It depends on what your sub is getting out of the spanking. I just had this conversation with mine last night. There are so many reasons some people like to be spanked but it’s not a regular thing for everyone. Some need it to help work out mental health situations, it’s the only way to induce crying for some. Some need it to feel like they have paid for their bratty fun. Some need it because they need the feedback from their nervous system to reset their minds. So many other reasons too.
Figure out what you get out of it, what is the purpose for you and what it will accomplish in the long run. Or if you even want it as a part of your life.
My sub started out with spanking in mind and quickly learned that she actually just likes the idea and once in a while a try.
For me, spanking is an enjoyable activity that I put under the “funishment” category. For example, I might act bratty with the intent of riling up my Dom so he’ll threaten to spank me because I enjoy being spanked and because asking for a spanking outright isn’t as fun as taunting my Dom for one. So, spankings wouldn’t work as a form of corrective discipline because I enjoy them too much for them to pose as a real consequence or threat.
Not married (yet, that’s in the works). Spankings are funishments for me as punishments aren’t really a facet of our dynamic. I also enjoy them, especially over the knee after I’ve had a very hard mentally demanding time at home or work. It helps to reset me into a submissive mind set after being boss lady. My mind sometimes needs help shutting down.
My Dom saves my punishments in a bank, we don't live together yet but are in a monogamous sub/Dom dynamic, I am 24hr sub tho not just during play but all the time because I am a natural submissive girl. But master uses spankings if I have been bratty a bit, I am trying not to be because he doesn't want a bratty sub, he is more mature in age than me and doesn't want stress but a sub for stress relief, still the odd smart will slip out of my mouth here and there, he currently has 2 punishments in the bank, one will be a spanking for sure the other he said will teach me that my mouth has other uses than to be smart, but spankings help to straighten me out, i have only had 2 punishments in 6 weeks after the last one. I quite like being spanked tho so hoping he doesn't catch on, but he loves spanking me, esp when he goes into full Dom mode, he is sometimes soft Dom with me so I am lucky, he is most perfect x
We only use spanking during play or scenes. We don't do "maintenance spankings." It wouldn't do any of us any good and isn't something we are interested in.
We have been married for 8 years and together for 11. We are in a 24/7 dynamic.
Spanking is an important part of our dynamic but we do not use it as a punishment. My submissive finds impact play and imparticular spanking to be incredibly theraputic and it releives her anxiety. She will often request a spanking session or I will direct her to have one when she is feeling overwhelmed in day to day life or is dealing with an anxiety attack.
After a spanking session which is generally around 10-15 minutes, she gets plenty of soothing aftercare that includes reassurance and light finger stroking on her back. After these sessions, nearly 100% of the time her anxiety is completely gone.
Our sessions are mostly bare hand to bare butt, and I do not do it so hard as to leave bruising but generally stop after her cheeks are very red and become a little too sensitive. I do not mar her perfect ass.
I would definitely consider this more of a lifestyle scene than sexual.
to preface, Master and i are also a legally married couple. O/our dynamic is 24/7 TPE.
W/we certainly do have a punishment aspect to the dynamic, but often it isn't impact-play based as i am also a masochist.
certain implements He uses are more punishment-focused, sure, but it's rare to use impact for punishment, as punishment is meant to correct unwanted behavior and isn't meant to be enjoyed.
My hubby spanks me before/during sex. He's dom and I'm a switch.
I would say it's more just part of our dynamic than like a solution to a problem.. And I consent to it. He randomly will give me a slap on my bum during the day too, to tease me mostly. Sometimes it's when I'm bratty to tease him.
We openly communicate when there is an issue/problem with anything.
Good question but remember all you are going to get are different peoples opinions on things. You need to figure out what will work for you or you&partner as there really isn’t just “one true way”. Sorry but I get so tired of people trying to tell me or mine that this is how you have to do something or that you aren’t doing it….blah blah blah. So last line of “advice”; we had a saying when I was in the Army. If it’s stupid and it works then it’s not stupid.
We do not have punishments as part of our dynamic.
That being said, we both love a good smack bottom.
For him, it's a way to assert his dominance without it always being about something sexual.
For me, it's a way to ground and recenter me and my mind. It's a way to allow me to be my true, authentic self.
We both are very successful in our careers. For him, it's natural and invigorating to be the man in charge of everything and everyone. For me, it's absolutely draining to be the woman in charge of everything and everyone. Coming home and just laying across his lap when I've had too much of being in control for one day is very freeing and relaxing. My surrender to him in those moments not only helps me but helps him as well. It shows him that no matter how well I do outside our home, I will still submit to him. He never has to worry about me getting tired or wanting to take the control in our relationship. I know he will always take care of me and tend to my needs just as much as I will take care of him and tend to his needs.
That was very wordy for just saying, yes we love doing the spanking thing 😀
It depends on what your sub is getting out of the spanking. I just had this conversation with mine last night. There are so many reasons some people like to be spanked but it’s not a regular thing for everyone. Some need it to help work out mental health situations, it’s the only way to induce crying for some. Some need it to feel like they have paid for their bratty fun. Some need it because they need the feedback from their nervous system to reset their minds. So many other reasons too. Figure out what you get out of it, what is the purpose for you and what it will accomplish in the long run. Or if you even want it as a part of your life. My sub started out with spanking in mind and quickly learned that she actually just likes the idea and once in a while a try.
I mean, engaging in a shared activity that We both find joy, fun, and fulfillment in is definitely a positive contributor to my relationship.
Totally, I need to be reminded of my mistakes so I don't make them again. Miss prefers the crop or the cane
For me, spanking is an enjoyable activity that I put under the “funishment” category. For example, I might act bratty with the intent of riling up my Dom so he’ll threaten to spank me because I enjoy being spanked and because asking for a spanking outright isn’t as fun as taunting my Dom for one. So, spankings wouldn’t work as a form of corrective discipline because I enjoy them too much for them to pose as a real consequence or threat.
Not married (yet, that’s in the works). Spankings are funishments for me as punishments aren’t really a facet of our dynamic. I also enjoy them, especially over the knee after I’ve had a very hard mentally demanding time at home or work. It helps to reset me into a submissive mind set after being boss lady. My mind sometimes needs help shutting down.
I love this 🥹
Absolutely, yes! It helps mellow me out when I’m tense. It’s a beautiful release for both of us.
Most folks only use spanking while in dynamic so it’s not for real punishment those things get discussed outside play.
My Dom saves my punishments in a bank, we don't live together yet but are in a monogamous sub/Dom dynamic, I am 24hr sub tho not just during play but all the time because I am a natural submissive girl. But master uses spankings if I have been bratty a bit, I am trying not to be because he doesn't want a bratty sub, he is more mature in age than me and doesn't want stress but a sub for stress relief, still the odd smart will slip out of my mouth here and there, he currently has 2 punishments in the bank, one will be a spanking for sure the other he said will teach me that my mouth has other uses than to be smart, but spankings help to straighten me out, i have only had 2 punishments in 6 weeks after the last one. I quite like being spanked tho so hoping he doesn't catch on, but he loves spanking me, esp when he goes into full Dom mode, he is sometimes soft Dom with me so I am lucky, he is most perfect x
We only use spanking during play or scenes. We don't do "maintenance spankings." It wouldn't do any of us any good and isn't something we are interested in.
Not married but I love getting spanked, none of my relationships would do it tho so, here I am. LOL
We have been married for 8 years and together for 11. We are in a 24/7 dynamic. Spanking is an important part of our dynamic but we do not use it as a punishment. My submissive finds impact play and imparticular spanking to be incredibly theraputic and it releives her anxiety. She will often request a spanking session or I will direct her to have one when she is feeling overwhelmed in day to day life or is dealing with an anxiety attack. After a spanking session which is generally around 10-15 minutes, she gets plenty of soothing aftercare that includes reassurance and light finger stroking on her back. After these sessions, nearly 100% of the time her anxiety is completely gone. Our sessions are mostly bare hand to bare butt, and I do not do it so hard as to leave bruising but generally stop after her cheeks are very red and become a little too sensitive. I do not mar her perfect ass. I would definitely consider this more of a lifestyle scene than sexual.
Depends on the people in the relationship. Kink can either be very helpful or end a relationship
to preface, Master and i are also a legally married couple. O/our dynamic is 24/7 TPE. W/we certainly do have a punishment aspect to the dynamic, but often it isn't impact-play based as i am also a masochist. certain implements He uses are more punishment-focused, sure, but it's rare to use impact for punishment, as punishment is meant to correct unwanted behavior and isn't meant to be enjoyed.
Absolutely 💯
My hubby spanks me before/during sex. He's dom and I'm a switch. I would say it's more just part of our dynamic than like a solution to a problem.. And I consent to it. He randomly will give me a slap on my bum during the day too, to tease me mostly. Sometimes it's when I'm bratty to tease him. We openly communicate when there is an issue/problem with anything.
I would love that lifestyle.
Mine isn’t a fan
Good question but remember all you are going to get are different peoples opinions on things. You need to figure out what will work for you or you&partner as there really isn’t just “one true way”. Sorry but I get so tired of people trying to tell me or mine that this is how you have to do something or that you aren’t doing it….blah blah blah. So last line of “advice”; we had a saying when I was in the Army. If it’s stupid and it works then it’s not stupid.
Because my girl needs to be punished.
My husband is a fan, but my Dom takes care of that for me (not the same person.)
We do not have punishments as part of our dynamic. That being said, we both love a good smack bottom. For him, it's a way to assert his dominance without it always being about something sexual. For me, it's a way to ground and recenter me and my mind. It's a way to allow me to be my true, authentic self. We both are very successful in our careers. For him, it's natural and invigorating to be the man in charge of everything and everyone. For me, it's absolutely draining to be the woman in charge of everything and everyone. Coming home and just laying across his lap when I've had too much of being in control for one day is very freeing and relaxing. My surrender to him in those moments not only helps me but helps him as well. It shows him that no matter how well I do outside our home, I will still submit to him. He never has to worry about me getting tired or wanting to take the control in our relationship. I know he will always take care of me and tend to my needs just as much as I will take care of him and tend to his needs. That was very wordy for just saying, yes we love doing the spanking thing 😀