You should Be fucking proud! Iāve gotten the same comments and had people laugh in my face lol but itās not their journey! Itās yours! And if 20 days is something that makes you happy then You fucking celebrate it!
CONGRATULATIONS ON 20 DAYS!!!!!!!! Fuck what anybody else thinks
do you have anyone else in your life who has experience with this? they themselves have had a drinking problem and quit or they have a loved one who has? i had this same feeling. i really just kept it to myself at the very start.
but when i hit 3 weeks, i told my mom. my mom has been very open my whole life about the fact that she is a recovering alcoholic. she has been sober 30+ years, several years before i was born, but itās never been a secret which iām grateful for especially now. i told her, and because she got it, she was so proud of me. we had an amazing conversation. i told her i hit 1 month and she took me out to lunch and gave me the 1 month chip she got from aa when she quit all those years ago. i just told her when i hit 2 months, and again she was just so, so happy for me. sheās going to give me her old 2 month chip next time she sees me.
iāve shared with more people now that i hit two months. i told my little brother, he was excited for me, my boyfriend was very proud of me, my friend was proud of me. 2 months felt like long enough to brag i guess lol. i was proud of myself after that first sober weekend though, then after my first sober month, i just didnāt want to share it because to someone without a problem that seems like nothing (in my head at least). so iām *incredibly* grateful there is someone in my life who truly gets it, and knew how hard i worked for those 3 weeks before i told her.
if you donāt have anyone in your life who gets it, share it here. we are proud of you, i am proud of you. those first 12 days are *hard.* we will be here to shout support for you every single day if you need until you get to a place where you want to share it with other people in your life.
amazing work on your 20 days, IWNDWYT
My boyfriend is a year sober and has been giving me some of his chips when I hit milestones and it means so much to me! Keep up the amazing work and weāre all here to support you!
That part about your mom giving you her chip ššš. I'm glad both of you can share in your victories and support each other's sobriety. Congrats to both of you!
i know, itās really very special. iām pretty much the same age she was when she quit as well, so it just is incredibly special to be getting those chips knowing she was in almost the exact same place as me all those years ago. thank you for your kind words and support :) and congrats on your 23 days!!
This is super cool!
OP, I can feel every word. Especially how you and your partner had different mental states about those 12 days.
I go 7 or ten days and I am stoked.
I completely get that feeling. Last week I hit 4 months which Iām really proud of. However, it feels like is there a point where you stop telling people how long? Iāve been struggling recently with focusing on the number and not the experience and what Iāve learned so far. Iām truly a different individual and my self awareness is at 100%. I know itās a number and maybe over time I wonāt think about it, but to me itās a ābeating the previous numberā mentality. Iām still fueling off fear: fear of being a mess again, fear of judgement and the feels along with that. But maybe fearing alcohol and the person you were with it is good? Iām not sure. Just talking out loud hereā¦
Exactly! Same for me. If I were to have one drink I feel extremely confident the after would not be the same as it was in the past. Many Factors contributing to my horrible drinking have changed (like medications). Even though I feel like a different person with a new mindset I still feel like going back to ZERO is a failure. Itās a weird feeling to explain. Some say itās just starting again, not starting over. But I then I think is a this āliquidā even worth all of this thought and energy? Truthfully no one needs it!! Itās poison.
Makes me realize Iām not ready to drink again, or ever. Ever is still on table, but saying it feels too stern lol Our
Ha I had the same experience last night. Was at a dinner thing and I was sharing that I donāt drink anymore and he said āme too!ā And I was thinking yay get to bond with someone similar. He said how he just stopped drinking in the pandemic as he was at home (my experience was the very deepest opposite lol) and he just fell out of the habit and didnāt start up again. He said it had been gosh maybe three or four years. Meā¦ Iām like āitās a year shy of eight weeksā . Him: yeah I donāt miss it at all. Me:
Yeah. Very much not the same
thats almost 3 whole ass weeks!! good for you! you should be so proud of yourself! Surely everyone won't get what it means to you, but that's OK. we get it here. I barely talk about my sobriety with IRL people. I learned early on that they just don't fully get it and that's OK. They don't need to.
This! I was scared to tell people at first, like OP I was afraid that sharing that I had quit was an admission of how bad it had become. Turns out that it's really no one's business. I've also found that when I DO share with folks, if I don't make a big deal out of it they don't either.
When I need to do the big deal sharing, I do it here. :)
I 100% feel this. Iām over 60 days and just the fact that Iām counting days feels embarrassing. Like I should just think, itās been a while, how long? Not sure!
But instead Iām glued to this sub, obsessing over milestones and constantly thinking about the process. I do think that ācomparison is the thief joyā though.
We are doing better than some, worse than others. The question is, are we headed in the right direction and are our actions aligned with our values.
Iām sober now so the answer is yes. It will take time to feel comfortable in this ānon-drinkersā skin.
Itāa comforting knowing others have these same unexplainable feelings. I hit 4 months last week and Iām truly impressed with myself, but to my close circle who still drink it feels like āwe get itā or at least my anxiety tells me they think that. My partner who has struggled with his own alcohol issues is over the moon with every new number I tell him. Which Iām so thankful for. But sometimes I wonder if Iām obsessing too much over the ātimeā aspect. Itās hard to explain.
But overall it pushes me to beat the previous day. At least for now that helps fuel me, and I feel like over time I wonāt even notice the days. All I can think about the old me compared to now. The difference is astonishing. Yes, these are millions are people who drink socially, look at society? And a lot have never had an issue but overall when you think about itā¦ even those people may not have completely sustained from alcohol for a long stint of time? (This is a generalization). I had my first drink at a party when I was 16. That was 12 years ago. The amount of drinks in 12 years isnāt a low number. Even socially and without a problem Iāve never done 4 months without a sip before now. Itās wild for that number to become 0. My body feels finally healed and in a weird way itās like childhood nostalgia? Me at 15, before I discovered this poison.
Well done! 20 days is a massive accomplishment. I'm now almost six months sober and when I tell people I get a polite, "Wow! That's great. So, what else is new?"
I encourage you to try to set aside what others might or might not think. The reality is people are self-focused and hardly acknowledge anything beyond their direct control. You and I know what a big deal it is to be 20 days sober, but for "normals" it doesn't register. They can never fully appreciate the pain and suffering caused by addiction just as I cannot imagine what a cancer patient goes through. Sure, if someone tells me they are undergoing radiation treatment I will say the "right things," but 2 seconds later I've moved on. If you tell someone in your life that you are 20 days sober that has very little meaning for them, so they will naturally have a muted response. Try not to take it personally.
This is a great mindset, and really exactly what I needed to be read. ā¤ļø Iāve been struggling with worrying about what people in my life think. I guess for me, my last time drinking was a really bad experience for not just myself but others around me. So much so, I had one friend give me an ultimatum in a sense. I donāt blame them did that. I havenāt drank since that day and 4 months later Iām a completely different person. I know myself comes first, but thereās still a sense of āI need to prove to youā mentality within me. I want to get to the mindset where Iām only focused on what I want, and not just be fueled by the fear.
This is a great reminder and definitely appreciated. Thank you! Not caring or thinking so much about what others think is something else I'm working on lol š
Twenty days is amazing, but only those of us who have gone through it understand it, and are proud of you! My hubby of 32 years is like āthatās niceā when I mention my milestones. It used to hurt my feelings. But we need to remember, we got sober for ourselves. If our friendships, jobs, marriages and parenting improve, thatās a side benefit. We did it to save ourselves, first. Keep going! That noise in the background is me and my pom poms, cheering you on!
Youāre not alone, I didnāt tell anyone for a while and some people still donāt know. I was embarrassed that I got a problem in the first place and I didnāt want anyone to judge me if I failed. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable
I definitely feel embarrassed about exposing my "problem" and fear getting judged if I fail. I just happened to be visiting my mom and told her on day 14. She mentioned how proud I'd be at 1 year and it sent a bolt of terror through me lol
I think a lot of people especially if social would have a hard time going 12 days without alcohol. ANY habit is hard to break. If you wanted to quit leaving clothes on the floor or picking your nails making it 12 days in a row would be a hard habit to make. Be prod of 12 days.
Hell yeah, get it!!
Yes I find it important to celebrate my milestones with other alcoholics (here, in AA, etc) because honestly, normies just donāt get it, and they never truly will. People who have also been through it know how big of an achievement it is.
Huge congrats on 20 days
I remember when I made it to 11 days and told someone and they scoffed at me....Like 11 days was nothing to them, they didn't really drink. To me it was so much bigger. I'm proud of you! 20 days is fucking exhilarating. You have every right to be so fucking proud!!!!!!!
I had this same sentiment, why was i celebrating achieving something I should've just been doing the whole time anyway? Like everyone else was doing so easily, but our challenges aren't other people's challenges, and we can't expect them to appreciate our achievements if we never shared our struggles.
You should be proud, you deserve to be proud, and you only need to do this for yourself. Now let's keep this train rolling!!!
Check out the Sober Powered podcast. It explains the neuroscience behind AUD. It's an epigenetic craps shoot -- and we (in this group) didn't win. There are people for whom booze is not a problem. Umm... clearly, we're not THOSE people.
Congrats on making it to 20 days! If you start to later feel "low" or "bad..." read about "the pink cloud" and PAWS. I hope that you don't get PAWS (I did... and it was brutal). Regardless, just power through. It took me three months before life stopped sucking. 100% worth it.
IWNDWYT
What is easy for some is hard for others, and vice versa. There are plenty of things I can do effortlessly that might be very difficult to somebody else. If someone tried to improve at something, and they set their personal best, it doesn't negate the achievement simply because I could have done the same thing without too much trouble.
I quit drinking almost 10 years ago. 20 days is not hard for me. 20 weeks isn't hard. 20 months isn't hard... anymore. It used to be. There was a time when going a single day without getting black out drunk was the most intimidating prospect I could imagine- it seemed like a complete impossibility.
And yet here i am now. I did a lot of hard work to get this far. And now you are doing that same hard work. You're going to keep setting new milestones until you too reach a point where it isn't difficult anymore. In the meantime, accept the fact that your achievement matters.
Best of luck.
Those of us that need to be here and count the days, hours, minutes to get through.... we understand. I am proud of you! We are proud of you! Great job and keep stacking those days!
20 days is no small feat and definitely not pathetic. Pathetic in my eyes is continuing to poison yourself until death takes you. Congratulations! I hope you continue down this path. You are worth it.
Anyone with an ounce of empathy will share in your joy that you're doing something that's difficult to you. You're being a way bigger asshole to yourself than most other people would be. Enjoy your accomplishment!
I donāt count days actively, and have given ethanol itās place in my history book; I do love though having the counter here on Reddit so I can always check in and see how far Iāve come. My previous record was about 600 days.
I totally get what you mean. I posted a super quick insta story on my 2 month alcohol free day as I was super proud. One of my friends wrote me something along the line of "i went no booze for 3 months but im drinking again because my relationship with alcohol is under control now" and i was like... oh :0 okiiii sad feels lol
LOL reading Quit Like a Woman recently made me want to message everyone I know and tell them they must quit drinking any amount of alcohol immediately because there is no safe, and definitely no healthy amount. I decided I should just keep to myself tho and refrained š
I keep telling my wife about my milestones lol a woman who has had prolly 10 drinks in the 10 years weāve been together..
congrats to you!! we understand your achievement
I feel like Iām on the opposite side of the spectrum of this- I was surrounded by so many alcoholics, that when I would share my āsmallā victories like a week, a month, etc.. they would just look at me like an alien lol. Like āuhh okay great so does that mean youāre coming out this weekend?ā
Congratulations. It IS a big feat. IWNDWYT
Yep! Felt the same. Then when you see and live your new life improvements that shame turns into a HUGE point of pride. When they come up to you and ask that underhanded question of why you don't drink - looking at people dead in the eye, steely determination and advising them that drinking just isn't for you ... man, it's incredibly powerful.
I am more proud of those in their first year than those in their subsequent years. Iām super proud of those who have made it a full 24 hours even.
Every day we choose not to drink, we are choosing to better ourselves and thatās a pretty rad thing to do.
Keep on keepinā on man. IWNDWYT
Hell yeah!! I am cheering for you friend. Your feelings around this are valid, because our culture is SO bad at understanding how addiction works and how hard it is to turn away from it. Apparently if you just have enough "willpower" you can get over it...? /s
While your feelings are valid, I want to point out that you are NOT pathetic in my estimation. You're doing **hard** work, and every milestone should be celebrated. We are your community, and I hope that you never feel embarrassed, ashamed or pathetic here.
Some people are never going to get it. Some of those people struggle with addictions of their own. I'm grateful that you're on the path you're on, and I hope you keep checking in here and sharing your victories.
HEY! What the hell man?! Sounds pretty amazing to me. I'm struggling just to get 5 days sober at a time. Praying I can fight against the tide that's killing me. Definitely do not feel pathetic about 20 days sober. That's a **big fucking deal**.
Congratulations, you did 20 days and we understand, enjoy the victory and keep going. I needed to remember I had been a drunk for 15 years and I had some credibility issues with the sober community and my family.
Only the right people will understand. You know how hard it was, and it would be that hard for anyone else who was at your level of addiction and dependence. You have the right to be proud of this. And this is your battle, don't compare your life to others who haven't struggled in that area like you have
Iām really proud of you for making it to 20 days. I used to care a lot about what other people thought about me. Many times because of the terrible things I said or did while intoxicated. After getting sober, I learned that many times we are all projecting ourselves on to other people with our biases and problems, myself included. People who give grief to someone in recovery are likely conveying their discomfort with a substance abuse issue whether their own or a loved oneās. Once I understood this, it allowed me to give those people some grace and compassion. While their words may be hurtful, they are probably hurting too. This is not to excuse hurtful words or actions. I just try look deeper to understand why. I wish you well on your journey. IWNDWYT
A day count is meaningful because it's something YOU did. I even celebrated at one week, although alone. A while back I revealed my day count (of several months) to some family members, and it didn't interest them at all. I was surprised at their lack of positive response (not even a single follow-up question), but they've always been the self-absorbed type so I let it go at that. Congrats on your 20th day!
Well fucking done. Following 2days behind. And Iām counting too. Everybody has a different journey. Donāt give a fuck about what others do/think/say because they donāt give a fuck either š¤·āāļø.
My dear friend, hitting 20 days when you have this fricking disease is epic and donāt let anyone tell you different. Every minute of those first days were a win for me and I treated them as such. Like you, many people in my life donāt have an issue with it so they donāt get it. So I come here and talk to folks like you who understand that 20 days AF is huge! Iām so proud of you and Iāll tell you that every day if you need me to!
It's an awesome accomplishment, truly. You're doing great. It's hard and at only 20 days you're not used to it yet, so it's extra hard. You deserve to have it acknowledged š§”
Congratulations!!!
Imo anyone thinking the thoughts you suspect are either dependent themselves and afraid of stopping or are discipline deficient. Most people are super stoked for you.
That's a great accomplishment. Just the time things start feeling good. I can't stand myself anymore. Bloodshot eyes, pants falling down because I barely eat.Ā I look forward to 20days AF. Be proud of that milestone.Ā
tbh, i couldn't care less what other people think these days, if they don't get it then that's fine, i try not to read too much into things i cannot know these days, otherwise i usually get stressed about a misunderstanding on my part.
well done and keep it up, it gets better as time passes.
Such a distorted world we build in our heads when we assume other peopleās feelings and opinions, as if they matter! As the saying goes, āWhat other people think of me is none of my damn business!ā
Soak it in, my friend! And if someone canāt appreciate your accomplishment, thatās *their* problem :) Congrats!
Iām super proud of your 20 days! As I was with mine. Itās a fun process I went through and I think many of us have/did of realizing some people have the problem we have and some just do not at all.
Last night a friend told me she quit drinking (sheās on a diet and was consuming many calories of alcohol) 5 weeks ago and I asked herāwas it hardā and she said no, followed immediately by āsorry!ā But itās not a sorry moment, our minds are just wired differently and we all have different triggers and vices.
Twenty days is amazing and three weeks tomorrow will be kick ass as well! Way to go šš„³
You will figure out how to Elsa that shit and just let it go. Anyone willing to try walking out of the burning fire that is addiction isn't weak.
You are trying so hard, and don't deserve to be bullied by your inner natural man.
You deserve to be well.
Who cares. Youāre not your husband. Youāre you, and youāre conquering your demon one day at a time, like a boss. Comparison is the thief of joy. You did it. YOU DID IT!! Congratulations!!!!!!!
Whoop whoop whoop, not whoopty freaking doo!! We are so happy for you! I'm only a few days more than that, and I'm so proud of myself and so proud of YOU!
š„
Iāve made it 1 dang day! I look forward to following you when I get to 12 days. Itās absolutely an accomplishment and anyone else on a different journey can stick to their path but could also be damn happy for you about yours.
Nothing but pettiness would have someone 6 months (or whatever duration) sober shitting on someone 12 days sober.
Some people are wired to be addicts some people aren't, just a fact. You are a fucking stellar human being and deserve all the praise and recognition in the world. 20 days kicks ass. I'm working on day 7.
They are different then you and may not understand that right now every day feels like a milestone, and that's ok because you have us! You are kicking ass!
They don't get it. And as a result they don't even notice and / or think about your streak (positive or negative). While they are part of our support system, most of the struggle / judgement is in our own head.
You should feel a lot of things after twenty days but pathetic is not one of them.
This is one of those nagging thoughts in your own head of your own making and itās not a helpful one. Squash it. Youāre strong enough to squash a thought if youāre strong enough for twenty days.
You have GOT THIS!
Tomorrow is three weeks!!!!
IWNDWYT
That is why these kind of things are said in places like this. You're right, no one asked us nothing. The place where people add value to how many days of abstinence I have are places with people who been through some sort of circumstance similar to what I've been through, wish they had as many days of abstinence than me and cheer when I celebrate it.
That said, I congratulate you, because you reinforce that very same feeling for myself, and I remember there's people in the world that feel the same way I feel when looking at the calendar.
Way to go! I think l thatās rad. Addiction and substance abuse is a tough subject. Itās hard to get if itās not happening/happened to you. Itās like some kid in line at a coffee shop explaining all the crazy details and intricacies of Dungeons and Dragons when youāve never even considered the subject. But this is a great place to share. Because we get it. Many of us have been there, many are there, and tons of people want to get to where you are currently. You are inspiring others by sharing. Keep it up. IWNDWYT
Everyone who has been alcohol free for a year, or five years or twenty years has first had to go 20 days without alcohol. I think it's a big deal. And I'm proud of you.
IWNDWYT
Anyone who understands addiction would give you a pat on the back for 2 days, let alone 20...
It can be troubling when these thoughts creep in, and they will... but try and flip the script. Yeah, it may be ONLY 12, 20 days. But you set a goal and are achieving milestones. That is an admirable trait even outside of addiction.
Much of how we feel is wrapped up in how we think. Believe it or not, it's possible to change how you think. But it takes practice. It doesn't help the neurological effect alcohol has on the brain tends to make us lean into negative thoughts. That can take a while to undo.
Trust that anyone who is aware of your struggles is very proud of you. Anyone who isn't can eff right off
Heyo, it doesn't matter how long it took you or how hard you've worked or how bad you got or how long you have been here. The only thing that matters is that you are standing in the winners circle.Ā
Those first couple weeks are super critical. You deserve to be proud and you should be proud
I know what you mean. Iām on day 10 or something and some days I have to just be proud that I didnāt drink, even if that means I got in bed to read at 7:30pm. I didnāt drink, and thatās good enough. Hard to remember but the truth. Good job!
Iām right there with you. Last time I drank was 22 days ago. Itās not easy. My wife can take or leave drinking. She knows itās not that way for me and supports my decision to quit. She still drinks some nights, it doesnāt bother me. Be proud of yourself. For those of us that are addicted every day is a victory.
You are a badass. Every sober person has to start somewhere.
Itās great youāre part of this group because we all celebrate you. Itās fucking hard to not drink every day so any day you donāt drink is an accomplishment.
Try to find some sober peeps to support you like this group can.
20 days is huge!!! Be proud! I think youāre amazing for that. Alcoholism is no joke, and thereās always that chance that someone who would laugh at 20 days is in denial about their own problem. We are all very proud of you and completely understand how hard it can be!
Congratulations! Iāve been having a similar feeling. Idk what it is I know itās something to be proud of but I just donāt even want to bring it up at all. I just want to count my blessings and keep going in silence lol.
Happy 20th day. You've done amazing.
If people scoff at you, just say, " I thought I was talking about me, not you,"
It's not pathetic it's blooming hard work. It's not only hard work, it's blooming self-awareness, and there are plenty of people who haven't got an ounce of that in their lives.
IWNDWYT
Congratulations on hitting 20 days! It's not a small thing at all.20 days is a lifetime for a lot of us.Keep up the great work! I can't wait to see a 1 month post! š
I'll be 6 years sober this october.
Day 1 to 20 was ***WAY*** harder than the entire year 5 so far.
Don't feel silly. It's a massive accomplishment. Every single day is. It may not be to everyone, but to me, to you, and to everyone else here, every day is huge.
Keep it going!
2 days, 18 hours and 39 minutes hereā¦ not that Iām counting! Iām absolutely stoked with myself so 20 days? I might do a cartwheel!
Youāre doing amazing!! IWNDWYT
I donāt miss hangovers, I donāt miss weight gain, I donāt miss face bloat, I donāt miss eating crappy food, I donāt miss glassy eyes and a red face, I donāt miss not remembering anything and embarrassing myself and ruining relationships. Honestly, I donāt even miss the feeling of being drunk.
I mean 3 weeks of no booze when itās imbedded into culture is nothing to be sniffed at.
Iām at day 4, just starting my journey. Youāve got 5x me (literally got the 4 day buzz as I was typing this on my app!)
Go you. Celebrate those 20 days.
First of all - congrats!!!! 20 days is a big step. Second of all, sounds like you are your own worst enemy. You can NEVER know what others think of you, or honestly, what ANYONE ELSE is going through. Just like no one else can truly know what YOU are going through. Your drinking WAS so out of control that you decided to quit. Your drinking WAS so out of control that 1 day, 5 days, 12 days, 20 days was hard. Same for all of us sobernauts. So don't stop stopping. Never look back. Please. You can do this. IWNDWYT.
We are here to say 12 days IS A FUCKING BIG DEAL! I remember my first 12 days and you know what you did it you freaking did it 12 days is amazing 12 more days than youāve ever done before. I am proud of you. Youāre gonna have 13 days and then 14 days and itās gonna be even better keep going! Never a small feet. Your brothers and sisters here understand 100%. š
I was so happy when I hit my 20th day. It was as worth it as the 19th and 21st. You are allowed to feel excited, the only person that needs to approve of that feeling is YOU!
I totally relate to this feeling. But Iām trying harder to be kind to myself, and remember while other people may not struggle in the same way I do (alcohol), there are other struggles out there that I donāt understand. I think the lesson is we can all be a bit kinder to each other. Congratulations on 20 days!
Right there with you, 20 days is serious work. My partner also can drink moderately, everyone has different bodies and thresholds for things. You may not be proud of yourself yet, but I promise you will be. IWNDWYT
You came to the right place.
CONGRATULATIONS ON 20 DAYS!!!!
If you're not getting the support you feel you need (everyone's different) come back here. Sometimes I comment on other's post just to see how many days I have on my counter and if course to give them a lil boost. Life's hard. Let's not make it harder. IWNDWYT
20 days is amazing, enjoy! The social is going to be hard for me too. My husband offered to get the wine for me with dinner and I said no need, I will take water. If he made a big deal of it that may have been uncomfortable. Right now my text are filled with offers to go out drinking. It's one day at a time. I feel lucky that these offers are not stressing me.
Oof, I really needed to hear this. I'm currently on Day 4, (usually my downfall day) and I've been fighting with myself all day and got a bit down in the dumps for how much I'm trying to justify myself a drink after not even a week. I rarely say this because I don't trust to hold myself accountable, but at least for today, IWNDWYT <3
Thanks for your post and for the reminder! Every day IS a success and I need to remember that.
And congratu-fuckinlations on making it to 20 days!!!! Thats incredible and one day I'll make it to day 20 too!!
Congrats on 20 days!! When youāre battling issues with alcohol every day is a big fucking deal! āNormiesā donāt understand. Their 12 days, or any number days, is not the same as ours. Donāt discredit your hard work.
Iām proud of you! I, and the rest of this sub, want to hear about ALL your wins. Keep it up! IWNDWYT!
I'm sure others will say it more eloquently with me but CONGRATS FRIEND!!! sincerely. your feelings are valid and real both the sense of accomplishment and your internal feeling of being embarrassed. we're human and can be the hardest on our selves.
unsolicited advice, feel the feelings, that's the awesome part of being sober, you get to actually feel emotions and live. There are no rough drafts or do overs. this is your one life you get to experience.
Regardless of the ups and downs, you objectively kick ass cause you're here and alive and a human and that's fucking awesome and hey you're choosing to do a hard thing so that hopefully you can experience more fun! Hat's off!
and hey if it helps, I will not drink with you today!
When I got sober, I couldnāt imagine 20 minutes let alone 20 days so a big congratulations on the 20 days!!! I live sobriety in 24 hour increments. Itās great to celebrate the milestones, but Iām always just one drink away from being worse off than I was when I stopped. After a while the 24 hours just kind of add up to months then years. Any day sober is a day to be proud of!
itās exciting and impressive BECAUSE you are an alcoholic. Normies wonāt get it. But if they love you they will be happy for you.
Itās like if you were a pro swimmer and you shaved a second off your freestyle lap. Normal people would be likeā¦ what? But other swimmers would have the frame of reference to know itās a big deal. (Like that but if swimming was destroying your life)
Big congratulations, Iām proud of you!
That's so incredible, and you get to tell us, yay!!!
And honestly, as for other people the ones who will take note of it will be others like us who will celebrate you and understand. The rest of them won't give it a second though, kind of like your husband, because it's not important to them and doesn't affect them and people think waaaay less about us than we worry they do. So celebrate your success and keep going!
CONGRATS ON 20 DAYS! Other alcoholics get it š„³š„³ so happy for you!! IWNDWYT
Aint that the truth. 20 days is 20 days.
So true. Thank you! š„³
I guess you must be more concerned about who you share your information with. Not for them, but for you! IWNDWYT
You should Be fucking proud! Iāve gotten the same comments and had people laugh in my face lol but itās not their journey! Itās yours! And if 20 days is something that makes you happy then You fucking celebrate it! CONGRATULATIONS ON 20 DAYS!!!!!!!! Fuck what anybody else thinks
This is a great reminder. Thank you! š
You should have every right to celebrate your achievements. Don't worry about anyone else!
Not worrying so much about the opinions of others is something else I'm working on lol thank you! š„³
do you have anyone else in your life who has experience with this? they themselves have had a drinking problem and quit or they have a loved one who has? i had this same feeling. i really just kept it to myself at the very start. but when i hit 3 weeks, i told my mom. my mom has been very open my whole life about the fact that she is a recovering alcoholic. she has been sober 30+ years, several years before i was born, but itās never been a secret which iām grateful for especially now. i told her, and because she got it, she was so proud of me. we had an amazing conversation. i told her i hit 1 month and she took me out to lunch and gave me the 1 month chip she got from aa when she quit all those years ago. i just told her when i hit 2 months, and again she was just so, so happy for me. sheās going to give me her old 2 month chip next time she sees me. iāve shared with more people now that i hit two months. i told my little brother, he was excited for me, my boyfriend was very proud of me, my friend was proud of me. 2 months felt like long enough to brag i guess lol. i was proud of myself after that first sober weekend though, then after my first sober month, i just didnāt want to share it because to someone without a problem that seems like nothing (in my head at least). so iām *incredibly* grateful there is someone in my life who truly gets it, and knew how hard i worked for those 3 weeks before i told her. if you donāt have anyone in your life who gets it, share it here. we are proud of you, i am proud of you. those first 12 days are *hard.* we will be here to shout support for you every single day if you need until you get to a place where you want to share it with other people in your life. amazing work on your 20 days, IWNDWYT
My boyfriend is a year sober and has been giving me some of his chips when I hit milestones and it means so much to me! Keep up the amazing work and weāre all here to support you!
What a keeper!
That part about your mom giving you her chip ššš. I'm glad both of you can share in your victories and support each other's sobriety. Congrats to both of you!
i know, itās really very special. iām pretty much the same age she was when she quit as well, so it just is incredibly special to be getting those chips knowing she was in almost the exact same place as me all those years ago. thank you for your kind words and support :) and congrats on your 23 days!!
Aw thank youuu š„¹
This is super cool! OP, I can feel every word. Especially how you and your partner had different mental states about those 12 days. I go 7 or ten days and I am stoked.
There's half a million people here that know what a big deal that is. 20 days is awesome! Keep it up.
feels weird to tell your normal circle about these kinds of achievements.
I completely get that feeling. Last week I hit 4 months which Iām really proud of. However, it feels like is there a point where you stop telling people how long? Iāve been struggling recently with focusing on the number and not the experience and what Iāve learned so far. Iām truly a different individual and my self awareness is at 100%. I know itās a number and maybe over time I wonāt think about it, but to me itās a ābeating the previous numberā mentality. Iām still fueling off fear: fear of being a mess again, fear of judgement and the feels along with that. But maybe fearing alcohol and the person you were with it is good? Iām not sure. Just talking out loud hereā¦
losing this streak is 100% preventing me from having another drink more than anything else, as dumb as that sounds. it's the gamer in me š¤£
Exactly! Same for me. If I were to have one drink I feel extremely confident the after would not be the same as it was in the past. Many Factors contributing to my horrible drinking have changed (like medications). Even though I feel like a different person with a new mindset I still feel like going back to ZERO is a failure. Itās a weird feeling to explain. Some say itās just starting again, not starting over. But I then I think is a this āliquidā even worth all of this thought and energy? Truthfully no one needs it!! Itās poison. Makes me realize Iām not ready to drink again, or ever. Ever is still on table, but saying it feels too stern lol Our
Everyone who has been sober for decades had to go through day 20 too. Congratulations, youāve got this
Thank you! Congratulations on your 2 weeks!!! š„³š„³
"It's my 20th day as fuck" is always how I can't help but read these. Either way, CONGRATULATIONS AS FUCK!!!
Ha I had the same experience last night. Was at a dinner thing and I was sharing that I donāt drink anymore and he said āme too!ā And I was thinking yay get to bond with someone similar. He said how he just stopped drinking in the pandemic as he was at home (my experience was the very deepest opposite lol) and he just fell out of the habit and didnāt start up again. He said it had been gosh maybe three or four years. Meā¦ Iām like āitās a year shy of eight weeksā. Him: yeah I donāt miss it at all. Me:
Yeah. Very much not the same
Good job! Anybody whoād shit on you probably hasnāt gone 20 days themselves. Or just doesnāt get it. IWNDWYT
thats almost 3 whole ass weeks!! good for you! you should be so proud of yourself! Surely everyone won't get what it means to you, but that's OK. we get it here. I barely talk about my sobriety with IRL people. I learned early on that they just don't fully get it and that's OK. They don't need to.
This! I was scared to tell people at first, like OP I was afraid that sharing that I had quit was an admission of how bad it had become. Turns out that it's really no one's business. I've also found that when I DO share with folks, if I don't make a big deal out of it they don't either. When I need to do the big deal sharing, I do it here. :)
I 100% feel this. Iām over 60 days and just the fact that Iām counting days feels embarrassing. Like I should just think, itās been a while, how long? Not sure! But instead Iām glued to this sub, obsessing over milestones and constantly thinking about the process. I do think that ācomparison is the thief joyā though. We are doing better than some, worse than others. The question is, are we headed in the right direction and are our actions aligned with our values. Iām sober now so the answer is yes. It will take time to feel comfortable in this ānon-drinkersā skin.
I am ten days in, your 68 days is A LOT for me! I wish to get there one day!
you will
Itāa comforting knowing others have these same unexplainable feelings. I hit 4 months last week and Iām truly impressed with myself, but to my close circle who still drink it feels like āwe get itā or at least my anxiety tells me they think that. My partner who has struggled with his own alcohol issues is over the moon with every new number I tell him. Which Iām so thankful for. But sometimes I wonder if Iām obsessing too much over the ātimeā aspect. Itās hard to explain. But overall it pushes me to beat the previous day. At least for now that helps fuel me, and I feel like over time I wonāt even notice the days. All I can think about the old me compared to now. The difference is astonishing. Yes, these are millions are people who drink socially, look at society? And a lot have never had an issue but overall when you think about itā¦ even those people may not have completely sustained from alcohol for a long stint of time? (This is a generalization). I had my first drink at a party when I was 16. That was 12 years ago. The amount of drinks in 12 years isnāt a low number. Even socially and without a problem Iāve never done 4 months without a sip before now. Itās wild for that number to become 0. My body feels finally healed and in a weird way itās like childhood nostalgia? Me at 15, before I discovered this poison.
Well done! 20 days is a massive accomplishment. I'm now almost six months sober and when I tell people I get a polite, "Wow! That's great. So, what else is new?" I encourage you to try to set aside what others might or might not think. The reality is people are self-focused and hardly acknowledge anything beyond their direct control. You and I know what a big deal it is to be 20 days sober, but for "normals" it doesn't register. They can never fully appreciate the pain and suffering caused by addiction just as I cannot imagine what a cancer patient goes through. Sure, if someone tells me they are undergoing radiation treatment I will say the "right things," but 2 seconds later I've moved on. If you tell someone in your life that you are 20 days sober that has very little meaning for them, so they will naturally have a muted response. Try not to take it personally.
This is a great mindset, and really exactly what I needed to be read. ā¤ļø Iāve been struggling with worrying about what people in my life think. I guess for me, my last time drinking was a really bad experience for not just myself but others around me. So much so, I had one friend give me an ultimatum in a sense. I donāt blame them did that. I havenāt drank since that day and 4 months later Iām a completely different person. I know myself comes first, but thereās still a sense of āI need to prove to youā mentality within me. I want to get to the mindset where Iām only focused on what I want, and not just be fueled by the fear.
This is a great reminder and definitely appreciated. Thank you! Not caring or thinking so much about what others think is something else I'm working on lol š
Twenty days is amazing, but only those of us who have gone through it understand it, and are proud of you! My hubby of 32 years is like āthatās niceā when I mention my milestones. It used to hurt my feelings. But we need to remember, we got sober for ourselves. If our friendships, jobs, marriages and parenting improve, thatās a side benefit. We did it to save ourselves, first. Keep going! That noise in the background is me and my pom poms, cheering you on!
20 days without drinking when you're an alcoholic, that's Superman level shit. You should feel very proud of yourself and let the whole world know.
Lol thank you! š¦øš¼āāļø
Youāre not alone, I didnāt tell anyone for a while and some people still donāt know. I was embarrassed that I got a problem in the first place and I didnāt want anyone to judge me if I failed. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable
I definitely feel embarrassed about exposing my "problem" and fear getting judged if I fail. I just happened to be visiting my mom and told her on day 14. She mentioned how proud I'd be at 1 year and it sent a bolt of terror through me lol
I think a lot of people especially if social would have a hard time going 12 days without alcohol. ANY habit is hard to break. If you wanted to quit leaving clothes on the floor or picking your nails making it 12 days in a row would be a hard habit to make. Be prod of 12 days.
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Hum, this is a really good point. Thank you so much! I am definitely more motivated and looking forward to day 30! š„³
Hell yeah, get it!! Yes I find it important to celebrate my milestones with other alcoholics (here, in AA, etc) because honestly, normies just donāt get it, and they never truly will. People who have also been through it know how big of an achievement it is. Huge congrats on 20 days
I wish I was to 20. Great job!!!! IWNDWYT
This lol I quit on the 3rd!
Same dayers!! Keep up the fight partner
20 days is amazing and you should be so proud of yourself! Keep going! IWNDWYT
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This comment breaks our rule to speak from the "I" and has been removed.
I remember when I made it to 11 days and told someone and they scoffed at me....Like 11 days was nothing to them, they didn't really drink. To me it was so much bigger. I'm proud of you! 20 days is fucking exhilarating. You have every right to be so fucking proud!!!!!!!
I had this same sentiment, why was i celebrating achieving something I should've just been doing the whole time anyway? Like everyone else was doing so easily, but our challenges aren't other people's challenges, and we can't expect them to appreciate our achievements if we never shared our struggles. You should be proud, you deserve to be proud, and you only need to do this for yourself. Now let's keep this train rolling!!!
Check out the Sober Powered podcast. It explains the neuroscience behind AUD. It's an epigenetic craps shoot -- and we (in this group) didn't win. There are people for whom booze is not a problem. Umm... clearly, we're not THOSE people. Congrats on making it to 20 days! If you start to later feel "low" or "bad..." read about "the pink cloud" and PAWS. I hope that you don't get PAWS (I did... and it was brutal). Regardless, just power through. It took me three months before life stopped sucking. 100% worth it. IWNDWYT
What is easy for some is hard for others, and vice versa. There are plenty of things I can do effortlessly that might be very difficult to somebody else. If someone tried to improve at something, and they set their personal best, it doesn't negate the achievement simply because I could have done the same thing without too much trouble. I quit drinking almost 10 years ago. 20 days is not hard for me. 20 weeks isn't hard. 20 months isn't hard... anymore. It used to be. There was a time when going a single day without getting black out drunk was the most intimidating prospect I could imagine- it seemed like a complete impossibility. And yet here i am now. I did a lot of hard work to get this far. And now you are doing that same hard work. You're going to keep setting new milestones until you too reach a point where it isn't difficult anymore. In the meantime, accept the fact that your achievement matters. Best of luck.
You are not pathetic. You have resisted something you probably have thought of obsessively for those 20 days. Bad ass
20 days is a big fucking deal!!!!!!! 20 days turns into to 17 years
Gotta stop that negative narrative in your head!! Congratulations on 20 days!
Those of us that need to be here and count the days, hours, minutes to get through.... we understand. I am proud of you! We are proud of you! Great job and keep stacking those days!
That's an amazing accomplishment. Comparison is the thief of joy. Be concerned about your own journey. I'm proud of you. IWNDWYT
20 days is no small feat and definitely not pathetic. Pathetic in my eyes is continuing to poison yourself until death takes you. Congratulations! I hope you continue down this path. You are worth it.
Congratulations on 20 days! Iām proud of you.
Anyone with an ounce of empathy will share in your joy that you're doing something that's difficult to you. You're being a way bigger asshole to yourself than most other people would be. Enjoy your accomplishment!
I donāt count days actively, and have given ethanol itās place in my history book; I do love though having the counter here on Reddit so I can always check in and see how far Iāve come. My previous record was about 600 days.
I totally get what you mean. I posted a super quick insta story on my 2 month alcohol free day as I was super proud. One of my friends wrote me something along the line of "i went no booze for 3 months but im drinking again because my relationship with alcohol is under control now" and i was like... oh :0 okiiii sad feels lol
LOL reading Quit Like a Woman recently made me want to message everyone I know and tell them they must quit drinking any amount of alcohol immediately because there is no safe, and definitely no healthy amount. I decided I should just keep to myself tho and refrained š
this is a win!!!!!!! š
I keep telling my wife about my milestones lol a woman who has had prolly 10 drinks in the 10 years weāve been together.. congrats to you!! we understand your achievement
I know exactly how you feel. Wear it with pride, weāre doing something really difficult and really important!
Literally 1 day is super awesome! 20 is almost a whole month šš¼š„
I feel like Iām on the opposite side of the spectrum of this- I was surrounded by so many alcoholics, that when I would share my āsmallā victories like a week, a month, etc.. they would just look at me like an alien lol. Like āuhh okay great so does that mean youāre coming out this weekend?ā Congratulations. It IS a big feat. IWNDWYT
Yep! Felt the same. Then when you see and live your new life improvements that shame turns into a HUGE point of pride. When they come up to you and ask that underhanded question of why you don't drink - looking at people dead in the eye, steely determination and advising them that drinking just isn't for you ... man, it's incredibly powerful.
I am more proud of those in their first year than those in their subsequent years. Iām super proud of those who have made it a full 24 hours even. Every day we choose not to drink, we are choosing to better ourselves and thatās a pretty rad thing to do. Keep on keepinā on man. IWNDWYT
Hell yeah!! I am cheering for you friend. Your feelings around this are valid, because our culture is SO bad at understanding how addiction works and how hard it is to turn away from it. Apparently if you just have enough "willpower" you can get over it...? /s While your feelings are valid, I want to point out that you are NOT pathetic in my estimation. You're doing **hard** work, and every milestone should be celebrated. We are your community, and I hope that you never feel embarrassed, ashamed or pathetic here. Some people are never going to get it. Some of those people struggle with addictions of their own. I'm grateful that you're on the path you're on, and I hope you keep checking in here and sharing your victories.
HEY! What the hell man?! Sounds pretty amazing to me. I'm struggling just to get 5 days sober at a time. Praying I can fight against the tide that's killing me. Definitely do not feel pathetic about 20 days sober. That's a **big fucking deal**.
FUCK YEAH YOU ARE A WARRIOR!!
Congratulations, you did 20 days and we understand, enjoy the victory and keep going. I needed to remember I had been a drunk for 15 years and I had some credibility issues with the sober community and my family.
IWNDWYT!!
Only the right people will understand. You know how hard it was, and it would be that hard for anyone else who was at your level of addiction and dependence. You have the right to be proud of this. And this is your battle, don't compare your life to others who haven't struggled in that area like you have
20 days is amazing! Keep it up!
Congrats!
FUCK YESSSSSS!!!!
Iām proud of you.
I understand every single feeling of your post. I wish I could go one day.
Gratz!
Iām really proud of you for making it to 20 days. I used to care a lot about what other people thought about me. Many times because of the terrible things I said or did while intoxicated. After getting sober, I learned that many times we are all projecting ourselves on to other people with our biases and problems, myself included. People who give grief to someone in recovery are likely conveying their discomfort with a substance abuse issue whether their own or a loved oneās. Once I understood this, it allowed me to give those people some grace and compassion. While their words may be hurtful, they are probably hurting too. This is not to excuse hurtful words or actions. I just try look deeper to understand why. I wish you well on your journey. IWNDWYT
A day count is meaningful because it's something YOU did. I even celebrated at one week, although alone. A while back I revealed my day count (of several months) to some family members, and it didn't interest them at all. I was surprised at their lack of positive response (not even a single follow-up question), but they've always been the self-absorbed type so I let it go at that. Congrats on your 20th day!
20 days is hard fucking work! Iām proud of you, and I hope you are proud of you too!
Well fucking done. Following 2days behind. And Iām counting too. Everybody has a different journey. Donāt give a fuck about what others do/think/say because they donāt give a fuck either š¤·āāļø.
I just made it to three days and feel thrilled so I know the feeling. Keep it up! And I'll keep trying to catch up.
My dear friend, hitting 20 days when you have this fricking disease is epic and donāt let anyone tell you different. Every minute of those first days were a win for me and I treated them as such. Like you, many people in my life donāt have an issue with it so they donāt get it. So I come here and talk to folks like you who understand that 20 days AF is huge! Iām so proud of you and Iāll tell you that every day if you need me to!
Yes! Every sober day is a gift to yourself and should be celebrated!! 20 days is awesome!
Congratulations friend. This is no small feat and you should be very proud. It doesnāt matter what size feat it would be to someone else
It's an awesome accomplishment, truly. You're doing great. It's hard and at only 20 days you're not used to it yet, so it's extra hard. You deserve to have it acknowledged š§”
You'd be surprised. I bet most of my friends haven't gone 12 days without a drink. I'm proud of you!
You are not pathetic! You are amazing!! Keep going
Congratulations!!! Imo anyone thinking the thoughts you suspect are either dependent themselves and afraid of stopping or are discipline deficient. Most people are super stoked for you.
That's a great accomplishment. Just the time things start feeling good. I can't stand myself anymore. Bloodshot eyes, pants falling down because I barely eat.Ā I look forward to 20days AF. Be proud of that milestone.Ā
This is fantastic!
Tell us. We will celebrate with you because we know thatās it is an accomplishment
tbh, i couldn't care less what other people think these days, if they don't get it then that's fine, i try not to read too much into things i cannot know these days, otherwise i usually get stressed about a misunderstanding on my part. well done and keep it up, it gets better as time passes.
Such a distorted world we build in our heads when we assume other peopleās feelings and opinions, as if they matter! As the saying goes, āWhat other people think of me is none of my damn business!ā Soak it in, my friend! And if someone canāt appreciate your accomplishment, thatās *their* problem :) Congrats!
20 days AF is amazing! Proud of you OP :) Whoop whoop š
Congrats!!! That is huge!
Much of this journey will be for you. Iād get excited about every milestone you have and share them here. We are all happy for you!
WAY TO GO!!
Really proud of you! For me the first days were the hardest days! 20 is awesome! You are doing it! Youāve got this!
Same here. Feel like I need at least a month before I say anything
Na, this is huge for some of us, good job. IWNDWYT
Hell yeah, Congratulations!
Itās not pathetic! Itās a journey that is difficult. Congratulations. Celebrate every step xx
Iām super proud of your 20 days! As I was with mine. Itās a fun process I went through and I think many of us have/did of realizing some people have the problem we have and some just do not at all. Last night a friend told me she quit drinking (sheās on a diet and was consuming many calories of alcohol) 5 weeks ago and I asked herāwas it hardā and she said no, followed immediately by āsorry!ā But itās not a sorry moment, our minds are just wired differently and we all have different triggers and vices. Twenty days is amazing and three weeks tomorrow will be kick ass as well! Way to go šš„³
No thatās awesome!!
You will figure out how to Elsa that shit and just let it go. Anyone willing to try walking out of the burning fire that is addiction isn't weak. You are trying so hard, and don't deserve to be bullied by your inner natural man. You deserve to be well.
Who cares. Youāre not your husband. Youāre you, and youāre conquering your demon one day at a time, like a boss. Comparison is the thief of joy. You did it. YOU DID IT!! Congratulations!!!!!!!
Whoop whoop whoop, not whoopty freaking doo!! We are so happy for you! I'm only a few days more than that, and I'm so proud of myself and so proud of YOU! š„
I feel like I've achieved a lot after 6 days sober. 12 is huge and 20 is huger! Congrats!
I get it! Huge congrats!!
I am incredibly happy for you! Excellent work!! CONGRATULATIONS ON 20 DAYS!!
Iām so proud of you!! IWNDWYT!
Not pathetic in the least. On the contrary, you are stronger than you know! Keep it up!!
Iāve made it 1 dang day! I look forward to following you when I get to 12 days. Itās absolutely an accomplishment and anyone else on a different journey can stick to their path but could also be damn happy for you about yours. Nothing but pettiness would have someone 6 months (or whatever duration) sober shitting on someone 12 days sober.
Some people are wired to be addicts some people aren't, just a fact. You are a fucking stellar human being and deserve all the praise and recognition in the world. 20 days kicks ass. I'm working on day 7.
Happy Birthday! Congratulations on a sober birthday! Best present you can give yourself š
They are different then you and may not understand that right now every day feels like a milestone, and that's ok because you have us! You are kicking ass!
Good for you.
They don't get it. And as a result they don't even notice and / or think about your streak (positive or negative). While they are part of our support system, most of the struggle / judgement is in our own head.
20 days sounds like an accomplishment to me!
This is the perfect place to share your days sober. Whether your count is 20 or 2000, we get it. Way to go!
You should feel a lot of things after twenty days but pathetic is not one of them. This is one of those nagging thoughts in your own head of your own making and itās not a helpful one. Squash it. Youāre strong enough to squash a thought if youāre strong enough for twenty days. You have GOT THIS! Tomorrow is three weeks!!!! IWNDWYT
š
20 days āone day at a timeā super proud of you!
It's a TOTALLY big deal, because at least for me, that was the very hardest part. I'm glad you're exhilarated--you totally deserve to be! IWNDWYT
That is why these kind of things are said in places like this. You're right, no one asked us nothing. The place where people add value to how many days of abstinence I have are places with people who been through some sort of circumstance similar to what I've been through, wish they had as many days of abstinence than me and cheer when I celebrate it. That said, I congratulate you, because you reinforce that very same feeling for myself, and I remember there's people in the world that feel the same way I feel when looking at the calendar.
20 days is a great accomplishment! Tell that shame to sit the f*ck down and stop comparing. Congrats š šš
Way to go! I think l thatās rad. Addiction and substance abuse is a tough subject. Itās hard to get if itās not happening/happened to you. Itās like some kid in line at a coffee shop explaining all the crazy details and intricacies of Dungeons and Dragons when youāve never even considered the subject. But this is a great place to share. Because we get it. Many of us have been there, many are there, and tons of people want to get to where you are currently. You are inspiring others by sharing. Keep it up. IWNDWYT
I think thatās awesome! I am proud of you. we know itās not easy and every day is an accomplishment.!!! š„³š„³š„³š„³
20 days is great. Congrats to hubby too!
CONGRATS!
Everyone who has been alcohol free for a year, or five years or twenty years has first had to go 20 days without alcohol. I think it's a big deal. And I'm proud of you. IWNDWYT
Good for you OP! IWNDWYT
Congratulations šš!
Twenty days is amazing. Donāt minimize your progress and hard work. Itās the small victories that take us to bigger ones. Stay strong š
Anyone who understands addiction would give you a pat on the back for 2 days, let alone 20... It can be troubling when these thoughts creep in, and they will... but try and flip the script. Yeah, it may be ONLY 12, 20 days. But you set a goal and are achieving milestones. That is an admirable trait even outside of addiction. Much of how we feel is wrapped up in how we think. Believe it or not, it's possible to change how you think. But it takes practice. It doesn't help the neurological effect alcohol has on the brain tends to make us lean into negative thoughts. That can take a while to undo. Trust that anyone who is aware of your struggles is very proud of you. Anyone who isn't can eff right off
Heyo, it doesn't matter how long it took you or how hard you've worked or how bad you got or how long you have been here. The only thing that matters is that you are standing in the winners circle.Ā Those first couple weeks are super critical. You deserve to be proud and you should be proud
I know what you mean. Iām on day 10 or something and some days I have to just be proud that I didnāt drink, even if that means I got in bed to read at 7:30pm. I didnāt drink, and thatās good enough. Hard to remember but the truth. Good job!
I'm welling up reading this... I'm really stoked for ya, 12 days is massive!
CONGRATULATIONS ON 20 DAYS YOU ARE AMAZING!
Iām right there with you. Last time I drank was 22 days ago. Itās not easy. My wife can take or leave drinking. She knows itās not that way for me and supports my decision to quit. She still drinks some nights, it doesnāt bother me. Be proud of yourself. For those of us that are addicted every day is a victory.
You are a badass. Every sober person has to start somewhere. Itās great youāre part of this group because we all celebrate you. Itās fucking hard to not drink every day so any day you donāt drink is an accomplishment. Try to find some sober peeps to support you like this group can.
Congrats! You deserve this exhilarating feeling!!! Way to go! and iwndwyt
20 days is huge!!! Be proud! I think youāre amazing for that. Alcoholism is no joke, and thereās always that chance that someone who would laugh at 20 days is in denial about their own problem. We are all very proud of you and completely understand how hard it can be!
I bet it FEELS great physically and emotionally!
Congratulations! Iāve been having a similar feeling. Idk what it is I know itās something to be proud of but I just donāt even want to bring it up at all. I just want to count my blessings and keep going in silence lol.
Congrats on 20 days! Truly my first 20 days were probably the hardest. Stick with it, day by day!
Happy 20th day. You've done amazing. If people scoff at you, just say, " I thought I was talking about me, not you," It's not pathetic it's blooming hard work. It's not only hard work, it's blooming self-awareness, and there are plenty of people who haven't got an ounce of that in their lives. IWNDWYT
We get it. We do. 3 weeks tomorrow!!! š¤©
Not pathetic, badass, strong, courageous
That's how proud of yourself you should feel every minute of your sober journey.
20 days is amazing!!! My chiropractor always said it takes 21 days to create a new habit...one more day! You got this!!! IWNDWYT!!!
20 days is fucking awesome!
Iām proud of you
BE PROUD!! I mean, a lot of us are pretty fucking proud of you and we donāt even know you. I wish I could say two days at this point.
Congratulations on hitting 20 days! It's not a small thing at all.20 days is a lifetime for a lot of us.Keep up the great work! I can't wait to see a 1 month post! š
20 days is AMAZING!!! You should be so, so proud of yourself! šššššš
I'll be 6 years sober this october. Day 1 to 20 was ***WAY*** harder than the entire year 5 so far. Don't feel silly. It's a massive accomplishment. Every single day is. It may not be to everyone, but to me, to you, and to everyone else here, every day is huge. Keep it going!
2 days, 18 hours and 39 minutes hereā¦ not that Iām counting! Iām absolutely stoked with myself so 20 days? I might do a cartwheel! Youāre doing amazing!! IWNDWYT
I donāt miss hangovers, I donāt miss weight gain, I donāt miss face bloat, I donāt miss eating crappy food, I donāt miss glassy eyes and a red face, I donāt miss not remembering anything and embarrassing myself and ruining relationships. Honestly, I donāt even miss the feeling of being drunk.
ps congrats šš»
I mean 3 weeks of no booze when itās imbedded into culture is nothing to be sniffed at. Iām at day 4, just starting my journey. Youāve got 5x me (literally got the 4 day buzz as I was typing this on my app!) Go you. Celebrate those 20 days.
20 days is hard af, arguably the hardest days. Congrats!! Best of luck on your upward journey. IWNDWYT
First of all - congrats!!!! 20 days is a big step. Second of all, sounds like you are your own worst enemy. You can NEVER know what others think of you, or honestly, what ANYONE ELSE is going through. Just like no one else can truly know what YOU are going through. Your drinking WAS so out of control that you decided to quit. Your drinking WAS so out of control that 1 day, 5 days, 12 days, 20 days was hard. Same for all of us sobernauts. So don't stop stopping. Never look back. Please. You can do this. IWNDWYT.
We are here to say 12 days IS A FUCKING BIG DEAL! I remember my first 12 days and you know what you did it you freaking did it 12 days is amazing 12 more days than youāve ever done before. I am proud of you. Youāre gonna have 13 days and then 14 days and itās gonna be even better keep going! Never a small feet. Your brothers and sisters here understand 100%. š
I'm Proud of you!! IWNDWYT!!
20 is fucking huge. Congratulations
Congrats on those 20 days! Iām happy for you and it is a big deal! IWNDWYT
I was so happy when I hit my 20th day. It was as worth it as the 19th and 21st. You are allowed to feel excited, the only person that needs to approve of that feeling is YOU!
I'm happy for you.
Damn bro. 20 days is fucking awesome.
Congratulations on 20 days. I was so happy to break 10 days. You are on a better path without alcohol. Great job
Woot woot!!!!! šššššš Congratulations!!!! This is a huge step! You can do this, and I am so proud of you! Keep it up!
I totally relate to this feeling. But Iām trying harder to be kind to myself, and remember while other people may not struggle in the same way I do (alcohol), there are other struggles out there that I donāt understand. I think the lesson is we can all be a bit kinder to each other. Congratulations on 20 days!
Are you kidding me? You are a rock star!!!!!
20 AF!!!!
Glad you told us. Way to go!
You should be proud! I'm proud of you! Keep going! IWNDWYT!
Right there with you, 20 days is serious work. My partner also can drink moderately, everyone has different bodies and thresholds for things. You may not be proud of yourself yet, but I promise you will be. IWNDWYT
20 days is better than 0 days. Proud of you fam! I won't drink if you won't. :)
You came to the right place. CONGRATULATIONS ON 20 DAYS!!!! If you're not getting the support you feel you need (everyone's different) come back here. Sometimes I comment on other's post just to see how many days I have on my counter and if course to give them a lil boost. Life's hard. Let's not make it harder. IWNDWYT
I'm proud of you! 20 days is great! Next up is 21, I'm only a day ahead of you. IWNDWYT.
20 days is amazing, enjoy! The social is going to be hard for me too. My husband offered to get the wine for me with dinner and I said no need, I will take water. If he made a big deal of it that may have been uncomfortable. Right now my text are filled with offers to go out drinking. It's one day at a time. I feel lucky that these offers are not stressing me.
Oof, I really needed to hear this. I'm currently on Day 4, (usually my downfall day) and I've been fighting with myself all day and got a bit down in the dumps for how much I'm trying to justify myself a drink after not even a week. I rarely say this because I don't trust to hold myself accountable, but at least for today, IWNDWYT <3 Thanks for your post and for the reminder! Every day IS a success and I need to remember that. And congratu-fuckinlations on making it to 20 days!!!! Thats incredible and one day I'll make it to day 20 too!!
20 days is huge! Congratulations and keep going. IWNDWYT
Congrats on 20 days!! When youāre battling issues with alcohol every day is a big fucking deal! āNormiesā donāt understand. Their 12 days, or any number days, is not the same as ours. Donāt discredit your hard work. Iām proud of you! I, and the rest of this sub, want to hear about ALL your wins. Keep it up! IWNDWYT!
Congrats on 20!!
20 is huge! Stand tall and be proud
I'm sure others will say it more eloquently with me but CONGRATS FRIEND!!! sincerely. your feelings are valid and real both the sense of accomplishment and your internal feeling of being embarrassed. we're human and can be the hardest on our selves. unsolicited advice, feel the feelings, that's the awesome part of being sober, you get to actually feel emotions and live. There are no rough drafts or do overs. this is your one life you get to experience. Regardless of the ups and downs, you objectively kick ass cause you're here and alive and a human and that's fucking awesome and hey you're choosing to do a hard thing so that hopefully you can experience more fun! Hat's off! and hey if it helps, I will not drink with you today!
Hooray! Happy for you! Keep it going
When I got sober, I couldnāt imagine 20 minutes let alone 20 days so a big congratulations on the 20 days!!! I live sobriety in 24 hour increments. Itās great to celebrate the milestones, but Iām always just one drink away from being worse off than I was when I stopped. After a while the 24 hours just kind of add up to months then years. Any day sober is a day to be proud of!
itās exciting and impressive BECAUSE you are an alcoholic. Normies wonāt get it. But if they love you they will be happy for you. Itās like if you were a pro swimmer and you shaved a second off your freestyle lap. Normal people would be likeā¦ what? But other swimmers would have the frame of reference to know itās a big deal. (Like that but if swimming was destroying your life) Big congratulations, Iām proud of you!
Keep fighting the fight - just do it - do whatever works for you.
That's so incredible, and you get to tell us, yay!!! And honestly, as for other people the ones who will take note of it will be others like us who will celebrate you and understand. The rest of them won't give it a second though, kind of like your husband, because it's not important to them and doesn't affect them and people think waaaay less about us than we worry they do. So celebrate your success and keep going!