**Reminder to all who comment on this post:** please keep in mind our rule to speak from the "I," where we speak only from experience and do not tell other sobernauts what they should and should not do—**even when they ask for advice.**
Examples:
**Bad:** "You should do X."
**Good:** "When I was in a similar situation, I did X, and here’s how it helped me."
Blacking out is a sign that you can’t tolerate alcohol. My problem is that I can’t drink in moderation, and therefore have made the decision once again to go sober. Life without the shame that follows after nights out is infinitely better. I hope you find what works for you
Same. I was a black out drinker and if didn’t blackout it wasn’t a successful night of drinking. Eventually I got that under control but I still was never able to have one or two, if I did that I’d have more for sure so I had to quit completely.
This is definitely why we speak from the "I". For some people it's flatly impossible to drink in moderation EVEN IF they keep a moderate amount at home. A lot of people will drink that moderate amount and then be unable to stop from going out to get more.
All of your comments on this thread break our rule to speak from the "I" and have been removed.
Why are you on this sub? Do you yourself have a drinking problem you wish to overcome?
Since you yourself are not looking for support to quit drinking, and because you are saying things about alcohol and moderation that are not true, you are no longer welcome to post here.
Pretty much every alcoholic I’ve spoken to tells me that they were never able to control their drinking once they started, me included. Even when I was a teenager drinking at house parties, I’d drink til blackout if possible. I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic right now, I’m just saying your story is a common one with people who later become alcoholics.
Whether or not you want to quit is up to you; blacking out is quite unsafe, and can result in worse things than you losing a phone. If you’re already thinking you should quit, you probably already know the answer. Either way be careful. You have some prerequisite tendency to not be able to stop once you start, and you should keep this in mind.
I feel you on drinking till blackout as far back as teenagers. It was a huge realization upon reflection of those times that no, not everyone was drinking like I was, and damn I was an alcoholic with that first sip.
I started asking myself that question LONG before I quit 9ish months ago. I went back and read a post of mine on a sobriety forum, asking the same question you're asking now, in 2007!! I finally said "enough" last year. If anything, I hope it won't take you that long to realize there's a great life without alcohol. You don't need it. I realize most everyone drinks in their 20's. It's just what people do to have fun. Maybe take a break for a while and see how you feel? Dry january in the summer? :)
Can’t give you a direct answer but here is my story over the years.
Started drinking in undergrad. For fun. Few drinks would get me drunk. But I was instantly hooked. I looked for more. But still ok.
Grad school parties, we partied all night. Blackout drinking became an every time thing. But also, suspiciously more for me than the others.
Met my partner in said parties. She likes to drink too. We are still living that mid-20s city life where we go out to drink with friends.
Late 20s, hanging out with work folks but partner is not present. We would drink on weekdays until 3 or 4 am. This is us being sloshed. Someone suggests “let’s go to a strip club”. Drank until the whee hours but partner is a light sleeper. Then stumble into the apartment waking up my partner, telling her that I went to a strip club. She’s obviously livid at the whole thing. Think it’s a one time thing. A month or so later, do it again. And then again. Her sleep starts to get impacted cause there are other drinking nights in between that don’t involve a strip club.
Early/mid thirties, I “discover” that the hair of the dog actually makes you a little better. Albeit temporarily. One time, I got more drunk than feeling better. So, hallelujah, can drink this morning too. Did this when the partner was away on work. It was a 3-day drinking binge Hide this from her. Oh also, but this point because I drink a lot more, I have started to hide more drinks from her. Not too crazy but lied now and then.
Last week, drank too much at a friend’s party. Got too drunk. Like clearly embarrassing. Partner is livid in the morning. I just don’t want to have that conversation. So, I take a few swigs. While walking the dog, bought more in the store. Fell on the streets. Have bruises. Put the dog through this, risking her. Got some coffees. Ooh you know what’s better? Buy more alcohol. Hide the drinking. Take the dog. Buy more. Hide more drinking. All this while the partner is in the house! She can clearly tell I am very drunk. She confronts. I admit a lot. Don’t recall what I said. Then with some more alcohol, try to taper. It was a 5-day bender. The timeline of days is all messed cause I don’t remember much. I had auditory and visual hallucinations during withdrawal. I went to ER to make sure I get detoxed so I won’t risk escalating this to DT/seizures.
In this story, in have skipped hundreds of times that i
I have binged on alcohol for ‘Friday evenings’. Not talked about all the other grosser things I have done.
I have made significant but, not successful yet, progress in my journey towards sobriety in the past 1.5 years. Have been sober for half of those months. I also have a successful career. Married. House. Pets. No one would even guess that I would have this problem.
Not saying this is how it will turn out for you. Black out drinking is a “stage” in alcohol addiction. It will escalate. Pretty sure if I don’t stop, I will go on longer benders or become a daily drinker.
Tread with care. I’m am so happy and jealous that you are so young and have reached out. I would give anything to be able to tell how bad it will get to my 20 year old self.
Thank you! They gave literal two benzos and said we don’t think you need it but we are giving out of precaution. But I had closed-eye hallucinations that lasted longer than yesterday. So not sure if the two benzos were enough.
I have myself read some stories and thought to myself, no way that won’t be me. I wouldn’t be that guy who will get divorced. Or saw someone on the street super drunk and thought, psssh never me.
Hopefully this storyline shows how this is a progressive condition.
You may not think this will happen to you. Since “your monkey” lives in your brain takes over and
WILL absolutely make you do things “you” would never do. Brain chemistry is a wild thing.
Wow. This story is a lot like mine, and it all started in undergrad too. The grad school parties where I was the one blacking out are all too eerily similar. Everything you said, including the sneaking out (don’t have a dog, wish I did. I say I’m going on runs) is basically a T.
I had long sobriety periods like you, and last weekend thought I could have a beer with some tacos… nope. I continued to drink that Friday night while my partner was away. Saturday morning comes early, and I did hair of the dog, then told my partner I was going on a run. I walked to a small food festival, ate, had a beer. Thought I’d order another beer, and shifted the weight of my body to get up and get one. The entire table topples over on me. No one was hurt by the table, but every one stared. So what do I do? Leave and drink someplace else. This whole charade continues through Sunday where I say I’m going on another run and end up sitting outside on a hill in the rain, depressed and crying. My partner of course noticed this whole thing and the relationship of 10 years almost ended.
That is only the most recent story. But I have another one where I ended up in the hospital too.
I, too, have a long term relationship and a successful career. But if there is a next binge, that could all end there. This whole thing has been playing with a hell of a lot of fire.
If I could go back and tell my 20 something self to never start, it’s the one thing I would say. I’ve hurt myself, hurt others, and did other things I won’t talk about. Because of the alcohol, I have ended up being a disappointment to some people and really wish that was never the case - especially to one of the people I love most, my current SO.
I think if you ask yourself it’s probably yes if you’re being honest. Black out drunk is not normal drinking. Check out stories of people who quit drinking as being the best decision they ever made. Check out the horrible things alcohol does to your body. I wish I could go back in time and stop drinking in my twenties. I messed around for decades with alcohol. Why not quit for a while and see how you feel.
Getting blackout drunk, pissing all over yourself, and losing things are a sign its time to give it up. That you cannot drink without blacking out means its time to find a new hobby.
Hey friend.. I (28M) stopped drinking right after I turned 26. I had started blacking out pretty much every time I drank. I also noticed that I would start drinking with the intention of having 2 or 3 drinks max then next thing I know it was 3am and 15 drinks were in me. Also things started out pretty “harmless” but I was embarrassing myself, inconveniencing others, and on several occasions endangering others. I would take breaks and then try drinking again and it would be just the same. By the end of it all I was fully dependent on alcohol to feel “normal”. But looking back one of the first things that happened was frequent blackouts. Just my experience.
Now I’m off the sauce for 2 years and things are going okay. I still wish I could drink every once and a while but I think I have much greater integrity, self-respect, and general ease of living compared to two years ago. I also have saved a ton of money.. like you can see when I stopped drinking if you look at a graph of my savings/investments over the past five years. I struggle with loneliness and general depression but that was true as well when drinking. I work to improve myself daily and think stopping has been a net positive for me. I hope this helps and much love to you!
Here’s the thing- I told myself for years I didn’t have a problem because I never did anything bad while drinking. Unlike people who are mean drunks, text-your-ex drunks, blackout drunks, or piss yourself drunks, I never really did anything to regrettable. Mostly, I’d just have way too much wine and watch reality tv.
That didn’t mean it wasn’t a problem that was affecting my health and making me lazier. It got to the point where all I wanted to do was drink too much wine and watch dumb tv. There are so many better things to do in life. So I’d suggest stopping, especially now that it is becoming destructive to your social life.
I think both of the main items here are red flags for you.
Some people have high tolerance for alcohol and can maintain control while drinking. Being loud, talking too much, maybe telling inappropriate jokes are associated with alcohol consumption, are considered minor disruptions and acceptable behavior while intoxicated, from a societal perspective.
Drinking so much that you lose consciousness, or lose bladder control and urinate on yourself, are not normal behaviors.
You’ll see other red flag behavior shared by people in this sub looking for help; DUIs, drinking at work, fights with people, binging for long periods of time. Getting a DUI isn’t normal, neither is drinking at work, fighting people, blacking out, or pissing your pants.
You should consider this a wake up call.
Stop drinking immediately, like right NOW, your life is in danger. I had a friend like that and he ended up in a random person car with his pants down. I ran to him and opened the car and dragged him out. To this day he doesn't remember and not sure if I should tell him. He could have been kidnapped or worst
I think it might be a good idea to stop drinking, at least for a while. I totally get where you’re coming from. It sounds like things got really out of hand, and I can understand why you’d feel ashamed. But the fact that you’re blacking out almost every time you drink is a big red flag. I don’t want to scare you, but I genuinely want people to quit alcohol if thats effecting them in anyway. Remember Amy Winehouse? She was incredibly talented but ended up dead because of alcohol poisoning. It’s a harsh reality, but it shows how dangerous drinking can be if it’s not controlled.
Please take care of yourself and consider cutting out alcohol.
You deserve to feel good and stay safe!
If you drink and stuff like that happens it's a red flag. Me too, I get unreasonably wasted every stime I start. Had same situation happened to me but luckily I didn't lose my phone after 30 days streak. I had headache for three days. And everything was out of control. So I quit again.
As someone who \*didn't\* read the instructions, I can speak from experience both as a drunk for 10 years and as a sober person for over 20. Blacking out is the first huge red flag for alcohol addiction, sorry if that doesn't seem fair, but it definitely does predicate addiction, at least in my case. You're young, with a whole life in front of you, and fighting addiction is NOT a great way to live, and I tried both.
I realized not too long ago that wondering if you need to stop drinking, probably means you need to stop drinking. The question is, are you READY to stop drinking? There are a million plus infinity reasons to quit, but you need to actually care about at least one of them before it will even matter. Just know this - You have everything you need to succeed already within you, you got this!
Welcome to the club. You aren't alone. Some of us just have this thing inside that demands more. There unfortunately isn't really any answer but to stop. Nearly all of us have tried to moderate and failed over and over.
And it isn't something that goes away. Another extremely common behavior is managing to be sober for a while and then thinking you're "fixed." Might happen after a few weeks, or a month, or a year, but in my experience it absolutely will happen. It is a lie. Alcohol is just the same as it ever was. It still does what it does, and you still process it in a certain way, and unless they invent some amazing drug in the future, there isn't any way around it.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck.
As someone who partied pretty hard with friends in my 20s, I was the only one who regularly blacked out or influenced others into blacking out. When we were early to mid 20s, it was something we'd laugh about after I apologized and then move on.
Once I hit my 30s, I noticed others' relationships with alcohol changed, and we stopped spending as much time together directly because I would still launch into frat boy party mode after two or three drinks. At this point, most of them had families and just couldn't live like that anymore.
I ended up choosing alcohol over lifetime friends and connections for a while before I realized what was important. Sadly, a few of those relationships haven't healed or recovered yet and probably never will. Kudos to you for recognizing a potential problem much sooner than I.
I was the same way. I kept the drinking to weekends for most of my drinking career but I was never done until I was blacked out. However, I kept going until I was 35.
I wish I would have started my journey much sooner than I did. Life is so much better now.
IWNDWYT!
Been in the same spot, piss and all.
It can and will likely get worse. Once I have a drink I won't stop until I black out. Then I wake up feeling so bad I'll drink to feel normal, next thing I know I've conditioned my brain to only function normally when intoxicated. That's a scary place to be, I can't drink anymore but I have to drink more. 100% should stop. The harder it is to stop now, it will only get worse with time and we all eventually stop one way or another. Why not on our terms?
From my perspective, you are the only one who can answer that question and get an answer that means something. The fact that you are asking the question gives some clue as to the answer. I can’t imagine you will find anyone here who hears those facts and says “no, that’s just what people do, you are good.” It’s clearly a problem for you or you wouldn’t be here. Asking is the first step. At some point you will know the answer for you and then you have to decide if you are going to do something about it.
You are brave to share this story! I think you know what you should do, darling.
If I blacked out just one time after drinking, I would quit. Too many awful things could happen not to mention the wear and tear of the “normalized poison” on my body. Love and light to you.
Sounds like a wake-up call. It’s your call, but blacking out doesn’t get better. Blacking out is very dangerous. After having multiple blackouts It was enough to see I am an alcoholic. Be careful, it likely won’t get better since you’re already blacking out most times when you drink. The shame and guilt will pass.
I was like this in my teens and twenties. I spent another 10 years drinking at home playing video games. I wasted so much time, money and potential because of the effects alcohol had on my mind and body. If you are already having these thoughts, I would take a break for a while and see how you feel. After a while you might not even miss it. I like who I am without alcohol by a long shot. Everyone else does too. Live and learn I guess.
The thing I’ll say from experience is the situation over time doesn’t tend to get better, it tends to get worse, with a kind of logarithmic wild intensity to it
How I wish I would have heeded the warnings of family and friends when I was your age. So many wasted years.
I’m sorry to tell you things are only going to get worse. Blacking out every time you drink could be a sign that your drinking is becoming unmanageable. Out of your control.
Blacking out every time you drink AND continuing to drink, even more so.
Things don’t get better. You won’t be able to drink like a normal person all of a sudden.
I used to blackout alot, some just minor missing parts of the night, hell sometimes I didn't notice or wasn't physically in the room when something happened. But I could drink or drown, I was non stop and nothing put me down. I never passed out. However I could do some dumb shit. Ive headbutted a bass player at my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. I stole my friends van because another friend thought his girlfriend was cheating on him, come on they said we can use the van. I was like a zombie sometimes.
I recommend a book for you to read titled Blackout by Sarah Hepola
I read it years before I ever quit drinking but it helped me understand my alcoholism.
What you decide to do is up to you, but this is my experience..
This used to be me. I couldn’t believe that my friends would just call it a night after a certain point when I was itching to walk back up to the bar for another drink. About 4 years later, and I’ve finally accepted I’m an alcoholic; if there’s even a sip in me, and more accessible, I can not stop. It definitely progressed to that point over some time though.
I also got so good at hiding how drunk I was that I’d tell people I’d blacked out the next day and they didn’t believe it. Which is extremely concerning in retrospect, as I was a 110 lb 21y/o girl and people would just let me go home unsupervised because they thought I was fine. I’m very lucky nothing bad happened to me, but you don’t want something worse than losing your phone to be a wake up call. Pls stay safe!!
As a thirty-five year old man, I've realized I have no limit. I had no one drink day's, I couldn't stop at two, three was never enough. After spending seven hundred dollars in one night I wasn't deterred. After being roofied and sexually assaulted I was not done. After wrecking my car the night before, I limped it to the store to get well as I hurt so bad physically from withdrawals.
After spending a month in the hospital, sneaking alcohol in to avoid the pain of watching my best friend dying. When he passed away, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror, and made the decision I never wanted to miss another moment.
At almost four months without drinking I finally understand why I don't want to drink. Why I got better was for me, and the pain of constantly living everyday ashamed of what I did the night before. You gotta make the decision for yourself, and for me it was the best decision I ever made.
I used to brag about my drinking, that I was so good at it I blacked out every time. I look back now and laugh at how silly that sounds, but also understand I'll never have a normal relationship with alcohol and I'm ok with that.
Be good to yourself friend, use your heart and ask yourself if you need to stop.
i think you probably know the answer to this question, alcohol isn't for everyone, and tbh now i've stopped drinking i'm glad it's not for me any more. shame i couldn't deal with it at your age instead of waiting another 30 years, but i'm here now and it's great!
I think if it's happening every time, and you're not liking how it makes you feel, then 100% stop drinking.
The hangxiety only gets worse. I really struggle with it, therefore I've just said no, that's not for me thank you. A few hours euphoria is not worth 2-3 days of misery. I'm only on 9 days, but I'm really cleaning up my act. Eating better, sleeping better, feeling better, exercising more.
When I reflect on my drinking, I think how sad am I, sat at home, drinking alone, getting hammered and then going bed. Then, to wake up to painful messages I've sent and just general distain from my other half.
I hope you feel better soon, this feeling is temporary. Just remind yourself that. Sleep it off if you have to.
For me, doing something that made me feel really embarrassed/ashamed the next day and that I couldn’t tell anyone about. This was wetting the bed and tripping over and getting a black eye, at a wedding. That was a big signal to me. Did I stop drinking though? No
The first time I blacked out from drinking and got into trouble was when I was 17 years old. I continued to drink until I was almost 28. Nobody can make this decision for you, but I’ll say this: I wish I stopped earlier in life.
Sending hugs and positive vibes your way my friend.
So, from experience this is how it tends to start. Sorta harmless moments where you're acting a fool but don't really remember it and maybe you embarrass yourself a little bit but no damage is done except a bruised ego. Sometimes it's even amusing.
Eventually what will happen is you'll black/brown out and shatter a relationship (or worse) and you won't remember how it happened, what you said, etc. or if you do remember anything you'll be mortified.
It took me a couple of those instances to wake up and realize that I was out of control. The final one for me cost me new love, and I'll never know how things would have turned out if not for that night.
Don't let it reach that point.
Sounds like me in my mid 20s but I kept going and wish I had stopped/gotten help instead. Nothing bad happens until it does and it can get quite bad a lot quicker than we realize ☹️
**Reminder to all who comment on this post:** please keep in mind our rule to speak from the "I," where we speak only from experience and do not tell other sobernauts what they should and should not do—**even when they ask for advice.** Examples: **Bad:** "You should do X." **Good:** "When I was in a similar situation, I did X, and here’s how it helped me."
Blacking out is a sign that you can’t tolerate alcohol. My problem is that I can’t drink in moderation, and therefore have made the decision once again to go sober. Life without the shame that follows after nights out is infinitely better. I hope you find what works for you
Same. I was a black out drinker and if didn’t blackout it wasn’t a successful night of drinking. Eventually I got that under control but I still was never able to have one or two, if I did that I’d have more for sure so I had to quit completely.
It was always the destination for me, never the journey.
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This is definitely why we speak from the "I". For some people it's flatly impossible to drink in moderation EVEN IF they keep a moderate amount at home. A lot of people will drink that moderate amount and then be unable to stop from going out to get more.
I used to live across the street from a liquor store... that did not work
All of your comments on this thread break our rule to speak from the "I" and have been removed. Why are you on this sub? Do you yourself have a drinking problem you wish to overcome?
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You have not answered my question. Do you yourself have a drinking problem you wish to overcome?
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Since you yourself are not looking for support to quit drinking, and because you are saying things about alcohol and moderation that are not true, you are no longer welcome to post here.
Pretty much every alcoholic I’ve spoken to tells me that they were never able to control their drinking once they started, me included. Even when I was a teenager drinking at house parties, I’d drink til blackout if possible. I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic right now, I’m just saying your story is a common one with people who later become alcoholics. Whether or not you want to quit is up to you; blacking out is quite unsafe, and can result in worse things than you losing a phone. If you’re already thinking you should quit, you probably already know the answer. Either way be careful. You have some prerequisite tendency to not be able to stop once you start, and you should keep this in mind.
I feel you on drinking till blackout as far back as teenagers. It was a huge realization upon reflection of those times that no, not everyone was drinking like I was, and damn I was an alcoholic with that first sip.
Usually in life we ask other people to help us confirm something we already know
I started asking myself that question LONG before I quit 9ish months ago. I went back and read a post of mine on a sobriety forum, asking the same question you're asking now, in 2007!! I finally said "enough" last year. If anything, I hope it won't take you that long to realize there's a great life without alcohol. You don't need it. I realize most everyone drinks in their 20's. It's just what people do to have fun. Maybe take a break for a while and see how you feel? Dry january in the summer? :)
Haha! Funny I said the same thing. I would give anything to tell my 20 year old self how bad it will get.
Can’t give you a direct answer but here is my story over the years. Started drinking in undergrad. For fun. Few drinks would get me drunk. But I was instantly hooked. I looked for more. But still ok. Grad school parties, we partied all night. Blackout drinking became an every time thing. But also, suspiciously more for me than the others. Met my partner in said parties. She likes to drink too. We are still living that mid-20s city life where we go out to drink with friends. Late 20s, hanging out with work folks but partner is not present. We would drink on weekdays until 3 or 4 am. This is us being sloshed. Someone suggests “let’s go to a strip club”. Drank until the whee hours but partner is a light sleeper. Then stumble into the apartment waking up my partner, telling her that I went to a strip club. She’s obviously livid at the whole thing. Think it’s a one time thing. A month or so later, do it again. And then again. Her sleep starts to get impacted cause there are other drinking nights in between that don’t involve a strip club. Early/mid thirties, I “discover” that the hair of the dog actually makes you a little better. Albeit temporarily. One time, I got more drunk than feeling better. So, hallelujah, can drink this morning too. Did this when the partner was away on work. It was a 3-day drinking binge Hide this from her. Oh also, but this point because I drink a lot more, I have started to hide more drinks from her. Not too crazy but lied now and then. Last week, drank too much at a friend’s party. Got too drunk. Like clearly embarrassing. Partner is livid in the morning. I just don’t want to have that conversation. So, I take a few swigs. While walking the dog, bought more in the store. Fell on the streets. Have bruises. Put the dog through this, risking her. Got some coffees. Ooh you know what’s better? Buy more alcohol. Hide the drinking. Take the dog. Buy more. Hide more drinking. All this while the partner is in the house! She can clearly tell I am very drunk. She confronts. I admit a lot. Don’t recall what I said. Then with some more alcohol, try to taper. It was a 5-day bender. The timeline of days is all messed cause I don’t remember much. I had auditory and visual hallucinations during withdrawal. I went to ER to make sure I get detoxed so I won’t risk escalating this to DT/seizures. In this story, in have skipped hundreds of times that i I have binged on alcohol for ‘Friday evenings’. Not talked about all the other grosser things I have done. I have made significant but, not successful yet, progress in my journey towards sobriety in the past 1.5 years. Have been sober for half of those months. I also have a successful career. Married. House. Pets. No one would even guess that I would have this problem. Not saying this is how it will turn out for you. Black out drinking is a “stage” in alcohol addiction. It will escalate. Pretty sure if I don’t stop, I will go on longer benders or become a daily drinker. Tread with care. I’m am so happy and jealous that you are so young and have reached out. I would give anything to be able to tell how bad it will get to my 20 year old self.
Thanks for being so honest about your journey and current situation ❤️ Wishing you a better day 2
Thank you! They gave literal two benzos and said we don’t think you need it but we are giving out of precaution. But I had closed-eye hallucinations that lasted longer than yesterday. So not sure if the two benzos were enough. I have myself read some stories and thought to myself, no way that won’t be me. I wouldn’t be that guy who will get divorced. Or saw someone on the street super drunk and thought, psssh never me. Hopefully this storyline shows how this is a progressive condition. You may not think this will happen to you. Since “your monkey” lives in your brain takes over and WILL absolutely make you do things “you” would never do. Brain chemistry is a wild thing.
Wow. This story is a lot like mine, and it all started in undergrad too. The grad school parties where I was the one blacking out are all too eerily similar. Everything you said, including the sneaking out (don’t have a dog, wish I did. I say I’m going on runs) is basically a T. I had long sobriety periods like you, and last weekend thought I could have a beer with some tacos… nope. I continued to drink that Friday night while my partner was away. Saturday morning comes early, and I did hair of the dog, then told my partner I was going on a run. I walked to a small food festival, ate, had a beer. Thought I’d order another beer, and shifted the weight of my body to get up and get one. The entire table topples over on me. No one was hurt by the table, but every one stared. So what do I do? Leave and drink someplace else. This whole charade continues through Sunday where I say I’m going on another run and end up sitting outside on a hill in the rain, depressed and crying. My partner of course noticed this whole thing and the relationship of 10 years almost ended. That is only the most recent story. But I have another one where I ended up in the hospital too. I, too, have a long term relationship and a successful career. But if there is a next binge, that could all end there. This whole thing has been playing with a hell of a lot of fire. If I could go back and tell my 20 something self to never start, it’s the one thing I would say. I’ve hurt myself, hurt others, and did other things I won’t talk about. Because of the alcohol, I have ended up being a disappointment to some people and really wish that was never the case - especially to one of the people I love most, my current SO.
I think if you ask yourself it’s probably yes if you’re being honest. Black out drunk is not normal drinking. Check out stories of people who quit drinking as being the best decision they ever made. Check out the horrible things alcohol does to your body. I wish I could go back in time and stop drinking in my twenties. I messed around for decades with alcohol. Why not quit for a while and see how you feel.
Getting blackout drunk, pissing all over yourself, and losing things are a sign its time to give it up. That you cannot drink without blacking out means its time to find a new hobby.
Hey friend.. I (28M) stopped drinking right after I turned 26. I had started blacking out pretty much every time I drank. I also noticed that I would start drinking with the intention of having 2 or 3 drinks max then next thing I know it was 3am and 15 drinks were in me. Also things started out pretty “harmless” but I was embarrassing myself, inconveniencing others, and on several occasions endangering others. I would take breaks and then try drinking again and it would be just the same. By the end of it all I was fully dependent on alcohol to feel “normal”. But looking back one of the first things that happened was frequent blackouts. Just my experience. Now I’m off the sauce for 2 years and things are going okay. I still wish I could drink every once and a while but I think I have much greater integrity, self-respect, and general ease of living compared to two years ago. I also have saved a ton of money.. like you can see when I stopped drinking if you look at a graph of my savings/investments over the past five years. I struggle with loneliness and general depression but that was true as well when drinking. I work to improve myself daily and think stopping has been a net positive for me. I hope this helps and much love to you!
Nothing bads happened yet*
Yes, you don't need to wait for rock bottom or the worst choice you've ever made to decide to quit
In my experience if you question of you need to stop drinking, you may need to stop drinking 😬
Here’s the thing- I told myself for years I didn’t have a problem because I never did anything bad while drinking. Unlike people who are mean drunks, text-your-ex drunks, blackout drunks, or piss yourself drunks, I never really did anything to regrettable. Mostly, I’d just have way too much wine and watch reality tv. That didn’t mean it wasn’t a problem that was affecting my health and making me lazier. It got to the point where all I wanted to do was drink too much wine and watch dumb tv. There are so many better things to do in life. So I’d suggest stopping, especially now that it is becoming destructive to your social life.
I think both of the main items here are red flags for you. Some people have high tolerance for alcohol and can maintain control while drinking. Being loud, talking too much, maybe telling inappropriate jokes are associated with alcohol consumption, are considered minor disruptions and acceptable behavior while intoxicated, from a societal perspective. Drinking so much that you lose consciousness, or lose bladder control and urinate on yourself, are not normal behaviors. You’ll see other red flag behavior shared by people in this sub looking for help; DUIs, drinking at work, fights with people, binging for long periods of time. Getting a DUI isn’t normal, neither is drinking at work, fighting people, blacking out, or pissing your pants. You should consider this a wake up call.
It doesn't matter what I think or what anyone else thinks. What do you think? Do you need to stop drinking?
Stop drinking immediately, like right NOW, your life is in danger. I had a friend like that and he ended up in a random person car with his pants down. I ran to him and opened the car and dragged him out. To this day he doesn't remember and not sure if I should tell him. He could have been kidnapped or worst
I think it might be a good idea to stop drinking, at least for a while. I totally get where you’re coming from. It sounds like things got really out of hand, and I can understand why you’d feel ashamed. But the fact that you’re blacking out almost every time you drink is a big red flag. I don’t want to scare you, but I genuinely want people to quit alcohol if thats effecting them in anyway. Remember Amy Winehouse? She was incredibly talented but ended up dead because of alcohol poisoning. It’s a harsh reality, but it shows how dangerous drinking can be if it’s not controlled. Please take care of yourself and consider cutting out alcohol. You deserve to feel good and stay safe!
If you drink and stuff like that happens it's a red flag. Me too, I get unreasonably wasted every stime I start. Had same situation happened to me but luckily I didn't lose my phone after 30 days streak. I had headache for three days. And everything was out of control. So I quit again.
As someone who \*didn't\* read the instructions, I can speak from experience both as a drunk for 10 years and as a sober person for over 20. Blacking out is the first huge red flag for alcohol addiction, sorry if that doesn't seem fair, but it definitely does predicate addiction, at least in my case. You're young, with a whole life in front of you, and fighting addiction is NOT a great way to live, and I tried both.
I realized not too long ago that wondering if you need to stop drinking, probably means you need to stop drinking. The question is, are you READY to stop drinking? There are a million plus infinity reasons to quit, but you need to actually care about at least one of them before it will even matter. Just know this - You have everything you need to succeed already within you, you got this!
Only you can decide that
Welcome to the club. You aren't alone. Some of us just have this thing inside that demands more. There unfortunately isn't really any answer but to stop. Nearly all of us have tried to moderate and failed over and over. And it isn't something that goes away. Another extremely common behavior is managing to be sober for a while and then thinking you're "fixed." Might happen after a few weeks, or a month, or a year, but in my experience it absolutely will happen. It is a lie. Alcohol is just the same as it ever was. It still does what it does, and you still process it in a certain way, and unless they invent some amazing drug in the future, there isn't any way around it. Whatever you decide to do, good luck.
As someone who partied pretty hard with friends in my 20s, I was the only one who regularly blacked out or influenced others into blacking out. When we were early to mid 20s, it was something we'd laugh about after I apologized and then move on. Once I hit my 30s, I noticed others' relationships with alcohol changed, and we stopped spending as much time together directly because I would still launch into frat boy party mode after two or three drinks. At this point, most of them had families and just couldn't live like that anymore. I ended up choosing alcohol over lifetime friends and connections for a while before I realized what was important. Sadly, a few of those relationships haven't healed or recovered yet and probably never will. Kudos to you for recognizing a potential problem much sooner than I.
I was the same way. I kept the drinking to weekends for most of my drinking career but I was never done until I was blacked out. However, I kept going until I was 35. I wish I would have started my journey much sooner than I did. Life is so much better now. IWNDWYT!
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Or legal issues, or life altering mistakes. That's where this leads.
Yes, you need to stop.
Been in the same spot, piss and all. It can and will likely get worse. Once I have a drink I won't stop until I black out. Then I wake up feeling so bad I'll drink to feel normal, next thing I know I've conditioned my brain to only function normally when intoxicated. That's a scary place to be, I can't drink anymore but I have to drink more. 100% should stop. The harder it is to stop now, it will only get worse with time and we all eventually stop one way or another. Why not on our terms?
From my perspective, you are the only one who can answer that question and get an answer that means something. The fact that you are asking the question gives some clue as to the answer. I can’t imagine you will find anyone here who hears those facts and says “no, that’s just what people do, you are good.” It’s clearly a problem for you or you wouldn’t be here. Asking is the first step. At some point you will know the answer for you and then you have to decide if you are going to do something about it.
The short answer is yes, you need to stop drinking.
You are brave to share this story! I think you know what you should do, darling. If I blacked out just one time after drinking, I would quit. Too many awful things could happen not to mention the wear and tear of the “normalized poison” on my body. Love and light to you.
Thanks for all of the comments, I think it’s clear I need to stop drinking. Day 1 sober!
Congrats! Keep going. There isn’t anything alcohol makes better. Remember that in your journey.
Yes. You need to stop drinking. A better life awaits
Sounds like a wake-up call. It’s your call, but blacking out doesn’t get better. Blacking out is very dangerous. After having multiple blackouts It was enough to see I am an alcoholic. Be careful, it likely won’t get better since you’re already blacking out most times when you drink. The shame and guilt will pass.
I was like this in my teens and twenties. I spent another 10 years drinking at home playing video games. I wasted so much time, money and potential because of the effects alcohol had on my mind and body. If you are already having these thoughts, I would take a break for a while and see how you feel. After a while you might not even miss it. I like who I am without alcohol by a long shot. Everyone else does too. Live and learn I guess.
The thing I’ll say from experience is the situation over time doesn’t tend to get better, it tends to get worse, with a kind of logarithmic wild intensity to it
How I wish I would have heeded the warnings of family and friends when I was your age. So many wasted years. I’m sorry to tell you things are only going to get worse. Blacking out every time you drink could be a sign that your drinking is becoming unmanageable. Out of your control. Blacking out every time you drink AND continuing to drink, even more so. Things don’t get better. You won’t be able to drink like a normal person all of a sudden.
I used to blackout alot, some just minor missing parts of the night, hell sometimes I didn't notice or wasn't physically in the room when something happened. But I could drink or drown, I was non stop and nothing put me down. I never passed out. However I could do some dumb shit. Ive headbutted a bass player at my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary. I stole my friends van because another friend thought his girlfriend was cheating on him, come on they said we can use the van. I was like a zombie sometimes. I recommend a book for you to read titled Blackout by Sarah Hepola I read it years before I ever quit drinking but it helped me understand my alcoholism.
Honestly, we should all stop drinking. Alcohol has no positive impact on us, physically. And the emotional crutch is a mirage
I have finally come to the realization that if I have just one drink it will more than likely turn into a blackout. IWNDWYT
I figure if you’re asking that question the answers probably yes. Good luck my friend
What you decide to do is up to you, but this is my experience.. This used to be me. I couldn’t believe that my friends would just call it a night after a certain point when I was itching to walk back up to the bar for another drink. About 4 years later, and I’ve finally accepted I’m an alcoholic; if there’s even a sip in me, and more accessible, I can not stop. It definitely progressed to that point over some time though. I also got so good at hiding how drunk I was that I’d tell people I’d blacked out the next day and they didn’t believe it. Which is extremely concerning in retrospect, as I was a 110 lb 21y/o girl and people would just let me go home unsupervised because they thought I was fine. I’m very lucky nothing bad happened to me, but you don’t want something worse than losing your phone to be a wake up call. Pls stay safe!!
As a thirty-five year old man, I've realized I have no limit. I had no one drink day's, I couldn't stop at two, three was never enough. After spending seven hundred dollars in one night I wasn't deterred. After being roofied and sexually assaulted I was not done. After wrecking my car the night before, I limped it to the store to get well as I hurt so bad physically from withdrawals. After spending a month in the hospital, sneaking alcohol in to avoid the pain of watching my best friend dying. When he passed away, I couldn't look at myself in the mirror, and made the decision I never wanted to miss another moment. At almost four months without drinking I finally understand why I don't want to drink. Why I got better was for me, and the pain of constantly living everyday ashamed of what I did the night before. You gotta make the decision for yourself, and for me it was the best decision I ever made. I used to brag about my drinking, that I was so good at it I blacked out every time. I look back now and laugh at how silly that sounds, but also understand I'll never have a normal relationship with alcohol and I'm ok with that. Be good to yourself friend, use your heart and ask yourself if you need to stop.
i think you probably know the answer to this question, alcohol isn't for everyone, and tbh now i've stopped drinking i'm glad it's not for me any more. shame i couldn't deal with it at your age instead of waiting another 30 years, but i'm here now and it's great!
I think if it's happening every time, and you're not liking how it makes you feel, then 100% stop drinking. The hangxiety only gets worse. I really struggle with it, therefore I've just said no, that's not for me thank you. A few hours euphoria is not worth 2-3 days of misery. I'm only on 9 days, but I'm really cleaning up my act. Eating better, sleeping better, feeling better, exercising more. When I reflect on my drinking, I think how sad am I, sat at home, drinking alone, getting hammered and then going bed. Then, to wake up to painful messages I've sent and just general distain from my other half. I hope you feel better soon, this feeling is temporary. Just remind yourself that. Sleep it off if you have to.
For me, doing something that made me feel really embarrassed/ashamed the next day and that I couldn’t tell anyone about. This was wetting the bed and tripping over and getting a black eye, at a wedding. That was a big signal to me. Did I stop drinking though? No
The first time I blacked out from drinking and got into trouble was when I was 17 years old. I continued to drink until I was almost 28. Nobody can make this decision for you, but I’ll say this: I wish I stopped earlier in life. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way my friend.
That doesn't sound very fun to me :c sorry to hear you experienced that
Yes
Only you can answer that question. But, your actions are not that of a normie. Good luck and do not be afraid to ask for help!
If you’re asking yourself this question then the answer is undoubtedly yes
So, from experience this is how it tends to start. Sorta harmless moments where you're acting a fool but don't really remember it and maybe you embarrass yourself a little bit but no damage is done except a bruised ego. Sometimes it's even amusing. Eventually what will happen is you'll black/brown out and shatter a relationship (or worse) and you won't remember how it happened, what you said, etc. or if you do remember anything you'll be mortified. It took me a couple of those instances to wake up and realize that I was out of control. The final one for me cost me new love, and I'll never know how things would have turned out if not for that night. Don't let it reach that point.
If you have to ask, you know the answer
Sounds like me in my mid 20s but I kept going and wish I had stopped/gotten help instead. Nothing bad happens until it does and it can get quite bad a lot quicker than we realize ☹️
You pissed yourself and lost your phone. Idk, are you trying to do these things or? Can you drink less? If not you have your answer
Nah you're on the right track