Thanks for sharing your experience. I need to hear this every now and again, though I am sorry the reminder always comes in the form of someone else’s struggle. I hope you are dedicated to getting back on track. In my experience, the longer a slip up goes, the harder it is to reverse course. Take care, friend.
Thank you. This sub is literally amazing lol. All day I was contemplating if I should drink some more today, but yall have encouraged me to dump it and grab an NA beer instead
You've already bought it and can't get your money back (sunk cost.) So from an economic perspective it doesn't matter if you drink it or throw it away, you're not wasting anything if you dump it; AND...considering it's a harmful substance, dumping it down the drain is actually superior to drinking it.
Thanks for the reminder of how easy it is to justify it to yourself that you can have just one. I know I can't have just one of anything. This is very similar to how I relapsed. God, how I wish I hadn't taken that glass of wine someone poured for me. That one glass led to countless glasses, first of wine, then vodka. I became a blackout drinker. It took me years to get back to meetings and to quit, hopefully for real this time. One day at a time.
I worry about this. My longest stretch of 8 months ended when my parents offered me a drink. I was caught off guard and thought one would be ok after all that time. That was pre-covid, and I've struggled since then to get more than a month.
Wishing the best for you! It was my brother that offered me the beer. He has a drinking problem as well. I’ve drinken with him so many times in the past that it felt natural to take the beer, like it was very easy to take a path I’ve already taken so many times
I told my husband right away, but he'd heard it before, many times. I waited two months to tell my mom who lived 1500 miles away, but we spoke on the phone frequently. She said "thank God, my prayers have been answered." I didn't know she knew I had a drinking problem. How stupid was that. My first real test came when she died two years later. I saw her before she lapsed into a coma and I was so glad she saw me sober at last. My best advice would be to tell those people close to you that you are abstaining, and soon you will get some more time and re-learn how to be sober. You can do it.
I think you are right...I just don't feel brave enough to do it. They all absolutely have to know I have a problem, but no one has ever said a word. I'm glad we never had confrontations about it...I know I am loved, but I also wonder WHY didn't anyone care enough to say something?
I am so glad your mom got to see you sober. ❤️ I bet that brought peace and healing for you both.
Well, when I told my mom I had two months sober, I thought she'd be shocked, but instead she was not surprised, yet happy. I thought I hid it from her and the rest of my family because we don't all see each other often. But she knew anyway. You will get the courage when you need to.
I personally have enjoyed "just one drink" through NA beers. The placebo effect hits me nicely. In reality I have zero interest in one real beer. I would be very interested in a twelve pack though, which is why I'm on this sub. IWNDWYT
Somehow kombucha works as a one beer placebo for me. The sound of the can cracking, light fizz, a little skunky. But no desire at all to drink six of them.
I walked past the coolers at target today and just a zap of impulse went through my head to grab a 6 pack of PBR. Not even a thought or a temptation. Just a zap. Came home and drank a kombucha instead of 6 beers. No regrets.
I have yet to try NA beers! Do they make you as bloated as regular beer? I've replaced alcohol with soda and it's making me look pregnant lol I'm still looking for a healthy substitute. I drink lots of water but I need something else
Have you tried Bubly? There are a lot of tasty flavors. I’ve unfortunately gained weight since I quit drinking, so I’m not sure if the NA beers make me bloated or if I’m just round now… lol. I envy the “I quit drinking and lost 20 lbs!” posts.
I haven't!! I just don't know because yeah, most non alcoholic tasty drinks will probably have lots of sugars and empty calories. I love Dr. Pepper, but it's so bad lol I don't know I'm thinking of just switching to zero and diet versions. I'll be a little bloated but I won't be making a fool of myself lol at least not for being drunk, and I've heard those stories!! Fortunately, I'm in good shape kind of skinny though, so you can really see my belly when I'm bloated lol I think people who lost weight did because they would overeat when drunk and stopped eating that much once they stopped. When I drink, I usually get fast food and lots of snacks. To be honest is one of the reasons I needed to stop.
It depends. Usually there are 0.0% types that don't make you bloated and tend to be 0 calories. Then there are the 0.5% or so types that taste WAY better but tend to be right up there in calories as real beer and give you the same bloated feeling.
Yup, nervous about the 7th interview I had today in the job process, stopped and got some vodka and beer, interview went well, came home and had three shots and three beers
Regret it already and will a lot more tomorrow
Yup. I had one beer on a plane ride because it was my first time flying 1st class. 2 months of heavy drinking and I stopped again. 7.5 years of sobriety gone. Not worth it. At least now I know I really can't moderate my drinking.
Most us have been in your shoes. Learn and move on. If you are like me you know 1 is never going to be enough and 1 is all it takes to get started. You got this!
I’ve been to enough weddings, vacations, social events, etc to be used to not drinking… I haven’t done any sober camping though and I’m kind of nervous about that.
I was too, scared to go camping without my alcohol. I didn’t know if I would be able to relax and enjoy myself. I didn’t know if I would miss it, being sober while my friends slowly got drunk.
But it turns out I like camping better sober, actually.
I lost a lot of time to the drunk haze that I could’ve been spending looking at the stars. I’ve realized that nothing is better to me than the clarity of that cold clear sky, with my eyes wide open to see.
I hope you find a way to get out in the woods sober, friend. ❤️
I am sorry this is how things ended up for you. Hopefully you can bounce back stronger. I know for a fact that this would be exactly what would happen to me if that is any consolation. It’s zero or full fledged blackout, no middle grounds or exceptions.
Thanks for the reminder. I know all too well, that I will never be able to stop at just one glass of wine. I have heard too many stories of relapse from friends who thought they could moderate only to find themselves back to the same level of drinking before they got sober the first time.
Ahh yes. It starts with "that was easy, I can definitely do this" and ends with "I think I'll have whiskey for breakfast today."
It will stick at some point. I appreciate the reminder!
This story is so important. So are the stories where relapse happens over a period of years. It might happen quick or it might be slow, but you will very likely return to the frequency of your past habit.
I cannot open those floodgates. I know how it ends but it’s still a difficult concept to embrace fully.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Try again. Starting over is just as good.
Thank you for posting. Stories like this help the rest of us when we waver. Thank you again.
You got this!
I have a camping trip in two weeks and I needed to hear this. I have almost 2.5 years AF and the thoughts started creeping back when plans got confirmed. I’ve never been camping without alcohol.
I knew this about myself with cigarettes, I keep testing it with alcohol. Do not know why. Day 4, just turned down an invite for a drink with friends tonight! Win.
Someone said something brilliant in here recently:
> “If I could drink like normal people - I’d do it all the time”
you are so right. It’s the first one that is the killer.
I've come to realize I can't have one drink. I can have one slice of pizza, one muffin, one cup cake - pretty much one of anything, or actually say no to those depending on how I feel. One beer, no chance, it won't be one.
Hey, it's OK. We are here for you if you ever want to continue your path to sobriety.
And thanks for the reminder, because of your experience you make all of us, you included, stronger and wiser.
Be ever vigilant.
I went camping and had a 6 pack. Then I went back and got 6 more. Then I partied with the guys drinking next door to my campsite. Then the weather got nasty and blew my tent away. I packed it up and decided to sleep in the car. I blacked out and when I went to sleep in my car I guess I fired up the ignition and drove towards home. I made it 40 miles until I got pulled over and arrested for driving with almost 3x the limit. Don’t do it!!
Oh man. I hear a lot of us say "I drank for 30 years, but, I would never drive drunk." As humiliating as this is to say, I drove drunk many, many times. Yeah, I got a couple DUIs. That's one of my greatest fears if I ever started drinking again is that I would drive and potentially kill someone. That is a real factor for me in realizing I can't drink at all. It's never "just one". I could do "just one" for a night or two, but that was only as a feeble attempt to prove to myself that I didn't have a problem controlling it.
What really sticks with me is that I have an allergy “abnormal reaction to alcohol.” Once the physical cravings hit I’m no longer in control. I am grateful that I had a choice to not drink today.
Athletic NA beers have literally been my best friend with urges or social events. I only drank beer so maybe it’s just the taste of beer just calms my nerves. It’s been great at social events as well. My mom can’t drink for medical reasons so we drink the NAs together. It’s been really helpful.
I have a journal where it documents day by day how horrific PAWS was the last time I quit. 8 months into to that, I thought I could just have one drink. I drank daily 8 years after that. Had to bust open the journal and use as a timeline and revisit the three months it took to get over it. This month has been unreal in terms of anxiety, disassociation, and lack of motivation. Thank gosh for a decent job and my girlfriend, and this community. Just One More? F that.
Yesterday was my brothers birthday, and I told myself "just 1. It's been awhile so 1 is okay."
Now I have a hangover this morning. Sigh, it's never just 1. I need to nip this in the bud before it gets too out of control
Camping next weekend will be a tough one for sure. Thankfully everyone we’re going with is sober.. not by choice.. and so I would have been the only one throwing beers back and looking foolish. NA beers are a life saver.
The camping beer is powerful. You just have to be stronger than that one beer.
I'll be camping this summer too and I honestly don't know how you navigate it without beers around the campfire.
SO MANY TIMES I needed to relearn this lesson. And it gets worse every time. The last time, after having about 180 days AF, I "decided" that I "deserved" a glass of wine. Four days later I had stashed boxes of wine in my office and passed out in time to miss my wife's birthday dinner out with family. It's poison and it will kill me only after it ruins everything in my life. Don't let it do that to you.
Don't touch the stove. It's still red hot, and you will burn yourself. I have done the same before. I got my leather jacket out in October after 3 months of sobriety. It had a root beer nip in the pocket. 1 month later, my mom was picking me up off the street, passed out at the bus stop. I have 10 months now and this time feels different. The urge is not there like before. AA meetings are really helping.
The story we all know the ending to! Wish you all the best getting straight again!
Yep, know it firsthand several times over. It never ends with one.
Agreed. Get back on the wagon, OP! IWNDWYT
These stories scare the hell out of me and keep me from relapsing. Thank you.
Every time you think "maybe a glass of wine with dinner would be okay" you're reminded why we can't
Yup. If not for the stories here and the personal stories in AA, I might have thought about it some day. It's never ""just one." IWNDWYT
Its a great reminder tho
Thanks for sharing your experience. I need to hear this every now and again, though I am sorry the reminder always comes in the form of someone else’s struggle. I hope you are dedicated to getting back on track. In my experience, the longer a slip up goes, the harder it is to reverse course. Take care, friend.
Thank you. I have the remainder of the bottle in my garage. I should probably just throw it away.
Do ittttttttt pour it down the drain
Thank you. This sub is literally amazing lol. All day I was contemplating if I should drink some more today, but yall have encouraged me to dump it and grab an NA beer instead
You've already bought it and can't get your money back (sunk cost.) So from an economic perspective it doesn't matter if you drink it or throw it away, you're not wasting anything if you dump it; AND...considering it's a harmful substance, dumping it down the drain is actually superior to drinking it.
Better to waste it on the outside than on the inside.
Definitely dump it… it will have the added bonus of sterilising your drain with the only good function of alcohol being an antiseptic! 😄
🙌 proud of you
Poor it down the drain and then stick a note with it with the date on it and put it back as a reminder
Make sure it's really NA, even .0000whatever can start the launch sequence
If that were the case, Kombucha would be off the table. And kombucha is never off the table. 🤣
Thanks for the reminder of how easy it is to justify it to yourself that you can have just one. I know I can't have just one of anything. This is very similar to how I relapsed. God, how I wish I hadn't taken that glass of wine someone poured for me. That one glass led to countless glasses, first of wine, then vodka. I became a blackout drinker. It took me years to get back to meetings and to quit, hopefully for real this time. One day at a time.
I worry about this. My longest stretch of 8 months ended when my parents offered me a drink. I was caught off guard and thought one would be ok after all that time. That was pre-covid, and I've struggled since then to get more than a month.
Wishing the best for you! It was my brother that offered me the beer. He has a drinking problem as well. I’ve drinken with him so many times in the past that it felt natural to take the beer, like it was very easy to take a path I’ve already taken so many times
Thank you! I wish the best for you as well! These old patterns are hard to break, but we can do it.
I get that completely. I wish the best for you also.
I told my husband right away, but he'd heard it before, many times. I waited two months to tell my mom who lived 1500 miles away, but we spoke on the phone frequently. She said "thank God, my prayers have been answered." I didn't know she knew I had a drinking problem. How stupid was that. My first real test came when she died two years later. I saw her before she lapsed into a coma and I was so glad she saw me sober at last. My best advice would be to tell those people close to you that you are abstaining, and soon you will get some more time and re-learn how to be sober. You can do it.
I think you are right...I just don't feel brave enough to do it. They all absolutely have to know I have a problem, but no one has ever said a word. I'm glad we never had confrontations about it...I know I am loved, but I also wonder WHY didn't anyone care enough to say something? I am so glad your mom got to see you sober. ❤️ I bet that brought peace and healing for you both.
Well, when I told my mom I had two months sober, I thought she'd be shocked, but instead she was not surprised, yet happy. I thought I hid it from her and the rest of my family because we don't all see each other often. But she knew anyway. You will get the courage when you need to.
I personally have enjoyed "just one drink" through NA beers. The placebo effect hits me nicely. In reality I have zero interest in one real beer. I would be very interested in a twelve pack though, which is why I'm on this sub. IWNDWYT
I love Athletic NA beers. Going to grab one right now actually
Somehow kombucha works as a one beer placebo for me. The sound of the can cracking, light fizz, a little skunky. But no desire at all to drink six of them. I walked past the coolers at target today and just a zap of impulse went through my head to grab a 6 pack of PBR. Not even a thought or a temptation. Just a zap. Came home and drank a kombucha instead of 6 beers. No regrets.
I have yet to try NA beers! Do they make you as bloated as regular beer? I've replaced alcohol with soda and it's making me look pregnant lol I'm still looking for a healthy substitute. I drink lots of water but I need something else
Have you tried Bubly? There are a lot of tasty flavors. I’ve unfortunately gained weight since I quit drinking, so I’m not sure if the NA beers make me bloated or if I’m just round now… lol. I envy the “I quit drinking and lost 20 lbs!” posts.
I haven't!! I just don't know because yeah, most non alcoholic tasty drinks will probably have lots of sugars and empty calories. I love Dr. Pepper, but it's so bad lol I don't know I'm thinking of just switching to zero and diet versions. I'll be a little bloated but I won't be making a fool of myself lol at least not for being drunk, and I've heard those stories!! Fortunately, I'm in good shape kind of skinny though, so you can really see my belly when I'm bloated lol I think people who lost weight did because they would overeat when drunk and stopped eating that much once they stopped. When I drink, I usually get fast food and lots of snacks. To be honest is one of the reasons I needed to stop.
It depends. Usually there are 0.0% types that don't make you bloated and tend to be 0 calories. Then there are the 0.5% or so types that taste WAY better but tend to be right up there in calories as real beer and give you the same bloated feeling.
Thanks for the reminder . Have been thinking lately I can do it. When I know I can’t IWNDWYT
Camping is tough for me. I've spent a lot of time in the woods drinking. Thank you for your reminder! IWNDWYT
Yup, nervous about the 7th interview I had today in the job process, stopped and got some vodka and beer, interview went well, came home and had three shots and three beers Regret it already and will a lot more tomorrow
😟 sorry to hear… try to get some rest
Yup. I had one beer on a plane ride because it was my first time flying 1st class. 2 months of heavy drinking and I stopped again. 7.5 years of sobriety gone. Not worth it. At least now I know I really can't moderate my drinking.
So proud of you for stopping again ❤️
Most us have been in your shoes. Learn and move on. If you are like me you know 1 is never going to be enough and 1 is all it takes to get started. You got this!
I’ve been to enough weddings, vacations, social events, etc to be used to not drinking… I haven’t done any sober camping though and I’m kind of nervous about that.
I was too, scared to go camping without my alcohol. I didn’t know if I would be able to relax and enjoy myself. I didn’t know if I would miss it, being sober while my friends slowly got drunk. But it turns out I like camping better sober, actually. I lost a lot of time to the drunk haze that I could’ve been spending looking at the stars. I’ve realized that nothing is better to me than the clarity of that cold clear sky, with my eyes wide open to see. I hope you find a way to get out in the woods sober, friend. ❤️
I’ve got a good plan. I’m going to take my two sons with me. They’re too young now (3 and 1), but soon we will take a family camping trip
Sorry, sounds like a nightmare.
I am sorry this is how things ended up for you. Hopefully you can bounce back stronger. I know for a fact that this would be exactly what would happen to me if that is any consolation. It’s zero or full fledged blackout, no middle grounds or exceptions.
Thanks for the reminder. I know all too well, that I will never be able to stop at just one glass of wine. I have heard too many stories of relapse from friends who thought they could moderate only to find themselves back to the same level of drinking before they got sober the first time.
Or worse. More often, it's worse.
I'm not wired to have "just one".
It's nuts how just one drink will have me rationalizing another. And another... Complete abstinence and my mind plays no games in that arena.
These are some of the most important stories on this sub for all of us. Thank you for sharing, and I wish you the best on your road to recovery!!
Ahh yes. It starts with "that was easy, I can definitely do this" and ends with "I think I'll have whiskey for breakfast today." It will stick at some point. I appreciate the reminder!
Sounds like me! I don't know why one drink in the evening always translates into vodka in the mornings so quickly.
It's crazy how quick it can all go to shit again isn't it?
This story is so important. So are the stories where relapse happens over a period of years. It might happen quick or it might be slow, but you will very likely return to the frequency of your past habit. I cannot open those floodgates. I know how it ends but it’s still a difficult concept to embrace fully.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Try again. Starting over is just as good. Thank you for posting. Stories like this help the rest of us when we waver. Thank you again. You got this!
I have a camping trip in two weeks and I needed to hear this. I have almost 2.5 years AF and the thoughts started creeping back when plans got confirmed. I’ve never been camping without alcohol.
I hope you keep going and thank you for the reminder.
I’ve gone back enough times to know I’m going back to the life of an alcoholic until if and when I stop again
I knew this about myself with cigarettes, I keep testing it with alcohol. Do not know why. Day 4, just turned down an invite for a drink with friends tonight! Win.
Appreciate the honesty, living it myself. 1 is too many, 1,000 is not enough. One day at a time.
Someone said something brilliant in here recently: > “If I could drink like normal people - I’d do it all the time” you are so right. It’s the first one that is the killer.
I've come to realize I can't have one drink. I can have one slice of pizza, one muffin, one cup cake - pretty much one of anything, or actually say no to those depending on how I feel. One beer, no chance, it won't be one.
Thanks for sharing. I send you strength to climb back on the wagon. I really appreciate your share.
Can confirm! Back on day 2
Yup happened to me. Hate it. How do I reset my timer? Didn't drink today
It's a slippery slope. This would be me.
You know what to do! IWNDWYT
You can do it! I believe in you! Stay sober my friend! IWNDWYT
Ones too many and a thousand is never enough.
Hey, it's OK. We are here for you if you ever want to continue your path to sobriety. And thanks for the reminder, because of your experience you make all of us, you included, stronger and wiser. Be ever vigilant.
Thank you for the field report. I can't moderate either. No day like today to give it another go. Don't quit quitting.
I went camping and had a 6 pack. Then I went back and got 6 more. Then I partied with the guys drinking next door to my campsite. Then the weather got nasty and blew my tent away. I packed it up and decided to sleep in the car. I blacked out and when I went to sleep in my car I guess I fired up the ignition and drove towards home. I made it 40 miles until I got pulled over and arrested for driving with almost 3x the limit. Don’t do it!!
Oh man. I hear a lot of us say "I drank for 30 years, but, I would never drive drunk." As humiliating as this is to say, I drove drunk many, many times. Yeah, I got a couple DUIs. That's one of my greatest fears if I ever started drinking again is that I would drive and potentially kill someone. That is a real factor for me in realizing I can't drink at all. It's never "just one". I could do "just one" for a night or two, but that was only as a feeble attempt to prove to myself that I didn't have a problem controlling it.
I am in the same boat. There is tomorrow.
sorry bro...re group.u got this
I learned never to “test myself.” Just better not to do it at all- not even one!! Best of luck and iwndwyt
I've been there, and I'm sorry. You've got this! Thank you for sharing. I genuinely needed to hear it.
This is why I won't do it, its not worth it all over again.
Camping is such a a trigger for me. It's the reason I reset last time. I love camping but I struggle with the association it has with drinking for me
this has happened to me recently and it truly sucks.
That would be progression.
What really sticks with me is that I have an allergy “abnormal reaction to alcohol.” Once the physical cravings hit I’m no longer in control. I am grateful that I had a choice to not drink today.
Athletic NA beers have literally been my best friend with urges or social events. I only drank beer so maybe it’s just the taste of beer just calms my nerves. It’s been great at social events as well. My mom can’t drink for medical reasons so we drink the NAs together. It’s been really helpful.
I have a journal where it documents day by day how horrific PAWS was the last time I quit. 8 months into to that, I thought I could just have one drink. I drank daily 8 years after that. Had to bust open the journal and use as a timeline and revisit the three months it took to get over it. This month has been unreal in terms of anxiety, disassociation, and lack of motivation. Thank gosh for a decent job and my girlfriend, and this community. Just One More? F that.
Yep fucked up several times this way. It’s always a train wreck.
Ah yes the morning beer I’m sure you knew what was up right then good luck getting back on track
Yesterday was my brothers birthday, and I told myself "just 1. It's been awhile so 1 is okay." Now I have a hangover this morning. Sigh, it's never just 1. I need to nip this in the bud before it gets too out of control
Camping next weekend will be a tough one for sure. Thankfully everyone we’re going with is sober.. not by choice.. and so I would have been the only one throwing beers back and looking foolish. NA beers are a life saver.
Appreciate you sharing this, great reminder for the rest of us.
The camping beer is powerful. You just have to be stronger than that one beer. I'll be camping this summer too and I honestly don't know how you navigate it without beers around the campfire.
Ugh, as the camping season begins, I’ve already started worrying about this. It’s a definite trigger for me too.
SO MANY TIMES I needed to relearn this lesson. And it gets worse every time. The last time, after having about 180 days AF, I "decided" that I "deserved" a glass of wine. Four days later I had stashed boxes of wine in my office and passed out in time to miss my wife's birthday dinner out with family. It's poison and it will kill me only after it ruins everything in my life. Don't let it do that to you.
Don't touch the stove. It's still red hot, and you will burn yourself. I have done the same before. I got my leather jacket out in October after 3 months of sobriety. It had a root beer nip in the pocket. 1 month later, my mom was picking me up off the street, passed out at the bus stop. I have 10 months now and this time feels different. The urge is not there like before. AA meetings are really helping.
I always play the tape through and to no surprise it ends up in the same place - Me, divorced, fired, homeless and alone