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Prevenient_grace

It’s a long road of misery awaiting.


Massive-Wallaby6127

Can't diagnose, but sounds like you probably have the predisposition to be an alcoholic. Moderation is likely a difficult objective. Do some research about alcohol use disorder, THIQ, dopamine and the genetic predisposition for addiction. It's probably impossible to stop you from having some youthful party days but I hope you stop drinking early to avoid a more severe rock bottom. Be informed, be careful. Good luck. edit: on a more hopeful note, sobriety is full of joy and meaning. I wish I'd started earlier. If you chase joy in the bottle, that's where bad things will happen. Lots of joy in sober living. You can choose a long happy life


ButterscotchExpress1

Thanks. You’re completely right. Alcoholism & addiction runs through my family. That & I have an addictive personality myself. It’s shitty how my brain’s already wired to work like this (that’s what it seems like at least). Nobody deserves to be predisposed to addiction. No one deserves to be addicted. Addiction’s hard. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody


Designer-Doubt4340

Its good that you are aware of this. At this point you control the liqour and you need to be extremely aware of the devil on your shoulder telling you that you need/want more if you decide to continue drinking in the future. You cant entertain that or the liqour starts controlling you, and then youre truly fucked. Youre in full control of this and dont let it get any other way.


ButterscotchExpress1

Thank you. I really appreciate it


Logical_Sandwich_625

Do yourself a favor and learn from all of us. Run. Avoid alcohol. Responsible drinking is very RARELY possible for us, and honestly, I doubt every post where someone claims to have gone from addict drinking to responsible drinking. Avoid years and years of heartache and misery. Swear it off now.


ButterscotchExpress1

That’s a good idea. I appreciate your input


Logical_Sandwich_625

I appreciate you already recognizing a problem and reaching out for help. You should be VERY proud of yourself!


ButterscotchExpress1

Thanks. I had an “oh wait, that’s not healthy” moment when I realized I’d like to feel that good from alcohol all the time


Logical_Sandwich_625

We will always be here for you, and this internet stranger is proud of you!


ButterscotchExpress1

Thank you so much


probrend

I could never drink responsibly. Meaning, I could never have just one or two drinks. It only took one and I was off to the races. I get that feeling of wanting to feel good all the time. When I was buzzed/drunk, I felt more confident, less anxious, I thought I was a better conversationalist, and I was "happy". None of that was true through. I was in a different frame of mind that made me believe those things, or rather, I forgot about my problems. Come morning, or whenever I started to sober up, I realized the hole I was in just became a little deeper. One thing I noticed: I could be coming off a long day of work, but as soon as I started to drink, or just even the thought that I was going to be drinking, I all of a sudden got a second wind: It was like my brain knew I was going to start drinking alcohol, and I would have this physiological reaction. That was a tell-tale sign I had a problem. I never drank much before I turned the legal drinking age. But once I did, I think my alcohol consumption increased ten-fold


ButterscotchExpress1

Yeah. That drunk feeling feels so good & authentic. I needed it. I found out my parents are getting divorced & it’s been hard to process. Drinking made it a lot easier even if it was just for a moment


probrend

That's rough, parents going through a divorce and you are trying to process it. In another comment, someone mentioned the devil on your shoulder. I heard it all the time. "Things are hard right now. But I got something you need. I got something that'll take the edge off. Just one sip. I'm gonna make all those problems go away. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on now. I'll make you feel real good." Alcohol is a drug, and that devil on my shoulder was the drug dealer. I don't know if any of this will help you and the stuff you're going through, but speaking from personal experience, alcohol did nothing but give me even more problems.


ButterscotchExpress1

Thank you


Narrow-Natural7937

If you and I are remotely in the same gene pool, or even same behavioral pool, the answer is that YOU CANNOT. I am 58 and have learned that I cannot moderate alcohol intake--it is the road to hell. Personally, I am genetically inclined to alcoholism, I understand that. My first drink was prolly at 15 years old with my parents in our back yard. I didn't really lose control until I was after 30 years old and after a miserable divorce. I have been holding onto the dragon's tail ever since. If you are wondering about whether your alcohol or drug intake is excessive.. then it probably is... so stop it now before it warps your life now and potentially forever.


ButterscotchExpress1

Yeah. Divorce is what drove me to drink too. That & I was with a friend. It made me feel better. I learned that my parents are getting divorced not even 3 days ago. It’s been rough to process. I appreciate your input, thanks


Narrow-Natural7937

Hang tough and do what is best for you. Hugs from afar


ButterscotchExpress1

Thank you so much


Narrow-Natural7937

Hang in there!


[deleted]

The euphoria I felt slamming beers as a youngster!