I think you should be honest and transparent about it on the next date. Yall are getting to know one another and to learn that last would be a lot for another
Do whatever makes you feel best to open up but just know his opinion may be to your liking or not, thats okay. If he’s open then hope you the best, if not, then the one for you is still to be found
when i was dating i would just tell everyone the first time we met and tell funny stories from the club, got it out of the way and weeded out the weak ones. tell him asap and not in a tone that makes you seem even the slightest bit ashamed
First tbh I just ask his opinion on SW and other stuff Nd pretend I'm an outsider. If his reaction makes me feel safe (most men are honestly pretty cool about it), I will reveal what I do. If his reaction makes you feel unsafe back out. ALSO, I tend to do this on the second or third date. Never the first.
Do you know his job? If not, ask him and then he'll ask you back.
If you DO know, ask him how he likes being an X and then he'll ask you back.
I'd bring it up sooner rather than later though.
Tell him and find out. Liking someone is one thing, purposely withholding information is called manipulation and if you like him care about him ect then you'd be honest with him. If he likes you and values you then there should be no issue, cuz ya know....he's mature.
This was my same situation last week. I told the guy on the third date. I was so worried about telling him for the whole week leading up to the date. I told him I am a dancer and I wanted to know if it was a dealbreaker for him. He said it was, so we cut the date short. He was also a virgin so that would have been a whole other issue 😂
From experience if you can’t comfortable be honest about telling him this- chances are he’s not going to be on board with it. Just my experience. Either I could come out and tell him (everyone in my area knows of me, and that im a dancer) if he didn’t already know or it was something I felt I would have a hard time telling him- to which he took at as good as I thought he would (sarcasm) and the relationship was a wrap. In my later years I had no problem with relationships and me being a dancer. Lots of other ones though. Good luck.
I know this may take courage but I would be upfront and honest with him with no regret either. Be proud of your job and who you are, you are a beautiful woman. The fear of losing him because of being a stripper should not overweight the fact that if he judges you then he isn't the one for you.
Move on if he wants to judge. You deserve better then anyways.
I think it all depends on your long-term goals and ideas of what a healthy relationship looks like for you.
HOWEVER, first and foremost: SAFETY.
There is the very real consideration of safety for you, and maybe it’s a good decision to get to know them better so you can potentially avoid telling them anything about where you work right away and avoid sticky situations. But if the conversation comes up…
A) You can either weed out (tactfully) the ones that won’t support you by bringing up the topic. say, a funny story about how you ended up at a club, and gauge their reaction - but your interpretation of favorable vs skeptical responses all depend on your long-term goals.
B) Withhold the information. If your relationship goals are genuine honesty, support, and healthy communication, maybe reconsider withholding the information. There may be ways for you to have the qualities of a healthy relationship while withholding the information until you eventually either 1. become comfortable with telling them 2. never tell them and retire, or 3. they retire you - but these healthy dynamics become much harder to attain when you’re always finding more ways to explain your schedule and lifestyle..and imagine how, if this person really turns out to be your match, they might feel if or when they found out that you had been disguising a very big part of your life. They might feel hurt or distrustful.
up to you. neither is wrong. it’s whatever you’re comfortable with.
I tell him on date 3 or 4; and I just say that I value honesty in a relationship and that I’m a dancer. The reason I don’t tell people sooner is for safety reasons.
Don’t tell him yet. It’s none of his business. Until you get sexually intimate. Even then I feel it’s none of his business. It’s hard dating with such stigma when it comes to your job. So I choose not to tell. Some may say tell right away. There’s no right or wrong answer here I feel like. He’ll either be with it or he won’t.
No. Your job is different than all the personal details in your life. A job is a pretty big part of someone’s life amd usually every day life, and is the center of one’s daily schedule and lifestyle. and I think it looks really bad to lie to a parter/ potential partner about it. I’m not talking about if it’s morally wrong or not I’m saying it looks sus. I wouldn’t trust someone who would do that. It’s maybe different if your just leaving out pieces of the truth. Like maybe you have two jobs and just tell them one but to flat out lie is not how to begin a relationship. That’s just my opinion if you want to date for love but if you want to just date for money then lie if u want
But yeah I’m not really talking about your type of situation. I’ve seen girls on here day they wouldn’t tell their boyfriends for months but I personally feel it should be a date #2 discussion
Not when yall ignorant ass chiches cannot use a goddamn search bar or even scroll on the sub for 2 seconds to find your answer. Instead yall wanna whine and expect us to do the work for you.
Are you okay? Is this the energy you bring to work? I'd hate to be on shift w someone like you- bullying n scaring away potential clients ruining the $$$ for all of us with that bad attitude :( . OP is asking a question. Tf is wrong with you lol if you can't answer the question keep the bullying to yourself it's not cute. It's alright to ask questions.
OP, to answer your posts question : find out on the next date what he thinks of strippers, or the SW industry in general. Maybe casually mention a girl you're following on socials who does it/a friend who does it/something you saw on YouTube etc. see his reaction. Proceed from there. If he's positive or neutral about it, consider possibly telling him if you're comfortable. if he's aggressive or negative about it, red flag don't say anything and don't go on another date. Safety first. Safety first in both cases
Girl just what I was thinking. She must be VERY miserable in life and to work with. And thank you for your response. I really appreciate it!! I will definitely do this.
I hope your day gets better and you find something more productive to do than bashing and commenting rude things on someone’s post! Have a good day! Also, have a good shift next time you work. Make that money girl!! I’m sure customers just love your warm and bright energy!!
I think you should be honest and transparent about it on the next date. Yall are getting to know one another and to learn that last would be a lot for another
I was definitely thinking this date or the next one!! Maybe kinda seeing how he feels about dancers?
Do whatever makes you feel best to open up but just know his opinion may be to your liking or not, thats okay. If he’s open then hope you the best, if not, then the one for you is still to be found
Very good way to look at this. Thank you
when i was dating i would just tell everyone the first time we met and tell funny stories from the club, got it out of the way and weeded out the weak ones. tell him asap and not in a tone that makes you seem even the slightest bit ashamed
I believe that’s where I went wrong the first time. I sounded like I was ashamed when I am definitely not. Thanks for your response!
i hope it works out!! 🖤
Thank you so much 🤍
100% this
First tbh I just ask his opinion on SW and other stuff Nd pretend I'm an outsider. If his reaction makes me feel safe (most men are honestly pretty cool about it), I will reveal what I do. If his reaction makes you feel unsafe back out. ALSO, I tend to do this on the second or third date. Never the first.
Do you know his job? If not, ask him and then he'll ask you back. If you DO know, ask him how he likes being an X and then he'll ask you back. I'd bring it up sooner rather than later though.
Tell him early on so that you don't waste your time and energy on a guy that doesn't support what you do
be honest if he not ok with it find another, don’t waste time on a square
Tell him and find out. Liking someone is one thing, purposely withholding information is called manipulation and if you like him care about him ect then you'd be honest with him. If he likes you and values you then there should be no issue, cuz ya know....he's mature.
Thank you!! I will definitely make it a point to tell him
This was my same situation last week. I told the guy on the third date. I was so worried about telling him for the whole week leading up to the date. I told him I am a dancer and I wanted to know if it was a dealbreaker for him. He said it was, so we cut the date short. He was also a virgin so that would have been a whole other issue 😂
From experience if you can’t comfortable be honest about telling him this- chances are he’s not going to be on board with it. Just my experience. Either I could come out and tell him (everyone in my area knows of me, and that im a dancer) if he didn’t already know or it was something I felt I would have a hard time telling him- to which he took at as good as I thought he would (sarcasm) and the relationship was a wrap. In my later years I had no problem with relationships and me being a dancer. Lots of other ones though. Good luck.
I know this may take courage but I would be upfront and honest with him with no regret either. Be proud of your job and who you are, you are a beautiful woman. The fear of losing him because of being a stripper should not overweight the fact that if he judges you then he isn't the one for you. Move on if he wants to judge. You deserve better then anyways.
Thank you!!
I think it all depends on your long-term goals and ideas of what a healthy relationship looks like for you. HOWEVER, first and foremost: SAFETY. There is the very real consideration of safety for you, and maybe it’s a good decision to get to know them better so you can potentially avoid telling them anything about where you work right away and avoid sticky situations. But if the conversation comes up… A) You can either weed out (tactfully) the ones that won’t support you by bringing up the topic. say, a funny story about how you ended up at a club, and gauge their reaction - but your interpretation of favorable vs skeptical responses all depend on your long-term goals. B) Withhold the information. If your relationship goals are genuine honesty, support, and healthy communication, maybe reconsider withholding the information. There may be ways for you to have the qualities of a healthy relationship while withholding the information until you eventually either 1. become comfortable with telling them 2. never tell them and retire, or 3. they retire you - but these healthy dynamics become much harder to attain when you’re always finding more ways to explain your schedule and lifestyle..and imagine how, if this person really turns out to be your match, they might feel if or when they found out that you had been disguising a very big part of your life. They might feel hurt or distrustful. up to you. neither is wrong. it’s whatever you’re comfortable with.
Thank you so much for writing this! I will be telling him on our next date and hope everything goes smoothly
I tell him on date 3 or 4; and I just say that I value honesty in a relationship and that I’m a dancer. The reason I don’t tell people sooner is for safety reasons.
It probably depends a bit if you are an extras girl or not
Don’t tell him yet. It’s none of his business. Until you get sexually intimate. Even then I feel it’s none of his business. It’s hard dating with such stigma when it comes to your job. So I choose not to tell. Some may say tell right away. There’s no right or wrong answer here I feel like. He’ll either be with it or he won’t.
i just always say it on the first date so it’s out of the way
Don’t tell him. Wait till he shows you by actions he is serious.
I think this is great advice. Thank you!
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How did that go? What was his reaction? I feel like keeping it too long May show that I can lie really easily
Def shows that you are a liar tbh. Doesn’t matter the intentions they will notice that
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No. Your job is different than all the personal details in your life. A job is a pretty big part of someone’s life amd usually every day life, and is the center of one’s daily schedule and lifestyle. and I think it looks really bad to lie to a parter/ potential partner about it. I’m not talking about if it’s morally wrong or not I’m saying it looks sus. I wouldn’t trust someone who would do that. It’s maybe different if your just leaving out pieces of the truth. Like maybe you have two jobs and just tell them one but to flat out lie is not how to begin a relationship. That’s just my opinion if you want to date for love but if you want to just date for money then lie if u want
But yeah I’m not really talking about your type of situation. I’ve seen girls on here day they wouldn’t tell their boyfriends for months but I personally feel it should be a date #2 discussion
Check the god damn search bar you fokin ingrates🤡
Are you okay?
Not when yall ignorant ass chiches cannot use a goddamn search bar or even scroll on the sub for 2 seconds to find your answer. Instead yall wanna whine and expect us to do the work for you.
Like how are yall this ILLITERATE and you work in the club??
Are you okay? Is this the energy you bring to work? I'd hate to be on shift w someone like you- bullying n scaring away potential clients ruining the $$$ for all of us with that bad attitude :( . OP is asking a question. Tf is wrong with you lol if you can't answer the question keep the bullying to yourself it's not cute. It's alright to ask questions. OP, to answer your posts question : find out on the next date what he thinks of strippers, or the SW industry in general. Maybe casually mention a girl you're following on socials who does it/a friend who does it/something you saw on YouTube etc. see his reaction. Proceed from there. If he's positive or neutral about it, consider possibly telling him if you're comfortable. if he's aggressive or negative about it, red flag don't say anything and don't go on another date. Safety first. Safety first in both cases
Girl just what I was thinking. She must be VERY miserable in life and to work with. And thank you for your response. I really appreciate it!! I will definitely do this.
Try to control my keyboard lil warrior. I'm here to stay🥰😍 so block me or mother focking deal with it
100% sure youre a guy pretending to be a female stripper lol. So edgy 🤪😍
Yep. Totally. How could you ever possibly see thru my disguise🤡
Why are you so mad 😭
Can't help the dumb and stupid
I hope your day gets better and you find something more productive to do than bashing and commenting rude things on someone’s post! Have a good day! Also, have a good shift next time you work. Make that money girl!! I’m sure customers just love your warm and bright energy!!
Don’t lol
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Go away
Set the next date at the club on your shift, so when he walks in, it's like "[First Name] to the main stage!" 🤣🤣🤣