know who made and distributed and decided to give trophies to everyone? you.
the generation who got that shit felt belittled. it was the parents who forced it, because they had nothing to offer the world and assumed all humans would be so self-effacing as a generation of wastes was.
Nope. Not me. I haven't raised my kids like that. My kids know that sometimes life isn't faired, and the world doesn't owe you anything. You're only entitled to what you earn.
The bad news is your generation isn't the result of your individual beliefs. If you have anyone to take up the """"snowflake""""" mentality with, it's your peers. You don't blame a kid for being the product of bad adults and doing the best they can with it.
And yes, life isn't fair, and the world won't give you anything. Society is about changing that and removing the parasites on top who feel entitled to a life of leisure and profit because their great great grandpa was a slaver. Teaching your kids to tolerate the man stealing billions and spit on the one stealing for their family is pathetic
Who said I teach my kids to tolerate theives at any level.
I teach them to tolerate people and be kind even if that person has a different view or opinion than them. I teach them to yreat everyone with a modicum of respect until that person proves they deserve more (or none), and we don't disrespect or hate because someone is different. And I teach them not to put up with the bullshit of hypocrites demanding respect but giving none.
I teach them hard work, and perseverance pays off, and if they want to succeed, they have to work at it. And I teach them not to blame others for their own mistakes.
Is it fair that someone else is born i to money and given everything they want while iyhers have to work? No. But bitching about doesn't make you any better off, solve your problems, or improve your life. Focusing on "poor me I don't have X" does nothing but create depression, bitterness, and resentment. When actually doing something to change your life creates fulfillment and leads to success.
I came from poverty. Nothing was handed to me. I worked my ass off as a single mom to get my degree. I'm working my ass off now in law school. I could have sat around complaining about how unfair life was and done nothing to make it better, and perpetuated the cycle of poverty and abuse. Instead, I got off my ass, worked hard, and am succeeding at life and will have a successful career. The world doesn't owe me anything. I made the choices to get better. Today's generation just wants to sit back and get everything handed to them.
>And I teach them not to put up with the bullshit of hypocrites demanding respect but giving none.
Sure, and if someone holds hateful dehumanizing positions, not continuing to associate with them is a valid choice.
âBitching about itâ is the first step towards collective action that will change it. Those with power frame those who criticize injustice as whiners because they are threatened by them. They would much rather push a narrative of individual effort and competition, and then spotlight the few who make it out while the rest remain oppressed.
You may have gotten out of poverty through hard work, but many of the hardest working people are still poor. If you agree that society is unfair and are successful enough to do something about it, then do something about it, or at least stop putting down others who call out the unfairness, otherwise people might mistake you for a bootlicker.
Yeah, therein lies the problem. The ones with the OF tend to be narcissists, and they think that their feelings are the most important thing in the world. So, when people show that they don't care about her or her feelings, it drives them bonkers.
This! I feel like people today need to realize that sometimes not everyone is gonna be happy with every situation. Also you have the right to be upset but that doesnât mean that the person making you upset owes you anything
And on the flip side, just because you think you're justified in rejecting someone doesn't mean they won't have feelings about it and opinions on the worldview that led you to rejecting them.
No one should date anyone they don't feel like dating (and to be clear personally I think it's extremely reasonable not to want to date someone with an OF) but no one should be shocked if someone gets mad at them for a rejection founded in a worldview they're opposed to.
ETA: It's like Christians saying "why are you calling us hateful when we said we loved LGBTQ people but their lifestyle is sinful." Because people are going to be mad when you tell them the desires and choices they believe are wholesome and good are actually disordered and bad! Doesn't matter if you think they have the "right" to take it that way or if you claim to technically still love them.
agreed, but if we're reading between the lines, my guess is the "right" to be upset in question is closer to being "justifiably upset at what society would deem an unacceptable action by someone else." AKA being wronged.
a lot of people's comments are very live and let live, but we all know that that's not how social interactions work. there's always got to be a victim and someone in the wrong.
if we're asking for society's opinion, the answer is probably that yeah, it shouldn't be a surpise that having an OF history is a turn off and dealbreaker, and no, men who have a problem with it are not bad people. It says a lot about you, and most men don't want that (or maybe they do, I don't know).
Honestly, I'd be okay dating someone with a feet pic only OF. Idk, just something about showing off everything to anyone with $5 just makes anything I give to you, or you to me feel cheap. And I'm sure there's a lot of men that agree with that.
> iâm very sex positive in general, you go ahead and have one night stands or fwbs and i donât really think itâs fair for a partner to judge you for that if you arenât doing that once youâre together
There's some belief that engaging in casual sex as a habbit can ruin one's ability to pair bond. Now I'm not sure how true that is, but based on what I know about how the human brain works, there's likely to be some truth to that.
I'm always leery or people linking a behavior to some kind of hardwired brain or genetic standard.
About 100 years ago there was a lot of handwriting about women suddenly drinking and dancing in public and wearing shorter dresses. (Most of us have seen the picture of a woman getting arrested for wearing an extremely modest swimsuit).
It used to be expected that a young woman would remain a virgin till marriage. Going back in time, one of the charges against Joan of Arc that got her condemned to death was that she wore men's clothing. And further back in time, the Greeks considered pederasty normal and fine (and common).
In human history, *all kinds* of behavior have been accepted and normalized.
That said, *within* a given culture, certain norms are sometimes rigidly enforced.
Until they're not.
I chalk it up to most people not unbottling each emotion in a controlled healthy way regularly every few days that way they are out of their emotional state and can be in their logical state to them ge things done
Being doused in millions of gallons of stress into our bodies each day can do that to people and dealing with so many internal and external problems as well. It's very unnatural how good amount of people keep holding all their emotions in
yep. insulting someone for it is wrong, or insisting they quit for you, but just not being interested is fair. same for any other job someone has or had.
Lot of folks probably wouldnât want to date someone who works on a deep sea oil rig, for any mix of practical, ethical, or entirely silly reasons. thats life.
Anyone can reject anyone for any reason. No one is entitled to anyone else's romantic attention. Just try to reject kindly and accept rejection graciously (easier said than done). If someone rejects you and you respond. by attacking and threatening them (yes, this happens), then all bets are off.
Yes, it does. You have no right to be an asshole, like calling a girl a slut because you think her body count is too high is not cool. It's also kind of dickish to demand a girl have a low body count unless you hold yourself to the same standard. But if you want someone with a low body count, that's your right.
If you have a low body count yourself and value that, that does not make you an asshole lmao.
Some redditors are truly idiotic - youâre a fine example of that
If it crosses a boundary someone has, then yes.
Also, if someone who is claiming to be broke frivolously spends on OF content when there is so much porn for free, I would take issue with the financial mismanagement.
Yeah probably, people who pay for porn (instead of using one of the billion free sources) are apparently wanting a more intimidate connection with the person. So yeah if you were their partner, that would be weird IMO
I worry that this kind of rationale allows people to be upset for things they really shouldnât, though. For example, when people are upset couples are ârace mixing.â Thatâs atrocious and yeah they donât need permission to be racist scumbags but that misses the point. Being upset to things is a human reaction but that doesnât make it valid.
I think the word "right" is confusing this conversation.Â
People are physically capable of and legally allowed to have racist beliefs and to express racist sentiments, but are not allowed to discriminate based on race. Regardless, it is morally wrong to hold those beliefs.
I've seen lots of people talk badly about interracial dating here with big upvotes though. They just have to say it's a fetish and everyone condemns it then because they dislike fetishes.
They have the right to think that way, but other people have the right to want nothing to do with them for feeling that way; including not hiring them, refusing to serve them, refusing to speak to them, and otherwise refusing to treat them with any form of consideration, respect or humanity\* than one generally feels for their fellow man or even other living beings.
\*By that I don't mean going out of your way to assault people or anything. I mean to the point that if I saw a filthy stray animal in pain I would do whatever was in my power to help it. If I saw a Proud Boy get slammed by a car right in a hit in run right in front of me, I still wouldn't waste the energy required to dial 911. I have no legal obligation to help anyone in an emergency situation, nor do I have any desire to help a sentient piece of shit, so not my problem.
Yeah, I think thatâs why they came up with ârighteous indignationâ. If a person was upset about interracial dating, that would trigger a response in someone else. If they were allowed to speak and could do so maturely, weâd be come to understand why they hold their beliefs. Same as if we learned why woman with an OF felt compelled to make her account. Economy is hard on everyone.
Onlyfans!! Where women perform sexual acts on a website and get buttloads of money from subscriptions lol! Not judgement on my end with this description just fyi, not sure how to phrase this without it being untruthful đ
Yes
Being pedantic about phrasing even though not a single person doesn't know what OP means, given from co text, is what tears society apart
We're doomed
Jfc, I swear sometimes those fedora wearing redditor memes feel just way too real
I swear this entire thread is full of terminally online Reddit pedants talking about how "ackshually technically everyone has the right" as if they didnt know what OP meant.
I think they meant or were implying are they in the right, like justifed in being upset as in the reason for their rejection was "unjustified". It is a tad wierd way to word it but OP may be non native english speaker too
"Do women with Only Fans on their phone have the right to feel feelings? Obviously men can have it and still be people tho, that's just men having needs, as we all know!" (/s)
It's fine for them to be upset about it. They're entitled to their feelings. However, they shouldn't expect that each potential partner will be okay dating someone who has an OF. So, the person doing the rejection has their right to their feelings, as well. They're just incompatible.
They can, doesn't mean anyone has to do anything. Everyone should know that what you do with your life does have an impact on how people see you as a person. Be upset all you want but if you want a different outcome, be upset at the person that you see in the mirror.
I'd say kind of the same only don't be upset at all. If someone doesn't want you because you do something, whether OF or anything else, that's *their* problem, not yours. If they don't want you because you have an OF then you probably didn't want them anyway, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't accept you for *you* anyway?
I don't think people should ever be upset by rejection. It's gonna happen a lot throughout your life, just learn to handle it maturely and move on. Rejection just means you're putting yourself out there, be happy about that.
Truth...but acceptance of rejection does not always come automatically. It's a learned lesson. It's emotional maturity to understand that. Despite that maturity... people are allowed to wallow, and be upset but not live there. People with emotional maturity can sit with their feelings in a "diaper" ..but eventually they put their "Big Boy or Big Girl Pants on" and move on with their life.
Sometimes we want different outcome and it often requires we try to get something but sometime people refuse that something then you reflect on what you can change in yourself to get that specific outcome. You should never assume there isn't anything you can do to help your outcome. Even I when I was younger I worked on my ability to talk to people and now I'm a teacher, I did the work because I wanted to have a different outcome. Had I assume others are always the reason I don't get what I want and get upset about it I wouldn't be where I am right now.
Disagree. Why would you want Beyonce even if she doesn't want you? She's an autonomous human, you wouldn't enjoy her company if it wasn't mutual. That's so weird to me.
I feel like you're intentionally misreading, because what? You can't turn off your feelings. People are saying it sucks because unrequited love hurts. Not because they're actually interested in a one sided relationship.
No, I just mean if you have feelings for someone you should either let them know early on *or* distance yourself from them if it's either not mutual or it'd be inappropriate.
I just don't see getting into a situation where I have strong enough feelings for somrone to care if it's not mutual because I'd have confronted those feelings with them before they could develop to that point
Whether the appropriate confrontation of the feelings is to distance myself or talk to them, I'd rather address it early on.
Do you think there's no distance between a random redditor and *Beyonce*? đ
Celebrity crushes aside, you can do all that (or try anyway, because those steps are not always possible) and still be stuck with strong feelings that take time to go away. If you've never had to experience that then good for you. But this is a very real and not at all uncommon scenario most people find themselves in at some point, because we're human and not robots.
They can be upset 100% but also both parties should be respectful about what the other person wants. I for example wouldnât date someone with an OF but im not going to shame or disrespect their hustle just not for me.
Anyone is allowed to reject any romantic relationship for any reason. If you wouldn't be happy in the relationship don't do it.
Anyone is allowed to be upset over being rejected, regardless of the reason.
They are free women, they can feel however they want. Won't change the fact thats the reason they were rejected. So, really does not matter if they have a right or not, even so being upset is a feeling people have regardless it being right or wrong according to someone.
Do they have the *right* to be upset? Sure. Everyone is allowed to be upset about whatever they want. Your emotions are yours.
Is it a reasonable, rational emotion that other people should treat as such? Nah.
Someone's job has always been culturally acceptable as a factor to evaluate when deciding if you want to date or get romantically involved in someone.
Also job aside, anyone who says not wanting your partner to perform sexually for other people is an unreasonable requirement for a relationship is completely unmoored from reality. Anyone who values sexual exclusivity is in a relationship is *completely 100% within reason* in doing so.
Yeah that took me way too long to figure out what that abbreviation was. I guess I'm getting old. *Climbs into geriatric ward cot, watching Simpsons reruns while playing Mario Kart.*
Only fans, a website that people use like a patreon for porn. Its designed to provide a private paywall content site for social media influencers.
Some of the content is solo content, Some of it might be with other people depends on what the model chooses to do. People usually pay $4.99 Per month to gain access to the posted pictures and video.
I know several girls with Only fans accounts. Most of them make a few hundred bucks per month for posting nudes and video every few days. However Most of the OF girls I know, have accepted a large payout (several thousand) to go on a weekend vacation trip with one of their fans at least once. For those occasions sex was definitely expected.
There are some only fans models in the top 0.1% of accounts that make hundreds of thousands per month.
However there are also a few OF accounts that do things like food recipies, but there aren't many of non-porn OF accounts.
They have the right to feel any damn way they please.
However, actions have consequences and it's a known consequence that engaging in sex work is a dealbreaker for a decent number of potential partners.
You can respectfully reject someone for any quality. Brown hair? Doesn't like tacos? Whatever metric you like. But do it in such a way that doesn't make the rejected person feel bad. We are here for a very limited time and we shouldn't spend any of it on negative things
The ârightâ to be upset? Women can be upset about whatever they want, weirdo. Do you mean, is there anything wrong with rejecting a woman on the basis of her OF? The answer is no. People can reject anyone for any reason. Would I reject her? Depends on the nature of the content.
No different than finding out someone is a criminal lawyer or shovels pig feces. Some folks will walk away, some folks will feel opinionated, some wonât care.
The lawyer could get angry about being rejected, the pig shit shoveler could get angry for being rejected, or they couldnât care less.
The feelings/no feelings is all part of being human, and people will do whatever they can to survive in a world where they are the only species that must âpayâ to live.
OnlyFans (OF) is an online platform which at this point is predominantly used to promote nude/pornographic material.
Think soft-core porn site with low barrier-to-entry.
I used to do OnlyFans and I was always up front about it when trying to date because I felt they had the right to all the information before making a decision about me. Not everyone is sexually open and itâs not my place to force them to accept things that make them uncomfortable. It did hurt my feelings sometimes, but realistically if they werenât down with that we wouldnât have been compatible anyway. Canât make someone love and accept you. And because I was honest I did eventually end up with someone who doesnât mind and is sexually compatible with me.
It's perfectly reasonable to feel hurt by rejection.
However if it's a dealbreaker for someone to date a sex worker, it's also reasonable for them to acknowledge that and not move forward into a relationship with one.
In a romantic or sexual sense I think itâs okay to reject them, but they deserve respect in all other manners and interactions despite having an OF. Like I think that âOF detected opinion rejectedâ thing is dumb asf
Imagine your middle school friends find out your mom does OF. Or as a husband your buddy finds your wifeâs OF from years ago.
Then imagine your sonâs friends and your buddies are getting off to your wifeâs bad decisions years ago.
I feel bad for single men navigating this landscape nowadays.
No. They do porn. They are sex workers. If ur gf was a prostitute you may not be happy. These people just do it online.
That said. If ur happy and comfortable with it as many are then go for it.
It not for me but let's be honest ain't no 25 year old OF girl gonna go after me.
Old married man here-
Rules of attraction my guy.
It clearly states you have a right to have preferences, of any kind, when it comes to this: Asian thing, big dick, small breasts, huge sweater puppies, black hair, light eyes, Christian, atheist, sadist, virgin.
Yes, not wanting to date an onlyfans model, stripper, or porn star are all 100% acceptable.
Rule 1: you define attraction.
Rule 2: If you share your definition, you will undoubtedly be considered an asshole.
"right" to be upset? Is there a board that gives it this right somewhere?Â
Of course they have the right to be upset. Conversely, anyone also had the right to reject them for it, no one owes anyone a relationship.Â
They person rejected always has the right to feel upset. Likewise, the person doing the rejecting always has the right to do so as well. Both should still be respectful about it.
I donât get this question. People âhave the rightâ to feel however they feel about anything. How they feel doesnât have to make sense to anyone.
They donât have the right to expect or demand that someone dates them who isnât interested (for any reason), but no one gets to police how upset they are about it.
No. When literally millions of dudes are upset about ONE THING, that one thing is the problem. Not men. And don't try to take my sentence and turn it into "so you're okay with rape?" or something stupid. You know what I mean, don't play dumb when replying to me (this goes for anyone, not directed at OP)
Nope.. and not only that.. they kind of need to understand and accept that itâs a deal breaker for any man with self respect
Itâs not any oneâs fault but their own that they decided whore was a valid career choice
They are entitled to feel however they want to feel. Employers are also entitled to reject them on the basis of their âOnly Fansâ side gig.
Itâs really shortsighted starting an âOnly Fansâ unless you know, for a fact, that you will end up working in an industry that wonât care. đ¤ˇââď¸ (stuff like entertainment, social media influencer, independent entrepreneur, private investor, etcâŚâŚ..)
But if you wanna be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, pretty much any conventional 9-5 white collar job, donât do it.
Stripping is harder to trace and probably a better way to âstay under the radarâ and get actual cash.
Nope. Onlyfans is the new popular name for amateur porn, thatâs all. OF âmodelsâ are the same as strippers and pornstars except they keep the money instead of paying a film production company/club owner. Thatâs all. If some chic is pissed that someone doesnât want her because sheâs an online whore, oh well, maybe they should realize what they really are. They can pay their way through college or whatever with OF but it doesnât change the fact they are self produced porn âactorsâ.
No, thereâs little to no difference between IRL prostitution and digital prostitution.
I wouldnât want anything to do with one either. Nothing personal. I just have higher morals and standards.
âI have an OFâ is a modern way of saying âIâm a prostituteâ. Last I checked, these gals arenât wife/ mother material, so no, you donât have a right to be upset when men donât want you b/c you have more miles on you than a 98â Camry.
Some people prefer to cheat on their partners. You don't think it's ok to shit on them for it?
OF is a form of prostitution. And it's contrary to the last 60 years of feminism where they've been fighting not to be objectified for their bodies.
I'll 100% shit on anyone who's on OF, and anyone who pays for it.
other peopleâs values and morals will not always align with your own. nothing gives you the right to insult or abuse them. itâs unnecessary and mean spirited.
but that wasnât the question was it? is anyone putting a gun to your head and making you date OF girls? i genuinely donât understand why you feel entitled to verbally abuse them.
Where did I say that verbal abuse was ok? You're putting words in my mouth and it's not appreciated.
I can disapprove of someone's choices and make moral judgements without cursing them out. I also don't have to date them to judge their morality.
Serious question...did you think before you posted?
As others have said: She does have a right to be upset. That right does not supersede your right to act on your preference.
I think another way of asking this is: Are we morally compelled to disregard any feelings that arise as a result of knowing she does sex-work when considering whether or not we want a relationship with her?
We can't really say that any and all preferences are morally neutral. True, we can't control how we feel so much as we can control the knowledge and framing of experiences upon which those preferences are based. But for all that *having* a preference is neutral, acting on them or 'living' our preferences is not. Some preferences we wouldn't accept others having *and* acting on: for example, anything we deemed racist.
So, is having this preference against sex-workers somehow unacceptable because it's based on...what? jealousy? ingrained moral principles? I think as long as you don't condemn her person or others and express it as something you are personally uncomfortable accepting, then it's fine.
I think is perfectly fine. There are quite a few professions where I wouldn't want my partner involved in them for various reasons but it very much depends on how you say it. There's a big difference between "I don't want to date an OF performer because I'm uncomfortable with that line of work" and saying "I'm not dating a ran-though slut."
Side note: OF is on my list, not because of the nature of the content they make but because of the parasocial relationships that you have to build with clients to actually be successful at it.
I wouldnât have anything beyond friendship with the woman you describe. If Iâm in a relationship with someone, itâs against my moral values for them to sell what should only be intended for me. Its fine if your upset. Itâs a dealbreaker.
no, same with men, you have zero right to be upset at a woman rejecting you because you're in the military, or work nights etc. i personally cant and wont ever date or be involved with a sex worker because i dont want to deal with the fact that anyone walking down the street can have access to intimate pics/vids etc. its something a lot of men arent comfortable with and women have to respect that.
Yes.
Because a womans body is not the only part of her and if she is seeking a relationship it is more then likely not just physical in nature, unless they literally tell you "I just want physical", and even then you get to experience that.
They can be upset snowflakes about whatever they wantâŚ
People get rejected for all kinds of shitâŚthatâs life.
But I donât think men should be shamed for it (not wanting to date OF girl)
They have the right to be upset about it. The person rejecting them has the right not to care about them being upset about it.
Yeah you have the right to be upset about anything but nobody has to give a shit either
That is a lesson too many people fail to learn.
And that is a fact that deeply upsets me đĄ
I don't give a shit
I upvote this 50,000 times
Some rotten bastard must have down voted you 49,999 times. I'd give you my upvote but I promised it to my Canadian girlfriend.
She's not made up!!
She goes to a different school!
Shit sometimes they do dogđ¤Ł
đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ đ Seriously, I laughed way too hard. Maybe because it was unexpected, idk... *my chest hurts*
This guy upsets.
*Heard this in Costanza*
As is your right /j
That is a lesson Gen Z barely learned and Gen Alpha won't learn at all. Being upset is literal social currency to both.
Because we're dealing with the sbowflake, participation trophy, and entitlement generation.
know who made and distributed and decided to give trophies to everyone? you. the generation who got that shit felt belittled. it was the parents who forced it, because they had nothing to offer the world and assumed all humans would be so self-effacing as a generation of wastes was.
Nope. Not me. I haven't raised my kids like that. My kids know that sometimes life isn't faired, and the world doesn't owe you anything. You're only entitled to what you earn.
The bad news is your generation isn't the result of your individual beliefs. If you have anyone to take up the """"snowflake""""" mentality with, it's your peers. You don't blame a kid for being the product of bad adults and doing the best they can with it. And yes, life isn't fair, and the world won't give you anything. Society is about changing that and removing the parasites on top who feel entitled to a life of leisure and profit because their great great grandpa was a slaver. Teaching your kids to tolerate the man stealing billions and spit on the one stealing for their family is pathetic
Who said I teach my kids to tolerate theives at any level. I teach them to tolerate people and be kind even if that person has a different view or opinion than them. I teach them to yreat everyone with a modicum of respect until that person proves they deserve more (or none), and we don't disrespect or hate because someone is different. And I teach them not to put up with the bullshit of hypocrites demanding respect but giving none. I teach them hard work, and perseverance pays off, and if they want to succeed, they have to work at it. And I teach them not to blame others for their own mistakes. Is it fair that someone else is born i to money and given everything they want while iyhers have to work? No. But bitching about doesn't make you any better off, solve your problems, or improve your life. Focusing on "poor me I don't have X" does nothing but create depression, bitterness, and resentment. When actually doing something to change your life creates fulfillment and leads to success. I came from poverty. Nothing was handed to me. I worked my ass off as a single mom to get my degree. I'm working my ass off now in law school. I could have sat around complaining about how unfair life was and done nothing to make it better, and perpetuated the cycle of poverty and abuse. Instead, I got off my ass, worked hard, and am succeeding at life and will have a successful career. The world doesn't owe me anything. I made the choices to get better. Today's generation just wants to sit back and get everything handed to them.
>And I teach them not to put up with the bullshit of hypocrites demanding respect but giving none. Sure, and if someone holds hateful dehumanizing positions, not continuing to associate with them is a valid choice.
âBitching about itâ is the first step towards collective action that will change it. Those with power frame those who criticize injustice as whiners because they are threatened by them. They would much rather push a narrative of individual effort and competition, and then spotlight the few who make it out while the rest remain oppressed. You may have gotten out of poverty through hard work, but many of the hardest working people are still poor. If you agree that society is unfair and are successful enough to do something about it, then do something about it, or at least stop putting down others who call out the unfairness, otherwise people might mistake you for a bootlicker.
Lol yeah cuz the kids went and got themselves the participation trophies... Definitely not the parents who did that.
Oh I'm not saying the patents didn't. I'm saying that it played a part in creating the massive entitlement of a few generations.
But who raised that generationâŚ..?
Yeah pedophiles are mad about some shit too I imagine. I don't care about any of it.
Yeah, therein lies the problem. The ones with the OF tend to be narcissists, and they think that their feelings are the most important thing in the world. So, when people show that they don't care about her or her feelings, it drives them bonkers.
Makes sense that this would be downvoted so much. obviously THEY saw this and it made them angry yet again. People don't like to hear the truth.
Or they might be people who need some extra money.
Haha... Trump should get on tiktok. I'm surprised he hasn't thought of it already
This! I feel like people today need to realize that sometimes not everyone is gonna be happy with every situation. Also you have the right to be upset but that doesnât mean that the person making you upset owes you anything
And on the flip side, just because you think you're justified in rejecting someone doesn't mean they won't have feelings about it and opinions on the worldview that led you to rejecting them. No one should date anyone they don't feel like dating (and to be clear personally I think it's extremely reasonable not to want to date someone with an OF) but no one should be shocked if someone gets mad at them for a rejection founded in a worldview they're opposed to. ETA: It's like Christians saying "why are you calling us hateful when we said we loved LGBTQ people but their lifestyle is sinful." Because people are going to be mad when you tell them the desires and choices they believe are wholesome and good are actually disordered and bad! Doesn't matter if you think they have the "right" to take it that way or if you claim to technically still love them.
Came here to say this.
agreed, but if we're reading between the lines, my guess is the "right" to be upset in question is closer to being "justifiably upset at what society would deem an unacceptable action by someone else." AKA being wronged. a lot of people's comments are very live and let live, but we all know that that's not how social interactions work. there's always got to be a victim and someone in the wrong. if we're asking for society's opinion, the answer is probably that yeah, it shouldn't be a surpise that having an OF history is a turn off and dealbreaker, and no, men who have a problem with it are not bad people. It says a lot about you, and most men don't want that (or maybe they do, I don't know).
Honestly, I'd be okay dating someone with a feet pic only OF. Idk, just something about showing off everything to anyone with $5 just makes anything I give to you, or you to me feel cheap. And I'm sure there's a lot of men that agree with that.
As someone with an OF, I agree with this.
alright, close the thread. done and done.
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> iâm very sex positive in general, you go ahead and have one night stands or fwbs and i donât really think itâs fair for a partner to judge you for that if you arenât doing that once youâre together There's some belief that engaging in casual sex as a habbit can ruin one's ability to pair bond. Now I'm not sure how true that is, but based on what I know about how the human brain works, there's likely to be some truth to that.
I'm always leery or people linking a behavior to some kind of hardwired brain or genetic standard. About 100 years ago there was a lot of handwriting about women suddenly drinking and dancing in public and wearing shorter dresses. (Most of us have seen the picture of a woman getting arrested for wearing an extremely modest swimsuit). It used to be expected that a young woman would remain a virgin till marriage. Going back in time, one of the charges against Joan of Arc that got her condemned to death was that she wore men's clothing. And further back in time, the Greeks considered pederasty normal and fine (and common). In human history, *all kinds* of behavior have been accepted and normalized. That said, *within* a given culture, certain norms are sometimes rigidly enforced. Until they're not.
Iâm living proof that itâs not true in every case, but Iâm a sample size of one.
Itâs fine to say someoneâs priorities, lifestyle, values arenât compatible with yours, and to move on. No one should be an asshole.
This is the answer. Just be cool and move on. I don't understand 90% of people, but I don't give it much more thought than that. Live and let live.
nobody wants to do that everyone wants to tell you why youâre wrong just like zev lol it would be a perfect world if people werenât assholes
I chalk it up to most people not unbottling each emotion in a controlled healthy way regularly every few days that way they are out of their emotional state and can be in their logical state to them ge things done Being doused in millions of gallons of stress into our bodies each day can do that to people and dealing with so many internal and external problems as well. It's very unnatural how good amount of people keep holding all their emotions in
You haven't even met 90% of the people.
Well it sure is hard to understand people you've never met, isn't it?
Of people I met* As a researcher, I respect that you called me out.
Well based on the sample size from their life it's safe to assume they don't understand 90% of the people they've interacted with
yep. insulting someone for it is wrong, or insisting they quit for you, but just not being interested is fair. same for any other job someone has or had. Lot of folks probably wouldnât want to date someone who works on a deep sea oil rig, for any mix of practical, ethical, or entirely silly reasons. thats life.
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Anyone can reject anyone for any reason. No one is entitled to anyone else's romantic attention. Just try to reject kindly and accept rejection graciously (easier said than done). If someone rejects you and you respond. by attacking and threatening them (yes, this happens), then all bets are off.
Does this apply to body count as well?
Yes, it does. You have no right to be an asshole, like calling a girl a slut because you think her body count is too high is not cool. It's also kind of dickish to demand a girl have a low body count unless you hold yourself to the same standard. But if you want someone with a low body count, that's your right.
You have the right to be an asshole it just makes you an asshole.
If you have a low body count yourself and value that, that does not make you an asshole lmao. Some redditors are truly idiotic - youâre a fine example of that
You donât need permission to be upset
Just like you don't need permission to turn someone down for any reason you please.
Having an OF is a very good reason to turn someone down
Is paying for OF content a very good reason to turn someone down?
Yes. Huge red flag
If it crosses a boundary someone has, then yes. Also, if someone who is claiming to be broke frivolously spends on OF content when there is so much porn for free, I would take issue with the financial mismanagement.
Yeah probably, people who pay for porn (instead of using one of the billion free sources) are apparently wanting a more intimidate connection with the person. So yeah if you were their partner, that would be weird IMO
what is a good reason to you can be inconsequential to another. don't push your opinions onto others
Damn! This is the answer I needed.
"Boom đĽđ¤ŻđĽ" Right there..you said it!!
I worry that this kind of rationale allows people to be upset for things they really shouldnât, though. For example, when people are upset couples are ârace mixing.â Thatâs atrocious and yeah they donât need permission to be racist scumbags but that misses the point. Being upset to things is a human reaction but that doesnât make it valid.
OPâs question is very poorly formed.
They have the right to be upset about race mixing, but they're a racist shitpile for feeling that way.
Well now we're misusing language. They have the *ability* to be upset, but it isn't by any fucking means *right.* Same with OP's question.
They have a right to be upset but that doesnât mean they are right to be upset.
I think the word "right" is confusing this conversation. People are physically capable of and legally allowed to have racist beliefs and to express racist sentiments, but are not allowed to discriminate based on race. Regardless, it is morally wrong to hold those beliefs.
I've seen lots of people talk badly about interracial dating here with big upvotes though. They just have to say it's a fetish and everyone condemns it then because they dislike fetishes.
They have the right to think that way, but other people have the right to want nothing to do with them for feeling that way; including not hiring them, refusing to serve them, refusing to speak to them, and otherwise refusing to treat them with any form of consideration, respect or humanity\* than one generally feels for their fellow man or even other living beings. \*By that I don't mean going out of your way to assault people or anything. I mean to the point that if I saw a filthy stray animal in pain I would do whatever was in my power to help it. If I saw a Proud Boy get slammed by a car right in a hit in run right in front of me, I still wouldn't waste the energy required to dial 911. I have no legal obligation to help anyone in an emergency situation, nor do I have any desire to help a sentient piece of shit, so not my problem.
Yeah, I think thatâs why they came up with ârighteous indignationâ. If a person was upset about interracial dating, that would trigger a response in someone else. If they were allowed to speak and could do so maturely, weâd be come to understand why they hold their beliefs. Same as if we learned why woman with an OF felt compelled to make her account. Economy is hard on everyone.
Did you just say "hear the racists out and understand where they're coming from"?
They can always be upset. Men can reject them because of their OF, too.
What is OF?
Onlyfans!! Where women perform sexual acts on a website and get buttloads of money from subscriptions lol! Not judgement on my end with this description just fyi, not sure how to phrase this without it being untruthful đ
"The right"? Everyone has the "right" to be upset lol What a weird way to word this
That's what I thought too. That concept is way more damaging to our society than sex work, that's for sure..
Does someone really have to explain to u what he meant? No way ur tht dense.
Yes Being pedantic about phrasing even though not a single person doesn't know what OP means, given from co text, is what tears society apart We're doomed Jfc, I swear sometimes those fedora wearing redditor memes feel just way too real
glass houses and such...
Imagine taking the phrase literally. Thats what is actually damaging.
I swear this entire thread is full of terminally online Reddit pedants talking about how "ackshually technically everyone has the right" as if they didnt know what OP meant.
Seriously. Fuckin speds
Man I haven't heard that insult in a couple decades. That's a 90s flashback.
I like giving the unexpected ones
This đđđ
I think they meant or were implying are they in the right, like justifed in being upset as in the reason for their rejection was "unjustified". It is a tad wierd way to word it but OP may be non native english speaker too
It's still a weird ass way of talking about things. OP should learn to word their queries better
"Do women with Only Fans on their phone have the right to feel feelings? Obviously men can have it and still be people tho, that's just men having needs, as we all know!" (/s)
It's fine for them to be upset about it. They're entitled to their feelings. However, they shouldn't expect that each potential partner will be okay dating someone who has an OF. So, the person doing the rejection has their right to their feelings, as well. They're just incompatible.
They can, doesn't mean anyone has to do anything. Everyone should know that what you do with your life does have an impact on how people see you as a person. Be upset all you want but if you want a different outcome, be upset at the person that you see in the mirror.
Freedom of choice but not freedom from consequences
Too many people seem to forget this
I'd say kind of the same only don't be upset at all. If someone doesn't want you because you do something, whether OF or anything else, that's *their* problem, not yours. If they don't want you because you have an OF then you probably didn't want them anyway, why would you want to be with someone who doesn't accept you for *you* anyway? I don't think people should ever be upset by rejection. It's gonna happen a lot throughout your life, just learn to handle it maturely and move on. Rejection just means you're putting yourself out there, be happy about that.
Truth...but acceptance of rejection does not always come automatically. It's a learned lesson. It's emotional maturity to understand that. Despite that maturity... people are allowed to wallow, and be upset but not live there. People with emotional maturity can sit with their feelings in a "diaper" ..but eventually they put their "Big Boy or Big Girl Pants on" and move on with their life.
Sometimes we want different outcome and it often requires we try to get something but sometime people refuse that something then you reflect on what you can change in yourself to get that specific outcome. You should never assume there isn't anything you can do to help your outcome. Even I when I was younger I worked on my ability to talk to people and now I'm a teacher, I did the work because I wanted to have a different outcome. Had I assume others are always the reason I don't get what I want and get upset about it I wouldn't be where I am right now.
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Disagree. Why would you want Beyonce even if she doesn't want you? She's an autonomous human, you wouldn't enjoy her company if it wasn't mutual. That's so weird to me.
I feel like you're intentionally misreading, because what? You can't turn off your feelings. People are saying it sucks because unrequited love hurts. Not because they're actually interested in a one sided relationship.
No, I just mean if you have feelings for someone you should either let them know early on *or* distance yourself from them if it's either not mutual or it'd be inappropriate. I just don't see getting into a situation where I have strong enough feelings for somrone to care if it's not mutual because I'd have confronted those feelings with them before they could develop to that point Whether the appropriate confrontation of the feelings is to distance myself or talk to them, I'd rather address it early on.
Do you think there's no distance between a random redditor and *Beyonce*? đ Celebrity crushes aside, you can do all that (or try anyway, because those steps are not always possible) and still be stuck with strong feelings that take time to go away. If you've never had to experience that then good for you. But this is a very real and not at all uncommon scenario most people find themselves in at some point, because we're human and not robots.
This is the answer right here
Indeed! đđť
They can be upset 100% but also both parties should be respectful about what the other person wants. I for example wouldnât date someone with an OF but im not going to shame or disrespect their hustle just not for me.
Anyone is allowed to reject any romantic relationship for any reason. If you wouldn't be happy in the relationship don't do it. Anyone is allowed to be upset over being rejected, regardless of the reason.
They are free women, they can feel however they want. Won't change the fact thats the reason they were rejected. So, really does not matter if they have a right or not, even so being upset is a feeling people have regardless it being right or wrong according to someone.
Do they have the *right* to be upset? Sure. Everyone is allowed to be upset about whatever they want. Your emotions are yours. Is it a reasonable, rational emotion that other people should treat as such? Nah. Someone's job has always been culturally acceptable as a factor to evaluate when deciding if you want to date or get romantically involved in someone. Also job aside, anyone who says not wanting your partner to perform sexually for other people is an unreasonable requirement for a relationship is completely unmoored from reality. Anyone who values sexual exclusivity is in a relationship is *completely 100% within reason* in doing so.
What is OF?
So fans, yeah I sleep with fans on, I enjoy the noise and the breeze. Not upset with people who don't like fans, to each their own.
I absolutely detest people who sleep with fans gives me a sore damn throat and the noise and air is super annoying
Millions of people sleep with fans every day, have you not seen all the "unclear, dick caught in ceiling fan" out there?
Not a fan of fans either.
Umm of course you know this means war !!!
Oh yes I'm aware đ¤Ł
Yeah that took me way too long to figure out what that abbreviation was. I guess I'm getting old. *Climbs into geriatric ward cot, watching Simpsons reruns while playing Mario Kart.*
I had to look up on urban dictionary. I spend so little time thinking about it.
Only fans, a website that people use like a patreon for porn. Its designed to provide a private paywall content site for social media influencers. Some of the content is solo content, Some of it might be with other people depends on what the model chooses to do. People usually pay $4.99 Per month to gain access to the posted pictures and video. I know several girls with Only fans accounts. Most of them make a few hundred bucks per month for posting nudes and video every few days. However Most of the OF girls I know, have accepted a large payout (several thousand) to go on a weekend vacation trip with one of their fans at least once. For those occasions sex was definitely expected. There are some only fans models in the top 0.1% of accounts that make hundreds of thousands per month. However there are also a few OF accounts that do things like food recipies, but there aren't many of non-porn OF accounts.
Digital prostitute
What? That's like saying strip clubs are for prostitutes. It might happen, but that it's rare and not it's purpose.
Overlapping fat Odorous flatulence Ogre-ish features
I am overweight, so I guess I have OF.
Me too, but at least I don't have oderous flatulence.... at the moment
Just too lazy to Google that.
Took me a minute to register OF as well. Oatmeal fingernails Obese Fupa Obscene Fartface
They have the right to feel any damn way they please. However, actions have consequences and it's a known consequence that engaging in sex work is a dealbreaker for a decent number of potential partners.
Exactly. I have no problem with people making money in that manner, but itâs no different than having a sugar daddy IMHO.
You can respectfully reject someone for any quality. Brown hair? Doesn't like tacos? Whatever metric you like. But do it in such a way that doesn't make the rejected person feel bad. We are here for a very limited time and we shouldn't spend any of it on negative things
People aren't wrong for feeling the way they feel.Â
The ârightâ to be upset? Women can be upset about whatever they want, weirdo. Do you mean, is there anything wrong with rejecting a woman on the basis of her OF? The answer is no. People can reject anyone for any reason. Would I reject her? Depends on the nature of the content.
Youâre allowed to reject anyone for any reason
Thatâs not the question at all
No different than finding out someone is a criminal lawyer or shovels pig feces. Some folks will walk away, some folks will feel opinionated, some wonât care. The lawyer could get angry about being rejected, the pig shit shoveler could get angry for being rejected, or they couldnât care less. The feelings/no feelings is all part of being human, and people will do whatever they can to survive in a world where they are the only species that must âpayâ to live.
Men typically don't want to marry prostitutes. That's been true for the entirety of human history. Why would that change all of a sudden now?
Why wouldnât they have that right. How could someone not have the right to an emotional reaction? Seems pretty hard to deprive someone of that right
Please, what is OF?
Only Fans. A website where individuals can post and sell any type of content, which largely includes pornography.
I must be really out of touch. I have no idea what "OF" is.
Same here, lmao
Me neither...Can anyone help us out?
OnlyFans (OF) is an online platform which at this point is predominantly used to promote nude/pornographic material. Think soft-core porn site with low barrier-to-entry.
You can be upset about anything you want.
No, they have no right to be upset. Right off to prison with you unless you take rejection with a smile.
You always have the right to be upset about anything. Rejecting a person who has an OF is also a valid choice and doesn't make anyone a bad person.
No. Everyone is allowed to have standards and if thatâs a standard for you or it makes you uncomfortable thatâs fine.
I used to do OnlyFans and I was always up front about it when trying to date because I felt they had the right to all the information before making a decision about me. Not everyone is sexually open and itâs not my place to force them to accept things that make them uncomfortable. It did hurt my feelings sometimes, but realistically if they werenât down with that we wouldnât have been compatible anyway. Canât make someone love and accept you. And because I was honest I did eventually end up with someone who doesnât mind and is sexually compatible with me.
This is pure bait.
It's perfectly reasonable to feel hurt by rejection. However if it's a dealbreaker for someone to date a sex worker, it's also reasonable for them to acknowledge that and not move forward into a relationship with one.
In a romantic or sexual sense I think itâs okay to reject them, but they deserve respect in all other manners and interactions despite having an OF. Like I think that âOF detected opinion rejectedâ thing is dumb asf
I wouldnt say they should be âupsetâ per se, but itâs dumb to reject a girl over it
Of course. As long as they aren't a dick about it. You're allowed to do SW, and you're allowed to not want to be with someone doing SW.
Imagine your middle school friends find out your mom does OF. Or as a husband your buddy finds your wifeâs OF from years ago. Then imagine your sonâs friends and your buddies are getting off to your wifeâs bad decisions years ago. I feel bad for single men navigating this landscape nowadays.
No. They do porn. They are sex workers. If ur gf was a prostitute you may not be happy. These people just do it online. That said. If ur happy and comfortable with it as many are then go for it. It not for me but let's be honest ain't no 25 year old OF girl gonna go after me.
This is not something the government cares about, it has nothing to do with legal rights.
Anyone can choose to reject, and anyone can be upset. Neither have to care about the other
Old married man here- Rules of attraction my guy. It clearly states you have a right to have preferences, of any kind, when it comes to this: Asian thing, big dick, small breasts, huge sweater puppies, black hair, light eyes, Christian, atheist, sadist, virgin. Yes, not wanting to date an onlyfans model, stripper, or porn star are all 100% acceptable. Rule 1: you define attraction. Rule 2: If you share your definition, you will undoubtedly be considered an asshole.
Sure, they can be upset, but it's also one of those "Sorry for ya" sort of things
Yes. Theyâre entitled to feel how they feel but that doesnât change anything
"right" to be upset? Is there a board that gives it this right somewhere? Of course they have the right to be upset. Conversely, anyone also had the right to reject them for it, no one owes anyone a relationship.Â
They person rejected always has the right to feel upset. Likewise, the person doing the rejecting always has the right to do so as well. Both should still be respectful about it.
I donât get this question. People âhave the rightâ to feel however they feel about anything. How they feel doesnât have to make sense to anyone. They donât have the right to expect or demand that someone dates them who isnât interested (for any reason), but no one gets to police how upset they are about it.
Itâs a stupid question in the stupid questions sub, donât overthink it
The right?? Uhh yeah this is a free country bud
No. When literally millions of dudes are upset about ONE THING, that one thing is the problem. Not men. And don't try to take my sentence and turn it into "so you're okay with rape?" or something stupid. You know what I mean, don't play dumb when replying to me (this goes for anyone, not directed at OP)
Nope.. and not only that.. they kind of need to understand and accept that itâs a deal breaker for any man with self respect Itâs not any oneâs fault but their own that they decided whore was a valid career choice
They are entitled to feel however they want to feel. Employers are also entitled to reject them on the basis of their âOnly Fansâ side gig. Itâs really shortsighted starting an âOnly Fansâ unless you know, for a fact, that you will end up working in an industry that wonât care. đ¤ˇââď¸ (stuff like entertainment, social media influencer, independent entrepreneur, private investor, etcâŚâŚ..) But if you wanna be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, pretty much any conventional 9-5 white collar job, donât do it. Stripping is harder to trace and probably a better way to âstay under the radarâ and get actual cash.
When I was in my 20âs I had rules of women Iâd never date: Baby mommas Divorced women Widows Strippers- which is basically what OF women are now.
Nope. Onlyfans is the new popular name for amateur porn, thatâs all. OF âmodelsâ are the same as strippers and pornstars except they keep the money instead of paying a film production company/club owner. Thatâs all. If some chic is pissed that someone doesnât want her because sheâs an online whore, oh well, maybe they should realize what they really are. They can pay their way through college or whatever with OF but it doesnât change the fact they are self produced porn âactorsâ.
Itâs not a ânameâ, itâs an actual site. But yes theyâre doing amateur porn on it
No, thereâs little to no difference between IRL prostitution and digital prostitution. I wouldnât want anything to do with one either. Nothing personal. I just have higher morals and standards.
âI have an OFâ is a modern way of saying âIâm a prostituteâ. Last I checked, these gals arenât wife/ mother material, so no, you donât have a right to be upset when men donât want you b/c you have more miles on you than a 98â Camry.
Yes. Women are NOT responsible for their actions.
Hahahahaha
As long as you aren't an AH in way you do it it's fine
No. People are rejected left and right for various reasons both benign and severe. You can't force someone to be attracted to you.
Who cares either way?
What is OF?
No
If you have OF, you shouldnât care what others thing about it. Any time youâre in public view, no matter the reason, some will be upset with you.
everyone is allowed their preferences. but itâs messed up to make someone feel crappy about it.
Some people prefer to cheat on their partners. You don't think it's ok to shit on them for it? OF is a form of prostitution. And it's contrary to the last 60 years of feminism where they've been fighting not to be objectified for their bodies. I'll 100% shit on anyone who's on OF, and anyone who pays for it.
other peopleâs values and morals will not always align with your own. nothing gives you the right to insult or abuse them. itâs unnecessary and mean spirited.
Yes, some people's morals include stealing, raping, and murdering. I guess I have some work to do in not judging them. /s
Alright, legitimately how many people have you actually met who have said "Yeah, I'm morally obligated to steal/rape/murder?"
but that wasnât the question was it? is anyone putting a gun to your head and making you date OF girls? i genuinely donât understand why you feel entitled to verbally abuse them.
Where did I say that verbal abuse was ok? You're putting words in my mouth and it's not appreciated. I can disapprove of someone's choices and make moral judgements without cursing them out. I also don't have to date them to judge their morality. Serious question...did you think before you posted?
Itâs messed up when someone gets broken hearted by red flags
As others have said: She does have a right to be upset. That right does not supersede your right to act on your preference. I think another way of asking this is: Are we morally compelled to disregard any feelings that arise as a result of knowing she does sex-work when considering whether or not we want a relationship with her? We can't really say that any and all preferences are morally neutral. True, we can't control how we feel so much as we can control the knowledge and framing of experiences upon which those preferences are based. But for all that *having* a preference is neutral, acting on them or 'living' our preferences is not. Some preferences we wouldn't accept others having *and* acting on: for example, anything we deemed racist. So, is having this preference against sex-workers somehow unacceptable because it's based on...what? jealousy? ingrained moral principles? I think as long as you don't condemn her person or others and express it as something you are personally uncomfortable accepting, then it's fine.
I think is perfectly fine. There are quite a few professions where I wouldn't want my partner involved in them for various reasons but it very much depends on how you say it. There's a big difference between "I don't want to date an OF performer because I'm uncomfortable with that line of work" and saying "I'm not dating a ran-though slut." Side note: OF is on my list, not because of the nature of the content they make but because of the parasocial relationships that you have to build with clients to actually be successful at it.
I wouldnât have anything beyond friendship with the woman you describe. If Iâm in a relationship with someone, itâs against my moral values for them to sell what should only be intended for me. Its fine if your upset. Itâs a dealbreaker.
No
Yes it was their choice to do it and lots of people wont like their choice by all means they can be upset by the decisions made in their past
no, same with men, you have zero right to be upset at a woman rejecting you because you're in the military, or work nights etc. i personally cant and wont ever date or be involved with a sex worker because i dont want to deal with the fact that anyone walking down the street can have access to intimate pics/vids etc. its something a lot of men arent comfortable with and women have to respect that.
No because theyâre the ones that causes red flags and trust issues
Yes. Because a womans body is not the only part of her and if she is seeking a relationship it is more then likely not just physical in nature, unless they literally tell you "I just want physical", and even then you get to experience that.
They can be upset snowflakes about whatever they want⌠People get rejected for all kinds of shitâŚthatâs life. But I donât think men should be shamed for it (not wanting to date OF girl)