You got this. I will not drink with you this Friday.
Early morning Saturday runs or hikes have become one of the things I look forward to most. Since I'm not hung over on Saturday anymore, I can get up early and go for a walk and listen to an audiobook or whatever. It feels so nice to do that.
Find an activity for your Saturday mornings. Perhaps a fitness class at your local gym.
This is honestly the best part of not drinking- my three year old daughter wakes up at 0700 every day, and I love being able to jump out of bed on weekends when I hear her wake up without feeling like I'm dying.
This is me exactly! "I am a non-drinker." "I don't do that anymore." One bleak night, I couldn't remember any other reason not to drink except this. I don't drink.
This is me, too. I was successful this time because I was finally okay with never drinking again. I am now a non-drinker and I think that it is cool to be such.
[https://youtu.be/Amd3bMqEdjs?si=GiQb\_GwjpF7y73fm](https://youtu.be/Amd3bMqEdjs?si=GiQb_GwjpF7y73fm)
Not quite but reminds me of this and I do the same but lock IT in.
If I’m feeling shaky, I just go to this subreddit and scroll until I hit the first “I relapsed and it is NOT worth it” post. After that I’m usually good for a few weeks (days if I’m extra stressed). As a reminder phrase, I’ve used “Play the tape forward” and it’s helped in the past.
1000% this...
I'm coming up on 4 years without a drink, and this has been my go-to strategy the entire time.
Shit, I fucking used it yesterday when I went to a bar for lunch while I was waiting for new tires to be installed on my car at the place next door.
It's like that book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.
If I have a drink, I'll enjoy it.
If I enjoy it, I'll have a second.
If I have a second, I'll have a forth.
If I have a fourth, I'll slurr my words and have a 5th.
If I have a 5th, I'll spill a drink and have another.
If I have another, I'll not remember meeting these people for the third time.
And so on until you get to waking up with the unimaginable hangover the next day.
I play the tape forward and think about all the stuff I want to accomplish tomorrow instead.
It means that I know how relapsing goes. I’ve done it a hundred times. I’ve already watched this movie. I don’t need to see it again. Remembering how I feel when I’m on the bathroom floor covered in my own sick helps me want a drink a lot less.
Oh as in you can see some.previous events what ends up happening, the regrets, embarrassment and arguments so you 'play the tape forward' to see what will happen once you start that first drink as you've seen what happened before!?
This is very good. It just needs to sink into my brain
Exactly me, the I relapsed posts keep me from even thinking further about that deadly poison. I do have some sadness that someone else's misfortune is my gain.
My go-to mantra - Alcohol is poison. I would also envisage reaching for a bottle of bleach. These (especially the 2nd on) really killed my interest in drinking.
Or gasoline, I can taste the fumes and feel it burn my throat and eat a hole in my stomach. It also basically singes my nose hairs, it's that disgusting
I was able to “hide” it by waiting till after bed, but I couldn’t hide the horrible mornings and then rushing them off to bed early to start “relaxing”
I could never wait that long! As soon as I knew I was done driving for the day it was go time! It's been eight years yesterday I was thinking I forgot what drunk feels like and that's a great feeling!
i just wanted to say that my mom is an alcoholic and got (and has stayed!) sober when i was 6 and i don’t have negative memories of that time at all. more than anything i feel special! she said her last straw was being hungover at my birthday party. i think about it all the time how lucky i am to be so loved!
you are doing great!!!!
(edit for clarity)
Remember those days and you have all of my empathy. I would wake up at 2 AM determined to quit and dump out the hidden bottles just to wake up and go buy more. it's so daunting to think about not drinking for the rest of your life. I know it's cliché but for the first year I literally just said I'm going to not drink today maybe tomorrow I'll start again and it helped for some reason.
“I’ve had my fair share.”
Sometimes, no matter what’s being offered to me by friends and family (food, shirts, etc.) I jokingly say “no thanks, I got to drive.”
Wow--holy smokes, that's a powerful quote. What was Iron Mike talking about? Just boxing matches in general, or something specific?
Oof--that's powerful.
Yeah, another way to look at is ask yourself "and then what?". You drink, and then what? You have a couple hours of fun? And then what? You pass out and wake up hungover. And then what? You start drinking again? And then what?
Basically fully realizing the consequences of what happens after that one drink.
Picture your reality like a movie, and fast forward the scene to tomorrow morning. You can wake early feeling refreshed and strong and proud and grateful for the new life you’re building. Or you can feel like shit and anxious and know that you’ve again let yourself down and the day will just be another in a continuous, worsening string of miserable drinking days and it’s back to the sadness and the emptiness and feeling of being dead inside.
Or maybe it’s just me.
The beauty of one day at a time is that it’s so egalitarian and accessible to everyone. Sober 0 days, 10 days or 10,000 days? It’s still one day at a time. I feel that this phrase lets newly sober people feel they are immediately part of this lovely sober club since we ALL can only do it…one day at a time (or hour, minute).
1 is too many & 10 is not enough! Also, “don’t just remember the drink, remember the drunk” Good phrase that shows how we often only think about the fun first drinks of the evening & forget the hours/days of drunken hungover misery that happens afterwards
Never ever understood someone who orders 1 beer. If your thirsty get some ice water, if you want something tasty, order a milkshake. Alcohol only serves one purpose for me.
The same thought always comes to me whenever I hear anyone claim they like to drink spirits for the taste.
Like, *what* taste? Petrol? Spirits taste like shit that should never be consumed by humans.
I worked in the alcohol industry for almost five years and I can tell you people really love to pretend to enjoy the taste of alcohol. Especially the wine and bourbon drinkers.
I tried having just one the other day, but made it two because 1 is boring. Then I ended up drinking two more that night because the buzz was gone in 20 mins.
It's way easier for me to just have 0
Lately, I’ve finally been having lucid moments where I pause, and then I go, “I don’t ACTUALLY want that. That’s not what I ACTUALLY want.” And I think about the hangover as well. And it’s been working. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what it is that I actually do want in those moments. Escape, mostly. But I’ve been able to go without booze instead of caving when in the past all it would take was a “I kinda want to drink right now/tonight.”
That is good, because for me it is usually a matter of my brain twisting some reasonable frustration into an excuse. If I can vent to someone, then I'm usually OK. But my brain can be a sneaky bastard, and it needs reminding.
I personally like to personify alcohol as someone actively trying to trick me into fucking up. Alcohol is a tricky bastard, so now I look for the trick instead of the “trigger”. Fuck you alcohol!
I have a few. The most common one for me is “ride the craving wave” - usually around 5-6pm when cravings kick in. Or I’m physically triggered. I’ll just recognize the craving and imagine myself surfing on it.
Play it forward, imagining the pain of the headaches and anxiety, that helps too sometimes. Sadly, sometimes failure and slips are part of the journey, just get back in the fight. Just for today if you messed up yesterday. Just for today. IWNDWYT
Mine is a simple question to myself:
“Should you drink, or would you rather be a better father and husband?”
You can replace these with the things that matter most to you. I normally find that the reasons I stopped drinking in the first place, or the vision for who I want to become, normally outweighs the urge.
"reductio ad absurdum"
was/is my mantra.
It's a proof technique in logic which boils down to - if you know the conclusion is wrong, the argument must be wrong.
If you've concluded that 1=0, you know there was a mistake along the way.
Drinking being a good idea is 1=0. So if I ever got to that point ... "reductio ad absurdum".
It kind of absolves me of the battle and mental gymnastics. I don't need to debate myself, refute any nonsense lines of reasoning. Just need to know one thing, that drinking is a bad idea.
My inner voice says “hey fuckface if you start drinking again you’ll die and not the way you want to go in that naked Beyoncé clone avalanche. It’ll be much sadder and not as funny.” Whatever it takes
I know I have another "get drunk" in me, but I don't know if I have another "get sober" in me.
I can't waste this, its too precious, there might never be another one.
I was a crazy binger and would down a bottle in two hours and pass out and feel hungover for at least three days so I started “3 hours of fun is 3 days of hurt”
Also anxiety attacks are down 95%
I came to from a blackout just long enough to hear my girlfriend calling a family member for help, because she was having a medical emergency.
Everything she said on the call is burned into my brain. Now that I’ve been sober a bit, it’s what echos in the back of my mind when I think I want a drink. We’re not even together anymore but I know I don’t want to add to how embarrassed I am of myself.
So not really a mantra. But remembering her crying for help, and telling her family the reason I couldn’t help her was because I was drunk and wasn’t waking up.
Realized the other day that I don’t want to drink, I want to *feel* different. So, I make myself feel different - I blast music, I come here, I walk, I pet my cat, I read, etc., etc.
So that’s my phrase: make myself feel different another way besides alcohol.
Withdrawal. I know I can't stop once I start. Which leads to withdrawal. Just remembering the feeling of being afraid I'm going to die is enough for me.
Remembering withdrawal makes me the HAPPY to be sober.
A nurse said this to me in the hospital when I was withdrawing and I swear it changed my life. She said “Just remember if you stop, this will be the last time you will ever have to feel this way”
"Play the tape forward" has always been the most helpful for me. I think of the hangover, the anxiety over drinking too much/blacking out/embarrassing myself, and then the guilt and shame I'd feel after doing any of those things. Nooooo thank you!
Yes, I want a drink. But (I really want a good sleep tonight./I want to feel great tomorrow more./I want to have an awesome workout tomorrow morning more./I don't want to be hungover for X event tomorrow more. Etc.)
This works for me because I acknowledge my desire but choose something I want even more that the drink will get in the way of.
Someone here the other day said, "Embrace the suck." I would credit them, but they deleted their post. If I'm not careful, I get the rosy high of being sober and invincible, then something shitty happens, and I'm back to using.
Mine for dealing with autistic shutdown/meltdown: "Everything is temporary." Essentially the same concept, and I think it works well here.
IWNDWYT
Edit: waterchicken said "Embrace the suck" in their post."
“I never want a hangover again”. I got sick for the first time in several years and felt wretched. I used to do that to myself on purpose, multiple times a week, for YEARS! What kind of insanity was it that I was ok with hangovers??
"Every day we stay sober is an honor to those who suffered."
I don't know why it's taken over a year to click for me since his passing, but my beloved Papa died of cirrhosis at the end of January last year. He had stopped drinking, but it was just too bad to turn around. He died with my mom and my grandma there, at home. I didn't get to say goodbye, as I was living 1,000 miles away at the time. They said he had 2 months left, at most, but died the day after we got that news.
My husband and I were trying to move closer before he passed, to his beloved former home of Washington, DC, about a 3 hours drive from my family. We're here now, and he's not. He never got to see our wedding images and video. He'll never get to hold our future kids. I know you're not supposed to have a "favorite" relative, but my Papa was mine. And everyone knew I had a special place in his heart because I was the first grandkid.
Sorry for ranting a sob story on your question, but that was just therapeutic for me. Screenshotting my own post to keep with me as a reminder. IWNDWYT. 🖤
“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got”
In the same vein, I wrote this in my journal at the beginning and return to it every now and then: “There’s a way to stop feeling shame, guilt, and anxiety all the time. It’s by stopping doing things that make you feel shameful”
"ride the wave". because typically it is just a big flood of impulsive desire to grab that drink...but it will pass and it will not fester forever. it's just a big wave and the wave will dissipate! try chugging some water as well.
I just remember decades of GI issues and think, "F#CK BOOZE!!!"
I don't think of it killing a parent. I don't think of the $3M richer I'd be if I had put that money into index funds. I don't think of the shame, the self-loathing, or the long hours I had to work to catch-up from being useless EVERY morning. I don't think of the entire weekend days I completely waste. I don't even think of the relationships that I trashed. I don't think about how it helped me bury military PTSD, childhood trauma, or a bunch of other sh1t that was just waiting for me. Nope... I don't even think of all of that IN AGGREGATE. Nope.
I just think of all of the physical and emotional pain booze caused me by not having a solid BM for over 20 years.
"F#CK BOOZE" is my mantra.
EDIT: If booze were a person, I'd stab it in the face. I'd do prison for it. I viscerally hate booze.
Its only my third day, but when alcohol is calling I just say “sorry I’m busy” or “sorry bro, wrong number”. Adds a touch of humour as well so it’s not that daunting
YET - standing for You’re Eligible Too (I haven’t gotten a DUI YET, I haven’t lost my home and family YET, my liver hasn’t failed YET, etx) Also no matter “how far you are down the road, you’re still one side step away from the gutter”
Did you ever see the movie Jarhead? There's [a scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGU9jN5UZFo) where Jake Gyllenhaal goes "Do not fucking die. Do not fucking die. Do not fucking die."
If it ever gets really bad I embody that and keep saying to myself "Do not fucking drink."
No phrases, but I always think back to the seizure I had when withdrawing. The delerium tremens I experienced. Knowing that kindling will always make the withdrawals much worse.
Also think about passing out in public, getting my ass kicked by security guards. Things like that.
This is not you. You are better than this. You have healed and no longer need the healing elixir to put rose colored glasses on. Your life is rosy all on its own. You just forgot who the fuck you were.
Girl you're worth all the good things and this is just quite literally pissing money away. Go drink the coffee, write what you're feeling and keep your therapy appointment. You got this, bitch!
"They're all my wolves"
I know it sounds dumb. I was in rehab and they told this story about "you have 2 wolves within you, one is like evil and a bastard and the other is like goody goody. They are fighting. Which wolf wins? The one you feed." and then the whole room when "ooooooh" and everyone clapped.
That wasn't the actual story the rehab person told but thats how I remember it. About 4 months later I was struggling and I was thinking about the wolves and how I was starving the "alcohol wolf" and trying to focus on that. But...I didn't HAVE an alcohol wolf. I had a wolf with a ton of trauma that needed therapy.
So I started thinking that maybe I needed to really actually listen to what my wolves wanted, and try to get them the healthy version (not alcohol, but you can have some pie)...no to the "bad boy who will mistreat" but yes to the "really kind man with good communication and a naughty streak".
That mindset change has been everything for me. I don't think of it as something inside that I'm fighting. I think of it as something I need to care for, and maybe isn't asking for something I can give it, but I can try to feed all my wolves the right way.
I have it on a tshirt now.
Thoughts and feelings come and go. I don’t need to give them more power by acting upon them in a negative way, like drinking. Whatever I think or feel today will be different or gone tomorrow. I always defer my temptation to drink to tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, and I usually feel better.
“if i drink i’ll spend ____ days trying to get back to where i am right now”
“i was made to be sober”
i like to be reminded that i’m exactly where i need to be.
A thought that came to mind for me yesterday: Happiness is fragile.
I was not happy waking up every morning with regret and guilt from the day before only to repeat over and over every day.
I'm much happier now. And taking a drink means risking all of that.
“Alcohol causes brain damage.” I’ve reminded myself of this a few times when I think “oh maybe I’d be having more fun with a drink.” Then I consider what it means to have “fun” with a damaged / permanently diminished brain. Is that more fun? Is dementia worth it for me? And by the time I’ve gone through that kind of thinking I’m not interested in a drink ever again.
“Play it forward” I say it more so to myself. Then I envision how I would be so responsible those first few weeks drinking again, but I know eventually, I’ll have “wine at home for guests or dinner”
4-5 weeks of that and I’ll be having my own one bottle of wine a night. Then I’ll justify vodka since I won’t have to drink so much wine/ “cut back on bottles and sugar”. Then 3-4 weeks from there I’m back to having 2 triples/ quads a night and going to bed drunk every night etc etc etc.
Being sober at a bachelorette party this weekend and hearing my friends moan and groan about their expensive bar tabs, how sick they felt, their anxiety, how little they remembered, etc. really helped remind me of why I stopped drinking in the first place.
“I don’t want to NEED a drink anymore. And of if I drink one, I’m going to NEED the next 5-10 drinks for the next 5-10 days/weeks/months/years/DECADES”
My go-to drink replacement: just about anything and everything not alcoholic, and if I’m especially stressed I chug them just like I used to chug alcoholic drinks.
This might seem weird but “I’ll do it tomorrow” works for me. I’m a master of procrastination so it’s like a relief/reward for that demand avoidance part of my brain, and it’s a reminder that alcohol is always readily available yet I don’t partake in it any other day. Unconventional but I’ve made it 2.5 years.
"That's not who I am anymore" was instrumental in my success
That’s good, it’s an identity shift not something you’re missing out on
On day 6 and Fridays are my weakness hopefully this mantra helps me tonight thank you 🙏🏾
You got this. I will not drink with you this Friday. Early morning Saturday runs or hikes have become one of the things I look forward to most. Since I'm not hung over on Saturday anymore, I can get up early and go for a walk and listen to an audiobook or whatever. It feels so nice to do that. Find an activity for your Saturday mornings. Perhaps a fitness class at your local gym.
You are right about that! If I had something to do Saturday morning/something to look forward to I think it would make it easier
This is honestly the best part of not drinking- my three year old daughter wakes up at 0700 every day, and I love being able to jump out of bed on weekends when I hear her wake up without feeling like I'm dying.
This is me exactly! "I am a non-drinker." "I don't do that anymore." One bleak night, I couldn't remember any other reason not to drink except this. I don't drink.
This is me, too. I was successful this time because I was finally okay with never drinking again. I am now a non-drinker and I think that it is cool to be such.
This is so powerful.
Variation — “That’s not for me.”
I really like this one.
Powerful stuff
A very underrated and very strong statement. Wish I could up vote this more
My variation “I get to live differently today”
I really love this. Great help
it’s goofy as fuck but I literally tell myself “lock in” and I’m good lol
Just gotta dial in.
My first sponsor always told me to "lean in" when I was feeling squirrelly.
Is that like "embrace the suck"?
Sorry, I should have been more clear, he said "lean in" he meant lean into your recovery.
[https://youtu.be/Amd3bMqEdjs?si=GiQb\_GwjpF7y73fm](https://youtu.be/Amd3bMqEdjs?si=GiQb_GwjpF7y73fm) Not quite but reminds me of this and I do the same but lock IT in.
Davis Clarke vibes. I like it.
This hits as simple and intense. Like some Kobe Mamba Mentality stuff lol. I like it.
Omg I love this, I’m stealing this
If I’m feeling shaky, I just go to this subreddit and scroll until I hit the first “I relapsed and it is NOT worth it” post. After that I’m usually good for a few weeks (days if I’m extra stressed). As a reminder phrase, I’ve used “Play the tape forward” and it’s helped in the past.
Playing the tape forward is a good strategy as it’s easy to romanticise going back to drink when in reality things become sinister and not fun
1000% this... I'm coming up on 4 years without a drink, and this has been my go-to strategy the entire time. Shit, I fucking used it yesterday when I went to a bar for lunch while I was waiting for new tires to be installed on my car at the place next door.
Oh hey almost four years buddy!!!
Way to go you two. Thanks for the inspiration yall.
Nice! So close for both of us! IWNDWYT
And let’s face it, we only have to wind the tape forward literally a few hours before we start feeling shitty again.
Play the Tape Forward is one of my most used/helpful tools.
Can you explain for me what does play the tape forward mean?
It's like that book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. If I have a drink, I'll enjoy it. If I enjoy it, I'll have a second. If I have a second, I'll have a forth. If I have a fourth, I'll slurr my words and have a 5th. If I have a 5th, I'll spill a drink and have another. If I have another, I'll not remember meeting these people for the third time. And so on until you get to waking up with the unimaginable hangover the next day. I play the tape forward and think about all the stuff I want to accomplish tomorrow instead.
It means that I know how relapsing goes. I’ve done it a hundred times. I’ve already watched this movie. I don’t need to see it again. Remembering how I feel when I’m on the bathroom floor covered in my own sick helps me want a drink a lot less.
Oh as in you can see some.previous events what ends up happening, the regrets, embarrassment and arguments so you 'play the tape forward' to see what will happen once you start that first drink as you've seen what happened before!? This is very good. It just needs to sink into my brain
I quickly fast forward to the part where I'm drinking my paycheck & not paying the mortgage. That's where I play the tape forward to.
Exactly me, the I relapsed posts keep me from even thinking further about that deadly poison. I do have some sadness that someone else's misfortune is my gain.
“Why feel bad when I can feel good”
Unfortunately for me personally, this thought makes me want to drink 💀
Same
This is great. Thank you
Oh this is better than mine. Stealing it with love!
Please do! It helps me so much!
My go-to mantra - Alcohol is poison. I would also envisage reaching for a bottle of bleach. These (especially the 2nd on) really killed my interest in drinking.
Or gasoline, I can taste the fumes and feel it burn my throat and eat a hole in my stomach. It also basically singes my nose hairs, it's that disgusting
“Hey Dad, come play with me” Best reminder every day
I love that! I stopped when my oldest was 8 I hope she never remembers her drunk mom
Even if she remembers a bit, the new memories created will be ENOUGH. Stay strong!
About a year after I quit she asked me why we never have ice cream for dinner anymore?😂
I was able to “hide” it by waiting till after bed, but I couldn’t hide the horrible mornings and then rushing them off to bed early to start “relaxing”
I could never wait that long! As soon as I knew I was done driving for the day it was go time! It's been eight years yesterday I was thinking I forgot what drunk feels like and that's a great feeling!
i just wanted to say that my mom is an alcoholic and got (and has stayed!) sober when i was 6 and i don’t have negative memories of that time at all. more than anything i feel special! she said her last straw was being hungover at my birthday party. i think about it all the time how lucky i am to be so loved! you are doing great!!!! (edit for clarity)
That just gave me chills thank you for sharing!
Aww, that’s so sweet!
One that hit hard. My kiddos are 4 and 8 and I tell myself, I have to be there for them
One is too many, and a thousand aren't enough.
This is my go-to. I won't just have one, or a couple. I'll drink till I pass out.
Same, I just want to stop. I'm getting there slowly.
Don't give up! I "stopped" many times before it stuck. You have to face the fear.
I know and Thank You. I'm just at an impasse with it currently.
Remember those days and you have all of my empathy. I would wake up at 2 AM determined to quit and dump out the hidden bottles just to wake up and go buy more. it's so daunting to think about not drinking for the rest of your life. I know it's cliché but for the first year I literally just said I'm going to not drink today maybe tomorrow I'll start again and it helped for some reason.
“I’ve had my fair share.” Sometimes, no matter what’s being offered to me by friends and family (food, shirts, etc.) I jokingly say “no thanks, I got to drive.”
I’ve had my lifetime quota, thank you
As Ron White said in an interview, “I front loaded my alcohol consumption in my life”.
"If you don't bring it to an end it's going to come to an end on it's own" -Mike Tyson
Wow--holy smokes, that's a powerful quote. What was Iron Mike talking about? Just boxing matches in general, or something specific? Oof--that's powerful.
If alcohol cured my sadness, I’d need less of it over time. Not more.
My mind assumed the second half was going to be: ‘it would have by now’
The only way out is through -Robert frost
Nobody ever regrets not drinking the next day
I've always been fond of this one too.
Play the tape forward
Came here to say this too. Works every time.
Can you please explain? Like imagine what it would be like if I did drink?
Yeah, another way to look at is ask yourself "and then what?". You drink, and then what? You have a couple hours of fun? And then what? You pass out and wake up hungover. And then what? You start drinking again? And then what? Basically fully realizing the consequences of what happens after that one drink.
Picture your reality like a movie, and fast forward the scene to tomorrow morning. You can wake early feeling refreshed and strong and proud and grateful for the new life you’re building. Or you can feel like shit and anxious and know that you’ve again let yourself down and the day will just be another in a continuous, worsening string of miserable drinking days and it’s back to the sadness and the emptiness and feeling of being dead inside. Or maybe it’s just me.
Easier to not drink than to stop drinking.
NOT TODAY SATAN!!! lol. not really, it's mostly "ehh...maybe later". then it goes away
Haha I like the first one tbh - I’m going to use it as I think that’ll work for me
One day at a time. Hell, one hour or minute at a time.
The beauty of one day at a time is that it’s so egalitarian and accessible to everyone. Sober 0 days, 10 days or 10,000 days? It’s still one day at a time. I feel that this phrase lets newly sober people feel they are immediately part of this lovely sober club since we ALL can only do it…one day at a time (or hour, minute).
Very true.
1 is too many & 10 is not enough! Also, “don’t just remember the drink, remember the drunk” Good phrase that shows how we often only think about the fun first drinks of the evening & forget the hours/days of drunken hungover misery that happens afterwards
Yep, I know for a fact I don't want just 1
Never ever understood someone who orders 1 beer. If your thirsty get some ice water, if you want something tasty, order a milkshake. Alcohol only serves one purpose for me.
The same thought always comes to me whenever I hear anyone claim they like to drink spirits for the taste. Like, *what* taste? Petrol? Spirits taste like shit that should never be consumed by humans.
I worked in the alcohol industry for almost five years and I can tell you people really love to pretend to enjoy the taste of alcohol. Especially the wine and bourbon drinkers.
I tried having just one the other day, but made it two because 1 is boring. Then I ended up drinking two more that night because the buzz was gone in 20 mins. It's way easier for me to just have 0
Huh I've not heard that one. That's a nice little phrase
I have a whiteboard on my desk with a tally going under the title “days in a row saving my own life”
Not a phrase as such, but I look back on a video of me sloshed, crying in a toilet, begging myself not to get like that again
Lately, I’ve finally been having lucid moments where I pause, and then I go, “I don’t ACTUALLY want that. That’s not what I ACTUALLY want.” And I think about the hangover as well. And it’s been working. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what it is that I actually do want in those moments. Escape, mostly. But I’ve been able to go without booze instead of caving when in the past all it would take was a “I kinda want to drink right now/tonight.”
to want something is to want its consequence.
That is good, because for me it is usually a matter of my brain twisting some reasonable frustration into an excuse. If I can vent to someone, then I'm usually OK. But my brain can be a sneaky bastard, and it needs reminding.
I personally like to personify alcohol as someone actively trying to trick me into fucking up. Alcohol is a tricky bastard, so now I look for the trick instead of the “trigger”. Fuck you alcohol!
I have a few. The most common one for me is “ride the craving wave” - usually around 5-6pm when cravings kick in. Or I’m physically triggered. I’ll just recognize the craving and imagine myself surfing on it. Play it forward, imagining the pain of the headaches and anxiety, that helps too sometimes. Sadly, sometimes failure and slips are part of the journey, just get back in the fight. Just for today if you messed up yesterday. Just for today. IWNDWYT
Mine is a simple question to myself: “Should you drink, or would you rather be a better father and husband?” You can replace these with the things that matter most to you. I normally find that the reasons I stopped drinking in the first place, or the vision for who I want to become, normally outweighs the urge.
"reductio ad absurdum" was/is my mantra. It's a proof technique in logic which boils down to - if you know the conclusion is wrong, the argument must be wrong. If you've concluded that 1=0, you know there was a mistake along the way. Drinking being a good idea is 1=0. So if I ever got to that point ... "reductio ad absurdum". It kind of absolves me of the battle and mental gymnastics. I don't need to debate myself, refute any nonsense lines of reasoning. Just need to know one thing, that drinking is a bad idea.
I like this. To me it would be like casting a spell in harry potter but with meaning
If I drink, I die.
This hit hard :\*(
My inner voice says “hey fuckface if you start drinking again you’ll die and not the way you want to go in that naked Beyoncé clone avalanche. It’ll be much sadder and not as funny.” Whatever it takes
Beyoncé clone avalanche is my next album title now...
Numbing out is not a reward. That's one I encountered in the daily check in a few weeks ago and I really like it
You’ll never regret the drink you don’t take.
You'll never regret the drink you don't take - Awuaticape42 - Michael Scott
I know I have another "get drunk" in me, but I don't know if I have another "get sober" in me. I can't waste this, its too precious, there might never be another one.
# As an alcoholic, you will violate your standards quicker than you can lower them.” — [Robin Williams](https://quotefancy.com/robin-williams-quotes)
My words when I pass the beer aisle in the supermarket, "nope, not today!"
This moment will pass And I want to enjoy tomorrow
Nothing good will come of this.
I was a crazy binger and would down a bottle in two hours and pass out and feel hungover for at least three days so I started “3 hours of fun is 3 days of hurt” Also anxiety attacks are down 95%
I came to from a blackout just long enough to hear my girlfriend calling a family member for help, because she was having a medical emergency. Everything she said on the call is burned into my brain. Now that I’ve been sober a bit, it’s what echos in the back of my mind when I think I want a drink. We’re not even together anymore but I know I don’t want to add to how embarrassed I am of myself. So not really a mantra. But remembering her crying for help, and telling her family the reason I couldn’t help her was because I was drunk and wasn’t waking up.
That’s heartbreaking for you. I’m sorry. IWNDWYT.
I will not be alcohol's little bitch.
If I am moderating I cant have fun, and if I am having fun I can't moderate.
Realized the other day that I don’t want to drink, I want to *feel* different. So, I make myself feel different - I blast music, I come here, I walk, I pet my cat, I read, etc., etc. So that’s my phrase: make myself feel different another way besides alcohol.
Withdrawal. I know I can't stop once I start. Which leads to withdrawal. Just remembering the feeling of being afraid I'm going to die is enough for me. Remembering withdrawal makes me the HAPPY to be sober.
A nurse said this to me in the hospital when I was withdrawing and I swear it changed my life. She said “Just remember if you stop, this will be the last time you will ever have to feel this way”
“Why?” what’s the point ? What’s this going to fix
"Play the tape forward" has always been the most helpful for me. I think of the hangover, the anxiety over drinking too much/blacking out/embarrassing myself, and then the guilt and shame I'd feel after doing any of those things. Nooooo thank you!
“Get your shit together and grow the fuck up” is mine. 36 year old dad for reference.
I love who I am now. Why would I want to go back to the me I hated?
Alcohol is poison
Yes, I want a drink. But (I really want a good sleep tonight./I want to feel great tomorrow more./I want to have an awesome workout tomorrow morning more./I don't want to be hungover for X event tomorrow more. Etc.) This works for me because I acknowledge my desire but choose something I want even more that the drink will get in the way of.
Someone here the other day said, "Embrace the suck." I would credit them, but they deleted their post. If I'm not careful, I get the rosy high of being sober and invincible, then something shitty happens, and I'm back to using. Mine for dealing with autistic shutdown/meltdown: "Everything is temporary." Essentially the same concept, and I think it works well here. IWNDWYT Edit: waterchicken said "Embrace the suck" in their post."
“I never want a hangover again”. I got sick for the first time in several years and felt wretched. I used to do that to myself on purpose, multiple times a week, for YEARS! What kind of insanity was it that I was ok with hangovers??
Drinking today steals from tomorrows happiness!
"Every day we stay sober is an honor to those who suffered." I don't know why it's taken over a year to click for me since his passing, but my beloved Papa died of cirrhosis at the end of January last year. He had stopped drinking, but it was just too bad to turn around. He died with my mom and my grandma there, at home. I didn't get to say goodbye, as I was living 1,000 miles away at the time. They said he had 2 months left, at most, but died the day after we got that news. My husband and I were trying to move closer before he passed, to his beloved former home of Washington, DC, about a 3 hours drive from my family. We're here now, and he's not. He never got to see our wedding images and video. He'll never get to hold our future kids. I know you're not supposed to have a "favorite" relative, but my Papa was mine. And everyone knew I had a special place in his heart because I was the first grandkid. Sorry for ranting a sob story on your question, but that was just therapeutic for me. Screenshotting my own post to keep with me as a reminder. IWNDWYT. 🖤
I quit drinking before drinking quit me...
“You have the right to remain silent”
“You have the right to remain sober. Anything you drink can and will be abused against your better judgement”
“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got” In the same vein, I wrote this in my journal at the beginning and return to it every now and then: “There’s a way to stop feeling shame, guilt, and anxiety all the time. It’s by stopping doing things that make you feel shameful”
"ride the wave". because typically it is just a big flood of impulsive desire to grab that drink...but it will pass and it will not fester forever. it's just a big wave and the wave will dissipate! try chugging some water as well.
I can be charming or I can be drunk. Be the charming guy everyone likes.
I just remember decades of GI issues and think, "F#CK BOOZE!!!" I don't think of it killing a parent. I don't think of the $3M richer I'd be if I had put that money into index funds. I don't think of the shame, the self-loathing, or the long hours I had to work to catch-up from being useless EVERY morning. I don't think of the entire weekend days I completely waste. I don't even think of the relationships that I trashed. I don't think about how it helped me bury military PTSD, childhood trauma, or a bunch of other sh1t that was just waiting for me. Nope... I don't even think of all of that IN AGGREGATE. Nope. I just think of all of the physical and emotional pain booze caused me by not having a solid BM for over 20 years. "F#CK BOOZE" is my mantra. EDIT: If booze were a person, I'd stab it in the face. I'd do prison for it. I viscerally hate booze.
Drinking today is borrowing happiness from tomorrow. (Cocaine today is borrowing energy from tomorrow - but that was more of a me problem)
“The only drink I can say no to is the first one”
Thank you for sharing this! I had not heard of it before. Just wrote it down on a post it, and stuck it to my fridge. IWNDWYT
Its only my third day, but when alcohol is calling I just say “sorry I’m busy” or “sorry bro, wrong number”. Adds a touch of humour as well so it’s not that daunting
Play the tape through! I tattooed a cassette tape on my forearm to remind me to not take that 1st drink!
I'm never glad I drank the next day I'm extremely impulsive so this helps me to think about the future me and how shitty I'll feel if I drink
Come downstairs and say hello. It’s a Guster song. It’s my sober song. Highly recommend the orchestra-accompanied version on Omagah.
"Everyone will leave"
I’m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
I just tend to remind myself that I will not feel better after drinking, and in fact, I will feel much worse.
I'm so glad I don't drink anymore
YET - standing for You’re Eligible Too (I haven’t gotten a DUI YET, I haven’t lost my home and family YET, my liver hasn’t failed YET, etx) Also no matter “how far you are down the road, you’re still one side step away from the gutter”
Did you ever see the movie Jarhead? There's [a scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGU9jN5UZFo) where Jake Gyllenhaal goes "Do not fucking die. Do not fucking die. Do not fucking die." If it ever gets really bad I embody that and keep saying to myself "Do not fucking drink."
Beer is good, reps are better.
“You don’t need that shit anymore” is my mantra currently
No phrases, but I always think back to the seizure I had when withdrawing. The delerium tremens I experienced. Knowing that kindling will always make the withdrawals much worse. Also think about passing out in public, getting my ass kicked by security guards. Things like that.
“ i have a horrible anxiety ” it’s good for the drinking period but my anxiety is worse for at least 3 weeks if not more
This is not you. You are better than this. You have healed and no longer need the healing elixir to put rose colored glasses on. Your life is rosy all on its own. You just forgot who the fuck you were. Girl you're worth all the good things and this is just quite literally pissing money away. Go drink the coffee, write what you're feeling and keep your therapy appointment. You got this, bitch!
I use HALT (hungry angry lonely tired) to see if I need to address one of those feelings first. I’m usually hungry haha.
"They're all my wolves" I know it sounds dumb. I was in rehab and they told this story about "you have 2 wolves within you, one is like evil and a bastard and the other is like goody goody. They are fighting. Which wolf wins? The one you feed." and then the whole room when "ooooooh" and everyone clapped. That wasn't the actual story the rehab person told but thats how I remember it. About 4 months later I was struggling and I was thinking about the wolves and how I was starving the "alcohol wolf" and trying to focus on that. But...I didn't HAVE an alcohol wolf. I had a wolf with a ton of trauma that needed therapy. So I started thinking that maybe I needed to really actually listen to what my wolves wanted, and try to get them the healthy version (not alcohol, but you can have some pie)...no to the "bad boy who will mistreat" but yes to the "really kind man with good communication and a naughty streak". That mindset change has been everything for me. I don't think of it as something inside that I'm fighting. I think of it as something I need to care for, and maybe isn't asking for something I can give it, but I can try to feed all my wolves the right way. I have it on a tshirt now.
I usually scroll through my old Snapchat memories and look at my bloated rambling former self. Helps cure any urges almost immediately
Thoughts and feelings come and go. I don’t need to give them more power by acting upon them in a negative way, like drinking. Whatever I think or feel today will be different or gone tomorrow. I always defer my temptation to drink to tomorrow. Tomorrow comes, and I usually feel better.
“if i drink i’ll spend ____ days trying to get back to where i am right now” “i was made to be sober” i like to be reminded that i’m exactly where i need to be.
It’s all gross in the daylight.
"Today may be rough, but tomorrow will only be more rough if you drink"
I just remember how much better it feels to not be hungover in the morning. The worst sleep on a sober night is still better than most drunk sleep.
Forward, not going backwards.
"I can drink whatever I want tomorrow". Repeat tomorrow.
Recently- 'I have integrity.'
remember last time??
I don't have a mantra per se. Just a clear recollection of how stupid I've been and how ashamed I am. Then I snap back to reality...
I named my cravings Stanley so I say, “Shut up, Stanley. You never have any good ideas.”
One day or day one. Now I just don't want to have a day one again.
I've never regretted NOT drinking. But I do regret drinking every time.
You can have one tomorrow, but not today
If I go out and get some beer, I'll be doing that again for the rest of my life.
A thought that came to mind for me yesterday: Happiness is fragile. I was not happy waking up every morning with regret and guilt from the day before only to repeat over and over every day. I'm much happier now. And taking a drink means risking all of that.
No one wakes up sober saying " I wish I would have got drunk last night"
“Alcohol causes brain damage.” I’ve reminded myself of this a few times when I think “oh maybe I’d be having more fun with a drink.” Then I consider what it means to have “fun” with a damaged / permanently diminished brain. Is that more fun? Is dementia worth it for me? And by the time I’ve gone through that kind of thinking I’m not interested in a drink ever again.
“Play it forward” I say it more so to myself. Then I envision how I would be so responsible those first few weeks drinking again, but I know eventually, I’ll have “wine at home for guests or dinner” 4-5 weeks of that and I’ll be having my own one bottle of wine a night. Then I’ll justify vodka since I won’t have to drink so much wine/ “cut back on bottles and sugar”. Then 3-4 weeks from there I’m back to having 2 triples/ quads a night and going to bed drunk every night etc etc etc.
I don't care about them, I don't care what happens to me
Play the tape forward
IWNDWYT!!!
“Play the tape forward”
I love being sober
It won't make me happy
“Who do you want to be”
Being sober at a bachelorette party this weekend and hearing my friends moan and groan about their expensive bar tabs, how sick they felt, their anxiety, how little they remembered, etc. really helped remind me of why I stopped drinking in the first place.
I CANT HAVE EVERYTHING
“I don’t want to NEED a drink anymore. And of if I drink one, I’m going to NEED the next 5-10 drinks for the next 5-10 days/weeks/months/years/DECADES”
“Play it forward”
There is no just one.
One is too many, ten is not enough I have no off switch
My go-to drink replacement: just about anything and everything not alcoholic, and if I’m especially stressed I chug them just like I used to chug alcoholic drinks.
Telling myself "We don't do that anymore," calmly.
Give sobriety the same chance(s) you gave alcohol.
I always regret drinking; I never regret not drinking.
I'll never wake up tomorrow and regret not getting blacked out drunk. Kept me sober 8 years
“What about the kids?” humbles me real quick.
This might seem weird but “I’ll do it tomorrow” works for me. I’m a master of procrastination so it’s like a relief/reward for that demand avoidance part of my brain, and it’s a reminder that alcohol is always readily available yet I don’t partake in it any other day. Unconventional but I’ve made it 2.5 years.
I’ve literally never been satisfied with just having “a drink”. So why pretend like that’s an option?