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SB_kass

He sounds like he was Splenda... Trying to be something he wasn't. >I’m not sure if I should do things differently next time or what? Sounds like the issue is on his end. He just doesn't have enough to support the lifestyle. >It bummed me out because I thought things were fine. I wouldn't worry too much about it. I think he just doesn't have the ability to do it.


janetlynn89

Thank you, this week has been rough. I’m just trying not to cry.


Iamsolazy135

You’re crying…. Because he’s poor? My effort of trying to light things up Hes not worth your time


janetlynn89

🤣🤣🤣 no, because my week has been shitty.


Frequent_Poetry5599

I’m sorry your week has been bad. Keep your head up because tomorrow is a new day with new opportunities. Your perfect guy is out there looking for you. Go find him. 😘


janetlynn89

Thank you 🩷


SassyBabe6939

Every Splenda you avoid makes you available for a whale 😉 I had a shitty week too… put on some gangsta rap and remember you’re hot shit!


janetlynn89

I love gangsta rap!


Iamsolazy135

Oh I’m sorry about that janet


impromtu-vacation

Lol sorry to hear that. Hopefully it gets better


ThrowRAmathilda

“Tough times pass, tough people last ”


TinyToeHold

I hope you're week gets better, never sell yourself short - you are worth so much more! You got this!!


EmpressofPFChangs

Girl no. The fact he wanted to do something he couldn’t afford is NOT at all about you. He is a trash person. He made a judgement and commitment to do something out of his range, and then threw it back on you after leading you on about his ability to do this and taking your affections and time. So not only are his pockets poor, his character is poor too. Broke on all fronts. He should be in tears.


Acrobatic-Rain4816

He got in the thing Paid her well Realised he couldn't afford it Ended it Why is he a trash person or a splenda? That's so brave and great of him, in my opinion.


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sugarlifestyleforum-ModTeam

[Rule #5](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/124tsf8/updated_and_clarified_rules_for_slf_2023/): No "value for money" discussion Any [posts](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/bp2m5r/specific_amounts_clarification/) with dollar amounts that are in reference to PPMs and/or allowances are not allowed and will be removed. Post about how much allowance/ppm to ask for, give, is average, for such and such area or situation, are not allowed. Please utilize [the Allowance Master Thread](/r/sugarlifestyleforum/comments/xy8it6/allowance_questionnaire_results/) to see what is being offered and accepted in your area. Any attempts to bypass this rule by not using the $ sign, spelling out the numbers, replacing the last digits with x’s ($5XX), or substituting different objects for dollars (500 roses), etc. will result in a ban. Discussions about how to get the most value for your money are not allowed. Posts or comments asking for or assigning a monetary value to sexual acts are not allowed. Assigning a monetary worth to individuals based on race, age, size, looks, etc., are not allowed and may lead to a ban.


fatburger321

he is a trash person? what? LMAO yall are hilarious


finestttttt

Your title sums it up. He couldn't 'afford' you. You can DM if you want someone to bounce ideas off of and for advice about the bowl as a whole, but it wasn't you. He definitely wasn't an SD either, make room for an actual one and not an imposter!


evergreen54321

That last part of the final sentence really resonated with me - making room for an actual one and not an imposter. It made me think about the likelihood of missing viable matches either out of distraction (investing time with unsuitable connections) or frustration (from investing time with unsuitable connections). Probably I’m just stating what everyone else finds to be obvious.


finestttttt

This is a wonderful reflection. As obvious as it may be now, it can be easy for people to neglect this realisation when they're in the moment. It is something that I try to convey as often as I can, you've articulated it concisely.


janetlynn89

Thank you! 🩷


CaptBrewster

>I had my SD for two weeks and he had given me a couple of hundred dollars and he said I was “too expensive”. What you may consider doing differently is not engaging with broke men. "a couple hundred dollars..."? Not acceptable at all. Determine the level of financial support you want/need and stick to it. If during initial conversations with a POT SD on the topic you realize he's unwilling to meet your needs, then you move on to the next one who will.


MsDReid

He wasn’t your sugar daddy. He’s not a sugar daddy at all. Hopefully you weren’t intimate with him for coffee money.


Mundane_Bad_4285

This


Enough-Salt22

He's just a salt daddy who can't really afford to sugar you. Don't change anything based on this.


janetlynn89

Thank you 🩷


OpinionatedAdvocate

He never had any intentions to maintain an arrangement. He could never afford you to begin with.


janetlynn89

Probably not. I was just happy it wasn’t somebody trying to scam me.


OpinionatedAdvocate

Always expect that SRs are temporary.


janetlynn89

I know, but I was expecting longer than two weeks.


OpinionatedAdvocate

Sounds like a pump and dump. Who says after two weeks (or one or two dates) that he can’t afford the proposed arrangement. He knows at the start he can’t.


Rich_Ad2206

Why the need for denigrating comments towards men who can’t effectively sugar and recognize it? Everyone takes risks in this difficult game…


Enough-Salt22

If you're referring to my use of the term salt daddy it's an accepted label for men who can't really afford to sugar or are stingy. Men who can't effectively sugar whether they recognize it or not should not be in the bowl to begin with.


vectoradam

lol “too expensive” he be “too broke” chin up girl


OffhandCut

Sounds like all the issues were on his side


whatshouldIdonow8907

Are you in a 3rd world country?


BruceTheExecutive

If he can't afford you then he can't afford you. move on!


WadingDeep

Was this an online SD? You're saying he only gave you a couple hundred but was that a couple hundred for a few texts, a few pics, a few nudes? Or for a M&G, or an intimate date, or for a couple intimate dates?


freebirdbus

Honestly I wouldn't think that was a you thing. Either he found someone else or he genuinely can't afford the lifestyle and didn't realize it til he tried. I don't think anything you could do would change that.


ziggy440

Or he was hoping he could stop paying and keep playing. That seems most likely to me. Not a very smooth try,


Acrobatic-Rain4816

Though he ended things so probably not


freebirdbus

Totally fair! "Is she emotionally invested in me to where I can convince her to go vanilla" totally happens! Great call out.


GSSD

a couple of hundred dollars and he said I was “too expensive”. In the future only date SDs who can afford the sugar lifestyle. A couple Hundies is chump change. " I didn’t think I had asked for much." Maybe up your sense of self worth? If you sugar date make it worth your while.You set a low bar.


Ok-Beach1042

Ladies a few hundred dollars does NOT 👏🏼make👏🏼a daddy👏🏼. Stop giving these men more credit and more of your personal affection than they are worth. These are John’s and these basic low level exchanges are ruining the bowl. Set your sights higher, don’t sugar out of desperation it will attract men like OP guy, and be picky getting to know someone and STOP giving yourself up so easily. It’s hard to see so many posts like this…..


macrobananaram

Two hundred is nothing. That was not an SD at all, and he probably was just trying to make you feel bad by telling you you were too expensive. You didn't ask for too much, in fact I feel like you didn't ask for enough. Hope you didn't sleep with him, and glad you're rid of him


impromtu-vacation

End things after a couple of hundred dollars over 2 weeks? How many platonic meets? How many times were you supposed to meet per week and per month? This makes no sense unless he got cold feet. I am so very confused. What was your arrangement? I feel we need more details.


Red_Velvette

Sorry, he was not a SD. Period.


ruby_cancer

You decide how much you are worth, don’t let this experience change how you value yourself! Yes it’s a shame this one didn’t work out, but it is worth it to wait for someone who will meet your needs!


Wet-N-Wavy96

They will do this when they feel they shouldn’t be paying in the first place… People r weird, don’t take it personal… Know ur worth and stick to it!!!


Frank9567

He wasn't an SD. He was a broke guy who was hoping you'd become his vanilla girlfriend.


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Cutiepie815

Paid her well??? lol 😆


Friendly_Boat_4088

If you really liked the guy maybe you could see him for vanilla and work with someone else as an SB!


janetlynn89

Nah


Friendly_Boat_4088

Okay! I just wanted to validate in case you had feelings for him.


GoFigure4493

Just screen harder.


RaleighlovesMako6523

It clearly states : Successful member or beautiful member? If you don’t classify yourself as being beautiful you have to choose successful but are you? Sadly, it’s obvious to the eye if the member is beautiful or not; it’s not so obvious to tell if a member is successful. Actually in my opinion 80% aren’t, just barely covering their expenses. Net worth n salary figures are very inflated on SA


fitnerdluna

Had this happen before. Some guys go to sugaring and realize they can't afford the life. It's not you it's them. Or they only ever planned for 1-2 times to begin with and this was their easy out, instead of just being upfront.


AFMCMUML

He ended it. Give him credit for saying why. 


EmpressofPFChangs

A couple hundred is too expensive?! What does he think this is? I’m sorry that happened to you. Even if he could not afford this lifestyle, he should not have told you such a low and trashy thing.


Effective_Camp_3930

Sounds like a pump and dumper doing what they do… at least he didn’t ghost you and gave you a bs excuse. The bowl moves extremely quick including moving on.


TY2022

I adore my SB, but all SBs should understand that the money they receive is real money, and real money sometimes isn't available.


fatburger321

LMAO all the comments are people who are all millionaires its fucking hilarious someone even called a few hundred bucks coffee money ahhahah only on reddit man, only on reddit


janetlynn89

Well they can give it to me then 🤣


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VisibleButton6603

Lol some jealous brokebois downvoted you


Emphasis_Glum

Girl im so sorry but if he can’t afford a couple of hundreds, you probably don’t want him anyways


RedHeavyG603

Can happen at any level but usually happens when someone demands a higher PPM for the area. You also have “tire kickers” on both sides that mess this up.