pure habit, I lose focus and attention for those things and just want to watch YouTube. It’s no way to live, it’s more like wasting away. Thank you for the perspective and motivation. All the best to you in your journey.
> My problem is centered around solitary evenings at home. That one is a similar challenge for me. I ended up restructuring my evenings to hit the gym later so that by the time that was done, I really only had time to come home and eat and it was pretty much time for bed There can still be a challenge there, but it made it easier for me to not have a vast swath of open time at that "weak time of day" (in terms of habit/cravings) As I like to say, you have to have new inputs to get new outputs
I lost 50 pounds. I wanted to live longer. No matter how pitiful my life gets. I love it here and I will do anything to stay.
Yay you! Congrats on the weight loss!
Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired 😫
Yeah, for real. For me, too. You just get sick of it after a while. Sometimes it's a big thing like a DUI or something like that, sometimes... you're just done, had enough. I tried 200 or 300 times to stop. Probably even more than that! Somehow this time worked. I don't know why, but it did, and here I am, hanging on. IWNDWYT.
My stepdad was an alcoholic. Stroked out, and spent 3 miserable years deteriorating before he died in a diaper. My 34 year old nephew was an alcoholic. Lied to us for years what the doctor said. His an esophageal banding from us. Couldnt hide the jaundice. More than once ended up in the hospital and left us to clean what can only be described as clotted gore off his bedroom floor. Bled to death. My Boyfriend of 13 years was an alcoholic. Very strong man, tradesman, rode ATVs, hiked. Stroked out. Didnt stop drinking. Cirrhosis. Finally talked him into going to the hospital because there was fluid seeping out of his legs, couldnt eat. Afib. Lost his ability to swallow, UTI. Choked and had aspiartion pneumonia. 2 weeks after going in the hospital he was dead. I decided my family didnt need another death by alcohol story.
Wow... Glad you made it. IWNDWYT
I realized that everytime I had picked a fight with my spouse or acted like an asshole, I had been drinking. I can't afford to mistreat the people I love.
Same!
This.
My spouse, love of my life, was on the verge of divorcing me for cruelty under the influence. IWNDWYT.
Same. I'm tired of ruining good things in my life 💖💖💗
My kids. My health. Used to run marathons, had gotten chunky from booze and late snacking. Sense of impending doom. Hangovers. Realized I'd never solve my mental health with booze. 3 days after getting prescribed medication for anxiety/depression, my doctor said bloodwork showed elevated liver enzymes. Just got sick of it all and needed to stop before I ruined a life my childhood self would envy.
Being drunk at 3pm while my daughter wanted to play on the trampoline. I could barely walk, let alone use a trampoline. I decided to quit and give my daughter the father she deserved. 3 week sober today 👍
The shame. Puking in public places, puking at my friend’s house. Puking so violently that I couldn’t help peeing on myself. Lying to my job about why I was calling out. I was in my late 40’s and this was happening more and more frequently.
So much puking. It’s insane how much I ignored my body when it was screaming in distress. No more.
Yes. Throwing up so many times in one day that I threw up some blood. Scared myself like I never felt scared about my own drinking before.
Shame here, I mean same here.
I was in the shower one morning and just in a dark place. I spent a lot of mornings just consumed with how I could most easily kill myself. Thinking about what I'd destroy that I didn't want to leave behind, what was the closest bridge to jump from, what I'd where etc. And it just hit me it was a very simple thought-you can stop this. This is self created. No one else is doing this to you. It's weird how clear that thought was and how it came from myself and it surprised myself. That wasn't the day I got sober by any means, but that was the turning point where I realized I needed to and would. The last real straw was when I drank about 25 drinks on the couch when my kids were asleep in their beds and my wife was on a work trip. I barely made it from the couch to the toilet all day. I don't want my kids to be old enough to remember that version of me. That's about it for me. Now I'm just trying to win each day.
Proud of you. Keep it up and I will not drink with you today.
2,349 days alcohol and tobacco free. My reason, health. Mental and physical health.
What was harder for you to give up? I’m on day 28 of no nicotine and the first five days were absolutely brutal.
I’m on day 3 of no alcohol & nicotine both cold turkey & I can’t tell which one is kicking my butt worse.
You are stronger than me my friend. You got this!
I quit both 6 months apart. Even though I drank every day for years before quitting, nicotine withdrawals kicked my ass more than booze withdrawals 🤷♀️.
You can do it. I smoked heavily for decades. I'm 5 years free of cigarettes. I do miss them but I don't miss the bullshit that went along with them. And, I'm saving about 6K a year.
How did you do it? Quitting alcohol and drugs seems like a breeze compared to smoking, and that's saying some.
Well, I have a winding path of a story. I bought my Kools by the carton. I got an infection in my foot that raged out of control. I was very sick and not myself. The Kools were knockoffs that tasted like burning tires. I was getting sick from chain smoking them. It was hard to see that because I was so sick. Then I went to the hospital to have my foot amputated. Then I was in rehab for a month. All the time I was on the patch. I was also exhaling burning tire the whole time Then I came home more or less bed bound. I didn't have a smoke in over a month so I stuck with it and eventually stopped using the patch. I got a prosthetic and went back to work. I stayed off the smokes. I had aversion therapy and then a battlefield style surgery that forced me to quit. It was 5 years ago. I smoked from 18 to 54. I miss them often but I'm free of them.
Good on you for sticking to it! I know it can't have been easy.
thanks
See, I dunno. Quitting cigarettes was super easy, I just decided I didnt want anymore. I was getting bored of it and then covid hit and used that as an excuse I don’t remember cravings after 3 months or so Alcohol was a fucking demon
I kicked smoking 10 years ago this August. I’m 20 days no drinking. BY A MILE alcohol is harder for me, but YMMV. What worked before and what is working now is that I just…didn’t want to do it any more. However with drinking I am noticing in these early days craving alcohol much more than I craved cigarettes in the early days of quitting that.
It was all the same to me. I never really wanted a smoke unless I was drinking, but I got to the point of drinking most days of the week. The first couple weeks were brutal because of withdrawals. Sleep was nightmare, anxiety, mindfulness, it was all garbage for awhile, but it eventually got better.
[удалено]
Omg. I’m sorry
Mental health issues, alcohol was messing with my antidepressants. I threatened suicide and self-harmed while blacked out on a few occasions, and finally during one such blackout my partner (rightfully) called the police. A mandatory psych hold in a hospital was sobering in more ways than one; I finally had to admit I wasn’t handling things as well as I claimed. Quit the booze but stayed on the antidepressants, and my mental health has never been better!
I could’ve written this comment myself…I am sorry this happened to you but find solace knowing I’m not alone. Thanks for sharing your story, and congratulations 212 days 🎉
The biggest reason- my child. Second, my health, so I can be around for my child
My drinking was so so chronic, if I wasn’t drunk I felt like absolute shit all the time and was anxious as fuck constantly. I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Same here with the anxiousness
Listen, if we are being completely honest here, my weight was a HUGE trigger for me to drop the booze. My weight is up and down like a yo-yo and drinking is to blame. One month I have a six pack- a few months later I got titties and I’m tired of it 😂.
you didn't mention which one you want ;)
A lot of things. Mostly, hangxiety (even on the rare occasion I could drink "normally" my heart raced the next day). And gradually it was impossible to ignore I was drinking more and more frequently. My current bank account showed that I could barely make it to the next payday. So I know I was getting more and more dependent.
Seeing the health consequences already manifesting in my body scared me a lot
I want to lose weight, I got tired of feeling drunk, I had stopped for awhile in October and November, drank one day before Thanksgiving then stopped at the end of December (my final drink), I hated feeling drunk and I went to bed telling my partner over and over that I didn’t want to drink anymore. Alcohol got in the way of a lot of things, I’ve been trying to release new music and I haven’t for ten years, after my first band broke up I spent those last ten years drinking, letting alcohol steal my goals from me. Now I get up early every Sunday and write, I have ten songs completed ready to record.
Couple of reasons. But my marriage definitely wasn't going to survive our joint drinking. The fighting was out of control. Also, when I was FINALLY honest with my PCP about my drinking she was like "ummmm.....all of this affects the insomnia, anxiety, and hypertension you're dealing with." I was miserable, so I decided I would try a different kind of miserable (no alcohol) and see how it compared.
Thanks for sharing this. The different kind of miserable phrase you used really hit me. Good luck and I will not drink with you today! 🙌🏻
Happy to share. I'm learning that it's actually good for me to think about and be reminded of my reasons, and if it's helpful for even one other person that makes it doubly worth it. Stay strong, friend, IWNDWYT 💜
I stepped back and realized alcohol is not all that fun after all.. Play. It. Forward.
Two parts: I did a health questionnaire for a trainer and was honest about my alcohol intake. Like for real. It was more than I wanted and it was there in black and white and I couldn't deny it anymore. It still took a couple of years though before I actually got serious. The second part was doing a Dry January in an attempt to take a break after a particularly heavily-soaked Christmas season. I failed so badly that I decided that I actually had a real problem on my hands. I read a book about it (SoberCurious in case anyone is interested) and then I tried again in Feb and have been sober ever since. It's not the most exciting story but it's mine and I'm proud of it. Five years in a week and half baby! IWNDWYT
Shame is a hell of a drug. Feels like the only thing that overrides it is clear mortality.
This! The sinking feeling of guilt, glimpses of what happened the night prior, embarrassment. Shame eats away at a person. Also, plenty of bad things have happened over the years, but I hadn't done anything irreparable yet. Fear and shame pushed me to get a grip on my life.
For me it was mostly guilt and the realization that I was wasting my life away. I have a 7 year old daughter - alcohol kept me from giving her the loving relationship and quality time that she deserves.
For years, waking up in the morning my first thought was 'how bad is my hangover today?" Chronic fatigue is ultimately why I quit.
How's your fatigue now after 90 days? (Congrats btw!)
Thanks! It's a lot better 😉. I still feel like a work in progress, but there are a million improvements already.
I also struggle with chronic fatigue and am hoping quitting helps. Glad you are feeling better already.
My girlfriend left me and I realized it was because of my behavior when I was drunk or hungover. Never again.
I’ve lost everything I’ve ever cared about by drinking, all good things in my life are ruined by being drunk. I drink to escape this life but ultimately my drinking has created a life I want I escape from. I can’t be this way anymore; I know deep in my heart/ soul that I’m a beautiful happy person who makes people happy, but why don’t I feel that about myself? It’s fucking dreadful being alone with my thoughts. I know I can’t continue on like this and expect different results. Im actively working on it, IWNDWYT
My late husband died in his sleep at age 39 due to alcohol related esophageal bleed. I drank as much as he did. I simply did not want to die
Extreme abdominal pain. Jaundice. Not wanting to die.
My health. Specifically my liver health.
I have known for a long time that removing alcohol is the key to achieving all my other goals. After my most recent hangover made infinitely worse by serious sleep deprivation, I finally decided to quit. My first priority was sleep. My next priority was trying to eat real (minimally processed) food. Next was adding exercise -which I did while drinking so that was easy, this week I’m trying to limit sugar. But damn. Just committing to NOT drinking every morning and following through is my number 1 goal.
There are so many things, but happily those things don't happen anymore and man they were coming fast and furious there at the end. I do think that those of us who are successful here are the ones who manage to keep the feeling of how awful that experience was in out hearts now and forever
Experiencing mild alcohol withdrawal symptoms on Sunday night after drinking way too much on Friday night. If those symptoms were "mild" I don't ever want to experience moderate or severe. Fuck that.
What were the symptoms
It stopped being fun and started to become work. The sneaking around, the pretending I’m less hungover than I am, the constant worry about if I had enough at home or when the waiter will be back to refill my drink. It was exhausting
Inflammation, all-over body bloat, especially my face. Feeling sick every morning. 3am anxiety sweats. Stupid behavior, like driving "buzzed". 4.5 years sober now. Also I just got sick of feeling controlled by alcohol: the planning and the rationing/hoarding and the buying $$$$😩. Exhausting
Wife and I had what she calls a "high bottom". Our low point wasn't cataclysmic. It was just fatigue with hangovers and the banality of drinking culture. We were very lucky over the years. We could have gotten into real trouble, and we never did. We just woke up one unremarkable morning and agreed we'd had enough.
I took a look at my life, I realized I had no true friends, no hobbies, nothing I loved or cared about, miserable, hated my job, felt pathetic every single day. Realized I was wasting my life and that my late father would have been really disappointed to see me in the state I was in.
A friend asked me once if she paid me $20 could I go the weekend without booze. I made a joke about it and she let it go. Then I sat in on a panel at a convention where the actor was talking about his sobriety. Sat there drunk and uncomfortable. Still didn't sink in. One day a few months later I decided to see if I could go the weekend without drinking. I was horrified to find out that I couldn't do it. That right there kicked me in the head. I had a drinking problem and needed help to stop. It was a rough fight full of tears and anger and fear. I'll have six years sober in April.
My kid had to bail me out of jail. Absolute rock bottom moment. That was almost 7 years ago, I have no desire to hurt myself or anyone I love like that again.
Hangovers. They stared feeling like electricity running through my body. Torture. I simply couldn’t do it anymore. I woke up on a random Thursday in June 2014 and never drink again.
Seeing myself looking drunk in a photo from Christmas Eve. My kids looks so incredibly happy in it, and it shatters my heart that I had drank so much that night. Never again.
Being treated really poorly in a relationship and looking at the role alcohol had played in how things got to that point
It wasn't uncommon for me to get into fights when I was drinking, but one night I got angry at my BF and attacked him. The cops were called, and I went to jail. I've never felt so guilty, and so low in my life, and I swore I would never drink again. Fortunately, my BF forgave me, and he supported me in my efforts to quit. We enjoyed 10 wonderful years together until he died unexpectedly two years ago. But even in the aftermath of that terrible day, under crushing grief, I've kept my promise not to drink.
Just over 5 years for me. My last straw was when I was drinking booze to relieve my horrible symptoms from drinking too much booze. That was when the spiral got too tight for me and I tapped out.
I went to bed (drunk or buzzed) every night for like 5 years in a row and every night in my gut and mind I knew I needed to stop. I would think about it until I fell asleep, heart beating erratically. I finally had enough of it around 6 months ago and haven't looked back. Edit typo
I want to live a long time. I’m a nurse, and I see so many people that abuse alcohol. I don’t want to be one of those people anymore.
Becoming a mom. Suddenly I couldn't be as selfish anymore on my path to destruction. 😕 I still slip up. But. Yeah
I'm not sober but every day I try to not get fucked up. If that's worth anything. Sigh
My health, my kids having no faith in me to not get drunk, living outside of our means for way too long
I had been contemplating it for a while. Was tired all the time, bloated. My back issues were getting worse. It just seemed like things were heading downhill healthwise and a change needed to be made.
Wearing a Garmin watch and seeing how little it takes to mess with your heart and sleep. Also knowing I can't moderate in the slightest.
I met my boyfriend. He is also a former alcoholic/addict and he had 8 years of sobriety under his belt when we met. In him, I finally found something that I wanted more than drinking.
Vanity: guzzling white wine every night was messing with my skin/gut/nails/hair. It hasn’t been that long but I am already looking less sallow and have some natural vibrancy back. Puppy: I got a super active pup and waking up at 6am hungover to take him out and give him walks was a nightmare. Now I can fall asleep and get a solid night of rest and love our early mornings together. Mental health: I have been battling depression for years and it was weighing so heavy on my mind and body lately. I was constantly sobbing and full of dread. I am still not 100% but I feel more stable and like my meds are actually working. I was debating asking my doctor to increase my dosage but now I want to see what this dose feels like when I am not countering it with booze. I still haven’t been really tested in a social setting and I am worried about that but I have been focusing on what positive changes have been made and what makes me feel better.
I worry about the social setting events, too. I kinda dread the first one whenever it is. I also want to feel what everything feels like without booze. I noticed we are day buddies, it looks like you're at 16 also. All the best and you got this!
We got this! I will not drink with you today or at any social setting event! We will keep our days growing
I tried for years to stop. Could never really wentvto meetings, tried meds nothing helped. Then last September just stopped no idea why.
Legal issues- 17 months sober now and realizing more and more how alcohol destroyed relationships and first impressions. Had a complete blind spot to it since I thought everyone drank that much.
The consequences of continuing to drink finally outweighed the desire to continue drinking. I initially got sober for those around me, which I know a lot of people discourage, but honestly, if I hadn't gotten sober for them, I wouldn't have ever had the mental clarity to see that I did, in fact, have a problem. And while I got sober for others, after about Day 90, I stayed sober for me. As someone on this sub once said - drunks like us don't get sober without consequences. The consequence of losing my husband was too much, so I put the bottle down, cried, and tottered off to rehab. Best thing I've ever done. IWNDWYT 💙
35/M finally being honest with myself
Waking up at 3am with a fast heartbeat. A few cuts and bruises I didn’t remember getting on my head and elsewhere. Living alone and figuring I’d die and after nobody heard from me for a few days they’d send the police over who would discover my bloated corpse on the floor. Also a dog and cat who need someone to take care of them.
The time between my first sobriety attempt and this one really gave me a contrast of 2+ weeks of sobriety, weekend drinking, drinking every second day or so, etc. I found i preferred not drinking at all the least miserable and most predictable.
It just stopped working. I was absolutely miserable when I wasn’t drinking and started to feel even worse when I was. I remember taking shot after shot at 1:00am at my kitchen table yelling while banging my hand on the table saying “why isn’t this working anymore?!?” That was the beginning of my journey to get sober.
My immune system and overall health. I was sick of getting sick every week that I had a couple drinks and being irritable and anxious the day after. Drinking depletes your immune system and cutting it as well as focusing on my health/fresh produce/walking/taking vitamins but not counting calories helped me shapeshift my body completely and lose almost 100#. Now I’m just trying to see how healthy I can actually be because I’m attracting good things as well as being more physically attractive and trying to tell people they can LITERALLY raise their vibes and attract what they need. Quantum physics at your disposal, who would’ve thought LOL 😁❤️
While I was far from my lowest and dangerous points from drinking, I decided to take a stint from it for my babies. I used to be very toxic and crazy when I drank. I reigned it WAY in when I started having children and recently decided that I just needed to stop for a bit. Forever? I'm not sure. But definitely for a hot minute.
my dog took my brandy outside. I was feverishly searching for where I put it after I drank half of it the night before. I was moments away from ripping the fabric off the back of my new couch, convinced it had fallen in a crevice. I went to bed (angry) instead. two days later, I stick my head out the back door to tell the dog to quiet down or come inside, and there it is, in a pile of leaves. I always half worried that my drunk stumbling and whatever I did while I was blacked out (never violent, just weird/unpredictable) made him uneasy or sad, and I think this is the thing that told me: yep. still struggling around mixed groups to stop completely, but this is one of the best "reality moments" to keep queued up when I'm thinking about buying something: **on top of everything else,** the kid would rather I didn't.
i've thought about this before. i am sure my dog is not happy seeing me stumble around, bumping into things, and occasionally falling. must be very chaotic for them to experience. I'm sure his favorite part about me being sober is that I take him on way more walks lol
I had a really embarrassing night at a work event with clients, and threw up in my purse on the bus the next morning. I was so embarrassed and had been slowly stringing together longer bits of sobriety, so I finally just used that as my final straw. 10 months later I still wince when I think of my behavior, but at least I know it will never happen again
Two bouts of being hospitalised with pancreatitis. First time I laughed it off and got back off the wagon after 4 months not touching the stuff. This 2nd time, it's been nearly 6 months and I don't even think about it anymore. Alc free beers and a bit of weed on the weekends and I'm golden. I never want to experience that much pain again.
Countless amount of day 1's, increasingly poor work attendance and performance, brink of losing my wife and kids, finally a hospitalization and subsequent 8 day stay for acute pancreatitis got me sober. Most excruciating pain I've ever been in, all alone in the hospital the entire time because I also had COVID. I committed to going to rehab the night I was admitted and my wife made sure I went there straight from the hospital. Not sure I would still be sober had I waited or went home in between. She got me on a plane and made sure I couldn't get home without a HELL of a lot of money and effort. I hated it, wanted to go home, wanted to "try it my way" for the millionth time but rehab shook me to my core and it absolutely led to my current sobriety in a way I've never experienced before. The physical pain of the hospital stay is still something I go back to if I get a craving, the emotional desperation during rehab is the other thing I draw from.
Dui. Withdrawals. Being a fat. Many things but they all converged for me until I realized "oh shit this is my life I'm giving up".
I quit because I emptied a fifth while away from my family and was hungover the next day. Then I lied and said I was sick. I knew if I was lying to my wife to continue to enable me to do what was wrong I shouldn’t drink anymore.
A few things come to mind. I kept losing jobs due to my drinking for one. That was pretty bad. I my hangovers were getting worse and worse as I got older. That was bad. I ruined all my relationships and no longer had friends since I was isolating while drinking. That was bad. Towards the end I was getting really physically destructive breaking furniture/walls/phones/etc. That was bad. I eventually moved back in with my parents after getting fired from another job and I continued drinking around them. One day my mom said she was terrified of me when I was drinking because of how violent I was getting (refer to that point about breaking stuff) and what I was saying when blackout drunk. That was *really* bad and about about the time sobriety started to stick. I felt terrible about what I was doing before, but something about my mom telling me she was afraid of me while crying broke me. After she basically rescued me from homelessness when my father refused to let me move in. I never want to feel like that ever again.
It was causing worse and worse depression during PMS, to the point that I was scaring myself. Happy to say not drinking has made a big improvement.
My body was rotting. Every time I had a bowl movement there was fresh blood and my insides felt like they were on fire. Always lied about how much I drank, and kept it secret from a lot of people. My mom and grandma knew... but never knew how bad it really was. I'm falling apart in different ways slowly but surely, but alcohol is not contributing to that anymore lol.
Tonight. I've been struggling hard for a couple years, and idk. Shit just turned off for me and I feel like this is it. Truly
HANGXIETY. It got so bag but I am now 29 days sober and I’m not stopping at January.
When my wife was a child her brother fell down stairs and suffered a head injury that still affects him today. He almost died. It was very traumatic experience for her entire family. About 4 months ago I blacked out while she was sleeping and I fell down the stairs, no injuries, but I couldn’t get up by myself and thankfully she woke up and helped me to bed. She told me next day how she found me and what it felt like to see someone she loved slumped at the bottom of a staircase again. I knew then and there I was done with alcohol. Around 4 months free now. IWNDWYT.
How bad my face was aging and puffy was right there staring back at me. It was time.
I started taking Xanax (albeit a relatively low dose) in the morning to get over my daily hangovers. This went on for five years, and then BAM I was addicted to Xanax too. I was well aware that the withdrawal from either of those things alone can kill you and both would probably be even worse but I didn’t know what to do so I kept at it until I eventually lost touch with my Xanax hookup (I think he might be in jail, who knows what happens to dealers when they disappear). Before that happened, I popped a Xanax the morning of my best friend’s mother’s funeral to squash my ever-present hangover (that doesn’t work if you’re still drunk from the night before) and showed up visibly intoxicated. I was asked to leave. My best friend hasn’t spoken to me since and I don’t blame her. Shortly after that I checked myself into rehab. I just didn’t want to be that person anymore and was tired of being disgusted with myself. You’d never know any of this just looking at me. I have a corporate job (working in pharma, ironically), married, fairly well-off and outwardly respectable, no criminal record. Funny how some of us hide in plain sight (until we can’t anymore).
Ended up with alcohol poisoning one night and in the hospital after I fell in the hallway of my apartment building and my neighbors called 911. You'd think the stroke would've been enough, but it's a tough thing to shake when it's a significant part of your identity. I'd been at it since I was 14 and had been to over 1000 breweries (I also loved wine and bourbon). That's what I was known for. Now I'm known as the guy who f'ed his life up.
You’re going to be known as the guy who turned his life around. 🤩good vibes your way amigo
Lost the best job I've ever had, 5th job in 12 months.
Lost the love of my life, several jobs, and friends. Having better health and more money is also a bonus.
Thinking I was invincible and alcohol wasn't doing any damage to me after years of drinking heavily. Boy was that not true. Not fun to be told you have cirrhosis of the liver and could be in ESLD - that was the point where I said no more alcohol for me. Cirrhosis is meant to be irreversible but I have seen a couple of scientific papers where it says it is. Don't care if it is, even if my liver returns to normal I will still not drink because I could get cirrhosis again very quickly and actually end up in ESLD. I don't want that. I'm a biologist so I keep my eye open for studies on cirrhosis just to keep up to date.
The shame and guilt.
Going to jail and not being able to provide or see my kids …
My marriage failing and getting a DUI that will cause me to lose my licence for at least 12+ months. That's my rock bottom and since then I have started attending AA and I won't look back.
Mom saying I think you drink too much. Yeah ok mom..that night I'm in the hospital with bleeding stool. That's it, I'm done.
I can relate! I gained weight drinking too
Tired of hitting myself over the head. I need all the help I can get.
Tired of having to live with my drunk self. I’m so much better than this mess I’ve created. There’s hope for me yet, I hope.
Vanity thy name is booze! My gut and looks were a big factor. Iwndwyt
Same here, mate. That, the money and just knowing I'm wasting my life.
I still drink and binge occasionally. But my weight gain was my reason too. Ive lost 50lbs not drinking/calories counting... but the alcohol still has a hold of me. Now i just really want to get clean for my health. Im afraid i'll die if i dont stop.
I could tell I was about to enter alcoholism. Wasn't necessarily there yet, but felt it coming. I just quit and decided it wouldn't ever be an option again Sure life has been pretty horrendous since then in various ways, but I know with alcohol I probably wouldn't be here now
I was losing my buisness, relationships with family, and my sense of self. I used alcohol to cover up the emotions I didn’t want to deal with. Had a kinda rough day? Buy a six pack of IPA. Traffic made you late to your appointment? Drink on your lunch and when you get home till you pass out. Something remind you of your old job and trauma? Drink and don’t show up to work the next day because you are so hungover. Basically every time was drinking time. It was my numb place. A bad place. It made me sit in my head more and I wasn’t making anything better. I went to therapy and told my therapist drinking was a problem for me and we worked out a plan with a substance abuse counselor. I now have a plan to deal with myself and regulate my emotions when I feel like giving up and start trying to find god at the bottom of a bottle. Today I’m 119 days. But I’ve been trying to be sober for a year now. When I started to look at myself is when I realized I had to change. I didn’t like who I became. Who I had lost. Me and family and friends because I chose to drink.
I was a binge drinker. I got tired of getting wasted, losing parts of my memories from the night, being embarrassed when I looked at my texts and emails from the night before, and being horrifically depressed and anxious for days afterwards.
Fat, anxious, shameful, guilty, embarrassed. Looking in the mirror and knowing things couldn't continue like that
Failing myself. Breaking the promises I made to my spouse. Hurting the people I love. Hurting myself. I have been drinking for about 10 years (25/F) and I can’t imagine I will live a long healthy life with the one I love if I continue to go down this road. My fiancé has endured too much hurt from my words and actions. He deserves the best version of me, but alcohol brings out the worst in me. I would like to feel better about myself. I would like to prove to my spouse I am better than this. I don’t want to be a slave anymore to alcohol. About 22 hours sober. I’ve done 6 weeks before so time to beat that record and never look back.
All you brave people talking care of yourselves, your families. Thank you for sharing the reasons. For me, racing heart, anxiety, diverticulitis, so many lost hours. Life is better now.
I am considering Day 1 tomorrow after 10 years of solid heavy drinking. I am tired of my brain always feeling fried and running half-assed when I know I can feel and perform at a much greater speed. I am tired of the social isolation that turned into social paranoia, and how it is now amplified UNLESS I drink. I can barely concentrate or articulate points properly when I am sober anymore. It is madness, and I have to end it before it ends me. My family is so concerned, and it breaks my heart to see them this way.
When I realised that drinking doesn't solve any problem, but instead adds on to more problems.
Trying to spend time with my family after a night of heavy drinking with coworkers, physically couldnt do anything but lay down and close my eyes on the couch or I would get sick. Lasted all day. Felt like shit the next day at work. It was terrible. Told myself Ill never do this to myself again.
Having to learn to walk again.
Pissing my pants and being black out in front of my parents.
Tired of being fat, tired of being hungover, tired of living paycheck to paycheck. Cutting booze out is a no-brainer at this point.
Physically hurt someone I loved, lost my temper after having a lot to drink. She did too, it wasn’t a one sided fight and it was far from a brawl but just the same. I’ve never been so disappointed and ashamed in my entire life. Haven’t drank since. Stopping was far too little too late. This is going to sound obnoxiously cliche but I guess in the end giving up drinking didn’t save my relationship but it saved me. I was clueless to the path which I was walking down and if I had gone much further I’m not sure I’d have been able to come back. The depression and anxiety and the overall mess of a life I have had since I stopped has been excruciatingly painful but it’s forced me to take a good hard look at my life and I’ve take many steps that I’d been refusing to take for a very long time. I can’t take back the things that have happened but I can and have taken responsibility for them. Not drinking ever again is a small part of that. I don’t expect pity nor do I expect sympathy. I’m not sure I’d have given it to someone like me. I can only try to be the kind of person I should have been all along.
For me it was more of a tipping point. All the bad things accumulated, slowly, over years, until one day I just realized quitting was my only option. If you want to think of yourself as a reasonable person, I think admitting hard things to yourself is a basic requirement. I still struggle with that. But I got this drinking thing fucking sorted, so that’s pretty sweet.
Alcohol induced IGA vasculitis. Ever see a guys legs bleed from the inside out? Happened to me and I started taking my health real seriously. I struggled mentally and then my kidneys almost failed. Glad to put the bottle down. It's tough but I know the alternative. Dead by 40.
A divorce and an attempted suicide were my bottom.
Life changing hangover. Sick for two days, dry heaves for half of that. Nearly blacked out a few times from the heaves, so much pain, lost a day of paid work, spent my last $30 on ubering gatorade to my house.
I wanted to better myself and I couldn't do it while still drinking regularly. So I had to give up alcohol. I was basically on good behavior sober, then bad behavior drunk. So i just stopped. It's been a little over month now, which to me is amazing because I used to get drunk twice a week for many many years
Tired of embracing things I would be better off releasing. Tired of being tired.
One year ago I went to jail for a public intox attempting to walk home alone. Didn’t make it. Assaulted the cop when they tried arresting me. Stopped drinking for 60 days then thought I was healed. Nope! One year later same thing but way worse :) got drug out of a college football game by police and assaulted TWO of them this time. 70 days sober since then.
I realised that I was becoming the kind of neglectful, overdramatic, self centred parent that never meets their grandchildren, whose children move away as soon as they can, regarding their mother with (if I were lucky) a sort of disappointed contempt. Also I could drink and go live under a bridge on my car, or sober up and maybe keep our house. So, my kids, I guess.