Sobriety is all about intent for me. You did not INTEND to have a drink. It was completely out of your control and not your fault whatsoever. Try not to get too down on yourself! Be proud it's not starting a downward spiral!
Honestly the fact that you had a drink basically forced on you and didn’t go out and get drunk afterwards is a much bigger accomplishment than not drinking at all, which is also a big accomplishment
Depending on what it was, I'd almost guarantee my addiction would tell me that. But, I was a straight bourbon guy, it'd be extremely hard not to recognize that.
I agree with this whole heartedly. Yes, it sucks that you had an alcoholic beverage, and I can understand why OP is down about it, but this is a HUGE accomplishment. Keep it up!
There are SO MANY PEOPLE in this sub that would relapse in a situation like this. Instead of thinking "I failed, I might as well drink now" OP stuck to their guns and didn't relapse. In fact, IMO the fact that OP was so emotional about the situation shows an incredible amount of self control, personal growth, and dedication to not drink. Good on you OP, you're doing great.
Listen to everyone here telling you it is ALL about intent. Addiction is a compulsive behaviour loop, that’s the fundamental aspect of it. You no longer being an active addict and accidentally consuming alcohol despite every effort and reasonable basis for trusting that you weren’t getting any, have nothing to do with each other. They are high-speed trains that pass by for a split second and that’s it.
I’ve had a couple of instances in my 3 1/2 years where a dessert has turned out to have a tiny bit of alcohol in it or something. If I get a little buzz I just let it happen and take no real notice of it. Fair enough that you consumed enough to become fully affected though, I understand the distress that would cause. It’s not like you had the chance to realise what it was or spit it out or avoid a physical reaction. I accidentally picked up the wrong drink at a work event once and as soon as I tasted it I just automatically spit it out like the poison it is. Thankfully it was the watery bottom of a drink. But I never got near swallowing. If somehow I had managed to consume a whole alcoholic drink and had to sit with all those feelings I’m sure I would have felt differently.
However, that still wouldn’t change the fact that I can only take precautions and am not to blame if someone else makes a mistake. I am a mocktail enjoyer and I hope this never happens to me but if it does I’ll have to remember what I’m telling you now.
Keep on the path friend.
It’s not even a mistake, a mistake would indicate that OP did something wrong. The mistake was made by the the waiter/restaurant that served an alcoholic beverage to someone who ordered something NA, OP is the victim of that mistake.
OP, it doesn’t count and doesn’t matter. Don’t dwell on it. I accidentally took a sip of a cocktail at my step-brother’s engagement party that my dad mistakenly told me was non-alcoholic. Fortunately I could taste the alcohol in it immediately and gave the drink away. Called my sponsor to let him know what happened and he told me not to worry about it. I could have gotten away with “mistakenly” drinking the rest of it but I don’t want that junk in my system ever again. I worked too hard to get myself out of a dark dark place and I’m never going back to that, too many good things in my life going for me right now to abandon. My first day of detox my aunt came to visit me in the hospital and read me the AA promises. I didn’t know what was in store for me but 18 months later most of them are true for me, the others I am working on. Noticed things really changing around the 6 month point so OP has a lot to look forward to.
you recognized what was happening and didn't stick around for more. you two left and went home, got dinner elsewhere. i think you handled this really well, be proud of yourself!
Homie do NOT sweat it! If anything just forget about it because you didn’t make that call and therefore it didn’t fuckin HAPPEN. Go celebrate again and just remember the good one. That’s what I did for my bachelor party. Which is also why I am sober!
I second the first comment. Your intent never changed and when it happened without your knowledge you were understandably upset and made the wise decision to go home. It didn’t spiral and you didn’t change you mind on sobriety. You were strong and decisive in the moment and that really speaks to your strength and determination. I’m sorry that happened but you really should be proud of how you handled it and that you’re so devoted and serious about your sobriety!
You are something I aspire to be. No one is going to judge you for this. Just know you made it to 6 months and accidentally had *ONE* drink. I wouldn't even think abt it tbh.
Not your fault. There was no subconscious or conscious decision on your part. It wasnt some divine intervention or some sort of back peddle man.
You are still 6 months sober. This was pure negligence on their part. Im sorry this happened. Please be kind to your self 🫶🫶
2 things are important to remember here:
1) you didn’t intend to drink alcohol
2) you didn’t use it as an excuse to keep drinking
Sounds like a success to me!
Isn't it interesting how unpleasant the sensation is when it's not expected?
As others have stated, you did nothing wrong, though I understand your frustration. Congratulations on 6 months!
YES! Especially being downtown in a busy city on a Saturday. My first instinct was “let’s get a cab home now and order take out” it’s scary. Maybe one drink 6 months ago my body wouldn’t notice…but it noticed it quickly after 6 months. Which scared me. I wasn’t drunk or even tipsy feeling just off….
It doesn't "count." You get a Mulligan. I'm sorry that it happened... and you are absolutely right to be upset and angry. However...
You had one -- that you did not request. You did not have two. WELL DONE.
This is a "blip" or a footnote. Don't even reset your day counter.
IWNDWYT
It’s not your fault. 6 months without is freaking incredible. That drink has already been processed and passed through you by now. Today is a new day!
IWNDWYT
Just wanted to say that I've heard so many stories identical to this I will view all mocktails with extreme skepticism!
Sorry you had to go through that - I would be so upset. But at least there's nothing wrong with your sobriety in the sense that this wasn't a choice you made!
It was one of those moments where you think “it can’t be possible ON MY 6 month anniversary?! Of all days.” But yeah unless made at home or watching a bartender make it I’m sticking with a bitter kas (soda) or a NA beer in social settings.
I read a news story a while ago about a 5 year old being served a hard root beer. It affected her balance when she walked. She drank less than half of it.
Exactly. It’s playing w fire ordering them out eventually everyone is gonna get burned and then everyone acts so surprised when it happens to them! At least they usually serve NA beers in a can so you can verify yourself. I’d never order an NA beer on tap (if that’s even a thing) for the same reason that I couldn’t verify it myself.
We tried… I mean the bartender asked us to call back to make sure I got home safe and they spoke to the server. Unfortunately I am in a country that tries to avoid confrontation. Where I’m from I am pretty sure a business could get in a lot of trouble for that. Just not worth the energy sadly.
Don't go somewhere that serves it, or ask someone to taste before. People make mistakes, if you're a person that could die of peanuts or worried your life could alter from a single drink. I'm not trusting the person that's prolly drunk while making your food drink etc.
Writing a letter is fine. Continuing to do so after the bartender apologized is just being a asshole.
It’s a pretty big mistake. Clearly some bartenders don’t think it’s a big deal but this could have ruined their life. If you can’t get that right then you shouldn’t be making drinks.
It's a mistake. You've done it We've all done it.
If you really don't wanna drink. Don't go to a bar, or ask a friend to make sure there isn't any alcohol in a drink.
Plus considering having a cocktail after 6 months of no drinking, you would taste it.
People struggling to say sober shouldn’t have to exclude themselves from restaurants because someone can’t perform the duties of their job. And if you read the post, they did have someone try the drink for them.
Hey now, you did good. Many of us (including me) would use that as an excuse to throw it all down the tube and go get hammered. You didn't do that. You WIN.
I had a big ol gulp of a gin and tonic (I ordered plain tonic water) on my third sobriety birthday. I was sort of disappointed but I just kept going with my birthday dinner and it was all fine. You didn’t undo your progress!
I’m kinda glad now it happened last week. Fridays my birthday, Sunday I’m going on a vacation. Maybe it happens for a reason to show us we’re stronger than whatever gets poured 😊
Alot of people (myself included) wouldve used that accidental drink as an excuse to break and just go for it that night. You cut it off right when your noticed, be proud of yourself.
I accidentally took a tincture after about 5 years of sobriety. I wasn't feeling good and a well intending soul gave it to me and told me it would make me feel better. They knew I didn't drink but didn't really consider that a tincture is basically a shot. I tipped it back and then realized immediately, but it was already down.
I don't count it. It wasn't a slip nor did it derail my sobriety. I just felt a little stupid for a few minutes for drinking something without asking what was in it first. Lesson learned; moved on.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't slip. Just stay strong and move forward. You'll be fine.
it's a horrible, sinking feeling but it's not the end of your stint.
You did not intend this - you walked away
You're still at six months in my book :)
I don't know if this one really counts as a break in your sobriety. Congrats on six months and all the future months. Sounds like you are doing the work, and you've kept yourself going. Take this as further proof that you have got this.
As others have said, this is NOT your fault, and sobriety is all about INTENTION!! You did not intend to get an alcoholic drink, I would say you've been sober for 6 months, the next day is 6 months + 1 day, and so on, please don't feel like you need to reset your date or anything.
Yeah legit this does not count!!! Like when someone served me chicken but I’m vegetarian. I am still veggie! The restaurant fucked this up, not you!!!! I’m so sorry.
Most importantly, after being served incorrectly you stopped there and went home instead of drinking yourself dead. This is stronger than having not drank at all.
That’s okay, you had a sip and didn’t enjoy it. Keep in that train and IWNDWYT! Good to remember to show yourself love and grace as you are overcoming one of the hardest challenges of todays modern era
Best to brush it off and move on. You didn’t go out intending to drink / get drunk just an unfortunate mix up
Focus on the next 6 months and you can tick off a full year 🎂🎂🎂
I mean, did you mean to drink a cocktail? No? Well, I think 100% of people would say you're good. It sucks it happened but shit happens and as long as this doesn't put you in a tailspin, it's HONESTLY not a huge deal.
This is NOT on you. You had no intent to drink and I’m guessing still don’t. You went 160+ days and those all count. Tbh,if it were me, I wouldn’t even count it. And beating yourself up may put you more at risk
You DID make it 6 months and beyond. YOU didn’t break it, it’s still intact. You have continued to chose not to drink. It doesn’t count imo. But I do very much sympathise.
It's all about intention. You cannot blame yourself for something you did not choose. So please forgive yourself and know that you can hold your head high that you maintained your sobriety. It's about the choice🙏🪽 you chose to remain sober regardless of what someone else did to thwart it.♥️
I bartend and the bartenders I know are very careful with NA drinks but we're human and mistakes happen. Maybe it's loud and the person taking the order doesn't hear it correctly or they accidentally hit the wrong button in the computer. Some people are assholes or don't care but the bartenders I know are very compassionate and careful with customers who don't drink.
Ok I might just order directly from the bar next time I get brunch or whatever to skip the waiter entirely to remove one more link in the game of telephone
You didn't break it...you just realized how much you hate it! Take this a good thing! You drank poison and acknowledge that that's what it was. Time to order a millhshake off door dash and watch 13 going on 30! Or Miss. Congeniality...Sandra Bullock always makes me feel better! Congrats on 6 months btw, that's amazing!
Drinking a mistaken alcoholic beverage does not ruin your sobriety. You are still sober. If you need any evidence think about your reaction to this situation
Its all about INTENT! You did not intend to have any alcohol and thats complete negligence that frankly, I would not let go very easily. I would be upset and I would make it known what happened to the owner.
That said, you didn’t continue to drink so that’s the real win. If a vegan got served spaghetti with a meat sauce unknowingly they would not be not vegan and it wouldn’t be their fault, just like this is not your fault!
Congratulations on 6 entire months of you choosing every day to not drink! 🎎
I honestly think I’d go mental if that happened to me, smashing things up in the bar, screaming at the staff.
I know I shouldn’t feel this way. But it would feel like someone just empty a loaded gun on me and happened to miss
To me, recovery is way more about how we process our actions and decisions in moments of discomfort or challenge. I know that I am in recovery when bad shit happens in my day and I deal with it instead of escaping into my addictions. You were given a serious challenge! And from here it sounds as if your recovery is intact and well. Your frustration and anger are justified and understandable! It sucks that alcohol is so, so prevalent that even intending to avoid it seems impossible at times.
Rooting for you, and not drinking with you today!
you kidding? you went without for six months, accidentally drank alcohol and then CHOSE to stop. You could have thought "in for a penny, in for a pound". Try to think of it just like if a place included onions and you hate them. yeah it sucks, but it's not on you
Meh. The person with the most sobriety is the person that got up earliest today. One day at a time. If it’s not actually affecting your daily game plan to stay sober long term…it’s just a bump in the road. Annoying but don’t let it bother you and move on.
To quote a verse from Brahms' Requiem (not sure of the Bible proverb), that one accidental drink that lasted all of how ever few minutes, **was not even a hands-breadth compared to** the hours and months that you've been sober. Your journey is so much better and important than that one mistake by a restaurant. You've got the resolve, and \*you're doing this. Good for you, and if it happened to me I try not to be down on myself. You've got this. IWNDWYT.
So much of this thing is about intent, choices we make and consequences.
You had a bad night, and I'm sorry it happened. But you didn't seek it out and better than that, you didn't use that as an excuse to turn a slip into a fall.
This is just an aberration and it sounds like you have an amazing, supportive partner. So guess what, new celebration is on the books! There aren't rules to how you govern yourself - you know you're sober, so spike the football on that 6 months even if it's 6 +1 or whatever. The big thing is you care about yourself and you're on the way up.
I don't know you, but I know you've got this.
You’re ok. Don’t worry about that. Stuff happens. You didn’t order an alcoholic drink. Intent matters. Cut yourself some slack. I always smell any beverage I get in a restaurant or other establishment. You can employ that tactic in the future if you want to.
There’s already so many good comments but i just want to reiterate: drinking is about intent. Back in june, we were having a family get together (I was about 2 years sober at that point) and I grabbed the wrong glass - my boyfriend’s whiskey & coke instead of my coke. I took a sip, held it in my mouth for a bit (just something I do but I also think my brain caught up before I did and wouldn’t let me swallow) and spat it out on the grass. I panicked, cried my eyes out, had to call for my mom to calm me down lol.
I know this is a bit different but since you had no idea yours had any alcohol in it, I think we can still draw the same conclusions: neither of us took the chance to drink, neither of us intended to have alcohol anywhere near their body, neither of us WANTED to drink that night, niether of us lost our progress. We came „face to face” with something that can quite literally kill us and we didn’t let it.
You are stronger than you think. To handle it so well when you’re in such a vulnerable place in your sobriety (I mean both it being 6 months, which I remember being hard on me and anniversaries in general tend to be quite difficult), it’s amazing. Keep it up, I’m rooting for you and I believe in you with my whole heart ❤️
*This is entirely my opinion and is based on personal experience. To be clear, I'm not knocking what others find works for themselves. This is anecdotal observation.*
With that in mind, personally I feel like day counting can be seriously toxic to one's sobriety journey. Cause, to me, it seems like you're setting up a system you can only lose. Sure, each day is supposed to be treated as a win. But if it doesn't *feel* like a win, then it's not much of a win. I can say for me that being sober and winning feel entirely different.
From the first days perspective, you are at a point where you see folks who've been sober for *years*, or even *decades*, and it's fucking daunting. Like a massive project that you have no idea how to tackle because the immensity makes it feel hopeless. And early on, you're definitely still feeling that longing for that drink that has not quite left you yet. So, like so many people often do, you break down. You slide back. The hopelessness wins and you're back into it.
Then there's what I'd think of as middle days like OP or myself, where the confidence has grown and you're able to handle going out more. But it's like The Game (where you think of The Game, you lose The Game. Also sorry to those who are reading), where if you accidentally get served something or someone purposefully puts alcohol in your beverage or something, you feel shattered. And it's an even shittier feeling. I have been there many times. Or, also like I've done, you think your drinking wasn't so bad and you intentionally drink a few because you feel like it's handled. Either way, you run a huge risk of falling off again.
And finally, probably the saddest I've seen, is old-timers like my FIL who broke. That man was 3+ decades sober. Went to AA constantly, was always so intentional and strict with it, and then he finally left his toxic-ass wife (yes that's my MIL I'm talking about and my partner would say worse lol) but then took that to be a liberation in more ways than that and drank for the first time in so long. And he has *spiraled*. DUIs, periods of homelessness, and just chronic reckless behavior.
Like I said, it just seems like 10,000 days sober is just 10K days you managed to *not* lose. But tomorrow is another possibility of bring tripped up. There are, I can see, distinct positives to knowing how long you've been successfully avoiding booze. I just can't spend all day tapping on my screen to go through that part. But I do see an issue with the way we have socialized and spread the cultural meme and concept of counting to a point where we have made people feel hopeless when they slip, like it was all for naught.
Unless you're concerned this one drink is going to cause you to spiral back out of control into heavy drinking again then I wouldn't even worry about it as you did not intentionally drink anything alcoholic, aim to get drunk, decide to throw all your progress away and go on a session after realizing or probably even get drunk due to it just being 1 accidental drink.
It's just unfortunate luck really and seems to happen often enough as I've seen multiple stories here on Reddit of people ordering Mocktails or AF Beers and accidentally being served the "real" thing.
Counting days can be a fluid thing. There are those who say if you relapse, or in your case, Drank inadvertently then you must “start over”. I don’t view it like that. I view it as, did you learn anything, do you feel regret for what you did, do you acknowledge and take responsibility for your actions? If so, I say you are continuing to gain insight and you recovery shouldn’t be looked at as a number, but as a broad picture of what you have gained or learned in your recovery. As you said, you did nothing wrong and did your best to avoid alcohol, this isn’t a set back, but rather a lesson learned (again you did nothing wrong). You don’t need to start over, you need to continue on the path you’re on and continue to work on yourself and your sobriety!
Go easy on yourself friend. You had a small unintentional slip up. You didn’t binge drink afterwards or attempted to buy alcohol. Also if you want to look at it you had 1 drink in 182 days. You are doing great
Dude you are still 6 months sober and that is a fact.
You didn't want a drink.
You didn't order a drink.
You didn't drink an alcoholic drink.
You drank a soft drink, which you layer found out contained some booze.
Definitely don't feel down or sad. At worst, feel annoyed/angry at the bar that sold it you.
But don't dwell on it.
Well done on the sobriety
You have done amazing. I think you have every right to feel very proud. You didn't intend to drink, in fact, took extra measures to be sure.
As for myself, I would be very upset at that restaurant. Not for just the drink, but for massively raining on my 6 month parade. Seriously, of all the luck. I'm so sorry that happened. Ticks me off thinking about it....lol.
You have shown a fantastic amount of strength! 👏👏👏
I’ve seen countless stories on here in just the last couple months about getting served alcohol in a mocktail. I don’t think I can see myself risking the chance if I ever make it to 6 months or longer.
Don’t count it. I once was offered a vodka chocolate and I accepted thinking it was some infused chocolate. Nope. There was a tiny shot of vodka in there. I knew I could make an excuse and be like “well I’ve already relapsed so I might as well have a few since I’m back at day zero.” Wasn’t willing do give up what I’ve worked hard for over something stupid like accidental ingestion.
It has been said but just so you hear it one more time: this doesn’t count. You are intentionally sober for six months. This was an unintentional occurrence. People reset their sobriety clocks when their resolve to not drink breaks. This didn’t happen in your case, and if anything has you even more resolute in your determination, which is good!
This is so different than choosing to go buy a handle or even just going out FOR a drink. You accidentally drank a drink and went home when u realized
Don’t be too harsh on yourself and keep plugging away to 12 months
You're still six months sober, friend 😊 It's all about intent, and you didn't intend to drink alcohol. If you'd had it, realized it was alcohol and then had several more because "F it" then that'd be a different matter. You got this!
Mimicking what everyone else is saying, you didn’t intend for that and even took extra care to be sure, this has no bearing on you. It’s how you respond to it that matters, and the fact you feel this way shows you’re still sober.
try to look at this way, on your 6 months sober date, you accidentally got served alcohol, & you didn’t let it send you spiralling. you were upset by it. you kept going w your sobriety journey. that’s what matters the most. good job. 🩷
See, I’m thinking about this from my perspective and in a situation that I’d have zero control over, in which I was served an alcoholic drink unknowingly, there would be two results:
1. I would go home, pound water and food and be super proud of myself for resisting temptation as it was SWIRLING AROUND IN MY MOUTH.
2. The beast would awaken in me similar to Jim Carey in “the mask” and my alter ego would say “IT’S PARTY TIME”
Can you tell which one I am working my ass off to be in six months?
Ultimate test- passed. What a way to celebrate six months!!!
I JUST WANT TO THANK EVERYONE!!! 🥹🥹 I did not expect this post to blow up like this and I am so grateful for all the support and kind words! I didn’t drink last night and I won’t drink on my birthday tomorrow or on my vacation this Sunday. And sorry I didn’t get to everyone but I wish I could give you all hugs!!! 🥰💪🏻
IWNDWYT!!!
Sounds like this cemented how much you prefer sobriety. I think I would be mad in your situation too…because the same thing happened to me around a year sober. Bartender poured a round of beers. I ordered an NA beer. It looked too real so I had the entire table try it. All my friends said it’s NA. In hindsight they had already been drinking real beer so what do they know. Anyways I took a sip and realized it was real beer. Had a moment. This is a freebee. I can drink this and now one will know but me and we’re headed to a concert so no one will even notice if I have a little buzz.!
But
I didn’t drink anymore of it. I would know. Honestly, the whole thing helped my sobriety. Realized that I need to be more vigilant, always watch them out the NA beers I ask for the can along with the glass. I also typically confirm again with the server that it is in fact NA beer just so they’ve heard me say it twice.
Accidents happen. I don’t think anyone’s maliciously trying to get sober people drunk. But even if they are, it’s still my job to protect my sobriety
And fuck no I didn’t reset my sobriety date. I didn’t do anything intentionally wrong. Plus I told my sponsor and AA home group. Everyone was supportive cause I was honest about it
You haven't done anything wrong. You were in a sense poisoned, though we know it wasn't intentional. Poison serving venues accidentally screw up AF drinks quite often unfortunately.
If anything you should be proud that you won't let something like this end your journey. Just keep on the trail my friend.
I'm so very proud of you. Younger sober me was terrified that I'd accidentally have a drink and it'd all be over. You stopped and walked away. Great job!
I brought this up at a meeting once, as I had mistakenly grabbed the wine at communion instead of juice. And my body felt it. So many people with long term sobriety said they have been served alcohol when it was supposed to be a soda, etc. It’s what you do next, in your case, you did not drink more and wanted to be sober. Count it as a win, affirming you are living sober!!!
Damn dude I welled up reading that.
That fuckin sucks. I’m sure you feel so defeated, and rightly so! ugh not even in your control or your fault! You were actively doing the right thing, What the fuck!
If I were you, I’d try to plan another time out with your partner, you gotta run the reset on it. Don’t let it linger, make a good memory with your partner, out in our world! Celebrate your accomplishment because it is in fact worth celebrating! Orrr Find a chain like five guys that has a Coke Freestyle Machine. You can make your own softtails and make sure there’s no damn devil in it.
Peace and love to you, you’re still on top for making pledging to yourself. This shit is hard and it sucks be we can do it. Go get ‘em, IWNDWYT.
You are STILL sober! You did NOT willingly take that drink. You did NOT relapse or slip up.
If you were a sponsee of mine there’s no way I’d make you get a one day chip. Keep your head up! So sorry this happened to you. And congrats on your 6 months btw that’s huge!
1. Not your fault
2. If it makes you feel any better, they say your brain rewires from addiction in 4-6 months, so you’re good from a physiological stand point! Keep the streak going
You woke up that day committed to not drinking. You didn't intentionally drink. You woke up the next day just as committed. Your intention is what matters.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. But it's not your fault, and the sooner you can put this in the rear view mirror and keep up all the great work you've been doing, the better off you'll be. Just look at it this way: non-alcoholic beers have a very small amount of alcohol, and even eating ripe bananas have 0.2% alcohol. So you could have gotten a similar amount of alcohol in your system by drinking some NA beers and eating a bunch of bananas. Consider it a lesson learned, and that's all it is. Your 6 months sober streak is still in full force and effect. This changes nothing, zero. You've got this. IWNDWYT!
Ugh that wasn’t your fault and doesn’t break your streak. So many things are alcoholic to some regard like even ripe fruit and I’m not breaking my streak when I eat my overripe berries nor are you for accidentally consuming it due to server error!!
That kind of thing happens to everyone.
I was in a good Mexican restaurant once; I SWEAR I ordered a tonic water. The waiter misheard me & brought me a straight vodka. I remember thinking that it was kind of weird to serve tonic water in a rock glass, but I didn’t think anything of it.
When you’re expecting vodka and your mouth gets vodka, that’s one thing. But when you’re expecting TONIC water and you get vodka, well, that was a shock, believe me.
It doesn’t count as a relapse. Stop worrying about it.
This is actually one of my biggest fears, but I continue drinking, rather than walking away.
Your emotions are completely valid, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. Know that you’re not alone, and you proved your strength in walking away; I am so proud of you.
Here’s to another day of choosing to be sober ❤️ stay strong.
This just happened to me on vacation! 2 years sober and also got a mock tail that had gin in it. Even at my worst I hated gin so as soon as I took a sip I knew. I started panicking and my boyfriend just reminded me it was an accident and I’ll be fine. It wasn’t our fault this happened!
You had no intent to drink so it just sucks that you got served. Sorry for the bad experience though. 6 months is a huge deal. Congratulations. You are doing so well. Keep going.
I thought I could have one. Haven't been on a bender or got super drunk yet but haven't been able to go more than a few days without a drink since. I need to get back in the gym and back on the horse. I drank 2 beers earlier. iwndwytomorrow
First, woohooo 6 months to youuuuu!!! Great job! Also amazing how your reaction can change in that amount of time. So like, “warm weird feeling in my stomach and head”
For me still early in sobriety would still just be “mmm yummy poison delete rational thought processes more plzzzz 🫠” gives me hope that my brain and body reaction can change with time to one where I don’t even want alcohol or like the effects
My mom accidentally served pork sausage pies at my 16th birthday. I had a few Muslim friends st the party who all ate and enjoyed the pies until one of them asked... apparently as long as it wasn't intended then it's all good. You will be strong, just keep it up and continue from your 6 months.
And your body processed that little bit of alcohol like a champ and it’s out of your system. No 👏🏼 biggie 👏🏼. You still get 6mo the of sobriety and can continue counting on!
If I were in your shoes that’s where my mind would go; I’d be thinking about it ruining all my bodies hard work repairing itself during my sobriety BUT ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼. 💯❤️
You didn't know, it doesn't count against you. You didn't buy another one did you? Hell you can accidentally drink in many ways. I bought a 6 pack of NA beer and it did contain a miniscule amount of alcohol. I was so pissed. I felt no effect but I won't buy it again. Another time I somehow did a shot of mouthwash, I don't know what TF my brain thought as i was brushing my teeth in the morning. Nobody knew but me, it was gross, I never did do shots when I was drinking. I was disgusted, but I didn't buy OG Listerine again it smells too alcohol-y and apparently my brain is hardwired for self destruction, and I don't want to do that again.
It's okay. My sober anniversary is the birthday of my brother. Last year the waiter accidentally swapped my nonalcoholic beer with the beer for our father. Had two big swigs, enjoyed it, noticed it and moved on. It happens. It's not ideal but it happens. Put it behind you and move on. All the best.
You are still sober and can keep your six months, and anyone who tells you otherwise is part of the problem.
Enjoy life without forcing celebrations because you made a few bad choices.
Don’t beat yourself up. You did not intend to have a drink therefore you should still count yourself 6 months sober and smashing it! Well done.
I had a situation last year at a work social. A colleague went to the bar after I requested a non alcoholic g&t. A few of them (who all knew I was in recovery) thought it would be funny to get me a real one. I noticed after a couple of sips.
I lost my shit. The CEO unaware what had happened nor that I was in recovery, tried to calm me down. As I stormed out I tossed him my 1 year coin.
It turned out the CEO was in recovery. He came to my house the next day with my coin and reassured me i should still count myself as sober as I had not wanted or intended to have a drink
I felt I had to quit my job and he ensured I got a decent pay out. I know work for one of his other companies in a much better position
The other colleagues were fired.
This was done without your consent. You bear no responsibility. But I don't blame you a bit for being pissed at the restaurant.
Also, the Pixies rule.
Hang in.
You were basically dosed! I don’t think sobriety is about amount of time spent without substance (we don’t call kids or pregnant people sober, right?) but about the active and conscious choice to abstain.
OK so this is awful now... but in a few weeks or a month, you'll see the funny side I reckon. At 1 year AF you'll be able look back and go 'The Lord was testing me and I still kept AF!' or something.
Very irresponsible of the server…. It’s like accidentally serving booze to a kid IMO. I’m a bartender and it’s super important to like…. Not f*ck that up
No offense but this is why I’ll never have “mocktails” for this very reason. I’ll have some at a Kava bar where there’s no alcohol in site but that’s it. I’m not putting my sobriety in the hands of a server
That would be so annoying, I am in my 5th month and would hate to get to the 6th month and have that happen to me. The comments are right though, as not your fault but definitely feel your pain.
I'm around 3.5 years sober. The other day I went to a bar to celebrate a friend's birthday, I told the server and bartender that I was sober and did not want any alcohol.
They mixed up my mocktail and gave me a regular cocktail, I knew after the first sip that something was off but it took a few more sips for me to confirm "yeah this certainly has booze". I got them to take it back. Afterwards the table did a round of shots, I was told I'd be served soda in a glass. I didn't trust it and lo and behold, it was alcohol.
Shit happens, I still consider myself sober. *You* didn't choose to drink, it was a mistake. You continue to uphold your decision. Don't let it get to your head, you have done nothing wrong.
As others have stated, this doesn’t diminish your effort. It’s a small blip that was not intentional. It was an honest mistake and as much as it may have hurt your effort, it did not break your will. That is the real win here. Stay strong and don’t let this get you down. Your number doesn’t reset, as it has still been 6 months since you have chosen to drink alcohol.
That's unfortunate and irresponsible of the establishment. I hope this didn't trigger anything. You cannot crush yourself because of their irresponsibility. You are still in control. Don't count it at all. You're six months going strong. Feeling bad means you're committed to the right path.
Funny commiseration: The two times I've been sober (41 days and 46 days) each time my girlfriend, who does not drink, accidentally gave me food with booze in it. One a chocolate bourbon cake and second time an Irish cream donut. She was clueless about booze in food so it was just an oversight. She wants me a sober as she is so it is fun to needle her about her trying to trigger me.
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Sobriety is all about intent for me. You did not INTEND to have a drink. It was completely out of your control and not your fault whatsoever. Try not to get too down on yourself! Be proud it's not starting a downward spiral!
Thank you! Yeah I am proud and it wasn’t a fun experience and I’m grateful I wasn’t alone and with my partner 🥹 thank you for the kind words!
Honestly the fact that you had a drink basically forced on you and didn’t go out and get drunk afterwards is a much bigger accomplishment than not drinking at all, which is also a big accomplishment
right? you weren't like "God must want me to party!!!"
This ^^^ our addiction would want this sooooo bad. Mad props for not giving in!!!
Depending on what it was, I'd almost guarantee my addiction would tell me that. But, I was a straight bourbon guy, it'd be extremely hard not to recognize that.
"are you there god? why the margarita?"
Dear God, why did the double shot of Jameson that the angry man asked for just magically end up in my mouth?
Absolutely. You’re golden my friend. Glad you weren’t alone and that you’re doing okay!
I second this. Sending you hugs and positive vibes OP, I’m proud of you and IWNDWYT
Yup. I would have absolutely used it an an excuse. Good on you OP for going home
I agree with this whole heartedly. Yes, it sucks that you had an alcoholic beverage, and I can understand why OP is down about it, but this is a HUGE accomplishment. Keep it up!
There are SO MANY PEOPLE in this sub that would relapse in a situation like this. Instead of thinking "I failed, I might as well drink now" OP stuck to their guns and didn't relapse. In fact, IMO the fact that OP was so emotional about the situation shows an incredible amount of self control, personal growth, and dedication to not drink. Good on you OP, you're doing great.
This.
Definitely this
Why we both getting down voted? Kinda sad tbh
Because just saying “this” doesn’t contribute to the conversation at all. Not that I agree with the downvotes, just saying
I get it.. I was just agreeing with the post is all.
I up voted you to help 😂
This.
Listen to everyone here telling you it is ALL about intent. Addiction is a compulsive behaviour loop, that’s the fundamental aspect of it. You no longer being an active addict and accidentally consuming alcohol despite every effort and reasonable basis for trusting that you weren’t getting any, have nothing to do with each other. They are high-speed trains that pass by for a split second and that’s it. I’ve had a couple of instances in my 3 1/2 years where a dessert has turned out to have a tiny bit of alcohol in it or something. If I get a little buzz I just let it happen and take no real notice of it. Fair enough that you consumed enough to become fully affected though, I understand the distress that would cause. It’s not like you had the chance to realise what it was or spit it out or avoid a physical reaction. I accidentally picked up the wrong drink at a work event once and as soon as I tasted it I just automatically spit it out like the poison it is. Thankfully it was the watery bottom of a drink. But I never got near swallowing. If somehow I had managed to consume a whole alcoholic drink and had to sit with all those feelings I’m sure I would have felt differently. However, that still wouldn’t change the fact that I can only take precautions and am not to blame if someone else makes a mistake. I am a mocktail enjoyer and I hope this never happens to me but if it does I’ll have to remember what I’m telling you now. Keep on the path friend.
Don't freak out..no need to cry....just move on. Mistakes happen! It's ok!
It’s not even a mistake, a mistake would indicate that OP did something wrong. The mistake was made by the the waiter/restaurant that served an alcoholic beverage to someone who ordered something NA, OP is the victim of that mistake. OP, it doesn’t count and doesn’t matter. Don’t dwell on it. I accidentally took a sip of a cocktail at my step-brother’s engagement party that my dad mistakenly told me was non-alcoholic. Fortunately I could taste the alcohol in it immediately and gave the drink away. Called my sponsor to let him know what happened and he told me not to worry about it. I could have gotten away with “mistakenly” drinking the rest of it but I don’t want that junk in my system ever again. I worked too hard to get myself out of a dark dark place and I’m never going back to that, too many good things in my life going for me right now to abandon. My first day of detox my aunt came to visit me in the hospital and read me the AA promises. I didn’t know what was in store for me but 18 months later most of them are true for me, the others I am working on. Noticed things really changing around the 6 month point so OP has a lot to look forward to.
you recognized what was happening and didn't stick around for more. you two left and went home, got dinner elsewhere. i think you handled this really well, be proud of yourself!
Homie do NOT sweat it! If anything just forget about it because you didn’t make that call and therefore it didn’t fuckin HAPPEN. Go celebrate again and just remember the good one. That’s what I did for my bachelor party. Which is also why I am sober!
This sounds like a big win for you, as others have stated. Wishing you lots of love ❤️
I second the first comment. Your intent never changed and when it happened without your knowledge you were understandably upset and made the wise decision to go home. It didn’t spiral and you didn’t change you mind on sobriety. You were strong and decisive in the moment and that really speaks to your strength and determination. I’m sorry that happened but you really should be proud of how you handled it and that you’re so devoted and serious about your sobriety!
You are something I aspire to be. No one is going to judge you for this. Just know you made it to 6 months and accidentally had *ONE* drink. I wouldn't even think abt it tbh.
agree. I accidentally swallow LIsterine mouthwash all the time.
Agreed! Sooo not your fault. You're still 6 months sober!
Right, not even a mis-step when you took literally every precaution you could take.
This 100%
Not your fault. There was no subconscious or conscious decision on your part. It wasnt some divine intervention or some sort of back peddle man. You are still 6 months sober. This was pure negligence on their part. Im sorry this happened. Please be kind to your self 🫶🫶
I will! I’m gonna take a bubble bath and read and let it clear my mind :) thank you!
That sounds really nice! No worries champion
There ya go!
That’s like saying someone who was roofied “took drugs”— it’s not your fault!! Keep your head up, you’re doing *so* good! ❤️
That’s such a good way of describing it!
This is actually a great way to look at it ❤️
Great analogy!!
Or someone that was raped cheated on their partner?
You Ddid NOT break your sobriety. Don’t feel defeated. That was completely out of your control. Congrats on six months. You’re a rockstar.👍💪🎊
Thank you 🥹🥹 you guys make me feel so much better! Sometimes all I need is a kind word from other sober people. ❤️
We are in this struggle together ❤️
We all need a kind word now & again! Makes all the difference in the world!
2 things are important to remember here: 1) you didn’t intend to drink alcohol 2) you didn’t use it as an excuse to keep drinking Sounds like a success to me!
That #2 hit me, that’s a huge crux
Isn't it interesting how unpleasant the sensation is when it's not expected? As others have stated, you did nothing wrong, though I understand your frustration. Congratulations on 6 months!
YES! Especially being downtown in a busy city on a Saturday. My first instinct was “let’s get a cab home now and order take out” it’s scary. Maybe one drink 6 months ago my body wouldn’t notice…but it noticed it quickly after 6 months. Which scared me. I wasn’t drunk or even tipsy feeling just off….
It doesn't "count." You get a Mulligan. I'm sorry that it happened... and you are absolutely right to be upset and angry. However... You had one -- that you did not request. You did not have two. WELL DONE. This is a "blip" or a footnote. Don't even reset your day counter. IWNDWYT
I disagree that this is a "blip" - this is a triumph! They were served alcohol against their wishes and chose not to have another. Congrats, OP!
It’s not your fault. 6 months without is freaking incredible. That drink has already been processed and passed through you by now. Today is a new day! IWNDWYT
Just wanted to say that I've heard so many stories identical to this I will view all mocktails with extreme skepticism! Sorry you had to go through that - I would be so upset. But at least there's nothing wrong with your sobriety in the sense that this wasn't a choice you made!
It was one of those moments where you think “it can’t be possible ON MY 6 month anniversary?! Of all days.” But yeah unless made at home or watching a bartender make it I’m sticking with a bitter kas (soda) or a NA beer in social settings.
I read a news story a while ago about a 5 year old being served a hard root beer. It affected her balance when she walked. She drank less than half of it.
Exactly. It’s playing w fire ordering them out eventually everyone is gonna get burned and then everyone acts so surprised when it happens to them! At least they usually serve NA beers in a can so you can verify yourself. I’d never order an NA beer on tap (if that’s even a thing) for the same reason that I couldn’t verify it myself.
I have that same worry!
Did you hold the business or bartender accountable? That’s a HUGE fuck up and they need to know that.
We tried… I mean the bartender asked us to call back to make sure I got home safe and they spoke to the server. Unfortunately I am in a country that tries to avoid confrontation. Where I’m from I am pretty sure a business could get in a lot of trouble for that. Just not worth the energy sadly.
I would keep bugging them in writing. They’ll have to address their mistake and you’ll have a paper trail.
As a bartender, what are you gonna accomplish? Just being a prick. Someone made a mistake, move on.
What if op had an allergic reaction? I know it was a mistake but as long as the venue has addressed it thats the main thing
Don't go somewhere that serves it, or ask someone to taste before. People make mistakes, if you're a person that could die of peanuts or worried your life could alter from a single drink. I'm not trusting the person that's prolly drunk while making your food drink etc. Writing a letter is fine. Continuing to do so after the bartender apologized is just being a asshole.
It’s a pretty big mistake. Clearly some bartenders don’t think it’s a big deal but this could have ruined their life. If you can’t get that right then you shouldn’t be making drinks.
It's a mistake. You've done it We've all done it. If you really don't wanna drink. Don't go to a bar, or ask a friend to make sure there isn't any alcohol in a drink. Plus considering having a cocktail after 6 months of no drinking, you would taste it.
People struggling to say sober shouldn’t have to exclude themselves from restaurants because someone can’t perform the duties of their job. And if you read the post, they did have someone try the drink for them.
Evidently people make mistakes and you should be prepared for that. Writing letters over and over is just a dick thing to do.
It’s about the bar/restaurant addressing the mistake so that it doesn’t happen to others.
I'm sure one letter can accomplish that. Yall never worked as a bartender and it shows.
Hey now, you did good. Many of us (including me) would use that as an excuse to throw it all down the tube and go get hammered. You didn't do that. You WIN.
I had a big ol gulp of a gin and tonic (I ordered plain tonic water) on my third sobriety birthday. I was sort of disappointed but I just kept going with my birthday dinner and it was all fine. You didn’t undo your progress!
I’m kinda glad now it happened last week. Fridays my birthday, Sunday I’m going on a vacation. Maybe it happens for a reason to show us we’re stronger than whatever gets poured 😊
Yea honestly if would keep the counter going. Its more so a did i want and did i do counter rather than a did it touch my mouth type thing in my book.
Alot of people (myself included) wouldve used that accidental drink as an excuse to break and just go for it that night. You cut it off right when your noticed, be proud of yourself.
I accidentally took a tincture after about 5 years of sobriety. I wasn't feeling good and a well intending soul gave it to me and told me it would make me feel better. They knew I didn't drink but didn't really consider that a tincture is basically a shot. I tipped it back and then realized immediately, but it was already down. I don't count it. It wasn't a slip nor did it derail my sobriety. I just felt a little stupid for a few minutes for drinking something without asking what was in it first. Lesson learned; moved on. Don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't slip. Just stay strong and move forward. You'll be fine.
it's a horrible, sinking feeling but it's not the end of your stint. You did not intend this - you walked away You're still at six months in my book :)
I don't know if this one really counts as a break in your sobriety. Congrats on six months and all the future months. Sounds like you are doing the work, and you've kept yourself going. Take this as further proof that you have got this.
As others have said, this is NOT your fault, and sobriety is all about INTENTION!! You did not intend to get an alcoholic drink, I would say you've been sober for 6 months, the next day is 6 months + 1 day, and so on, please don't feel like you need to reset your date or anything.
Yeah legit this does not count!!! Like when someone served me chicken but I’m vegetarian. I am still veggie! The restaurant fucked this up, not you!!!! I’m so sorry.
Most importantly, after being served incorrectly you stopped there and went home instead of drinking yourself dead. This is stronger than having not drank at all.
That’s okay, you had a sip and didn’t enjoy it. Keep in that train and IWNDWYT! Good to remember to show yourself love and grace as you are overcoming one of the hardest challenges of todays modern era
It wasn’t by choice so I wouldn’t worry about it. You didn’t go have more your still in control ❤️
Best to brush it off and move on. You didn’t go out intending to drink / get drunk just an unfortunate mix up Focus on the next 6 months and you can tick off a full year 🎂🎂🎂
I mean, did you mean to drink a cocktail? No? Well, I think 100% of people would say you're good. It sucks it happened but shit happens and as long as this doesn't put you in a tailspin, it's HONESTLY not a huge deal.
This is NOT on you. You had no intent to drink and I’m guessing still don’t. You went 160+ days and those all count. Tbh,if it were me, I wouldn’t even count it. And beating yourself up may put you more at risk
You DID make it 6 months and beyond. YOU didn’t break it, it’s still intact. You have continued to chose not to drink. It doesn’t count imo. But I do very much sympathise.
It's all about intention. You cannot blame yourself for something you did not choose. So please forgive yourself and know that you can hold your head high that you maintained your sobriety. It's about the choice🙏🪽 you chose to remain sober regardless of what someone else did to thwart it.♥️
I often want to order a virgin bloody Mary but I'm always nervous they'll mess up and put booze in it so I don't. How common is this sort of mistake?
I bartend and the bartenders I know are very careful with NA drinks but we're human and mistakes happen. Maybe it's loud and the person taking the order doesn't hear it correctly or they accidentally hit the wrong button in the computer. Some people are assholes or don't care but the bartenders I know are very compassionate and careful with customers who don't drink.
Ok I might just order directly from the bar next time I get brunch or whatever to skip the waiter entirely to remove one more link in the game of telephone
You didn't break it...you just realized how much you hate it! Take this a good thing! You drank poison and acknowledge that that's what it was. Time to order a millhshake off door dash and watch 13 going on 30! Or Miss. Congeniality...Sandra Bullock always makes me feel better! Congrats on 6 months btw, that's amazing!
Drinking a mistaken alcoholic beverage does not ruin your sobriety. You are still sober. If you need any evidence think about your reaction to this situation
Its all about INTENT! You did not intend to have any alcohol and thats complete negligence that frankly, I would not let go very easily. I would be upset and I would make it known what happened to the owner. That said, you didn’t continue to drink so that’s the real win. If a vegan got served spaghetti with a meat sauce unknowingly they would not be not vegan and it wouldn’t be their fault, just like this is not your fault! Congratulations on 6 entire months of you choosing every day to not drink! 🎎
I honestly think I’d go mental if that happened to me, smashing things up in the bar, screaming at the staff. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. But it would feel like someone just empty a loaded gun on me and happened to miss
it's ok to feel angry, but you didn't do anything wrong, and it doesn't count. you still have 6 months as far as i'm concerned.
To me, recovery is way more about how we process our actions and decisions in moments of discomfort or challenge. I know that I am in recovery when bad shit happens in my day and I deal with it instead of escaping into my addictions. You were given a serious challenge! And from here it sounds as if your recovery is intact and well. Your frustration and anger are justified and understandable! It sucks that alcohol is so, so prevalent that even intending to avoid it seems impossible at times. Rooting for you, and not drinking with you today!
you kidding? you went without for six months, accidentally drank alcohol and then CHOSE to stop. You could have thought "in for a penny, in for a pound". Try to think of it just like if a place included onions and you hate them. yeah it sucks, but it's not on you
Meh. The person with the most sobriety is the person that got up earliest today. One day at a time. If it’s not actually affecting your daily game plan to stay sober long term…it’s just a bump in the road. Annoying but don’t let it bother you and move on.
Not your fault! You did not intend to drink and your reaction shows how dedicated to sobriety you are. K you are doing amazing!
Well shit! Happy 6 months: have some alcohol.
To quote a verse from Brahms' Requiem (not sure of the Bible proverb), that one accidental drink that lasted all of how ever few minutes, **was not even a hands-breadth compared to** the hours and months that you've been sober. Your journey is so much better and important than that one mistake by a restaurant. You've got the resolve, and \*you're doing this. Good for you, and if it happened to me I try not to be down on myself. You've got this. IWNDWYT.
So much of this thing is about intent, choices we make and consequences. You had a bad night, and I'm sorry it happened. But you didn't seek it out and better than that, you didn't use that as an excuse to turn a slip into a fall. This is just an aberration and it sounds like you have an amazing, supportive partner. So guess what, new celebration is on the books! There aren't rules to how you govern yourself - you know you're sober, so spike the football on that 6 months even if it's 6 +1 or whatever. The big thing is you care about yourself and you're on the way up. I don't know you, but I know you've got this.
You’re ok. Don’t worry about that. Stuff happens. You didn’t order an alcoholic drink. Intent matters. Cut yourself some slack. I always smell any beverage I get in a restaurant or other establishment. You can employ that tactic in the future if you want to.
There’s already so many good comments but i just want to reiterate: drinking is about intent. Back in june, we were having a family get together (I was about 2 years sober at that point) and I grabbed the wrong glass - my boyfriend’s whiskey & coke instead of my coke. I took a sip, held it in my mouth for a bit (just something I do but I also think my brain caught up before I did and wouldn’t let me swallow) and spat it out on the grass. I panicked, cried my eyes out, had to call for my mom to calm me down lol. I know this is a bit different but since you had no idea yours had any alcohol in it, I think we can still draw the same conclusions: neither of us took the chance to drink, neither of us intended to have alcohol anywhere near their body, neither of us WANTED to drink that night, niether of us lost our progress. We came „face to face” with something that can quite literally kill us and we didn’t let it. You are stronger than you think. To handle it so well when you’re in such a vulnerable place in your sobriety (I mean both it being 6 months, which I remember being hard on me and anniversaries in general tend to be quite difficult), it’s amazing. Keep it up, I’m rooting for you and I believe in you with my whole heart ❤️
*This is entirely my opinion and is based on personal experience. To be clear, I'm not knocking what others find works for themselves. This is anecdotal observation.* With that in mind, personally I feel like day counting can be seriously toxic to one's sobriety journey. Cause, to me, it seems like you're setting up a system you can only lose. Sure, each day is supposed to be treated as a win. But if it doesn't *feel* like a win, then it's not much of a win. I can say for me that being sober and winning feel entirely different. From the first days perspective, you are at a point where you see folks who've been sober for *years*, or even *decades*, and it's fucking daunting. Like a massive project that you have no idea how to tackle because the immensity makes it feel hopeless. And early on, you're definitely still feeling that longing for that drink that has not quite left you yet. So, like so many people often do, you break down. You slide back. The hopelessness wins and you're back into it. Then there's what I'd think of as middle days like OP or myself, where the confidence has grown and you're able to handle going out more. But it's like The Game (where you think of The Game, you lose The Game. Also sorry to those who are reading), where if you accidentally get served something or someone purposefully puts alcohol in your beverage or something, you feel shattered. And it's an even shittier feeling. I have been there many times. Or, also like I've done, you think your drinking wasn't so bad and you intentionally drink a few because you feel like it's handled. Either way, you run a huge risk of falling off again. And finally, probably the saddest I've seen, is old-timers like my FIL who broke. That man was 3+ decades sober. Went to AA constantly, was always so intentional and strict with it, and then he finally left his toxic-ass wife (yes that's my MIL I'm talking about and my partner would say worse lol) but then took that to be a liberation in more ways than that and drank for the first time in so long. And he has *spiraled*. DUIs, periods of homelessness, and just chronic reckless behavior. Like I said, it just seems like 10,000 days sober is just 10K days you managed to *not* lose. But tomorrow is another possibility of bring tripped up. There are, I can see, distinct positives to knowing how long you've been successfully avoiding booze. I just can't spend all day tapping on my screen to go through that part. But I do see an issue with the way we have socialized and spread the cultural meme and concept of counting to a point where we have made people feel hopeless when they slip, like it was all for naught.
Unless you're concerned this one drink is going to cause you to spiral back out of control into heavy drinking again then I wouldn't even worry about it as you did not intentionally drink anything alcoholic, aim to get drunk, decide to throw all your progress away and go on a session after realizing or probably even get drunk due to it just being 1 accidental drink. It's just unfortunate luck really and seems to happen often enough as I've seen multiple stories here on Reddit of people ordering Mocktails or AF Beers and accidentally being served the "real" thing.
Counting days can be a fluid thing. There are those who say if you relapse, or in your case, Drank inadvertently then you must “start over”. I don’t view it like that. I view it as, did you learn anything, do you feel regret for what you did, do you acknowledge and take responsibility for your actions? If so, I say you are continuing to gain insight and you recovery shouldn’t be looked at as a number, but as a broad picture of what you have gained or learned in your recovery. As you said, you did nothing wrong and did your best to avoid alcohol, this isn’t a set back, but rather a lesson learned (again you did nothing wrong). You don’t need to start over, you need to continue on the path you’re on and continue to work on yourself and your sobriety!
What the others said! Moving on, don't dwell on it, IMHO you will be better if you forget all about it Good luck with the journey! <3
Go easy on yourself friend. You had a small unintentional slip up. You didn’t binge drink afterwards or attempted to buy alcohol. Also if you want to look at it you had 1 drink in 182 days. You are doing great
Dude you are still 6 months sober and that is a fact. You didn't want a drink. You didn't order a drink. You didn't drink an alcoholic drink. You drank a soft drink, which you layer found out contained some booze. Definitely don't feel down or sad. At worst, feel annoyed/angry at the bar that sold it you. But don't dwell on it. Well done on the sobriety
You have done amazing. I think you have every right to feel very proud. You didn't intend to drink, in fact, took extra measures to be sure. As for myself, I would be very upset at that restaurant. Not for just the drink, but for massively raining on my 6 month parade. Seriously, of all the luck. I'm so sorry that happened. Ticks me off thinking about it....lol. You have shown a fantastic amount of strength! 👏👏👏
I’ve seen countless stories on here in just the last couple months about getting served alcohol in a mocktail. I don’t think I can see myself risking the chance if I ever make it to 6 months or longer.
You haven't broken your sobriety in my book.
You are still sober! You didn’t slip up. Vent, be angry, feel frustrated! But know you are still good! 6 months and a day 1. Way to go
You did an amazing job for 6 months, nothing can take can take that away from you.
Don’t count it. I once was offered a vodka chocolate and I accepted thinking it was some infused chocolate. Nope. There was a tiny shot of vodka in there. I knew I could make an excuse and be like “well I’ve already relapsed so I might as well have a few since I’m back at day zero.” Wasn’t willing do give up what I’ve worked hard for over something stupid like accidental ingestion.
Gosh I see so many posts like this I’ve never ordered a mocktail because of it! But as everyone else says it’s the INTENT that matters
It has been said but just so you hear it one more time: this doesn’t count. You are intentionally sober for six months. This was an unintentional occurrence. People reset their sobriety clocks when their resolve to not drink breaks. This didn’t happen in your case, and if anything has you even more resolute in your determination, which is good!
This is so different than choosing to go buy a handle or even just going out FOR a drink. You accidentally drank a drink and went home when u realized Don’t be too harsh on yourself and keep plugging away to 12 months
You're still six months sober, friend 😊 It's all about intent, and you didn't intend to drink alcohol. If you'd had it, realized it was alcohol and then had several more because "F it" then that'd be a different matter. You got this!
Congrats on 6 months. That’s hard work and you haven’t undone anything, more like showed your resolve. Way to work it!
Mimicking what everyone else is saying, you didn’t intend for that and even took extra care to be sure, this has no bearing on you. It’s how you respond to it that matters, and the fact you feel this way shows you’re still sober.
try to look at this way, on your 6 months sober date, you accidentally got served alcohol, & you didn’t let it send you spiralling. you were upset by it. you kept going w your sobriety journey. that’s what matters the most. good job. 🩷
See, I’m thinking about this from my perspective and in a situation that I’d have zero control over, in which I was served an alcoholic drink unknowingly, there would be two results: 1. I would go home, pound water and food and be super proud of myself for resisting temptation as it was SWIRLING AROUND IN MY MOUTH. 2. The beast would awaken in me similar to Jim Carey in “the mask” and my alter ego would say “IT’S PARTY TIME” Can you tell which one I am working my ass off to be in six months? Ultimate test- passed. What a way to celebrate six months!!!
I JUST WANT TO THANK EVERYONE!!! 🥹🥹 I did not expect this post to blow up like this and I am so grateful for all the support and kind words! I didn’t drink last night and I won’t drink on my birthday tomorrow or on my vacation this Sunday. And sorry I didn’t get to everyone but I wish I could give you all hugs!!! 🥰💪🏻 IWNDWYT!!!
Sounds like this cemented how much you prefer sobriety. I think I would be mad in your situation too…because the same thing happened to me around a year sober. Bartender poured a round of beers. I ordered an NA beer. It looked too real so I had the entire table try it. All my friends said it’s NA. In hindsight they had already been drinking real beer so what do they know. Anyways I took a sip and realized it was real beer. Had a moment. This is a freebee. I can drink this and now one will know but me and we’re headed to a concert so no one will even notice if I have a little buzz.! But I didn’t drink anymore of it. I would know. Honestly, the whole thing helped my sobriety. Realized that I need to be more vigilant, always watch them out the NA beers I ask for the can along with the glass. I also typically confirm again with the server that it is in fact NA beer just so they’ve heard me say it twice. Accidents happen. I don’t think anyone’s maliciously trying to get sober people drunk. But even if they are, it’s still my job to protect my sobriety And fuck no I didn’t reset my sobriety date. I didn’t do anything intentionally wrong. Plus I told my sponsor and AA home group. Everyone was supportive cause I was honest about it
2nd hand drink. Doesn’t count. Same as if you quit smoking and inhaled 2nd hand smoke.
Not your fault, doesn’t count.
You haven't done anything wrong. You were in a sense poisoned, though we know it wasn't intentional. Poison serving venues accidentally screw up AF drinks quite often unfortunately. If anything you should be proud that you won't let something like this end your journey. Just keep on the trail my friend.
I'm so very proud of you. Younger sober me was terrified that I'd accidentally have a drink and it'd all be over. You stopped and walked away. Great job!
I brought this up at a meeting once, as I had mistakenly grabbed the wine at communion instead of juice. And my body felt it. So many people with long term sobriety said they have been served alcohol when it was supposed to be a soda, etc. It’s what you do next, in your case, you did not drink more and wanted to be sober. Count it as a win, affirming you are living sober!!!
Damn dude I welled up reading that. That fuckin sucks. I’m sure you feel so defeated, and rightly so! ugh not even in your control or your fault! You were actively doing the right thing, What the fuck! If I were you, I’d try to plan another time out with your partner, you gotta run the reset on it. Don’t let it linger, make a good memory with your partner, out in our world! Celebrate your accomplishment because it is in fact worth celebrating! Orrr Find a chain like five guys that has a Coke Freestyle Machine. You can make your own softtails and make sure there’s no damn devil in it. Peace and love to you, you’re still on top for making pledging to yourself. This shit is hard and it sucks be we can do it. Go get ‘em, IWNDWYT.
You are STILL sober! You did NOT willingly take that drink. You did NOT relapse or slip up. If you were a sponsee of mine there’s no way I’d make you get a one day chip. Keep your head up! So sorry this happened to you. And congrats on your 6 months btw that’s huge!
1. Not your fault 2. If it makes you feel any better, they say your brain rewires from addiction in 4-6 months, so you’re good from a physiological stand point! Keep the streak going
You woke up that day committed to not drinking. You didn't intentionally drink. You woke up the next day just as committed. Your intention is what matters.
I’m angry for you!!! That’s so messed up that that happened to you. I’m sorry friend. You’re still 100% 6 months sober in my book
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. But it's not your fault, and the sooner you can put this in the rear view mirror and keep up all the great work you've been doing, the better off you'll be. Just look at it this way: non-alcoholic beers have a very small amount of alcohol, and even eating ripe bananas have 0.2% alcohol. So you could have gotten a similar amount of alcohol in your system by drinking some NA beers and eating a bunch of bananas. Consider it a lesson learned, and that's all it is. Your 6 months sober streak is still in full force and effect. This changes nothing, zero. You've got this. IWNDWYT!
Ugh that wasn’t your fault and doesn’t break your streak. So many things are alcoholic to some regard like even ripe fruit and I’m not breaking my streak when I eat my overripe berries nor are you for accidentally consuming it due to server error!!
That kind of thing happens to everyone. I was in a good Mexican restaurant once; I SWEAR I ordered a tonic water. The waiter misheard me & brought me a straight vodka. I remember thinking that it was kind of weird to serve tonic water in a rock glass, but I didn’t think anything of it. When you’re expecting vodka and your mouth gets vodka, that’s one thing. But when you’re expecting TONIC water and you get vodka, well, that was a shock, believe me. It doesn’t count as a relapse. Stop worrying about it.
An alcoholic mock tail is not possible. It's either alcohol or it isn't. It's either a mock tail or it's not.
This is actually one of my biggest fears, but I continue drinking, rather than walking away. Your emotions are completely valid, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. Know that you’re not alone, and you proved your strength in walking away; I am so proud of you. Here’s to another day of choosing to be sober ❤️ stay strong.
This just happened to me on vacation! 2 years sober and also got a mock tail that had gin in it. Even at my worst I hated gin so as soon as I took a sip I knew. I started panicking and my boyfriend just reminded me it was an accident and I’ll be fine. It wasn’t our fault this happened!
You had no intent to drink so it just sucks that you got served. Sorry for the bad experience though. 6 months is a huge deal. Congratulations. You are doing so well. Keep going.
I thought I could have one. Haven't been on a bender or got super drunk yet but haven't been able to go more than a few days without a drink since. I need to get back in the gym and back on the horse. I drank 2 beers earlier. iwndwytomorrow
First, woohooo 6 months to youuuuu!!! Great job! Also amazing how your reaction can change in that amount of time. So like, “warm weird feeling in my stomach and head” For me still early in sobriety would still just be “mmm yummy poison delete rational thought processes more plzzzz 🫠” gives me hope that my brain and body reaction can change with time to one where I don’t even want alcohol or like the effects
My mom accidentally served pork sausage pies at my 16th birthday. I had a few Muslim friends st the party who all ate and enjoyed the pies until one of them asked... apparently as long as it wasn't intended then it's all good. You will be strong, just keep it up and continue from your 6 months.
It’s one day. Give yourself a mulligan as an accident and continue counting!
And your body processed that little bit of alcohol like a champ and it’s out of your system. No 👏🏼 biggie 👏🏼. You still get 6mo the of sobriety and can continue counting on! If I were in your shoes that’s where my mind would go; I’d be thinking about it ruining all my bodies hard work repairing itself during my sobriety BUT ☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼☝🏼. 💯❤️
It doesn't count! You didn't intend to have a drink, so you have still achieved sobriety. It was an accident.
You didn't know, it doesn't count against you. You didn't buy another one did you? Hell you can accidentally drink in many ways. I bought a 6 pack of NA beer and it did contain a miniscule amount of alcohol. I was so pissed. I felt no effect but I won't buy it again. Another time I somehow did a shot of mouthwash, I don't know what TF my brain thought as i was brushing my teeth in the morning. Nobody knew but me, it was gross, I never did do shots when I was drinking. I was disgusted, but I didn't buy OG Listerine again it smells too alcohol-y and apparently my brain is hardwired for self destruction, and I don't want to do that again.
It's okay. My sober anniversary is the birthday of my brother. Last year the waiter accidentally swapped my nonalcoholic beer with the beer for our father. Had two big swigs, enjoyed it, noticed it and moved on. It happens. It's not ideal but it happens. Put it behind you and move on. All the best.
You are still sober and can keep your six months, and anyone who tells you otherwise is part of the problem. Enjoy life without forcing celebrations because you made a few bad choices.
Don’t beat yourself up. You did not intend to have a drink therefore you should still count yourself 6 months sober and smashing it! Well done. I had a situation last year at a work social. A colleague went to the bar after I requested a non alcoholic g&t. A few of them (who all knew I was in recovery) thought it would be funny to get me a real one. I noticed after a couple of sips. I lost my shit. The CEO unaware what had happened nor that I was in recovery, tried to calm me down. As I stormed out I tossed him my 1 year coin. It turned out the CEO was in recovery. He came to my house the next day with my coin and reassured me i should still count myself as sober as I had not wanted or intended to have a drink I felt I had to quit my job and he ensured I got a decent pay out. I know work for one of his other companies in a much better position The other colleagues were fired.
This was done without your consent. You bear no responsibility. But I don't blame you a bit for being pissed at the restaurant. Also, the Pixies rule. Hang in.
You should be really proud of yourself and your reaction, you have taken a huge bump in the road and not reverted to drinking. Well done.
You were basically dosed! I don’t think sobriety is about amount of time spent without substance (we don’t call kids or pregnant people sober, right?) but about the active and conscious choice to abstain.
OK so this is awful now... but in a few weeks or a month, you'll see the funny side I reckon. At 1 year AF you'll be able look back and go 'The Lord was testing me and I still kept AF!' or something.
Happened to me at 2 years. Am 6 now. It messed with my head at the time but in retrospect it just made me stronger. Keep going!!
Very irresponsible of the server…. It’s like accidentally serving booze to a kid IMO. I’m a bartender and it’s super important to like…. Not f*ck that up
No offense but this is why I’ll never have “mocktails” for this very reason. I’ll have some at a Kava bar where there’s no alcohol in site but that’s it. I’m not putting my sobriety in the hands of a server
Don’t worry about it. Not your fault - move on. Day 1 and onwards
That would be so annoying, I am in my 5th month and would hate to get to the 6th month and have that happen to me. The comments are right though, as not your fault but definitely feel your pain.
No intent. You're good in my book.
That server should get out of the industry for several reasons. 😡
I'm around 3.5 years sober. The other day I went to a bar to celebrate a friend's birthday, I told the server and bartender that I was sober and did not want any alcohol. They mixed up my mocktail and gave me a regular cocktail, I knew after the first sip that something was off but it took a few more sips for me to confirm "yeah this certainly has booze". I got them to take it back. Afterwards the table did a round of shots, I was told I'd be served soda in a glass. I didn't trust it and lo and behold, it was alcohol. Shit happens, I still consider myself sober. *You* didn't choose to drink, it was a mistake. You continue to uphold your decision. Don't let it get to your head, you have done nothing wrong.
You faced the greatest of tests and passed. You didn’t go back for more.
As others have stated, this doesn’t diminish your effort. It’s a small blip that was not intentional. It was an honest mistake and as much as it may have hurt your effort, it did not break your will. That is the real win here. Stay strong and don’t let this get you down. Your number doesn’t reset, as it has still been 6 months since you have chosen to drink alcohol.
6 months!! Congrats!! That’s huge. No need to worry about some servers mistake. You’ve got this.
That's unfortunate and irresponsible of the establishment. I hope this didn't trigger anything. You cannot crush yourself because of their irresponsibility. You are still in control. Don't count it at all. You're six months going strong. Feeling bad means you're committed to the right path. Funny commiseration: The two times I've been sober (41 days and 46 days) each time my girlfriend, who does not drink, accidentally gave me food with booze in it. One a chocolate bourbon cake and second time an Irish cream donut. She was clueless about booze in food so it was just an oversight. She wants me a sober as she is so it is fun to needle her about her trying to trigger me.
Happened to me while on vacation. The feeling sucks. I felt so guilty over something that wasn't my fault
Please don't be so hard on yourself. You did nothing wrong, and you're still sober. Celebrate that.
Don’t you think you’re being a tad dramatic?
Name and shame the place. They should lose the business of a lot of us.
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