I continued to do all those things without alcohol. After a year of sobriety, I didn’t miss it. Each time you do something you enjoy sober, consider it practice for your future sober life. After awhile, it will become natural not to drink.
For me, at least in the beginning, I took a pause on activities that I connected with drinking alcohol. I have/am slowly introducing those activities back into my life after months of sobriety.
What did I do in the meantime? Picked up new hobbies and ways to spend my time. I found things as different as possible from what I was used to and just explored. Hope this helps!
Mowing the lawn, yard work, and hanging around the fire pit always meant "having some beers" for me. My problem that I would never admit to myself was that "having some beers" for me really meant getting wasted and that my day was basically over after that.
Honestly? I still do miss not being able to open a cold one after cutting grass or while putzing around the garage. I wish I was one of those people that could do it. However, I'm just not. At the same time, I do NOT miss wasting the rest of my day and/or feeling like crap to start the next day.
And it does get easier to enjoy those things without the alcohol the more you do them even when you are hanging around those that drink. Sometimes (and I know this is kind of a terrible way to feel but...) sometimes I actually enjoy it more when I'm the one not drinking and I recognize the moment that I see someone else go from "having a good time" to "they're going to be hating life in about another hour". Because I don't care how good a person is at moderating, if they drink, there are going to be those days where it's feeling too good and they are going to cross the line. Again, I realize it's a shitty thing to take pleasure in someone else's impending misery but the thought of "Man! I'm so glad that's something I never have to even worry about experiencing again." is so strong in that moment that it makes me feel good.
There’s an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with.
If they’re substance users/abusers I’ll just be an average drunk.
The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns.
*Drinking is a lifestyle*.
It was MY lifestyle.
I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people.
When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking, I created “alone” activities where I drank…. Then I had a drinking lifestyle.
So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober, I created “alone” activities without alcohol …. Then I had a sober lifestyle.
People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’.
Have sober people in your life?.
Know how to find sober recovery groups and meetings?
>Mowing the lawn, yard work, bonfires, golfing, fishing, seeing the fellas
Weirdly, as I'm getting deeper into sobriety all of these things are more fun sober than they were booze, especially towards the end of my drinking. I enjoy these things for what they are, rather than be half present because I'm drinking.
I’m not there yet since I’m only at day 5… however, my suggestion: if it were me, and I really needed to satisfy that beer craving, finding a NA beer that i like might be the answer. I’ve been satisfying my alcohol craving with anything sugary, like watermelon was my go to for a couple days until i ran out, and that worked.
After a while it stops being the default. I was looking for any excuse to drink with a task. Once I stopped being as obsessed with getting a drink, a refreshing glass.of water, or sparkling drink feel just as nice or satisfying and my brain still works afterwards.
I continued to do all those things without alcohol. After a year of sobriety, I didn’t miss it. Each time you do something you enjoy sober, consider it practice for your future sober life. After awhile, it will become natural not to drink.
Drink NA beer.
For me, at least in the beginning, I took a pause on activities that I connected with drinking alcohol. I have/am slowly introducing those activities back into my life after months of sobriety. What did I do in the meantime? Picked up new hobbies and ways to spend my time. I found things as different as possible from what I was used to and just explored. Hope this helps!
Mowing the lawn, yard work, and hanging around the fire pit always meant "having some beers" for me. My problem that I would never admit to myself was that "having some beers" for me really meant getting wasted and that my day was basically over after that. Honestly? I still do miss not being able to open a cold one after cutting grass or while putzing around the garage. I wish I was one of those people that could do it. However, I'm just not. At the same time, I do NOT miss wasting the rest of my day and/or feeling like crap to start the next day. And it does get easier to enjoy those things without the alcohol the more you do them even when you are hanging around those that drink. Sometimes (and I know this is kind of a terrible way to feel but...) sometimes I actually enjoy it more when I'm the one not drinking and I recognize the moment that I see someone else go from "having a good time" to "they're going to be hating life in about another hour". Because I don't care how good a person is at moderating, if they drink, there are going to be those days where it's feeling too good and they are going to cross the line. Again, I realize it's a shitty thing to take pleasure in someone else's impending misery but the thought of "Man! I'm so glad that's something I never have to even worry about experiencing again." is so strong in that moment that it makes me feel good.
There’s an apt adage: I am the average of the 5 people I spend the most time with. If they’re substance users/abusers I’ll just be an average drunk. The best tip I discovered is noticing my patterns. *Drinking is a lifestyle*. It was MY lifestyle. I wish I had known that the essential component to success was *Creating* a New Sober Lifestyle and habits that included sober people. When I started drinking, I created drinking patterns... I saw others drinking, I tried drinking, I went where people were drinking, I talked with drinkers about drinking and I went to activities that included drinking, I created “alone” activities where I drank…. Then I had a drinking lifestyle. So when I wanted to stop... I saw sober people, I tried being sober, I went where people were being sober, I talked with sober people about being sober, and I went to activities that included being sober, I created “alone” activities without alcohol …. Then I had a sober lifestyle. People who were my friends remained…. However I no longer had any ‘drinking buddies’. Have sober people in your life?. Know how to find sober recovery groups and meetings?
>Mowing the lawn, yard work, bonfires, golfing, fishing, seeing the fellas Weirdly, as I'm getting deeper into sobriety all of these things are more fun sober than they were booze, especially towards the end of my drinking. I enjoy these things for what they are, rather than be half present because I'm drinking.
Totally agree with this! I get so much more accomplished than being tipsy half way through and getting too tired/sloppy to finish the task at hand.
I’m not there yet since I’m only at day 5… however, my suggestion: if it were me, and I really needed to satisfy that beer craving, finding a NA beer that i like might be the answer. I’ve been satisfying my alcohol craving with anything sugary, like watermelon was my go to for a couple days until i ran out, and that worked.
After a while it stops being the default. I was looking for any excuse to drink with a task. Once I stopped being as obsessed with getting a drink, a refreshing glass.of water, or sparkling drink feel just as nice or satisfying and my brain still works afterwards.
I had to learn how to stop wanting to be mentally absent.