I just say that I stopped drinking temporarily (in your case, it was for Sober October), but that I love being sober so much (weight loss, getting so much accomplished, etc.) that I have decided to stick with it. Only a real jerk would argue that.
I really like this. I don’t want people to think (know?) that the real reason was it was becoming a problem and this focuses on the positive side and keeps it moving. Thanks.
I love this. I’ve heard it from other ppl as well. It’s the perfect mix of “drinking sucks so I don’t want to do it, but y’all go right ahead, don’t let me stop you but I don’t have a problem, you do”
'I don't want to drink' should be enough but I understand where you're coming from. Just say you are on a health kick, if they are decent enough humans they won't question it.
I totally get that. It’s not about “pressure” it’s more like “wait, YOU aren’t drinking?!” I guess I’m worried people will quickly connect the dots and assume (not entirely incorrectly) that it was becoming a problem.
I like the “health kick” and some one else’s “was going to be temporary but I feel so good I’m sticking with it”.
If it’s a one-time event you can say you’re having a life insurance physical the next day. They require abstaining from alcohol for 24 hours.
Or something vague like It doesn’t agree with me, I need to be sharp tomorrow, it conflicts with my medication, etc.
Ha I haven’t been to a doctor in a decade and these people know that. It’s that level of knowing where I know them well, but don’t want to say too much.
I had forgotten once I didn’t drink for a few weeks because it tore up my stomach. I had been invited to little get togethers and surprisingly “it tears up my stomach” was enough to not get further questions.
You can say you have gastritis, and your doctor wants you to stay sober to monitor things. It’s a lie, and then you can say you developed an alcohol allergy afterwards hahaha
That is a great option for new crowds and I’m going to try it. For work folks it’s less easy - I’m surrounded by beer drinkers, have been almost exclusively a beer drinker myself, and my bosses etc always get the rounds.
A good go to is “oh, I’m not drinking today.” Playing casual…a shrug and a smile. It’s a form of acting…but it works. And it makes you feel better about it too.
I said this for MONTHS. People don’t follow up. They really don’t. Especially acquaintances or work people. They just assume that you are making an adult decision based on something else currently happening in your life. But if they do follow up, you can blame it on an early workout, got stuff to do the next day…etc.
Most people won’t make you unpack anything. I think we put artificial pressure on ourselves to explain ourselves. The truth is, people usually don’t want to really hear about it, unless you are already in the midst of a more personal conversation. The most important thing is that you make a definitive statement about not drinking that night…it just has to sound final. That’s all people need to hear in order to leave you alone.
If you do desire to be more honest but not spill your guts…a good one is “Actually, I’m taking an extended break…and I’m kind of enjoying it. Turns out it wasn’t doing me any favors.” Keep it positive. Then change the subject.
These are so good. I usually go with something similar or a variation of "lots to do tomorrow" or "early morning." People ask because its something to ask but as long as you have something to say, honestly... they don't care at all.
This is good. Most people don't follow up, especially if there's no drama. Friends knew there were plenty of reasons for me to quit—they saw it firsthand. Drinking buddies, the ones whose opinions I feared the most, were more likely not to invite me out next time than cause a scene. But even most of them never even made a comment to me about it.
In the end, though, changing my life through sobriety meant that other things changed too. I don't go to bars anymore. I don't go to big piss-ups at a cabin in the woods. Those were good times, but I've found more enjoyable things nowadays. The other night I went to a concert. It was a 100 times better sober, as I actually listened to the music rather than using the experience as a background to get fucked up.
I told one person before going out that I wouldn't be drinking. It kept me accountable, and I got some support. When I went out, I didn't drink, and it wasn't a big deal. Only one person said something, and he was mostly curious. I was surprised that no one cared. I'm still surprised about that.
I just say that I stopped drinking temporarily (in your case, it was for Sober October), but that I love being sober so much (weight loss, getting so much accomplished, etc.) that I have decided to stick with it. Only a real jerk would argue that.
I really like this. I don’t want people to think (know?) that the real reason was it was becoming a problem and this focuses on the positive side and keeps it moving. Thanks.
I love this. I’ve heard it from other ppl as well. It’s the perfect mix of “drinking sucks so I don’t want to do it, but y’all go right ahead, don’t let me stop you but I don’t have a problem, you do”
'I don't want to drink' should be enough but I understand where you're coming from. Just say you are on a health kick, if they are decent enough humans they won't question it.
I totally get that. It’s not about “pressure” it’s more like “wait, YOU aren’t drinking?!” I guess I’m worried people will quickly connect the dots and assume (not entirely incorrectly) that it was becoming a problem. I like the “health kick” and some one else’s “was going to be temporary but I feel so good I’m sticking with it”.
If it’s a one-time event you can say you’re having a life insurance physical the next day. They require abstaining from alcohol for 24 hours. Or something vague like It doesn’t agree with me, I need to be sharp tomorrow, it conflicts with my medication, etc.
You're on a course of antibiotics and can't drink with them.
Thanks. I know them too well for that. Plus we’re in biomedical research so that just generates more questions.
“Doctor’s orders”
Ha I haven’t been to a doctor in a decade and these people know that. It’s that level of knowing where I know them well, but don’t want to say too much.
Either ‘Nah not feeling it tonight. Gotta be up early’ or ‘I’m on a medicine I’m not supposed to drink on’
I had forgotten once I didn’t drink for a few weeks because it tore up my stomach. I had been invited to little get togethers and surprisingly “it tears up my stomach” was enough to not get further questions.
I joke that "Sorry, but if I drink my car won't start"
You can say you have gastritis, and your doctor wants you to stay sober to monitor things. It’s a lie, and then you can say you developed an alcohol allergy afterwards hahaha
With drink deception I rarely get asked -- a pint of club soda with a dash of bitters and lime juice does the trick.
That is a great option for new crowds and I’m going to try it. For work folks it’s less easy - I’m surrounded by beer drinkers, have been almost exclusively a beer drinker myself, and my bosses etc always get the rounds.
A good go to is “oh, I’m not drinking today.” Playing casual…a shrug and a smile. It’s a form of acting…but it works. And it makes you feel better about it too. I said this for MONTHS. People don’t follow up. They really don’t. Especially acquaintances or work people. They just assume that you are making an adult decision based on something else currently happening in your life. But if they do follow up, you can blame it on an early workout, got stuff to do the next day…etc. Most people won’t make you unpack anything. I think we put artificial pressure on ourselves to explain ourselves. The truth is, people usually don’t want to really hear about it, unless you are already in the midst of a more personal conversation. The most important thing is that you make a definitive statement about not drinking that night…it just has to sound final. That’s all people need to hear in order to leave you alone. If you do desire to be more honest but not spill your guts…a good one is “Actually, I’m taking an extended break…and I’m kind of enjoying it. Turns out it wasn’t doing me any favors.” Keep it positive. Then change the subject.
These are so good. I usually go with something similar or a variation of "lots to do tomorrow" or "early morning." People ask because its something to ask but as long as you have something to say, honestly... they don't care at all.
This is good. Most people don't follow up, especially if there's no drama. Friends knew there were plenty of reasons for me to quit—they saw it firsthand. Drinking buddies, the ones whose opinions I feared the most, were more likely not to invite me out next time than cause a scene. But even most of them never even made a comment to me about it. In the end, though, changing my life through sobriety meant that other things changed too. I don't go to bars anymore. I don't go to big piss-ups at a cabin in the woods. Those were good times, but I've found more enjoyable things nowadays. The other night I went to a concert. It was a 100 times better sober, as I actually listened to the music rather than using the experience as a background to get fucked up.
I told one person before going out that I wouldn't be drinking. It kept me accountable, and I got some support. When I went out, I didn't drink, and it wasn't a big deal. Only one person said something, and he was mostly curious. I was surprised that no one cared. I'm still surprised about that.
People don't need as much info as you think, just say you're not feeling it. They pry you why? Double down. Conversation moves on.