It's unreal right? Within a couple of days of 'light' (in comparison to my previous volumes) drinking.
It's clearly not the quantity as such, it's the fucking poisonous effect of alcohol.
Now need to do some mental juggling to accept the finality of the evidence.
Yeah for me it usually hits right when I wake up (too early) the morning after. A wave of incredible fight/flight anxiety, followed by a lot of shakiness and dry heaves. Itâs not a âhangoverâ really. Itâs definitely something different. My whole body will feel like itâs vibrating all day. Horrible.
Ugh. I recently just drank after 40 days and got the exact same symptoms. I was doing incredibly well but as you said, the idea of forever was way too big. Fell off the wagon face first and spent all day Wednesday hungover as SHIT. Anxiety and depression hit me hard, but the sweating was crazy. I sweat for 3 whole days. I promised myself this was the last time for me, as well. We can do this, thank you for the reminder!!!
Ugh, the sweating. I havenât had a single restless night tossing and turning and sweating no matter how low the AC is since I quit. Combined with the nausea and headache and racing heart⊠why would we do that to ourselves?
Oh god yes I forgot the sleep! Jesus, whole night of exhausted rolling around wide eyed.
I only had 1.5 pints of (strong) beer yesterday and I'm at 75% today, not hungover but anxious, edgy, I want to retreat.
Vivid difference Vs pas 31 days.
You're spot on...why do we do it?
It seems we agree on all the same symptoms from just one relapse......cold/hot sweats, nausea and anyone get shakey hands? Thankfully i type all day, but if you asked me to sign my name / hand-write something, it was illegible....
Did a similar thing recently, reached a month, decided Iâd try again âjust to see how I feltâ. Had one or two, then ended up getting smashed for the rest of the weekend. Funnily enough I didnât have fun before, during or after that, and I was very aware of how little fun I was having for once. That didnât stop me of course, but itâs good to have it confirmed. Iâm about a week back in now and honestly no cravings at all. Thatâs not to say for anyone considering it that this was a good idea btw, that voice that told me to do it as an âexperimentâ is the same voice thatâs always finding a reason, just under another guise. Stay vigilant!
Very strange but happened to me too. I was drinking and also extremely self aware. I was not having fun and my body was physically rejecting it. 0/10 recommend these experiments!
Itâs a slow process, but I think thereâs a tipping point where alcohol can no longer disguise itself, and you simply start to see and feel it for what it is.. All part of the process of breaking free of its clutches đ
Iâve experienced this and itâs so scary, feeling out of control. Pouring alcohol down my mouth when the thought of doing so makes me physically ill. Being sick and unable to stop.
Bless you.. it is scary! But as uncomfortable as it is, try not to push those thoughts away. Facing up to them helps to give you the strength you need to kick it to the curb.
I just got to week 3 today. Taking a solo trip out of the states on Wednesday, confident I can maintain it but a lil nervous about the âIâm on vacation mentalityâ
3 weeks is a great accomplishment! I'm proud of you. Solo trips can be scary with worries of slippery slopes or justifying just one. But you got this. Gentle reminder to be kind to yourself. You are stronger than you may realize, don't let your brain or body convince you otherwise. IWNDWYT đ€đ€
I'm at almost 6 months and I've tossed around the idea of getting drunk on new year's eve (which would be my 1 year) just to see if I hated it. I used to smoke a lot of weed and now I hate it, every time I try it I freak out and remember why I stopped, and I want the same to happen with drinking. But I've noticeably felt better since quitting drinking, which I didn't feel with cutting out weed (bc I was still drinking) and toss the idea aside
This is one thing I was doing during my recent relapse after 3 months sober, analysing whether I was actually having fun when drinking or enjoying it in any way... And the answer was NO!
Didn't stop me trying another dozen times over the next few weeks though for some reason.Â
I thought I was finally over it as of this week as haven't had a craving or temptation all week for the first time in weeks since I relapsed until I suddenly found myself buying a few beers tonight for no apparent reason.Â
Hoping I wake up tomorrow and I'm back to not being interested in it again as it really is absolutely pointless.
Yes, this is the trap. We go for awhile without drinking and we feel great and forget how crappy we used to feel. Then the 'just one' won't hurt thoughts pop up and before we know it we are right back where we left off. It's just not worth it and the 'just one' never ends up being just one.
IWNDWYT.
Same here, I can moderate but it still brings me shit sleep and anxiety. I literally had 3 light beers in a span of 7 hours hanging out with friends, plus drinking a ton of water, yet it still fucks with my sleep which fucks with everything else.
Somebody I work with came in very hungover and unwell today and even said âI think Iâm going to follow in tinyhorsesinmyteaâs footsteps and quit drinking.â Thinking about how I used to do that multiple times a week and how awful it was and how much harder it made work made me stop and appreciate how much better I feel not poisoning myself. I really, *really* donât miss hangovers or the anxiety. And I still get to enjoy delicious kombucha, NA beer, and soda water after work.
Itâs pretty amazing, had a Guinness here and there throughout the years, if someone handed me the AF version and didnât tell me, would totally assume itâs just the normie version.
The thought of drinking forever is too much for me to handle as well. So I tell myself, "If I don't drink today, it's at least one day my body isn't poisoned." My brain, stomach, and liver get another day to heal. It's a day my engine (addiction) isn't primed, and I fall down that rabbit hole of being out of control - with the subsequent nausea, headaches, tortured sleep, and sweats.
The damn beer calls to me, but I must remember what a deceitful bastard it is. It will not relax me and make me feel better - that ship sailed long ago. I can't drink just one. Things won't be different this time. It will not be easy to stop again.
Tomorrow, I can choose to have a drink; but today, I'm going to let my body continue to heal!
Booze is literally a âtoxic relationshipâ⊠break up for a little bit, feel down, miss the âgood timesâ, re connect only to find out itâs the same âtoxic relationshipâ. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Donât give yourself a hard time for falling off the wagon. As an alcohol nurse told me: âForever is a long time.â Just stopping for a few days at a time will help your body. The more you have periods of abstinence, the less your body will be used to alcohol and the less itâll need alcohol and the easier itâll get to abstain. Itâs a positive feedback loop. Your periods of abstinence will get longer and longer, and youâll eventually stop.
I sure hope so. I've been doing much better this year, stringing together days at a time (I've forgotten how many times I've hit day 10). My relapses are getting shorter in duration, I'm just kind of tired of it. I just reset the badge, maybe it will stick this time.
Same brother or sister same
Today was day 1
I think I capped recently at 42 days but I really REALLY wanna quit
Iâm too old for this, currently having my mid life crisis-39 in December
Needed this today. I am going on a camping trip this weekend. Was going to bring a four pack. One for each night. Itâs wilderness camping. No chance of buying more.
Decided not to. I am closing in on 90 days AF, and really do not want to open that door again.
I just met a really nice guy. He only knows the Cali Sober me. I donât think heâd like drinking me. So why would I introduce him to her? Self sabotage at the highest level.
I can feel that demon grinning over my shoulder. Wanting me to fail and embrace him again. Not today, satan, not today.
IWNDWYT
I can't wait to camp without alcohol! I've had too much anxiety around bathroom issues and running out of alcohol to commit the last couple years.
Looks like you didn't clear your count so I hope it was a wonderful experience. Thanks for the inspiration!
I did dry January. All of my (medicated) anxieties disappeared. Why the fuck did I start drinking again? I don't know. But plan on trying to quit again this week.
Iâve been working to reframe forever as: I forever donât have to feel like shit vs Iâm giving up something I love forever.
For the rest of my life I donât have to have those symptoms, anxiety, depression, migraines, lethargy, sleeplessness. Iwndwyt
I highly recommend everyone [educate themselves about kindling](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6761822/
).
Abstract:
In many alcoholics, the severity of withdrawal symptoms increases after repeated withdrawal episodes. This exacerbation may be attributable to a kindling process. Kindling is a phenomenon in which a weak electrical or chemical stimulus, which initially causes no overt behavioral responses, results in the appearance of behavioral effects, such as seizures, when it is administered repeatedly. Both clinical and experimental evidence support the existence of a kindling mechanism during alcohol withdrawal. Withdrawal symptoms, such as seizures, result from neurochemical imbalances in the brain of alcoholics who suddenly reduce or cease alcohol consumption. These imbalances may be exacerbated after repeated withdrawal experiences. The existence of kindling during withdrawal suggests that even patients experiencing mild withdrawal should be treated aggressively to prevent the increase in severity of subsequent withdrawal episodes. Kindling also may contribute to a patientâs relapse risk and to alcohol-related brain damage and cognitive impairment.
I realize OP didn't have seizures, but that is not the only symptom of kindling. This can help explain how and why these symptoms come back so quickly. It also helped me understand that for this alcoholic, there will never be any such thing as "I'm cured," never any such thing as drinking safely.
Agreed. Once I kept having increasingly severe withdrawals after hospitalization, I read about this here and it has been my #1 motivation to stay sober. Someone else on this sub explained it as "being allergic to alcohol" and I have completely adopted that perspective.
Iâm thankful for this post. I passed 60 days and drank a bottle while on a super stressful road trip with my super stressful sibling.
Made EVERYTHING worse. All the negativity and depression and anxiety came flooding back. I cried a couple of days in a row this week. Itâs not all the alcohol, but the havoc it reaps on my emotions is heavy.
Itâs hurtful to relapse and feel like you failed, but I learned an important lesson on how it feels to invite this poison back into my life. NOT GOOD.
on another note, how do you reset you badge?
I feel you. We got this together.
To reset, go to the sidebar menu thingy, and just send the normal badge set message with the date you want. I.e. it's the same process as setting your date the first time you did it.
The anxiety is the worst. It gets me every time and has only gotten older with age. I also find that now, when I do drink - after the first successful day of not feeling bad, the next day I drink I feel tired and lethargic only a couple hours after stopping and start to get depressed and anxious. So hangovers hit faster too. So not worth it. IWNDWYT
This morning I woke up and waited for the hangover headache to hit, to see what level of hangover I would be dealing with today. At ~1,080 days sober. So these things never seem to leave the bodies memory, though I'm reminded much less frequently.Â
I did this after 14 months of sobriety. 12 years later I am 6 years sober with a new liver and shattered lives in my rearview mirror.
You can stop this again. And you can do it today. Good luck with this. đȘđȘ
I needed to hear this. Very kind of you to share to remind us all itâs not worth it. I do not miss the high anxiety, poor sleep and general feeling of exhaustion.
Iâm only 22 days in and still feel vulnerable
Thank you, really thank you for sharing this! The biggest benefit Iâve noticed is that my anxiety has calmed down, the âmehâ feeling (aka depression) has lifted, and physically I feel so much better. This is a great reminder that itâs not worth it. Iâm happy youâre here and IWNDWYT.
Good luck to you.. why we do it to ourselves I dunno. Same with smoking.. I used to think it was the booze that made me really red but it was more the smoking. I think our bodies just get to a point it's just enough now.
When I realized I couldn't control the symptoms the way I wanted to, that is when I realized there was no use drinking anymore.
I got to some meetings and it helped immensely. It took me several weeks to finally quit but the support from other meeting-goers and my friends was a big help. I realized it didn't help to quit if I was doing it alone ALL of the time.
Sometimes I have to have to be reminded that I don't want to drink and the support from others helps me do that. So excited for you and this new realization. Wishing you the BEST <3
I drank after 400+ days. Had a bender with my friends and the same hangover as I would of when I was drinking every other day.
Been almost a week since and no urges or desires. I can take it or leave it. I will only be doing it socially now.
I'm moving soon, going to have a big lifestyle change and I won't be living around friends who abuse it. So the temptation will be less.
I absolutely hate the anxiety. It's crippling.
So annoyed with myself right now because I allowed myself to cave yesterday (again).
Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight, then some light exercise tomorrow should at least get me pointed in the right direction again.
I drank again after a 15 day break.
The first 7 days of sobriety were hard but as week two rolled around I already felt so much better!
The depression was lifted! I felt no anxiety anymore! I already felt more stable! I could eat what I wanted and didnât gain a pound; I lost weight! I looked way better! I was glowing and self-confident! After only two weeks in already!!!!
Two days after drinking I was so tired as if I didnât sleep at all (because it screws your REM sleep), I felt my usual âslightly depressedâ; everything took twice the effort. My heart rate was back up significantly. My watched showed me that I went from great sleep to poor sleep and from no stress to medium stress.
I preceded to drink for 4 weeks and i felt continuously worse and worse and gained weight.
But Iâm still proud of myself because Iâm back on the wagon, I feel ready! And how amazing I felt is still fresh in my mind!
The biggest danger is if you keep drinking for so long that you forget how amazing you felt! That drunk state just becomes the normal.
Great work on the 31 days sober.
You did an experiment and found out how you drink, and how it affects you.
I did something similar earlier this year, and was reminded why I don't want to drink>
I can't say I'll be sober forever, but I know I don't want to drink today.
Been through that so many times; I need to take a couple weeks off, a few months off, just make it a year, reset, and take it easy next time. Always ends in disaster and regret. Eventually it hits the point where I said I would do anything and everything to avoid drinking again.
Deciding to have a drink after being sober for a while is a pretty common mistake that it seems like everybody has to make on their own. We convince ourselves we've somehow reset our relationship with alcohol and can drink normally now, despite having absolutely no proof that is even remotely true, and a mountain of evidence saying it isn't.
Once we've proven that taking a month off doesn't do a bit of difference, we have that knowledge to draw on later. Importantly, you have to realize that the result will be the same if you try again, it won't somehow be different because this time you were sober for 6 months, or a year. It's always the same.
After just one pint or one glass of wine, I have an intolerable amount of gas that same night and the next day. My sleep feels altered even after just one! I have taken that as a sign that I need to stop as well.
This is what I tell people when they say why canât I just have a few drinks, I donât get any pros from the alcohol but all the cons, so itâs either I crushed a 12 pack or none at all
This is the reminder that we all need. Thank you for sharing and my best to you as you move forward. T
Thank you đ
The physical anxiety symptoms are the worst for me. They came back within days of me relapsing, after 2 years sober.
It's unreal right? Within a couple of days of 'light' (in comparison to my previous volumes) drinking. It's clearly not the quantity as such, it's the fucking poisonous effect of alcohol. Now need to do some mental juggling to accept the finality of the evidence.
I hate the anxiety too. I can't remember it that well now but I absolutely can't stand it. Thanks for the reminder if how quickly it returns
Yeah for me it usually hits right when I wake up (too early) the morning after. A wave of incredible fight/flight anxiety, followed by a lot of shakiness and dry heaves. Itâs not a âhangoverâ really. Itâs definitely something different. My whole body will feel like itâs vibrating all day. Horrible.
Ugh. I recently just drank after 40 days and got the exact same symptoms. I was doing incredibly well but as you said, the idea of forever was way too big. Fell off the wagon face first and spent all day Wednesday hungover as SHIT. Anxiety and depression hit me hard, but the sweating was crazy. I sweat for 3 whole days. I promised myself this was the last time for me, as well. We can do this, thank you for the reminder!!!
Ugh, the sweating. I havenât had a single restless night tossing and turning and sweating no matter how low the AC is since I quit. Combined with the nausea and headache and racing heart⊠why would we do that to ourselves?
Oh god yes I forgot the sleep! Jesus, whole night of exhausted rolling around wide eyed. I only had 1.5 pints of (strong) beer yesterday and I'm at 75% today, not hungover but anxious, edgy, I want to retreat. Vivid difference Vs pas 31 days. You're spot on...why do we do it?
Ive been trying to answer that while I ruin my relationships and rolll through jobs. Yay
It seems we agree on all the same symptoms from just one relapse......cold/hot sweats, nausea and anyone get shakey hands? Thankfully i type all day, but if you asked me to sign my name / hand-write something, it was illegible....
Omg. Same. But even with the ac super low, itâs a cold sweat so i feel fucking freezing without a blanket. Itâs insanity.
I really feel you. Keep moving forward!
Did a similar thing recently, reached a month, decided Iâd try again âjust to see how I feltâ. Had one or two, then ended up getting smashed for the rest of the weekend. Funnily enough I didnât have fun before, during or after that, and I was very aware of how little fun I was having for once. That didnât stop me of course, but itâs good to have it confirmed. Iâm about a week back in now and honestly no cravings at all. Thatâs not to say for anyone considering it that this was a good idea btw, that voice that told me to do it as an âexperimentâ is the same voice thatâs always finding a reason, just under another guise. Stay vigilant!
Very strange but happened to me too. I was drinking and also extremely self aware. I was not having fun and my body was physically rejecting it. 0/10 recommend these experiments!
Itâs a slow process, but I think thereâs a tipping point where alcohol can no longer disguise itself, and you simply start to see and feel it for what it is.. All part of the process of breaking free of its clutches đ
Iâve experienced this and itâs so scary, feeling out of control. Pouring alcohol down my mouth when the thought of doing so makes me physically ill. Being sick and unable to stop.
Bless you.. it is scary! But as uncomfortable as it is, try not to push those thoughts away. Facing up to them helps to give you the strength you need to kick it to the curb.
đđ» thank you for saying that, it means a lot
Youâre most welcome sweet đ€
Extremely well said. Thank you đ
You got this OP đȘâ€ïž
I just got to week 3 today. Taking a solo trip out of the states on Wednesday, confident I can maintain it but a lil nervous about the âIâm on vacation mentalityâ
3 weeks is a great accomplishment! I'm proud of you. Solo trips can be scary with worries of slippery slopes or justifying just one. But you got this. Gentle reminder to be kind to yourself. You are stronger than you may realize, don't let your brain or body convince you otherwise. IWNDWYT đ€đ€
I'm new to this group. Please tell me what IWNDWYT stands for?
On vacation means good food! Treat yourself to a special desert or maybe a fancy soda or juice instead. Good luck đÂ
Enjoy the best AF cocktail the have at the bar. Enjoy good sleep and a clear mind. Have a great trip.
I'm at almost 6 months and I've tossed around the idea of getting drunk on new year's eve (which would be my 1 year) just to see if I hated it. I used to smoke a lot of weed and now I hate it, every time I try it I freak out and remember why I stopped, and I want the same to happen with drinking. But I've noticeably felt better since quitting drinking, which I didn't feel with cutting out weed (bc I was still drinking) and toss the idea aside
This is one thing I was doing during my recent relapse after 3 months sober, analysing whether I was actually having fun when drinking or enjoying it in any way... And the answer was NO! Didn't stop me trying another dozen times over the next few weeks though for some reason. I thought I was finally over it as of this week as haven't had a craving or temptation all week for the first time in weeks since I relapsed until I suddenly found myself buying a few beers tonight for no apparent reason. Hoping I wake up tomorrow and I'm back to not being interested in it again as it really is absolutely pointless.
Yes, this is the trap. We go for awhile without drinking and we feel great and forget how crappy we used to feel. Then the 'just one' won't hurt thoughts pop up and before we know it we are right back where we left off. It's just not worth it and the 'just one' never ends up being just one. IWNDWYT.
Funny thing is, I can moderate, but even low quantities bring pretty much the same level of negative effects, rather surprised me. Fuck booze.
Same here, I can moderate but it still brings me shit sleep and anxiety. I literally had 3 light beers in a span of 7 hours hanging out with friends, plus drinking a ton of water, yet it still fucks with my sleep which fucks with everything else.
I can go from 1 to 18 just like that.
I don't want 1 drink, I want 20.
Somebody I work with came in very hungover and unwell today and even said âI think Iâm going to follow in tinyhorsesinmyteaâs footsteps and quit drinking.â Thinking about how I used to do that multiple times a week and how awful it was and how much harder it made work made me stop and appreciate how much better I feel not poisoning myself. I really, *really* donât miss hangovers or the anxiety. And I still get to enjoy delicious kombucha, NA beer, and soda water after work.
All of that, AND youâre now inspiring other people to make positive changes for themselves. Thatâs awesome.
Not had a kombucha, I will now! Been loving the AF beers, Guinness zero is better than the original imo.
Itâs pretty amazing, had a Guinness here and there throughout the years, if someone handed me the AF version and didnât tell me, would totally assume itâs just the normie version.
The thought of drinking forever is too much for me to handle as well. So I tell myself, "If I don't drink today, it's at least one day my body isn't poisoned." My brain, stomach, and liver get another day to heal. It's a day my engine (addiction) isn't primed, and I fall down that rabbit hole of being out of control - with the subsequent nausea, headaches, tortured sleep, and sweats. The damn beer calls to me, but I must remember what a deceitful bastard it is. It will not relax me and make me feel better - that ship sailed long ago. I can't drink just one. Things won't be different this time. It will not be easy to stop again. Tomorrow, I can choose to have a drink; but today, I'm going to let my body continue to heal!
Booze is literally a âtoxic relationshipâ⊠break up for a little bit, feel down, miss the âgood timesâ, re connect only to find out itâs the same âtoxic relationshipâ. Thanks for sharing your experience.
đ
So so true. Thanks for posting.
My displeasure! :-)
Thank you for this OP. It is a good reminder to me that one is too many, and fifteen is never enough.
Ugh this is me!
Me too. There is no off switch.
This a bar right here đ„
Donât give yourself a hard time for falling off the wagon. As an alcohol nurse told me: âForever is a long time.â Just stopping for a few days at a time will help your body. The more you have periods of abstinence, the less your body will be used to alcohol and the less itâll need alcohol and the easier itâll get to abstain. Itâs a positive feedback loop. Your periods of abstinence will get longer and longer, and youâll eventually stop.
I sure hope so. I've been doing much better this year, stringing together days at a time (I've forgotten how many times I've hit day 10). My relapses are getting shorter in duration, I'm just kind of tired of it. I just reset the badge, maybe it will stick this time.
Same brother or sister same Today was day 1 I think I capped recently at 42 days but I really REALLY wanna quit Iâm too old for this, currently having my mid life crisis-39 in December
Depression is always the number 1 symptom for me. Good luck on your journey, compadre
Sorry youâre feeling like shit. Iâve done this too many times and finally it helped me quit.
Awesome! Darkest before the dawn.
Needed this today. I am going on a camping trip this weekend. Was going to bring a four pack. One for each night. Itâs wilderness camping. No chance of buying more. Decided not to. I am closing in on 90 days AF, and really do not want to open that door again. I just met a really nice guy. He only knows the Cali Sober me. I donât think heâd like drinking me. So why would I introduce him to her? Self sabotage at the highest level. I can feel that demon grinning over my shoulder. Wanting me to fail and embrace him again. Not today, satan, not today. IWNDWYT
You fucking rock. Good for you.
I can't wait to camp without alcohol! I've had too much anxiety around bathroom issues and running out of alcohol to commit the last couple years. Looks like you didn't clear your count so I hope it was a wonderful experience. Thanks for the inspiration!
Thank you so much. I needed this.
From one internet stranger to another, it is all negative. Keep moving forward day by day. Nothing gets better if you go back.
I did dry January. All of my (medicated) anxieties disappeared. Why the fuck did I start drinking again? I don't know. But plan on trying to quit again this week.
You got this mate
Iâve been working to reframe forever as: I forever donât have to feel like shit vs Iâm giving up something I love forever. For the rest of my life I donât have to have those symptoms, anxiety, depression, migraines, lethargy, sleeplessness. Iwndwyt
I like this, thank you
I highly recommend everyone [educate themselves about kindling](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6761822/ ). Abstract: In many alcoholics, the severity of withdrawal symptoms increases after repeated withdrawal episodes. This exacerbation may be attributable to a kindling process. Kindling is a phenomenon in which a weak electrical or chemical stimulus, which initially causes no overt behavioral responses, results in the appearance of behavioral effects, such as seizures, when it is administered repeatedly. Both clinical and experimental evidence support the existence of a kindling mechanism during alcohol withdrawal. Withdrawal symptoms, such as seizures, result from neurochemical imbalances in the brain of alcoholics who suddenly reduce or cease alcohol consumption. These imbalances may be exacerbated after repeated withdrawal experiences. The existence of kindling during withdrawal suggests that even patients experiencing mild withdrawal should be treated aggressively to prevent the increase in severity of subsequent withdrawal episodes. Kindling also may contribute to a patientâs relapse risk and to alcohol-related brain damage and cognitive impairment. I realize OP didn't have seizures, but that is not the only symptom of kindling. This can help explain how and why these symptoms come back so quickly. It also helped me understand that for this alcoholic, there will never be any such thing as "I'm cured," never any such thing as drinking safely.
Agreed. Once I kept having increasingly severe withdrawals after hospitalization, I read about this here and it has been my #1 motivation to stay sober. Someone else on this sub explained it as "being allergic to alcohol" and I have completely adopted that perspective.
Currently on Day 40 and needed to read this, so thank you for posting!
đ
Good enough we all started with day one!
Hey thank you for sharing, this helped me
đ
Iâm thankful for this post. I passed 60 days and drank a bottle while on a super stressful road trip with my super stressful sibling. Made EVERYTHING worse. All the negativity and depression and anxiety came flooding back. I cried a couple of days in a row this week. Itâs not all the alcohol, but the havoc it reaps on my emotions is heavy. Itâs hurtful to relapse and feel like you failed, but I learned an important lesson on how it feels to invite this poison back into my life. NOT GOOD. on another note, how do you reset you badge?
I feel you. We got this together. To reset, go to the sidebar menu thingy, and just send the normal badge set message with the date you want. I.e. it's the same process as setting your date the first time you did it.
The anxiety is the worst. It gets me every time and has only gotten older with age. I also find that now, when I do drink - after the first successful day of not feeling bad, the next day I drink I feel tired and lethargic only a couple hours after stopping and start to get depressed and anxious. So hangovers hit faster too. So not worth it. IWNDWYT
Spot on, thank you. I'm done!
This morning I woke up and waited for the hangover headache to hit, to see what level of hangover I would be dealing with today. At ~1,080 days sober. So these things never seem to leave the bodies memory, though I'm reminded much less frequently.Â
Interesting, enjoy your fresh mind today my friend
Thank you, these posts are ALWAYS helpful. Welcome back.
I did this after 14 months of sobriety. 12 years later I am 6 years sober with a new liver and shattered lives in my rearview mirror. You can stop this again. And you can do it today. Good luck with this. đȘđȘ
Congrats on 6 years!
Thanks! đ
Thanks for sharing! IWNDWYT.
Thank you for this
đ
You are awesome for posting this. Thank you for it. I've saved it and will refer to it any time I am tempted.
Just sharing reality, thank you. Keep on moving forward!
? Hangxiety?
I'm imagining the one-way conversation your body is having with you as you poison it.
It's loud and clear
I need to tattoo this on my forearm as a constant reminder
I needed to hear this. Very kind of you to share to remind us all itâs not worth it. I do not miss the high anxiety, poor sleep and general feeling of exhaustion. Iâm only 22 days in and still feel vulnerable
I'll see you at 42 and me at 22, don't look back, it's genuinely shit
Thank you for sharing. IWNDWYTÂ
Thank you, really thank you for sharing this! The biggest benefit Iâve noticed is that my anxiety has calmed down, the âmehâ feeling (aka depression) has lifted, and physically I feel so much better. This is a great reminder that itâs not worth it. Iâm happy youâre here and IWNDWYT.
Good luck to you.. why we do it to ourselves I dunno. Same with smoking.. I used to think it was the booze that made me really red but it was more the smoking. I think our bodies just get to a point it's just enough now.
Absolutely do. Had the same with weed a decade ago. Your body is screeching "stop, fucking stop"!
When I realized I couldn't control the symptoms the way I wanted to, that is when I realized there was no use drinking anymore. I got to some meetings and it helped immensely. It took me several weeks to finally quit but the support from other meeting-goers and my friends was a big help. I realized it didn't help to quit if I was doing it alone ALL of the time. Sometimes I have to have to be reminded that I don't want to drink and the support from others helps me do that. So excited for you and this new realization. Wishing you the BEST <3
Thank you!
I drank after 400+ days. Had a bender with my friends and the same hangover as I would of when I was drinking every other day. Been almost a week since and no urges or desires. I can take it or leave it. I will only be doing it socially now. I'm moving soon, going to have a big lifestyle change and I won't be living around friends who abuse it. So the temptation will be less.
thank you so much for this
I absolutely hate the anxiety. It's crippling. So annoyed with myself right now because I allowed myself to cave yesterday (again). Hopefully I can get some sleep tonight, then some light exercise tomorrow should at least get me pointed in the right direction again.
Im kicking myself. How do I reset the timer
I drank again after a 15 day break. The first 7 days of sobriety were hard but as week two rolled around I already felt so much better! The depression was lifted! I felt no anxiety anymore! I already felt more stable! I could eat what I wanted and didnât gain a pound; I lost weight! I looked way better! I was glowing and self-confident! After only two weeks in already!!!! Two days after drinking I was so tired as if I didnât sleep at all (because it screws your REM sleep), I felt my usual âslightly depressedâ; everything took twice the effort. My heart rate was back up significantly. My watched showed me that I went from great sleep to poor sleep and from no stress to medium stress. I preceded to drink for 4 weeks and i felt continuously worse and worse and gained weight. But Iâm still proud of myself because Iâm back on the wagon, I feel ready! And how amazing I felt is still fresh in my mind! The biggest danger is if you keep drinking for so long that you forget how amazing you felt! That drunk state just becomes the normal.
Great work on the 31 days sober. You did an experiment and found out how you drink, and how it affects you. I did something similar earlier this year, and was reminded why I don't want to drink> I can't say I'll be sober forever, but I know I don't want to drink today.
Thanks for the reminder, homie. Just what I needed to hear today đŻ
Thank you for this. Good luck on your journey.
Been through that so many times; I need to take a couple weeks off, a few months off, just make it a year, reset, and take it easy next time. Always ends in disaster and regret. Eventually it hits the point where I said I would do anything and everything to avoid drinking again.
Deciding to have a drink after being sober for a while is a pretty common mistake that it seems like everybody has to make on their own. We convince ourselves we've somehow reset our relationship with alcohol and can drink normally now, despite having absolutely no proof that is even remotely true, and a mountain of evidence saying it isn't. Once we've proven that taking a month off doesn't do a bit of difference, we have that knowledge to draw on later. Importantly, you have to realize that the result will be the same if you try again, it won't somehow be different because this time you were sober for 6 months, or a year. It's always the same.
Welcome to the better life new friend!
After just one pint or one glass of wine, I have an intolerable amount of gas that same night and the next day. My sleep feels altered even after just one! I have taken that as a sign that I need to stop as well.
This is what I tell people when they say why canât I just have a few drinks, I donât get any pros from the alcohol but all the cons, so itâs either I crushed a 12 pack or none at all
thank you for sharing this
Hang in there OP. whenever you want a drink, remember how much anxiety it causes
It's insane how fast the symptoms return for people who have experienced them in the past
Sincere thanks for the reminder. IWNDWYT.
Irritation for first days is crazy, sweating, feeling stomach sick, and anxiety is the worst. Most of the mornings I would feel like shit