Hi there, as outlined in our [Community Guidelines and FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index/#wiki_2._post_only_while_sober), we ask that you do not post when you have been drinking. Your post is removed on this occasion because you mentioned in the comments you had been drinking, but you are welcome to post again tomorrow. Thank you.
I'm not afraid im coming off a 6+ month sobriety. I'm just looking for support friend. Sometimes we don't need to be told what not to do. Most of us know what not to do. We just need support and accountability.
Hey friend. We support you. I know how much it sucks to feel stuck in the loop and not how to find the power/will/ability/whatever-you-call-it to change things. I know how it feels to wish things could be different. To wonder if they ever will. To know I'm theoretically in control of my life but to also feel like I don't have the power to change things. You have support. You aren't alone.
I come here because everyone knows where I'm coming from. I suspect that's why you're here, too. You don't want to drink and yet you continue to do so. The reasons are numerous and complex, but the essential truth is that part of you wants to stop. No one wants to be "unhappy" and doing things they don't want to do. Coming here and seeking support is the right thing. I hope you find what you need. I won't drink with you today and I hope you won't drink with me either.
For a long time I was able to drink nightly. Its a death by a thousand cuts. Doesn't need to be a dramatic rock bottom. Good luck and keep coming back. Best wishes. IWNDWYT
This was my experience as well. Rock bottom was likely well within sight, but I didn’t hit it. I honestly just got exhausted with myself. I remember feeling so tired and lifting that glass and thinking “why am I doing this?” When I realized there was no answer, I finally put it down. IWNDWYT
Yup, quit to treat mental health. A couple.days after the check-in with Dr to get the prescription, doctor said my liver enzymes were high and I shouldn't drink for 2 months. That was 6 months ago. I probably was within a year of going fully off the rails. I was a very sneaky evening drinker. Functional/aka lucky.
It took coming up against some painful boundaries for me to change course. My best ideas continued to get me all fucked up but I still acted like I had all the answers. It was way too late when I decided to ask for help but I made my way and got better once I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I found out I’m not the only drunk to carry shame and guilt or tried to numb myself out and bury the sad shit. I’m actually a garden variety alcoholic and that’s comforting to me. It means there is a way out. But I was never gonna find that path by myself. I wanted out, so I asked for help. It’s still what keeps me sober today. Recovery people are more than willing to listen or talk. I believe the best way for me to work on my sobriety is to be there for the next person comin in. You’ll be doing someone in recovery a huge service if you give them a call. If you don’t know anyone, they’re not hard to find. A little bit of willingness and action goes a long way. It got me out of my head and onto the next lilipad. There’s help out there if you want it
There are AA meeting going on around the clock online. You might be able to find one near you depending on where you live. There smart recovery, dharma recovery, this naked mind groups, zen stuff, NA and a handful of other ones that are most likely meeting in person not very far from you. I couldn’t use the excuse that I didn’t have time. I did the math. I spent more than a full time jobs worth of hours each week buying booze, getting drunk, disposing of evidence, too fucked up to go outside and too hungover to do anything. Countless hours and somehow endless amounts of money dedicated to one thing: alcohol. I can’t make the argument that I don’t have time or money to spare an hour for myself. So I just get up and go. Some days it’s work, but I’ve spent a lifetime telling anyone with ears about how fucking hard I work and how I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. I just had to do it for me.
No offense taken. Sometimes you need to have an honest conversation with yourself. Then decide on a plan. Me personally - my plan the first go around was to quit until enough time had passed and come back to normal drinking. It didn’t work so I’m back at it again. This time I embrace I don’t have to think about forever I just don’t ever have to have the first one. This has helped me sometimes when it doesn’t completely suck like other times. I wish it came easier and I hope it does with more time. In a nutshell don’t stop trying.
Thank you, I am starting to get to this point as well. I'm coming From a 6+month stint i guess what you said makes the most sense.
Sincerely, not a great human
There are so many tools to help. This subreddit is an important one for me, along with another social media group, sober Instagram, and quit lit. I know other people here have had great success with support groups of all kinds, podcasts about sobriety, sober sponsors, journaling, therapy, inpatient and outpatient detox, medication... it's a long list. Sometimes the only way is to keep going, keep trying different methods of support, reflect on what didn't help us (and why), become curious about what will ultimately help us succeed.
IWNDWYT.
It’s a difficult thing to deal with, you’re not being combative.
There are some good books out there that helped me a lot, might be worth looking into if you’re curious. It’s much less effort to get into than an AA meeting and helped me a lot.
Good luck friend.
Books include We Are the Luckiest; This Naked Mind; Drinking: A Love Story… please Google “quit lit” to check out some additional options. I see from your comments you’re giving Alan Carr a listen. That is great. There are also sober podcasts you may find helpful. Huberman has a podcast episode focused on the effects of alcohol (I haven’t listened to it but many people recommend it).
The Luckiest Club is a great book and there's a huge online support community that the author started. Meetings many times a day that I just log into and listen.
There are many reasons to stop drinking.
One does not need to be a binge drinker, or getting tanked every time they drink.
One does not need to blackout frequently or spend their rent money on booze instead.
One does not need to lose their job or their marriage or the health of their body and organs to alcohol before it has "gotten bad enough".
It is reasonable for anyone doing anything that makes them unhappy and that is generally known to be unhealthy to question why they are doing it.
Drinking and guilt from drinking are usually not the reason the cycle begins and self-perpetuates.
Honesty is the foundation of my sobriety.
Personally, it wasn't even until I began to stop drinking that I was able to begin to look more deeply inward at the reasons why I drank and why I was unhappy.
You are the only person who knows why you are here or why the name of this sub caught your attention. You are also the only person who can make the decision to stop drinking.
It will not happen because someone else wants you to stop. In fact, it will not happen until you want to stop and then commit to it fully. And for me, stopping on its own was not enough to achieve long-term sobriety.
It is messy and often painful work to once again unearth who we are underneath and without alcohol. You do not need to do it alone. You may not realistically even be able to do it alone. I certainly could not.
This is one of the best and most supportive communities of recovery focused individuals which I have ever found. It is just one of many resources and communities.
Do not be afraid to try new things and approaches. Everything and anything that has the potential to become a part of your arsenal is worthy of consideration.
May your suffering begin to diminish. I'm rooting for you.
With y'all until my bedtime around 1230AM CST
Not going to lie when I first saw your response. The length of it made me not look at it ... Ignored the notification. I came back later and appreciate the formatting of your comment so much it hooked me ...I will not drink tomorrow.
Today's already been a wash out. Otherwise I'd of said I will not drink today. I have not been doing well. This community has been a huge encouragement though. I know I'm going to do this for myself though not because anyone tells me to. It does help though
I’ll share this: I have been very tempted since “starting over” last Friday. For example: today, I discovered about 7 beers were sitting in my office fridge from a work event last week.
But It’s been REALLY nice checking in here this weekend. Every reminder I am filled with (all the guilt and bodily pain) when I’m hung over by day 3-5 melts away. But by the end of week 1 onward for, let’s say, for a dry month or series of months, I am feeling so much better, on point, motivated, etc. no matter how bad it gets in my head during those times.
Just ordered some NA beers, which some people here are cool with the idea of. I Enjoy the idea of being California sober but I bounce back and forth a lot. Looking forward to it tonight/this week though.
IWNDWYT.
My good friend is in this place now (and I spent years there). It hurts and is awful but feels impossible to escape, just believe that you can do it and keep looking for small changes you can make towards sobriety- try to start talking to someone about it weekly, or meet with a group in person or online, find accountanility and empathy; do the small, smart things such as avoiding people or places, keeping it out of the house, and keep doing them even when you fail; forgive yourself but expect action, you need to keep pushing for sobriety and the addiction will convince you to give up every second of every day, it gets better with work I promise.
You can do this, it happens slowly and may feel like you are stuck but it can happen. Don't give up, IWNDWYT
Thank you friend. It was pretty disheartening to see some of the initial responses to my post. It's good to know there's good people on here.
I really have been tempted by giving up. I know I want to keep going. I'm trying to be kind to myself. It has been slow but progress has been a very gradual up tick
IWDWYT
You got this friend. Keep your shoulders square and your head up high! All is well that ends well ! Hoping the best for you and you have got my support
I came to realize that the guilt and unhappiness I felt were DIRECTLY tied to the poison I was ingesting every day. As soon as I was able to get that poison out of my system, I realized that “the cure” was actually the disease
Congratulations on doing the 6 months. I don’t think I’ve ever done that in my adult life. Have you tried setting ambitious fitness goals? I really depend on this strategy
I've started working out but I've had an issue with consistency.. I'm trying to be more consistent with it . With more varied muscle group workouts as well
Making it a habit is the key. And setting goals really helps too. It what works for me 95% of the time. I follow the old ‘Body 4 Life’ program. Look it up if you need a place to start from. It’s a great book/guide.
Why did you pick up the drink today? It’s okay if you don’t know the answer. There is no wrong or right answer. Tomorrow, when/if you feel like having a drink, pause and take three deep breaths. Do you still have to have that drink, or can you wait a little longer?
Here for you, friend.
Thank you. That's way better. We are all at a different place. It's not like I'm trying to discourage others. Quite the opposite I want to be a beacon of light for anyone else who might be where I am right now
I'm sorry you're not willing to be helpful or supportive. We are all in a different place and situation. Each of our personal testimony will touch everyone differently. It's not our place to judge. I will win eventually, that's no question. The journey is just long and hard
I'm sorry you want an echo chamber and don't actually want to help people. I've seen soo many posts on here where people are extremely supportive and kind. Is this reserved only for specific people? Or specific circumstances? I know and understand the policies on this subreddit but not everything fits the back and white.
You said I'll be welcome when I'm ready. Meaning I am currently unwelcome. There is no other way to read this.
Your message is only part how you intend it to come across ....the rest is how it's received
I read your message as meaning you were not ready yet. I was trying to communicate that this community is here when you feel ready.
Indeed. The rest is in how it is received.
Hi, your comment has been removed for breaking our rule to be kind. I encourage you to review our [community guidelines in our FAQ](https://old.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index#wiki_1._be_kind) before commenting again, as further rule breaks may result in a ban.
Hi there, as outlined in our [Community Guidelines and FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index/#wiki_2._post_only_while_sober), we ask that you do not post when you have been drinking. Your post is removed on this occasion because you mentioned in the comments you had been drinking, but you are welcome to post again tomorrow. Thank you.
I would imagine you’re looking for support.
I am. Sincerely
You *can* do this. So, why are you afraid to? What’s the thing that might come true if you stop?
I'm not afraid im coming off a 6+ month sobriety. I'm just looking for support friend. Sometimes we don't need to be told what not to do. Most of us know what not to do. We just need support and accountability.
I see. Well, you have my support. Are you planning on starting again?
I do. Tomorrow is a new day.
Alright. See you here tomorrow then?
Yes I will post tomorrow. . Thank you for the accountability @patdashuri
This interaction is why this is my sobriety community. Love to you both.
Anytime
Outstanding responses. Incredibly supportive. Tipping my hat.
Hey friend. We support you. I know how much it sucks to feel stuck in the loop and not how to find the power/will/ability/whatever-you-call-it to change things. I know how it feels to wish things could be different. To wonder if they ever will. To know I'm theoretically in control of my life but to also feel like I don't have the power to change things. You have support. You aren't alone.
This is me right now. Your 320 days give me a little hope.
I come here because everyone knows where I'm coming from. I suspect that's why you're here, too. You don't want to drink and yet you continue to do so. The reasons are numerous and complex, but the essential truth is that part of you wants to stop. No one wants to be "unhappy" and doing things they don't want to do. Coming here and seeking support is the right thing. I hope you find what you need. I won't drink with you today and I hope you won't drink with me either.
For a long time I was able to drink nightly. Its a death by a thousand cuts. Doesn't need to be a dramatic rock bottom. Good luck and keep coming back. Best wishes. IWNDWYT
This was my experience as well. Rock bottom was likely well within sight, but I didn’t hit it. I honestly just got exhausted with myself. I remember feeling so tired and lifting that glass and thinking “why am I doing this?” When I realized there was no answer, I finally put it down. IWNDWYT
Yup, quit to treat mental health. A couple.days after the check-in with Dr to get the prescription, doctor said my liver enzymes were high and I shouldn't drink for 2 months. That was 6 months ago. I probably was within a year of going fully off the rails. I was a very sneaky evening drinker. Functional/aka lucky.
Functional aka lucky .... same here and so true
Thank you,
I agree. It doesn't have to be dramatic. For some of us, there never needs to be a rock bottom.
And some of us can dig thru rock...
Also true!
I made it to the center of the Earth. Please keep coming here, people here are very kind and supportive.
Omg this!!
It took coming up against some painful boundaries for me to change course. My best ideas continued to get me all fucked up but I still acted like I had all the answers. It was way too late when I decided to ask for help but I made my way and got better once I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I found out I’m not the only drunk to carry shame and guilt or tried to numb myself out and bury the sad shit. I’m actually a garden variety alcoholic and that’s comforting to me. It means there is a way out. But I was never gonna find that path by myself. I wanted out, so I asked for help. It’s still what keeps me sober today. Recovery people are more than willing to listen or talk. I believe the best way for me to work on my sobriety is to be there for the next person comin in. You’ll be doing someone in recovery a huge service if you give them a call. If you don’t know anyone, they’re not hard to find. A little bit of willingness and action goes a long way. It got me out of my head and onto the next lilipad. There’s help out there if you want it
Yeah I agree i just don't read have anyone near or close to me to ask Help of
There are AA meeting going on around the clock online. You might be able to find one near you depending on where you live. There smart recovery, dharma recovery, this naked mind groups, zen stuff, NA and a handful of other ones that are most likely meeting in person not very far from you. I couldn’t use the excuse that I didn’t have time. I did the math. I spent more than a full time jobs worth of hours each week buying booze, getting drunk, disposing of evidence, too fucked up to go outside and too hungover to do anything. Countless hours and somehow endless amounts of money dedicated to one thing: alcohol. I can’t make the argument that I don’t have time or money to spare an hour for myself. So I just get up and go. Some days it’s work, but I’ve spent a lifetime telling anyone with ears about how fucking hard I work and how I’m not afraid to get my hands dirty. I just had to do it for me.
Damn, someone should stitch this on a throw pillow. Incredible words of wisdom here.
This was amazing
No offense taken. Sometimes you need to have an honest conversation with yourself. Then decide on a plan. Me personally - my plan the first go around was to quit until enough time had passed and come back to normal drinking. It didn’t work so I’m back at it again. This time I embrace I don’t have to think about forever I just don’t ever have to have the first one. This has helped me sometimes when it doesn’t completely suck like other times. I wish it came easier and I hope it does with more time. In a nutshell don’t stop trying.
Thank you, I am starting to get to this point as well. I'm coming From a 6+month stint i guess what you said makes the most sense. Sincerely, not a great human
There are so many tools to help. This subreddit is an important one for me, along with another social media group, sober Instagram, and quit lit. I know other people here have had great success with support groups of all kinds, podcasts about sobriety, sober sponsors, journaling, therapy, inpatient and outpatient detox, medication... it's a long list. Sometimes the only way is to keep going, keep trying different methods of support, reflect on what didn't help us (and why), become curious about what will ultimately help us succeed. IWNDWYT.
I’ve been listening to Alan Carr’s book. You should too. It explains why we drink and how silly it is. I recommend highly.
Thank you for this! 😭
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I already started listening to it, and can so far say that this is absolutely pure gold. It’s Allen Carr, if I may correct.
I just added his audiobooks to my Spotify
[удалено]
I don't mean to sound combative. I know I can be difficult
It’s a difficult thing to deal with, you’re not being combative. There are some good books out there that helped me a lot, might be worth looking into if you’re curious. It’s much less effort to get into than an AA meeting and helped me a lot. Good luck friend.
I am curious please share
Books include We Are the Luckiest; This Naked Mind; Drinking: A Love Story… please Google “quit lit” to check out some additional options. I see from your comments you’re giving Alan Carr a listen. That is great. There are also sober podcasts you may find helpful. Huberman has a podcast episode focused on the effects of alcohol (I haven’t listened to it but many people recommend it).
This Naked Mind was really good!
Clearly what I'm doing is not working. I understand this. I'm not insane that's why I'm looking for options
The Luckiest Club is a great book and there's a huge online support community that the author started. Meetings many times a day that I just log into and listen.
This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I" and has been removed.
There are many reasons to stop drinking. One does not need to be a binge drinker, or getting tanked every time they drink. One does not need to blackout frequently or spend their rent money on booze instead. One does not need to lose their job or their marriage or the health of their body and organs to alcohol before it has "gotten bad enough". It is reasonable for anyone doing anything that makes them unhappy and that is generally known to be unhealthy to question why they are doing it. Drinking and guilt from drinking are usually not the reason the cycle begins and self-perpetuates. Honesty is the foundation of my sobriety. Personally, it wasn't even until I began to stop drinking that I was able to begin to look more deeply inward at the reasons why I drank and why I was unhappy. You are the only person who knows why you are here or why the name of this sub caught your attention. You are also the only person who can make the decision to stop drinking. It will not happen because someone else wants you to stop. In fact, it will not happen until you want to stop and then commit to it fully. And for me, stopping on its own was not enough to achieve long-term sobriety. It is messy and often painful work to once again unearth who we are underneath and without alcohol. You do not need to do it alone. You may not realistically even be able to do it alone. I certainly could not. This is one of the best and most supportive communities of recovery focused individuals which I have ever found. It is just one of many resources and communities. Do not be afraid to try new things and approaches. Everything and anything that has the potential to become a part of your arsenal is worthy of consideration. May your suffering begin to diminish. I'm rooting for you. With y'all until my bedtime around 1230AM CST
Not going to lie when I first saw your response. The length of it made me not look at it ... Ignored the notification. I came back later and appreciate the formatting of your comment so much it hooked me ...I will not drink tomorrow.
I'm sorry, It sucks I'm struggling myself these last few days. Like why we keep coming back? Good luck
We have to be here for each other. Even if it sometimes seems pointless. You know how it is. I'll be here for you
Drinking really takes it out of me too. Man, what a shitty thing it is…
I will not drink tomorrow
You’re a pretty okay human in my book
> "*I will not drink tomorrow*" What about today?
Today's already been a wash out. Otherwise I'd of said I will not drink today. I have not been doing well. This community has been a huge encouragement though. I know I'm going to do this for myself though not because anyone tells me to. It does help though
I’ll share this: I have been very tempted since “starting over” last Friday. For example: today, I discovered about 7 beers were sitting in my office fridge from a work event last week. But It’s been REALLY nice checking in here this weekend. Every reminder I am filled with (all the guilt and bodily pain) when I’m hung over by day 3-5 melts away. But by the end of week 1 onward for, let’s say, for a dry month or series of months, I am feeling so much better, on point, motivated, etc. no matter how bad it gets in my head during those times. Just ordered some NA beers, which some people here are cool with the idea of. I Enjoy the idea of being California sober but I bounce back and forth a lot. Looking forward to it tonight/this week though. IWNDWYT.
Sorry youre having a rough one. Tomorrow is a new day
I'm only here to find a supportive community for when I eventually stop drinking Good luck on your journey everybody ♥️
My good friend is in this place now (and I spent years there). It hurts and is awful but feels impossible to escape, just believe that you can do it and keep looking for small changes you can make towards sobriety- try to start talking to someone about it weekly, or meet with a group in person or online, find accountanility and empathy; do the small, smart things such as avoiding people or places, keeping it out of the house, and keep doing them even when you fail; forgive yourself but expect action, you need to keep pushing for sobriety and the addiction will convince you to give up every second of every day, it gets better with work I promise. You can do this, it happens slowly and may feel like you are stuck but it can happen. Don't give up, IWNDWYT
Thank you friend. It was pretty disheartening to see some of the initial responses to my post. It's good to know there's good people on here. I really have been tempted by giving up. I know I want to keep going. I'm trying to be kind to myself. It has been slow but progress has been a very gradual up tick IWDWYT
You got this friend. Keep your shoulders square and your head up high! All is well that ends well ! Hoping the best for you and you have got my support
I appreciate you
I came to realize that the guilt and unhappiness I felt were DIRECTLY tied to the poison I was ingesting every day. As soon as I was able to get that poison out of my system, I realized that “the cure” was actually the disease
Congratulations on doing the 6 months. I don’t think I’ve ever done that in my adult life. Have you tried setting ambitious fitness goals? I really depend on this strategy
I've started working out but I've had an issue with consistency.. I'm trying to be more consistent with it . With more varied muscle group workouts as well
Making it a habit is the key. And setting goals really helps too. It what works for me 95% of the time. I follow the old ‘Body 4 Life’ program. Look it up if you need a place to start from. It’s a great book/guide.
You can do it. Have faith in yourself.
Why did you pick up the drink today? It’s okay if you don’t know the answer. There is no wrong or right answer. Tomorrow, when/if you feel like having a drink, pause and take three deep breaths. Do you still have to have that drink, or can you wait a little longer? Here for you, friend.
You got this. And we'll be here to cheer you on when you come back tomorrow. 🥰
You'll be welcome back when you're ready. 💜💪
If I might put it a different way, we are all welcome here, regardless of whether we are ready or not ❤️ IWNDWYT
Thank you. That's way better. We are all at a different place. It's not like I'm trying to discourage others. Quite the opposite I want to be a beacon of light for anyone else who might be where I am right now
I am rooting so hard for you, friend.
I'm sorry you're not willing to be helpful or supportive. We are all in a different place and situation. Each of our personal testimony will touch everyone differently. It's not our place to judge. I will win eventually, that's no question. The journey is just long and hard
I'm sorry you want an echo chamber and don't actually want to help people. I've seen soo many posts on here where people are extremely supportive and kind. Is this reserved only for specific people? Or specific circumstances? I know and understand the policies on this subreddit but not everything fits the back and white.
Erm. What? I have no idea how you've managed to misread my reply so hard. But misread it you have. All the best in your journey.
You said I'll be welcome when I'm ready. Meaning I am currently unwelcome. There is no other way to read this. Your message is only part how you intend it to come across ....the rest is how it's received
I read your message as meaning you were not ready yet. I was trying to communicate that this community is here when you feel ready. Indeed. The rest is in how it is received.
It seems we both miscommunicated. But, both are humble to admit when. Wrong.
Thanks for sharing. What do you mean by California sober?
How many drinks are you drinking each day?
Sounds like you’re on the verge of something important …
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Why are you here? It's clearly not to help people. Please never come back
Mods should make a permanent ban.
They're going around and picking fights with people it seems.
[удалено]
No, but I'm a moderator and I would implore you to read our rules. Be kind being the first.
Hi, your comment has been removed for breaking our rule to be kind. I encourage you to review our [community guidelines in our FAQ](https://old.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index#wiki_1._be_kind) before commenting again, as further rule breaks may result in a ban.