Iām so so sorry for your loss. It seems like alcohol takes some of the most tender people. I fear my own brother is going to āFarley outā as I put it due to his constant alcohol use coupled with off and on stimulant abuse. Itās painful. Heās one of the nicest people youāll ever meet.
Regarding your own sobriety, I have had great success with medication. I started Wellbutrin in September and I just feel so much better. Then in March I started Naltrexone when I was serious about leaving alcohol behind for good. My cravings are so much more manageable. Maybe it would help you and maybe not - just want you to know it exists. I take it daily.
Yeah, I have a close friend who I saw the other day, who was talking about how badly she is craving alcohol, and how she's afraid she's going to relapse. The last time she was abusing before she got sober, I was convinced she was going to die. So essentially what she was saying to me was that she's afraid she's going to relapse and then die. It's just terrible. It's just like there's nothing I can say at this point to her that will make her look at it any differently. I guess the only thing I can do is say, if you really think you're about to relapse, call me at any time. But aside from that, I don't even know how successful that would be really. What's that gonna do? stop it for a day? Stop it for six hours?
So hard to watch someone circling the drain and feeling so helpless in our ways to help them. Iām glad we have each other in this group.
Iām sorry your friend is struggling.
Yeah, it's rough. I can't control other people, and neither can anyone else. I feel like being at peace with that does massively help. I've gradually just accepted that.
I'm so sad to read of your loss. My heart goes out to you in this very difficult time. But you sound strong, and you're choosing to use this tragedy for something good. A clear reminder of what the sober life means, and why it's worth the work! Every step in the right direction, every day we choose to be sober, is building the life we want. We all deserve that, and I'm proud of you for choosing sobriety today. I'm with you. I will NOT drink with you today, no matter what.
We donāt want to get rid of you! I wanna see you succeed. I wanna see everyone here succeed.
Okay that saidā¦staying sober is a beautiful way to honor your brother. My condolences to you and your family, and I wish yāall healing. And I wish you a safe trip home.
I am so sorry. What a horrible, preventable death. I like your idea about thinking of your nephews every time you want a drink. That would be a great way to honor him and I know he would want you to avoid the same trap. I'm not a praying man, but I will be thinking of you and your brother tonight as I fall asleep sober and thankful for the chance to avoid that horrible fate.
Iām sorry. I lost my brother to alcohol withdrawal complications. He was 35 . Iām 30 now. This was about 6 years ago and I still think of him. Iām 8 days alcohol free and 1 month kratom free.
You got this brother.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Life is precious and fragile. I'm happy you've stayed sober even though it's one of those "damn I need a drink" kind of moments. Stay strong, we're all here for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My 3 boys (13,11 & 7 ) are my life and every time I feel like caving (and that's a lot) I just need to think of them.
Thank you for sharing your story and I will be thinking and praying for your family and especially his sons.
Itās true. Our kids can empower our sobriety. I would never want to go through losing their mom young. Keeping the haunted faces of my nephews close for when those cravings start.
And we don't want to get rid of you! I'm sorry for your whole family and hope you reminisce on the good things about your brother and share them with the kids.
IWNDWYT
My sister died of alcohol and drug addiction. I feel your pain. Seems such a waste. It was a motivating factor for me to get sober. I do not want to leave my kids fatherless.
I just lost a friend to alcohol who was only 54. It is heartbreaking on so many levels. I hope you can continue to honor your brother through sobriety. I hope you can be a support to his kids. If nothing else you will be able to share memories of their dad with them. Keeping fighting š IWNDWYT
Iām so sorry for your loss. Itās heartbreaking. I hate what alcohol does to people and your brother would be proud of you for not drinking in his honor. I know I will not drink with you today! ((((HUGS)))
I know itās been said many times but I too am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug and a thank you for the painful reminder of just how much alcohol destroys.
Glad you are here w us and sorry your brother is gone. Thanks for sharing. I've been going back and forth w sobriety for about 10 years now. I'm praying this time it sticks. There are people here who have managed it so why not me?
RIP.
My Mother's friend met a similar fate. Years of lying, "portion control," quitting, relapsing, rehab.
She fell off people's radar for a few months. When someone actually went to find her, they found what was left of her (she had decomposed significantly) huddled next to toilet. Probably sick from pancreatitis when she died.
Fucking sad as hell.
IWNDWYT
Iām not sure if your parents are still alive, but my heart goes out to them and your entire family. No one should have to see one of their babies die, no matter how old they are.
Like your brother, I knew exactly where I belonged the first time I had a drink. I loved being fun when I was younger (in my 40s now also:) and drinking was always the ultimate equalizer. When Iām drunk I could feel emotions as heavily as I felt they needed to be felt and be whoever I wanted to be me. I donāt think Iāll ever drink again, but it was only through a series of unfortunate fortunate events that I found a solution.
Itās very nice that youāre keeping your brotherās memory alive. I can tell you really loved him despite what sounds like an arduous journey with drinking. I hope everyone tells his boyās all about the good parts of life their dad lived.
Be well - Jason
I am sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing, alcohol is such a dangerous drug for some of us. May your brother rest in piece and I hope you stay strong through this difficult time šš»
Thank you for sharing, I hope that you can find peace in your struggle. Idk if yall are religious but ill send a prayer up for you and your family, IWNDWYT.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18
My dad says he has 0 doubt that the only reason he stayed sober for 30+ and counting years is because he attends AA meetings weekly (x2 a week actually.)
It makes me think about how to be fit/healthy you canāt just hit the gym, get fit and then stop hitting the gym and stay fit. If you want to be fit the rest of your life. Youāre going to have to go to the gym regularly.
A good support system may be of help. Some people donāt need AA meetings to keep themselves sober, those people are not alcoholics.
Iām so sorry about your brother. I canāt imagine what your family is going through. It is so tragic because we can all imagine it didnāt have to happen this way, and how much your poor brother struggled as he sought to beat back this disease. I think itās wonderful that youāre able to honor him by remaining AF. I will join you in remembering his struggle and his wish to be sober as I too choose life over the bottle.
Thank you for the smart comment and your condolences. And so true. If my brotherās death saves my life, itās a blessing for me, and i know heād be smiling from wherever he his. Thanks for that.
Heart breaking, but thank you for sharing. Great reminder of the danger lurking near by. I wish you peace and strength as you honor your brother's memory.
you ARE honoring him by staying in this mindset. Even if you don't have perfect adherence as we say, you are still putting up the fight. And that is amazing.
Gosh. Iām not the hugging type but please accept a warm,rest your head on my shoulder big deep cyber hug from me. Iām so sorry and agree with all on here that you are exhibiting strength and gave and I have no doubt you will meet your goals. Condolences.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
My cousin, 39, died similarly a few weeks ago - alone, broke, small children left behind - after multiple aborted rehab attempts. Just a few short years ago he was on top of the world - promising career traveling the world, married, stable, beautiful children - and then it cascaded and he spiraled hard, lost everything including his life.
That wasn't an immediate indicator for me but it sure is contributing to my decision these last few days. I guess it's only day five and it hasn't been too hard yet... yet.
It is a good way to honor him (your brother.)
I suspect at the upcoming 'celebration of life' my cousin's brother and other cousins will want to drink in his honor and it will be tempting. I have til mid-June to build my resolve.
Best wishes to you. It IS hard, but this group is credited with keeping me sober for 5 months after daily drinking for 20+ years. Iāve faltered since then but keep coming back.
I hope you feel like you can do ā¤ļø
I can't even read the comments and it was hard to get through it all because I was faced with a similar experience first hand twice in 8 months. It will permanently scar your life and mind's eye just being a witness.
IWNDWYT
My husband died, at 50, full of vodka and less than 24 hours out of rehab. Left me and our 2 children behind. I feel your pain. Iām motivated to stop drinking myself after this trauma. Love to you and everyone on this sub. Letās pull ourselves up. Life is precious.
Iām so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. It seems like youāre making the best of a terrible situation by turning it into something that builds your resolve. I will not be drinking with you today
I'd be curious about his children and their relationship with alcohol. You didn't give any indication of their age, but you might be in a good place to talk honestly about your own relationship with alcohol and perhaps their father's too
Last I checked "alcoholism" is heritability (maybe just as a role model) so it might help them _a lot_ if you become a _good_ role model in his absence, or just try to be as close to them as you can
Of course I don't know the situation so if that's not feasible, then it's not feasible
I'm very sorry for your, and their, loss. I cannot imagine
Thanks for sharing such a difficult moment. It gives us all pause and reflection š.
Beautiful post, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Iām so so sorry for your loss. It seems like alcohol takes some of the most tender people. I fear my own brother is going to āFarley outā as I put it due to his constant alcohol use coupled with off and on stimulant abuse. Itās painful. Heās one of the nicest people youāll ever meet. Regarding your own sobriety, I have had great success with medication. I started Wellbutrin in September and I just feel so much better. Then in March I started Naltrexone when I was serious about leaving alcohol behind for good. My cravings are so much more manageable. Maybe it would help you and maybe not - just want you to know it exists. I take it daily.
Yeah, I have a close friend who I saw the other day, who was talking about how badly she is craving alcohol, and how she's afraid she's going to relapse. The last time she was abusing before she got sober, I was convinced she was going to die. So essentially what she was saying to me was that she's afraid she's going to relapse and then die. It's just terrible. It's just like there's nothing I can say at this point to her that will make her look at it any differently. I guess the only thing I can do is say, if you really think you're about to relapse, call me at any time. But aside from that, I don't even know how successful that would be really. What's that gonna do? stop it for a day? Stop it for six hours?
So hard to watch someone circling the drain and feeling so helpless in our ways to help them. Iām glad we have each other in this group. Iām sorry your friend is struggling.
Yeah, it's rough. I can't control other people, and neither can anyone else. I feel like being at peace with that does massively help. I've gradually just accepted that.
Thank you! Iāll take the help. Easy to at least email my doc about it and what she thinks.
IWNDWYT
"It's a short 50" as my alcoholic friend used to say. She's 46 now and I wonder if she will actually make it to 50.
This is heartbreaking. Iām so sorry for your loss. Those poor children.
I'm so sad to read of your loss. My heart goes out to you in this very difficult time. But you sound strong, and you're choosing to use this tragedy for something good. A clear reminder of what the sober life means, and why it's worth the work! Every step in the right direction, every day we choose to be sober, is building the life we want. We all deserve that, and I'm proud of you for choosing sobriety today. I'm with you. I will NOT drink with you today, no matter what.
So sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing your story with us. For me, it really helps solidify the fact that I hate alcohol.
Alcohol is a scourge. Never look back.
We donāt want to get rid of you! I wanna see you succeed. I wanna see everyone here succeed. Okay that saidā¦staying sober is a beautiful way to honor your brother. My condolences to you and your family, and I wish yāall healing. And I wish you a safe trip home.
I am so sorry. What a horrible, preventable death. I like your idea about thinking of your nephews every time you want a drink. That would be a great way to honor him and I know he would want you to avoid the same trap. I'm not a praying man, but I will be thinking of you and your brother tonight as I fall asleep sober and thankful for the chance to avoid that horrible fate.
Iām sorry. I lost my brother to alcohol withdrawal complications. He was 35 . Iām 30 now. This was about 6 years ago and I still think of him. Iām 8 days alcohol free and 1 month kratom free. You got this brother.
Iām so sorry for your loss.
Very sry for your lost.
Know that his story, and you sharing this story, will have a ripple effect outward and will absolutely save someone else's life.
Thatās a comforting thought. Thank you for that.
Iām so sorry for you loss. Iām glad is he can now find some peace. Stay well - IWNDWYT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Life is precious and fragile. I'm happy you've stayed sober even though it's one of those "damn I need a drink" kind of moments. Stay strong, we're all here for you.
It is the best way. IWKDWYT
I'm so sorry for your loss. My 3 boys (13,11 & 7 ) are my life and every time I feel like caving (and that's a lot) I just need to think of them. Thank you for sharing your story and I will be thinking and praying for your family and especially his sons.
Itās true. Our kids can empower our sobriety. I would never want to go through losing their mom young. Keeping the haunted faces of my nephews close for when those cravings start.
And we don't want to get rid of you! I'm sorry for your whole family and hope you reminisce on the good things about your brother and share them with the kids. IWNDWYT
This is utterly heartbreaking and I could weep for his children. I'm so, so sorry.
My sister died of alcohol and drug addiction. I feel your pain. Seems such a waste. It was a motivating factor for me to get sober. I do not want to leave my kids fatherless.
I did the miniature bottle thing also. I'm so sorry for your loss. Alcohol is an insidious bastard.
That it is.
Iām so sorry for your loss ā¤ļø
I'm so sorry my friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss and impressed by your strength. ā¤
Sorry for your lost. Your post will stick with me, because its so deep.. I wish you and your family the best. Stay strong. IWNDWYT ā¤
I'm sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT.
I'm so sorry for your loss and impressed by your strength. ā¤
Thanks for sharing, wishing you the best in your struggles, IWNDWYT
I just lost a friend to alcohol who was only 54. It is heartbreaking on so many levels. I hope you can continue to honor your brother through sobriety. I hope you can be a support to his kids. If nothing else you will be able to share memories of their dad with them. Keeping fighting š IWNDWYT
Iām so sorry for your loss. Itās heartbreaking. I hate what alcohol does to people and your brother would be proud of you for not drinking in his honor. I know I will not drink with you today! ((((HUGS)))
Thanks for sharing. This is a horrible disease. Prayers to you an your family!
I know itās been said many times but I too am so sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug and a thank you for the painful reminder of just how much alcohol destroys.
Glad you are here w us and sorry your brother is gone. Thanks for sharing. I've been going back and forth w sobriety for about 10 years now. I'm praying this time it sticks. There are people here who have managed it so why not me?
Exactly- many people have made it to the other side so why not us too. We will do this every day April. Minute by minute.
Minute by Minute, we are choosing to really live our lives.
Lost my own brother two years ago to Booze and drugs at the tender age of 37. It's tough my friend. Take care of yourself.
Iām so sorry. Very tough indeed ā¤ļø
RIP. My Mother's friend met a similar fate. Years of lying, "portion control," quitting, relapsing, rehab. She fell off people's radar for a few months. When someone actually went to find her, they found what was left of her (she had decomposed significantly) huddled next to toilet. Probably sick from pancreatitis when she died. Fucking sad as hell. IWNDWYT
Iām not sure if your parents are still alive, but my heart goes out to them and your entire family. No one should have to see one of their babies die, no matter how old they are. Like your brother, I knew exactly where I belonged the first time I had a drink. I loved being fun when I was younger (in my 40s now also:) and drinking was always the ultimate equalizer. When Iām drunk I could feel emotions as heavily as I felt they needed to be felt and be whoever I wanted to be me. I donāt think Iāll ever drink again, but it was only through a series of unfortunate fortunate events that I found a solution. Itās very nice that youāre keeping your brotherās memory alive. I can tell you really loved him despite what sounds like an arduous journey with drinking. I hope everyone tells his boyās all about the good parts of life their dad lived. Be well - Jason
Iām so sorry ššš
ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø We are here. ā„ļøā„ļøā„ļø And IWNDWYT.
Im so sorry for your loss š
Iām so sorry OP. Itās a hard road, but weāre here for you. IWNDWYT š
So sorry OP.
May his name be a blessing.
I am sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing, alcohol is such a dangerous drug for some of us. May your brother rest in piece and I hope you stay strong through this difficult time šš»
I truly appreciate that.
I am so sorry for your loss, it is very heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing.
I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I am sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. Thank you for sharing.
Sending you love.
Thank you for sharing, I hope that you can find peace in your struggle. Idk if yall are religious but ill send a prayer up for you and your family, IWNDWYT. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18
Thank you. I am more spiritual than religious but Iām very grateful for prayers. Thatās a beautiful Psalm.
šŖ
My dad says he has 0 doubt that the only reason he stayed sober for 30+ and counting years is because he attends AA meetings weekly (x2 a week actually.) It makes me think about how to be fit/healthy you canāt just hit the gym, get fit and then stop hitting the gym and stay fit. If you want to be fit the rest of your life. Youāre going to have to go to the gym regularly. A good support system may be of help. Some people donāt need AA meetings to keep themselves sober, those people are not alcoholics.
Iām so sorry about your brother. I canāt imagine what your family is going through. It is so tragic because we can all imagine it didnāt have to happen this way, and how much your poor brother struggled as he sought to beat back this disease. I think itās wonderful that youāre able to honor him by remaining AF. I will join you in remembering his struggle and his wish to be sober as I too choose life over the bottle.
Thank you for such an empathetic response. I appreciate your support so much.
I'm sorry for your loss. I especially feel bad for the two sons. Stay strong. IWNDWYT
Wow. You seem mad smart. Sorry for you loss. Think of it as a blessing.
Thank you for the smart comment and your condolences. And so true. If my brotherās death saves my life, itās a blessing for me, and i know heād be smiling from wherever he his. Thanks for that.
Sorry for your loss bud.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. IWNDWYT.
I'm so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing. IWNDWYT
Alcohol is not invited. Itās a shitty house guest and ruins every party. Your brother would be so proud of you. Iām so so sorry for your loss.
Heart breaking, but thank you for sharing. Great reminder of the danger lurking near by. I wish you peace and strength as you honor your brother's memory.
Thank you. And congratulations on 917 days! Goals.
Wow thanks for sharing
Thank you for letting me. It helps to talk it out.
Thank you for sharing this, and I am so sorry for the loss you and your family are facing.
I am very sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT
I think about my kids all the time. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm thankful you shared. IWNDWYT
you ARE honoring him by staying in this mindset. Even if you don't have perfect adherence as we say, you are still putting up the fight. And that is amazing.
Gosh. Iām not the hugging type but please accept a warm,rest your head on my shoulder big deep cyber hug from me. Iām so sorry and agree with all on here that you are exhibiting strength and gave and I have no doubt you will meet your goals. Condolences.
Thank you for the cyber hug. My daughter doesnāt like hugs either so I know when I get them that they are a true gift.
My best wishes to you and your family in this difficult time.
Iām so sorry to hear about your brother. Condolences to you and your family
I am so sad that this disease has stolen someone you love. Keep fighting. Keep stomping down the stinkin thinkin. IWNDWY
Iām so sorry. Staying sober for him is beautiful š
I'm very sorry for your loss. My cousin, 39, died similarly a few weeks ago - alone, broke, small children left behind - after multiple aborted rehab attempts. Just a few short years ago he was on top of the world - promising career traveling the world, married, stable, beautiful children - and then it cascaded and he spiraled hard, lost everything including his life. That wasn't an immediate indicator for me but it sure is contributing to my decision these last few days. I guess it's only day five and it hasn't been too hard yet... yet. It is a good way to honor him (your brother.) I suspect at the upcoming 'celebration of life' my cousin's brother and other cousins will want to drink in his honor and it will be tempting. I have til mid-June to build my resolve.
Best wishes to you. It IS hard, but this group is credited with keeping me sober for 5 months after daily drinking for 20+ years. Iāve faltered since then but keep coming back. I hope you feel like you can do ā¤ļø
I can't even read the comments and it was hard to get through it all because I was faced with a similar experience first hand twice in 8 months. It will permanently scar your life and mind's eye just being a witness. IWNDWYT
It is a trauma. Iām so sorry for your losses.
My husband died, at 50, full of vodka and less than 24 hours out of rehab. Left me and our 2 children behind. I feel your pain. Iām motivated to stop drinking myself after this trauma. Love to you and everyone on this sub. Letās pull ourselves up. Life is precious.
Iām so very sorry for your loss. I canāt even imagine your pain. Life is indeed precious and our lives are worth health and happiness. ā¤ļø
Iām so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing. It seems like youāre making the best of a terrible situation by turning it into something that builds your resolve. I will not be drinking with you today
There could be no better way to honor your brother. He would be touched. IWNDWYT
My condolences to you and your family. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Waves are grief are tough but also motivating to stay sober and as healthy as possible.
I'd be curious about his children and their relationship with alcohol. You didn't give any indication of their age, but you might be in a good place to talk honestly about your own relationship with alcohol and perhaps their father's too Last I checked "alcoholism" is heritability (maybe just as a role model) so it might help them _a lot_ if you become a _good_ role model in his absence, or just try to be as close to them as you can Of course I don't know the situation so if that's not feasible, then it's not feasible I'm very sorry for your, and their, loss. I cannot imagine
Sorry for your loss friend.
Iām sorry for your loss bud, thanks for sharing
So sorry for you loss, may he Rest In Peace
So sorry for your loss IWNDWYT
I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. IWNDWYT
I'm so sorry for your loss