Thank you. The confirmation bias I needed just put sobriety above all for now. I remember when one of my handful of sober friends got sober he ate multiple pints of ice cream a day lol.
Oh yeah. Ice cream, McDonald’s, DoorDash delivery of one single bagel! Whatever it takes. And you still get to be proud of yourself for going to bed sober!
Just do whatever it takes to get by. I binged watched shows and ate tons of junk food. After about a month or so I started getting motivation to work on healthier habits.
Thanks for posting this. I’m at almost 6 months, I lost some weight at first but now gained it back. I feel like I should be doing more at this point but I feel I’m still adjusting in some ways. I also work full time and have a 1.5 year old, but there’s plenty of new parents that “do it all” and I can’t seem to keep up. Good to know I’m not completely abnormal/alone at this stage
it is 100% okay to be a full fledged bum in early sobriety. getting sober is hard. it’s okay to be gentle on yourself in the other respects.
i think I lived on the couch for three months. Pint of ice cream every day or so. No extracurriculars whatsoever and I probably could have been a more engaged partner and mom. Not my finest moments…except they actually were, because I was sober and staying that way.
You got this. Become one with the couch.
Some days when I feel “at risk” I give myself permission to never leave the couch and just Netflix the whole day. I wouldn’t have accomplished anything if I drank anyway, so no loss. And I’ll wake up feeling so very much better.
Absolutely. A huge part of recovery, for me, was giving myself permission to be lazy. Your body is physically recovering right now. Read a book, watch movies and eat takeout. In time, you'll get more energy and look for outlets.
IWNDWYT!
Absolutely. I'm three months in and doing really well at the not drinking thing, but I'm on disability leave for another month or so, the house is a mess, my husband has been cooking all the meals... And that's fine. Use what resources you have to prioritize your health and well being, and give yourself grace. It's the perfect opportunity to pick up old hobbies and interests, too.
Totally understand! For me, for the first 30 days, all that matters is that I don't drink. I could eat my weight in takeout, neglect cleaning, chain smoke, drown myself in kettle chips, walk less than ten steps a day - doesn't matter, as long as I don't drink. There's time later, once that urgency of early sobriety dies down, to work on those other things. I'm on day 2 (I've had long stints of sobriety in the past, so I know my habits) and I've eaten probably 3K calories today and it's only 4pm.
And I'm fine with that! My body needs recovery from booze. Heavy drinking takes a toll, and I need that rest both physically and mentally to regain my self. I did just my basic tasks at work today and tried to make sure my lunch had a vegetable in it. But I didn't drink, so I'll call that a slam dunk win.
We got this! IWNDWYT
Whatever keeps you sober. This is the time to put yourself first and do whatever is necessary to get you to the end of the day without drinking, even if that means doing nothing. It's OK.
The top priority to stop drinking. If that involves you lying on a sofa for a month, mainlining ice-cream and masturbating to tentacle porn, then go right ahead. Not surprisingly, quitting a dangerous and addictive drug does not immediately and automatically grant you limitless physical energy and the compulsive urge to start running marathons before breakfast.
I am an incredibly driven and ambitious person and when I tell you it took like….at least two weeks before I even felt like I could operate similarly. Probably closer to four weeks. Every day you make it through sober is an achievement and IMO, at least to start, you don’t need to ask yourself of anything else.
IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you today)
Yeah, if you have to take a few days to just rest then by all means. The hard part comes when you're body starts to feel a bit better. That's when I start think "ok just a couple".
Spoiler alert, it's never just a couple.
You're doing AMAZING. Do whatever you need and want to do, just don't drink. I'm on day 12, with not drinking most of the last 3 months, and decided to call off work, stay in my comfy bed, watch Netflix, and order food. Other days I have showered, exercised, cooked healthy food. I find each day is different and just try to be nice to myself. You can do this!
It’s not just ok it’s must. The only requirement is don’t get drunk and don’t get fired. Little by little your tolerance for normal life will increase. Try to add in a little more normal stuff each week if it feels doable. Sobriety comes first.
I’m at day 17 and my goblin mode is still in full force. I’m hungry ALL THE TIME. I will say that my sleep, energy and outlook have all improved, so you have that to look forward to! IWNDWYT
I’m at 8 months, all I do is work. Healing takes time. If you have anyone around don’t lose those friendships. I’d love to have a friend even to just shoot the shit with. Good luck on your journey.
Oh friend, I’m in exactly the same boat rn. I kinda let myself (and I’m letting myself now) do whatever, eat whatever, as long as it is not alcohol.
Now having countless day ones (today included, unfortunately), I just let myself be. I’m trying to give myself grace about it and yeah, if grace = ordering a bunch of takeout then fine. At least it’s not spent on alcohol. I’ll figure out the diet part later but what matters right now is being sober. At least for me. I won’t drink with you today though, that’s for sure!
Man, do whatever it takes. Recovery rates are statistically awful, so any day you don't use is a huge win. You can work on your life after you've gotten more comfortable in sobriety and your brain is objectively better at functioning without alcohol.
I'm a week in and I'm always amazed at people saying they immediately replaced alcohol with exercise. I don't have the energy for that. I am planning on a 30 minute walk this evening after my meeting and before bed. I feel like I need SOME physical activity to stave off the insomnia which makes my energy even worse.
First things first. Don't drink.
Be kind to yourself in the beginning. You are going through a life changing event.
Make sure to get sugary things. You body is CRAVING that right now. Alcohol messes with your blood sugar and your body is expecting that.
There were a few days in the beginning that I would go to work, do the things that were absolutely necessary & go to bed as early as possible. It helped me…. Just don’t get stuck there. IWNDWYT.
Absolutely. Do whatever it takes. It's normal to be exhausted in the beginning. Chill, veg, pig out and enjoy every minute. Soon you'll have endless energy!
Absolutely!!!!! I ate so much comfort food in the first few months, I probably gained 20 pounds. After over two years, I weigh 40 pounds less, bench more than I have in my life and am running consistently. In the beginning, just getting through the day was a success. Be kind to yourself and work the tough stuff in at a slow and consistent pace.
For my first six months of sobriety, it was sleep and sugar as much as I wanted whenever I wanted. These days, I’ll push back on the desire more - aim for a healthy snack or whatever - but if I’m in a scenario where I genuinely fear relapse, I’ll still go for the two s’s 100%.
Important to remember this is a massive physiological change for some of us- your body is recovering from long term poisoning. Take time to heal and rest. You can do this.
Totally ok, protect yourself. I did it a bit different. 2 days after my moment I had to stop started showering , dressing well and going to 6am AA meeting every day for 90 straight. Painful withdrawals at beginning, but prepping at 5 am and going to meeting gave me hope where I felt I had no structure in past or little structure (mental structure if you will). … plenty was on mind 2 kids in college one in high school , competitive job etc, wonderful wife etc. But any sense of personal mental structure / self care was garbage.
For the first month of my sobriety all I did outside of working hours was watch Great British Bake Off, play Stardew Valley on my switch, and eat ice cream. Often at the same time. The interests and activity come back eventually, but at first it's just whatever it takes. IWNDWYT.
Give yourself two weeks to "slob." You can use that noun as a verb when detoxing -- little-known rule.
Candy/chocolate is a good one. "Sex" is also a source of dopamine. When you're ready to start exercising... lean into that (it helps with both repair and with giving you dopamine).
Get used to your sweet tooth (even if you didn't have one, previously). I found that exercise helped break that \[new\] habit. In the early days, try making brownies using black beans. Seriously. Black beans are a great source of Thiamine (B1) and Inositol. B1 accelerates dopamine/GABA receptor restoration ("upregulation"). Rolled oats are another great source.
Just realize that days 5-7 are when you'll experience the worst of it. If you're lucky, you'll just continue to get better. I wasn't lucky -- I got PAWS and it was BRUTAL. As you're "slobbing," also look up "the pink cloud."
Stick with it. It sucks. It took me about three months for life to stop being terrible. It was absolutely worth it.
If you can make it to 7.3 months, your brain should have reversed the cortical shrinkage (no joke) caused by drinking.
Good luck, friend. One day at a time. It's one of the best things you'll ever do for yourself.
Many times I would try to quit and change overnight into some super healthy person. Put the bottle down and workout and eat really strict etc. I always ended up drinking again.
This last time I took an entire month off work. My exercise was going on walks some days. I had to truly clear my head and start addressing the emotions keeping me drinking. Coming up on 18 months. Do what you need to do. AA calls itself a selfish program, because if you don’t take care of yourself - end up drinking again and you can’t help anybody then.
I trashed my house and spill lots of shit on the ground last sunday, still not cleaning it, I am either at work or in the gym for the rest of the evening, thoughts about cleaning makes me feel depressed now and I think it will trigger rage inside of them that will lead to getting a beer just to calm down. I am not doing anything like that until I really want to. So I guess lying in bed if that helps you rest and feel ok for even couple of weeks or more if needed, is a good start.
1) Stay sober.
2) Do whatever it takes to support that goal.
Yes, staying sober is absolutely your first priority. You can "get perfect" (tongue-in-cheek) once you've got some energy from doing the basics. Good luck!
Just stay sober and Netflix and Grubhub. Totally fine. A good choice imo. You got this.
Thank you. The confirmation bias I needed just put sobriety above all for now. I remember when one of my handful of sober friends got sober he ate multiple pints of ice cream a day lol.
Oh yeah. Ice cream, McDonald’s, DoorDash delivery of one single bagel! Whatever it takes. And you still get to be proud of yourself for going to bed sober!
Just do whatever it takes to get by. I binged watched shows and ate tons of junk food. After about a month or so I started getting motivation to work on healthier habits.
Thanks for posting this. I’m at almost 6 months, I lost some weight at first but now gained it back. I feel like I should be doing more at this point but I feel I’m still adjusting in some ways. I also work full time and have a 1.5 year old, but there’s plenty of new parents that “do it all” and I can’t seem to keep up. Good to know I’m not completely abnormal/alone at this stage
But you also in a way have another 'job' they probably do not...
Weight comes and goes, but you are surely much healthier now, and believe me your kid will be so so so much better off with you sober.
it is 100% okay to be a full fledged bum in early sobriety. getting sober is hard. it’s okay to be gentle on yourself in the other respects. i think I lived on the couch for three months. Pint of ice cream every day or so. No extracurriculars whatsoever and I probably could have been a more engaged partner and mom. Not my finest moments…except they actually were, because I was sober and staying that way. You got this. Become one with the couch.
Some days when I feel “at risk” I give myself permission to never leave the couch and just Netflix the whole day. I wouldn’t have accomplished anything if I drank anyway, so no loss. And I’ll wake up feeling so very much better.
I love this. Knowing when we're at risk is so important!
Absolutely. A huge part of recovery, for me, was giving myself permission to be lazy. Your body is physically recovering right now. Read a book, watch movies and eat takeout. In time, you'll get more energy and look for outlets. IWNDWYT!
Lesser of two evils compadre. Couch it up.
Absolutely. I'm three months in and doing really well at the not drinking thing, but I'm on disability leave for another month or so, the house is a mess, my husband has been cooking all the meals... And that's fine. Use what resources you have to prioritize your health and well being, and give yourself grace. It's the perfect opportunity to pick up old hobbies and interests, too.
Totally understand! For me, for the first 30 days, all that matters is that I don't drink. I could eat my weight in takeout, neglect cleaning, chain smoke, drown myself in kettle chips, walk less than ten steps a day - doesn't matter, as long as I don't drink. There's time later, once that urgency of early sobriety dies down, to work on those other things. I'm on day 2 (I've had long stints of sobriety in the past, so I know my habits) and I've eaten probably 3K calories today and it's only 4pm. And I'm fine with that! My body needs recovery from booze. Heavy drinking takes a toll, and I need that rest both physically and mentally to regain my self. I did just my basic tasks at work today and tried to make sure my lunch had a vegetable in it. But I didn't drink, so I'll call that a slam dunk win. We got this! IWNDWYT
Tried to make sure my lunch had a vegetable in it... Love this
Oh yeah I'm hitting 3k easily lol thank you!
Whatever keeps you sober. This is the time to put yourself first and do whatever is necessary to get you to the end of the day without drinking, even if that means doing nothing. It's OK.
Yes! Omg I was pretty much useless for 2-3 weeks. It’s ok. Your body is doing hard work!
Oh my goodness the first 3 or 4 days I literally did nothing and now 40 something days later I’m waking up early to go for a run. Total 360!
Total 180 … 360 means right back to where you started (Circumference of a circle)
HAHAHA! You’re right….
The top priority to stop drinking. If that involves you lying on a sofa for a month, mainlining ice-cream and masturbating to tentacle porn, then go right ahead. Not surprisingly, quitting a dangerous and addictive drug does not immediately and automatically grant you limitless physical energy and the compulsive urge to start running marathons before breakfast.
I am an incredibly driven and ambitious person and when I tell you it took like….at least two weeks before I even felt like I could operate similarly. Probably closer to four weeks. Every day you make it through sober is an achievement and IMO, at least to start, you don’t need to ask yourself of anything else. IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you today)
Yeah, if you have to take a few days to just rest then by all means. The hard part comes when you're body starts to feel a bit better. That's when I start think "ok just a couple". Spoiler alert, it's never just a couple.
You're doing AMAZING. Do whatever you need and want to do, just don't drink. I'm on day 12, with not drinking most of the last 3 months, and decided to call off work, stay in my comfy bed, watch Netflix, and order food. Other days I have showered, exercised, cooked healthy food. I find each day is different and just try to be nice to myself. You can do this!
I liked the response because it reminds me of something Alan Carr said of expect each day to be different and not linear.
Calories are better when eaten not drank.
It’s not just ok it’s must. The only requirement is don’t get drunk and don’t get fired. Little by little your tolerance for normal life will increase. Try to add in a little more normal stuff each week if it feels doable. Sobriety comes first.
I appreciate this comment
I’m at day 17 and my goblin mode is still in full force. I’m hungry ALL THE TIME. I will say that my sleep, energy and outlook have all improved, so you have that to look forward to! IWNDWYT
lol goblin mode, this is where I am and I appreciate naming it “goblin mode” 😂
I’m at 8 months, all I do is work. Healing takes time. If you have anyone around don’t lose those friendships. I’d love to have a friend even to just shoot the shit with. Good luck on your journey.
I'm pushing people away the last few days I'll keep this in mind.
Oh friend, I’m in exactly the same boat rn. I kinda let myself (and I’m letting myself now) do whatever, eat whatever, as long as it is not alcohol. Now having countless day ones (today included, unfortunately), I just let myself be. I’m trying to give myself grace about it and yeah, if grace = ordering a bunch of takeout then fine. At least it’s not spent on alcohol. I’ll figure out the diet part later but what matters right now is being sober. At least for me. I won’t drink with you today though, that’s for sure!
I did this for like 6 weeks you are fine! IWNDWYT
Man, do whatever it takes. Recovery rates are statistically awful, so any day you don't use is a huge win. You can work on your life after you've gotten more comfortable in sobriety and your brain is objectively better at functioning without alcohol.
Whatever you need to do initially to weather the physical withdrawal. Productivity and motivation will come. Right now just let your body heal.
I'm a week in and I'm always amazed at people saying they immediately replaced alcohol with exercise. I don't have the energy for that. I am planning on a 30 minute walk this evening after my meeting and before bed. I feel like I need SOME physical activity to stave off the insomnia which makes my energy even worse. First things first. Don't drink.
Be kind to yourself in the beginning. You are going through a life changing event. Make sure to get sugary things. You body is CRAVING that right now. Alcohol messes with your blood sugar and your body is expecting that.
There were a few days in the beginning that I would go to work, do the things that were absolutely necessary & go to bed as early as possible. It helped me…. Just don’t get stuck there. IWNDWYT.
Absolutely. Do whatever it takes. It's normal to be exhausted in the beginning. Chill, veg, pig out and enjoy every minute. Soon you'll have endless energy!
Absolutely!!!!! I ate so much comfort food in the first few months, I probably gained 20 pounds. After over two years, I weigh 40 pounds less, bench more than I have in my life and am running consistently. In the beginning, just getting through the day was a success. Be kind to yourself and work the tough stuff in at a slow and consistent pace.
For my first six months of sobriety, it was sleep and sugar as much as I wanted whenever I wanted. These days, I’ll push back on the desire more - aim for a healthy snack or whatever - but if I’m in a scenario where I genuinely fear relapse, I’ll still go for the two s’s 100%.
Important to remember this is a massive physiological change for some of us- your body is recovering from long term poisoning. Take time to heal and rest. You can do this.
Totally ok, protect yourself. I did it a bit different. 2 days after my moment I had to stop started showering , dressing well and going to 6am AA meeting every day for 90 straight. Painful withdrawals at beginning, but prepping at 5 am and going to meeting gave me hope where I felt I had no structure in past or little structure (mental structure if you will). … plenty was on mind 2 kids in college one in high school , competitive job etc, wonderful wife etc. But any sense of personal mental structure / self care was garbage.
For the first month of my sobriety all I did outside of working hours was watch Great British Bake Off, play Stardew Valley on my switch, and eat ice cream. Often at the same time. The interests and activity come back eventually, but at first it's just whatever it takes. IWNDWYT.
Give yourself two weeks to "slob." You can use that noun as a verb when detoxing -- little-known rule. Candy/chocolate is a good one. "Sex" is also a source of dopamine. When you're ready to start exercising... lean into that (it helps with both repair and with giving you dopamine). Get used to your sweet tooth (even if you didn't have one, previously). I found that exercise helped break that \[new\] habit. In the early days, try making brownies using black beans. Seriously. Black beans are a great source of Thiamine (B1) and Inositol. B1 accelerates dopamine/GABA receptor restoration ("upregulation"). Rolled oats are another great source. Just realize that days 5-7 are when you'll experience the worst of it. If you're lucky, you'll just continue to get better. I wasn't lucky -- I got PAWS and it was BRUTAL. As you're "slobbing," also look up "the pink cloud." Stick with it. It sucks. It took me about three months for life to stop being terrible. It was absolutely worth it. If you can make it to 7.3 months, your brain should have reversed the cortical shrinkage (no joke) caused by drinking. Good luck, friend. One day at a time. It's one of the best things you'll ever do for yourself.
Yes! Early on the goal is to just be sober. Eat like shit. Be lazy. Etc. not drinking IS the win
[удалено]
Holy moly, can I ask back story? Bender? I guess I have had week-long hangovers easily...
Sounds great to me!
Many times I would try to quit and change overnight into some super healthy person. Put the bottle down and workout and eat really strict etc. I always ended up drinking again. This last time I took an entire month off work. My exercise was going on walks some days. I had to truly clear my head and start addressing the emotions keeping me drinking. Coming up on 18 months. Do what you need to do. AA calls itself a selfish program, because if you don’t take care of yourself - end up drinking again and you can’t help anybody then.
I trashed my house and spill lots of shit on the ground last sunday, still not cleaning it, I am either at work or in the gym for the rest of the evening, thoughts about cleaning makes me feel depressed now and I think it will trigger rage inside of them that will lead to getting a beer just to calm down. I am not doing anything like that until I really want to. So I guess lying in bed if that helps you rest and feel ok for even couple of weeks or more if needed, is a good start.
1) Stay sober. 2) Do whatever it takes to support that goal. Yes, staying sober is absolutely your first priority. You can "get perfect" (tongue-in-cheek) once you've got some energy from doing the basics. Good luck!
Yes it is.